RuPaul's School of Bitchcraft and Wiggitory

Well, shit (24)

"What did you say?" Willam asked, walking next to me down the corridor as I stepped out of Michelle's office. After that conversation yesterday, I decided to go and speak to Michelle about the problem.

I stopped walking and stood outside a door that I think led to the janitors closet. Willam stopped too and stood in front of me.
"Well, I told her everything I knew, and everything you guys told me. She agreed with you and said we shouldn't leave her alone, and that she wants her to come back to school, even if she just sits with her all day. She said she wanted court to go to counselling." Willam shook her head,
"No. I know Courtney, and that will only make her worse."
"Yeah, I get that, but don't you want to help her? At least try to?"
"Of course I do! But talking about her feelings won't help her, she needs to forget them."
"We haven't got many options here Willam! At least try it, please?"
"Okay. For court."
"Thank you." I said. We continued to talk about things until Trixie and Katya joined us.
"Эй, шлюхи!" Katya said, grinning.
"We still can't understand you bitch." Willam said, rolling her eyes.
"She said hey whores." Trixie sighed, acting like Katyas translator.
"Are you gonna finish that?" Katya asked, pointing to Willam's coffee in her hand. Willam shook her head and handed Katya the half-drunken coffee.
"Anyway, did you speak to Michelle?" Trixie said as I nodded. "What did she say?"
"She wants Courtney to start coming in as of tomorrow." I said quietly.
"Well that's a shit idea." Katya said, taking a sip of the coffee.
"What do you mean?" Willam questioned.
"Well, she's not exactly fit to come to school is she? I mean she's barely sleeping or eating. She can't even walk down the stairs without nearly passing out." Willam winced as she said this so I grabbed her hand reassuringly. Even if she was right. Katya looked down at us and looked back up, an apologetic look of her face. "Sorry."
"No, Katya's right." Trixie said, "Courtney's scaring me, she needs a hospital, not school. If we don't help her, she could get seriously ill. Do you want her to die?" I could feel the sharp pain shoot through everyone in the group.
"I do." Phi phi piped up. She'd been stood next to us this whole time listening to our conversation without us even realising.
"Fuck off phi phi." Willam, who had her back to her the whole time, turned around to face her. I caught a glimpse of anger in her eye as she clenched her fist.
"What? She's practically dead anyway, you should just kill her now. Put her out of her misery." Phi phi smirked as we all stood there in horror. I looked down at Willam's fist as she clenched it even harder. She was shaking bad as I watched her bite her lip. Phi phi seemed to be having fun, trying to push Willam over the edge.
"Give it a rest phi phi, this doesn't concern you." I said, crossing my arms.
"I'm just saying, maybe the world would be a better place if she wasn't in it. After all, malnu-"
Before she could finish her sentence, Willam was trying to take a swing.

Willam's P.O.V

"What? She's practically dead anyway, you should just kill her now. Put her out of her misery." I blinked back tears, shocked as to what just came out of her mouth. I tightened the grip on my fists until I could feel my nails piercing through my skin. I bit my lip to try and stop my shaking.
Adore said something but I drowned it out, trying to concentrate on phi phi's face.
"I'm just saying, maybe the world would be a better place if she wasn't in it." I closed my eyes.
"After all, malnu-" without letting her finish, I swing my arm in the air, waiting for it come into contact with her face. But, it never happened. Instead, I felt an arm wrap tightly and quickly around my waist, pulling me back, and another hand which had a tight grip on my wrist, preventing me from trying to swing again.
I struggled, trying to escape the grip, of what seemed to be adore, but I failed and instead just collapsed into her chest in sobs.
"You fucking bitch!" I screamed to phi phi, unable to see whether she was still there through the blurry view of my tears. I pushed my head hard into adores chest and pulled on the shirt she was wearing, not caring about my makeup anymore. Every time I went to punch her out of anger, she just pulled me closer, and hugged me tighter. I wanted to scream.
"Can everyone leave please!" I heard Adore say. Everyone must've heard us shouting and came to see what was up. I hated people seeing me cry, emotions are for ugly people.
"We'll see you at home." Katya said as her and Trixie left after hugging me lightly. The noise quietened down as everyone went to finish their lunch break, until it was just me and adore, and the light buzz of distant conversation. I couldn't stop sobbing, until it was soon becoming hard to breath. I pulled away from Adore but held her arm tight. My chest was burning and I felt like I was drowning. My arms and legs had gone numb and I was certain I was going to pass out. I felt sick to my stomach and Adore pulled me into the closet behind us and locked the door. I began hyperventilating and I couldn't stop shaking as Adore sat me on the floor and handed me a bottle of water out of her purse.
"Willam you're okay, you're just having a panic attack." No. No, I don't get panic attacks.
"Just count to ten, list me five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Squeeze my hand. Listen to your breathing." I did as she said and I slowly began to feel like me again. I took a sip of the water, and put my head on Adore's shoulder.
"Thank you, Adore. For everything earlier too, I don't know what I would've done to her otherwise."
"Do we really wanna know?" We laughed slightly.
"So, how's you and Bianca, have you spoken yet?" She took a sharp breath in.
"Have you not heard? About her and bob?"
"Uhm, no, what about them?" I said as I sat up and faced her.
"Yeah, they're, they're together now." A look of sadness fell on her face as did a few tears when she looked at the floor.
"I'm so sorry Adore." I said, pulling her into a hug. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, her crystal blue eyes. Before we could grasp what was happening, we were leaning in and our lips were touching. It felt good, but it felt wrong. I pulled away and stood up stumbling back slightly. Adore jumped up quickly after and looked away awkwardly.
"We uhh, I shouldn't be doing this. I have to go!" I ran out of the closet and headed straight for the bathroom. I stumbled into one of the stalls and threw up in the toilet.

How could I do this to Courtney?