Back To You (A NASHLENE fanfic)

When

Palawan. There is nothing like this place in the whole world. Tila binura nito ang lahat ng kaba at pag-aalinlangan ko. God definitely is great.

We are staying in a rest house exclusively for us in one of the beaches in Palawan. The scenes we're suppose to take here is Nash and I's hometown. And they are going to be about the events before Nash went to States. Alam ko na ang mga linya at mga gagawin ko kasi pinag-aralan ko na ang mga ito before we came here. I know Nash is the same. As far as I know him, well-organised talaga siyang tao at napaka serious niya when it comes to work, explains why isa siya sa mga batikang artista ng aming henerasyon. I am always proud of him kahit pa sa nangyari noon sa amin na mukhang ako lang naman ang naapektuhan ng husto.

Nandito ako ngayon sa balkonahe ng kwartong pansamantala kong tutuluyan habang nandito kami. Tahimik akong nakikinig ng music habang nakahiga sa isang hammock. Naghihintay ako na tawagin nina Caroline. Sabi kasi nila mamamasyal kami sa isla today. They went out for a while kaya naiwan akong mag-isa rito. Si Caroline nga pala ang makakasama ko rito sa kwarto.

But I see you with her slow dancing tearin' me apart coz you don't see. Whenever you kiss her I'm breaking, oh how I wish that was me.

Damn song. Making me realise just how stupid I am to wish for him.

"Tss." I hissed to myself.

Tumayo ako at tiningnan ang kabuuan ng dagat. Kitang-kita mula sa balkonaheng ito ang ganda at lawak ng dagat. Napangiti ako. It's moments like this that make me feel better. I shrugged at all my negative thoughts and just kept looking at the ocean. Gusto ko tuloy maligo doon. Nasaan na kaya ang mga kasamahan ko?

I decided to call Caroline but she left her phone on her bed. Careless girl. Lalabas na nga lang ako. I want to go near the water. I brought my phone and earphones with me so that I could listen to some music while I am there. Soot ko rin ang aking shorts at white bikini top but of course, I'm covered by a green cardigan. I'm not used to exposing my skin that much.

Pagkalabas ko ng kwarto ay nakita ko ang aking dalawang bodyguards na natutulog sa malalaking sofa ng living room sa baba. Nasa second floor kasi itong kwarto namin ni Caroline, malapit sa stairs. Kawawa naman sila. I can see no one around the rest house. Baka naman ay nakalimutan na nila akong tawagan at nag-eenjoy na silang lahat ng wala ako. I hope not. As I walked down the stairs, nahagip ng mata ko ang pinto ng kwarto ni Nash na nasa tapat lang pala ng kwarto namin. The door is slightly open. Nasa loob kaya siya? Saglit akong natigilan sa pagbaba because I had the urge to go there. But what am I thinking? Why would I go there? I shrugged at that thought at nagpatuloy nalang sa pagbaba sa hagdanan.

I surveyed my eyes around the house and I can really see no one except the bodyguards sleeping in the living room. I wonder if it's okay for me to go out. I went near the main door of the house to look outside. The place seems quiet. Wala masyadong tao sa labas. I heard from Mamang that they really rented the whole resort for us. That convinced me to finally step out of the rest house and go to where my heart wants- by the sea.

Narating ko na ang gate ng rest house ng may humawak sa aking kamay. Napasinghap ako sa gulat ng mapagtanto kong si Nash pala ang gumawa nito. Agad kong tinanggal ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa wrist ko. He's giving me heart attacks, seriously.

"Saan ka pupunta? We're not allowed to go out yet." Sabi niya.

"What? Why?" Naiinis kong tugon. Bakit naman hindi?

"They're out because they're still securing the resort if there's really no one who can disturb us. Alam mo na. Paparazzi. We don't want that." Sagot naman niya.

Sumenyas siya na dapat na kaming bumalik sa rest house. Wala naman akong magawa kundi ang sumunod.

"Kailangan ba talaga na silang lahat ang lumabas to do that?" I asked as I sat down on the sofa in the living room. My two bodyguards are even gone now. Ano ba to. Why am I alone with him?

"Hindi naman silang lahat. The others are in their rooms, probably sleeping." Ani Nash at saka umupo na rin sa tabi ko.

God. Why does he have to be this close to me?

"Akala ko kasi tayo nalang ang naiwan. Sobrang tahimik kasi." Sabi ko ng mahina without looking at him.

Saglit na katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin. I don't like this.

"I'll probably sleep nalang din, Nash. Akyat muna ako." I stood up and started walking away.

"Shar..." He suddenly called out.

I stopped walking and forced myself to turn around para makita ko siya. He was still sitting but he's now looking at me intently.

"Hmm...?" -me

"Mahal mo ba si Jairus?" Diretso niyang tanong.

"Oo naman. He's such a dear friend of mine." Sagot ko.

"No I mean, as a guy. Not as a friend. He seems really in love with you. And you said na nangliligaw siya sa iyo, right?" -Nash

"Yes." -Me

"So do you love him too?" Walang preno niyang tanong.

"I don't think I have the same kind of love that he has for me." Mahina kong sagot.

I saw him smiled after what I said. Ano na naman to Nash?

"Then don't let him court you." He stood up and walked towards me.

What the fuck is this game now, Aguas? I took steps backward dahil pakiramdam ko ay ang lapit na niya sa akin. My fucking heart is beating so fast.

"If you can't give him the love he deserves, tell him for his own good, Shar." Dagdag pa niya.

This time hawak-hawak niya ang dalawa kong kamay habang nakasandal ako sa may hagdanan. What's he up to now?

"You don't have to be this close to me kung bibigyan mo lang ako ng advise tungkol diyan, Nash." I threw away his hands and laughed, trying to change the mood we're in.

"When should I be close to you then, Shar?" Seryoso niyang sabi.

Lumayo ako ng bahagya sa kanya. Akmang aakyat na ako nang hinawakan na naman niya ako sa kamay.

"Ano ba Nash? Ano bang ginagawa mo? Are we practicing for a scene? Should I get my copy of lines? I'm not aware of this." Tuloy tuloy kong sabi. Ipinapakita ko na talaga sa kanya na naiinis na ako, na hindi ko na gusto ang nangyayari.

"Answer me first Sharlene!" He almost shouted.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Now we're both shouting.

Bigla siyang natahimik at yumuko pero hawak niya parin ako.

"I'm sorry. Alexa and I broke up yesterday. I'm sorry. Wala ako sa tamang pag-iisip ngayon. I'm sorry, Shar." He sighed.

I felt my heart ached again for god knows how many times. So what now Nash? Dahil nag break kayo ay lalapit-lapit ka sa akin ng ganito para ako naman ang paglaruan mo? Nararamdaman ko na ang pagtulo ng luha ko kaya binilisan ko na lamang ang pag-akyat palayo sa kanya.

But before I went inside my room, I needed to say something.

"You can never be close to me anymore Nash. We're not the same as before."