Ruminant

Bonus: Little Sister AU - 1

Summary: Where Nara Shikari is born just a wee bit later and Shikamaru questions the mental health of the people around him.

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1.

Shikamaru didn't know what he did in his past life to deserve the little sister he was saddled with but it must have been pretty bad when he got one that had acquired the hobby of "biting him to death" at the tender age of three.

He wasn't kidding.

No matter what his mother always said whenever he brought the topic up or the indulgent looks his father sent him whenever he protested about the treatment he'd gotten-

He wasn't- he wasn't going crazy.

Shikamaru would know. He already checked from the books he'd borrowed from Inoichi-oji's library. If anyone was, it was the others for thinking that Nara Shikari's a "sweetie pie" or a "darling" or whatever cutesy nickname the people around him managed to come up with to describe his younger sister.

He wouldn't be duped.

That damn toddler was a terrifying, insidious menace and everyone was a fool for not seeing it.

Shikamaru shook his head in disgust at the shallowness of people and their inability to put up a fight against dimpled cheeks and adorable babies while cautiously looking at his surroundings in case his mother got mind-reading powers sometime after breakfast and heard him swear. He wouldn't be surprised if the woman did - kami knew his mother was terrifying and could get incensed for the er- littlest of things.

(If his mother gets angry during the times when he would ditch his responsibilities around the house- well Shikamaru had a...good reason for that.

He was a growing boy.

He needed sleep.

If his nap times somehow managed to always strike during times where he should be doing his chores that's just luck and coincidence, he tells you.

Luck and coincidence.)

Shikamaru swore his mother had it out for him. It was unfair. She wasn't like that with his sister-

(He chose to ignore the infuriatingly reasonable voice in his head that said it was understandable since precociousness aside, his sister was a three year old and the comparison he was making wasn't, in any shape or form, fair.

That voice was irritating, truly.)

She could do no wrong, the little angel, Shikamaru mockingly mouthed as he looked up from the sky and remembered the fussing the clan did to the haughty toddler.

Shikari practically got all of the others wrapped under her little finger but Shikamaru knew better. That baby was trouble since she first said her first sentence and Shikamaru would stand by that belief even if Shikari was admittedly...cute for a brat.

He grimaced at the thought but couldn't bring himself to retract the description since it was, undeniably, the truth.

"What a drag."

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When Shikamaru first heard his mother was pregnant, he immediately thought it would be nice to look out for someone for a change. A little sister, maybe, to avoid pesky little brother-inferiority-complexes that makes everything troublesome in the long run and, perhaps, well- hopefully influence her not to be another version of Ino or their mother.

With a little bit of doting and attention, it would probably work. Little sisters were supposed to idolize their older brothers, after all, and Shikamaru's sure he could muster enough energy to bring out that kind of fervor.

He got it all planned.

Shikamaru would train her to like shogi, see naps and cloud-watching as a valid hobby, and be as unharpy-like as possible.

His little sister would be the most untroublesome girl that a Nara could ever met and a useful heater when he wanted to have some cuddle time.

Chouji's good but he's not always there so having a sister like that would be amazing.

It was supposed to be perfect.

Until the baby was actually born and everything went bananas.

Nothing was ever right again.

Not by a long shot.

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"Shikamaru, can you bring your sister to the park today? I would be busy filling up some-" His mother asked as she fussed over the pouting baby in front of him.

"What." Shikamaru managed to choke out as he coughed out the water that went down the wrong tube.

"Yes." His mother's eyes glinted in warning. "I have to fill up some paperwork, you see - tie up some loose ends and Shikari was getting fussy inside the clan grounds. A bit of fresh air would be good for her." She smiled sharply. "Besides, Kasuga-kun volunteered to watch over you so it wouldn't be much of a bother, so be a good brother ne?" She bustled around the dining table and turned to his little sister. "Shikari-chan, would you like more water?"

The baby scrunched up her nose before nodding her head regally.

What.

Shikamaru wanted to bang his head on something.

Ugh.

This would be a drag.