The choice (ON HOLD)

Prologue

It's 4 in the morning and I haven't slept a wink , instead I'm laying on my bed trying to decipher the little patterns on my ceiling in the dark. He was supposed to call hours ago and yet my phone has remained silent. I feel like my twelve year old self again, the girl who would wait by the phone in hopes that my crush would call me. Here I am at 21 years old doing the exact same thing

Gosh I had worked so hard to rebuild my self confidence after the mess that was middle and high school I had become a strong young woman who took charge , who was assertive and got what she wanted when she wanted, men dropped to their knees with just a flutter of my eyelashes. I was THAT girl,everyone either wanted to be with me or be me .

At least that was how it was before I met him, how do I even begin to describe him , when I had first laid eyes on him I felt my heart stutter he was just utterly magnificent those seductive eyes, plush pink lips and a voice so deep it could make glass vibrate and it all belonged to one person ; Prince Rogers Nelson.

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It was now 4:10 a.m ten minutes had passed I'm so anxious that my nightgown has started to stick to my back with sweat. My life has barely begun yet I feel like the rest of it depends on this phone call I decide to get up and clear my head.I walk into the bathroom and turn on the lights to splash some water on my face to cool myself off . *Ring ring ring ring* I gasp not even bothering to turn off the faucet as I try to make my way to my nightstand almost slipping on the slick tile in the process. I fumble with my phone , as my eyes are blurred with water but I can still make out the letter "p" which tells me all I need to know. Holding my breath I slowly press the green button.

"Hello" my breath hitches when I hear his voice my throat is tightening and my palms are getting sweaty "hello?" I hear him ask again when I failed to answer the first time get it together I tell myself. "uhm, hi" I finally manage to say. "Oh great you picked up" he says I stay silent knowing that he's not done yet he sighs deeply... uh oh, " look uh I'm sorry I-uh I- I never wanted it to end like this but-"

I knew what he was going to say before he even said it , my heart dropped to my stomach,I heard the blood rushing in my head and my throat was so tight I felt like I was going to pass out. "you love her don't you?" I manage to choke out, when he doesn't reply right away feel the sob threatening to tear from me and I can't control it it feels as if i'm going to explode. I sink to the floor in a puddle of my own tears and silk nightgown , the tears are running down my face at a rate that would give Niagara falls a run for it's money . I hear him breathe on the other side of the line before he answers " I do , and I am so , so , sorry it had to turn out like this , but you, you knew that someone would get hurt in the end of it all"

" I know" I sniffle " but I never thought that you- that I would , would have been-"

" I don't know how I'll get over this, I still love you so much despite the fact that I should hate you right now"

" I know you don't wanna hear this but you're still young you will meet someone else and you'll be happy , you deserve it and soon or later you'll look back on your memories of me without feeling pain."

Before I could answer I heard a woman's voice in the background " look I gotta go , take care of yourself" and with that the line disconnects, my glassy eyes are staring at nothing in particular while I stew in my shock and misery. I should have never let my guard down for a guy no matter how sweet and attractive he was I should have kept my walls up, but I didn't and look where it got me.

All my sadness is turning into rage the more I think about how I lost him, of how another woman's hands will be able to touch him of how she'll be able to kiss him she got everything I wanted , it's not fair I still love him which is why she has got to go, if I can't have him then no one can.

I run a hand through my hair and slip off my night gown in favor of an outdoors outfit heading downstairs I stuff my bag with what I need and slip out the door and into the night.