So hi people! I'm back after months of not even remembering this app since it brought some dark and gruesome memories, but I've come to conclusions that I should give a little insight of my thoughts.
So I've been thinking that even tho I may act like I'm being trash to this one person (you know who you are) I may talk shit about you behind your back, I still think you're an amazing person... it's just my way to cope with all of the pain that's still there.... I'm really sorry if any of it has hurt you, but I just can't help it because it just hurts to even know you're there... I've "moved on" and I haven't been thinking about you for a long time because it hurts to think about those good old days when we were friends and now we don't even know anything about each other. I know this might sound weird and it's probably selfish of my part, but I would like it if you could forgive me and maybe try to be friends again.... I've been really thinking deep about this but.. it's true... I want to give ourselves another chance in being in "good terms" in some way... if anything just please let me know in some way.... if not.. I'm sorry.. but it was worth the try..
After that, I've come to conclusions that I'm trans to! At this point I don't really care if everyone knows about this because I have people I've met through the course of months that support me and get me and just are very cool people. So my name is Maxwell Johnson Lee but people call me Max so yea....
Also, one person that I've met is Dallas (aka Cricket!!!) and we're doing a "secret" performance that very little people know about, some know that we're doing a performance but they don't know when or what we're doing or anything about it, but they just know that there's going to an assembly for or performance. Some other people do know what we're doing and everything (aka my girlfriend, an acquaintance of mine, and of course the "backpack drummers") and they like the idea of it and behind it. For those people that are reading this, it's going to be a Twenty Øne Piløts kind of show. We're performing a mashup of three of their songs and a little "trio" drum little special thing that we "snuck" in there and it's pretty cool. Anyway, tomorrow, Saturday, I'm going to cricket's place to practice with her instructor and to perfect everything that we need to perfect before the performance. Not saying the "show" date yet because now everything is confusing me so I can't give an exact date, either way I might not give the date cause I want for it to be a little surprise.
Well, finally, I've been listening to TØP lately and it's for a reason... which is also the reason why I haven't been active for so long. So before we all know how I was depressed and I was having suicidal thoughts... I decided and came to a conclusion that I needed to stop listening to MCR. MCR is a great band, I'm not gonna lie, but it just gave me this very depressed vibe and it made me just deal with myself more every day. I'm not trying to trash talk MCR because they are amazing and I hope they get back together soon (almost 2019 so let's see if our theories are right!!!), but they're music just was way too depressing for me trying to recover myself. I knew that TØP was a little different and that I needed a long time to get used to their songs. Plus, I was trying to do an effort for myself to not kill myself basically... I was trying to help myself to be happy and stop being depressed. So I decided that I should maybe start listening to TØP and since then I've been listening to TØP non stop, and that's why I'm better now. I do believe that music has an impact on you and I do believe that if you make the effort, you can do it. So I did the efforts and it worked! Now I have the best friends I could ever wish for and I'm having so much fun this year because of it! I found out a lot about TØP and I'm happy about it.
Well, this is too long and my inspiration is starting to go away, but yea... this was just a little "hey, I didn't kill myself" so yea... might do another one in about a year, but yea... just wanted to share what's been going on.
