[SNSD] Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered - Taeny, Yulsic (Full)

3.5K 15 2
                                    

CHAPTER 1:  ALL THE THINGS YOU A RE
“…seventy-three…seventy-four…sev-no wait, that’s not a hole, that’s some sort of bug, right?
No… it’s…OH GROSS!”
Jessica Jung quickly sat up on the couch she was laying on, welcoming the light-headedness
and spots that swam around her vision as she momentarily forgot about the object that had
somehow found its way to the ceiling.  When her vision finally cleared, her eyes sought out the large
clock at the opposite end of the room.
8:45
“Unbelievable,” the girl muttered. Apparently counting the holes in every ceiling tile was
able to make time pass relatively fast. She pushed herself off the couch and made her way to the
nearest window, hoping to catch site of the late offender on the street below.
“One of these days, I’m going to take my watch and tattoo it right up her-”
Jessica never finished the thought as the door behind her suddenly slammed open and said
victim bowled straight into the room.
Hands on her knees and panting profusely, Stephanie Hwang, also known as Tiffany Hwang,
sincerely, and quite loudly, apologized, “I’m so sorry I’m late, Jess!”
Jessica’s eyes immediately softened at the use of her nickname. The tongue lashing she had
spent the past 43 minutes preparing for the girl died on her lips. To everyone else in their idol
group, Girls’ Generation, not to mention the entire population of South Korea, she was known as
Sica. Oddly enough, only Tiffany called her by the simple western nickname, and even then, only
when no one else was around. Jessica wasn’t going to complain though, as it made her feel closer to
the girl when she used it. She sighed. It wasn’t fair. She had really wanted to rip into the girl, but at
the sound of one word, all her pent up anger, as well as her perfectly malicious speech, dissipated.
Of course, had Tiffany known what an effect that one word had on Jessica, she would not have still
been bowing her head and rubbing her hands together in an act of contrition.
Not wanting to let the near-prostrating girl off the hook so easily, Jessica crossed her arms
and fixed an icy glare, accompanied with a well arched eyebrow straight at the supplicating form. It
was then that Jessica finally took in Tiffany’s appearance.  Her short hair that wasn’t bouncing
around from all the bowing was matted across her sweaty forehead. Her shirt was slightly off
center, most likely from the running she had been doing, and her skirt had managed to twist around
and was now on sideways.  Finally, Jessica noticed that Tiffany was missing a shoe, and that
shoeless leg was also sporting a very nasty scratch on the knee.
Jessica sighed and walked up to the girl, firmly grasping her shoulders and directing her to
the couch. “Sit,” she ordered, before quickly heading towards the door.
Before Tiffany had a chance to figure out why she was alone in the room, Jessica returned
with a box of tissues in one hand and a white heeled sandal in the other. She placed the sandal on
the ground by Tiffany before grabbing an unopened water bottle that was sitting on a nearby coffee
table.  She then proceeded to join the sandal by sitting on the floor.
“Um…Jess,” Tiffany had started to say.
“Don’t move,” Jessica interrupted firmly before opening the bottle of water and wetting a
handful of tissues. She then proceeded to clean the ugly looking scratch on Tiffany’s knee.
“What am I going to do with you, Tiffany,” Jessica scolded, never taking her eyes off the
knee. “You, of all people, should know better than to run up stairs in heels, you’re practically always
in them!”
Tiffany rubbed the back of her head and replied with an embarrassed grin, her eyes
disappearing in the process. “Hehe, yeah…sorry about that. It’s just that the CF meeting ran late and
I knew you had been waiting for me for a while.”
All the Things You Are
3 | P a g e
Jessica looked up at the sheepish girl and sighed again, she seemed to be doing that a lot
around Tiffany lately. “It wasn’t a while,” she clarified, “it was nearly an hour. What’s another few
lousy seconds for you to get up the stairs?  Besides, you could have just texted me when the meeting
was over.”
“Oh.” Tiffany blinked a couple of times as she realized how much sense Jessica had made.
Jessica fought the urge to sigh again and quickly finished tending her wounded compatriot.
“Okay, that should do it,” she attempted to say in a dismissive tone as she got up. “Put on your shoe
while I clean this up, and then let’s get to work, okay?”
Tiffany, however, knew better than to take that uninterested voice at face value. Exploding
into a giant smile she chirped, “Thanks, Sica!”
Jessica turned her face away to cover the frown that appeared when she heard Tiffany call
her by her “normal” nickname. Tiffany, though, did not notice and quickly got up to hug her
Florence Nightingale. Unfortunately, she had not taken Jessica’s advice to put on her shoe so she
immediately lost her footing and nearly fell as Jessica caught her clumsy friend.
“Ehehe…sorry again…,” apologized Tiffany, whose grinning face was now inches in front of
Jessica’s.
Jessica quickly righted Tiffany and instead of letting go, or even blushing for that matter,
smiled and placed one hand on her friend’s head before responding, “Dummy.”
Surprised at Jessica’s rare display of tenderness, Tiffany paused for a moment before
returning the smile. She then got out from under Jessica’s hand and skipped to the middle of the
room saying, “Alright! Time to practice!”
“Fany!” Jessica called back, “aren’t you forgetting something again?” She held up the girl’s
white heeled sandal.
“Ack!”
“…She hasn’t changed a bit since the first day I met her…”
- 4 years ago (2004)
“So please remember to report to your dance class to find out who you will be partnered
with for the showcase. It may sound early, but before you know it, it will be right on top of us and
you had better be ready…”
Jessica was normally not a violent girl, but at that moment she wished she could tear the
mouth off of the speaker at the front of the room. If she couldn’t, she would gladly settle for tearing
off her own ears.
Once a week, all the trainees gathered up in a musty room and listened to the same man
repeat the same thing over and over again. To make matters worse, he seemed to have a gap in his
teeth that created a high pitched whistling noise every time he pronounced the letter ‘s’.
It had all become tedious to her. Every few months, she would have to endure the stress and
scrutiny of preparing and performing in the company’s trainee showcase.  On top of that, the
trainees had to continue with their daily training as well.  There was stumbling through dance
practice until her legs turned to Jell-O, pantomiming the emotions of a tree living through the
seasons in acting class, and the worst: learning the “proper” etiquette that every idol must exhibit. It
wasn’t her fault people thought she didn’t smile enough, they just didn’t realize when she WAS
smiling. She had been putting up with this silliness for four years with absolutely no end in sight.
It wasn’t that much better at home either. As a fifteen year old girl, she was in the
unfortunate position of having the most embarrassing parents in the known universe as well as the
most annoying little sister that had ever roamed the planet. Well, second most. Her cousin’s
stepsister was much worse, but then again, she was evil incarnate so she did not count on the
technicality that she wasn’t human.
All the Things You Are
4 | P a g e
Jessica finally gave up trying to look like an attentive trainee, and instead of taking notes,
began jotting down some ideas to get revenge on her sister for hiding all of her underwear in the
morning.
“mmrgh…”
“…”
“grrrrr…”
“…”
“Ackthp!”
Jessica closed her eyes and suppressed the urge to strangle the girl sitting to her left. She
had been making strange high pitched noises for the past half hour. Jessica turned to “kindly”
remind the girl that she was not a hyena, at least she hoped so, she wasn’t sure a person could
produce the kind of noises this girl had been making. What Jessica saw next was probably one of the
cutest sights she had ever seen. A long and wavy haired girl was nervously chewing off the eraser of
her pencil. She alternated between furiously scribbling in her notepad, mostly scratching out what
she had already written, and looking up at the speaker with the most terrified rabbit eyes. It was
apparent the girl was having trouble understanding the speaker, so much so that sweat drops were
practically shooting out of head. She looked like she was one run-on sentence away from having a
nervous breakdown.
Now even a self-proclaimed ice princess like Jessica could not help but feel sympathy for the
girl. Jessica tapped the girl’s shoulder and the girl shrieked, launching both her notepad and pencil
to the ceiling. With all eyes on her, the girl hastily recovered her items at the other side of the room,
all the while bowing and apologizing profusely. As if it were not enough for the poor girl, when she
finally returned to her seat, she was greeted by Jessica’s cold stare and delicately arched eyebrow.
The unsuspecting girl absolutely withered in her seat. Once the speaker resumed his monotonous
speech Jessica tossed her notes over to her fidgety neighbor’s lap, making sure to avoid any sudden
movements. The long haired girl tilted her head and gazed questioningly at Jessica with a look that
made Jessica want to eat her up in one bite.
“The notes start two pages back,” she whispered to the perplexed girl. “Just copy those and
don’t worry about what this guy is droning on about, you’ll hear it plenty of times.  I’m guessing
you’re new so it doesn’t apply to you anyways.”
Jessica saw the girl sigh in relief and then mouthed her thanks before she erupted into a
twenty mega-watt smile that had Jessica squinting. Not really knowing how to reply to that kind of
response Jessica turned her eyes back towards the front of the room and promptly checked out,
letting her neighbor finish copying her notes.
When the meeting had finally concluded, Jessica got up and stretched out her arms, closing
her eyes while stifling a yawn. When she opened them she was greeted by a bright smile and tiny
moon eyes. “Thank you so much for the notes!” her grateful neighbor replied.  “You’re a lifesaver,
but,” the girl hesitated, “I didn’t know what to do about that part that said ‘Put honey in Krystal’s
training bra’…“
“Um, yeah…that’s not really important…” Jessica muttered as she quickly took her notepad
back.
“Oh, yeah I figured,” the girl replied back, trying to get over the awkward silence. “Oh!” she
brightly stated, “My name is Hwang Mi-umm…Hwang Stephanie, nice to meet you!”
Jessica smiled at Stephanie’s energy. “Hello, Hwang Stephanie, I’m Jung Jessica,” she replied,
imitating Stephanie’s introduction. It was obvious the girl did not like using her Korean name and
she was obviously American from her name and accent. Jessica enjoyed introducing herself to
Westerners since she could use her American name as it did not get much use out here in Seoul.
What Jessica could not expect however, was Stephanie’s reaction. The girl exploded into
another twenty mega-watt smile and her voice raised an octave or two higher. What was worse was
that she began speaking in English. Jessica had no problems understanding English, as she had
All the Things You Are
5 | P a g e
spent the first eleven years of her life in San Francisco. The problem was that she had grown up IN
San Francisco. The city had instilled in her an instant dislike of the “SoCal Speak”, something that
Stephanie was clearly using at high decibels. In fact, Jessica realized that while she liked her
American name, she definitely did not like speaking English in Korea, as many of the English
speakers in Seoul happened to be Korean-Americans born and bred in Southern California.
And that was how Jessica spent the last forty minutes after the meeting, trying to keep up
with the girl in a hyper paced conversation. By the time she was able to extricate herself from
Stephanie, their conversation had somehow strayed to a show called Laguna Beach and some girl
named LC.

Jessica was very grumpy. She had gotten into a fight with her sister in the morning due to
some misplaced honey. That in and of itself was no big deal as Jessica had the utmost confidence in
putting the little twerp in her place. Today, however, the stinker cheated and began wailing so loud
that her parents dropped the hammer on her and not her sneaky sister for starting the whole fight.
Jessica figured a nice nap during homeroom would get the thought of no TV for a week out
of her head. Whenever the world felt wrong to her, she could always rely on getting a much beloved
nap in homeroom. Dropping her head onto her desk and closing her eyes, she attempted to shut out
the rest of the world. Unfortunately, her mind had different ideas. Much like last night, Jessica’s
mind drifted towards the slightly odd and slightly hyper Stephanie Hwang.
That always seemed to be the case when she met a girl that interested her. In fact, that was
partly what tipped Jessica off – she preferred a different kind of menu than most girls around her.
Well, most girls in Seoul, not SF. The other part that clued her in to her sexual preference was when
all the girls in junior high were talking about how hot Shinhwa was and fantasizing about getting
into a Fly to the Sky sandwich, she just could not understand what was so attractive about sweaty
emo guys wearing too much makeup. Nope, she was too busy thinking about how hot Hyori unnie
was and getting herself into a Fin.K.L. sandwich.
Once she finally made that rather obvious discovery, as expected, life became vastly
complicated. Jessica had quite casually and accidentally outed herself to her parents when they
were teasing her about one of her male friends. Annoyed by the constant implications, she quite
simply explained her preference of soft, clean girls over sticky, dirty boys. Suffice to say, her parents
were not exactly thrilled at the prospect of a teenage lesbian daughter. There were the usual stages
of denial and anger. At first they blamed her for being confused and tried everything from herbal
extracts, to counseling, even to acupuncture. How the last treatment could possibly work – she had
no idea, but she was certain they would have tried gene therapy if they could. Eventually her
parents turned to blaming each other and his or her lousy parenting skills. That got boring after a
few weeks so they settled upon blaming the city of San Francisco and the corrupting influence it
had on their daughter. They could only hope that they had taken gotten their younger daughter out
of the country before any serious damage was done to her psyche as well. It took two weeks for her
father to stop looking like he had failed his family, and it took her mother an additional week to
start talking civilly to her again. Her little sister had absolutely no idea what was going on during
the time, figuring Jessica had stolen their Dad’s credit card.
Once Jessica’s parents were able to rationally talk to their daughter again, it took another
two months of sharing, screaming, and crying before they could make any headway into their
broken relationship. Surprisingly, it was her little sister, Krystal who helped heal the rift. Her sister
was still in grade school and no one in the family wanted to drag her into the nasty battle that
Jessica and her parents were having. She seemed to be the check that kept the arguments from
getting too heated, preventing someone from accidentally crossing the line and saying something
that they all would regret. While her parents still could not understand her sexual orientation, they
honestly believed that she was not mentally disturbed. They knew that their daughter had been and
always will be their daughter. Jessica could still see the occasional looks of hurt and
All the Things You Are
6 | P a g e
disappointment in their eyes when they talked about their friends and relatives marrying their kids
off. As tough as it was for Jessica to see those injured looks, she knew that her parents still loved her,
and the fact that she had a roof to sleep under was a major testament to that.
Of course she was no fool to say anything about her homosexuality at school. Though she
went to a foreign school, it did not change the fact that she lived in a country that really did not
discuss the topic. The last thing Jessica wanted to do was to become some morbid internet news
headline about a girl committing suicide because of “grade depression.”
So here she was playing the role of typical high school girl, all the while thinking of this
comical and cute new girl she had just met. The best part about Stephanie, in Jessica’s opinion, was
her smile that seemed to output the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity necessary for time travel. The fact
that her eyes disappeared into tiny moons when she was generating the power was just icing on the
cake. Oh yes, the girl was definitely cute and definitely her type. There was just one problem.
Judging from the “conversation” she had with her yesterday, Stephanie Hwang did not appear to be
the sharpest tool in the shed. Not to mention the fact that she seemed to have the attention span of
a butterfly.
“Such a shame,” Jessica thought as she repositioned herself on her desk to get more
comfortable. It was time to end all thoughts of Stephanie Hwang and get back to what she did best,
sleep.
Fate, it would appear, had different ideas and somewhat of a nasty sense of humor as well.
Crash!
“Hey! Watch it!”
“Ah! I’m so sorr-WAUGH!”
Jessica cringed and slowly opened her eyes, praying that the familiar voice that was so
unceremoniously cut off did not belong to whom she thought it did. When she lifted her head, she
came across a sight she did not expect to see, not in a million years.
A pert derriere had been framed perfectly in her vision.
“Nice.” Apparently the proud owner of the resplendent rump had bumped into someone at
the door and had taken a spill face first, and buttocks out, onto the floor. It was one of the few times
Jessica was truly grateful for a seat in the front row. The tight tushie was soon replaced by the
embarrassed and pouting face of Stephanie Hwang.
All previous thoughts of embarrassment soon left her face when her eyes fell on Jessica. Her
face exploded into a dazzling smile as she exclaimed in an extremely high pitched voice, “Ohmigosh!
Hi Jess!”
“If she keeps smiling at me like that, I’m bound to get diabetes,” Jessica dryly thought. Jessica
merely gave a tight-lipped smile in response to the sugar-coated girl.
Stephanie was a hit her first day at school. Almost everyone fell for her bubbly, outgoing
personality. That didn’t stop her, however, from hanging around Jessica at every possible
opportunity. By the last period Jessica’s teeth were on edge and one poor boy made the mistake of
asking her for help to get to know the cute new girl.
Jessica slowly turned towards the dimwitted boy and unleashed the full force of her icy gaze,
chilling his blood and anybody who happened to be passing by. She slowly and murderously
pronounced each word, “Get. Bent.”
Jessica watched in satisfaction as the boy quickly left the room looking like he had wet his
pants.
Stephanie soon appeared looking slightly bewildered as she joined Jessica at the back of the
room. “Hey, I-I think a guy just wet himself out there.”
Jessica could only smirk.
Hoping to get through the class without Stephanie talking her ear off, Jessica folded her
arms and promptly dropped her head on them, falling asleep almost instantly. It was a gift.
All the Things You Are
7 | P a g e
She woke up to some scratching noise. The teacher was still talking so she had somehow
managed to sleep midway through the lecture without getting caught. Jessica turned her bleary
eyes toward the scratching sound that woke her up. The source came from a pink pen scribbling
notes into her notebook.  Confused, she turned her head and found Stephanie doing her best to
reach over and scribble in the notes.  Always one to appreciate the simple things in life, Jessica
paused to take in the sight. Stephanie had her body leaning halfway over her desk, precariously
tipping it over, while her tongue was partially sticking out in concentration of maintaining her
balancing act while taking notes. Feeling eyes on her, Stephanie looked down and smiled at Jessica
before extricating herself from her awkward position.
Jessica returned an awkward smile. “Well, I’ll give her points for being a sweet girl,” she
grudgingly admitted in her mind. Jessica looked at the notes that Stephanie had so diligently taken
and blinked. The entire section was written in a pink ink so bright that she had to squint to read it.
To make matters worse, Stephanie doodled the word “sleepyhead” at the top and covered the entire
page with random hearts, butterflies, and other sickeningly sweet woodland creatures. Jessica
sighed. She could not distinguish a sonnet from a squirrel. It was Jessica’s turn to feel eyes on her
and she turned to see Stephanie still smiling at her, looking expectantly. Not wanting to hurt the
poor girl’s feelings, Jessica simply forced a smile, though to some people it may have looked like she
was getting her teeth pulled. Fortunately, Stephanie took the gesture at face value.
At the end of the final period Stephanie got a hold of Jessica who, just moments before, had
been able to borrow the class notes from one of her friends. Jessica quickly hid the notes from sight
and braced herself for the question she expected was coming.
“Jess! Do you want to go to the studio together?”
As Jessica took a breath to give an excuse, she was interrupted by a snide voice behind her.
“Oh! So the new girl is a wannabe diva like Ice Queen here!”
Jessica turned around with a scowl on her face. “I’m sorry were you saying something Ellen?
My ears are bad, they have trouble picking up bitch.”
“It’s Eh-LANE, Icey, remember that.”
Jessica resisted the urge to slam her books into the smug girl’s face. Ellen, or Eh-LANE, as
she now liked to pronounce her name after watching some French TV movie, was the daughter of
an employee at the U.S. embassy. Apparently she felt that it gave her enough reason to act like
royalty at school. In reality, she just came off as a prima donna with an atomic wedgie.
“Whatever ELLEN. Just go away.”
Ellen bristled at Jessica’s dismissive remarks. Ellen had never liked the girl from day one.
Jessica would always roll her eyes when she was talking about her new clothes or boyfriends. And
last year, she committed the most unforgivable sin. THE Brendan Kim had a thing for that sleepy
cow and not HER! To make matters worse, Jessica had absolutely NO interest and turned him down!
That made Jessica the worst kind of worst in Ellen’s mind. Trying a different tactic, the vindictive
girl turned her attention to the fresh meat. “So you’re the new girl that all the guys are going ga-ga
for.” She turned a critical eye up and down Stephanie. Jessica growled at the way Ellen was sizing
Stephanie up.
“Calm down Miss Icey, this is between me and newbie here.” Ellen began walking around
Stephanie, talking about her as if she wasn’t there. “A stumpy, tan little thing, isn’t she? A bit chunky
too.” She stopped her pacing when she reached to the front of Stephanie. “Your parents must have
been disappointed. If I was your mother I would have-“
SLAP.
Jessica could only watch in shock as Stephanie smartly slapped Ellen across the face.
Truthfully, she had been about ready to do something similar, maybe close-fisted.
Ellen looked more shocked than hurt by the slap and was ready to start yelling at the girl
when Stephanie spoke in a menacing tone. “What gives you the right to talk about someone’s
parents…someone’s mother like that?”
All the Things You Are
8 | P a g e
Startled by the ferocity of the words, Ellen could only stutter and step backwards as
Stephanie glared at her with fierce eyes. “Are you that petty that you would start verbally abusing a
person you never met before, just get under the skin of someone else? Look at yourself, so puffed up
in your own self-importance. How many designer labels are you wearing? Make you feel special?”
Stephanie took a step towards Ellen, making the taller girl flinch. “I don’t feel like dealing
with superficial airheads like you anymore, beat it.”
Stephanie maintained her proximity to Ellen, never breaking her stare, daring the other girl
to challenge her. The standoff did not last long as five seconds later, Ellen bid a hasty retreat, her
pride permanently damaged.
Jessica was sure Ellen would not be bothering either of them for at least a year. “There’s
some steel under that cute skin,” Jessica thought. “She’s probably a lot sharper than I give her credit
for too,” she guiltily admitted to herself.
Jessica turned to congratulate Stephanie on her victory but stopped short when she noticed
tears had replaced the anger in the girl’s eyes. “Stephanie,” she hesitantly spoke, “are you okay?”
“…no one’s allowed…”
“What was that?” Jessica moved closer.
“No one is allowed to talk about my parents, my mother, that way. She was the greatest
person in the world.”
Immediately putting two and two together, Jessica impulsively embraced the girl in a
sympathetic hug, placing one hand on Stephanie’s head. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Jerks like Ellen
don’t deserve any attention, okay?”
Stephanie sniffed and nodded.
“Now, why don’t we get over to the studio? I really want to get out of this classroom since
everyone is staring at us right now.”
Stephanie immediately looked around and flushed at all the eyes staring at the two of them,
standing at the back of the room locked in a rather intimate hug. Oddly enough, neither girl thought
of breaking the embrace.
Looking into Jessica’s eyes, still blushing at all the attention focused on them, she nodded
and replied with a bright, moon-eyed smile, “Mm-hmm!”
Jessica laughed at the response and finally disengaged herself from Stephanie, still holding
one of her hands as they left for the subway. She took one more glance at the girl, enjoying the blush
that played across her cheeks. “I can see why pink is her favorite color,” Jessica amusingly thought.
CHAPTER 2:   EV’RY TIME WE SAY GO ODBYE
“Stop!” Jessica exclaimed.
“Again?” Tiffany whined. “What is it THIS time?”
“It’s been the same thing EVERY time! You keep coming in too early and too flat!”
Tiffany shook her head in frustration, letting her short hair fly in every direction while
Jessica collapsed on the couch, heaving a giant sigh. The pair had been at blows for the past two
hours and it seemed inevitable that by the end of the night, one girl would exit the room through
the door while the other, through the window.
“Tell me, Fany,” Jessica pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose, trying to ease the
throbbing in her head. “Did you have time to practice this song when I gave it to you on Monday?”
“Of course! I…spent some time going over it.”
Jessica did not like the sound of that pause. “I don’t mean just listening to the mp3 when
you’re about to go to sleep.”
“…”
Jessica’s right eye twitched in irritation. That was the final straw. She picked herself up and
crossed her arms. “Tiffany! We have to perform this song on the radio tomorrow! Were you going to
just wing it?”
Tiffany matched Jessica’s posture and volume. “Of course not! That’s why I’m here
practicing with you!”
“The problem is that this is your FIRST practice and it’s the day BEFORE the program! You
know it’s going to be bora, right?”
“Yes, I do! I’m not a total idiot, you know!”
“Then stop acting like one! You don’t know how frustrating it is to be practicing this song for
three days and then find out the night before that your partner hasn’t practiced at all!”
“It’s not like I DIDN’T want to! You know how busy it’s been for me this week.”
“Oh yes, the GREAT and FAMOUS Fany!” Jessica grandly threw up her arms. “So busy being a
singer that she doesn’t have time to actually SING!”
Jessica bit her tongue as soon as the words had left her mouth. She knew she had gone too
far. Tiffany’s face registered shock and immediately paled, but the girl did her best to maintain the
glare and anger in her eyes, eyes that were beginning to mist with tears.
“Tiffany, I didn’t-”
Tiffany immediately spun around, hiding her face.  Jessica sighed. She really did it this time.
Small, gasping breaths could be heard coming from Tiffany. The girl was crying.
Tiffany fought valiantly against the tears, but it was a losing battle. Deep inside, she knew
Jessica was frustrated and did not mean the words she had said, but that didn’t make them any
easier for her to hear. Jessica had the uncanny ability to control Tiffany’s emotions with just a few
words. Now with a few moments to herself, she realized that she had let Jessica down. In truth, she
was so caught up with all her meetings and SoSoGaBek that it was more like she forgot to budget in
the time to practice. And while she was completely absorbed in her own commitments, Jessica had
taken the time out of her own busy schedule to practice for the duet, THEIR duet.
Tiffany sniffed and spoke softly, her back still towards Jessica. “Hey Jess,” she began, “I’m
sorry for not practicing. I was so busy with my schedule that I did the worst thing.  I forgot about
the group, I forgot about you.” Tiffany squeezed her eyes shut and raised her voice, “I seriously
want to sing this song with you!  Honest!”
Jessica blinked in surprise. Why would she not believe her? Her mind drew a blank.
Not hearing a response, Tiffany continued, “Honestly, I was REEEALLY, really happy when
you told manager oppa that we could do a duet for the program. I thought it was a chance to spend
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
10 | P a g e
some more time together and have fun like we did back in the day.” Tiffany began to raise her voice
again, “Please don’t think I was trying to avoid you! I WANT to spend more time with you! I mean it!
I- “
Tiffany stopped short as she felt a pair of arms firmly circle her waist and a soft body press
against her back. “Don’t be sorry, dummy.” Jessica whispered softly as she pressed her cheeks
against Tiffany’s hair, closing her eyes and taking in the scent of Tiffany’s shampoo. “I’m the one
who should be apologizing. I should have never said those things to you because they’re not true. I
know you’re working really hard and you wouldn’t flake on me, ever.”
Jessica felt absolutely miserable. She finally realized why Tiffany desperately did not want
Jessica to think that she was avoiding her. Apparently, even after all these years, Tiffany was trying
to restore their relationship back to when they had first met. She was still hurt and confused by the
rapid deterioration of their relationship. A deterioration that was completely Jessica’s doing. Jessica
wondered how she had not noticed it before.
“I’m so sorry, Fany,” Jessica apologized again. “Jessica Jung,” she thought to herself, “you are
one big idiot.”
- 2004 (3 months after Jessica and Tiffany’s first meeting)
The mall was at capacity on Saturdays, but that did not intimidate the two teenage girls as
they expertly weaved through the crowd.
“Hey, Jess! Wait up! There’s a sticker photo booth over there!”
Jessica smiled and shook her head in disbelief. For the past hour Stephanie had been
running around the mall at breakneck speed. They had come with a third, Taeyeon, who happened
to be one of Stephanie’s roommates as well as Jessica’s singing class partner. Taeyeon was a short
girl whose cuteness was firmly rooted in the fact that she acted like a little boy and old woman at
the same time. Jessica had to suppress a growl each time old woman in Taeyeon publicly mothered
over Stephanie, but despite Jessica’s best efforts, it was impossible not to like the slightly loony girl.
Taeyeon was not with the pair at the moment, as she dropped out early due to Stephanie’s freakish
shopping stamina. She had plopped herself onto a massage chair display, ignoring the dirty look
from the salesman and told the other two to fetch her when they were done.
The three months she had spent with Stephanie had completely lifted her spirits. Training
was no longer tedious, her parents less embarrassing, and heaven forbid, her sister slightly less
annoying. The change was so sudden and complete that her parents initially did not know what to
make of it and assumed the worst, almost expecting her to tell them that she was pregnant. Jessica
was not sure if it was simply that Stephanie’s sunny personality had rubbed off on her, or if it was
something more. All she knew was that being around the girl made her light-headed.
Jessica headed towards the excited Stephanie, who was jumping and waving at her to hurry
while guarding the booth from being used by anyone else. She paused for a moment as she saw a
beautiful young woman with wavy, honey-blonde hair, possibly in her early twenties, late teens,
sitting on a nearby bench with a drink in hand, staring at her with an amused expression. Shrugging
off the woman’s gaze, Jessica quickly joined Stephanie in the sticker booth. Once inside, she enjoyed
the sight of a girl looking so serious, one would have thought she was selecting the next president of
Korea and not sticker frames.
“Steph, no one uses these things anymore,” Jessica pointed out. “We have cell phone
cameras for this kind of stuff. I swear, sometimes you act like such an old lady.”
Stephanie immediately puffed out her cheeks in protest. “I am not! Besides, cell phones
don’t have these cool frames!” She then triumphantly selected a photo frame. “Now hurry up and
give me a smile!”
Jessica gave her a look and then proceeded to smile.
“Eh? Are you serious? What in the world IS that?”
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
11 | P a g e
“A smile.”
“C’mon Jess,” Stephanie wheedled. “I’ve seen you smile before. Seriously…pleeease?”
Jessica absolutely hated puppy dog looks. She wished they were banned by the Geneva
Conventions. They were dirty, unfair, and when wielded by Stephanie, absolutely lethal.
“Fine,” Jessica relented. She looked straight at Stephanie and opened up into an easy smile.
“Uhh..th-that’s good.” Stephanie looked away as she set the timer to hide the blush that had
crept along her cheeks.
Jessica’s smile increased when she noticed Stephanie’s reaction, filing it away in her
growing mental catalog of ways to make Stephanie blush.
Once the girls had collected their sticker photos, Stephanie guided the pair to an adjacent
store where she had spied a blue one piece by the window. Nothing really interested Jessica so she
decided to wait for Stephanie while she was in the changing rooms.
“Your little friend has quite the energy, doesn’t she?”
Jessica turned around at the melodic voice addressing her. The honey-blonde haired woman
with the amused expression from earlier had followed Jessica and Stephanie into the store.
“Excuse me?” Jessica asked, slightly confused as to why this woman would approach her.
“It’s a shame she’s completely unaware of your feelings.”
Jessica immediately paled at the comment. There was no malice or sarcasm in the
foreigner’s tone as far as she could detect, but that didn’t make Jessica feel any more comfortable.
“It’s okay,” the woman reassured in her confident voice. “I’m not here to cause you any
trouble. I was just sitting around when I noticed you and your friend walking by. I can tell you really
care for her.” Noticing Jessica’s horrified expression, she gave a rich laugh, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing
obvious. I’m just more attuned to these sorts of things. The way you touch her shoulder, how you
brush your hair behind your ear and bite your lip when she gets close to you.”
Unfortunately, those comments did little to calm Jessica’s mind. She had no idea she was
giving off so many subconscious body signals! Jessica did not know what to make of this eerily
perceptive woman telling her such things.
As if reading the younger girl’s mind, the woman responded, “There’s something about you
that catches my eye.” Noticing Jessica’s confused expression, she bluntly clarified, “You’re cute and
you interest me.”
Jessica blushed and the woman laughed her musical laugh again. “Most definitely a cutie.”
“I just wanted to give you this.” She handed Jessica a scrap of paper with a cell phone
number on it. “Give me a call if you decide to give up on your little friend. I’m usually in the café by
the north entrance on Tuesdays and Saturdays.”
Jessica could only stare as the confident and enigmatic woman turned and sauntered out of
the store. Stephanie came out a few minutes later, greeted by the sight of Jessica staring at the
entrance of the store. “Jess?” she asked with a quirked eyebrow. “You okay?”
Jessica blinked and forced all thoughts of the strange woman out of her head. “Uh, yeah, you
ready to go? We should probably fetch Taeyeon before she becomes glued to those massage
recliners.”
Stephanie immediately smiled and nodded an affirmative. As the pair continued walking
down the mall, they passed by a giant monitor that playing a music video.
“Oh!” Stephanie exclaimed. “Look Jess! Dong Bang Shin Ki oppas!”
Jessica frowned while Stephanie continued, oblivious of her friend’s expression. “Can you
believe that we get to see and talk to them in person? We must be some of the luckiest girls in the
world. Gawd…SM should stand for Sooooo Many hot guys!”
It was at this point that Jessica tuned Stephanie out. This was the one complication in their
relationship. The girl was pretty much boy crazy. Jessica had assumed that she would be able to
deal with the calf eyes and swooning over idols that was symptomatic of the average hot-blooded
teenage girl. In fact, it had never bothered her in junior high when her previous silent crushes did
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
12 | P a g e
the same. But for some reason, Jessica felt that Stephanie always swooned a bit too hard and
crooned a bit too loud. She squeezed her fists as she felt a dull pain in her chest. The feeling of paper
being crushed brought her attention to one of her hands. She was still holding the phone number of
the unnamed woman. She unfurled the crumpled scrap and smoothed it out. Right above the
numbers was a name written in English in an elegant, flowing script. Karen. Jessica neatly folded the
strip and placed it securely in her pocket. Without looking back, she continued walking. “Stephanie,
hurry up, you’re going to be left behind.”
“Huh?” Stephanie stopped her monologue when she realized Jess was not next to her, but
ten feet away and counting. “Ya! Jess! Wait up!”

Jessica took a deep breath and opened the café door. She honestly had no idea why she was
here. Stephanie had called her earlier in the morning to hang out. Since that day at the mall, it had
been too painful for her to be around Stephanie so she promptly made an excuse of staying home.
Jessica could still here Stephanie’s disappointed tone as she said goodbye. When Jessica closed her
cell phone, she noticed the date on the display said Sunday. After a moment’s hesitation, she quickly
changed her clothes and headed for the mall.
She now stood in the middle of the café, immensely regretting her impulsive decision. She
chided herself. There was no way to tell if the woman was serious or just playing a practical joke on
her. Why did she even come without calling the phone number first? She didn’t even know what
time the woman normally came. Feeling extremely idiotic at the moment, Jessica wheeled an about
face and started towards the door.
“Hello dear, didn’t imagine seeing you so soon.”
Jessica quickly turned towards the voice and a familiar rich laughter followed. “Jumpy today,
aren’t we?”
Sitting at one of the small round tables by the side of the café was the honey-blonde woman.
On her table was an espresso along with an open laptop and a few papers. She closed the laptop and
gestured at the empty seat across from her, a warm smile on her lips.
Jessica nervously smoothed her jeans before sitting down. “H-hi Karen,” she managed to
stammer out.
The woman known as Karen smiled and said, “Well I’m glad you could read English. I
suppose I could have tried to write Karen in Korean, but I never liked how forced it felt.” Jessica
silently agreed as she recalled the initial awkwardness of writing her American name in Korean.
While she preferred her American name over her Korean one, it just felt strange not writing it in an
English alphabet. She quietly watched as Karen called the waiter over to order two iced teas,
glancing at Jessica for her approval. Jessica could only nod as she was still not confident enough to
speak beyond a simple hello.
The pair continued to wait in silence until their drinks were served when Karen finally
spoke with her ever-present grin, “I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage, dear.” Jessica looked at
her in confusion. Karen grinned wider, “You know my name, but I’m afraid I have no idea what
yours is. Please don’t tell me it’s Frank.”
Jessica coughed as she attempted to deny the charge while iced tea was still going down her
throat. After a few more seconds of coughing in front of the amused woman, Jessica, red faced,
responded, “Jessica, Jessica Jung.”
“Well Jessica, Jessica Jung,” she continued, “I take it your little friend wasn’t quite interested
in what you had to offer?”
“N-no,” Jessica shifted uncomfortably, “I-I mean it’s not that she wasn’t interes-I mean that’s
not to say she WAS either. I-“ She closed her eyes and thought, “Gawd, could I BE a bigger spazz?”
Collecting her thoughts, Jessica finally responded, “I just didn’t feel like destroying a
friendship by forcing my feelings on her.”
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
13 | P a g e
Karen’s eyes clouded for a moment. “You may be surprised, my dear Jessica, of what life
offers you if you just give it the chance. If you are too sure of failure, you will never get the chance,
and the most precious of things can be snatched away from you before they are even yours.”
All playfulness was gone from the older woman’s voice. All Jessica could hear was regret
and wistfulness. Karen quickly caught herself and smile ruefully at Jessica. “No worries, dear, just
remembering some bad events from long ago.” She took a sip of her iced tea with a wry smile, her
sarcastic and playful demeanor returned. “At the very least, time tends to soften the blow of your
more humiliating mistakes.” She paused a second before adding with a thoughtful look, “Well, not
the most idiotic ones I guess.”
Jessica looked in amazement at this girl who could not be older than twenty-one. “You make
yourself sound like you’re eighty-five.”
“Deary,” she addressed Jessica amusingly, “with the lifestyle you’ve chosen to live, I
wouldn’t be surprised if you sound just like me in another five to ten years.”
Not sure of what to say after that, Jessica leaned over the table to sip at her tea with her
hands in her lap. Karen looked on and giggled. “So cute,” she muttered. Jessica blushed brightly and
Karen giggled louder.

For the next two months, Jessica spent most of the week meeting up with Karen after her
training as well as most Saturdays. Originally from Vancouver, Karen D’Aubigne was a studying
abroad over at Ewha Woman’s University for the fall semester. Jessica enjoyed every minute she
spent with the dry-witted, sarcastic woman. There were so many little things about the woman that
Jessica, like any young girl in love, simply adored. From the way she walked down the street with
her shoulder bag, to the way she stirred her coffee.  
Since time was a finite matter, all of it that Jessica spent with Karen had to come from
somewhere. That meant the time that Jessica usually spent with Stephanie slowly diminished. It
eventually reduced to the point where the only time the two girls spent together outside of class
and training was on the subway ride when they were heading to training after classes. Even then,
conversation during the transit was light as Jessica was usually lost in thought, either trying to plan
an outing with Karen or figuring out what sort of gift to give her.
“Hey Jess, you got some time?” Stephanie managed to track down Jessica sitting at a bench
during lunch. It was pretty deserted where she was sitting since it was December so most of the
sane students stayed in the warm cafeteria or their classrooms.
“Huh?” Jessica looked up from a brochure of a local museum that she wanted to go with
Karen-unnie.
Stephanie sat down near Jessica and began to nervously fidget her hands. Jessica soon
started feeling nervous as well, but her nerves were not a result of Stephanie’s nerves, but rather
her proximity. It bothered Jessica that she still reacted like this around Stephanie even when she
had been seeing less of her, not to mention the fact that she had a girlfriend.
Stephanie, obviously trying to calm her nerves, started rambling. “Man, I don’t know why
you’re out here, Jess,” she began, using Jessica’s nickname. “It’s so cold I think it’s going to snow. I
absolutely LOVE snow. My family and I would go on yearly ski trips back in California, but still, that
was only once a year. What I would give to actually see first snow. Wouldn’t that be something?”
She turned to face Jessica with a smile full of sincerity and child-like delight that Jessica found it
hard to breath.
“Y-yeah,” Jessica managed when she had found her voice and decided to get the
conversation back on track. “So, what was it you wanted to say?”
“Oh…well…,” Stephanie forced herself to say the words. “Well, I was just wondering if you
were…okay, ya know?”
“What do you mean?” Jessica furrowed her brow.
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
14 | P a g e
“Well, it’s just that you’ve been kinda disappearing on me. I don’t ever see you anymore. I
was just wondering if things were okay with you, or, um, ya know, if I maybe, ya know? Did
something?”
Jessica looked into Stephanie’s worried eyes as she tried her best to prevent her heart from
melting. She had Karen-unnie now and she was not supposed to be acting this way towards
Stephanie.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Jessica replied as nonchalantly as she could.
“Really?” Tiffany was nonplussed by Jessica’s seemingly indifferent response. “Because…I
kinda thought that, well, you know, that I had done something…” Tiffany trailed off, afraid to
complete the sentence.
Jessica weighed her next words carefully. She knew that she could not continue being
around Stephanie while she was with Karen-unnie. The conflicting emotions that the flighty girl
stirred up in her were disturbing. She took a deep breath. This was it.
“Geez Steph, don’t get all emotional on me. What am I, your fiancé? I’ve just been busy with
some things and hanging out with some old friends, no big, ‘kay? You gotta admit, with our
schedules I can’t always be goofing off with you, right?”
The look of shock on Stephanie’s face was quite noticeable as Jessica had so casually and
callously disregarded and marginalized her feelings. When the initial shock wore off, she could be
seen blinking back tears.
“Hehe, yeah, you’re totally right,” Stephanie forced with a shaky voice. “I guess I was just
being a little crazy, my late nights must be catching up to me.”
Jessica felt like throwing up
Still, she kept up the charade and continued with level voice, “Was that all you wanted?
‘Cause we better get to our classes.”
“Oh, um yeah, let’s go.”
Both girls silently headed back into the building where they had their separate classes. Not
wanting to completely sever her connections with the girl for reasons that Jessica honestly did not
want to know or acknowledge, she called out to Stephanie. “Oh! Say, did you want to get together
this Sunday? There were a couple of things I wanted to get at the mall and we can um…you
know…check out the guys.” Jessica mentally kicked herself for being so stupid.
Stephanie gave a weak smile and replied, “Yeah, sure.” She then turned and walked down
the hall to her class.
Staring at Stephanie’s retreating form, Jessica knew that their relationship had been broken,
and it was her fault.  

After classes were over, Jessica couldn’t wait to see her Karen-unnie. She had felt miserable
after her talk with Stephanie, and by the end of the day, she was thoroughly disgusted with herself.
When she arrived at the same café they had been meeting since the first day, her face visibly
brightened as she saw her dear unnie waving to her from the corner of the room. Jessica quickly
made her way to the table and brightly said “Hi Karen-unnie!”
Jessica had ended up calling Karen unnie by accident during one of their walks and noticed
the amused expression on her girlfriend’s face. She explained that as a white girl growing up in
Canada, “unnie” was never a word used to describe her. It was a nice feeling, she admitted. Jessica
was absolutely delighted and called her Karen-unnie or unnie from that point on.
“Oh unnie, here, I made something for you!” Jessica dug into her bag and pulled out a box
wrapped in a handkerchief. “It’s just kimbap, but I thought you might like to have some while you’re
studying for your finals.”
Jessica tried her best to sound as casual as possible. Making them, however, had been
anything but. She had spent three hours the night before trying to arrange and successfully roll just
one. It was just problem after problem. First, there was the cucumber problem. Jessica absolutely
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
15 | P a g e
refused to handle cucumbers, so to make up for it she put in hot dogs instead. Once that problem
was solved, she was soon faced with another one. The seaweed kept breaking and did not close
completely. She correctly assumed it was because the whole carrots and jerky were making the roll
too large. To remedy that, the girl brilliantly decided to use overlapping layers of seaweed pasted
together with peanut butter. Her mother had nearly fainted when she saw her daughter’s final
creation. She quickly scooted Jessica out of the kitchen and spent the next thirty minutes making
kimbap. Her mother silently wondered why she could not have a gay son instead of a gay daughter.
Judging from the TV shows she saw back in the U.S., she reasoned that at the very least, gay men
could cook and dress nicely.
Karen smiled at the girl’s thoughtfulness and the two spent the next hour chatting about
mundane events that had happened since they last saw each other, which had only been two days
ago. Jessica then began to mention the museum that she had wanted to go see with her unnie. “I
figured once your finals were over, you and I could go over to the museum and-“
“Darling,” Karen interrupted, “don’t get too excited just yet.”
“Huh? Why? What do you mean?”
Karen sighed. It was time to tell her now, she thought. “You’ve put this off long enough. For
better or for worse it needs to be done.”
Karen cleared her throat before looking sadly at Jessica. “I’m going to be going home to
Vancouver once finals are over.”
Jessica was momentarily shocked, but she recovered quickly. “Oh, but you’ll be back again
for the spring, right?”
“My program was only for the fall semester, remember?” Karen sympathetically looked on
as she saw the realization slowly dawn across Jessica’s face. “Oh Jessica dear, please be strong,” she
silently prayed.
“B-but…but,” Jessica stammered, panic showing in her eyes. “When WILL you be coming
back?”
“I honestly don’t know, not for a few years, if ever again, I guess.”
“WHAT?”
“Honey, don’t shout, people are starting to look.” Jessica quickly glanced around, and sure
enough, a number of heads had started to look their way.
“But what about US?" Jessica pressed. Her breath was starting to shorten.
“Darling,” Karen said softly, “if you’re truly honest with yourself, you’ll realize that there IS
no us.”
“What do you mean? I LOVE you.”
Karen sadly shook her head with a sorrowful smile. “No you don’t. You may enjoy my
company, you may like me, you may even be infatuated with me, but no, you’re not in love with me,
trust me.”
“I…I don’t understand what’s going on...” The room was now spinning around Jessica.
Karen decided that it was time to tell her the entire story.
“Honey, I’m going to tell you a bit about my past okay?” Jessica’s eyes widened. It had been
understood to her that Karen’s past was pretty much off limits.
“I’ll just give you the very basics since it plays out like a soap opera, or even a drama for that
matter.” She closed her eyes to take a deep breath before continuing. “When I was about your age,
starting high school, I had a very close friend named Victoria. She was slender, average size, and had
these exquisite sparkling eyes that kind of look like yours.”
Jessica swallowed, she did not like where this story was going.
“I was pretty much head over heels in love with her, which absolutely terrified me. I was
afraid of anybody discovering my feelings, let alone Vicky herself, so I tried putting some distance
between us. Vicky, of course, noticed and tried to confront me over the issue. To make an
EXTREMELY long story short, too many words were exchanged.” Karen paused as she recollected a
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
16 | P a g e
painful memory. “Do you know how miserable it feels when you emotionally hurt the one you love?
The look in her eyes still haunts me to this day.”
Jessica shuddered in acknowledgement, things were hitting way too close to home for her.
Reluctantly, Jessica asked, “So what…what happened after that?”
Karen had been staring at her hot cup of cocoa the entire time, but she finally looked up to
reveal tear stained eyes. Jessica gasped, it took all of her will to not let any of her tears fall as well.
The older woman shrugged and gave a grin, “I never saw her after that. I was so ashamed that I
went straight home and spent the whole night begging my parents to transfer me to a different
school until they relented.”
“There’s more though.” Karen briefly paused to wipe her eyes with a napkin and then
looked straight at Jessica.
“I have a boyfriend.”
This time a tear fell down Jessica’s face.
Not wanting to give up her momentum, Karen pressed on. “Last year, things were starting to
get serious, and I wasn’t sure if I loved him enough to be the woman he wanted me to be. I was
extremely confused and I knew a lot of it had to do with Vicky. I figured I needed to get away to sort
out my mind and it seemed almost poetic that there was an opening for a study abroad program in
Ewha. Vicky is Korean as I’m sure you figured, and I remembered all the stories she would tell me
about visiting her family during the summers and winters. So here I was, lonely girl in Seoul, trying
to make sense of my strange life when I ran into you. When I saw you at the mall I could have sworn
you were Vicky. You probably noticed the stupid grin I had on my face the first time you saw me.
And this…this is the part that I’m truly ashamed of. I thought that…well, if I could spend some time
with you…”
“It would be like you were going out with your “precious Vicky”” Jessica forced through
clenched teeth.
“Darling,” Karen begged, “I am truly sorry. I don’t know what was going through my head. I
just had this selfish notion that if I could spend time with you as if you were Vicky, I would be able
to get her out of my system and I could go back to my boyfriend and li ve the rest of my life in peace.”
This was all too much for Jessica. All she could do was stare at her fists on the table. They
were clenched so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Two soothing hands reached out and
began to massage each fist as Jessica looked up into the sincere eyes of her Brutus.
“You have to believe me when I say this,” Karen pleaded. “I admit at first I wanted to see you
as a substitute Vicky, but it was very apparent to me after our first few meetings that you would not
be anyone else but Jessica, wonderful Jessica. I have truly enjoyed our time together. In fact, I’m
certain that I was meant to come to Korea to meet you. I’m still not completely sure what I’m going
to do about my boyfriend, but for some reason, spending time with you has given me confidence
again.” Karen smiled as she spoke, “Honestly, it may be because while you look a bit like Vicky, you
remind me an awful lot of myself.”
Jessica was absolutely stunned at the smile that Karen gave her. Through their entire
acquaintance, all of her smiles had contained a touch of cynicism. It was as if she was expecting the
world to pull a mean joke on her at any minute. But at that moment, Jessica finally got to see her
unnie looking truly happy. Sensing the younger girl’s softening attitude, Karen pressed on. “So dear,
can you please forgive me?”
Jessica hesitantly nodded as Karen visibly relaxed and continued to stroke Jessica’s hands
for a few more minutes, allowing Jessica some silence for her to process everything.
“I think it’s time I better leave.”
Jessica understood the implicit goodbye and nodded, looking up at Karen and trying so hard
not to cry. Both girls slowly got up and headed outside to wait for a cab. The two silently waited at
the curb, holding hands and leaning against each other for warmth as well as an extended goodbye
hug. When the cab finally came, Jessica turned towards Karen and gave her a full, tight embrace,
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
17 | P a g e
pressing her face into the older woman’s shoulder. Karen stroked Jessica’s head as the younger girl
muttered through Karen’s jacket. “You better eat all my kimbap, unnie, or I’ll never forgive you.”
Karen responded with a light musical laugh, one that Jessica would always remember. “You
betcha.”
When Karen got into the cab, both girls waved a final goodbye. Jessica stared at the cab as it
slowly faded out of her vision. Unaware of how long she had been standing there, a wet feeling on
her right cheek snapped her out of her trance. She raised her hand to only find water on her face.
Looking up she realized that it had begun snowing. The only thought she could think of was that she
hoped Stephanie knew. She did not want the girl to miss her first snow in Korea.
After a few lingering moments Jessica trudged back to the café and sat back down at the
same table. Not thinking of anything else, she laid her cheek down to rest and listened to the sounds
of cheesy Christmas songs play in the background. She wasn’t sure when she started crying, but by
the time she realized it, the table was already wet.

Considering what had happened to her, the crying did not last long, maybe ten minutes or
so. When Jessica felt she could cry no more, she simply stared at the wall, her cheek still on the table.
A tray of food had suddenly appeared in her field of vision and a dark skinned girl quickly
occupied the seat across from her.
“Waahhhh this café has THE best chicken salad! Everywhere else I go, they always use fatty
dark meat! But not here! No no, only the good white meat!”
Without lifting her head, Jessica shifted her gaze to look at the owner of the chicken salad.
She asked softly, “What are you doing here, Kwon Yuri?”
The dark skinned girl known as Yuri looked at Jessica in surprise. “I just told you, the
chicken salad here is TOP notch.”
Jessica slowly pulled herself to an upright position and lightly rubbed her eyes. “You know
what I mean.”
Yuri looked at her salad and nervously began picking at it. “Well,” she began, “I saw you here
with that foreign girl a few weeks ago so I was a bit worried and kinda curious to what you were
doing.”
“So you’ve been following me to this café and eavesdropping for the past couple of weeks?”
“No! I mean that is, I didn’t MEAN to eavesdrop. It’s just that you two looked like such an
odd pair that I couldn’t help but be worried for you! I was afraid you had gotten involved in some
foreign scam or something.”
Yuri nervously glanced up from her salad to gauge Jessica’s temper. She saw Jessica sitting
with her arms crossed and an expressionless face. When their eyes met, Jessica ordered, “Keep
going.”
Yuri winced. “Well, the first time I saw you it was totally by accident. I was sitting only two
tables behind you, so I was able to overhear pretty much everything you said. When I realized that
you were on a date with that woman, I was going to go and report you. I didn’t want you to give
everyone else problems.”
“So what changed your mind?”
“Well,” Yuri struggled for a moment to find the words. “It was your expression.”
“My expression?” Jessica arched her eyebrow.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way! But you always seem kind of surly and disinterested.
So seeing your face so happy and… free, I guess, I just thought that was a nice face for you to have,
and I felt guilty trying to take that away. So I followed you the past couple of weeks just to verify my
claims.”
“And the result of your ‘research’ was?”
Yuri smiled, “That under that stiff, cold layer you‘re a surprisingly sweet girl who should be
allowed to smile more.”
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
18 | P a g e
Jessica blinked. Few people had ever taken the time to actually get to know her, and she was
pretty sure the list would be a lot shorter if they knew how different she was. Jessica had only
talked to Yuri a few times, and while she knew her to be a pretty generous individual, she figured
she was the typical good, conservative, Korean daughter. But here she was, comforting Jessica as
she just had her world turned upside down by her supposed girlfriend.
Yuri put down her fork and looked everywhere but at Jessica. “Look, I-I just want to get
something clear. I’m not…you know…that way. I’m not…umm…trying to catch you on the rebound
or anything…so don’t get any ideas, okay?” Yuri finally looked directly at Jessica, “I’m pretty sure I
won’t ever really understand why you … DO…the things you do. And I’ll be honest, it still kind of
grosses me out a bit...”
Jessica smiled softly at the sincere comment, something she didn’t think she would ever be
able to do again. She could tell that Yuri was still struggling to come to grips with knowing someone
who was gay. But it was obvious that the girl was trying her very best.
“Sounds fine to me, but just one question,” Jessica’s eyes took on a mischievous glint.
“What?” Yuri said, a bit nervous after seeing the smirk on Jessica’s face.
“You must pass a lot of auditions, right?”
The room went quiet.
“I-I’m not sure what you mean,” Yuri asked rubbing the warmth back into her arms.
“Well,” Jessica explained matter-of-factly, “you just seem to have so much confidence in your
natural beauty that you think just because I like girls, I should be instantly attracted to you.”
Yuri blushed in embarrassment as she realized what she had done.
Jessica smiled and got up, “Don’t worry about it. C’mon, let’s get out of here. I feel like some
hot sweet potatoes and I think I saw a cart down the street, my treat.” Jessica paused as if
remembering something. “Oh! But don’t worry, it’s just a friendship potato, so don’t read too much
into it.”
Yuri looked up at Jessica with a mock scowl on her face, her blush ratcheting up another
level. “Yah! Don’t kick me while I’m down! I’m sorry okay?!”
Jessica just laughed as Yuri got up. “Aren’t you going to take your salad?” Jessica asked as
she noticed Yuri had left it on the table untouched.
“Nah, the salads here suck. Oh! Afterwards, can we stop by the supermarket? Do you like ma
by any chance?”
Jessica was not sure if she heard the girl right but nodded anyways as the two girls stepped
out of the café into the snowy evening, chatting about the pointless things that friends do.

Jessica was so thankful for Yuri’s friendship. It was nice having a friend that knew of her
sexuality, and it was nicer that it wasn’t even an issue with Yuri. For once, Jessica felt the simple joy
of having a close friend to confide in, it felt liberating. But there was still the damage she had done
to her friendship with the girl now known as Tiffany. The pain of Karen was still sharp in her
memory, making Jessica reluctant to address the problem. By the time Jessica realized that she
needed talk to Tiffany, so much time had passed that she simply did not know how to bring up the
subject again. The result was an awkward and strained relationship between the two. Throughout
high school, they occasionally talked and laughed together, but only in group settings. Even when
they became a part of Girls’ Generation, there was still a subtle undercurrent of awkwardness that
seemed to amplify whenever they were alone together.
“Umm…Jess? Apology accepted?” Tiffany had repeated the same phrase for a third time. The
spaced out girl had been silently holding her in a tight embrace, comfortably pressed against her
back for the past five minutes.
Jessica shook herself out of her trance and embarrassingly broke the hug, immediately
missing the warm body that had been against hers. Tiffany turned around, tilted her head, and
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
19 | P a g e
looked quizzically at Jessica in a silent question. The innocent and familiar look made Jessica’s chest
pound. She realized that she very much wanted what Tiffany wanted as well. They both wanted
their relationship back to the three months of closeness they had shared those four long years ago.
In order to do that, Jessica knew she needed to apologize to Tiffany.
Jessica walked over and sat down on the couch, patting the cushion next to her in invitation.
Tiffany was not quite sure what Jessica was doing. It appeared to her that Jessica wanted to say
something but seemed almost too afraid to. Not willingly to scare away what Jessica wanted to say,
she quietly accepted her friend’s invitation and silently waited for her to speak.
“I-I guess things have been pretty…awkward… between us for a while, huh?” Jessica closed
her eyes. She had finally addressed the white elephant that had been sitting in the room with them
for the past four years.
Tiffany’ eyes popped in surprise. She had not expected Jessica to actually talk about that.
The two had danced around the subject before, obliquely referring to it, but never so directly.
Before she had a chance to speak, Jessica turned to look straight at Tiffany with such pained eyes
that her heart stopped.
“I’m so sorry, Tiffany.”
Jessica took Tiffany’s hand in her own and placed them in her lap. “About that time back
then,” she continued. “I…I was involved with…someone at the time…a foreign college student.”
Tiffany gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“I was ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know about this…relationship.” Jessica tried to
speak carefully, not wanting to lie to Tiffany, but not yet ready to tell her everything. “The point was
that I was in a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Being stupid me, I thought at the time that I
was in love with…this person.” Jessica gave a short laugh. “Now that I think back to it, it wasn’t love.
It was probably more infatuation with this confident, sexy, older person. In fact, our relationship
was more mo-…parent-daughter, than anything.”
Jessica looked up at Tiffany, making sure she was processing everything she had said so far.
Judging from her slightly confused face, it looked like it was going to be a close call. Jessica decided
to try and wrap it up. “I was basically so infatuated that I pushed away everyone close to me. I
thought I only needed that person. But in the end, the person was just using me to live out a fantasy
with an unrequited love.”
It was then that Tiffany finally found the words to speak. “That’s horrible! You should have
told me when that happened! I would have beaten him up!”
Jessica smiled at the response. “I was so ashamed of what I had done to you that I just
wanted to avoid you.”
“Still! How could he DO something like that to you! I oughta give him a swift kick in the
groin!” Tiffany was now on a roll.
Jessica couldn’t stop smiling now. “It’s okay, Fany. I don’t think it was intentional. We didn’t
part on horrible terms or anything, just…very sadly.” She then paused. “In fact, I think I’m glad it
happened.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Jessica replied. “Despite what happened, I still respect the person. Looking back I
realize how many things the person was trying to teach me. I think I’m much stronger now because
of that.”
Tiffany looked at Jessica in amazement before she suddenly smiled and tackled Jessica,
knocking her face up on the couch.
“Apology accepted!”
Jessica blinked in surprise. It took her a few moments to understand what Tiffany had just
said. One second she was looking at Tiffany’s mischievous grin and the next, she was looking at the
ceiling. Before she knew it she was crying as she hugged Tiffany back and whispered, “Thanks,
dummy.”
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
20 | P a g e
Tiffany disengaged from Jessica to look at her. “Ya! Stop calling me dummy like it’s my first
name! And don’t cry! You’re gonna make me cry too! We’re supposed to be happy! Okay?!”
Jessica got up and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “Okay,” she responded with a
big smile.
“Ahhh,” Tiffany said, “I missed having that smile directed at me! Hey! Let’s finish up
practicing the song, okay? If we do a good job tomorrow, let’s go to the mall to celebrate on
Saturday!”
Jessica laughed. Tiffany was wasting no time in making up for all they had lost. She
wondered if she could make up an excuse so that none of the other girls would tag along.
Her eyes followed Tiffany as she practically floated across the room to gather the sheet
music for their song.
“You may be surprised, my dear Jessica, of what life offers you if you just give it the chance. If
you are too hesitant, the most precious of things can be snatched away from you before they are even
yours.”
Jessica smiled as she finally realized what Karen-unnie had meant when she spoke those
words to her so long ago. She decided she was not going to lose her chance with Tiffany after being
given a second one.
“Tiffany Hwang, you are mine.”
With that thought Jessica confidently strode across the room to resume practice. “Okay Tiff,
let’s try it from the first chorus again.”
With that, Jessica looked straight into Tiffany’s eyes and began to sing.
“So, baby you don’t have to let me go…”
CHAPTER 3:  TOO DARN HOT
Tiffany was in heaven. Before her was the main walkway of the mall, completely devoid of
the crowds that normally plagued it on a Saturday. Of course it did not hurt that she had arrived at
9 am.
“See, Jess? I told you it would be empty if we came early!” Tiffany turned around to discover
that she had been talking to air. Spinning herself around multiple times, she managed to spy the
back of a familiar jacket slumped on one of the benches.
“Ya! Jessica Jung!” Tiffany ran over to the amorphous blob and began to lightly pound its
back.
The blob that went by the name of Jessica moaned in protest. “Tiffany…”Jessica slurred as
she finally opened her eyes. “Why are we here so early? We got home at 2 last night. I didn’t even
get to sleep until 3!”
Tiffany grabbed both of Jessica’s hands and pulled her up from the bench she was congealed
to. “I know it’s early!” Tiffany grunted as she strained against Jessica’s dead weight. “But it works
out since we won’t have to deal with so many people who could recognize us.  AND, we get to shop
at the nice stores without having to deal with all the crowds.”
Tiffany managed to hoist Jessica into a semi upright position. “Besides,” she smiled brightly,
“that way we can spend the most time together!”
Jessica wished she were more awake to enjoy the smile Tiffany was giving her, but her only
thought was that the amount of energy the girl was projecting this early in the morning was plain
disgusting.
“Plus, we were able to leave while everyone else was still asleep.” Tiffany muttered and
looked down, slightly swaying her shoulders.
Jessica blinked.
“I kinda wanted to spend time with just you since we haven’t had fun like this in a while…”
Tiffany kept her gaze intently at her shoes.
Jessica was fully awake now. She quickly spun around and reached behind her to grab one
of Tiffany’s arms, hiding the huge grin that had appeared on her face. She then rapidly dragged
Tiffany to the nearest store and said, “Alright! Let’s try this one, first!”
“Umm…” a low voice intoned. Jessica looked back, wondering if a fan had recognized them.
Behind her, she discovered a very confused old man in her grasp and Tiffany standing a few feet
away, hiding an amused smile. She quickly released the old man and bowed a full ninety degrees,
constantly apologizing until the disgruntled man left. She then casually walked back towards
Tiffany and calmly said, “Actually, why don’t we head over to the food court and get some coffee?”
Tiffany did her best to not laugh in front of her friend’s face. Not trusting herself, she simply
nodded and followed Jessica, who had rapidly taken off in the direction of the food court.
After finishing their cups of coffee, the girls began their shopping in earnest. Unfortunately,
things did not start off smoothly as the two were extremely conscious of each other’s presence.
Both girls seemed to avoid contact and would apologize when one had accidentally bump into the
other.  Conversations ended as quickly as they started, and more often than not, both spoke at the
same time followed by nervous giggles and an awkward silence. By the third of such awkward
silences, Jessica wanted to die. For some reason or another, there seemed to be an unbridgeable
divide between the two.
Tiffany did not appreciate the atmosphere as well, and in a burst of initiative, attached
herself to Jessica’s arm. But instead of easing the tension, the action had the complete opposite
effect on Jessica. Sweat began to bead on her forehead the moment she felt the softness of Tiffany’s
chest press into her arm.
Too Darn Hot
22 | P a g e
“Jess, you okay?” Tiffany asked. She had felt the girl’s arm stiffen and noticed the glistening
on her forehead.
Jessica thought the feeling on her arm was really quite nice.
“Jess?”
“Hmmmmm?” It was almost a magical kind of softness.
“Hello…”
She knew she was being stupid. It was not like she had not felt a pair of breasts before,
namely her own. But for some reason, all she could focus on was the hypnotic feeling and the
tingling in her arm. She-“Ouch!” Jessica looked at Tiffany in shock, “Why did you pinch me?!”
“You were completely zoning me out!” Tiffany then gave her an odd look. “You are one
strange girl.”
It took Jessica a few seconds to process what was said as her attention had wandered back
to the plush feeling on her arm again. Jessica paused and turned to face Tiffany, narrowing her eyes.
“Wait…did YOU just call ME strange?” She pointed dangerously at Tiffany.
Tiffany broke contact with Jessica and took off laughing, ignoring the stares of the few
people who had begun to trickle into the mall.
“Ya! Tiffany! Don’t run!” Jessica shouted, as she watched the girl’s hair and bags fly in
different directions. “Hey! I am NOT chasing after you!” Jessica looked down to hide her blush and
avoid the stares as she took off after the jackrabbit.
By time Tiffany was caught, both girls were laughing hard, not caring who saw or
recognized them. When they resumed their shopping, the barrier separating the two had finally
dissolved as they walked arm in arm, occasionally poking each other in the ribs.
The two continued shopping for another few hours, and as the mall soon reached capacity,
both girls donned caps they had purchased in addition to the glasses they were already wearing. By
an unspoken agreement, the pair wanted the day to themselves.
“Hey Tiff, let’s go eat.” Jessica’s stomach had been complaining for the past ten minutes.
Thousands of calories were required to keep up with Tiffany’s high paced rhythm.
“Sure, lemme just check this one last store.”
Jessica gave a look to Tiffany, who led her to a store nestled in one of the relatively quiet
areas of the mall. “You said that three stores ago! Tell me, why is this store so imp-“
Jessica stopped in her tracks. Emblazoned on the outer façade of the store were the words
“SEXY COOKIE CITY”.
A lingerie shop.
Tiffany wanted to go into a lingerie shop.
Jessica swallowed.
“Come on, Jess,” she said, eyes sparkling. “I thought we deserved to treat ourselves after
unnie’s radio show last night, we were a hit!”
With that, Tiffany excitedly walked into the store.
Jessica had thought of a million reasons not to go into the store, some even valid and quite
reasonable. However, nothing came out of her mouth as she watched Tiffany enter.
Jessica stood for a few seconds before she realized what she was doing. “What am I standing
here for?” she addressed the air, drawing a few eyes. “I have Tiffany Hwang waiting for me to pick
underwear with her! How many guys would kill for an opportunity like that??”
Despite the bravado, Jessica pulled her cap down tighter before peering to her left and right
as she quickly entered the store.
Unable to immediately find her friend, Jessica began to slowly walk around the store until
she was accosted by a sales woman with too much makeup.
“Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?” The overly-friendly woman said in an
artificially high pitched voice.
Too Darn Hot
23 | P a g e
“Uh, no,” Jessica replied, “I’m just looking for someone.”
“I think I have just the thing for you,” the saleswoman pressed on, ignoring Jessica. She then
pulled out a racy, low cut bra. “This should enhance your bust nicely, you have such nice curves. I’m
sure your boyfriend goes crazy!” The woman eyed Jessica’s open jacket.
Jessica quickly closed her jacket with one of her hands. “Uh…I’m really not here to buy
anything…”
“And THIS will make him putty in your hands!” The woman fished out a pair of sheer
panties seemingly from thin air. To avoid further humiliation, Jessica quickly took the items from
the woman, bowed, and promptly walked away. She finally found Tiffany further back into the store.
Jessica sighed in relief and called out to  her. “Ya! Don’t go leaving me behind like that, okay?”
“Hey! I thought you were right behind…”
Tiffany had looked up from the rack and suddenly began to blush.
It took Jessica a moment to realize that she was staring at the sheer panties proudly
displayed in her hands. Jessica quickly dropped all the items the saleswoman gave her to a nearby
table.
“Trying to give Hyoyeon a heart attack tonight?” Tiffany asked, referring to Jessica’s
roommate.
“Shut up,” Jessica responded, burning a glare into Tiffany’s forehead. She walked up to a
nearby chair and plopped herself down, content on sitting there until Tiffany was ready to go and
eat.
Tiffany picked up a white lace baby doll dress and held it against her body, examining
herself in the mirror. “Ah! This is so cute! Why isn’t there one in pink?”
Tiffany spun around and gave Jessica a grin. Her face then took on a look that could only be
described as naughty. “Let’s try some on!”
“W-what?” Jessica sat upright in the chair. She had been busy staring at the white-frilled
temptation, wondering how her Fany’s fanny would fill out the back of the dress.
“Come on!” Tiffany quickly pulled Jessica up. “We’ll each choose one thing for the other to
wear!”
Jessica smirked, “Anything?”
Tiffany nodded. “But nothing see-through!” she added as an afterthought.
“Damn, didn’t think of that,” she thought. “Still, this is going to be good.”
Jessica requested ten minutes as she took her time going through every inch of the store. It
was difficult as she had to resist the urge to pick some completely inappropriate items. She spent
the entire time agonizing over her selections. She had been dangerously treading the fine line
between being playfully flirty and being an unabashed pervert. In the end, Jessica preferred that
Tiffany not press charges against her and opted for a body hugging, black-laced slip with pink
ribbons and highlights. It covered everything that should be covered but was still tight and short
enough for Jessica to enjoy. She found Tiffany waiting with her selection by the dressing rooms.
Jessica eyed Tiffany’s hands warily. There was too little fabric hanging off the hanger.
“Ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be. You go first.”
“What?” Tiffany protested. “It was MY idea!”
“Which is exactly why you should go first!” Jessica placed the lacy garment in Tiffany’s
hands and took the ones meant for her.  She then forced Tiffany into a room near the back.
While waiting for her to finish changing, Jessica began inspecting the outfit that Tiffany had
selected for her. “Where’s the rest of it?” she muttered. In her hands were a black chiffon-trimmed
demi bra and a matching satin-ruffled skirt. Did Tiffany expect her to wear this? Jessica regretted
not selecting the backless slip she had seen earlier.
“Ready, Jess?” Tiffany called through the curtains. “1…2…3!”  
Too Darn Hot
24 | P a g e
Any regret Jessica harbored evaporated into thin air, along with the rest of her cognitive
powers. Tiffany stood, framing herself between the parted curtains in a coquettish pose. “Well, what
do you think?”
Jessica was not sure if it was because she had not eaten or if it was the way Tiffany stuck out
her cute posterior that made her light headed. She tried her best not to blatantly ogle her friend by
shrugging and casually saying, “It…looks cute. A lot of lace.” Jessica mentally kicked herself.
Tiffany smiled and pulled Jessica into the dressing room with her. “I have this problem right
here though. It’s like too loose right here, can you hold this part? I want to see how it looks like that.”
Jessica could only dumbly comply as Tiffany took her hands and brought it around her waist
to hold a piece of loose material right under the bust line. The position brought her face near
Tiffany’s bare neck and shoulders. It took Jessica all of her willpower not to sink her teeth into the
flesh to sample the taste. She did not know whether to praise the open skies above or curse Hades
below. It was the heaven in the hell.
Tiffany soon gave a high pitched shriek and giggled, “Stop breathing on my neck!” She
disengaged herself from Jessica and turned around with a large smile and tiny moon eyes.
Jessica felt her heart flutter. She was rapidly losing control of the situation.
“I’m…umm…gonna go to the next room and try this on if you’re done here.”
Without waiting to see if Tiffany still needed her, Jessica quickly headed out of the now
stuffy dressing room. Once safely inside the adjoining room, she heaved a sigh. “Real smooth,
Casanova,”  Jessica silently berated herself.  What had happened to that confident girl two nights ago?
“She freaked out last night,” Jessica responded to her own silent question. She could not
remember the last time she poured as much emotion into a song as she did last night singing with
Tiffany. By the time the song was over, she was visibly trembling. Yuri had noticed and reached
over to ask her what was wrong, but she tried to quickly play off the entire situation. It didn’t help
when Tiffany made the joke about Jessica being in love with her. The frivolous way she had made
the comment stung her and shattered her confidence. She had not realized what a sensitive girl she
still was even after dealing with her personal army of antis. Frankly, she was disgusted by it.
“Hey Jess, you finished yet?” Tiffany popped her head in between the curtains.
“Ack!” Jessica shrieked as she placed her palm square on the intruder’s face and heaved
with all her might. A thud could be heard from the other side of the curtains. Jessica had been so
distracted ruminating about last night’s events that she had not finished changing. Tiffany had
unfortunately stuck her head through when she had just removed her own bra.
Jessica quickly finished changing and called out, “Tiffany, you all right?” She cautiously stuck
her head out through the curtains to survey the damage. On the other side, Tiffany was in the
process of slowly getting up, gingerly rubbing her sore behind.
“That hurt, Jess!” Tiffany whined. “What in the world were you thinking?”
“Ya! What in the world were YOU thinking, sticking your head in like that?!”
“Eh? It’s okay, we’re all on the same team here! Now c’mon! Show me what you’ve got!”
“I’m not opening this curtain! You’re going to have to come in!”
“Fine,” Tiffany said laughing as she ducked through the curtains. While Tiffany had chosen
the outfit, she was still unprepared for the sight that greeted her. Jessica was nervously blushing,
holding up her hands in an attempt to cover her bare stomach. There was also a different look about
her. While Jessica looked drop dead gorgeous in the frilly pieces that covered her trim body, instead
of the cool, confident exterior she usually put on, there was this innocence and desire about her face.
It was a look that told Tiffany how much Jessica desperately wanted her approval as well as some
other things that she could not quite seem to grasp. For reasons unknown to her, Tiffany felt her
heart begin to hammer and her ears begin to burn as brightly as Jessica’s face.
“Wow,” Tiffany breathlessly exhaled.
Encouraged by Tiffany’s reaction, Jessica relaxed. She felt that the tables had finally been
turned and decided that this time she was going to make Tiffany the uncomfortable one. Her faced
Too Darn Hot
25 | P a g e
returned to its normal cool exterior as she placed her hands on her hips and gave Tiffany a sly smile.
“Like what you see?”
Tiffany’s cheeks soon matched the color of her ears, Jessica noticed with triumph. Her
victory, however, was short lived. Tiffany’s blush soon subsided as she then assumed a predatory
grin that made Jessica feel uncomfortable. “Oh yes I do! In fact I am QUITE jealous of some of your
assets!”
Tiffany held both of her hands up and began wiggling her fingers as she launched herself
towards Jessica, making grabbing motions towards the chest that was the pride of Girls’ Generation.
Jessica screamed and fought to keep Tiffany’s hands off of her. She only managed to kick Tiffany out
when a worker had stopped by their room to investigate the commotion.
Once Jessica had changed, she came out of the dressing room to see that Tiffany had already
purchased the slip that Jessica had chosen for her.
“You actually bought it?”
“Yep! And you are too!”
“What? Why?!”
“Because I bought mine.”
And that was the end of that.

“When am I ever going to wear this thing?” Jessica looked disdainfully at the bag containing
the tiny bra and skirt as she shoved another dumpling into her mouth. The bag had the nerve to sit
quietly at her table in the food court, blissfully ignorant of any wrongdoing. She forced her eyes off
the offending purchase and began scanning her surroundings to see if Tiffany had returned from
getting her meal. She spotted the girl walking slowly back to the table foodless and with her
shoulders slumped in defeat. She then collapsed into the chair next to Jessica. It was as if someone
had kicked her puppy.
“Jessica! I have no more money!” Tiffany whined. “I spent the last of it at Sexy Cookie and
the burger stand won’t take credit cards.” Tiffany was now in a near panic. “Do you know how long
I’ve been craving hamburgers for? How can such little fabric cost so much?”
Jessica turned to Tiffany, “That’s your divine punishment for making me buy those little
frilly things.”
Tiffany moaned in response and dropped her head onto the table. Jessica smiled at Tiffany’s
theatrics. When she thought Tiffany suffered enough she grabbed her chopsticks and held out a
dumpling in front of the girl’s nose. Tiffany’s eyes quickly focused on the treat in front of her and
then looked to Jessica.
“It’s not a burger, but I don’t think you’re in a position to complain.”
Tiffany’s eyes disappeared in a smile before she sat up and opened her mouth to eat the
dumpling, only to find air, her teeth clacking together uselessly.
“Jessica! I’m really hungry!”
“Okay, okay,” Jessica laughed as she dropped the dumpling into her friend’s mouth. She then
alternated between feeding herself and Tiffany for the rest of the meal. Both girls realized that
Jessica did not need to keep hand feeding Tiffany, but neither seemed to point that out and were
quite happy with the arrangement.
When the dumplings were gone, the two girls began talking. They did not stay on one topic
for long as the conversation naturally and rapidly shifted from one to another. All the while, a warm
glow had been building in Tiffany’s chest, slowly spreading until her fingers, toes, and scalp were
tingling. She smiled at the familiar feeling. It had been years since she had felt it. When she had first
met Jessica, they would end up talking on the phone for hours and she would enjoy that warm
tingling throughout the night. Now, after all these years, the feeling had finally returned. She had
sorely missed it. It was not just the feeling that she missed. She missed being able to talk to Jessica
Too Darn Hot
26 | P a g e
with such ease. She missed seeing Jessica smile at her without any awkwardness or hesitancy. She
missed the gentle touches that Jessica would give on her arm.
“Hey dummy,” Jessica softly rapped a knuckle on Tiffany’s head. “Anybody home?”
Tiffany realized she had zoning Jessica out. “Sorry,” she sheepishly replied. “I just realized
how much I missed all this.”
Jessica smiled back, “I know what you mean. I really miss talking like this.”
“Really?” Tiffany looked shocked. “I thought you and Yuri…I mean… back then it looked like
you two were always hanging out and talking…sometimes I would even wonder if that was how
we …you know…would have been if… ” Tiffany trailed off. She did not want Jessica to think that she
was jealous of Yuri. Which she was not. Only slightly.
Jessica frowned. Here was yet another example of how stupid she had been back then. She
leaned into Tiffany, letting the side of their heads touch. “Fany, I don’t know if I can apologize to you
enough for putting you through all that. I don’t know what would happen either. Yuri is my best
friend and a special person to me, but I also want you to be the most special person in the world to
me.”
Jessica felt Tiffany’s head shake as she laughed. “I don’t think that makes sense! Are you just
trying to make me feel better while staying loyal to Yuri?”
Jessica chuckled in response, her head still leaning on Tiffany’s. “Yeah, something like that.”
She did not expect Tiffany to catch the roundabout declaration of her feelings. Still, saying it out
loud gave her more confidence, almost like practice for the real thing.
Tiffany was puzzled. She decided to file away what Jessica said for later examination. For
the moment though, she concentrated on the softness of Jessica’s hair and the curious, but not
unwelcome, feeling of butterflies in her stomach.
“Say Jess?”
“Hmm?”
“Can you pay for the cab ride home?”
CHAP TER   4 :   BEGIN THE BEGUINE
“Unnie! It’s horrible!”
The distraught maknae of Girls’ Generation ran into the arms of Tiffany as she came through
the front door with Jessica.
“Seohyunie, what’s wrong?” Tiffany asked concerned.
Seohyun began pulling Tiffany towards their room. “Our room was flooded!”
“What?!” Tiffany dropped her bags and rushed to the room, overtaking Seohyun. The other
six girls were crammed inside the tiny space, trying to dry the floor as best they could. Tiffany
gingerly stepped over and around the wet towels that spotted the room to survey the damage.
“What happened?” Tiffany’s voice raised an octave in panic.
“I came back to the room after lunch to study and it was like this,” Seohyun sadly answered.
Taeyeon got up from her knees, a sopping towel dripped from her hands. “The landlord said
it was an old leaky pipe. He stopped the leak and went back to get some extra tools to patch
everything up.”
“What’s ‘everything’?”
Taeyeon pointed to the closet. It was then that Tiffany realized all of the closet’s contents
were on both beds. She turned to the closet to see a giant hole at the top of the wall where it met the
ceiling. In the hole sat a pipe that had been wrapped and bandaged as if it had fallen down the stairs.
A water stain could be seen on the wall leading down to…
“My dresser!”
The other girls looked at Tiffany in pity. “Sorry Fany, everything in there was soaked. We
put all your clothes in the bathtubs.” Hyoyeon finally managed to say.
Tiffany quickly looked up to sigh and blinked back the tears. “It’s okay. Thanks for doing all
this, I’ll finish up here. I just want to be able to sleep tonight.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Jessica said from the doorway. “We can finish much quicker if we work
together.” All the other girls quickly agreed, some waving their towels. Jessica continued, “That’s
why we have the power of nine, right?”
Everyone stared at Jessica as Taeyeon threw a damp towel at Jessica’s face and said, “Next
time, quit while you’re ahead.”
Despite the reaction, Jessica’s comments were true as the nine girls dried the entire floor
within the next hour. It would have been finished in half an hour had Sunny and Hyoyeon decided
not to start a war by slapping any posterior unfortunate enough to come near them with a wet
towel.
Tiffany collapsed on the floor when everything was dry and sighed, “This is my punishment
for going out to play today.”
“Yeah!” Sooyoung shouted in agreement. “What was that all about, you two? Going to play
without us! Are you guys having an affair or something?” She waved a wet towel at Tiffany and
Jessica, raining droplets across the just dried floor.
Tiffany smiled, “Oh! That’s right, I forgot! We got all of you guys some stuff!” She quickly got
up and led the now-cheering parade of girls back to the front of the apartment where she had
dropped her belongings.
Jessica lagged behind, glad that she did not have to give an explanation as everyone was too
distracted by the bribes. Well, mostly everyone.
“Sooo….”
Jessica winced. Yuri, not fooled by the distraction, had stayed behind. “Exactly why DID you
two sneak off?” She blinked her eyes rapidly and pursed her lips in a poor imitation of an innocent
question.
Begin the Beguine
28 | P a g e
Jessica looked away and muttered, “No reason.”
”Come on!” Yuri wheedled. “What’s going on Jessica? You’ve been acting weird since last
night when you and Tiffany…” Yuri’s eyes suddenly doubled in size.
“OH MY GAmmph!”
Jessica quickly clamped her hand over her best friend’s mouth. Not letting go, she dragged
Yuri into her room, making sure not to draw the attention of the seven girls who were now
collected in the living room, looking over Tiffany and Jessica’s spoils. Once she managed to close the
door, Jessica released Yuri’s mouth from her vise.
Yuri stuck her tongue out in disgust. “Ugh! Your hand smells like a dirty wet towel!”
Jessica spoke in a strained whisper. “Keep it down, will you?!”
Yuri tried her best to lower her voice, but her mind was still reeling. “What’s going on with
you two? Are you…? I mean…woah! This is BIG, BIG NEWS!! Who else knows?!”
Jessica fell backwards onto her bed and sighed. She knew she would have to tell Yuri sooner
or later, she was just hoping for later. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her friend, she was just afraid
Yuri would try to be too…helpful.
“I had no idea Fany…ya know…liked girls too!” Yuri continued, pacing the room.
“She’s doesn’t.”
“Huh?” Yuri stopped and turned to look at her friend.
“At least, I don’t think she does.”
“I don’t get it.”
Jessica sat up and looked at Yuri. “Nothing’s going on,” she said in a tone that clearly implied
she wanted the exact opposite.
“Wait, so what’s up then?”
“I told you, nothing.”
“But…do you want something to happen?”
“…”
“Sica?”
Jessica fell back on the bed again. “Yeah, I do,” she sighed.
Yuri scratched her head, uncertain of how to continue. The enormity of the situation was
beginning to completely engulf her. “Wow. When did you…I mean how did it first…”
Jessica closed her eyes. “Remember the first time you met me in the café?”
“You mean…with HER?” Yuri did not like to think about Karen. Despite Jessica’s pleas to
Yuri for leniency, Yuri could only see Karen as a woman who should have known better than to
string along a young girl for her own needs. “Wait, THAT long ago?”
“Even before that.”
“Wow…I mean…just wow…” Yuri repeated. She walked up to the bed and collapsed next to
Jessica. Despite the years of closeness the two shared, Jessica had never talked about anyone she
liked. Yuri figured it was because of Jessica’s limited options that she never bothered to even try to
fall in love. It would appear she was very wrong.

3 years ago
“So Eun JiWon too?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Even Shin Hye Sung? Oh! Or Johnny Depp?”
“Mmm…yeah, but they kinda look like girls too.”
“Okay, then how about-“
“For the last time Yuri, yes! They’re all hot!”
Everyone in the room turned to look at Jessica as the irate trainee quickly shrunk in the
couch and shot a menacing glare at Yuri, who was hiding a smile. The two were in the lounge area,
Begin the Beguine
29 | P a g e
waiting for dance class to begin. Yuri had spent the last ten minutes flipping through her teen idol
magazine to ask Jessica if she thought every single guy on the page was hot or not. Apparently she
found it hard to believe that Jessica could acknowledge the wet-dream worthiness of guys and that
she did not instantly vomit at the sight of a bare-chested man.
“Sorry, I’ll drop it now.”
“Thank you.”
After a few moments of silence Yuri spoke again with a thoughtful look on her face. “Sica…”
“What now?” Jessica asked, looking up from her book, exasperated.
“Exactly what kind of person do you go for?”
“Huh?”
“Well, you never talk about this kind of stuff.”
“Then what were we talking about on the phone all last night. And I mean ALL night.”
Yuri blushed, thinking back to her late night crooning about how her crush had loaned her
his pencil. “No, I mean, that was pretty much me talking about it, but what about you?”
“I don’t think this is the place to be talking about stuff like this.”
“Aw, come on…we got another half hour until class starts…c’mon…”
Jessica sighed and let her hair drop in front of her face as she thought about the question for
a moment. “It’s not stuff I really think about, ya know?” She lied. She knew for a fact she was just as
hormonal as the next girl, maybe even on the higher end of the spectrum, she just wasn’t vocal
about it.
“C’mon…try,” Yuri said, urging her on.
Jessica lifted her head as her eyes automatically looked for a familiar face. She located the
pair of tiny smiling eyes talking with Taeyeon at the other end of the room, also waiting for the
same class to begin. “I dunno…I used to think I needed a lot of things to find the one for me. Cute, a
bit clumsy, devoted, surprisingly sharp…”
“But now?”
“She just needs to stop my heart.”
Yuri looked at Jessica strangely. She had a far off look on her face as she continued staring at
the opposite end of the room. It was almost like watching a drama and Yuri couldn’t help but laugh.
“Gawd…could you BE any cheesier?”
Jessica reluctantly smiled, not shifting her gaze. Yuri then nudged in closer to Jessica and
whispered, “So...how good is your gaydar?”
“Eh?” Jessica was still trying to adjust to the playful girl’s way of teasing her. She could not
tell if Yuri was trying to get a reaction out of her or if she was actually curious. In this case, it was
probably a little of both.
“You know, can you tell just buy looking if a person…plays for the other team…”
Jessica gave Yuri a level look, “No, we just update our list every six months at our local
chapter meetings.”
“Aww…you’re no fun,” Yuri pouted. Undeterred, she pressed on. “So, you think girls would
go for me? Like would I be one of the popular ones?”
Jessica rolled her eyes and laughed.
“What? I’m serious!” Yuri declared, offended. “I’d like to think I’m hot enough for a girl as
well!”
Everyone in earshot stared at Yuri as Jessica looked away, trying to hide her laughter.

Yuri sighed and turned her head to look at Jessica, who had remained in the same position.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Something.”
“What are you going to do if she doesn’t like girls?”
Begin the Beguine
30 | P a g e
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Come again?”
Jessica turned to look at Yuri, “I don’t need to make Tiffany like girls. I just need to get her to
love ME.”
At first Yuri thought Jessica was joking and started to laugh. When Jessica did not follow, she
stopped and looked at the serious girl oddly before sighing again. “That’s a simple way to look at
things.”
“Well, I’m a pretty simple person,” Jessica said with a wry smile.
“Ha!” Yuri got up and pulled Jessica off the bed, patting her friend’s behind when she was
completely up. “Why couldn’t you bring home a nice, normal girl for me to approve? One that
actually likes girls would have been nice.”
“You know, for someone younger than me, you sure get away with a lot of stuff.”
“I know,” Yuri smugly replied. She then leaned and whispered conspiratorially, “So, what
did you guys end up doing on your date?”
“Gimme a break, alright? It wasn’t a date! We just went shopping and talked.”
At that moment a flurry of squeals could be heard from the living room. “OOOooo! Sexy
Cookie! What did you buy there, Fany?”
Yuri gave Jessica an awkward wink, making Jessica blush.
“I-it’s not what you think! She wanted to go there and I didn’t have a choice!” Jessica was
ready to wipe the smug look off her friends face when more noises could be heard.
“Oh! Sica got some things there too!”
Jessica’s face ignited as Yuri burst into laughter. She glared at her friend, who had fallen
back on the bed, clutching at her stomach. She then quickly decided that it was better to prevent the
others from actually opening up the bag than it was to teach Yuri a few lessons in restraint. With an
adrenaline burst of speed, she scurried into the living room and snatched the bag from Sunny’s
hands. What Jessica could not count on, though, was the equally quick reaction of the other girls.
Just as she had secured the bag in her arms, she was immediately gang-tackled to the floor. The
madness ensued for another five minutes in the form of a noisy dog pile until the girls were
interrupted by a doorbell. Taking advantage of the distraction, Jessica wormed her way out from
the bottom of the pile, and with her bag, quickly answered the door.
If the landlord was surprised to see the door violently swing open to present an out of
breath and disheveled Jessica, he did not show it. Most people would credit his non-reaction to
extensive experience in dealing with the girls. Unfortunately, the landlord was not the bearer of
good news. He soon informed a distraught Tiffany and Seohyun that the drywall of the entire closet
would have to be replaced to prevent any mold growth. He would spend the next week to repair,
inspect, and paint the closet, meaning the girls would need to move most of their belongings out of
their room.
“A week just to fix a tiny closet?” Tiffany began whining the moment their landlord left the
apartment. “Who paints the inside of a closet anyways?”
“It’ll be okay Fany, just calm down,” Taeyeon said.
“How can I? Where are Seohyunie and I going to sleep?”
“Don’t worry about it. We can just roll out some futons in the living room and you’ll be set.”
“I guess…” Tiffany replied reluctantly.
“It’s okay unnie,” Seohyun said as positively as she could. “It could be like an overnight field
trip.”
“Actually,” Yuri began, “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Eh?” Seohyun started, looking worried.
“You just started school again Seohyunie, so you need to make sure you get enough rest.
Sleeping in the living room is not going to work. I’m pretty sure you or Fany don’t want to wake up
every time someone comes home late or uses the bathroom.”
Begin the Beguine
31 | P a g e
Jessica could almost see the wheels turning in Yuri’s head. She did not like the direction they
were rotating.
“No, you two should definitely sleep in one of the other rooms.” The other girls quickly
agreed. “Four girls in one room is too much so-“
“Yeah,” Sooyoung heartily agreed, interrupting Yuri. “So not including ours, which rooms do
either of you want to stay in?”
Yuri resisted scowling, it wasn’t Sooyoung’s fault and she did not want the others to get
suspicious. The glare Jessica was shooting in her direction was indication enough that at least one
of the girls knew what she was trying to do. To prevent either girl from answering Sooyoung’s
question and destroying her brilliant plan, Yuri quickly raised her hand and shouted, “I choose
maknae!”
Seven pairs of eyes looked at Yuri oddly while another pair of eyes buried itself in Jessica’s
hand.
Trying to explain away her enthusiastic decision Yuri responded, “I umm…want to make
sure I can boss my new roommate around. Besides…Fany looks like she’s a snorer.”
“I AM NOT!”
“I’ll be sure to confirm that with Jessica tomorrow morning.”
Yuri quickly pulled both Seohyun and Sunny into her room, ostensibly to determine the
sleeping arrangements. Jessica sighed and turned to face Tiffany, trying to hide the mixture of
excitement and panic churning inside of her. It was futile, as the smile she saw on Tiffany’s face only
made it worse.

The girls spent the remainder of the afternoon moving what they could out of Tiffany and
Seohyun’s room into the living room. By the time the room was empty, everyone was ready for
dinner. For Jessica, it could not have come a moment sooner. As she feared, Yuri spent the entire
time trying to get Tiffany and her as close together, and apparently as in as many compromising
positions as possible. The final straw was when Jessica decided to take a quick nap on Seohyun’s
mattress after successfully dragging it to the living room. Yuri had “accidentally” run into Tiffany,
who had been walking by with a pile of her damp underwear to dry on the line. Suffice to say that
while Jessica appreciated the warmth and softness of Tiffany’s body on top of her own, she did not
appreciate the coldness of wet panties on her face, even if they were Tiffany’s.
Jessica thankfully sat her weary body down at the dinner table when she realized her chair
was much softer than she had anticipated. Turning around, she found herself staring at Yuri’s
innocent face.
“MMMmmm…Sica!” Yuri sang in a high pitched voice. “You must be so tired! You didn’t even
realize I was already sitting in the chair!”
Jessica narrowed her eyes. She was certain the chair had been vacant the millisecond before
she sat in it. “Sit across from appa,” Yuri teasingly continued. “I want to be able to gaze into your
eyes while I eat Hyoyeon’s wonderful food!”
Jessica sighed. “Why does she have to be so obvious?” she thought. Jessica’s new seat would
place her right next to Tiffany. She decided to oblige, but not before giving Yuri a sharp pinch,
rewarding her with a pained yelp.
Once everyone started eating, Yuri decided it was safe enough to continue the teasing. “Say
Fany,” Yuri paused as if the thought had suddenly come to her. “Since all your clothes are wet, what
are you going to do for pajamas?”
“Eh?” Tiffany looked up in surprise. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
Tiffany turned to Jessica. “Jessica, are you okay?”
Begin the Beguine
32 | P a g e
Jessica was coughing as she had inhaled a grain of rice the moment Yuri had asked her
“innocent question”.  All she could do was drink some water and continue glaring at Yuri, willing the
girl to stop.
As expected though, Yuri pressed on, “Well, it’s okay, you can always wear whatever it was
you bought at Sexy Cookie , ri-“
The entire table jumped and clattered as Yuri yelped for a second time that night, half in
surprise, half in pain. All the other girls quickly looked at Jessica, who had recovered from her
coughing fit and continued eating her meal. Feeling everyone’s eyes on her, she looked up and
calmly responded, “Sorry, my leg had a cramp.”
Yuri quickly recovered though and said, “Oh my! Hope that doesn’t give you any problems
tonight!” She followed the comment with another awkward wink.
Jessica resisted the urge to glue the offending eyelid shut and gave Yuri a sweet smile that
contradicted the death threat being transmitted through her eyes. Not wanting to push her luck,
Yuri left Jessica alone the rest of the meal as she had one last surprise left for her friend.
It wasn’t until late into the night, when the girls were getting ready for bed, that Jessica
discovered what Yuri’s final gift to her was.
“Hey guys,” Jessica called out from the closet. “Has anyone seen the extra futons?”
“It should be right there, unnie,” Yoona replied, heading over to help Jessica. “I was just
using one of them a few days ago. I remember putting it back in there.”
Yuri quickly popped her head out of one of the bathroom doors, white cream covering her
face and a towel on her head. “Oh! I forgot to tell you! Yoona, the futon you used was dirty so I
threw it in the wash.”
“So where’s the other one?” Jessica asked, slightly irritated.
The toothy smile that the cream-covered girl gave disturbed both Jessica and Yoona. “Why
it’s in my room of course,” Yuri innocently replied. “We can’t have our precious maknae sleeping on
the hard floor now, can we?”
“So what am I supposed to do?” Jessica asked through gritted teeth.
Yoona had absolutely no idea what was going on between the two unnies but she decided
she would ask later, much later. “I’ll go check the laundry to see if we can still get it out.”
“Oh don’t bother,” Yuri called back, her smile still glued to her face. “Hyo and Sica’s beds are
pushed together anyways, so it’s like one big bed. Fany can squeeze in between them.”
Jessica left Yuri and Yoona and went back to her room, muttering the entire way. Both
Tiffany and Hyoyeon looked up in surprise to see Jessica in a foul mood.
“So where’s the futon?” Tiffany hesitantly ventured.
Jessica counted to three before responding. “It looks like Seohyun got the only one. Are you
guys okay with, um, ya know, sharing the beds?”
Both Hyoyeon and Tiffany had no objections and seemed completely unfazed, which slightly
annoyed Jessica. Jessica sighed. She needed to relax. While she could punish Yuri all she wanted for
the meddling, she should just enjoy the situation that she was now in. With that outlook, she went
to her closet and fished out an old shirt and pajama pants.
“Here Fany. The shirt’s a bit loose and the drawstrings for the pants are missing but I guess
they’re better than nothing.” Jessica quickly shook the thought of “nothing” out of her mind and
gave Tiffany the old, worn clothing.
“Thanks!” Tiffany took the clothes and bounced out of the room.
Hyoyeon looked over to Jessica, amused. “Shouldn’t she have less energy the later it gets?”
Jessica replied, “You’re assuming she’s human.”
At that moment, the girls could hear Tiffany’s cheery loud voice. “Hyo! The bathroom is all
yours!”
With that, Hyoyeon left while Jessica went ahead to set the beds up for an unexpected
addition. She had just begun to remove the sheets when Tiffany came in.
Begin the Beguine
33 | P a g e
“Need any help, Jess?”
Jessica looked up to respond, but that was as far as she got. Tiffany was standing by the
entrance of the room wearing Jessica’s old pajamas. The stretched out grey shirt hung loosely over
Tiffany’s frame, fully exposing one of her soft shoulders. The old white pajama pants that were
missing the drawstring were just as ill-fitting. The waistband hung delicately on one hip while it fell
freely on the other side, revealing black laced panties with pink highlights. Of course, even if the
drawstring had been in place it would not have helped since the pants were so worn that the thin
white cotton did nothing to hide the ebony undies. Jessica swallowed as she realized that Tiffany
was wearing the lingerie she bought today. She swore she would never again throw out any of her
old clothes.
Tiffany blushed under her friend’s intense stare. “What?” she protested. “All of my
underwear is drying! Besides, you already saw me in these!”
Tiffany attempted to cover herself up with her hands, but the shy actions just inflamed
Jessica more. In an attempt to distract herself, Jessica resumed setting up the bed sheets as Tiffany
silently came over to help.
“Hey Jess?” Tiffany asked after a few seconds of silence.
“Hmmm?” Jessica continued to focus tucking the sheets into one of the stubborn bed
corners, not trusting herself to look at her lace-ornamented friend.
“Sorry for all the problems I’m giving you…and Hyoyeon. I can sleep on the floor you know.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jessica responded, trying not to sound too excited. “It’ll be like a
sleepover, right? We never got a chance to do one of those back then.”
Tiffany smiled, touched that Jessica would remember. The pair had planned to sleep over at
one of their houses, but they never had the chance before Jessica then became involved with her
secret boyfriend.
A sudden thought popped into her head. “Hey Jess?” Tiffany asked.
“Hmm?”
“You know that boyfriend you had?”
“What boyfr-oh! Um yeah…what about…him?” Jessica looked up, worried at what question
Tiffany was about to ask.
“Did you ever, you know…ummm…‘sleep over‘ with him?”
“W-w-what?!” Jessica stuttered. She had not been prepared for that kind of question and felt
her ears begin to burn. She quickly threw a pillow at Tiffany’s face. “Ya! It wasn’t THAT kind of a
relationship, okay! No more questions about it! It was just a stupid thing and nothing like that
happened, alright!?”
Tiffany rubbed her nose as the pillow hit her square in her face. “Okay,” she smiled. For
some reason, she felt extremely relieved by Jessica’s response.
The girls quickly finished setting up the bed and began talking about their plans for
tomorrow. Jessica, Tiffany, and Seohyun were scheduled to go into the studio to prepare for a song
that they had been selected to sing. Tiffany thought that the three of them could go out for lunch
after the morning meeting and then go to practice afterwards. Tiffany was still figuring out where
they would eat when Hyoyeon had finished drying her hair. Once the third pea had returned, they
all attempted to get into their pod. Fortunately for Hyoyeon, and unfortunately for the other two
peas, she was extremely exhausted and fell asleep almost the instant she hit her bed. That meant
the other two girls had to negotiate the remaining space for themselves.
The biggest difficulty was that Tiffany was sleeping over the division where the two beds
met. It was only natural for her to favor one side. The problem was that it was the side Jessica was
on. Jessica sighed and opened her eyes as she felt Tiffany shift uncomfortably for what seemed to be
the twelfth time. She was about to say something when Tiffany tossed violently one more time. She
suddenly felt the world violently spin around her and abruptly, she found herself staring under her
bed.
Begin the Beguine
34 | P a g e
“Jess! You okay!?” Tiffany spoke in a strained whisper as she popped her head over the edge
of the bed.
Jessica quickly got up and shot Tiffany a glare that she hoped was glow-in-the-dark.
“Sorry!” Tiffany rubbed her hands together in apology. “I’m just really uncomfortable!”
Jessica held her glare a second longer before dropping it and sighing. “It can’t be helped.
Here, scootch closer and turn around.” Jessica directed Tiffany to move closer to the center of her
bed with her back towards her.
“Like this?” Tiffany whispered. “Is that enough for you?”
“It’s fine, now don’t move.” Jessica then slid back into bed and wrapped her arms around
Tiffany, pressing the girl’s back snugly against her body. “There,” Jessica yawned. “Now we both
have enough room to sleep. Make sure you’re comfortable, because I’m not gonna let go and let you
move around again.”
Jessica felt Tiffany tense from the sudden contact “Umm, are you sure this is okay?” Tiffany
asked.
“You have any better suggestions?” Jessica asked, praying that the girl did not.
“No, I guess not.” Tiffany slightly relaxed. A moment later she suddenly asked, “What if I
have to go to the bathroom?”
“You better not.”
“Oh. Okay.” Tiffany relaxed some more in Jessica’s arms before yawning, “Goodnight, Jess.”
“Night, Fany.”
Jessica waited until she could feel the steady rise and fall of Tiffany’s chest before she
tightened her embrace and repeated what she told Tiffany. I am never letting you go.  
CHAPTER 5:   NIGHT AND DAY
Jessica’s eyes slowly fluttered opened, letting in the dull, blue light of pre-dawn. At the tip of
her nose an errant strand of hair tickled her with every breath she took. She thoughtlessly blew the
offending strand away from her face and immediately felt a slow rubbing sensation on her chest as
she suppressed an involuntary moan. Looking down to find the source of her pleasure, she found
Tiffany’s face buried completely in her bosom. Apparently the sleeping girl had managed to rotate
herself within Jessica’s embrace to where she was now firmly nestled. Her eyes traveled further
down to discover that their legs had become entwined in an indistinguishable mess of limbs. Trying
to determine which set of legs were hers, she began to slowly move them only to stop when she
heard Tiffany moan and rub her face into Jessica’s chest again, causing Jessica to moan as well.
Unable to find a way out, she decided to relax and enjoy the feeling of Tiffany’s soft thighs pressed
against her own. At that moment, everything felt right to Jessica as she slowly inhaled the scent of
Tiffany’s lavender shampoo. As her eyes slowly dropped she wondered how the girl in her arms
would react when she woke up.

Tiffany woke up a few hours later to the sound moaning. Her soft pillow was gently rising
and falling, lulling her back to sleep. With no intention of fighting the feeling, she nuzzled her face
deeper into the pillow. The moaning sound immediately returned, rumbling in her ear and ruining
any chance of a quick return to sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and was greeted by the gently
smiling face of a sleeping Jessica Jung. Tiffany smiled at the sight. She always enjoyed looking at
Jessica’s sleeping face because it openly reflected her friend’s heart. Replacing her emotionless,
sometimes haughty, countenance was a beautiful, serene face decorated with a shy smile.
It took Tiffany a moment for the fog of sleep to clear up before she could wonder why she
was staring at Jessica’s face when she had just woken up. When the realization finally dawned, she
quickly lifted herself up to discover that she had been using her friend as a body pillow. A
prominent drool mark on Jessica’s chest served to erase any doubts of what she did. Tiffany quickly
got up to remove herself from the compromising position. She did not, however, count on her right
arm being pinned under Jessica and their legs sharing the same space. As a result, Jessica was
unceremoniously dumped onto the floor while her legs remained on the bed. For the second time,
Jessica found herself staring underneath her bed.
“Ah! I’m so sorry Jess!” Tiffany shouted in mortification. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, the floor caught me.”
Tiffany quickly helped her friend back on the bed. Jessica sorely rubbed the back of her head
when she noticed a rather large wet spot on her chest. She arched a delicate eyebrow at Tiffany who
could only blush in response before muttering about having to go to the bathroom and scurrying
away.
Judging from all the noise, Hyoyeon assumed her roommates were finally awake. When she
popped her head through the door to ask them what they wanted for breakfast, she only found
Jessica sitting on her bed. The sleepy girl was staring at the wall with a stupid smile on her face and
a hand on her chest. Hyoyeon appraised her roommate for a few more seconds before deciding that
it was best to guess what the girls wanted for breakfast. Besides, she figured she would let Jessica
enjoy whatever happy thought she was thinking about before she showed her the wonderful
ransom picture she had taken of the two girls sleeping together in a tight embrace.
The rest of the morning passed with little incident as Jessica, Tiffany, and Seohyun quickly
rushed to the door when they heard the doorbell.
“Morning Jooyoung oppa,” the three girls chimed as they opened the door for a rather good
looking man.
Night and Day
36 | P a g e
Jooyoung oppa was one of the many managers of Girls’ Generation, as trying to manage nine
girls with nine independent schedules was near impossible for one person. His primary job today
was to take the three girls over to the SM building for their morning meeting. Instead of greeting the
girls like he normally did, their manager stepped aside to introduce his charges to the woman
standing behind him.
“Girls, this is Nam Minji,” Jooyoung said, revealing a tall woman standing slightly shorter
than the man himself. Her long straight hair was held in tight ponytail and her immaculate charcoal
pant suit was pressed with military precision. “She’s working hard to become a manager so she’ll be
following us around and helping out wherever she can. Please take care of her, okay?”
The woman stepped forward and bowed in greeting. Her dark eyes contained an odd
mixture of amusement and derision. To Jessica, it felt as if the woman was privately laughing at
some flaw she had discovered in whoever she looked at. “Hello, my name is Nam Minji, but you can
just call me Anna. I hope I won’t be a burden to your Jooyoung oppa.”
The three girls returned the bow and formally gave their greetings to their new assistant
manager before all five headed to the parking lot. Predictably, Tiffany carried the conversation with
Anna throughout the car ride as she was excited at the prospect of meeting another American
transplant. Anna had been born in Korea and moved to New Jersey when she was eleven. She
returned to Korea for high school and college as she had been recruited to become a trainee at a
small entertainment label. During the conversation, Jessica found herself slightly troubled. While
Anna was nice enough, there always seemed to be an undercurrent of disdain when she answered
Tiffany. It was as if the woman would smirk at the hyperactive girl’s questions. Jessica was pretty
certain that Anna had dismissed Tiffany as an Asian-American airhead. Proving the contrary, Jessica
could clearly see in Tiffany’s eyes that she was very much aware of Anna’s impression of her. But
despite the demeaning attitude, the sociable girl did her best to continue the conversation. Jessica
smiled inwardly. That was one of Tiffany’s greatest strengths. No matter how badly someone
disparaged her, Tiffany never returned the favor. She would continue to try and win the person
over, not through insincere acts of goodwill, but by being her genuine kind self.
They did not learn anything more about Anna, but what was puzzling to both girls was the
odd hostility in her responses regarding her past as trainee. The tension in her voice was thick
enough that even poor Seohyun was slightly scared of the woman. Jooyoung oppa though,
unperceptive as always, had not noticed the millions of words not spoken by the women in the car.
“Typical man,” the ladies thought.
When they arrived at the SM building, the girls pushed away all thoughts of passive
aggressive assistant managers and got down to business. At the meeting the three learned that they
would be involved in a project single called Roommate. They were to sing one of the tracks called
“Oppa Nappa”, or “Bad Oppa”. It was decided that recording was to begin as soon as possible so the
girls needed to start practicing immediately. Following the meeting, the girls went to one of
recording studios with the songwriter to get a feel of the song and sing a few lines. They concluded
the practice a little past noon as the three, along with their managers, headed over to a nearby
hamburger restaurant at the insistence of Tiffany.
“Finally!” Tiffany exclaimed in ecstasy. “You don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve had a
burger!”
Jessica smiled and looked down at her food. While she preferred Korean food, there was
something familiar about a heart-stopping bacon cheeseburger. She lifted up the greasy burger and
stretched her mouth wide to sink her teeth into the meat. In the process she caught the look of
revulsion Anna had given her.
The manager-in-training quickly caught herself and gave Jessica a tight smile. “Are you sure
you want to be eating that?” she asked, eyeing the dripping burger with concealed distaste. “You
should really be watching what you eat since you girls need to be as skinny as possible. No fan
wants to see a belly on their favorite idol. Isn’t that right, Jooyoung?”
Night and Day
37 | P a g e
Anna looked over to the man who was preoccupied, texting a message on his phone. In a
delayed reaction, Jooyoung looked up. “Huh? Oh, yeah, that’s right. Sica, you should eat up. You guys
are all too skinny and you’re going to need energy since you have two songs to practice now.” With
that he quickly returned his attention back to his phone.
Jessica did not say anything, instead taking a large bite of her hamburger and giving a meat
filled smirk to her new assistant manager. Anna gave a frustrated smile and returned to poking her
fork in the tiny salad in front of her.
Everyone quickly finished their lunch as Tiffany had to be dropped off to film her daily
program, Sosogabek. As the three stuffed girls were about to pile into the car, Tiffany whined, “Aw, I
don’t want to sit in the middle again! I’m so sleepy!”
Seohyun started to respond, “Don’t worry unnie, I’ll-“
“Come on maknae, get in the car,” Jessica interrupted gently pushing Seohyun into the car.
“But-,” Seohyun attempted to continue as the ranking unnie guided her through the door
and sat in the middle instead.
Once seated, Seohyun pulled out a Mandarin textbook and was soon jotting notes in the
pages. Tiffany, on the other hand, was too full of meat to do anything else but nod off. Jessica wished
she could sleep as well, but sitting in the middle made it difficult for her, so she took out her mp3
player to listen to some music. Within a few minutes, she felt a gentle pressure on her shoulder and
turned to see that the last pothole they had run over had knocked a dozing Tiffany over onto her
shoulder. Silently thanking her manager oppa’s poor driving skills, she gently rested her head atop
Tiffany’s, enjoying the soft feeling. Looking ahead, she noticed that Anna had been staring at her
through the rear view mirror. Unfazed, Jessica returned the stare until Anna broke the gaze in
defeat.

With the promotion of a new song and Girls’ Generation promoting their first album for at
least another month, Jessica and Tiffany’s schedule exploded. From morning until dinner, each girl
would work on a mixture of their individual and group commitments. They would then come back
home to eat dinner before the entire group would head to the practice studio to work on their Baby
Baby live performance. Afterwards Jessica, Tiffany, and Seohyun would stay and practice singing
Oppa Nappa. The three would be lucky if their days ended before midnight. Despite their hectic
schedules, Tiffany and Jessica spent the nights whispering and giggling. But as the dirty futon that
Yuri threw in the wash had mysteriously disappeared, the three girls were still sharing a bed and
Hyoyeon found herself an unwilling participant in the conversations. After the second night,
Hyoyeon would not let the other two into the room unless she was certain that both girls looked
tired enough to actually sleep. That usually meant the pair would be out in the living room, chatting
into the early morning. Both girls were afraid to be the first to tire so there were times when Sunny
would step out of her room for some water after a late night gaming session and be greeted by the
sight of two girls blankly staring at each other. One time, they had even fallen asleep sitting up on
the couch, a mistake they made sure to never repeat. Their backs were so sore the next day that
they could not even sit up straight. An observant fan also would have noticed an episode of
Sosogabek where Tiffany seemed to be tilting out of the camera frame.
But the good times had to come to an end as the damaged bedroom was eventually
repaired. On the last night of Tiffany’s stay at hotel HyoSica, the girls were determined to enjoy it to
the fullest. Even Hyoyeon had stayed up for the event, which did not make sense as the girls were
celebrating Tiffany’s last night sleeping in the room. Tiffany wanted to start the night properly so
once all three girls had showered and were ready for bed, she ran off to the kitchen and came back
carrying a bag of chips and dragging an ice chest filled to the brim with ice and bottles of soju.
Jessica and Hyoyeon looked at each other in trepidation. While the bubbly American could
hold a terrifying amount of liquor, the other two girls were not so confident in their own abilities.
“Uh, Fany…isn’t that a bit too much?” Hyoyeon asked, slightly paling.
Night and Day
38 | P a g e
“Of course, but I’d rather have too much than too little!”
“I wished your ‘too much’ was a little smaller,” Jessica responded, warily eyeing the chest.
“Oh don’t be such babies!” Tiffany quickly opened three bottles and handed one to each girl.
“I brought some chips too, so no complaints!”
“But we already brushed our-“
“Less talk, more drinking.” Tiffany held up her bottle and shouted, “Cheers!”
“…cheers...” came the less than enthusiastic response.
In a few short minutes, the hesitant voices of the two reluctant roommates grew more
boisterous. Their quiet gestures gave way to wild flailing as everyone in the room began loosening
up and having the kind of fun that would make most grown men blush. There was even an
impromptu American Cultures tutoring session for an unsuspecting Hyoyeon. Tiffany asked her if
she wanted to learn how to play spin the bottle and Hyoyeon then spent the next 15 minutes, much
to the chagrin of Jessica, defending herself from Tiffany planting wet, sloppy kisses on her cheek.
After a few hours, the girls had calmed down again, or in Hyoyeon’s case, passed out on her bed.
“Poor Hyo,” Tiffany said, stroking the sleeping girl’s head. “I guess we kind of pushed it for
her, huh?”
“What about me?” Jessica pouted as she rubbed her legs.
“Oh, you can handle way more than that, Jess!” Tiffany looked up at the girl rubbing her legs.
“What in the world are you doing?”
“I’m not sure if I can feel my legs anymore.”
“Haha, you big baby,” Tiffany said as she extended her arms. “Come here and let mommy
give you a hug.”
Jessica gave a mock pout and leaned into the hug, enjoying the feel. Lately she had been the
one initiating most of the contact with Tiffany, so it felt nice to be receiving a hug rather than giving
one. She made sure to remember that her friend seemed touchier when buzzed.
“Well, I guess we’re lucky Yuri’s not here,” Jessica said, contently listening to Tiffany’s
heartbeat. “She’s even more scandalous when drunk. I’m sure all her fans would faint if they
realized how much of a molester she is.”
Tiffany, seemingly lost in thought, did not say anything. After a few moments, she asked
Jessica, “So we’re still going to hang out once I move back into my room, right?”
“What? Of course!”
“Is Yuri okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t she be?”
“I dunno…” Tiffany tried to look down, but since Jessica was still in her arms, all she did was
bury her head into Jessica’s hair.
Jessica sat herself up and looked at Tiffany, grinning. “Are you jeeaalouuss?”
“W-WHAT!? Why would I be jealous?” Tiffany protested, her already flushed face growing
brighter. “I-I…just don’t want Yuri to be jealous! She might think I’m trying to steal you back or
something…”
Jessica laughed at Tiffany’s flustered appearance. “Ya Ddilfany, remember what I told you at
the mall? You’re special to me so don’t worry. I missed spending time like this with you and don’t
think one lousy week is going to make up for four years of neglect.” She then put on a serious face,
“Besides, Yuri would never feel that way, you know that, right?”
Tiffany nodded in response then threw a cute little pout. “Aww, now you’re making me feel
like a bad person!” She then gave a tiny smile at Jessica and conceded, “Okay fine, maybe I was a
LITTLE jealous. But no more! YulSic is YulSic and JeNy is JeNy, two separate things that should not
be compared!”
“Don’t you mean JeTi?”
“JeNy, JeTi! Same difference!”  
Night and Day
39 | P a g e
Jessica could only laugh at how serious Tiffany looked saying such a silly thing. Her laughing
was accompanied by a lightness in her heart. She figured it was a good sign that Tiffany wanted to
be closer to her. There was still the little problem of whether or not it was a closeness of friendship
or something more, but Jessica was desperate for any sort of progress. And as awful as it sounded,
Tiffany’s jealousy gave her a warm glow.
“So how did you two get so close?” Tiffany asked curiously once Jessica’s laughter subsided.
“I think she was just being too nosey and thought it would be fun to get a reaction from me.”
“Come on, seriously.”
“Well, the nosey part is true,” Jessica admitted. “But I think she was just looking out for me,
since she saw me being…stupid.”
“What did you do?” Tiffany pressed.
“Oh…well, it was with that person I told you about before.”
“Oh…” Tiffany frowned. She knew Jessica had not told her the entire story about the older
man she had gone out with, the one who had destroyed their relationship. She had tried to bring up
the topic a few times but Jessica always managed to steer the conversation away. She did not like it
as she felt that she had some involvement in the matter and was not an outside party. For reasons
unknown, it bothered her that Jessica did not want to talk about the subject, it greatly bothered her,
in fact.
Jessica noticed the look on Tiffany’s face and quickly continued, heading off any attempts to
pursue the other topic. “I think we got so close because Yuri is just so unafraid to be silly in front of
anyone. She wasn’t intimidated by my appearance or anything and just let loose. We kind of feed off
each other you know, the sillier she gets, the more sarcastic I get.”
Tiffany sighed, “That’s nice.” She then caught the raised eyebrow Jessica gave her. “What? I
told you I’m not jealous!” she defended, contradicting her earlier admission.
The glow quickly returned to wash over Jessica. But as much as she enjoyed the feeling, she
figured she should put Tiffany at ease before karma decided to come back and bite her in the butt.
Jessica smiled, placed both hands on her friend’s head and said, “Don’t worry Tiff, we’ve got
something better.”
“Eh? What?” Tiffany struggled to lift her head up underneath the hands as Jessica laughed.
“You mean you don’t know?”
“Why would I know? Come on, tell me!”
“Seriously?” Jessica dropped the teasing expression on her face as she felt her breath begin
to tremble. She did not know if what she was about to do was the right thing or if the alcohol had
finally gotten to her head.
“Of course!” Tiffany laughed in response, completely unaware of the conflict brewing within
her friend.
“…”
“Jess?”
“Because I love you.”
Jessica held her breath and stared, her heart thundering in her ears. Tiffany paused and
returned the stare in semi-confusion. To Jessica, there couldn’t have been a more perfect picture.
Tiffany’s head was slightly askew, causing a few strands of her hair to fall across her face, slightly
obscuring her cutely furrowed brow. A delicate blush from all the alcohol she consumed had
highlighted her cheeks, giving it a lovely glow. Her full, moist lips were slightly puckered in thought
and were just begging to be kissed.
Completely caught up in the moment and influenced by a few too many bottles of soju,
Jessica’s mind swirled as she slowly leaned in to taste those pouty lips…
“Phbbbt….” Tiffany exploded as she could not contain her laughter. “Hahaha! Aww, I love
you too, Jess!”
Jessica sat stunned while Tiffany continued. “We need to get you in a drama, not Yoona!”  
Night and Day
40 | P a g e
Jessica managed a weak smile. “Hehe, what? You were hoping for a profound answer?” She
hoped Tiffany did not detect the trembling in her voice. “I’m gonna go recycle these bottles, kay?”
Jessica got up as quickly as she could on her wobbly knees and left the room with the empty
bottles, not waiting for a response. In the kitchen she attempted to compose herself.
“Okay, not quite the reaction I had in mind,” she muttered. It was not as bad as it seemed,
she reasoned. Tiffany simply misunderstood what she meant and given the amount of alcohol she
drank, it was to be expected. Jessica immediately brought her fingers to her temple as she felt a
sudden headache.
“Come to think of it, how many have I had?” Jessica winced as she waited for the throbbing to
subside. She took a few extra breaths before gathering up the courage to return to the room and
clarify her statement.
“Tiffany, about…what I said,” Jessica began as she entered the room. Unfortunately she was
never able to finish the sentence as the confessor discovered that the confessee had already passed
out, face down, on the bed.
Jessica sighed. She quietly walked up to the bed and rolled Tiffany on her side to prevent
her from suffocating. She then gently brushed the hair away from the sleeping girl’s face, trailing
her fingertips across the smooth skin. She sighed a final time and crawled into bed, wrapping her
arms around Tiffany and pressing her close to enjoy what she thought would be her last chance to
do so. She closed her eyes and slept fitfully the rest of the night. The next day all three girls were
greeted in the morning by a scolding Taeyeon and throbbing headaches.
CHAPTER 6:   MORE T HAN YOU KNOW
Jessica stifled a yawn as she sat patiently on the couch. To her right, Seohyun sat awkwardly
on the arm while a stylist fixed her hair and makeup. Sitting to her left Tiffany, donned in extensions,
also received attention from another stylist. This stylist was in the process of making sure the girl
was showing ample leg. While Jessica had no complaints of staring at her friend’s smooth pale gams,
she objected to the idea of the entire Asian continent literally looking up her skirt. When the stylist
finally left, Jessica discreetly brought her hand down to lower the hem of Tiffany’s dress a good
three inches. Tiffany looked at Jessica and smiled in thanks, as she was not enamored with the
thought of her panties being featured in a music video freeze frame.
Before she could say anything to Jessica, Anna appeared in front of the girls looking very
much like the director. She glanced over them in reluctant approval but paused when she saw
Tiffany.
“Tiffany dear,” she said with a forced smile. “Your skirt is too long, pull it up a bit.” She
looked around frustrated. “I thought I was very clear to that stylist that I wanted you to show more
leg!”
Jessica quickly interrupted, “Yeah, she said she was coming back to fix it, she just went to get
some pins or something like that.”
Anna pursed her lips, carefully analyzing what Jessica said. When she could find no fault, she
simply nodded and walked over to one of the set managers. “Excuse me! Does the green screen have
to be THAT green?”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “Does she have to be THAT annoying? You’d think she was the
daughter of Lee Soo Man. Wait, that’s not fair. I would never wish a relative like that for Sunny.
Tiffany stifled a laugh as Seohyun tried to get her unnies to soften their voices. The last
thing she wanted was for their substitute manager unnie to overhear and get into a fight with
Jessica again.
“Well, I will agree with her on one thing,” Jessica said, turning to look behind her. “That
green screen is really giving me a headache.”
“Yeah,” Tiffany concurred. “But you gotta admit, this is probably the easiest music video
we’ve ever filmed. I’d prefer sitting on this couch over crying in the middle of a field the whole day,
right Woosica?”
Jessica gave Tiffany a look. “You want to start a war over nicknames? Because I think you’d
lose spectacularly.”
The girls began to laugh but immediately stopped when Anna came in to view again. The
woman looked over the trio suspiciously before heading off to badger another poor assistant.
“I really wish Jooyoung oppa didn’t have a dentist appointment today,” Seohyun muttered.
“Tell me about it,” Tiffany echoed.
“I don’t know where she gets off acting so high and mighty,” Jessica said in a loud voice.
“She’s not even a real manager yet.”
“Unnie,” Seohyun whispered frantically. “Be careful! She might hear!”
Before Jessica had a chance to tell Seohyun how little she cared about the woman with the
stick up her ass, said anal retentive woman had returned.
“Okay you guys,” she shouted, clapping her hands. “They’re ready to start shooting again so
get ready! Imagine fluffy clouds and puffy mushroom trees all around you!”
Jessica hid a scowl and bit her tongue, not trusting herself to saying anything in front of the
woman. A thought then occurred to her. “Puffy mushroom trees? What in the world is this music video
going to look like?”
More Than You Know
42 | P a g e
Having participated in numerous music videos, the girls were slightly surprised when the
director wrapped up filming by the afternoon. Before they knew it, they were sitting in the lobby
waiting for Anna to come and pick them up. Their assistant manager had abruptly left them in the
middle of filming, claiming an important appointment to attend to. Even she had not anticipated the
filming to end so soon.
While Jessica did not like to disparage the label she worked for, there was no skirting
around the fact that the music video was low budget. That being said, she could not complain as
that meant the rest of her Sunday was free, assuming they did not spend the entire afternoon
waiting for Anna to return.
A sudden inspiration hit her. Jessica turned to the other girls, a sly smile slowly spread
across her face. “Hey, why don’t we just go?”
“Huh?” both girls chimed in unison.
“We don’t know how long Anna’s going to be and she not picking up her phone, so why
wait?”
Tiffany and Seohyun looked at each with concerned eyes before they turned back to Jessica.
“Are you sure that’s smart?” Tiffany asked worriedly.
“Well, what are we going to do? Wait here until Anna feels like dropping by from whatever
‘appointment’ she had?”
“Yeah, but…,” Tiffany trailed off, uncertain of what to say.
“Besides, we can go check out the outdoor marketplace by the subway station.”
Tiffany gasped, she was in.
“One down,” Jessica thought as she smiled and turned her attention to the younger girl.
“Unnie,” Seohyun began warily.
“It’s okay Seohyunie,” Jessica said, gently coaxing the wary maknae. “It’ll be our reward for
a hard day of filming.” She conveniently ignored the fact that the filming was anything but exerting.
“But I have a lot of homework to do.”
“You also need to get more supplies, right? Pens, notepads, we can probably find some
flashcards there too.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ll bet you that we can also find the special edition Nodame box set there as well.”
“Oh!” Seohyun’s eyes widened as her mouth made a tiny circle.
“And then there were three,” Jessica thought as she allowed herself a brief moment to relish
her victory.
Once they collected their bags, Sergeant Sic led her troops out of the lobby to hail a cab.

The outdoor marketplace was a noisy, bustling array of shops that sprawled across the
entire length of a large alley. The girls, donned in sunglasses, pressed their way through the mass of
bodies, firmly gripping each other’s hands less they be separated.
“You see one yet?” Tiffany shouted over the din. She was powerless as the caboose in their
human train.
“Not yet,” Jessica replied. She was following Seohyun as the hungry girl determinedly pulled
her unnies around, looking for a rice cake stand.
“Ah! I see one!” Seohyun shouted with glee. She quickened her pace, nearly dragging the
other two girls off their feet.
A few yards down, Tiffany spied a store at the corner of her eye and quickly let go of
Jessica’s hand.
“Ya! Tiffany!” Jessica shouted when she lost contact with her. She tried to stop, but it was
near impossible. Seohyun had been propelling her forward at such a rapid pace that it was difficult
More Than You Know
43 | P a g e
enough for her to remain on her feet and avoid crashing into people, let alone stop. By the time
Jessica was able to rein Seohyun in and turn around, Tiffany was nearly lost in the crowd.
“Don’t worry” Tiffany called out. “I’m just going to check something out over there, call me
when you’re done!” With that, she quickly ran off to an adjoining alley, vanishing into the crush of
people.
When she reached a store at the front of the smaller alley, she quickly checked behind her to
make sure Jessica or Seohyun had not followed her. When neither girl appeared, Tiffany smiled and
turned around to face the store. It was one of the few in the marketplace that was not a stand or a
cart but actually within a building. Hanging on the front was a nondescript sign, but it was the
numerous ornaments and figurines perched on the front window that had caught Tiffany’s eye.
Checking one more time for any sign of her friends, she quickly passed through the overhanging
curtains and stepped into the dimly lit room. The interior was relatively large and had only a
handful of people browsing. Most of the furniture inside was made of aged wood, giving the room a
countryside feel to it. Towering shelves ran across the length of the walls with ceiling lamps spaced
every few feet, spotlighting the items on display. At the far corner, an old man, most likely the store
owner, sat by the register napping while a young man was crouched at a nearby shelf, halfheartedly organizing various trinkets.
Removing her sunglasses, she bowed a quick greeting to the crouched employee. The man’s
eyes suddenly widened in recognition as Tiffany smiled in acknowledgement. She then went over to
the nearest shelf and began inspecting the shiny baubles. She came across a wide assortment of
handkerchiefs, jewelry, and exquisitely decorated charms. But while they were all impressive, they
were not what she was looking for. Undeterred, she moved over to the next shelf. And then the next.
Shelf after shelf Tiffany came across with the same results. Nothing. Nothing here was good enough
for Jessica’s birthday gift. She had spent the past two nights browsing through every online
shopping site she could think of when she decided that she needed to see the items herself. The gift
had to be special and paging through websites would not be adequate. Now here she was in a
wonderful little gift shop and the fact that she could not find anything was maddening. Tiffany
prided herself in having an excellent eye for gifts, never having any difficulty finding them for her
father, brother, or sister. But for some reason, everything she looked at was just not worthy enough
to give to her Jessica. She was about to give up in despair when she heard a chuckling behind her.
Quickly spinning on her heels, she found the napping old man now standing next to her, his eyes
twinkling. Behind him was the young employee, his eyes glued to the floor.
“I know that look!” he spoke in a raspy voice filled with mirth.
“I beg your pardon, ahjusshi?” Tiffany asked. She was not sure if the man was senile and
began to feel uncomfortable.
“You’re trying to find a gift for your boyfriend, right?”
“W-what?” Tiffany immediately blushed. “No! It’s for a friend.”
“Ah, I see. A friend,” the old man raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Tiffany puffed her checks in protest and was about to defend herself when the shopkeeper
held up his hand. “It’s okay. I’ve seen that look many a time and I think I have just the thing for you,
young lady.” He quickly whispered to the employee who had been standing nervously behind him.
The young man immediately nodded and quickly hurried to the back of the store.
“While we wait for my grandson to return would you like to tell me a little bit about your
friend?” the old man asked. When Tiffany gave him a strange look, he returned it with a mysterious
smile. “It may help you pick out a gift.”
“Oh,” Tiffany paused to give the question some thought. “Well, my friend is an extremely
beautiful woman. She’s kind and tender, but has this cold exterior that really intimidates people. It’s
really quite funny since she’s about as soft and feminine as you can get. She can also be a bit
sarcastic and her humor is a bit…off, to say the least.” Tiffany stopped herself when she realized she
was rambling.
More Than You Know
44 | P a g e
The old man looked confused. “Your friend…is a girl?”
“Uhm, yeah,” Tiffany decided that maybe the man was senile after all.
The shopkeeper continued to stare at her for a few more moments before he abruptly began
to laugh. “Oh my, how the times have certainly changed!” he said, wiping a few tears from his eyes.
Tiffany was about to ask what he meant by that when the young man returned, carrying a
large wooden box.
“You have it?” the old man asked. “Good! Good! What are you doing standing there? Bring it
up to her!”
The nervous employee hesitantly stepped forward, holding the box in his trembling arms.
Tiffany smiled politely to try and get the man to relax, but the smile seemed to make him sweat
even more.
The shopkeeper sighed and turned to Tiffany. “Well Miss, since the boy here seems to have
lost most of his cognitive abilities at the sight of your pretty face, would you be so kind to remove
the lid?”
Tiffany reached over and slid the lid off. She gave a small gasp when she peered inside.
“They’re gorgeous!”
“Well go ahead! Choose one!” the old man encouraged.
Scanning over the items in the box, her eyes quickly rested on an exquisite piece. Without
hesitation she reached in to pick it up. “Ahjusshi, I’d like to buy this one,” she said triumphantly.
The shopkeeper chuckled and replied, “Very well, let’s go ring you up.” He paused in midstride and turned to his grandson. “And stop gawking, boy! Go make yourself useful!”
The young man quickly bowed to Tiffany and gave her one last awkward look before
silently taking the lid from her hands and scurrying away with the wooden box.
At the register, Tiffany winced when she saw the price total come up. Undaunted, she
reached into her wallet and paid the old man. She then gave the owner many thankful bows as she
left the shop, stopping once to even bow at his grandson, much to the delight of the young man.
Once outside, Tiffany was immediately blinded by the setting sun. She squinted as she
quickly put on her sunglasses and began heading back to where she last saw Seohyun drag Jessica.
The tall shadows casted in the evening made it difficult, but she eventually spotted the pair sitting
at a table nearby a rice cake stand. Seohyun had her sunglasses on top of her head and her mouth
full of food. She was looking in concern at Jessica, whose back was facing Tiffany. Jessica had her
phone to her ear and her free hand on the top of her head. Tiffany could tell by the way she kept
looking to her left and right that her friend was looking for her and was more than a bit worried.
Jessica cursed when Tiffany’s voicemail picked up again. She resisted the urge to throw the
phone on the ground as she quickly redialed the number. “What was that girl thinking?” she thought.
“She goes running off in a crowded area and says to call, but doesn’t pick up the phone!”
She was ready to stand up on the table and shout Tiffany’s name when she felt two hands
cover her eyes.
“Miss me?” a playful voice came from behind.
Jessica felt a wave of relief washed over her. She stood up to remove the hands and turned
around, fixing a glare on Tiffany.
“Sorry,” Tiffany apologized. Her hands pressed together, asking for atonement. “I think the
store I was in didn’t have any reception.”
Jessica maintained her glare. “How does that make it any better?!” she exclaimed. “Next time
just wait for us! You don’t have to go running off whenever you see a shiny object, okay?”
“Okay.”Tiffany smiled, much to the frustration of her friend.
Jessica sighed. There was no point in continuing. She only hoped the words got through the
tiny smiling eyes of hers. “So, what was so important for you to get that you had to ditch us?”
More Than You Know
45 | P a g e
“Huh?” Tiffany sat down and started poking through Seohyun’s tray of rice cakes. “Oh. Hehe.
It turned out to be nothing.” She then looked up to smile at Jessica and popped a rice cake in her
mouth.
Jessica fought the urge to force more rice cakes down her friend’s throat. Instead she sat
back down and began to vigorously rub her temples as Tiffany sympathetically patted her back.
“I’m sorry Jess,” Tiffany said as she consoled her. “Here, I have an idea! Everyone give me
your phones.” She took all three cell phones and powered them off before returning them.
“And what was the purpose of that?” Jessica asked.
“That way none of us will run off!”
“Unnie, is that such a good idea?” Seohyun looked worried.
“Of course it is! Now let’s keep moving! You don’t come to a marketplace to sit down!”

The girls spent another hour just browsing the marketplace before they decided to head
back home for dinner. When they stepped into their apartment they could hear Taeyeon’s voice
coming from the living room.
“Oh wait. Yeah, Jooyoung oppa, they’re home now. Uh-huh. Okay. I’ll talk to them about it.
Bye.”
Immediately following that conversation they heard Taeyeon’s voice ring down the hallway.
“Sica, Fany, Seohyunie! In here, NOW!”
The girls entered the living room where the rest of their roommates were. Taeyeon was
standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed and a cell phone in her hand while the
others were in various seated positions, ready to enjoy every minute of the show they were about
to see.
“Can you tell me what the three of you were thinking?!” Taeyeon made sure that each girl
felt her glare. Some took longer than others. “Jooyoung oppa just called. He said that you three had
disappeared on Anna unnie after filming was over! He also wanted to know how it was possible that
all your phones could have been off!”
“I’m sorry Taeyeon,” Tiffany said softly. “I was the one who turned off our phones.”
Jessica sighed and spoke up before Tiffany decided to shoulder the entire blame. “That’s
beside the point Tiffany.” She looked at Taeyeon. “Don’t get mad at the others. It was my idea. The
shoot ended early and I just got sick of waiting for Anna to pick us up. We couldn’t reach her so I
just figured we’d head off on our own.”
“I KNOW it was your fault! YOU of all people should have known better!”
Their leader began pacing around the room before stopping in front of Seohyun. The girl
was near tears as Taeyeon placed a gentle hand on her head. “Don’t worry Seohyunie. I know it’s
not your fault.” She turned to glare at the other two girls. “It’s definitely not your fault you have two
bad unnies.”
Tiffany winced.  Jessica stared.
When Taeyeon was certain that Seohyun was not going to cry, she took a step back and let
out a giant sigh. “Regardless of whose fault it is, all three of you need to call Jooyoung oppa and
Anna unnie to tell them you’re sorry. They both should be at the office, so call them now.”
“We will,” the three girls chimed obediently.
With the show ending, the other five girls got up to return to their previous tasks. Taeyeon
remained to make sure the three apologized properly. The troublemakers huddled around a cell
phone and Taeyeon could hear the stern, but concerned voice of Jooyoung oppa as he reprimanded
the girls over the speakerphone. The next voice she heard was the slightly irritated voice of Anna.
Personally, Taeyeon wished that she did not have a manager unnie like Anna. The woman seemed
to be only concerned about her own image, as if she were the one doing all the performing and
More Than You Know
46 | P a g e
singing. But since it was only for the short term, Taeyeon thought it best to remain silent. She pitied
the poor group that would eventually be under the psychotic woman’s control.
Taeyeon lost her train of thought as she noticed Jessica rubbing Tiffany’s back. Something
had recently happened to the two of them. But no matter how sly she was, it was near impossible to
extract any information from either girl. When Tiffany had first met Jessica, she would come home
from practice and talk constantly with her on the phone. And if she was not actively talking with her,
then she was actively talking about her. But then all that talking suddenly stopped. Taeyeon
assumed the two had a big fight and never really made up. She was not completely certain though
as the girls would not tell her anything, much like what was happening now. Though it would
appear that after all those years, the two had finally made up. But still, there was something that did
not feel right to Taeyeon, something that kept gnawing at her. She wished she could somehow pry
out the full story. If anything, it made for a nice change of pace.
The girls finally ended the conversation with their managers with another apology.
Afterwards, Tiffany immediately carried her bags into her room while Seohyun went over to the
kitchen to see what Hyoyeon was cooking. Jessica gave a slight yawn and slowly made her way
towards her room, telling no one in particular to wake her up when dinner was ready.
Taeyeon remained in the same spot as she debated on her next action. After a moment’s
pause, she made her way to the kitchen and caught Seohyun just as she was leaving. If the two
California girls were going to be stubborn, she would have to try getting her information elsewhere.
“Ah, Seohyunie,” she called.
“What is it unnie?” Seohyun asked as Taeyeon linked arms with her and dragged her back
into the living room.
“Can you tell me how Sica-unnie and Fany-unnie have been doing lately?”
“What do you mean?” Seohyun asked innocently.
Taeyeon chose her next words carefully. “Well, I just want to make sure that the stress isn’t
getting to them and they don’t kill each other.”
“Oh you don’t have to worry about that, unnie!” Seohyun was touched at how caring their
leader was. “They’re doing fine!”
“How so?”
“Oh, well I always see then giggling and whispering to each other during practice.
Sometimes Sica-unnie will walk by and pinch Tiffany-unnie out of nowhere.”
“Is that all?”
“Um, I guess sometimes it’s a tickle and not a pinch.”
Taeyeon laughed. While she could not get any specifics, if she had any doubts before, there
were none now. The two girls had finally made up and were doting over each other like newlyweds.
Still, she had a funny feeling that she was missing something.
Unable to mull the matter over while Seohyun was beside her, she turned to the younger
girl. “Help me set up the table, okay? Your unnie is getting too old to move around so much.”
Seohyun playfully hit her arm. “Unnie! That’s not true!”
Taeyeon winced in mock pain and replied, “You’re probably right. But I’m still going to need
your help since I can’t reach the dish cabinet.”
While the table was being set, Jessica came out of the bathroom and opened the door to her
bedroom, stifling another yawn. She frowned as she saw Yuri lying on her bed, waiting for her.
“You know, you seem to be in here more than me or Hyoyeon.”
Yuri sat up and smiled. “That’s impossible. You sleep too much.”
“Yeah, well apparently not enough. Now would you kindly get out of my room before I
throw you out?” Jessica stood with her hands on her hips as her friend continued to block access to
the bed.
“Oooh, touchy!” Yuri laughed. She rolled over on to Hyoyeon’s bed and patted the vacated
spot as if Jessica needed an invitation to her own bed.
More Than You Know
47 | P a g e
“Thanks,” Jessica dryly muttered before flopping on her back.
The two girls settled into a comfortable silence and just as Jessica felt herself dozing off, Yuri
spoke up.
“I gotta admit,” she said, still staring at the ceiling. “I would have bet money that it was
Fany’s idea to play hooky.”
“And why is that?” Jessica replied half-heartedly.
“Well, the whole thing felt like a Tiffany thing ya know? Impulsive, rash…fun.”
“Are you saying that I’m not fun?”
“You said it, not me.”
“Hey!”
Yuri turned to look at Jessica and gave her a grin worthy of a Cheshire cat. “But still, you
looked soooooo cool defending Tiffany like that!”
“Shut up.”
Yuri dramatically placed the back of her hand on her forehead. “Oh no! Taeyeon don’t blame
Fany! It was me and only me! I’m the villain! I’m the one you want!”
Jessica narrowed her eyes and growled in warning, “Kwon Yuri…”
Undeterred, Yuri clasped her hands together and held them by her face, fluttering her
eyelids. “Oh Sica, you’re my hero! What’s this I’m feeling? My heart won’t stop fluttering! I….I think I
love you!” Yuri then began kissing the air.
“That’s it!” Jessica immediately rolled over and tackled Yuri. Using her knees, she pinned the
girl down and began tickling her.
Yuri howled with laughter as she continued to make kissing noises while gasping for breath.
At the same time she brought her own long arms up and began tickling Jessica in retaliation. Within
seconds the faces of both girls were nearly purple from the lack of oxygen.
The door to the room suddenly opened as Tiffany walked in. “Guys, dinner is ready and
Sooyoung says she’s not going to wait-“
Tiffany paused as she stared at the tangle of limbs on the bed. Yuri had managed to worm
her way out from under Jessica’s body. She was now the person on top and currently had both of
her hands underneath Jessica’s shirt. Jessica, meanwhile, had been trying to throw Yuri off of her
and had her hands firmly planted on the girl’s bottom for leverage.
Yuri blew a lock of her frazzled hair straight up into the air and looked at Tiffany. “Fany, nice
timing! Want to join?”
“Eh, no that’s okay.”
Yuri gave a sly smile. “Ah, I see. You want Sica for yourself, right?”
“W-what?!” exclaimed Tiffany and Jessica.
Yuri chuckled and extracted herself from Jessica so she could exit the room. When she
passed Tiffany at the doorway she gave an exaggerated wink. Not knowing why, Tiffany felt herself
blush.
“Geez, that Yuri,” Jessica said as she sat up and let herself cool down.
“You two sure looked like you were having fun,” muttered Tiffany.
Jessica gave her look.
“What?  I’m just saying!” Tiffany defended. She then walked over to Jessica and began fixing
her hair.
Jessica closed her eyes as she enjoyed the hands running through her hair. An idea began
forming in her mind.
“Hey Tiff,” she murmured.
“Yeah?”
“After you finish watching your drama tonight, meet me in my room okay?” She winced as
Tiffany pulled a bit too hard on a knot “Bring a blanket and make sure you change into your
pajamas.”
More Than You Know
48 | P a g e
“Huh?”
She felt Tiffany smooth her hair a final time before reluctantly opening her eyes. Standing
up she turned to face her friend.
“Don’t forget, okay? After your drama, change and come to my room!” With that, Jessica took
Tiffany’s hand and led her out of the room.
“O-okay,” Tiffany replied as she was dragged along.
Dinner was a relatively quiet affair as the three girls tried to look sufficiently chastened in
front of Taeyeon. Their leader was no fool though.  She knew that the only girl that was sincerely
apologetic was the only one who happened to be innocent. Taeyeon, of course, did not let the other
two girls know that she was on to them. She figured if they wanted to make their dinner experience
as miserable as possible that was their business and not hers.  Besides, she had to suffer for half an
hour on the phone with Jooyoung oppa so it was only fair that she returned the favor.
After dinner, Jessica returned to her room and changed into her pajamas. The drama the
girls were watching lasted an hour so she attempted to pass the time by reading. Unfortunately her
effort was a total failure. Every five minutes or so, she would suddenly realize that she had been
turning the pages without reading a single word. Disgusted, she finally flipped her book onto her
night stand and looked at the clock. Only thirty-eight minutes had passed. Jessica let out a loud
groan and fell back onto her bed. Desperate to occupy herself, she began trying to touch the tip of
her nose with her tongue. A sudden knock at the door startled her so much that she nearly bit off
her own tongue. Jessica sat up as the door slowly opened and Tiffany stuck her head through.
“Jess?” she asked hesitantly.
Jessica raised one of her eyebrows, confused. “Why aren’t you watching your drama with
the others?”
Tiffany stepped through the door to reveal herself in a baggy pink cotton shirt. Her pajama
pants were of a lighter shade and decorated with little hearts. Tucked into her arms was a bright
pink fleece blanket. Jessica had the impression she was looking at the Valentine’s version of the
marshmallow man. She watched as Tiffany scratched the back of her head and gave a shy smile.
“Hehe, I couldn’t concentrate,” she replied. “I kept wondering what you were planning.” Her
eyes then opened wide in anticipation. “So what is it?”
Jessica smiled at the enthusiasm. “Stay here for a sec, I’ll be right back.”
She quickly went to the kitchen and pulled out a large thermos bottle from one of the
bottom cabinets. She then poked around the pantry to find some cocoa powder. Once she found the
can, she quickly scooped a few heaps of powder into the thermos and filled it to the brim with hot
water. Lastly she retrieved two mugs before returning to her room.
“Grab that blanket on my chair and the little radio,” Jessica instructed Tiffany and she came
back. She then lowered her voice to a whisper, “Follow me, but be quiet, I don’t want the others to
know what we’re doing.”
The two girls tiptoed their way past the distracted occupants in the living room and safely
reached the entrance of the apartment. Tiffany looked at confused as Jessica put on her slippers and
quietly opened the front door.
“Hurry up!” Jessica whispered.
“Outside?” Tiffany asked as she slid into her slippers.
“Yes! Now come on!”
Jessica led Tiffany into the elevator and wordlessly took her to the top floor. After exiting
the elevator, they continued up an additional flight of stairs.
Unable to bear the silence any longer, Tiffany asked loudly, “Jess, where in the world are we
going?” Her voice echoed up and down the stairwell.
“You’ll see soon enough,” she cryptically replied.
When they reached the top of the stairs, Jessica opened the door and grandly announced,
“We have arrived.”
More Than You Know
49 | P a g e
Tiffany stepped through and was greeted by the swallowing darkness of the night sky. They
were up on the roof of the apartment. A bright floodlight above the door illuminated a large deck
that extended over half of the rooftop. Various plants and bushes sat in large pots and lined the
edges of the deck. The vegetation showed little growth and few blooms as it had only begun to
awaken for spring. Off to one side was a slightly elevated wooden platform where a few rusted
gardening tools were scattered. Jessica approached the platform and placed the thermos and mugs
on it. She removed all the tools before taking the tiny radio and one of the blankets from Tiffany.
She placed the radio next to the mugs and turned it on, letting the soft music of a ballad fill the air.
She then opened the blanket and laid it out in the center. Taking off her slippers, she stepped up
onto the platform and turned around to face Tiffany with a smile.
“Milady,” Jessica said, offering her an outstretched arm.
Tiffany giggled and accepted the hand. “Why thank you, kind sir,” she said primly as she
took off her slippers and stepped up onto the platform.
Jessica guided her to the middle of the blanket and sat her down, immediately joining her.
She picked up the thermos and poured two steaming mugs of hot cocoa. Relieving Tiffany of the
pink fleece blanket, she gave her a warm mug in exchange. Jessica then placed an arm around her as
she tightly wrapped the fleece around both of them to ward off the cool night air. Enjoying the
warmth, Tiffany cradled her mug with both hands and leaned back into her friend’s body.
“Cozy?” Jessica asked, amused.
“Mhmm,” Tiffany replied with her eyes closed and a content smile on her face.
The pair enjoyed the hot cocoa and the warmth and softness of each other’s body. They
spoke in soft tones, not much louder than the music. Tiny giggles would occasionally punctuate
their whispered conversations as they shared silly stories.
The final notes of The Grace’s “My Everything” had finished playing as Jessica placed her
mug next to Tiffany’s empty one. She gave a small laugh as she listened to Tiffany finish a story that
Yoona had revealed to her about Kibum during the filming of the music video.
“With all the time Yoona spends filming videos for other groups, I’m surprised she doesn’t
have more embarrassing stories to tell.” Jessica said wryly.
“I’m sure it’s because all the boys are on their best behavior when she’s around,” Tiffany
explained. “They get so nervous and tongue-tied around her.”
She then leaned her head back into the crook of Jessica’s neck. “We need to do this more
often, Jess.”
“Your wish is my command.”
Tiffany laughed and turned around to face her. “I’m serious!” she exclaimed, slapping her on
the arm. “This reminds me of high school. You and me, talking late into the night about anything...”
“You mainly talking about boys,” Jessica wryly added before silently cursing. She was having
a perfect night and definitely did not need to remind herself of the futility of her pursuit.
“Hey! I’m not that bad anymore!” Tiffany protested. A thoughtful look then appeared on her
face. “Besides, I think I did that mostly out of habit.”
“What do you mean?” Jessica asked, furrowing her brow in confusion.
“Well,” Tiffany paused, thinking the matter over. “My sister was pretty much always boy
crazy. Since I idolized her, still idolize, I guess I tried to mimic that behavior. It gave me something
to share with her.”
Jessica felt her head spin as she let the information sink in. She had always thought that the
greatest obstacle to winning Tiffany’s heart was the little boy-crazy fangirl that made its residence
there. Now she had learned that the obstacle may not be as massive as she initially thought. For the
first time, Jessica felt that her dream was actually within her grasp. She felt her chest swell as if her
heart was about to burst.
Tiffany beamed a moon-eyed smile as she added, “Plus, it drove my brother insane when the
two of us would go on and on about any guy.”
More Than You Know
50 | P a g e
Looking at Tiffany, Jessica’s cheeks began to burn as all the blood in her body seemed to
rush up into her face. She wished she could live in this moment forever.
“Jess, you okay? You look kinda flushed.” Tiffany’s face took on a concerned expression as
she placed a tender hand on Jessica’s cheek.
“T-Tiff, could you…close your eyes for a moment?” Jessica asked in a wavering voice.
“Um, sure, I guess,” Tiffany responded, confused by the sudden change in topic. She
removed her hand from Jessica’s cheek and obediently closed her eyes.
Jessica felt her breath nervously catch in her throat. She had already failed once trying to
confess her feelings to Tiffany. This time she was not going to use words.
Swallowing, she raised her hands and cupped Tiffany’s smooth cheeks. Before the girl had a
chance to react, Jessica tenderly, but firmly, brought her mouth down upon her friend’s
unsuspecting lips.
CHAPTER 7:   HOW LONG HAS THIS BE EN GOING ON?
Jessica felt the rush of a current shoot down her spine as her lips met Tiffany’s. Her entire
body shuddered in reaction as she deepened the contact, eager to feel more of her friend’s
wondrously soft lips. Instincts quickly took over as she leaned in and deepened the contact. Feeling
possessed, she parted her mouth and delicately licked the girl’s lips. She could still taste the hot
cocoa on them. A chocolate-flavored Fany, she thought. It was heaven.
Tiffany, meanwhile, let out a muffled gasp as her eyes quickly shot open. A similar shock of
electricity had coursed through her body, leaving her utterly stunned. Without thinking, she
wrapped her arms around Jessica to prevent herself from falling over. She did not quite understand
what was happening to her. It was only when she felt a sensuous tongue tickle her lips that the full
import of everything struck her.
Jessica was kissing her.
A million questions raced through her mind at that point. What in the world was her friend
doing? Isn’t she a girl? Why would she kiss a girl? And why in the world did it feel so good? They all
remained unanswered as one overriding thought echoed in her mind.
JESSICA was KISSING her.
A shiver suddenly ran up her back as Tiffany involuntarily closed her eyes. Without thinking,
she pressed her body closer to Jessica, enjoying the softness.
HER body. With that thought Tiffany re-opened her eyes in panic. This was not right.
Summoning her strength, she brought her hands up to Jessica’s chest and pushed with all her might.
Jessica suddenly found herself staring up at the stars with a sharp pain at the back of her
head. She slowly got up and looked at Tiffany in confusion. The short-haired girl had backed herself
to the edge of the platform. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and a trembling hand covered her
mouth. Jessica could have sworn that Tiffany had been reacting positively to the kiss, but the
swelling on the back of her head told her otherwise.
“Tiff,” Jessica began softly. “Let me explain.”
“W-What do you mean, ‘explain’?!” Tiffany frantically replied.
“Calm down, okay?” she gently urged.
“I AM CALM! WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO ME!?”
“Tiffany!” Jessica barked, trying to break Tiffany out of her hysterics. She closed her eyes
and took a deep breath. This was definitely not the reaction she was hoping for. Actually, she did
not know what reaction she was looking for. She was fairly certain that the sheer terror Tiffany was
beginning to exhibit was not it though. When she exhaled she looked at Tiffany with pleading eyes,
almost in apology. “I…I’m in love with you.”
Tiffany could only stare. Her mouth opened and closed numerous times as she attempted to
get her words out. Finally she blurted, “You can’t be serious!”
Jessica sighed. She failed again. Tears began to well up at the corner of her eyes. “Why?” she
simply asked.
“Be-Because…well…you’re a girl!”
“Thank you for enlightening me,” she responded dryly. “That still doesn’t change the facts.”
“But it’s just so…wrong!” Tiffany exclaimed. Her voice had been steadily getting louder.
Jessica felt her stomach heave as the words sliced into her. She clenched her hands into tight
fists, willing her tears back. Pressing on, she spoke softly. “Fany, just hear me out, okay?”
“No! This…This must all be some sort of joke, right?”
Jessica frowned. That was the last straw. Tired of Tiffany’s histrionics, she raised her voice.
“A joke?” Her vision blurred as she glared at Tiffany with tear-stained eyes. “Is that what
you think my feelings are? A joke?”
How Long Has This Been Going On?
52 | P a g e
Stunned by the venom in her voice, Tiffany blinked a few times before recovering. “W-wait,”
she sputtered. “That’s not what I meant! I wasn’t clear-“
“You were very clear to me!”
“N-no, that’s not it!” Tiffany continued to struggle with her words. “I mean, I was just so
shocked. I would have never thought that you were...well….you know…like that.”
“Like what?” Jessica demanded. Her tears had begun to flow freely. “You mean gay? You can
say the word you know. It’s not like your hair will fall out if you do!”
Tiffany was now on the defensive. “I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just…I’m…I’m not like you! I
can’t be like you! I like boys! You know I do!”
“Are you trying to prove that to me, or to yourself?” Jessica asked, her tears running off her
off her cheeks.
Without waiting for an answer she quickly got up, causing Tiffany to visibly shrink away.
Jessica felt her heart tear in two from the action. She quickly turned around to prevent Tiffany from
seeing another round of tears.
With her back still turned, she dropped her voice down to a tired whisper. “I’m sorry you
feel that way. I hope…”
She sighed, interrupting her own sentence. Swallowing hard, she continued, “You know
what? I don’t care anymore.”
Jessica stepped off the platform and made her way back inside the building. Fighting the
urge to run, she headed towards the stairwell door with a deliberate pace. When she finally reached
the other side and closed the door behind her, she immediately began to sprint down the stairs. She
continued her high paced descent, not bothering to exit at the top floor to take the elevator. Within
moments, she began to feel a burning in her lungs. Jessica all but welcomed the pain as it allowed
her to ignore the agony in her heart.
Unable to see anything through her blurry vision, she did not care if she passed her floor.
Then without warning, she lost her footing as her slippers could not keep up with her feet. She
clutched on to the handrail, saving herself from tumbling several steps but landed painfully on her
tailbone. Letting out a sharp cry, she began to sob as the physical pain mixed with her heartbreak.
She brought her face down to her hands as her body was wracked with tears.
When the trembling began to subside, she lifted her face and leaned against the handrail,
taking slow, deep breaths. She felt completely empty. There was nothing left inside of her. For only
the second time in her life she had confessed her love to another girl. And just like the first time, she
had been miserably rejected. It seemed like she was cosmically fated to detest her life.
Back on the roof, Tiffany was still staring at the door. It was only when the radio suddenly
switched to commercials that she was jarred out of her trance. Annoyed, she fumbled for the noisy
device and violently shut it off. Still in a partial daze, she forced herself to stand and began to pack
up the items around her. When her hands came to Jessica’s mug she paused. Staring at the object in
her hands she noticed a lip-shaped chocolate stain on the rim. Without thinking she began to trace
the impression with her finger. Immediately her mind went back to the electric kiss that had been
unleashed on her. She closed her eyes as she briefly relived the moment, shuddering as she
remembered the soft, wet touch. Catching herself, she opened her eyes and abruptly shook her head,
forcing the memories away. She quickly finished packing and headed back to the apartment, trying
desperately not to think about anything.
Back indoors, she deposited the thermos and mugs in the kitchen, leaving the radio and
blankets on a chair before she hurried into her room. Once safely inside, she let out a sigh of relief,
thankful that she did not encounter Jessica.
“Unnie?” Seohyun asked, laying on her bed and looking up from a textbook. “Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, I just wanna get to bed.” Tiffany replied hurriedly.
How Long Has This Been Going On?
53 | P a g e
Even though she had yet to brush her teeth, she refused to leave her room for fear of
running into Jessica. She turned off the bedroom lights and crawled into bed as Seohyun turned on
a tiny book lamp and resumed her studying.
Tiffany stared up at the ceiling as her mind wandered back to Jessica’s confession. She could
still see Jessica’s tragic face as she declared her love for her. When Tiffany had first heard the words
she was too shocked to truly comprehend them. Now with the events constantly replaying in her
mind, there was no denying the warm feeling she felt in her stomach. It was terrifying. She did not
know what to make of it.
The entire foundation of her teenaged existence had been based upon observing and
cataloging the hotness of guys. But like she told Jessica, most of that intensity was artificial. It was
mainly used as a means to spend more time with her sister. Still, that did not mean she was gay,
right? She definitely appreciated the female form, but didn’t most girls? What was it her sister told
her? That 'most girls have a little bit of lesbian inside of them’?  She said, “it let us appreciate the
competition so we wouldn’t go crazy competing against each other.”
Tiffany had absolutely no idea what was happening to her. She was in turmoil over what she
wanted to believe about herself and what her body was telling her. Unable to resolve anything, she
turned her mind over to Jessica.
“How in the world could she do this to me?” she sullenly thought.
How long had she been having those feelings? To Tiffany it all seemed to drop out of the sky.
She racked her brain as she tried to think of anything in the past that would have indicated
something. Her thoughts suddenly flew back to last night, in Jessica’s room.
Because I love you.
Tiffany violently blushed at the memory. She grabbed a nearby stuffed animal and pressed
it over her face, screaming.
“How could I be so stupid?” she thought. She wanted to die.
Startled, Seohyun looked up and worriedly asked, “Unnie?! Are you okay?”
Releasing the plush animal, Tiffany turned her head to look at Seohyun. “Yeah. Sorry
Seohyunie. I just remembered something, that’s all.”
“Oh, what was it?”
Craning her neck, Tiffany stared at her roommate’s profile. “Say…what would you do if you
weren’t sure something was right?” she asked, answering the question with another question.
“Huh?” Seohyun furrowed her brow. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“It’s okay, it’s nothing. I think I’m just too tired for my own good.” Tiffany dropped her head
back onto her pillow and closed her eyes.
Seohyun stared at Tiffany for a moment before shrugging and returning to her textbook.

The next day Tiffany woke up to the alarm clock with a splitting migraine. She did not even
remember falling asleep. All through the night her mind was filled with thoughts of Jessica. She had
relived their entire four year relationship in her head, experiencing every event from a new
perspective. As she remembered every touch and recalled every hug, she could feel herself blush
and her pulse quicken.
Groaning, she shut off her alarm clock and shuffled out of her room to the bathroom, too
tired to lift her head. In the hallway she heard the front door open and close. Looking up, she froze
when she saw Jessica in front of her.
Jessica did not look much better than Tiffany. Her face was pale and her bleary eyes were
sporting dark circles. Upon noticing Tiffany’s frozen form, Jessica momentarily paused as well. Her
eyes slightly widened but other than that, her face showed no emotion. After a few quiet seconds
she silently turned away and headed into her room.
How Long Has This Been Going On?
54 | P a g e
Tiffany took a breath to call out to Jessica but nothing came out. She had absolutely no idea
what she was going to say and honestly, she really did not want to say anything. Releasing her
breath in a quiet sigh, she felt the throbbing in her head reassert itself. Letting out another groan,
she trudged into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
Tiffany spent the rest of the morning in a foggy daze, her headache never really leaving. To
make matters worse, the Sosogabek PD had scolded her numerous times as the filming took an hour
longer than normal. Even Hyesung, who normally let Tiffany take her lumps, seemed concerned.
Unfortunately, like most men, Hyesung could not simply be sympathetic. Instead, he kept asking
Tiffany how she was doing and would not stop trying to help her with her lines, further aggravating
the poor girl’s migraine.
When Tiffany had thought the worst was over, she found herself being lectured the entire
ride back home by her manager. Today she had been escorted not by Jooyoung oppa, but by one of
her other managers, Kim Seongkook, or Kookie-oppa as the girls affectionately called him.
Attempting to zone out her manager’s voice, her mind drifted back to last night. Specifically to one
question that Jessica had asked.
“Are you trying to prove that to me, or to yourself?”
Was she fooling herself? What if she was gay? Tiffany shuddered at the thought of her
already impressive base of antis multiplying. She thought back to when she heard the news about
Hong Seok-chun when he came out. She did not remember much since she was only in elementary
school at the time, but she remembered hearing her sister and her friends talk about it. He was on a
pretty popular children’s TV show and had been forced to resign from it and any radio programs he
was on. He had also been bombarded with numerous death threats and public denouncements in
every media format possible. Sure, there were people who supported him, but it seemed they were
greatly outnumbered by his detractors.
Would that happen to her? It terrified Tiffany to think of what her life would be like if she
could no longer perform. Girls’ Generation had become a part of her and in no way did she want to
sacrifice what she believed was her calling. The fact that she would probably become one of the
most ridiculed persons on the Dong Bang Shin Ki and Super Junior forums, maybe even SS501 as
well, only served as extra motivation to assert her heterosexuality.
“-and Jessica.”
Tiffany snapped back to reality when she heard Jessica’s name.
“Wait…what did you just say Kookie-oppa?” she asked.
“I told you not to call me that!” Seongkook complained. “Geez weren’t you listening? I said
we’re here, so hurry up when you get inside because you have practice with Seohyun and Jessica.”
He then parked the car and turned to look at Tiffany. “You’re going to be recording tomorrow so
work hard. I don’t want any more spacing out, okay?”
Tiffany calmly nodded, trying to ignore her racing heart as she got out of the car. How in the
world was she supposed to act in front of Jessica? What would she say to her? Judging from this
morning, she wondered if Jessica would say anything to her at all. By the time they reached the
front door, she was ready to pass out from all the anxiety.
It was quiet as they stepped into the apartment. It appeared that everyone was either out or
in their rooms.
“Go tell the others to hurry up and get ready,” Seongkook instructed to Tiffany. “I’ll be
waiting in the living room.” With that, he took off his shoes and walked in, his concentration focused
on his cell phone.
Tiffany sighed and went to her room to check on Seohyun.
“Seohyun ah,” she said as she opened the door. “I’m back, are you ready to go?”
On her bed, Seohyun lifted her head up from her ever present mandarin textbook. “Oh,
unnie! Already?” She hastily closed the book and stood up, stretching herself. “Okay, let me just
change. Can you wake Sica unnie for me? She told me to get her when it was time to go.”
How Long Has This Been Going On?
55 | P a g e
“Uh yeah, sure,” Tiffany lamely replied. She closed the door and worriedly looked at the one
across the hall. Desperately, she ran into the other bedrooms, earning an odd stare from her
manager. When she realized that they were all empty, she reluctantly made her way to Jessica’s
door.
Taking a deep breath, she gave a tentative knock. No answer. She tried again, this time a
little louder. When there was still no response, she gave three hard raps that left her knuckles numb.
“If Jessica’s asleep, you know she won’t hear you no matter how loud you knock.”
Seongkook’s voice came from the living room. “Stop wasting time! Get in there and drag her out!”
“Okay,” Tiffany sullenly replied.
Gritting her teeth she slowly twisted the knob and opened the door. Peeking in, she found
Jessica peacefully asleep on her bed.
“Jessica,” Tiffany loudly whispered.
When the sleeping girl gave no response, Tiffany gathered her courage and walked into the
room. Though her task was to wake the girl up, she still approached the bed quietly. She went
around to Jessica’s side of the two beds and stopped, silently observing the sleeping form. Jessica
was laid out on her back, fully dressed, obviously ready to go out on a moment’s notice. Her left leg
was loosely tucked in while her right arm extended limply over the side of the bed. The back of her
left hand laid across her forehead while her head was slightly tilted to the right. The afternoon
sunlight spilled in from the window and washed golden streaks of light over her body. All in all, it
was a rather dramatic pose.
“She literally makes sleeping an art form,” Tiffany wryly thought.
As always, Tiffany’s eyes eventually settled on Jessica’s sleeping face. Entranced by the
fluttering of her eyelids, she could only marvel at the intricate beauty of each defined eyelash.
Following the soft line of her delicate nose, she was soon fixated on Jessica’s mouth. Her pink lips
were barely parted, ever so slightly opening and closing with each breath. Tiffany licked her own
lips, wanting to moisten her friend’s sleep-chapped ones. One thought loudly made its way out from
her subconscious.
“If I kissed her right now, would it feel as good as last night?”
Tiffany felt her face catch fire when she realized what she had just thought. Closing her eyes
she scrunched her face and lightly knocked on her head with two fists, trying to shake the images
out of her mind. Frustrated, she dropped her hands to her sides and sighed, gazing at Jessica’s
peaceful face again.
“What did you do to me, Jessica?” Tiffany softly asked her friend.
Without thinking, she brought a hand up and gently touched Jessica’s face, lightly caressing
her cheek. Jessica had not stirred once through all the noise Tiffany had been making for the past
five minutes. But in response to the light touch, she moaned and her eyes began to flutter open.
Tiffany gasped and quickly withdrew her hand, taking two steps back. Jessica slowly sat up
and looked around the room with sleepy eyes. When her eyes found Tiffany, they shot open. But as
quickly as the look of surprise came, it just as quickly disappeared.
“Is there a reason you’re here?” Jessica asked her dispassionately.
Tiffany cringed at the cold sound of her voice. “U-um…Seohyun wanted me to um…ya
know…wake you …” She fixed her eyes on the ground, watching her toes and fingers fidget.
After a few moments of silence Tiffany heard rustling as Jessica got up from the bed and
briskly walked by her. Tiffany closed her eyes as she felt the light breeze and inhaled. Snapping
open her eyes she thought, “When in the world did I start trying to smell her?”
Before she could dwell on the discovery any further, Jessica’s flat voice interrupted her
thoughts. “Are we going to go? Or are you just going to stand in my room?”
Looking up she quickly turned around to see Jessica waiting by the door, arms crossed.
“S-sorry,” Tiffany muttered as she quickly followed Jessica out of the room.
How Long Has This Been Going On?
56 | P a g e
The girls joined Seohyun and Seongkook in the living room and all four headed out of the
apartment. Neither girl said a word on the way to the parking lot, letting Seohyun and Seongkook
do all the talking. Once inside the car, it soon became quiet as their manager focused on driving
while Seohyun took a nap. The silence soon became suffocating and Tiffany, despite sitting in the
front seat, felt extremely uncomfortable. Along the way, she glanced up into the rear view mirror
and found Jessica’s eyes staring back at her. The two held the stare momentarily before they both
quickly glanced away.
Staring out the window, Tiffany quietly sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time
that day. She was stuck. Once again, just when she thought her life had been near perfect, she found
herself lost in troubled waters. Still, there was a quiet voice in her head, nagging her.
“Is it really as hard as you think it is?”
Like the voice suggested, she knew there was an extremely simple solution to her problem.
She was just too terrified to think about it.
CHAPTER 8:   DO I LOVE YOU?
“You’re going home?” Taeyeon’s confused voice rang out across the dinner table.
Everyone stopped eating and turned to look at Taeyeon and Jessica.
Jessica poked at her plate of noodles. “Yeah, just for the weekend,” she replied softly.
Taeyeon stared at the girl next to her. Jessica, however, remained focused on her food.
When it was clear that Jessica was not going to say anything else, Taeyeon sighed and returned to
her meal.
“Just remember to get back by Sunday morning,” she said before slurping some noodles.
“We have two lives that night, okay?”
“I know,” Jessica replied quietly, her eyes still fixed on the plate in front of her.
The silence in the room remained as the girls looked at Jessica in concern. Two girls,
however, did not as they were preoccupied with other matters. Yuri was busy burning a glare
across the table while Tiffany, on the receiving end, was busy trying to disappear in her seat.
Yuri’s looks had become a regular phenomenon for Tiffany. It was part of the reason why
the past few days for her had grown progressively worse. Throughout the week, she and Jessica had
avoided contact whenever possible. When they did end up crossing paths, Jessica maintained her
indifferent attitude, never speaking. Tiffany, meanwhile, could do no better than stumble and
mutter, knocking over books and running into furniture in an attempt to find the quickest exit out
of the room.
To compound matters further, Tiffany now had to deal with Yuri. In the beginning, Yuri
would give worried looks to both her and Jessica. One day though, the stare evolved into a glare and
before she knew it, Tiffany had to avoid two girls instead of just one.
Yoona cleared her throat and asked Jessica tentatively, “Unnie, why are you going home all
of the sudden?”
“Huh?” Jessica looked up, distracted. She then spoke at just above a whisper, making
everyone at the table strain to hear her words. “Oh, my parents said they wanted to see me. They,
um, wanted to have a family dinner with my relatives and stuff…”
Jessica’s voice trailed off and the room was threatening to return to the awkward silence
when Yuri loudly spoke up.
“Ahhh,” she dreamily sighed. “I wish I could go home with Sica and enjoy her umma’s
cooking!” She then leaned over to Jessica, her hands clasped. “Remember when she came over and
made kalbi for us?”
“Ya, I remember!” Sooyoung shouted. “She kept giving you the biggest cuts!”
“It’s not my fault Sica’s umma loves me the most!” Yuri replied batting her eyelashes.
“That’s one mystery we’ll never solve,” Sooyoung pouted. She then turned to Jessica and
asked, “Sica, are you sure you can’t take Yul-seobang with you and get her out of our hair?”
Jessica gave a weak smile in response before she put down her chopsticks and quietly stood
up. “Actually, I’m pretty full now,” she announced. “I need to head out soon so I’m gonna go pack.”
The other girls worriedly watched as she took her half eaten dinner plate into the kitchen.
“Someone better say something to her, she looks pretty bad,” Sunny observed. “What in the
world happened to her?” she asked Hyoyeon.
“I dunno,” Jessica’s roommate replied. “One night she just vanished until early morning
looking like a wreck. I asked her what happened and all she said was ‘nothing’. She’s been like that
ever since.”
Tiffany shrank into her chair, making a point to not look across the table. She was pretty
certain she could feel the heat of the glare that she thought Yuri was giving.
Do I Love You?
58 | P a g e
“Well it may have something to do with her family, so hopefully going home will help her,”
Taeyeon reasoned. “If she’s still like this when she gets back, then we’ll say something. We don’t
need to stress her out anymore if we can’t help it, okay?” The others nodded in agreement.
By the time everyone finished dinner, Jessica was done packing and had called a cab. The
girls tried to casually chat with Jessica while she waited to leave. Tiffany, however, snuck back into
her room and occupied her time by going online. At first she attempted to go through her backlog of
UFO messages, but she realized that she was not in the right mindset to read them, much less reply
to any. In fact, she sourly thought, she did not think her mind would ever be right again.
After a few minutes, she heard muffled goodbyes and the front door opening and closing as
Jessica left. Tiffany sighed in relief. She then heard a knock on her door.
“Come in,” she called out. She paled and immediately regretted her words when she saw
Yuri come through the door and closed it behind her.
Yuri did not look happy. On the contrary, she looked quite the opposite. “We need to talk,”
she said tersely.
Tiffany’s mind raced for an excuse, but her mind went completely blank. All she could do
was stare blankly like a deer caught in headlights. Seizing the opportunity, Yuri spoke up. “What-“
The door suddenly opened and Seohyun walked in, nearly colliding with Yuri. At that
moment, Tiffany could not have been happier with her dear maknae’s study habits.
“Unnie!” Seohyun exclaimed, startled. “What are you doing here?”
Tiffany’s elation was short lived when she heard the next words out of Yuri’s mouth.
“Oh, um, Fany was going to…help me move some things in my room!”
“Do you need some extra help?” Seohyun offered.
“Of course!” Tiffany practically shouted, earning stares from the two girls, one confused and
the other irritated.
Before Seohyun had a chance to say anything, Yuri spoke up, “No, no, Seohyunie, it’s okay!
You need to study, right?” She then turned to Tiffany. “Come on Fany, let’s go.”
Tiffany swallowed uncomfortably. Unable to figure a way out, she lamely followed Yuri out.
She then gave quick prayer, hoping that Yuri’s roommate, Sunny, was still in their room. The prayer
quickly died when she saw the girl lying upside down on the couch, completely absorbed in playing
a video game. Tiffany knew nothing could save her now.
Yuri opened the door to her room and waited for Tiffany to enter, preventing the girl from
running away. Tiffany took small steps, trying to delay the inevitable. Once inside, Yuri closed the
door and spun around to face her.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.
“Huh?” Tiffany asked as she sat herself on Sunny’s bed.
“You know what I mean!” Yuri began pacing about the room. “Do you think that you can
avoid her forever? That the problem is going to solve itself?”
“Well,” Tiffany began.
“YOU caused this problem! It’s not going to go away if you ignore it!”
“Hey! SHE was the one who kissed me, okay! Don’t you think I have the right to be a LITTLE
weirded out?”
Yuri stopped pacing and threw up hands, exasperated. “Of course you do! What you DON’T
have a right to do is walk all over her feelings like that! Or is that how you normally treat friends?”
“That’s not fair!” Tiffany protested. “You only heard her side! Of course she’s going to make
me look bad!”
“She didn’t tell me anything!” Yuri shouted right back. Tiffany stared in confusion as Yuri
continued. “When I figured something was up between you two I cornered her, but all she would
tell me was that she kissed you.”
Do I Love You?
59 | P a g e
Yuri looked straight at Tiffany and spoke in a low, angry tone, “Do you honestly think that
she would say terrible things about you? When I kept pushing her to tell me more, all she said was
that she did the dumbest thing in her life.”
Tiffany looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment in Yuri’s eyes. But that did
nothing to alleviate the deep, burning sense of shame she was now feeling.
“I didn’t ask for any of this, okay?” Tiffany weakly protested, she stared at the fidgeting
hands in her lap.
“No one does!” Yuri exclaimed. “But guess what? In the real world, stuff like this happens!
And how you deal with it says a lot about the kind of person you truly are!”
Tiffany raised her voice to match Yuri’s. “Hey! How come you’re making me out to be the
bad guy? Why do I have to be the villain?!”
“Because two weeks ago I had never, EVER saw Jessica as happy as she was. And now she’s
looking as miserable as she did when all those stupid rumors came out before we debuted!”
Tiffany started. She had no idea it had gotten that bad.
“Do you realize how much she’s gone through because of you?”
“W-well…she’s put me through a lot of stuff too, okay?”
“Oh really? Do tell,” Yuri replied sarcastically.
Incensed, Tiffany quickly responded, “Yeah! Let’s not forget that she practically threw me to
the curb and ignored me for four years, all because of a stupid college guy!”
“What guy?” Yuri asked perplexed. She stared at Tiffany for a few moments, before slapping
a hand over her eyes. “Oh geez, are you serious?”
“What?” Tiffany said defensively.
Yuri sighed and put her hands on her hips as she tried to explain. “Think about it. If
Jessica…likes girls, then that college ‘guy’ is…”
Tiffany looked at Yuri, puzzled. Suddenly her eyes doubled in size. “Y-you mean,” she could
not finish her sentence.
“That’s right.”
“But, but that means, all the way back then, she was…”
“Yup…even back then.”
Tiffany fell back on the bed. Had Jessica thought about her that way, even back then?
Reading Tiffany’s mind, Yuri spoke up. “You know, she never told me this, but I’ll bet you my
life that she went to that tramp because she was feeling miserable about you.”
Tiffany put her hands over her face and groaned.
“You’re going to have to grow up, Stephanie.” Shocked, Tiffany lifted her head and looked at
Yuri.  Since their debut, Yuri had almost never called her by her real name.
“It’s never been just about you,” she said, continuing in a tired voice. “Jessica’s been
suffering just as much, hell, probably even more! She’s known about her ‘defect’ since junior high!
How hard do you think it was for her to hide it for so many years?”
Yuri sat down on her bed and stared at the opposite wall. “She could never share her true
feelings, always pretending to be just friends with someone when she wanted so much more. Then
someone takes advantage of that fact and she gets burned! Punished for wanting to express her
feelings! So she goes back to being the same old Jessica, holding it all in. For four years it just builds
and builds. One day she just can’t hold it in anymore and gives her feelings another chance.”
Yuri turned to look at Tiffany. “And what do you do?” she asked with accusing eyes. “You
just trample all over them. If I were you, I’d stop thinking about how miserable my own life is and
seriously think about what I’ve done to this poor girl.”
Unable to meet Yuri’s eyes, Tiffany looked away. Exhaling loudly, Yuri got up and walked
towards the door. She paused when her hand reached the knob. “If you can’t return her feelings, ”
Yuri called back. “You should at least tell her how you truly feel about her. She deserves at least that
much from you.”
Do I Love You?
60 | P a g e
Tiffany closed her eyes and listened to Yuri’s fading footsteps in the hallway. Mentally
exhausted, she could not will herself off the bed. Instead she laid there, replaying Yuri’s damning
accusations in her mind. The worst part was that she knew Yuri was right. The feeling of shame
now threatened to completely overwhelm her. She had only been concerned for her own image.
Absolutely terrified of what would happen to her if people thought she had feelings for another girl.
Not once did she stop to think of what Jessica had been dealing with for years. Instead, she avoided
the girl like the plague. As if she was a pestilence to be shunned from the civilized world.
So why was she so concerned about her image? Like any teenager, Tiffany was definitely
concerned with her appearance; it was actually part of her job. But she did not think she was
superficial to such an extent. Besides, if she wasn’t gay, shouldn’t she care less of what other people
thought? It was not like she was living in the States anymore. Over here, it was not a mainstream
idea that you could be gay. If any rumors got out, all she would have to do was publicly deny it and
trot out boyfriend. Problem solved. So why did it disturb her so much if people thought she was gay?
Because you’re afraid that it might be true.
Tiffany sat up. Could she be? But she honestly did not feel any physical attraction towards
women. Sure she admired other women’s bodies, but again, what girl didn’t? In fact, the only time
she even wanted to touch another woman was when she wanted to snuggle closer to Jessica when
they…
Oh my god.
Was that it? Was that the sign that she liked…women? Just because she wanted to nestle
herself closer to Jessica did not mean that she physically desired her friend! Did it? Was it really odd
that she could imagine Jessica’s body next to her at that moment? Was it peculiar that she could
remember all of her friend’s deliciously soft curves and how they would respond as she leaned into
them? Was it strange that even though she was on Sunny’s bed, when she closed her eyes, she could
easily smell Jessica’s hair? So caught up in her memories of Jessica, her body responded with the
familiar sensation of butterflies in her stomach. She had never known why her body reacted in such
a way, but now those butterflies were starting to make sense. Could it really be that she was
physically attracted to Jessica? How could she be sure? At the moment, there was only one way she
could think of.
Closing her eyes, Tiffany brought herself back to the kiss.
She remembered the sudden feeling of softness on her lips. She recalled how Jessica leaned
in to deepen the contact. But this time, instead of remembering the shock she had felt, all she could
think about now was the heavenly feeling of Jessica’s chest pressed to her and feeling the girl’s
heart beat loudly as if it were her own. She then felt Jessica’s warm tongue lightly run across her
mouth.
Tiffany audibly gasped as she felt a shiver run up her back all the way to the top of her head
and then back down to the tip of her toes. Realizing what had just happened, she quickly opened her
eyes.
Oh my god.
Tiffany fell back on to the bed and placed her hands over her burning cheeks. She knew she
was in for another sleepless night. As much as she did not want to think about it, this time, there
was no way to avoid her feelings.
“Why does this stuff always happen right before bedtime?” Tiffany moaned loudly in
complaint.
The bedroom door then opened as Sunny came through. She stared oddly at the intruder on
her bed before placing her hands on her hips and plainly stating, “Fany-ah, you know you have your
own bed you can scream from.”
Tiffany immediately sat up and prayed that the blush on her cheeks had faded. “Sorry Sunny,
Yuri and I were just…talking.”
Do I Love You?
61 | P a g e
Sunny went over to her bed and sat down next to the semi-blushing girl. “If that was talking,
then I don’t want to see how you two fight.”
Tiffany paled. “D-did you hear us?”
Sunny laughed. “Well I heard some pretty loud noises. I wasn’t sure if you guys were
skinning a cat or if Yuri was just trying to teach you how to sing trot.”
Tiffany sighed in relief, thankful that Sunny did not actually hear anything. Once she
stopped laughing, Sunny face took on a look of concern.
“Are you sure you’re all right? Yuri’s in the kitchen grinding some ma and muttering to
herself like a crazy old lady. You two NEVER fight. What in the world happened?” Sunny paused
before continuing hesitantly. “Does it have to do with Sica?”
“No!” Tiffany quickly exclaimed. Seeing the doubtful look on Sunny’s face, she tried to
explain herself. “I mean, we were just arguing over, um, something that happened on the last live.”
“Oh? What was that?” Sunny asked, not looking entirely convinced.
“N-nothing important,” Tiffany sputtered, trying to change the subject. She was not sure the
other girls would be prepared to hear what had happened. Hell, she still could not come to terms
with what had happened.
Depressed at just how crazy her life had become, Tiffany let out a large sigh and fell back
onto the bed. Sunny gave a sympathetic look and began stroking Tiffany’s hair.
“Fany-ah, seriously, what’s wrong?” Sunny asked gently.
Tiffany closed her eyes as she let the soothing motion calm her. She then reopened them
and looked up at her friend, considering what to say.
“What would you do if you weren’t sure something was right?” Tiffany asked the same
vague question she posed to Seohyun many nights ago.
Sunny stopped playing with Tiffany’s hair and gave her a confused look. “You lost me,” she
said.
“I mean, what would you do if you weren’t sure of what you wanted?” Tiffany got up as she
tried to clarify her question. “Like if you weren’t sure that you wanted to do something because you
thought other people would think it was wrong.”
“Well, is it wrong?” Sunny asked.
“No! Well, I don’t think it’s wrong. I mean, it’s okay where I’m from, but over here, I guess
some people may not like it…” Tiffany trailed off, unsure of how to explain herself.
Seeing the internal struggle play out on Tiffany’s face, Sunny patted her friend’s back. “It’s
okay Fany,” she said sympathetically. “All that matters is if YOU believe deep down whether it’s
right or wrong, all right?”
“I guess you’re right…”
“Of course I’m right!” Sunny loudly patted Tiffany on the knees. She then got up and
grabbed Tiffany’s hands, tugging them upwards.
“Now come on!” she said brightly, her voice jumping an octave. “You have to help Sunny! I
got a HUUUUGE tub of ice cream that needs to be finished before Sooyoung decides to!” She
performed a little shoulder shake and body sway as she spoke.
Tiffany laughed at Sunny’s antics. If there was one person besides Taeyeon who really
helped her with her problems, it was Sunny. In fact, since they became a group, the tiny girl had
always been available for her. At first, she would go to Sunny because Taeyeon was too busy with
her two roommates who also liked to turn to the leader for their problems. Sunny did not seem to
mind that she was second choice and sincerely listened to Tiffany vent all her frustrations. It then
surprised Tiffany to find out that Sunny trusted her enough to reciprocate and share her worries as
well. Soon the shortest girl in the apartment became Tiffany’s first and last stop for advice.
Tiffany allowed herself to be pulled up by Sunny and was about to head out the door when
she realized their destination.
“Wait! Isn’t Yuri still in the kitchen?” she asked worriedly.
Do I Love You?
62 | P a g e
“So?” Sunny demanded. “Are you going to avoid her forever just because you two had a
fight?”
Tiffany incoherently muttered as she looked down at her feet.
“That’s not like you at all! Where’s the bold girl who could charm anyone with her awkward
Korean?” She then pinched both of Tiffany’s cheeks, “Where’s my bright mushroom?”
Tiffany laughed and slapped Sunny’s hand away. “You’re too much, you know that?”
“Ah! There are my smiling eyes!” Sunny replied brightly with her own unique version of a
moon-eyed smiled. She then opened the door and pulled Tiffany out to the kitchen. “Now, let’s go!
Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!”
CHAPTER 9 :  WHY WAS I BORN?
Jessica woke up when she felt the cab shudder as its engine shut off. Shaking away the
remnants of sleep, she paid the cab driver and stepped out of the vehicle with the small overnight
bag she brought with her. After a brief stretch she shouldered her bag and walked down the alley
that took her from the main street to her house.
She paused when she came to the familiar black gate with the nameplate “Jung” written on
the nearby wall.  Jessica took a deep breath and readjusted the bag on her shoulders before opening
the gate. She briskly walked down the short pathway and fished out her house keys, desperately
wanting to enter and shut the door to the world behind her.
When she entered, she saw her mother walking in to the hallway, wiping her hands on her
apron.
“You’re home, already?” she asked, mildly surprised. “I didn’t think you would get here so
soon! Did one of your managers take you home?”
“No,” Jessica replied. “I took a cab.”
“You what?!” her mother exclaimed. She put her hands on her head. “What in the world are
you thinking? A young girl like you should never take a cab this late at night! Do you know how
many sickos out there would love to get their hands on you?”
Jessica opened her mouth to reply but was cut off as her mother continued. “And I don’t
mean ‘you’, I mean YOU, Jessica Jung! I’ve seen what they say about you on the Internet!” The older
woman shuddered at the thought.
“Okay mom, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” she apologized, putting on a contrite face. She
generally preferred not to fight with her mother before she could even take off her shoes.
“I mean, honestly, Sexica? I regret ever giving you your name. That was your father’s
brilliant idea, you know? He insisted-“
“Mom, it’s okay! I said I won’t do it anymore, all right?”
Jessica’s mother stared at her daughter before sighing and pulling her into a hug.
“Okay, okay, it’s good to have you home anyways.” She took Jessica’s bag and waited for her
to take off her shoes before she put an arm about the younger girl’s waist. “Come on, if you’re
hungry, we got some leftover dinner.”
Jessica smiled as she thought of enjoying her mother’s home-cooked meal. She had not been
eating much as of late and it seemed it was all catching up to her now.
She found her father sitting at the dinner table reading a book. At least it appeared that he
was reading a book. She knew better since his reading glasses lay perched atop his head.  Jessica
quickly hid her smile. Her father liked to present a tough face in front of his family, especially his
daughters. It was as if he felt like he needed to prove to the world that he was still as manly as ever
despite living in a house full of women. He would have been furious and more than a little bit
embarrassed if he knew that Jessica was on to his act.
“Daddy, I’m home,” Jessica called out as she sat down at the table.
“Oh, Soo Yeon!” Her father put down the book and looked at her with a convincingly
surprised expression. “I didn’t hear you come in!”
Her mother rolled her eyes before placing a pair of chopsticks and a plate of reheated food
in front of her. Jessica quickly placed a large piece of meat in her mouth to stifle her laughter.
The older woman sat down and rested her chin in her hands as she watched her daughter
eat. Feeling eyes on her, Jessica looked up.
“What?” she asked. “Do I have food on my face?”
“No, I was just thinking,” her mother replied. “I was so surprised when you called me and
said you wanted to come home today.”
Why Was I Born?
64 | P a g e
“Did something happen?” her father asked concerned.
“Huh? Oh, no! Nothing happened, everything’s fine. I just missed home.” Jessica rapidly
shoveled more food into her mouth to cut off anymore questioning. Unfortunately she managed to
choke on a grain of rice.
“Smaller bites!” her mother exclaimed. She quickly got up and filled a glass of water.
“Honestly, you look so unladylike when you eat like that,” she said when she came back and
handed the glass over to the coughing girl. “How do you expect to catch a man when-“
She bit her tongue midway through the sentence and uncomfortably looked away from
Jessica. Jessica’s father loudly cleared his throat and gave his a wife a look before returning to his
book. The room became awkwardly silent as Jessica drank the glass of water.
“So where’s Krystal?” Jessica asked after swallowing.
“Oh, she’s taking a shower,” her mother responded quickly. “She’ll be done soon.”
As if on cue, Jessica’s younger sister, Krystal came into the kitchen, rubbing a towel over her
wet hair. Her muffled voice came through the fabric covering her face, “I thought I heard a lot of
noise. What brings you back to this dump?”
“Soo Jung,” her mother warned.
“Sorry,” Krystal replied, not sounding apologetic in the least. Draping the towel over her
shoulders, she sat down at the table and leaned towards Jessica. “So what happened, are you guys
breaking up?” she whispered conspiratorially.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Jessica responded dryly. “Just remember, the better I do, the better
chances you get of debuting. You should be tending to my every need.”
Krystal then made a face. “I don’t know if debuting is worth doing THAT.”
“Can’t you two ever show more affection to each other?” their father complained.
“They’re like this because you let them get away with so much, you know,” the mother
chided. She then noticed Jessica’s empty plate.
“Oh my goodness, you’re done already? You really need to make sure to eat,” she
reproached.
“Mom, I think that’s the opposite of what she needs to do. Ow! That hurt!”
Jessica smiled sweetly at her sister before getting up. “I’m going to shower now, your hair
better not be all stuck in the drain.”
“As if!”

The shower was exactly what Jessica needed. The temperature and water pressure had
been the perfect medicine to clear her head. It was a great improvement from the apartment
showers where she had to deal with a pathetically weak stream of water that was either extremely
hot or extremely cold. Reluctantly, she got out, not wanting to run up her parents’ water bill. She
quickly toweled off and changed into her favorite pajamas. Softly humming, she left the bathroom
and went to her sister’s bedroom.
Rapping on the door, she called out, “Krys, do you have any lotion?  I forgot mine.” Jessica
opened the door and stepped through.
She found the girl on the bed, laying on her stomach and reading a script. “Huh?” Krystal
asked as she looked up, distracted. “Oh yeah, it’s on top of my dresser.” She immediately returned to
the script, muttering incoherently.
Jessica walked over and retrieved the bottle of lotion. Curious as to what her sister was
doing, she went over to the bed. Krystal’s body shook as Jessica sat down, but the girl was focused
staring at the highlighted lines in front of her, continuously mumbling. Jessica strained her ears as
she dabbed some lotion on the back of her hand.
“Oh Romeo, Romeo, why is your name Romeo?”
Jessica snorted in laughter as she nearly squeezed out the entire bottle. Krystal turned
around and glared.
Why Was I Born?
65 | P a g e
“Something funny?” she asked icily.
“Yeah, your lines,” Jessica replied bluntly. She began rubbing the lotion on to her face and
asked, “You know they’re completely wrong, right?”
Krystal turned back to her script. “Of course I do! What do you want me to do? Tell the
director that his lines are stupid? I’m sure he’d enjoy hearing that from a fourteen year old.”
“Well, if you have any problems, just let your big sister know.”
“Thanks,” Krystal said dryly. “I don’t think there’s going to be much crying though.”
“Hey!” Jessica threw a pillow at the back of the younger’s girl head. “That’s the thanks I get
for offering my services!”
Krystal laughed and removed the pillow from her head. She then sat up and turned around
again to face her sister. This time, instead of a glare, she had a concerned look on her face. “Jess, did
something happen?”
“Huh? Why would you say that?” Jessica replied a bit louder than she intended.
Krystal gave a look. “Come on, I’m not an idiot you know. You just came home out of the blue
looking like you hadn’t slept for days. Add that to the fact that you wolfed down the leftovers like a
starving orphan, I’d say something happened.”
“I-its nothing big,” Jessica mumbled. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Then why did you come home?”
“I came home cause I missed you guys…honestly.”
Krystal raised an eyebrow in doubt. She then sighed in resignation and suddenly put on a
mischievous face.
“Don’t tell me! It’s boy trouble?”
“WHAT?!” Jessica opened and closed her mouth, no words could follow.
“Ahh! I knew it!” Krystal fell back on the bed and kicked her feet into the air. She then
rocked herself back up, her face inches away from Jessica. “So who is it? You gotta tell me! It’s
Donghae oppa, isn’t it? I knew it the second I read it on daum! Why did it have to be him!? He’s
mine!”
Jessica finally managed to regain control of her tongue and quickly tried to halt her sister’s
thoughts from running too far away. “No! I don’t-“
“Wait! But then that means you’ll have to bring him home to see mom and dad!...This could
still work! I need to go buy a new dr-OW!”
Krystal rubbed the bright red welt on her shoulder. “Why did you pinch me!?” she
demanded.
Jessica gave a look. “Just trying to bring back down to planet Earth. Relax, okay? It’s not boy
trouble.”
“Oh, so you and Donghae oppa are okay then,” Krystal said in a depressed tone.
“Donghae and I are nothing, idiot!” Jessica replied, pinching Krystal in the same spot. “I told
you to stop believing what those websites say! You shouldn’t even be reading those rumors!”
“Aish, do your fans know how violent you are?” Krystal whined rubbing her arms.
“Not yet,” Jessica replied with a wry smile. She then got up and patted her sister’s head.
“Thanks for the lotion. I’m off to bed.”
“Huh? Oh okay.”
Jessica stopped halfway to the door and turned around. “And thanks for um…you
know…worrying about me.”
Krystal gave a big smile. “No problem! Guess I should have been the unnie, huh?”
Jessica narrowed her eyes. “I’m gonna let that slide. You only get two of those a year, okay?”
Krystal laughed, “Whatever.”
Jessica quietly headed to her old bedroom. Once inside, she flopped face down on to her bed.
While the shower had cleared her mind, her conversation with Krystal reminded her why she was
home. Now, like the previous nights, she was haunted by the memories of her and Tiffany on the
Why Was I Born?
66 | P a g e
roof. She could still see Tiffany shrinking away from her, afraid to touch her. Even worse was the
clarity in which she could remember the terrified look on her face. Did Tiffany see her as a monster?
Jessica fought back the tears. She was sick of crying. That was all she had been doing the
past week. The problem was that the pain in her chest felt as fresh as ever. She knew she was being
stupid. She was acting like those angst-filled sixteen year old girls who just been dumped. As a
matter of fact, those silly girls had always been a delightful source of humor to Jessica. It didn’t
seem so funny now that she was on the weeping end.
Frustrated, she rolled on to her back and wiped her eyes. Sniffing loudly, she wiped her nose
with her shoulder. She needed to pull it together. The others girls were getting pretty suspicious of
her behavior. She could see the looks they gave each other from the corner of her eyes. They had
even started treating her like a fragile object. It had been extremely awkward when she was waiting
for the cab to arrive. All the girls, minus Tiffany of course, came up to her and spoke gently, saying
the most encouraging words they could think of. It would have been touching had she not been
irritated by the way the girls walked on eggshells around her. She had to get over her weepy
feelings for Tiffany. If she didn’t, it wouldn’t be long before the girls tried to bottle feed her.
With that determined thought, Jessica shifted to get herself under the covers. Grabbing one
of her pillows, she hugged it close to her, imagining it was a bright and cheery short-haired girl.
CHAPTER 10:   I GOT IT BAD (AND TH AT AIN'T GOOD)
Tiffany shaded her eyes as she stepped out of the car. The gloomy days of winter were
starting to pass and the sun was beginning to shine cheerily all over Seoul.
“Jerk,” Tiffany irritatingly thought to the offending gaseous giant.
With a single purpose, she began to briskly walk across the sunny parking lot towards the
large building.
“Tiffany, slow down!”
Tiffany turned around to see Hyoyeon and and Seongkook step out of the car. Embarrassed,
she made her way back and sheepishly replied, “Sorry, just eager, I guess.”
Hyoyeon looked at Tiffany oddly. “Are you all right? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this
geared up for a dance practice.”
“Hey! Don’t find fault with Tiffany’s desire to work, you should commend her!” Seongkook
said. “Just because you guys are on break, doesn’t mean you get to slack!”
Desperate to avoid one of her manager’s famous lectures, Tiffany quickly spoke up, “Thanks
Kookie-oppa!”
The man gave her an irritated look. “Stop calling me that!” he complained. “Anyway, I’m
going to check my mailbox and take care of some stuff. You girls give me a call if you need me okay?
Jooyoung should bring the others around four.”
Both girls nodded and watched their manager go ahead. Hyoyeon then grabbed Tiffany’s
arm and gave a little giggle as the girls began walking at a leisurely pace. “Yay! I get to spend time
alone with Fany! We haven’t been on a dancing date in a while, huh?”
“W-what!?” Tiffany replied, startled.
Hyoyeon looked at Tiffany, “Something wrong?”
Trying to recover she gave a weak laugh. “Oh…heh, yeah. You know how much I missed you
pushing me around and abusing me during these little practice sessions. I’m just a little masochist
at heart.”
Hyoyeon laughed. “Ah, who knew Fany was so kinky? I didn’t know you lived such an
alternative lifestyle.”
“You have no idea,” she quietly muttered. Tiffany shook the thought out of her head as she
was certain it was bound to lead to thoughts of another girl.
And that was the problem. Since her “discovery” from Friday night, Jessica Jung was all she
could think about, robbing her life of any semblance of normalcy. It was not long before she decided
that she wanted, needed, to get out of the apartment before Jessica returned. The thought of seeing
Jessica again made her extremely nervous. She had absolutely no idea how to act in front of the girl
now that she sort of knew how she felt.
“Sort of.”
Tiffany almost laughed at that thought. She was clearly more than “sort of” certain, but she
was determined to double and triple check her findings. So far, the results all maddeningly pointed
to the same conclusion.
“Chicken,” she quietly berated herself. But really, what was she going to say to Jessica when
she saw her?
“Um, yeah hi Jess. Sorry, I kinda freaked out on you like that. But it’s okay! I think you’re hot!”
Yeah, she was so not ready to see Jessica.
Today, they were all supposed to head out to the studio to get ready for two concerts later
that night. Tiffany figured going to the studio early was the best way to avoid Jessica until the last
possible minute. She would have went to the studio by herself, but truthfully, she hated being alone.
Poor Hyoyeon was enjoying a nap and had the bad luck of being the only other person in the
I Got It Bad (And That Ain’t Good)
68 | P a g e
apartment. Tiffany woke her up and got her to come with her under the pretense that the dancing
queen would help her with her steps. Tiffany considered herself lucky. An afternoon of Hyoyeon’s
intense training was exactly what she needed to distract herself. Hyoyeon, on the other hand,
considered herself quite the opposite. She figured she was being punished for picking up such bad
sleeping habits from her roommate.
The pair ambled their way to the main building as Hyoyeon discussed which dance moves
she wanted to see. Tiffany nodded absently, preoccupied with trying to figure out how to greet
Jessica. Her plan to not think about the ice princess was already starting off on the wrong foot.
Distracted, Tiffany nearly ran into a girl standing by the doors of the building, hoping to catch a
glimpse of her favorite idols.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Tiffany quickly apologized and bowed her head.
The fan gave Tiffany the dirtiest look she had ever seen as both she and Hyoyeon watched
the girl walk away, nose high up in the air. Hyoyeon turned to look at Tiffany, a mixture of
amusement and disbelief shown on her face.
“Wow,” she silently mouthed.
Tiffany was about to agree when a voice came out from behind her.
“As always unnie, your popularity never ceases to amaze me.”
Hyoyeon and Tiffany turned around to find the smirking face of Krystal Jung.
Just as Krystal was about to greet her unnies, Tiffany quickly ran over to her with Hyoyeon
not far behind.
“Wah! Krystal! I haven’t seen you in forever!” Tiffany shouted. She swallowed the tiny girl
into a gigantic hug.
“I heard you’re going to film a CF soon! Congratulations!” Hyoyeon joined in, smothering
any remaining parts of Krystal’s body that were still exposed.
“Um unnies? Guys? I can’t breath.”
The two girls disengaged themselves from their dongsaeng to give her some air.
“Sorry,” Tiffany replied with a smile, something she couldn’t help but do every time she met
the girl. “So how are you?”
“That’s beside the point, unnie!” Krystal complained. “Why do you let those brainless girls
push you around? You should beat them up! Or at least make a couple of manips and post them,
that’ll make them cry! I swear, if you don’t do it, I will!”
Tiffany tried not to laugh at Krystal’s passion on the subject matter, else the little firecracker
would redirect that intensity on her. The tiny girl was truly Jessica’s opposite. While Jessica had the
look of a disinterested and arrogant princess, the elder sister was in fact a sensitive and touchyfeely sort of girl. Krystal, on the other hand, looked the part of an obedient and sweet younger girl,
one you could imagine running down the street happily screaming “oppa!” To the contrary, she was
rather forward and had a surprisingly cynical and sarcastic view on life, despite her age.
Krystal looked past the shoulders of Hyoyeon to spot the rude fan girl who was now at the
other side of the building. She then attempted to burn a hole through the girl’s body with a
devastating glare. When that did not work, she went to plan B and stuck her tongue out.
When she was done cursing the fan girl, she looked at Tiffany and continued her diatribe.
“Wasn’t it funny the way she walked away? I think she was trying to prove that she was more of a
woman than you. All I saw was a girl violently shaking her butt.”
“Krystal,” Tiffany spoke, trying to calm the younger girl as if she was the slighted party.
“Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s my fault they act like that…
Krystal blew out her breath, exasperated. “You are just WAY too nice for your own good,
unnie. Can’t you see they’re Dementors! They feed off the souls of boy bands and use that energy to
spread unhappiness throughout the world!”
I Got It Bad (And That Ain’t Good)
69 | P a g e
Tiffany attempted to stifle her laughter again while Hyoyeon quickly changed the subject,
also fully aware of the dangers of Krystal’s personality. “So how’s it been with Jessica back home
again?”
Krystal frowned. “Oh yeah, that reminds me, I wanted to ask you guys something.” She
paused and looked at both girls. “Did something happen with unnie recently?”
“Nothing we know of,” Hyoyeon responded. “We thought something happened back home
with you guys, right Fany?” Hyoyeon turned to look at Tiffany.
Tiffany looked away, feeling extremely uncomfortable. “Huh? Oh, um, yeah…”
She forced herself to look at Krystal. With an unnatural smile, she tried to act as natural as
possible. Krystal looked at Tiffany strangely before continuing. “No, she just came home, out of the
blue, looking like she hadn’t slept for days.”
“Is she still pretty bad, then?” Hyoyeon asked worriedly.
“No, she looked a lot better today, but I don’t know, she could just be hiding it.” She then
turned to look directly at Tiffany. “You’ll let me know if you guys find anything, right?”
“Um, yeah, sure thing.” Tiffany flushed and coughed, trying to avoid the younger girl’s eyes.
Krystal raised an eyebrow at Tiffany’s behavior. “Well, I’ll let you two go. I have some
practice I need to be doing too. What are you guys doing? Don’t you have a concert later tonight?”
“Yeah, two actually,” grimaced Hyoyeon. “We were going to work on some dancing before
then.”
Krstyal gave an unladylike snort. “You mean Stephanie unnie is going to work on some
dancing, right?”
Before Tiffany had a chance to be offended, Krystal spoke up again, “Alright, I really need to
practice my showcase piece, so I’ll catch you guys later! Bye unnies!” She gave Tiffany one more
curious look before waving and running into the building.
Tiffany had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. How much did Krystal really know about
her sister’s problems? Maybe she was being too self conscious. Krystal may have just thought she
had gas or something.
Before she could dwell on her troubled thoughts any longer, Hyoyeon spoke up.
“Did you hear that?! Sica made all that stuff up about her parents wanting to see her!” Her
forehead wrinkled as she looked worriedly at Tiffany. “What in the world is going on with her?”
Panicking, Tiffany quickly spoke up. “Hyo, I think we should, um, you know, wait.”
“Wait?”
“Yeah, I mean, wait a bit before telling the others about…this. I mean we don’t know the
entire story yet, right?”
“Well…”
“Only for a bit! Like Taeyeon said, we don’t want to amp up the drama anymore, right?”
“Okay…if you say so,” Hyoyeon reluctantly complied, clearly looking unconvinced.
Tiffany mentally sighed in relief as the two resumed walking. Things were getting way out
of hand. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to have to talk to Jessica. The question was if
Jessica would actually give her a chance to speak. Tiffany knew that was a chance she did not
deserve.

Jessica shifted her feet in irritation as she waited for the elevator doors to open.
“You’d think the company wouldn’t be so cheap and put us in an apartment that actually had a
working elevator,” she thought.
When the doors finally opened, she stepped through and took a deep breath. The last thing
she wanted to do was become agitated. Despite some early troubles, last night was the first time in
a long while where she got more than two hours of sleep. In fact, the first thing she did when she
I Got It Bad (And That Ain’t Good)
70 | P a g e
woke up was to stretch and then immediately go back to bed. Her mother finally dragged her out of
bed for lunch, complaining about how lazy her daughter had become. Nagging mother aside, Jessica
felt much better today. But then again, almost anything was an improvement over the past few days
for her.
At the very least, she could say that she no longer grew weepy at the sight of pink. Poor
Seohyunie had no idea what hit her, Jessica bemusedly thought. One moment the maknae was
giving Jessica a pink pen, then next moment she was sitting wide-eyed next to Jessica with a box of
tissues, not quite sure how to console her unnie.
The elevator finally dragged itself up to her floor and the doors shuddered open. Jessica
gripped the shoulder strap of her bag tightly and took a few more calming breaths as she walked
towards the apartment door. She wanted to enter as calm and relaxed as possible, not giving
anyone a chance to worry about her. With that thought, she smoothly opened the door and
gracefully stepped in. Almost immediately, she saw Jooyoung step into the hallway, his eyes ablaze.
“Where in the world have you been??” he practically shouted
“So much for that idea,” Jessica thought dryly.
“Our first concert is at seven, it’s already three-thirty, are you insane?!”
“Sorry oppa.” Jessica made sure to sound as contrite as possible. “It won’t happen again.”
Jooyoung opened his mouth, but no words came out. Unable to continue yelling at a girl
giving such a sad face, he sighed in defeat. “Fine, just go get your stuff ready, we’re going to leave in
10 minutes.” He then walked away, muttering to himself.
After Jooyoung left, Jessica was greeted by the rest of the girls. Though “greeted” was a
generous term.
“It’s not fair!” Sooyoung complained. “We just had our ‘goodbye’, doesn’t that mean we
should be gone? Why do we have more activities?” She then grabbed Jessica’s arm and tugged on it
like a pouting child. “I want a vacation like Sica!”
Jessica laughed, “We can’t stop working because it costs so much to feed you.”
Everyone in the hallway hesitated for a moment before they all laughed and pushed
Sooyoung around. Jessica saw the exchange of relieved looks and forced down the urge to scream in
frustration, plastering a fake smile on her face instead. Yuri, however, was not buying it. Her best
friend was standing off to one side with a concerned expression on her face. Trying to avoid looking
at her, Jessica turned to the other girls who were still goofing around. She frowned. There were only
five girls in front of her. With a casual tone she asked, “So um, where’s Tiffany…and Hyoyeon?”
Yuri narrowed her eyes and responded, “They went to the studio earlier. Why do you ask?”
“Oh…no reason, just curious,” Jessica said as neutrally as possible. “Well, I’m going to get
ready to go then.”
She quickly went into her room and with an inhuman amount of self control, gently closed
the door behind her. She did not restrain herself, however, from violently throwing her overnight
bag onto her bed.
“Rggh!” She let out a frustrated growl and began muttering to herself. “Is she still trying to
avoid me?! What does she think I’m going to do? Molest her?”
The twisting pain in her chest had returned. Jessica felt tears begin to form when she heard
a knock on her door. Quickly wiping her eyes, she called out, “Come in.”
Yuri stepped through the door and closed it. Jessica kept her back turned, trying to hide her
watery eyes as she putted around the room, moving random items from one place to another for no
particular reason.
“Sica, are you okay?” Yuri asked cautiously. “I mean seriously, are you?”
Jessica stopped moving and turned to give Yuri a tired smile. “Yeah Yul, I’m fine. Thanks for
asking.” She looked away and continued, “You don’t have to worry about me anymore, okay? I-I’m
over her.”
I Got It Bad (And That Ain’t Good)
71 | P a g e
“Fine, whatever you say.” Yuri heaved a sigh before walking over to give Jessica a bear hug.
“Just let me know if she gives you any more trouble, okay? I’ll keep her in line.”
Jessica put on a doubtful face.
“Seriously!” Yuri claimed. “I can…I dunno…I can…hold her massage chair hostage or
something? She can only use it if she’s on good behavior.”
Jessica looked at Yuri disapprovingly. “Yuri-yah, don’t’ go causing any trouble, okay? I
started this mess, so don’t go making her life any more difficult than it is.”
She then paused and looked at Yuri closely. Her friend was looking everywhere but at her.
“You did, didn’t you?” Jessica accused.
“What?” her friend replied defensively. “I just…talked to her for a little bit. You know, make
sure that I got her side of the story…that’s all…”
Jessica glared at Yuri. The girl cracked a guilty smile under the pressure of the stare. “Mian
hae?” she responded weakly.
Unable to maintain the angry expression any longer, Jessica sighed and smiled back. “Yah,
Kwon Yuri,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “When did you become such a thug?”
“Ehe, just watching out for my girl,” Yuri broke out into a full smile when she was certain
Jessica was not going to yell at her. She then paused before adding, “Even if it was at the expense of
another one of my girls…ahhh! So confusing!” Yuri violently shook her head
Jessica laughed, “Well it’s nice to know where I stand on the totem pole of friends.”
Yuri looked up and gave Jessica another hug. “Of course! Bro’s before ho’s ya know?”
Jessica pulled her head back to give Yuri a strange look.
“Well, actually I guess it should be ho’s before ho’s, right?”
Jessica raised an eyebrow.
“Sis’s before ho’s? Oh no wait! Sica’s before ho’s!”
“You should have stopped talking thirty seconds ago.”
“Ackpth! Nevermind that!” Yuri reached around and loudly slapped Jessica’s rear end.
“Come on! We better get going before Jooyoung oppa gets an aneurism.”
Jessica sorely rubbed her rump as her eyes shot daggers at Yuri. Recognizing the expression,
Yuri quickly ran out of the room, her hands protecting her posterior. Jessica followed close behind,
her hands swinging wildly for their round target.
CHAPTER 11:  FROM THIS MOMENT ON
Tiffany sat on the bench with her hand under her chin.  At the moment, she was under a
canopy that sheltered her and some of the film crew from the drizzling rain.  She heaved a sigh as
she stared out into the gloomy sky.  The sprinkling had stopped for the moment, but the entire
amusement park was already wet.  Just a few days ago, she had been cursing the bright sun. But
now that she had weather more appropriate for her mood, she immediately wished for the return
of the damned fireball.
Turning her head at the sound of laughter, she immediately felt her blood begin to boil. At
another bench on the other side of the canopy, Jessica and Changmin had been diligently practicing
their scene.  Jessica was supposed to suddenly move away, causing a lovesick Changmin to fall
down.  Apparently Jessica had not moved out of the way fast enough and now Changmin was on top
of her Jessica.
Now Tiffany enjoyed cute things as much as your average fare girly girl, but the cutie-pie
routine that the two were practicing was just getting on her nerves.  In a bid to quell her stomach
from upheaval, she got up and braved the rain soaked ground to take a brisk walk.
The cold air woke her up as she stepped out under the gray sky, away from the portable
heaters.  She needed to stay alert as filming was scheduled to go late into the night.  She, Jessica, and
Yoona had been selected by Anycall, along with their oppas from Dong Bang Shin Ki, to film a series
of commercials marketing their new cell phones.  Thankfully each of the girls had their own
storylines to follow so thus far, her interaction with Jessica had been minimal.  She shuddered at the
thought of trying to film a scene with her. The last time she had tried talking to the girl was last
Sunday when she had returned from her parents’ house.

- Last Sunday
“…and six, seven, eight…”
Tiffany shook her hips for what she thought was the billionth time.
“Hey! You got it!” Hyoyeon cheered.
Tiffany immediately slouched over and began rubbing her posterior. After two exhausting
hours of trying to master the dance steps, she was finally rewarded with a sense of accomplishment,
and a sore butt.
“Uaaah!”
Both girls turned around to see Taeyeon walking through the door. “My Fany is getting
pretty sexy when she dances now!”
Tiffany smiled and walked over as the rest of the girls came through the door.  The smile
quickly disappeared and she hesitated when Jessica stepped into the room.
Taeyeon walked over and snapped her fingers in front of Tiffany’s face. “Hey! Don’t zone
out!” she said with a smirk. “You were looking so sexy before, don’t go Ddilfany so soon and ruin all
your hard work!”
Before Tiffany had a chance to react, Taeyeon wrapped her arms around in a hug. “It’s okay,
I have a silly husband.  No matter how sexy she tries to be, she shall remain true to form.”
Still in Taeyeon’s embrace, Tiffany glanced uncomfortably at Jessica.  Jessica gave a brief
glare before she turned away.
Hyoyeon then called out to Jessica.  “Hey Jessica, we saw Krystal today!”
Jessica looked sharply at her roommate before catching herself. “Oh yeah?” she calmly
replied. “What did she say?”
Hyoyeon glanced at Tiffany before speaking, “Um, nothing much. We just chatted.”
From This Moment On
73 | P a g e
Tiffany slowly released the breath she had been holding.  Taeyeon looked oddly at Hyoyeon
before turning the look to Tiffany. Tiffany tried to smile casually, but Taeyeon was not buying it.
Before the leader had a chance to say anything, Jooyoung and Seongkook came into the
studio with Karen close behind.
“I’ve got some good news for you gals!” Jooyoung’s boomed excitedly.  “Remember last
month when I said we may have something going on with Anycall?  Well, congratulations on joining
your Dong Bang Shin Ki oppas in being their new spokespersons!”
The room erupted into screams as the girls jumped up and down in excitement. Despite
being tired and self conscious, for a moment, even Tiffany got caught up in the celebration. That is,
until Jooyoung brought her crashing back to reality.
“Wait, wait! There’s more!” he hollered, trying to get the girls’ attention. “Jessica, Tiffany,
and Yoona will also be involved in some couple storylines with their oppas!”
“WHAT?!” exclaimed Jessica and Tiffany. Everyone looked at the pair in surprise, an
accomplishment itself, as the girls were on opposite sides of the room.
Seongkook was the first to speak up. “…Is something wrong?” he asked, slightly confused.
“Eerm, no.”
“Um, nothing really.”
Came the overlapping replies.
“Of course nothing!” Anna suddenly said. “Are you girls crazy? You should be ecstatic! This
is the chance of a lifetime! Your faces will be everywhere, so you two better give it your all so you
don’t blow it!”
“Um, okay Anna,” Jooyoung began, hoping to defuse the situation before Anna made it worse.
Anna, unfortunately, did not take the hint and continued. “I know you two aren’t as good as
Yoona, so you’re really going to have to step it up, okay?  Practice hard! But don’t bug Yoona, she’s
got that drama she’s going to be filming soon.  Go bug Yuri or Sooyoung since their drama is going
to end soon.  It wasn’t that good anyways.”
“…”
“Ahem,” Jooyoung cleared his throat in an attempt to clear the tense silence that followed.
“Anyways,” he continued on quickly. “We’re going to be filming this Thursday. I’ll have the
scripts ready for you three by tomorrow night.”
The manager then looked around to the others with a smile. “And that’s not all. Once those
three are done with their filming, we’ll get both groups together to film one last CF.”
The girls were about to cheer again, but Jooyoung preempted them, “And! Next week, when
Yoona starts filming her drama, the rest of you will be filming another CF with Super Junior for
Sunkist! Do you think you girls can handle it?”
Jooyoung and Seongkook smiled in satisfaction as the nine girls shouted in exuberance.
“Okay! With those happy thoughts in mind, start getting ready, because we’re leaving in
thirty minutes!” Seongkook announced.
With that, the three adults left the room, letting the girls get ready.
“It’s not fair,” Yoona pouted.  “I wanted to film the Sunkist CF with you guys too.”
Sooyoung came over and patted Yoona on the head. “It’s okay,” she said sympathetically.
Suddenly realizing something, she stopped patting Yoona and placed her hands on her hips. “Hey,
should you be complaining? You’re the star in a KBS drama AND you get a couple storyline with
Anycall!”
“But it’s not the same,” Yoona persisted. “I really wanted to be in a CF with the rest of you
unnies.”
Yuri went up to Yoona with an equally sad face and said, “Aww, it’s okay Yoonbaby, come
here!” She then smothered Yoona in a bear hug.
While that was all happening, Sunny was next to Tiffany giving her a hug of her own.
“Ah! Sunny! What are you doing? I’m all sweaty!” Tiffany warned.
From This Moment On
74 | P a g e
“I don’t care,” came the reply. She looked up at Tiffany with a big smile. “I’m gonna make
sure to hug you extra hard after your Anycall filming too. I want to at least indirectly touch and be
touched by Dong Bang Shin Ki.”
Tiffany could only laugh at the fangirl attached to her. Sunny was far more excited than the
other girls because she had joined SM from another company, so outside of Super Junior, she did
not have an opportunity to spend much time with other SM trainees and debuted members.
At that point, Taeyeon decided to join in on the fun. She grabbed Tiffany’s shoulder and
violently shook the hugging girls.
“Argh! Now I have to share my husband with our oppas!” she said in mock frustration.
Tiffany laughed as her head rocked back and forth. “Do you know how wrong that sounds?”
she asked. She was about to say more, when out of the corner of her shaky vision she saw Jessica
heading towards the door.  She quickly disengaged herself from both girls and began heading
towards the door.
“Ah, sorry Sunny, Taengoo…I just remembered that I needed to, um, go talk to Kookie oppa
for a sec.”
Sunny nodded and left to grab her belongings while Taeyeon looked at the door to catch a
glimpse of Jessica’s departure. She furrowed her brow and looked back at Tiffany questioningly.
“Uh, yeah, go on ahead,” she said doubtfully.
Ignoring Taeyeon’s look, Tiffany quickly left the room.  She would have preferred to think of
a better lie to tell, but she wanted to make sure that she caught Jessica before she vanished.
Once out in the hallway she heard Jessica’s footsteps coming up from the stairwell. Realizing
that Jessica was going to the bathroom, she sprinted through the hall and down the stairs to catch
up with her.  She loudly stumbled through the bathroom door and paused, resting with her hands
on her knees, gasping for breath.  Looking up, she found Jessica staring at her in surprise with a
wrung out paper towel in her hands. Upon further inspection, Tiffany noticed a shredded mess of
paper towels on the sink.  Apparently she had gone through a rather large amount of towels in the
short amount of time it took for Tiffany to appear.
“Um…hi Jess,” Tiffany weakly spoke.
Jessica looked away and began cleaning up the shredded bits. “What are you doing here?”
she asked, keeping her eyes focused on sink. “Shouldn’t you be upstairs rejoicing in your incredible
luck?  Or did Taeyeon and Sunny get tired of touching you?”
“What? No, that’s not it!”
“Oh really?  So are you here to just fangirl some more in my face?”  
Jessica finished gathering all the remains of paper and walked over to throw them away
while Tiffany followed close behind.
“Jess! Seriously! I wanted to talk to you!” Tiffany pleaded.
Jessica walked over to a stall and stopped. “I’m going to the bathroom now. It may surprise
you to know that I don’t want you to follow.  Not all of our kind like to go number one with someone
watching.”
“Look I’m sorry, okay?” Tiffany growled in frustration. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I
know you people aren’t—“
Tiffany quickly slapped a hand over her mouth.
Jessica turned and gave Tiffany a dirty look. “We’re done here,” she said shortly.  Without
waiting for a response she went into the stall.
“Wait!  I didn’t mean that!  I-OW!”
Tiffany’s desperate attempt at an apology was abruptly cut short when the stall door
slammed on her nose.

Tiffany rubbed her nose at the memory of the impact. She supposed she should have been
thankful that it was just a stall door her face ran into and not Jessica’s fist.
From This Moment On
75 | P a g e
“You people? God what was I thinking?”  Tiffany moaned.  “I think I AM one of those people!
Real smart Stephanie, REEEEAL smart!”
The concerts immediately following that incident in the bathroom had been miserable.
Being on stage with Jessica had become extremely awkward and excruciatingly painful. It took all of
Tiffany’s concentration not to flinch every time the choreography required the two to touch or be
near each other.  She could almost feel her guilt compound whenever Jessica looked at her with cold
emotionless eyes.
Soon, another problem surfaced that she had not anticipated. While Tiffany did not want to
look at Jessica, she simply could do nothing but look at her.  It did not help that she happened to
have one of the best seats in the house to watch her friend dance on stage.  She started feeling her
body react in new ways to the same moves she had seen Jessica do thousands of times before. She
found herself nearly forgetting her own steps as she kept discretely looking over to watch Jessica’s
s-line as she did body wave upon body wave…
Tiffany shivered at the mental picture.
The thought of another round of concerts this weekend was almost too much for her to bear.
In a bid to veer her mind away from a state of self-induced panic, as well as Jessica’s s-line, she
brought her focus to her present location.
Whenever she thought of amusement parks, she would invariably think of Disneyland back
home.  While she had been to grander and more ambitious theme parks in Korea, she never forgot
about the “Happiest Place on Earth” right in her own backyard.
Her family made it a point to visit at least twice a year, once in the summer, and once more
in the winter. The park was always filled to capacity. A sea of people could be seen lined up and
chatting nosily at every ride, concession stand, and ladies’ restroom.  While her sister and brother
would groan at the crowd, all the activity excited her.  She loved being immersed in the spectacle as
she felt transported to a completely different universe.  
With every visit, there were certain things that had to happen as well. It was not officially
summer for Tiffany until she had a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar. Likewise, she could not have a
Merry Christmas until she got to see all the princesses on Main Street during the parade.
But unlike her memories, the amusement park she was in was gloomy, cold, and wet.
However, it was the silence that bothered Tiffany the most.  The filming area had been cordoned off
from the relatively few visitors and all the rides in the immediate area had been shut down.  It made
everything that much more depressing to Tiffany.
So it was with that glum mindset that she roamed aimlessly about the deserted rides.
Without realizing, she soon found herself back at the canopy.  She had unconsciously gravitated
towards Jessica’s shy voice as she practiced her scene with Changmin.  Stopping awkwardly in front
of the pair, she silently turned around to leave before either of them could notice her presence.
“Hey Fany!”
Tiffany bit her lips in frustration and stiffly turned back, making sure she put on her
cheeriest face.
“Oh hey, oppa! Sorry, I was just walking by.  I didn’t mean to disturb you guys from practice.”
Tiffany held her breath, hoping that Changmin would just let her go.
“Hey, are you sure the hyungs didn’t make you spy on us?” Changmin joked. He then turned
to look at Jessica. “You guys better watch out. You may have a triangle going on, but we got the
chemistry, right Jess?”
Now Changmin had never done anything wrong to Tiffany.  On the contrary, being close to
the girls in age, he had always been friendly to her and the others.  But when Tiffany heard him use
her nickname for Jessica, it took all her willpower not to give the idol a swift kick in his Rising Sun.
“Yeah…,” Jessica gave a tiny laugh.  Both girls briefly made eye contact before quickly
looking away.
“Tiffany Hwang! You’re up!”
From This Moment On
76 | P a g e
Tiffany resisted breathing a sigh of relief. “Well, I guess it’s my turn,” she said giving an
awkward wave as she left.
Unfortunately for her, things did not get easier once filming began.  Even with the little that
was required of her, it had been extremely difficult for her to focus and give the director what he
wanted.  Of course, everyone around her chalked it up to Tiffany being Tiffany.  Normally, she
would have been irritated and borderline enraged at her perceived lack of intelligence. But today,
she was quite content to let everyone think what they wanted to about her missed lines and poor
timing.
She thought it was laughable that her concept was a love triangle.  She was having enough
drama with just one girl. But then again, being involved with two hot guys sounded far less
stressful than being on bad terms with Jessica Jung.  There was a time when she thought she would
do anything to breathe the same air as her five Dong Bang Shin Ki oppas.  She should have enjoyed
the filming and the opportunity to live out every Korean girl’s fantasy of being involved in a sordid
tryst with at least two members.
Instead, all she could think about was how wonderful it would be if it was Jessica, instead of
Yunho, desperately trying to impress her by trying to whack all the moles. The girl could
surprisingly get very excited.  Tiffany gave a slight smile as she imagined Jessica jumping up and
down, shrieking, as she tried to hammer at the critters.
“CUT!”
Tiffany looked up in surprise. She had drifted off again.
“I liked the effort, Tiffany. But that little smile you gave at the end was a bit weird.”
“Sorry,” Tiffany apologized as she blushed.  She furtively glanced about, praying that none of
the behind the scenes cameras caught her with such a dopey expression on her face. In the process
of looking around, she spotted Jessica standing behind the film crew, staring at her.  Instead of
looking away, this time, the two girls held the gaze.
“Okay, let’s do it again!”
“Okay!” Tiffany broke the stare and forced a cheery smile on her face.
“Back to work,” she thought drearily.

Taeyeon had just stepped out of the shower, drying her hair with a towel as she walked out
into the living room. Tonight was going to be a good night for her. A year ago, she never would have
classified taking a long shower and doing nothing at 10:47 as a good night. Spying the couch free of
occupants, she quickly ran over and flopped ungracefully onto it, bouncing several times.  With a
contented sigh, she rolled on to her back and fished the remote from under her.  Just as she turned
on the TV, the front door opened.
“Ah! It’s the Anycall team!” Taeyeon called out. “So how did it-“
Taeyeon stopped short as she watched Jessica march into the kitchen and march straight
out with a glass of water. Without a single word to or glance at Taeyeon, she then went directly into
her room.
“Oookay,” Taeyeon said, blinking a few times.  She sat up as she saw Yoona enter the room.
“Welcome back, shower’s free for you guys to use.” she greeted the weary girl.
“Thanks, unnie,” she replied with a tired smile.
“I just saw Sica…I think…but where’s Fany?” she asked. Normally Tiffany would have been
the first person through the door and already on the couch, giving Taeyeon a minute by minute
recap of the day’s events.
Yoona stifled a yawn. “Huh? Oh, she went straight to her room, she looked pretty tired when
we got out of the car.”
From This Moment On
77 | P a g e
Taeyeon bit her lip as she thought. Realizing that Yoona was still there, she quickly spoke up.
“Okay, you should go hurry up and shower. Don’t go to sleep though, okay? It’ll be Jessica’s birthday
soon.”
“All right, unnie, I’ll try.” Yoona let out another yawn before heading to her room.
Taeyeon leaned back on the couch, lost in thought. Suddenly she spoke out, “Okay, enough
thinking, time for umma to act!”
Not hearing any response except her own echoing voice, she looked around the empty room.
“Aish, why does everyone stay in their rooms after dinner?” she complained.
She got up and headed over to Tiffany’s room, lightly rapping on the door before opening it.
“Fany-ah,” she called out. “Yoona said you weren’t feeling well.”
She stepped into the room and found Tiffany lying face down on the bed.  Seohyun was
sitting on the side with a concerned look and rubbing Tiffany’s back.
“Oh, Tae-tae,” came Tiffany’s muffled voice. “I’m okay, just a little bit tired.”
Taeyeon quickly appraised the situation and turned to the cute maknae massaging her
unnie.  “Seohyunie, I grabbed one of your fan gifts by accident. They were some pretty tasty looking
cookies. I left them on the table for you, but I think they’ll get stale if you leave them out too long.
Why don’t you go eat them?”
Seohyun looked worriedly at Tiffany. “But unnie, Tiffany unnie is-“
“Ahh, don’t worry, don’t worry,” Taeyeon waved her hand at Seohyun. “Umma can handle it.
I’ve been giving Fany massages before you were even in high school! Go! Go!”
She quickly chased Seohyun out of the room as Tiffany watched in amusement. Closing the
door behind Seohyun, Taeyeon sat down on the bed and began rubbing Tiffany’s back.
“OOooooo…I miss Taengoo’s massages,” Tiffany sighed in contentment.
“Nice to know I haven’t lost my touch,” Taeyeon replied happily. “So, are you gonna tell me
what’s been eating at you the past few days?”
“Huh?” Tiffany lifted her head up and tried to turn around.  “Ow!” she shouted as Taeyeon
hit a pressure point and forced her back down.
“Tiffany,” Taeyeon said in a dangerously light hearted voice. “I’m not going to stop until you
‘fess up!”
“Seohyun’s gonna come back!” Tiffany said in a tight voice as Taeyeon kept the pressure on
her back.
“So what? I can send her right back out.  Unnie privileges, you know.  Besides, you have no
chance.  I left the TV on the cartoon channel.  She’s not coming back until at least 1:30.”
“Damn frog,” Tiffany muttered.
“So?” Taeyeon began working the pressure point a bit harder.
“Ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay! You win!” Tiffany let out a breath of relief when she felt Taeyeon
remove her hand. She remained still as she tried to collect her thoughts.  After a moment, she spoke
up.
“I think I’m in trouble, Tae,” she said in a soft voice.
“What?  You mean with the law?” Taeyeon quickly stood up.
“No!  I mean…I mean, I’m confused.”
“Oh,” Taeyeon sat back down and began gently rubbing Tiffany’s back again. “Well, aren’t
you normally?”
“I thought you wanted to hear what I had to say?”
“Of course, of course! Don’t mind me, keep going.” Taeyeon began massaging her more
vigorously. “So why is the great Fany so confused?”
Tiffany turned her neck to give a glare. Taeyeon promptly turned the head back. “Relax or
the massage won’t work.”
From This Moment On
78 | P a g e
“I-I just don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Tiffany continued. “I mean it’s…it started
when…I had no idea that…ARGGHH!!!!” She smothered her face into the pillow as she let out a
frustrated scream.
Taeyeon removed her hands in surprise. “Tiffany?” she asked, in concern. When she
received no response she started shaking the girl. “Ya, Stephanie!  Are you okay?!”
Tiffany turned around and Taeyeon let out a gasp when she saw tears streaking down the
girl’s eyes.
“Tiffany! You’re crying!” Taeyeon quickly grabbed the box of tissues by the night stand and
started dabbing the weeping girl’s eyes.  But like a sullen child, Tiffany pushed away the tissues and
instead, buried herself into Taeyeon’s chest, bawling.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Taeyeon!”
“What do you mean? You have to tell me what’s going on!”  As much as she wanted to help,
Taeyeon was completely lost.
Tiffany began to hyperventilate. “I…hic…I’m so confused…hic…I can’t take it anymore…”
“Then don’t!  Give it to me!” Taeyeon cradled Tiffany in her arms, trying to calm the girl.  She
continued softly, “Don’t crush yourself with whatever it is.  Let me share it with you, please!”
Tiffany looked up at her with swollen red eyes.  She swallowed loudly and took a deep
breath. “Taeyeon-ah…mian hae…I…I think I’m…gay…”
Taeyeon’s eyes shot open and her mouth slightly dropped as she heard Tiffany barely
breathe out the last word. Tiffany felt Taeyeon’s entire body stiffen and immediately the tears
began to well up in her eyes again. She buried her face into Taeyeon’s already wet shirt and
resumed sobbing, her tears burning hotter than before.
Without warning, she felt gentle hands slowly lift her head up. Looking up, she saw herself
reflected in Taeyeon’s sympathetic eyes.
“Babo,” Taeyeon said softly. “What are you apologizing for?”
Tiffany blinked.  “What?” she asked stupidly.
Taeyeon sighed and sat Tiffany up on the bed.  Looking straight at her, Taeyeon repeated, “I
said what are you apologizing for?  Did you do anything wrong?”
“N-no, but I thought that you would-“
“Then there’s no reason to be sorry, right?”
“I-I guess…” She sniffed loudly and rubbed her red nose with her sleeve.
Taeyeon stroked Tiffany’s head. “My poor Fany,” she consoled. “Is this why you’ve been
going crazy this whole time? I know Jessica had her problems, but I didn’t’ think you had such big
ones.”
Tiffany tensed upon hearing Jessica’s name, but if Taeyeon noticed, she did not show it.
After a few minutes of stroking Tiffany’s head Taeyeon spoke up.
“So, um…how did this happen?” Taeyeon hesitantly asked Tiffany.
On the surface, it appeared Taeyeon was calm and collected, but Tiffany knew better.
Taeyeon had asked the question at a pitch almost an octave higher than her normal voice. The older
girl was also staring at her with what could only be described as a fish-eyed look.
Despite her throat being sore from all the crying, Tiffany could not help but laugh under the
gaze of Taeyeon’s odd look.  
“Tiffany! What’s wrong now?” Taeyeon panicked. She brought herself closer to Tiffany,
trying to make sense of her laughter.
Unfortunately, all Taeyeon’s concern did was make her face look that much more comical.
Tiffany started laughing even harder as Taeyeon brought her face closer. Unable to stop laughing,
her tears began falling freely again.  The odd mixture of laughter and tears lightened her heart.
Instead of the sharp pain in her chest that she had been feeling the entire week, there was now a
dull warmth.  
From This Moment On
79 | P a g e
Tiffany quickly tried to compose herself so as to not to worry Taeyeon any further.  Finally
catching her breath, she turned to her flabbergasted friend.
“I’m sorry Tae-tae,” she explained as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “It’s just that you
don’t have to try to be all cool and understanding and all.” She then proceeded to imitate Taeyeon’s
fish-eyed expression and high pitched voice. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious that you’re kinda freaking
out!” she said, bobbling her head side to side.  She then collapsed onto the bed and resumed
laughing.
“Ya! Babo! I was doing it all for your sake!” Taeyeon began swatting violently at the laughing
girl. “My brain totally flipped out when you said that! I only snapped out of it because I realized
how miserable you were just from that reaction!”
Taeyeon got up from the bed and turned her back. “That’s what I get for caring,” she
muttered.
Tiffany got up on her knees and went to the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around
Taeyeon’s waist. Speaking in a baby voice she apologized, “I’m sorry Tae-tae, thank you so much for
accepting me.” She then squeezed tighter and spoke seriously, burying her face into Taeyeon’s back.
“I don’t know what I would do if I lost your support…”
Taeyeon patted one of Tiffany’s arms. “It’s okay Fany, I’m pretty sure you’re even more
freaked out about all this than me.  The least I could do is be there for you.”
“Thanks, Tae,” Tiffany muttered as she enjoyed the warmth of the short girl’s back.
After a few moments of silence Taeyeon spoke up, “Uhh, Fany? This isn’t…doing anything
for you, right?”
“Huh?”
“I mean…you’re not going to…umm…want to do stuff with me, right?”
“Oh? Hmm…I don’t know. I didn’t think about it, but now that you mention it…” She then
began to snake one of her hands down Taeyeon’s body.
“GAH!” Taeyeon quickly broke from Tiffany’s embrace and spun around.  Upon turning
around, she was greeted by Tiffany’s frown and raised eyebrow. Taeyeon looked down in apology.
“Yeah, um, sorry. I know you’re not like that. You’re not, right?”
Tiffany accepted the apology with a wry smile. “Of course not! I’m still me! I don’t see you
any differently than I did four years ago!  Well, maybe a bit dorkier.”
“What?!”
The girls stared at each other for a moment before breaking out in laughter.  Taeyeon sat
back down on the bed and gave Tiffany a curious look.
“So seriously, how in the world did you find out then?  Is there someone you like?”
Tiffany quickly became flustered.  “Huh? No! I mean, I-I have a friend…from high school.”
Well, that was technically true.
Tiffany continued searching for words.  “And she told me that she um, she’s, you know, gay.
She did-I mean said, some things to me that made me...think about myself a little more.”
“So, a friend told you that she was gay, and it made you realize you were too?” Taeyeon
asked doubtfully.
“Uh, yeah,” Tiffany confirmed, realizing how lame her story was.
“So what happened to the friend?” Taeyeon asked. Tiffany could almost see the wheels in
her head spinning furiously.
“Oh, she, um… she kinda surprised me with what she did-I mean said. So I kind of told her
how messed up she was.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah…”
“So what are you going to do about your friend then?”
“Huh?!” Tiffany looked at Taeyeon in surprise.
“Well I mean, you can’t leave it like that, can you?”
From This Moment On
80 | P a g e
“I guess not,” she replied softly.”
Taeyeon sighed. “Fany, I don’t know what went on between you two, but how would you
have liked it if I had reacted to your confession the same way you reacted to your friend’s?”
Tiffany’s eyes slightly widened before she looked away in shame. “I would have been
destroyed.”
“Ah! Taeyeon-ah! What should I do?” Tiffany despaired as she fell back on to her bed.
“Shouldn’t it be easier now?”
“Huh?” Tiffany looked up in perplexity.
“Now that you know who you are, shouldn’t it be easier to make your decisions now?”
“Huh?”
“Are you a broken record player?” Taeyeon asked in exasperation.
“I don’t mean that your life is going to be easier,” she clarified to Tiffany. “I just mean, now
that you know more about yourself, shouldn’t it be easier to know what the right answers are going
to be? Regardless of how difficult those answers are?”
Tiffany let out a sigh, Taeyeon was right. That didn’t mean she had to like it.
“I don’t know!” Tiffany rolled over on the bed into her pile of stuffed animals. The disturbed
pile revealed a tiny pale green box tied with a lavender ribbon. Tiffany picked up the box and
stared at it. She had forgotten that she had hidden Jessica’s birthday gift. It seemed like ages ago
when she bought it.
“Oh! What a pretty box!  Did a fan give it to you?” Taeyeon asked.
“Oh, um, yeah.”
“What’s inside?”
“Inside?  You want to know what’s inside?” Tiffany looked blankly at Taeyeon. Taeyeon
simply nodded expectantly. “Oh…it’s, nothing. I just kept the box because it was so nice.”
Taeyeon gave Tiffany another disbelieving look.
“Uh, Tae, what time is it?” Tiffany quickly asked.
“Hm?  It’s…” She twisted around to look at the pink hello kitty clock on the nightstand.
“Wow, it’s 11:42.”
“Seriously??” Tiffany stared at the wall for a moment before turning back to Taeyeon. “I just
remembered that I need to go…do something.”
“This late at night?”
“I mean…I think I just need some time alone to…think right now…about everything.”
“Heh, you and me both, sister,” Taeyeon replied as she got up from the bed. “We’ll finish this
up later, promise?”
“Yeah,” Tiffany nodded. She looked at Taeyeon and felt her eyes begin to water again.
Getting up from the bed, she hugged Taeyeon tightly. “Thanks again for being so wonderful,” Tiffany
whispered. “You really are like family to me, I love you so much.”
“I know, I feel the same way too, Fany.” Taeyeon patted her butt before continuing, “You’re
like the little sister that just keeps getting into trouble.”
Tiffany gave a watery-eyed smile.
“But hey! Don’t forget to come to me with stuff like this, okay? I know you have your Sunny
Bunny now, but just because you’ve found a shorter girl than me, it doesn’t mean you can keep me
completely out of the loop! I’m never too busy for my Fany, you hear? TaeNy tops TwoNy, got it?”
Tiffany laughed as her tears began to come down anew.
“Aigoo, stop crying, okay?” Taeyeon wiped off Tiffany’s tears with her fingers. “I’m off! Don’t
think too hard, okay? I know it gives you a headache.” She laughed as Tiffany threw a stuffed animal
at her.
After Taeyeon left, Tiffany dropped back on her bed in exhaustion. Within a week,
everything had changed for her.  But at the same time, she felt that she was essentially unchanged.
In fact, she was probably more herself now than she was a week ago, if that made any sense.
From This Moment On
81 | P a g e
Unable to fathom the paradox, Tiffany redirected her attention to the tiny package sitting
next to her stuffed animals. It was going to be Jessica’s birthday in less than half an hour, but she
could not even talk to Jessica, let alone give her a gift.  Could she?
Sitting up, she took the present into her hands.  Despite knowing Jessica for four years, this
would have been the first time she had given Jessica a personal birthday gift.  The two had first met
a few months after her birthday and they had their falling out before it had a chance to come
around again.  Tiffany came to the sudden realization that she had known Jessica for only a few
months, before the two became estranged for four years.  But when they began spending time
together again, that four year gap simply vanished.  There was no logic to it. She knew Taeyeon for
just as long and spent far more time with her. But with Jessica, there was this closeness that was
indescribable.  There was something right about being with her.  It was more than just being friends.
With that thought, Tiffany quickly got up and began rummaging under her bed for some
colored paper she knew she had lying around.  After a few minutes, she managed to only find one
pink sheet of paper. It was slightly worn around the edges, but it would do.  Going over to
Seohyun’s backpack, she pulled out her roommate’s pencil case and scissors.  After cutting out a
shape from the paper, she pulled out a colored pen.  Sticking her tongue out in concentration, she
drew onto the altered piece of paper.
Within five minutes, she finished her work and stood up with a determined look. Grabbing
the gift and piece of paper, she left her room. She was not going to wait another four years before
she could speak to Jessica normally. Whatever “normal” meant now.
Making her way across to Jessica’s door, Tiffany breathed deeply.  Working up the nerve,
she raised her hand to knock on the door.
“What’s up, Fany?”
Tiffany shrieked at the voice that suddenly appeared behind her. The owner of the voice,
Hyoyeon, shrieked as well, dropping the cookie and book that were in her hands.
“I’m so sorry, Hyo!” Tiffany apologized as she bent down to pick up the book, making sure
she kept the gift and paper behind her. Hyoyeon did not notice as she bent down to clean up the
crumbled remains of her late night snack.
“Aw,” Hyoyeon moaned. “It’s okay, I need to cut back on the junk food, I guess.”  She did not
sound very convinced of her own words.
“So did you want anything?” she asked as Tiffany stood awkwardly with Hyoyeon’s book.
“I just wanted to, um, talk to Jessica for a sec,” she replied, nervously folding and flexing the
innocent book with her hand.
“Oh, Sica’s not inside,” Hyoyeon said as she collected the last of the crumbs and stood up.
“What? Are you serious?” Tiffany asked incredulously.
Hyoyeon nodded.
“Okay, then,” she sighed, handing the book over to Hyoyeon.
Hyoyeon thought Tiffany’s behavior was a bit odd, but she shrugged it off to the late night.
Standing alone in the hallway, she looked sadly at her mangled book in one hand and crumbled
cookie in the other.  She then stared at the cookie a bit longer.
“I really shouldn’t be eating you…”
In the living room, Tiffany found only Taeyeon and Seohyun on the couch, watching the
television.  A quick walk to the kitchen yielded no Jessica and Tiffany returned to the living room,
scratching her head in frustration.
“Everything okay?” Taeyeon asked, still staring at the television.
“Huh? Oh yeah, no problem,” Tiffany replied nonchalantly. She turned around and decided
to check Yuri’s room.
“I heard her sneaking out the front door a few minutes ago. I’ll bet you she’s on the roof.”
Tiffany quickly spun around, her eyes wide in shock.
“W-who?” she asked innocently.
From This Moment On
82 | P a g e
Taeyeon finally turned to look at Tiffany and laughed. “Just hurry up and go, you idiot!”
It took Tiffany a few seconds to process the order before she smiled and ran out the front
door. Taeyeon smiled to herself, watching the girl stumble her way out the apartment.
“This is getting way too weird for me,” she laughed.
“Unnie! Shhh!” Seohyun urgently shushed, her eyes never leaving the frantic frog on the
television.

Jessica looked at her watch.
12:01
“Happy freakin’ birthday,” she muttered to herself.
Shivering, she hugged her knees tighter to her chest. It probably was not the smartest idea
to come up to the roof this late at night, but right now, she did not want to be around people.  There
was something comforting about the moonlight as opposed to the fluorescent lamps inside. Up
here, she did not have to pretend that she was feeling okay. There was no need to hide the pained
looks on her face. Up here, no one would care if she cried.
Jessica sighed. For the past four nights she had been coming to the roof. At first, she told
herself it was to clear her head. The only problem was that she ended up doing nothing BUT
wallow in her thoughts.  In the end, she admitted that she was coming up here simply to relive her
kiss with Tiffany. But not just the kiss. She forced herself to relive the entire event.
Why did she do it? She had crushes on her girl friends before but never acted on them.  It
didn’t make sense. But whenever Tiffany was concerned, little did make sense.  And it was because
of one glorious moment of irrationality that she was sitting here, all alone, on her birthday.
She rested her head on her arms. She wanted to throw up. She was just sick of it all. Sick of
having to avoid Tiffany. Of pretending to hate her, when all Jessica wanted to do was pin her down
so she couldn’t escape from another kiss.
And now she had to watch Tiffany play the innocent girl caught between the cloying
attentions of Yunho and Jaejoong.  It was maddening.  She desperately wanted to take one of the
mallets from Yunho and drill him upside the head.  She also briefly considered using the second
mallet to assault Jaejoong if only to warn the other three members of Dong Bang Shin Ki that they
could be next.  Instead, she just sat there and watched Tiffany adorably forget her lines, ecstatic that
she was in a commercial with her precious oppas.  It appeared that the universe had a sense of
humor and Jessica was the punch line.
The rooftop door clicked open.
“Jess?”
Jessica felt her heart flutter at the sound of Tiffany’s voice, like it did every time.  Tiffany
hesitantly made her way to the platform where Jessica sat.  Her stalling gave Jessica the chance to
recover and erect her emotional walls.
“Umm, hey…” Tiffany awkwardly began.
“I left the cheese on the bottom tray, now go away.”
“You got a minute?” Tiffany asked, ignoring the sarcastic comment
“No.”
“Come on Jess!  I want to talk about…you know…us.”
Jessica narrowed eyes. She was not in the mood to hear the “just friends” speech.
“There is no ‘us’ if you recall. You were very clear that you didn’t want any part of my
cooties,” she icily replied.
“Please! I’m serious!” Tiffany begged. “Don’t do this again!”
“Fine! You want to talk about it?!” Jessica raised her voice and began flailing her arms about.
“I’ll talk about it!  Let me talk about how a ‘friend’ of mine is absolutely terrified of me! How she
From This Moment On
83 | P a g e
absolutely ripped my heart out, chewed it up, and spit it out!  Let me talk about how it hurt so much
that I just wanna rip my heart out!”
“Hey! Let’s not forget that you threw your lips onto me out of nowhere!  Of course I’m going
to freak out!” Tiffany responded, instinctively trying to defend herself.
That did it. “I did not THROW my lips!” Jessica shot back, enraged. “And you can bet I wish I
never did!  That stupid kiss ruined my life!  I don’t know what I mean to you, but you mean
everything to me, Stephanie!”  Jessica gasped and clamped her mouth shut when she realized what
she just said. She looked away in frustration, the tears brimming at her eyes.
“…you mean a lot to me too…”
“What?” Jessica looked back at Tiffany, not sure if she heard right.
Tiffany met Jessica with a steadfast gaze. “I said you mean a lot to me too!” she shouted, her
fists balled up at her side. “I…I don’t really know if I lo-feel the way that you do, but,” Tiffany
relaxed and looked softly at Jessica. “But I want to find out…”
Jessica could only stare. “What?” she dumbly repeated, still not willing to believe her.
Tiffany walked over and sat next to Jessica, nervously fidgeting her hands. “I-I think I kinda
like you…a lot…”
Words absolutely failed Jessica at that moment.
“I know I don’t deserve another chance,” Tiffany continued. “But I just wanted you to know
that… well…here.”
She pushed the gift and piece of paper to Jessica.  Jessica, still in a daze, looked blankly at the
gift and card in her hand before looking back at Tiffany, uncomprehending.
Tiffany sat there anxiously. “It’s for you,” she explained.
Jessica took the items and lifted up the hastily designed card into the moonlight to read.
The card was cut into the shape of a heart.  In a light blue pen that was difficult to make out in the
dark, she read the lines, “Please, please have a happy birthday.  Forgive me?  –Stephanie”
Jessica laughed, “Ya, did you spend all of two seconds making this?”
“I was in a rush!” Tiffany pouted. “Never mind that!  Open the gift!” she urged.
Jessica carefully removed the lavender ribbon and lifted the lid.  She gave a soft gasp.
Laying delicately in the box was an exquisite crystal figure. There were two rose pink blossoms,
each with a tiny pearl set at the center.  The blossoms were connected by a soft white stem that
arced in a graceful bend. Sprouting from the stem were two shimmering emerald leaves.
“Do you like it?” Tiffany asked excitedly. She then leaned in to admire the piece as well.
“When I saw it, I knew it was you,” she explained. “It’s completely made out of crystal, so it
looks beautiful but kind of cold and uninviting.  Like there’s no soul to it.  Just like an ice princess.”
Jessica frowned at the description. Did Tiffany really think of her that way?
“But if you hold it up to the right light,” she continued, taking Jessica’s hand and lifting it up
into the near full moon.  “All the details come alive and you realize just how precious and fragile it
is.”
Jessica marveled as the soft moonlight flowed through the blooms. The light gave the petals
an ethereal glow and the leaves seemed to glisten as if wet. As she slowly turned it, the pale light
played across the crystal and she could see all the tiny facets flash through, making the blooms
shimmer as if a breeze had disturbed the petals.
Still staring at the gift, Jessica began to feel lightheaded. She could not believe everything
that was happening right now.  Wanting to express her appreciation, she turned to look at Tiffany,
who was still leaning in and looking at the gift. Startled by her proximity, Jessica felt the thank you
catch in her throat.  All she could do was stare at Tiffany’s innocently smiling face basking in the
moonlight.
She felt herself breathing harder as a tight pain gripped her chest. But this time, the
sensation was not unwelcome.
Feeling her eyes, Tiffany turned to look at Jessica and slowly blushed.
From This Moment On
84 | P a g e
“So,” Tiffany asked shyly, looking down and putting her hands in her lap. “Do you like it?”
Jessica lowered her hands and gingerly placed the crystal figure back into the box. She then
rolled up the ribbon and tucked it under, firmly securing the lid. Satisfied with her work, she placed
it securely in her jacket pocket and turned to look at Tiffany.
“Jess?” Tiffany asked confused and slightly worried. “Is it—“
Tiffany never got a chance to finish as Jessica gently placed her hands on Tiffany’s face and
leaned in to answer with her lips.
Jessica poured everything she had into the kiss.  She wanted Tiffany to know exactly how
she felt. How angry she had been, how miserable she was feeling, but most importantly, how none
of that mattered now. The years of frustration that had been building up simply evaporated.  And
when she was done telling her all of that, she used the remaining time to simply enjoy the taste and
feel of Tiffany’s lips.  But if she thought that Tiffany was simply going to sit back and do nothing, she
was in for a surprise.
Jessica’s eyes shot open in surprise when she felt Tiffany’s tongue press at her lips.  Not one
to fight such matters, Jessica quickly acquiesced and allowed its entrance.  She then enjoyed the
weight of Tiffany’s body as her girlfriend leaned in. Unfortunately for both, Tiffany’s exuberance
was a bit too much and Jessica quickly lost balance at the rapid weight shift and fell backwards,
bringing Tiffany along for the ride.
“Ow.”
“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” Tiffany asked, completely on top of Jessica.
“Never better,” Jessica replied with an enormous smile as both girls began to laugh.
“Happy birthday,” Tiffany whispered to Jessica.
“You got that right.”
Jessica wrapped her arms around Tiffany and the pair resumed their kiss that was in the
process of becoming borderline hot.
The sound of voices could suddenly be heard from the other side of the rooftop door.  The
door then made a loud banging noise as the two girls quickly disentangled themselves from each
other.
“Aish, Taeyeon, you have to turn the knob before you open the door!” came Sooyoung’s
voice.
“Hey! Show a little respect to your umma!” came the irritated reply.
The door knob then slowly turned and Taeyeon carefully peeked outside.  She gave a big
smile when she saw Jessica and Tiffany quickly stand up and smooth out their clothes.
Turning around, she announced to the people behind her, “Yup! They’re up here! Light it up!”
A few seconds later, Taeyeon opened the door to reveal Seohyun holding a cake alight with
candles.  The rest of the girls ran over to Jessica and began singing while Yoona came over and
placed a birthday hat on her.
Jessica smiled at the surprise, but quickly narrowed her eyes when she spied the cake. “Isn’t
that the cake that was in the freezer for a month?” She leaned over to get another look. Sure
enough, on the other side, cleverly hidden by some whip cream, were cut out portions.
“Ah, it’s okay. It’s the thought that counts, right?” Taeyeon said carelessly.
“It doesn’t look like much thought was put into it,” Jessica responded dryly, trying to hide
her smile.
“It’s all right, Jess! Just blow it out!” Tiffany said. She had made her way next to Seohyun
and was staring at Jessica from across the cake.
Jessica felt her heart skip a beat at Tiffany’s use of “Jess” in public. That coupled with the
sight of her moon-eyed smile washed in the glow of the candles, Jessica thought her heart would
explode.
With a bright smile and never breaking Tiffany’s stare, Jessica blew out the candles.
SEC TI ON  I I  
CHAPTER 12:   AREN’T YOU KIND OF G LAD WE DID?
“You think we should’ve snuck out like that?” Jessica asked.
“Why, did you want me to stop?” Tiffany replied, nuzzling into Jessica’s neck.
“You do and you’re dead,” she said breathlessly, letting out a soft moan.
The girls were on a tiny hill that overlooked their neighborhood park. A few bushes and
trees surrounded them, offering them some privacy. Definitely a bonus as Tiffany was situated
comfortably in Jessica’s lap while the two were sharing heated kisses.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” Jessica whispered into Tiffany’s ear.
She felt Tiffany shiver and enjoyed watching her lover’s face burn crimson red.
“You’re so bad. I bet you say that to all the girls you fool around with,” Tiffany said before
rewarding her with another kiss.
Jessica smiled and raised her eyebrows suggestively.  “It keeps them happy,” she said simply.
Tiffany was about to respond when she suddenly froze.
“Ohmygosh! I think someone’s coming! We gotta get out of here!”
“I don’t care anymore,” Jessica said drowsily.
“We’re going to get caught!” Tiffany began to get up.
Jessica, however, had other plans. She quickly grabbed Tiffany’s arms as she was halfway
up her ascent and jerked her down. Tiffany lost her footing and fell backwards onto Jessica,
knocking both girls flat on the grass.
“Jess!” Tiffany gasped, “Are you okay?”
She quickly struggled to get off her girlfriend only to be held firmly around the waist.
“I told you,” came the muffled voice from under Tiffany, “I don’t care.”
Tiffany wriggled herself around in the tight embrace. “Are you cra—“
With a sudden heave of strength, Jessica rolled over, effectively pinning the other girl down.
“Now then,” she breathed, tossing her hair out of the way. “Where were we?”
“Jess, seriously, people are coming!” Tiffany spoke in a panicked whisper. There was a look
of fear in her eyes. Fear and excitement.
Jessica’s smile intensified as she felt Tiffany’s heart race.  Leaning in, she brought her lips
tantalizing close to Tiffany’s before beginning to unbutton her shirt.
“Let’s see how good you are at keeping your voice down then.”
BAM!
Jessica’s eyes shot open at the sound of the garbage truck rumbling through the streets.  Her
moment of disorientation quickly passed as she realized that she was not in the park, but rather
curled up on one end of the living room couch.  Almost immediately the images of her dream came
flooding back and she pressed her hands to her burning cheeks as she vividly recalled each one.
“I think I need a cold shower,” she muttered.
Attempting to rise, she discovered that she was firmly anchored to the couch.  Looking
down, she found Tiffany securely attached to her waist, sound asleep.  She stared at the girl in
wonder and felt her heart lighten as she recalled the previous night.
After her “birthday cake” had been cut and enjoyed out on the cold roof, the girls came back
inside to continue the celebration, though celebration was probably too strong of a word.  Nothing
exceptionally interesting occurred, save for two or three instances of underage drinking, some of it
willingly, some of it forced.  Eventually, the seven other girls returned to their rooms for bed,
leaving Jessica and Tiffany alone in the living room.  The two shyly chatted with each other for the
next hour or so on topics that were mundane and forced, but that was not of any real concern to
either girl.  At some point during the night, while Jessica was in the middle of explaining an
exceptionally dull story, Tiffany hesitantly leaned forward and gave her a shy kiss.  It was a kiss that
Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
87 | P a g e
was completely different from the passionate one the two shared a few hours earlier on the roof,
but the effect was just as astounding.  There was something so very sweet and endearing about it
that Jessica simply had to return the favor.  From that point on, all conversation ceased as the two
simply laid side by side on the couch sharing butterfly kisses and quietly staring at one another.
Jessica gently brushed away the loose strands of hair that swept across Tiffany’s face as she
admired the sleeping girl’s pouty lips.  Lips that were hers to enjoy now.  She could not help but
smile at that thought.  A shuffling sound then distracted her from her reverie. Looking up, she saw
Yuri sleepily drag her feet into the living room, stifling a yawn.  The tired girl froze in mid-stretch
when she saw Jessica and Tiffany cuddled together on the couch.  Jessica put a finger on her lips to
silence any questions from Yuri and carefully began to extricate herself.  Tiffany gave a moan of
protest but was quickly silenced as she tightly hugged the cushion Jessica used as her replacement.
Jessica quickly grabbed Yuri and led her to the bathroom.  Once inside, Yuri finally let loose.
“What happened up on the roof last night?” Yuri whispered hoarsely. “Are you okay with
just being friends?”
With a giant smile Jessica shook her head from side to side.
“No?” Yuri looked at Jessica oddly. “Then why in the world are you so happy?  I mean you
guys were practically spooning when I came-”
Yuri abruptly cut herself off and gasped.
“Are you SERIOUS?” She looked at Jessica with wide eyes.
This time Jessica nodded an affirmative.
Yuri put her hands on her head as she continued. “This is, is…Fany? Seriously? Are you sure
she’s not messing with you?” Yuri paused before asking again, “Seriously?!”
Jessica simply smiled and nodded.
“Wow…what are the odds.” Yuri shook her head in disbelief and looked at Jessica, still
grinning from ear to ear. “Well, say something! Don’t just smile and nod like an idiot!”
Unable to contain herself any longer, Jessica gave a tiny scream. She then grabbed Yuri’s
hands and began jumping up and down. “I mean a lot to her! She wanted to give it a chance! She
wanted to give US a chance!  She’s mine Yuri, she’s mine!”
“Okay, okay, calm down, unless you want to wake up the entire building!”  Yuri laughed as
she observed Jessica in fascination.  In all the years Yuri had known her, she had never seen Jessica
as she was right now, practically glowing.  In the past, no matter how happy Jessica seemed to be,
there always seemed to be this aura of sadness and restraint around her.  It seemed that all it took
was for one silly Korean-American girl to simply say yes and reverse everything. Yuri could only
smile at how funny the world was.
“Ya, I’m happy for you, Sica. You absolutely deserve to be this happy.” Yuri felt her eyes
begin to get misty.
“Thanks Yul,” Jessica replied as her throat began to catch. She then enveloped Yuri in a
fierce hug.
“Ah, that’s why you can’t tell me this kind of stuff in the morning,” Yuri complained when
they broke the hug. “I’m too emotional before ten!”
Jessica laughed as she tore off some toilet paper and handed some to Yuri.
“Well then,” Yuri said as she dabbed her eyes. “Now that your problem is solved, can we
work on finding me a man now?”
Jessica laughed. “Sorry, I don’t think I can help you unless you want to hook up with some
girls.”
“Damn,” Yuri sighed dramatically.  “Well, you seem to have better luck than me. Maybe I
should switch teams.”
“Really?  Because Hyoyeon’s been saying some nice things about you, you know.”
Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
88 | P a g e
Yuri gave a startled look as Jessica returned it calmly.  After a moment of silence, Jessica
could not hold the steady face any longer and burst out laughing. It took Yuri a few more seconds to
realize the joke, and when she did, she began hitting Jessica mercilessly on the arm and back.
“Ya!  Don’t go joking about stuff like that!  I just found out Fany is…well, you know!  Who
knows what else is going on? It could be something in the water!”
When Yuri finally grew tired of hitting Jessica she changed the subject. “So, you wanna go
out someplace to eat for your birthday?”
Jessica pursed her lips in thought. “Sure, but it’ll probably have to be for dinner.  We still
have to do more Haptic filming.”
Yuri made an amused noise. “Oh the irony. Do you know how many girls will go insane
over those commercials? There will be such endless weeping and gnashing of teeth!”
Jessica gave a large smile and twirled in place. “Let them believe what they want. I
absolutely do not care what those stupid antis think.”
“Wow, you, not care about antis? We should’ve forced Tiffany on you the first day we
became a group.”
“No complaints here,” Jessica giggled.
Yuri cocked an eyebrow at the giddy girl. “Do you know how disgusting it is to see you
plastered with that idiot smile so early in the morning?”
“I know.  It’s great, isn’t it?”
Yuri put a finger in her mouth and made gagging noises. She then turned Jessica around and
began scooting her out of the bathroom. “Now would Ms. Jung be so kind as to go back to her
honeymoon and leave me in peace?  Unlike some people, I need to look pretty to catch a mate!”
Jessica stepped out and stuck her tongue out at Yuri before the door closed on her.  Turning
around, she made her way to the living room.  Back on the couch, Tiffany had rolled onto her
stomach and smothered her face into the cushion that served as the replacement Jessica.  The real
Jessica then kneeled beside Tiffany and began caressing the sleeping girl’s face with the back of her
index finger.  Slowly, Tiffany began to stir as she turned her head towards Jessica and sleepily
opened her eyes.
“Hey you,” Jessica gently whispered.
“Hey.” A drowsy smile appeared on Tiffany’s face as her eyes disappeared into the smile.
“Are you ready for a busy day?”
Tiffany turned her back to Jessica and replied, “Wake me up in a few hours and I’ll let you
know then.”
“Oh no you don’t!” Jessica shouted as she quickly stood over Tiffany and began tickling her.
“Ahahaha!  Stop, no!  That’s totally not fair!” Tiffany breathlessly protested.  She desperately
grabbed Jessica’s wrists in an attempt to reduce the range of the mischievous fingers.
“Give up?” Jessica asked as she mercifully stopped.
“Fine, fine, okay,” Tiffany relented, out of breath. She stuck her lip out and looked at Jessica.
“Meanie.”
“Poor baby,” Jessica replied sympathetically.  With her hands still locked in Tiffany’s grasp,
she leaned down and lightly kissed on the pouting lip.  As she lifted herself back up from the kiss,
Tiffany tugged her roughly back down and off her feet.
“Where do you think you’re going, you tease?” she asked with a lopsided grin on her face.
“Apparently nowhere,” Jessica answered saucily.
“Damn straight.” Tiffany said as she leaned up to kiss Jessica.
It was at that moment that Taeyeon chose to walk into the room.  Upon witnessing the
heavy make out session occurring on the couch, she immediately turned around and walked into
the nearest door.  Quickly closing the door, she shuddered, rubbing her arms vigorously.
“I REALLY did not need to see that,” she muttered, trying to remove the image that had been
burned into her brain.
Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
89 | P a g e
“See what, Taengoo?”
Taeyeon looked up at the voice and realized that she was in Sunny and Yuri’s room. Sunny
was now standing next to her, rubbing her eyes.
“Eh?” Taeyeon managed to squeak out.
“What did you see?”
“Oh, um….a bug!”
“Really?  I thought those things never bothered you.”
“Eh?”
“Taengoo, are you okay?” Sunny came up to Taeyeon and began feeling her forehead.
“Ah, don’t worry, I’m fine. I just didn’t get enough sleep.”
“Okay, if you say so,” Sunny replied doubtfully. She then looked at Taeyeon expectantly.
“What?” Taeyeon asked, nervously fidgeting.
“Move.”
“Eh?”
Sunny sighed in exasperation. “I wanna go to the bathroom. So if the leader approves of me
taking a number one, please move.”
“What? No!” Taeyeon shouted frantically. “Leader does not approve!”
Before Sunny had a chance to throw a fit, the door opened behind Taeyeon and Yuri stepped
through, nearly running into the pair.
“Something going on?” Yuri asked as she saw the distressed faces on both girls, though each
for different reasons.
“Yuri! You were outside??” Taeyeon practically shouted.
“Um, yeah.”
“And you didn’t, um, see…anyone?”
“Oh yeah, I saw the JeTi couple.”  Yuri smiled as she saw Taeyeon immediately stiffen.
“They’re watching TV right now. I think they’re waiting for breakfast.”
Taeyeon sighed in relief. “Okay Sunny, you can go.”
With that, Sunny rudely shoved past the two girls and made a beeline towards the bathroom.
Yuri gave a tiny laugh and closed the door behind Sunny.  Turning back towards Taeyeon, she
couldn’t help but laugh at the leader’s expression.
“I take it you know about the lovebirds as well?” Yuri asked.
Taeyeon’s eyes widened as she suddenly grabbed the other girl’s shoulders.
“Oh my god, yes!” Taeyeon closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. “I didn’t know how
long I was going to be able to keep it a secret! I mean it’s so huge!  Did you just find out, too?”
“Well, I’ve actually known about Sica for a while.”  Yuri responded as well as she could while
her head was flailing back and forth.
“You have no idea how good it feels to tell someone! How did you keep it secret for so long?”
“Sica would kill me,” Yuri answered simply.
Taeyeon waited for laughter to follow, but none came. “Uh, makes sense I guess.  Though,
now that I think about it, I probably wouldn’t have had to keep it a secret for very long.”
“Huh? Why’s that?”
“Judging from the way they were going at it out there, I wouldn’t be surprised if they made
out during breakfast.  I don’t think the others would buy the excuse that Jessica was trying to help
Fany chew her food.”
“Oh, don’t be such a prude.”
“Hey, you didn’t see the way they were sucking face!” Taeyeon exclaimed. “The first thing
I’m going to do when those horny bunnies leave is disinfect that couch!”
With that, Taeyeon marched out of the room and towards the bathroom.
“Sunny! Are you done yet? I need to get the shampoo out!”

Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
90 | P a g e
Jessica stifled a yawn as she watched the street lamps flash by the car window. She could
not have been happier when the director wrapped up the filming for the day.  For the last half hour,
he had everyone work on poses that would capture the essence of their relationship pairings.
Apparently her pairing’s essence was Changmin armpit, as the director continually had Changmin
stretch his arm directly over her face.  Being gay really had nothing to do with it, but rather, as a
human being, she simply could not understand how armpits turned anyone on.  Throughout the
entire ordeal, Tiffany’s group had been situated right in front of her, and from time to time, the
short haired girl would turn around to observe the pair. She always looked on with such a subtly
tragic face that it just broke Jessica’s heart.  It got to the point where Jessica felt as if she was
actually cheating on Tiffany.  But as miserable as she felt, there was a guilty little voice in her
positively rejoicing at the reaction.
Now, the three were packed into the back seat of Jooyoung oppa’s car while he drove them
home. Yoona was nodding off with her head against the window while Tiffany had already fallen
asleep and was comfortably resting her entire weight on Jessica.  Placing her head atop of Tiffany’s,
she smiled as she felt Tiffany’s head burrow against her shoulder.
It was then that a wonderful idea struck her. Looking up to the front seat, she softly called
out to her manager.
“Oppa, do you know what tomorrow’s weather is going to be like?”
“Hm?” Jooyoung’s eyes flashed up at the rear view mirror.  “I think it’s going to be a bit
cloudy, but that’s about it.”
“No rain?” she pressed.
“Well I think that’s what the weather reports say.”
“What about our schedule tomorrow?”
“Um, I think you have two concerts starting at three.”
“What?” Jessica whined, “What about Sunday?”
Jooyoung pursed his lips in thought. “I believe you guys just have one concert at 6.”
“Really?”
Jessica smiled. She was getting more excited by the minute as she realized her idea could
definitely work.  Unable to contain herself any longer she turned and gently shook Tiffany awake.
“Tiffany,” she whispered.
No response.
“Tiffany,” Jessica repeated more insistently, this time, poking the sleeping girl.
Again, no response.
Sighing, she reached over and pinched her lover’s extremely pinchable nose.  Within ten
seconds, Tiffany gave a loud snort and swatted Jessica’s hands away, coughing.  Jooyoung
momentarily turned around in surprise and Yoona quickly sat up, dazed.
“What the heck is your problem?!” Tiffany looked at Jessica incredulously.
“Unnie, what’s wrong?” Yoona asked.
“Ah, nothing Yoona,” Jessica quickly responded. “Tiffany was just waking up. We’re almost
there.”   
Tiffany continued to stare at Jessica with a look that was half mad and half confused. It was
absolutely adorable.   Feeling slightly responsible for the girl’s current state of confusion, Jessica
sympathetically patted Tiffany’s hands and quietly mouthed, “Later.”
Unsatisfied, Tiffany sulked the rest of the ride home.  Jessica, on the other hand, happily
kept to her own thoughts.  She began to further develop her plan, but was immediately sidetracked
when she got caught up imaging what Tiffany would wear.  She then started thinking about what
she wanted Tiffany to wear and tried to alter her plans accordingly. That soon quickly devolved
into her imagining Tiffany in a variety of costumed outfits.  Before she knew it, the three of them
had already reached their apartment door.  Jessica blushed as she realized that she been so
Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
91 | P a g e
engrossed in mentally dressing and undressing Tiffany that she could not even remember when
they got out of the car.
“Unnie?”
“Huh?” Jessica snapped her head towards Yoona, who was looking at her expectantly with
her hand held out.
“The key?”
“Oh!  Right!” Jessica’s blush depended as she quickly dug out the key and handed it over,
pointedly ignoring Tiffany and Yoona’s odd looks.  
Just as soon as Yoona unlocked the door and grasped the knob, the door violently yanked
open. Yoona let out a yelp as she was quickly brought down to the ground.  Inside, they heard
Sooyoung’s voice.
“How come you’re on the ground?”
“Because you nearly killed me,” Yoona moaned irritably.
Sooyoung kneeled down to help her up. “Well hurry and get up, I’ve been waiting forever
for you guys to get home!”
“Why were you waiting for us?” Tiffany asked.
“Because Taeyeon wouldn’t let us eat until you guys got back!” Sooyoung pouted. “Now
hurry up and get in here! I’m starving!”
“Ya, Taengoo,” Jessica called out when she entered the apartment. “Why won’t you let
Sooyoung eat? She almost killed Yoona because of you.”
“You should be thanking me,” Taeyeon replied, walking into the hallway. “She would have
eaten your entire birthday dinner.”
“Birthday dinner?  Weren’t we going to go out to eat?”
“We were, but it got too late, so we picked up some food instead.”
“I wanted to go to Namu,” she pouted.
“Aww, it’s okay Jess,” Tiffany said. “We’ll go some other time.” She then proceeded to wrap
Jessica up in a hug from behind.
“Hey!” Sooyoung shouted, “Less hug! More eat! Come on, we set everything up in the living
room.”
“Wait, don’t we get a chance to change?” Jessica asked.
“No!” Sooyoung quickly replied before pushing Jessica towards the food.
In the living room, a mass of food was laid out on a low table in the middle of the room.
Following Sooyoung’s lead, Jessica and Tiffany grabbed some paper plates and sat down on the
floor at the foot of the couch.
Taeyeon call out loudly. “Kids, everyone is here now!”
On cue, the entire apartment sounded a stampede as the rest of the girls ran out of their
rooms, pushing each other.  It was obvious that Sooyoung wasn’t the only one who was impatient to
eat.
Jessica laughed as she reached over to grab a couch cushion and place it on her lap.
Scooting closer to Jessica, Tiffany happily shared the cushion with her.  Jessica smiled before
suddenly wrinkling her nose as she sniffed the cushion.
“What’s wrong with the couch? It smells kinda funny, like shampoo—What?”
Jessica looked at Taeyeon, baffled at why the girl was glaring at her. She failed to notice Yuri
burying her face in her hands, desperately trying not to laugh.  Jessica quickly grabbed the bowl of
rice and began heaping spoonfuls onto her plate before she could start to feel uncomfortable at the
hate generating from Taeyeon’s eyes.
It soon became apparent that all that rice on her plate was unnecessary as she was mainly
eating her dinner from Tiffany’s chopsticks.
“Jess, ahhhh,” Tiffany said as she fed Jessica her fourth helping of bulgogi.   
Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
92 | P a g e
This was something she could definitely get used to. Smiling contently, she chewed on her
piece of meat and looked across the room where she caught Yuri’s eye.  Yuri stuck out her tongue
and made gagging motions.  Jessica ignored her and happily turned to receive another helping,
making sure to visibly enjoy the piece for Yuri’s sake.
Yuri rolled her eyes and then suddenly gave a wicked smile that Jessica knew meant trouble.
“So Sica,” Yuri spoke in a sickly sweet tone, “how was it with your oppa today?”
Jessica nearly choked on the piece of meat in her mouth as she violently coughed and
reached for some soda. The rest of the girls took the reaction the wrong way and quickly begin
ooh’ing and aah’ing.
“Details! We want details!” shouted Sunny as she violently shook her head from side to side.
“Ah, well,” Jessica stuttered uncomfortably. Her response only served to egg everyone on.
“Changmin oppa did something, didn’t he?” Hyoyeon asked with an enormous smile. “I
knew he liked you!”
“Well?  We’re waiting?” Yuri leaned in and batted her eyelashes.
Jessica met the sweet look with a soul-destroying glare.
“Ah, she’s no fun, she won’t say anything,” Sooyoung complained. Turning her attention to
Tiffany and Yoona she asked, “I’ll bet you guys got some good stuff, huh?”
Jessica had expected Tiffany to quietly defer to Yoona but was surprised to hear her quickly
respond.
“Yah, I got TOO much, you know?  I mean I had TWO lovers!” she said much to the delight of
the other girls.
Of course it was silly for Jessica to think that Tiffany was serious, she was most definitely
playing up to the crowd, but the way she fawned over Yunho and Jaejoong was TOO believable.
“Did you get to hug them? How did their bodies feel?” Sunny asked, hanging onto every
word.
That did it.  While Tiffany continued to ramble on, Jessica took advantage of their shared
cushion and discretely slid her hand atop of Tiffany’s thigh. A small action made much more
significant given the fact that Tiffany was wearing shorts.
Tiffany stopped abruptly and turned to look at Jessica. Jessica meanwhile, gave no reaction
as she reached for her cup and took a sip.
“Hey, don’t stop there!  Keep going!” begged Sunny.
“Huh?” Tiffany shifted her focus back to the conversation at hand. “Oh yeah, anyways–”
It was at that moment that Jessica decided to lightly swirl her fingers around in lazy circles.
Tiffany let out a loud shriek and dropped her chopsticks.
“Heh, sorry,” Tiffany lamely said as all eyes focused on her.
“Unnie, are you okay? Your face is kinda red,” Seohyun asked earnestly.
Eh?  R-really?  Tiffany voice raised an octave higher. “I-I think I’m just a bit tired.  YoooOO!
Ahm um, Yoona, tell them what happened to oppa after that.”
Once Yoona continued the story that Tiffany could not finish, Jessica removed her hand
from Tiffany and happily continued to eat. She wisely chose not to look at Tiffany and quietly
finished her meal.  She knew she was going to get it, but it was definitely worth it. Plus, she was
getting tired of hearing how firm Yunho’s abs were.  In the end though, it did not matter as she had
an ace up her sleeve that was definitely worth a few brownie points.
After dinner, Jessica took the chance to follow Tiffany into her room as Seohyun had
situated herself at the dinner table to finish her homework.  The moment she entered and closed
the bedroom door, she had to duck from a flying stuffed animal.
“You jerk!” Tiffany complained. “I looked like such a freak!”
“Aww, I’m sorry fanybear,” Jessica apologized, clearly not sorry.
“Go away, meanie. Your words mean nothing to me,” Tiffany pouted as she tried not to
smile at the random nickname. Judging from the other girl’s smug look, she was obviously failing.
Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?
93 | P a g e
Smiling, Jessica sashayed closer to Tiffany and brought her hands to rest firmly on Tiffany’s
behind.   With an almost predatory look in her eyes, she leaned inches from Tiffany’s face and
whispered, “Well, if it makes you feel better, I got something that’ll make it up for you.”
Tiffany raised her eyebrows when she felt Jessica’s hands attach to her rump. “Y-yeah?” she
stuttered, swallowing loudly.
“You want to know?” Jessica breathed, brushing her lips lightly across Tiffany’s jaw line,
stopping occasionally to plant soft, wet kisses.
Tiffany raised her chin in response and closed her eyes as she shivered in delight.
“Mmhmm…”
“Good, then you won’t mind waiting until Sunday, right?” Jessica’s voice returned to normal
as she abruptly released Tiffany. She then went over and sat herself down on the bed with her legs
crossed and a giant smile.
Tiffany opened her eyes and stared blankly for a moment, confused. She blinked and
focused on Jessica, whose smile was getting bigger by the second.
“You jerk!!!” Tiffany shouted for the second time as she dived towards the bed and tackled a
laughing Jessica.
CHAPTER 13:   ROUGH RIDIN’
“Jessica!” Yuri whined. “I’m tired!”
“Quit complaining, or we’ll never get done,” Jessica calmly replied, concentrating on the
apple she was cutting.
Yuri snorted.  “You mean or I’ll never get done while you just peel fruit and boss me around.
How come I’m doing all the hard stuff!?” she demanded.
“Because,” Jessica explained matter-of-factly, “as you constantly remind me, I can’t do
anything that remotely resembles cooking. Besides, I said I would do your chores for two weeks, so
I think this is a fair tradeoff.”
“I agreed to that before I realized that you wanted me to help you cook now!” Yuri looked
out the window. “Is that the sun?!”
Jessica sighed and put down her knife. “Fine, you’re off the hook, go to bed.”
“Really?” Yuri looked up from the pile of food in front of her. “No joke?”
“Yeah, yeah, get lost.”
Yuri quickly stood up before Jessica could change her mind and exuberantly began to walk
out of the kitchen. She did not get further than a few steps when she slowed down and turned
around to observe Jessica. The culinary-challenged girl was wielding a knife rather dangerously as
she proceeded to chop a carrot. Yuri winced as she saw Jessica clumsily throw her weight into each
chop, bringing the knife closer and closer to her outstretched fingers.
Yuri heaved a sigh and returned to the kitchen table, quickly removing the knife from
Jessica’s deadly grasp.  Jessica looked at Yuri in surprise.
“Thanks,” she said with relieved smile.
“Whatever,” Yuri muttered. “I would have had to wake up and take you to the hospital when
you chopped off your fingers. You’re just an accident waiting to happen.”
“Love you,” Jessica replied sweetly.
“Shutup.”

A few hours later, Jessica quietly pushed open the door to Tiffany’s room with her back,
being careful not to spill the contents of the tray that wobbled precariously in her hands.  She
gingerly stepped towards the bed and sat the tray down on the floor.  Straightening up, she
approached the head of the bed and admired the sleeping face that was occupying it.
“Fany-ah,” Jessica whispered, lightly shaking the sleeping girl. When she received no
response, she shook the lifeless body harder.
“Fany-ah,” Jessica repeated in a louder voice. With still no response, she sighed in
frustration. Why was this girl so impossible to wake up? She suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for
Hyoyeon, wondering if this was what her roommate had to deal with every morning.
Undaunted, she reached over and took hold of the cute little nose sticking out from the
sheets.  Tiffany gave a loud snort and immediately sat up coughing.  Looking around the room in
drowsy bewilderment, her eyes rested on Jessica’s smiling face. It then took Tiffany another second
to process what the proper response should be.
“Yah!  Jung Sooyeon! Stop waking me up that way!!!”
“I make no promises,” Jessica sweetly replied. She sat down on the bed and gave Tiffany a
quick kiss on her pouting lips. Pulling back, she cringed in distaste. “You need to go brush, your
breath stinks,” she stated bluntly.
Tiffany blushed and protested indignantly, “W-wha-What?!  It does not!”
“Fine, fine,” Jessica placated, pulling Tiffany out the bed. “It smells like a garden of flowers
and tastes like strawberries.  Just go and humor me!”
Rough Ridin’
95 | P a g e
“That’s not the point!” Tiffany continued to protest, even as she walked towards the door.
“It’s not something you should be telling your girlfriend!”
“Duly noted, now go!” Jessica emphasized the point with a firm smack on the butt.
Tiffany twirled around and gave a glare that only made Jessica want to repeat the act.
Tiffany seemed to recognize that fact when she observed Jessica’s grin and immediately ran out of
the room.  Jessica smiled as she took a few seconds to enjoy the view of the departing figure before
heading back into the room to pick up the tray on the floor.
When Tiffany returned from the bathroom she found Jessica sitting crossed legged at the
foot of her bed with a tray set right in the middle.  On the tray sat a plate of toast, ham, and
scrambled eggs while a cup of cold orange juice sat next to another empty cup that held a single
daisy.
“You made breakfast!” she exclaimed and quickly climbed back into bed.
Jessica nervously nibbled her finger as she watched Tiffany lift up a forkful of eggs.  Tiffany,
however, abruptly stopped and reached in to pick out a long strand of hair.  “Is this supposed to
help with digestion?” she asked.
Jessica felt her face heat up and quickly snatched the offending strand of hair. “Sorry,” she
muttered. She then proceeded to scan the plate for any other signs of shedding before returning to
her apprehensive state.  Tiffany’s eyes brightened when she swallowed the food and she quickly
shoveled another mound of eggs into her mouth.   
“Seriously Jess, this is really—OW!” She immediately dropped her fork and placed a hand on
her cheek.
“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked worriedly, praying that she had not poisoned her girlfriend,
an unlikely scenario, but one that she was not going to rule out as she vividly recalled Sooyoung’s
biological reaction to her last creation.
Tiffany fished into her mouth and pulled out a tiny white egg shell.
For the second time in a span of seconds Jessica’s face grew red.
Tiffany laughed when she saw the mortification in Jessica’s face.  “It’s okay, Jess,” she said
sympathetically. She then reached over to the glass of orange juice and took a big sip.
Tiffany’s sip ended unceremoniously when a seed from the unstrained orange juice lodged
itself in her throat. She quickly put down her glass and began making gagging sounds, sticking her
tongue out like an iguana.  Panicking, Jessica quickly got up and began gently patting her on the
back.
“I’m so sorry, Tiff!” she apologized.  “I knew I forgot to do something!”
Tiffany finally stopped gagging and gave a tiny burp. “I swallowed it,” she said in a
distressed voice, scrunching her face while her tongue remained in full extension.
Jessica went back to her seat and sat down with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, baby,” she
apologized again.  She then noticed Tiffany’s scrunched up face and extended tongue still remained.
“What is it now?!” she lamented. “I swear I didn’t do anything to the juice but squeeze it!”
“Huh?” Tiffany’s face resumed its normal position and looked at Jessica in surprise. She
then looked embarrassed. “Oh no! I just have this nasty aftertaste because of all the toothpaste and
mouthwash I used.”
Jessica could only stare at Tiffany before she burst in laughter. Tiffany, still looking a bit
sheepish, soon joined in.  When both girls finally calmed down, Jessica gave a resigned look.
“Promise to never let me cook without adult supervision,” she said gravely, removing the
tray and placing it on the floor.
“That goes for me too,” Tiffany responded wryly. “Oh! But what about the toast?”
Jessica took one look at the stale, half burnt slices of bread, and while she commended
Tiffany for her bravery, she quickly placed a restraining hand on Tiffany’s arm to stop the girl from
doing something extremely stupid. “Why don’t we just grab something when we head out?” she
suggested.
Rough Ridin’
96 | P a g e
Tiffany looked at Jessica in confusion. “Out?” she asked.
“Of course!” Jessica said, placing a hand on her chest and assuming a look of mock shock.
“Do you think my big surprise was just breakfast in bed?”
“No, I thought you were also trying to give me indigestion.”
Jessica gave her a glare before looking around in disinterest. “Well if you must know, I was
going to take you out on a date.”
Tiffany’s face lit up.  “Really? Where? Where?  Where?” she demanded excitedly.
“Oh well,” Jessica replied, nonchalantly waving a hand, “I figured we could go to the
aquarium—”
“Oh my gosh! I’ve wanted to go there since forever!”
Tiffany immediately wrapped her arms around Jessica neck in a tight embrace.  Jessica did
not really mind as she had expected and rather hoped for that reaction.  With Tiffany still attached
to her, she laughed and continued, “Yeah, I know, you were quite vocal in letting all of us know that.
And after that, we’ll have lunch and then catch a movie! We should get home before we have to
leave for our concert tonight.”
Tiffany kept her arms around Jessica and tilted her head back to give a sly look. “Wow, you
Casanova, you really got it all planned out, huh? Well don’t think that I’m going to be an easy score
just because you wine and dined me. I don’t put out on the first date.”
“Perish the thought!  Of course we’ll see what you have to say after the second date. It’ll
probably be at a rather expensive restaurant.”  Jessica emphasized the point by waggling her
eyebrows suggestively.
“Perv,” Tiffany said, grinning.
“If you say so!”
Jessica then leaned in to give a kiss that Tiffany most obligingly returned.  As always, she
savored the taste and the way her heart fluttered from the contact. The fluttering soon turned into
an intense thumping when Tiffany pushed her down on the bed.  Jessica was sorely tempted to
remain there, but the fact that she had been planning and anticipating this date for two days
overcame her primal urges.
“Tiff,” Jessica breathed, forcing herself to break the kiss. “If we want to go, we probably
shouldn’t be doing this…”
Jessica looked up and felt her breath catch as she took in the beauty before her.  Tiffany’s
soft eyes, still puffy from sleep, looked back at Jessica tenderly, and her short hair, now growing out,
spilled downwards, framing her round face.  To hell with the plans, Jessica thought as she reached
out her hand to cup Tiffany’s cheek.
“Okay,” Tiffany said in an unaffected tone.  With that, she moved away from Jessica’s
outstretched hand and sat up, smoothing out her hair. Jessica, meanwhile, remained lying on the
bed with her hand extended, grasping at air.
“Jess?” Tiffany asked as she got out of her bed. “You okay?”
Jessica dropped her hand to her side and groaned, rolling out of bed. “Peachy,” she replied.
“I’ll go throw this in the sink.” She picked up the tray on the floor and left the room muttering.
Fifteen minutes later, Jessica returned and knocked on Tiffany’s closed door. “Fany,” she
called out, “you ready?”
“In a sec,” Tiffany replied from the other side. The door then opened and Jessica was not
disappointed.  Her eyes were immediately drawn towards the blue vintage t-shirt that hugged
Tiffany’s curves. It was not so much the snugness of the material, but rather the thinness and
softness of the cotton material of it that excited her.  For some unexplained reason, Jessica had the
sudden urge to squeeze and pinch Tiffany just to see how soft the shirt was.  Complementing the
simple, yet sexy, shirt was a white double-buttoned skirt that ended just above the knees. To top
everything off, a matching blue kerchief with pink stripes was cinched around Tiffany’s waist and
knotted to the side.
Rough Ridin’
97 | P a g e
Tiffany stepped out into the hallway and gave a cute little twirl. “You like?” she asked.
Jessica’s eyes followed the skirt fluttering in the air. “More than you know,” she said, feeling
her blood churn at the glimpse of thigh. Looking up, she immediately frowned.
“Change.”
“What?”
“There’s no way I’m letting anyone else see you that hot. Change.”
Tiffany laughed but stopped when Jessica’s serious expression remained. She looked in
disbelief.
“Seriously?!”
“Change.”
Sighing, Tiffany went back into to her room, while Jessica quickly went to the kitchen to
drink a cold glass of water and take a few calming breaths.  Ten minutes later, Tiffany reappeared
with the same shirt, now tucked into a pair of dark skinny jeans. The kerchief was now sitting
fashionably around her neck.  She then repeated her previous twirl for Jessica, but this time, with
much less enthusiasm.
“Better?” she asked dryly.
“Much,” Jessica replied beaming.  She then hesitated. “But…”
“Now what?” Tiffany demanded in exasperation.
“Can’t you do something about your top? It’s a bit…”
Tiffany held up a jacket in her hand. “That’s what this is for.”
Jessica still looked worried.
“It’s light,” Tiffany explained with a sigh, “so I can keep it on the entire time, I promise, okay
mom?”
Jessica resumed her beaming. “I approve!”
“Thanks,” Tiffany replied sarcastically. She then noticed what Jessica was wearing. “Oh! I
like your outfit!”
“Oh, this?” Jessica brought a hand up to touch her pink head band and her other hand down
to touch the matching pink cotton polo shirt. “Thanks, I just put together whatever I thought
matched.” The nonchalance of Jessica’s tone belied the fact that she had spent a considerable
amount of time and effort mixing and matching her entire wardrobe to find the perfect combination.
She wanted to make sure that her appearance would be sufficiently flirty without appearing too
skanky or scream desperate to every passerby. Had it not been near dawn, she would have gone
straight to Apkujong to search for an entirely new outfit. Instead, she settled for the
aforementioned spread collar polo with shirred short sleeves pulled over her favorite “I’m feelin’
Sexica” low rise denim jeans.  She hoped that her choice to wear Tiffany’s favorite color did not go
unnoticed.
“Ready to go?” Jessica asked as she knelt down to pick up a rather large and bloated bag.
“What’s in the bag?” Tiffany said, pointing at the bloated monstrosity.
“It’s a secret,” Jessica answered mysteriously as she shouldered the bag. She then turned
around and walked towards the front door. “Come on, let’s go!”
“C’mon, Jess!  Now I HAVE to know!”
Tiffany quickly caught up with Jessica at the door and tried to peek inside the bag. Jessica
quickly spun around and knocked a knuckle on the mushroom’s head.
“No!” she said, chastising Tiffany like a bad dog.
“Ow!” Tiffany grabbed the top of her head in pain. Biting her lower lip, she blew a tuft of
hair away from her face. The extremely adorable face was replaced with a mischievous grin. A grin
that Jessica knew meant trouble. Within seconds Tiffany began tickling her mercilessly. While
Tiffany was the hyper-ticklish one, it did not mean that the other girls were immune. Tiffany also
happened to have an excellent memory concerning Jessica’s weak points.
Rough Ridin’
98 | P a g e
Fighting to maintain her balance as well as the sanctity of the bag, Jessica was helpless.
Struggling to keep her voice down, she begged, “T-Tiffany, please! Stop! You’re going to wake
everyone else up!”
Before Tiffany had a chance to reply, the front door opened and Seohyun promptly
appeared before the two girls.
“Oh! Unnies!” Seohyun gave a surprised looked at the two girls tangled up in each other.
“Um, what’s going on?”
Tiffany hastily removed herself from Jessica. “Seohyunie! Um…how come you’re not at the
library?  I thought you had a paper due?”
“Oh, it turns out that my essay is due next week, so I just got some books and did a quick
outline,” Seohyun answered, not realizing that Tiffany had answered her question with another
question.  Looking at the well-dressed pair she asked, “Where were you guys going?”
Tiffany and Jessica looked at each other uncomfortably, but before either of them could
respond, Seohyun’s sharp eyes spied the colorful brochure sticking out of the front flap of Jessica’s
bag.
“Oh my gosh! You’re going to the aquarium?! I wanna go!  Wait for me to change!” Seohyun
shouted, oblivious, like most maknaes, to the idea that there was even a remote possibility her
presence was not desired.
Jessica quickly objected, “Absolutely n—”
“Sure!” Tiffany interrupted, stepping forward to block Jessica’s shocked and outraged
expression from Seohyun’s view. “Just hurry up and be quiet, okay? Everyone else is still sleeping.”
Jessica waited for Seohyun to hurry into her room before looking at Tiffany in anger and
confusion. “Are you nuts?” she said in a strained whisper.  “This is supposed to be our day. Do you
know what a ‘date’ is? It’s when two people go out and spend time together, not three!  There are
other names for that!”
“I know but—”
“Absolutely not! Uh-uh, no way! Not happening!” Jessica emphatically insisted.
Tiffany firmly placed her hands on Jessica’s shoulders to silence her. “Jess, listen.  What
excuse were you going to tell Seohyun that she couldn’t go?”
Jessica dwelled on the question for a moment but could not come up with anything that
would make Seohyun suspicious, or at the very least, not blab about it to the others. Seeing
Tiffany’s, surprisingly calm logic, she sullenly replied, “Can’t we just ditch her right now?”
Tiffany gave her a look.
“FINE,” Jessica sighed.
“My hero,” Tiffany crooned.
“I believe heroes are rewarded with a kiss,” Jessica said with a sullen pout. She then took a
hold of Tiffany’s conveniently placed neckerchief and pulled her in.  Tiffany did not need further
encouragement and eagerly leaned in while Jessica closed her eyes to receive her consolation prize.
At that moment, Seohyun came out of her room and Tiffany immediately pushed Jessica
away. With her eyes closed, Jessica immediately stumbled backwards and knocked her head
against the wall.
“Unnie!  Are you okay? What happened?” Seohyun asked as she made her way over.
Before Jessica could answer, Sooyoung’s loud, penetrating voice carried through the hallway.
“QUIET OUT THERE! WE’RE TRYING TO SLEEP!”
“I’m peachy,” Jessica answered bitterly, rubbing the back of her head and giving Tiffany a
dirty look.
“Let’s just hurry and go before everyone else decides to yell at us too,” she continued.
Walking over to her shoes, she muttered, “I always knew that big mouth of hers was good for other
things.”  
Rough Ridin’
99 | P a g e
The girls put on their shoes and quietly left the apartment.  Smiling, Jessica took a hold of
Tiffany’s hand as both girls exited first and began to walk towards the elevator. After locking the
door, Seohyun hurried to her unnies and wormed her way in between the two, linking arms with
both of them. Seohyun gave a happy smile and it took Jessica all her strength not to throttle the
sweetness out of the younger girl’s face. Giving Seohyun a strained smile, she quickly looked
forward and breathed deep breaths.
Patience Jessica, patience…
Not to be thwarted, Jessica opened the cab door, presumably to hold it open for the other
girls. In actuality, she was putting herself in position to cut in front of Seohyun should Tiffany have
entered the cab first. Fortunately, Seohyun entered first, making cutting completely unnecessary
and Jessica was able to maintain her image as a considerate unnie.
Once she gave the driver the directions, she snuggled herself next to Tiffany, intent on
enjoying the ride.  Quietly, she entwined her fingers with Tiffany’s and allowed herself the time to
adore every aspect of the cute little digits. When she completed her thorough inspection, she
brought her eyes up to Tiffany’s face and found the girl staring back at her with equally doe-y eyes.
Jessica was perfectly aware that if she could see herself right now, she would most likely
begin dry heaving.  She was pretty sure that most of her actions the past week had been absolutely
sickening. There was nothing special or magical about Tiffany’s fingers and her eyes had been the
same eyes she had seen for the past four years. In fact, she was reminded that no more than two
weeks ago, she had openly threatened a friend with a sound beating if she did not stop flooding her
cell phone with pictures of her and her boyfriend kissing, touching, or making stupid cute faces. But
while the logical side of her brain told her this, she could not stop her heart from soaring as she
continued to stare into Tiffany’s liquid eyes.  No words were necessary; their hearts were in
perfect—
“Unnie!  Look over there!” Seohyun tugged at Tiffany’s sleeve, forcing Tiffany to break her
gaze.
Jessica closed her eyes and sighed again, resisting the urge to throw Seohyun out of the cab.
Suffice to say that when they reached the aquarium, things went along the same vein.
Whenever Jessica managed to be near Tiffany, Seohyun seemed to pull the three of them towards
another tank populated with grotesquely finned creatures. Jessica, more often than not, would
quickly remove herself and let the other two girls huddle together to ooh and ah at the mutants.
She supposed she could have sucked it up and joined them, but frankly, some of the more exotic
looking fish swimming around creeped her out.  She originally had every intention to cower in
disgust from the slimy creatures, providing her with ample opportunities to grab and
inappropriately touch Tiffany.  But Seohyun now served as an effective block that forced Jessica to
be on her best behavior, so there really was no point in grossing herself out. For Jessica, at that
moment, the only good fish was one rolled up in short grained rice and seaweed.  And the only good
maknae was a dead maknae.
“Jess! Come on! There’s an exhibit where you can pet the manta rays!” Tiffany shouted
excitedly.  She gave a smile that would have brightened Jessica’s day had Seohyun not been holding
her hand, smiling away.
Jessica took one look at the cheerful pair before responding, “Sorry, but I really wanted to go
jump in the shark tank.”
Tiffany gave her a look.
“What?” Jessica defended. “I thought it’d be more fun!”
Tiffany was about to respond when Seohyun came forward and began to tug on Jessica’s
arm. “Come on unnie!  It’ll be fun! I promise!”
Jessica looked at Tiffany’s expectant face and let out a sigh.
“Let’s go!” she said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.
Rough Ridin’
100 | P a g e
“Yay!” Seohyun shouted with joy and happily linked her arms with both Jessica and Tiffany,
guiding them towards the manta rays.
Jessica gritted her teeth.
Patience Jessica…patience.
But despite all of her misgivings, Jessica was forced to admit that the remainder of their visit
was not all that bad.  After she threw her little fit, Tiffany had apparently taken pity on her and
would quietly fall back to where she stood whenever Seohyun was too preoccupied with all the sea
creatures.  Jessica’s sulking quickly evaporated as she was able to stay close to Tiffany for extended
periods of time. She was even given ample opportunity for her inappropriate touches, creating the
desired blush, but also an unexpected and quite vigorous retaliation that left Jessica breathless.
Jessica made a mental note to throw more tantrums if she was not getting her way with Tiffany.
By the time the girls made their way through all the exhibits and tanks, it was nearing noon.
As they made their way towards the exit, Seohyun turned to Tiffany and complained, “Unnie, I’m
getting hungry!”  Tiffany then turned and passed the message on. “Jess! I’m hungry too!  Let’s find a
place to eat!”
“Alright children, calm down,” Jessica said to the two puppy-eyed girls. “Come on, let’s
catch a cab.”
Jessica quietly led the girls outside and steadfastly refused to answer any questions
regarding their destination or the type of cuisine they were going to eat. She savored the fact that
she was now more interesting to Tiffany than the stupid fish.  The cab did not travel far and within
minutes, the girls were deposited in front of a large park.  Seohyun and Tiffany looked around in
confusion as they stepped out.
“Um Jess,” Tiffany began, “I don’t see any restaurants around here.”
“Of course not, our food is right here,” Jessica said, soundly patting the large bag she had
been carrying for most of the day.  “Anyone up for a picnic?”
Jessica gave a triumphant smile as Tiffany and Seohyun let out a collective cheer.  Leading
the girls into the park with her newfound confidence, she set up shop under the shade of a tree by
an ice cream stand.  Jessica and Seohyun laid out the blanket, plates, and napkins while Tiffany ran
over to the soda machine for refreshments.  When everything was set up, Tiffany and Seohyun
watched in anticipation as Jessica slowly and dramatically brought out the food.
“Oh!  Sandwiches!” Seohyun exclaimed. “Did you make them yourself, unnie?”
“Of course,” Jessica replied smugly. She then turned to look at Tiffany.  As heartless as it
sounded, Jessica did not care a lick of what Seohyun thought and focused on gauging Tiffany’s
reaction. Tiffany, much to her credit, smiled in delight, but Jessica could see the faint hints of worry
around the girl’s eyes, most likely a natural afterglow of her breakfast experience this morning.
“It’s okay Fany, Yuri helped me make the food.”  Jessica was willing to swallow her pride to
calm Tiffany’s completely justifiable worries.  Her humility was rewarded when she saw some of
the concern fade away, but not all.
“How much help?” Tiffany asked hesitantly.
“Enough,” Jessica sniffed.  Humble or not, she wanted to have some dignity remaining.
Whether that little dignity was deserved was another question.
Tiffany picked up one of the sandwiches and looked it over carefully. “Well, they do look
pretty good,” she admitted with a smile.
Jessica felt her mood brighten and redoubled her efforts in laying out the food. Tiffany and
Seohyun gaped in wonderment as a pile of neatly wrapped sandwiches were laid out before them.
Jessica and Yuri had used nearly every ingredient they found in the refrigerator so that no two
sandwiches were alike.  When all the sandwiches were laid out, Jessica then pulled out a container
of egg salad and a large baggie of irregularly cut fruit salad.
“When in the world did you make all of this?” Tiffany asked incredulously.
“Last night, after the concert,” Jessica replied matter-of-factly.
Rough Ridin’
101 | P a g e
Tiffany visibly started. “But we got home so late!” she exclaimed.  She then looked at Jessica
suspiciously. “I’m surprised Yuri was so willing to help you.”
Jessica coughed uncomfortably. “Yeah well, she practically insisted.” She then put on a
smile and deftly changed the subject. “Well don’t wait for the flies to eat it! Hurry up and dig in!”
Within seconds, Jessica’s smile turned in to a frown as the following scene unfolded before
her.
“Unnie say ahh,” Seohyun sang sweetly, placing a sandwich in front of Tiffany’s face.
Tiffany laughed and took a large bite before lifting her sandwich up as well. “You too
Seohyunie!  Oh wait! This is better!”  Tiffany then placed her sandwich in her mouthed and leaned
forward.
“Unnie! You’re so bad!” Seohyun giggled before leaning in to take a bite.
Jessica endured the best she could, but the breaking point came when the pair began
performing sandwich love shots.  At that moment, she tightened her grip and crushed her can,
sending a fountain of soda to erupt onto the blanket.
“Unnie!  What happened?” Seohyun asked as she and Tiffany turned in surprise.
Seohyun immediately grabbed a napkin and leaned over to clean up the mess.  Irritated at
Seohyun’s concern, Jessica placed her crushed can on the ground by Seohyun and tipped it over.
Seohyun gave a startled shout and stood up to reveal a damp patch on the leg of her jeans.
“Don’t worry Seohyunie!” Tiffany said, quickly intervening. “It’s not that bad, just go to the
bathroom and wash it out. You can probably use one of the air dryers. Hurry up!”
When Seohyun was out of sight Tiffany turned to give a severe glare to Jessica, who was
innocently ignoring Tiffany, cleaning up the mess. Tiffany was able to secure Jessica’s attention
with a hard slap to the arm.
“Gosh! What’s your freakin’ problem, huh?  You’ve been acting all weird and Sica-ish today!”
Rubbing her arm, Jessica returned the glare, choosing not to comment on Tiffany’s adjective.
“Oh nothing,” she retorted hotly. “In fact, I think I’ll get out of your way so I don’t interrupt your
perfect date with Seohyun!”
Tiffany blinked in surprise as Jessica resumed drying the blanket, keeping her head down to
hide her blush.  Tiffany’s blank stare was soon replaced by a massive grin.
Poking Jessica’s shoulder repeatedly, she teased, “Je-ssi-ca! Are you jealous?”
Jessica scooted away from Tiffany’s annoying finger and turned her back. “No,” she
muttered. “Why would I be jealous?”
“You are!” Tiffany squealed in delight and wrapped her arms around the sullen girl.
“Well I’m glad my suffering is causing you much happiness,” Jessica said dryly, secretly
enjoying the warmth and weight of Tiffany against her back.  “I’ll just go jump in front of a car. That
should make you downright exuberant.”
“Awww, don’t be mad, Jess! It’s just so funny!”
“So you think it’s funny that I’m about to pound the maknae?”
“I’m not sure the fans would like that,” Tiffany said archly.
“I’m sure they can get used to an eight member Girls’ Generation,” Jessica responded with a
half smile.
“Jess…” Tiffany warned.
“How about a maknae with no teeth?”
“Jess!”
“Fine, fine! I’ll be nice,” Jessica sighed. She turned around and gave a sad pout to Tiffany.
“It’ll be okay,” Tiffany said, sympathetically patting Jessica’s hand. She leaned and
whispered with a grin, “Besides, we’re going to see a movie, right? So it’ll be nice and dark and no
one will bug us.”
Jessica’s eyes immediately brightened. “Ah! I’m so touched!” Jessica replied, pretending to
cry. “My Fany has become as dirty as me!”
Rough Ridin’
102 | P a g e
“I think I’ve got a long way to go,” Tiffany responded with a laugh. Looking at Jessica
sweetly she continued, “But seriously Jess, this has been a great date.”
Jessica suddenly brought her arms together to form a giant cross. “Oh no!” she exclaimed.
“There is NO way I’m considering THIS to be our first date! No chance!”
Tiffany suddenly stood up and quickly surveyed the area around before sitting down again.
Before Jessica could question the random act, Tiffany leaned in to give her a brief, but shockingly
deep kiss.  Tongues may have been involved, but Jessica was too flustered to be certain. All she
knew was that her mouth still tingled.
“Does that make it feel more like a date?” Tiffany asked with a bright moon-eyed smile.
Jessica blushed and muttered unintelligibly.  Smiling in triumph, Tiffany leaned in an ear.
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
Jessica narrowed her eyes at Tiffany’s smug expression. “I SAID, that it wasn’t a smart move
to turn me on like that when we’re going to be in a nice and dark theater.”
It was Tiffany’s turn to blush and she laughed nervously as she observed the gleam in
Jessica’s eyes. Fortunately, she was saved from any further danger when she spied Seohyun slowly
approaching, politely talking to a fan.  A few seconds later, the fan left and Seohyun quickly skipped
over to the girls.  When she was about ten feet away, Tiffany quickly stood up and shouted.
“Ah! No fair!” Tiffany pointed to the object in Seohyun’s hand. “Why didn’t you get any for
your unnies!”
Seohyun came over and sat down, sheepishly holding the ice cream cone in her hands.
“There were so many flavors,” she defended. “I didn’t know which ones you would like.”
Tiffany looked over at the ice cream stand where a crowd of children and their parents had
formed.  “Ahhh, the line is so long!” she complained, sitting down in a pout.  She stared in longing at
Seohyun’s cone before asking, “What flavor is that?”
“Pistachio,” Seohyun replied absentmindedly trying to lick the melting ice cream around the
sides.
Tiffany gasped, “I LOVE pistachio!” She then leaned over and attempted to lick the cone.
“Unnie! Stop!” Seohyun wailed, twisting her body around to shield her dessert from
Tiffany’s tongue. Tiffany, however, was undeterred and snaked her body around Seohyun. The
younger girl then let out a scream as Tiffany achieved her goal.
“Unnie! You took too much!” Seohyun shouted, half laughing, half crying. “Sica unnie! Help
me!”
Not trusting herself to say anything, Jessica gave Seohyun a tight smile and continued to
watch Tiffany hang over the younger girl, happily taking licks at her cone.  Her left eye twitched
uncontrollably as she felt an insane wave of envy wash over her.  Looking away, she picked up
another sandwich and took a large angry bite out of it. Immediately, her eyes bulged and she spit
out the mashed remains into her hand.  Inspecting the sandwich, she found a thick slice of
cucumber cleverly hidden in the center. Jessica narrowed her eyes.
Kwon Yuri…I’m going to kill you…

“Ahhh! I’m so tired!” Hyoyeon announced as she opened the door to the apartment.  The
rest of the girls slowly filtered in, in similar states of exhaustion.
“My turn to shower first!” Taeyeon happily exclaimed as the rest of the girls began heading
to their rooms to wind down for the night.
“I don’t think I should have eaten so much,” Yoona moaned, kicking off her shoes.
“So why did you?” Sunny asked laughing, showing no sympathy as Yoona cradled her
stomach.
“I couldn’t help it! The food was so good and Jooyoung oppa said the meal was on him!”
Yoona made another dramatic moan before continuing. “Let me know when it’s my turn to shower,
I’m going to be lying on the bed.”
Rough Ridin’
103 | P a g e
“I guess I shouldn’t have had that chicken wing challenge with her” Sooyoung said with a
smirk.
“Probably, but it was worth it to see oppa’s reaction when he got the bill,” Sunny said, still
laughing.
Tiffany joined in the laughter and turned to Jessica. “You’d better watch out Jess, now that
Yoona is knocked out, Sooyoung might come after you.”
“Mm yeah,” Jessica mumbled as she busied herself removing her coat. She pointedly
ignored the injured look on Tiffany’s face and went straight to her room.  Sunny and Sooyoung gave
looks of confusion as they watched Jessica briskly walk by.
“She’s a little tired,” Tiffany lamely said.
Sooyoung and Sunny looked at each other and shrugged before heading off to their rooms.
Just as Tiffany decided to retreat into her own room to sulk, Seohyun stepped out into the hallway,
looking for her.
“Unnie, thanks for letting me borrow your bracelet, I left it on your night stand,” Seohyun
yawned and rubbed her eyes tiredly.
“No problem.” Tiffany took a closer look at Seohyun and noticed the dark rings sitting
under the younger girl’s bloodshot eyes. “I’m showering next after Taeyeonie, why don’t you take
my place?” she offered.
“Oh no, it’s okay,” Seohyun said. “I want to watch keroro later tonight anyways.”
“It’s okay Seohyunie. You’ll be more awake if you shower, otherwise you’ll just pass out and
miss your show.”
Seohyun could not argue with that logic. She quickly agreed to Tiffany’s suggestion and
went to watch some TV while waiting for her turn.  Just as Seohyun entered the living room, Jessica
had stepped out of her room, dressed in sweats, and headed towards the kitchen.  Tiffany quickly
ran over and intercepted Jessica while her head was in the refrigerator.  When Jessica closed the
door she looked up in shock as Tiffany suddenly appeared in front of her.
“What do you want?” Jessica asked flatly when she recovered.
Tiffany looked at Jessica in frustration before dragging the ice princess into her room.  Once
she pulled Jessica inside, she closed the door and leaned on it, blocking off any means of escape.
“Come on, Jess,” Tiffany pleaded. “Why are you like this?”
“Like what?” Jessica asked coldly, crossing her arms.
“Like that!” Tiffany exclaimed. “You’ve been sulky ever since we left the movie theater!”
Jessica’s voice took on a tone of irritation. “Well excuse me if I’m a bit ‘sulky’ since I had to
watch a crappy movie with some random stranger snoring on my left, and a maknae that hogged all
the popcorn to my right!”
“Is that all?” Tiffany asked confused.
“Is that—” Jessica looked at Tiffany incredulously. “You don’t get it Fany! I spent so much
time planning and preparing for today that I literally didn’t get any sleep! But instead of having a
special day with my girlfriend, I had to be a chaperone for a field trip!”
“Oh,” Tiffany replied guiltily, unsure of what to say.
“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Jessica said bitterly. “And just when I thought things would get better at the
theater, when I come back from the bathroom, I find that the maknae was sitting in the seat I
specifically recalled asking you to save!”
“That wasn’t my fault!” Tiffany defended. “I dropped my purse and after I picked it up,
Seohyun was there all of the sudden!”
“You could have tried to save the OTHER seat!”
“There was already someone else there!”
Jessica threw up her hands in exasperation and collapsed on Tiffany’s bed. She knew she
was being irrational, but she was tired and cranky and the frustration had been building the entire
Rough Ridin’
104 | P a g e
day.  She felt the bed dip as Tiffany came over and sat next to her head. Scooting herself closer,
Tiffany lifted Jessica’s head and gingerly placed it on her lap.
“I’m really sorry, Jess,” she said sincerely, stroking the side of Jessica’s head.
“It’s okay,” Jessica sighed as she felt herself become drowsy under Tiffany’s gentle caresses.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you, it wasn’t your fault. I just wanted today to be so perfect, but instead it
went thpt!”
“Don’t worry, it was an absolutely perfect date,” Tiffany reassured. She leaned down and
gave Jessica a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for a wonderful day.”
Jessica turned to look up at Tiffany with a raised eyebrow. “Are you just saying that to
butter me up?”
“Maybe.”
Jessica laughed and sat herself up. “Now who’s the Casanova?”
“You really didn’t have that bad of a day, did you?”
“If you knew how much I wanted to hurt our precious maknae, you wouldn’t ask that.”
“You actually made it quite clear the entire day,” Tiffany said wryly.
Jessica gave a forlorn sigh. “I wish we could have a do over.”
“So why don’t we?”
“Pardon?”
“Well, not a do over per se,” Tiffany explained. “I mean, can’t we just continue the date?”
Jessica looked curiously at Tiffany’s sparkling eyes. “Unless you want to go to the
convenience store, there aren’t many options available this late at night.”
“I don’t think the roof has any specific operating hours,” Tiffany suggested with a smile.
“Seriously?”
“Why not? We still have some sandwiches and weirdly cut fruit salad left.”
“It’s gonna be cold,” Jessica said doubtfully.
“Are you trying to make this difficult?” Tiffany asked. “I’ll go grab some blankets then.”
“Actually,” Jessica interrupted, becoming more excited by the idea, “I’m sure we can make
do with just one tiny blanket.”
“I’m glad you’re starting to see things my way,” Tiffany said, returning the smile.  She then
stood up, pulling Jessica with her. “I’ll get the food, okay?”
Jessica nodded and replied, “I’ll go and grab a blanket.”
But before Jessica had a chance to move, Tiffany leaned in closely and whispered, “Oh, and
you’re not the only one who REALLY wanted some alone time today.”
With a seductive wink, Tiffany turned around and sauntered out of the room while Jessica
stood dumbfounded. When the words finally sunk in, her eyes lit up and she bolted out of the room
and ran straight into the bathroom.
Seohyun let out a shriek from the shower stall as Jessica burst through the door.
“Unnie! What are you doing in here?!”
“Sorry Seohyun!” Jessica quickly apologized before grabbing the mouthwash and gargling
with it.  Amidst Seohyun’s protestations, she spit out the burning mouthwash, quickly wiped the
foggy mirror and began to straighten out her hair with a comb.
“Unnie!” the maknae shouted for the eighth time. “Get out!!!”
Much to Seohyun’s relief, Jessica finally left the bathroom and went to the hallway closet to
grab one of their smaller blankets.
“You ready, Jess?” Tiffany asked, as she came out of the kitchen with the bag of leftovers.
Jessica looked critically at the sweats she was wearing and momentarily considered
changing before deciding to stay in her comfortable clothes as they were more snuggle-friendly.
Before she could respond to Tiffany, she saw Yuri coming out of her room.
“Go and get your shoes on,” she told Tiffany. “I’ll be right there.”   
Rough Ridin’
105 | P a g e
She waited for Tiffany to leave before she stalked towards Yuri, who had been standing by
her door, watching the pair with an amused expression.
“Having more fun?” Yuri asked looking suggestively at the blanket Jessica was holding.
“None of your business,” Jessica flatly replied.
“Okay, I won’t pry,” Yuri said laughing. “I only came out because I thought you were
murdering the maknae.” Yuri’s eyes danced playfully. “Which reminds me, how did your
threesome go today?”
Jessica stepped closer to Yuri with a murderous look on her face. Startled, Yuri backed
away until her back was pressed against the wall. Before she could say anything, Jessica reached up
and flicked her loudly on the forehead.
“Ow!” Yuri shouted as she rubbed the red welt on her head. “What was that for?”
Jessica maintained her glare. “You know, I distinctly recall that there weren’t any
cucumbers around when we were making the sandwiches.”
Yuri gave a nervous smile. “Oh, heh, yeah, that.”
“Yeah, ‘that’.” Jessica said through clenched teeth.  She then raised a hand, ready to deliver
another solid flick.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Yuri pleaded, covering up her forehead with both hands. “You only
have to do my chores for a week and a half!”
Jessica lowered her hand and Yuri sighed in relief.  The sigh, however, was premature as
Jessica suddenly brought both of her hands up to bear another deadly flick.
“A week?” Yuri amended meekly as she attempted to shrink away from the hands that
looked ready to strangle the life out of her.
Undeterred the hands continued their descent onto Yuri.
“Yah, Sica…what do you think you’re…no! Stop! Help! Fany! Anybody!”
CHAPTER 14:   WHAT IS THIS THING C ALLED LOVE?
For most of her young life Tiffany Hwang had been in various states of love.  When she was
seven, she was in love with a chubby, loudmouthed brat of a classmate because he always gave her
candy.  In junior high, she and her friends were in love with the entire junior-varsity basketball
team, while in high school, it was the varsity squad.  Recently, Tiffany had discovered tiny incidents
in her past that, when viewed through the wise lens of hindsight and a better understanding of her
own self, revealed that she had been in love even more than she had realized.
One such incident occurred when she was fourteen.  She had a neighbor across the street
who she thought, at the time, was the most stunning female to grace the earth.  Her shimmering
blonde hair and deep blue eyes were highlighted with devastating effect by her well developed
figure. This fertile looking teen caused much consternation among the wives of the neighborhood
and the majority their husbands would briskly walk by her, awkwardly averting their eyes.  The
girl’s family mainly kept to themselves so Tiffany did not even know her name, but she could tell the
girl was a high school student, and judging from the constant trendy teenage visitors, quite popular.
The window in Tiffany’s room was situated so that it offered a perfect vista of the front of
the neighbor’s house.  Occasionally, as she was getting ready for bed, she would catch glimpses of
the girl entering and exiting the house to meet up with her friends for some late night soiree.  At
first, the glimpses were only incidental, but after time, Tiffany began to dawdle in her nighttime
preparations in hopes of seeing the beautiful girl. It was akin to gazing at the night sky to look for a
shooting star. Some nights, Tiffany would stare and stare, only to fall asleep at the window, waking
up a few hours later with a crick in her neck. Other times, her patience would be rewarded with a
fleeting glimpse of the girl’s hair streaking across as she ran out the door (sometimes window) and
into a waiting friend’s car. Yet, that brief glimpse was enough for Tiffany, allowing her to release a
contented sigh and doze off into peaceful slumber.
Only now was it blatantly obvious to her that she was in love with her nameless neighbor,
though infatuated might have been a better term.  It explained the delight she felt in all the brief
glimpses or the sigh of discontent for every silent night. It explained the jealousy she felt when she
saw the girl hop into her boyfriend’s car and why she fumed in rage when the boyfriend would kiss
and touch her.  It also explained the deep melancholia she felt when, one morning, a giant moving
van pulled up to the front of the house.
So yes, Tiffany Hwang could say with some confidence that she had experienced love, and
that was not even considering her most recent obsession with Dennis Oh.  The only problem was
that Jessica Jung could not be explained by any of her past experiences, and the feelings she felt for
the girl were unlike any she had ever felt before.
Tiffany instinctively looked at Jessica. Her girlfriend was standing next to her, using a music
stand as desk, jotting down notes into the margins of sheet music. Tiffany took the time to enjoy the
slender girl’s visually pleasing figure as she silently pondered over her dilemma.  It had only been
two weeks since they had decided to test the waters of an intimate relationship. Though to be more
accurate, it was Tiffany that was doing the testing. Jessica seemed primed from day one to dive in
headfirst.  Without a life vest. The way her new girlfriend said “I love you” with the utmost
confidence and sincerity both delighted and terrified her.
She knew that Jessica was in no way pressuring her to say those three life-altering words,
but she could pick out the hidden signs of disappointment every time Jessica made the
proclamation and all she could do was awkwardly reply, “Uh-huh.”
Tiffany frowned. She had been under the mindset that this kind of pressure did not
manifest itself until much later into a relationship, though she was obviously no authority on the
subject matter.  Her best conjecture was that because she and Jessica had known each other for so
What Is This Thing Called Love?
107 | P a g e
long and were living and spending every waking minute together, everything was now accelerated,
effectively shortening the honeymoon phase to maybe a week, at best.  In fact, though they had been
dating for such a short time, Tiffany felt as if they had always been together and could scarce
imagine herself not with Jessica.
She had no idea why she could not understand her own feelings.  It was pretty obvious that
she was happy with Jessica and could admit, with some blushing, that she was physically attracted
to her.  But Tiffany was certain that being in love was more than enjoying one’s partner’s company
and body.
Feeling eyes on her, Jessica looked up.  Tiffany blushed and looked away, embarrassed that
she was caught staring.  With a smile, Jessica put down her pencil and stepped behind Tiffany,
embracing her in a tight hug.  Resting her chin in the crook of Tiffany’s neck, she breathed in deeply
and released a soft stream of warm air.  Tiffany shivered at the sensation and her blush burned
brighter when she felt Jessica’s body press closely against her back.  The ice princess, despite her
nickname, had always been a touchy-feely sort of gal, but since they had gotten together, it
appeared that Jessica was determined to be Tiffany’s new coat, or rather swimsuit.  Of course
Tiffany had no objections. In fact, it took a great deal of self control not to turn around and attempt
to swallow Jessica’s lips whole. While hugging looked perfectly innocent to the casual onlooker,
Tiffany was pretty sure making out would definitely raise some eyebrows. Not to mention the fact
that Seohyun, who was resting on a nearby chair, would probably explode at the sight.  But before
Tiffany had a chance to fully enjoy the warmth of Jessica’s body spread through her back, Jessica
suddenly straightened up and took a step back.
“I’ll be back in a bit,” she announced and began walking towards the exit of the practice
room.
“Wait, where are you going?” Tiffany asked, startled.
“Just grabbing a snack.”
“Oh okay, I’ll go with you!”
“Uh, no it’s okay, Tiff, I’ll be back soon,” Jessica said and quickly hurried out.  As the door
slowly closed, Tiffany could see Jessica pull out her cell phone and begin dialing as she walked
down the hallway.
That was another problem.  Lately, Jessica had been fluctuating wildly between hot and cold.
At times, Tiffany thought the older girl was ready to claim her innocence on the spot but then
suddenly withdraw and excused herself from the room.
It was this detachment that compounded Tiffany’s confusion.  Could Jessica sense that
Tiffany’s emotions did not run as deep as hers and was accordingly pulling back?  Tiffany was not
certain if it was anything specific she was doing.  Was she acting more like a friend rather than a
girlfriend?  The more she thought about it, the more she began to doubt her own feelings for Jessica.
She had even started to wonder if she had taken advantage of Jessica’s sincere emotions simply for
the opportunity to be loved.  It was a terrifying thought that haunted her frequently.
“Something wrong, unnie?”
Tiffany looked over to Seohyun, who had made her way over.
“Huh? Oh no,” she mumbled. She then forced a smile and quickly changed subjects. “So, are
you ready for tomorrow?”
Seohyun’s face immediately became worried. “Ah! Unnie, don’t remind me!” she said,
dismayed. “I wish we were doing some dancing thing and not just standing around. Everyone is
going to judge me!”
“There, there,” Tiffany crooned, taking Seohyun in her arms. “We’re Girls’ Generation,
remember? They’re ALWAYS going to judge us…and pretty harshly too.”
“That didn’t help at all, unnie,” Seohyun pouted.
Tiffany laughed. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, stroking the taller girl’s hair. “You don’t have
to worry about anything, okay? Oppa Nappa is a perfect song for you and you’re going to break
What Is This Thing Called Love?
108 | P a g e
everyone’s heart when they hear you sing.  All the oppas and unnies are going to fall in love with
you.”
Seohyun looked up and crinkled her face. “Unnie! That’s gross! I don’t want unnies to fall
in love with me!”
“Ah, well, it’s the twenty-first century, Seohyunie,” Tiffany said uncomfortably.
“No unnie!” Seohyun said adamantly. “Wrong is wrong!”
Tiffany was not sure how to respond to Seohyun, but suddenly she felt very dirty.
The door to the room opened and Jessica reentered, smiling when she noticed Seohyun’s
distressed face. “Is our maknae worried?” she asked with a laugh.
“Yeah,” Tiffany answered thankfully, removing herself from Seohyun’s arms. She then
looked at Jessica in confusion. “Where’s your snack?”
“Huh? Oh, I ate it on the way back. I was pretty hungry, I guess,” Jessica answered with a
weak laugh.
Tiffany frowned at the unsatisfying response, and stared suspiciously at the cell phone in
Jessica’s hand. Noticing Tiffany’s eyes, she quickly tucked away the cell phone into her back pocket.
Around the same time Jessica had started to exhibit her bipolar tendencies, she had begun spending
an inordinate amount of time on the phone.  Just today, Jessica had excused herself from Tiffany’s
side to answer her phone on at least three separate occasions.
“Hey, let’s go get lunch now okay?” Jessica abruptly declared, glancing up at the wall clock.
“We’ve been in here way too long.”
“Let’s go to the noodle house!” Seohyun volunteered.
“Sorry Seohyunie,” Jessica quickly apologized. “But I was kind of hoping to go to the
hamburger café across the street. Is that okay?”
Without waiting for an answer, she walked away to grabbed her things. Tiffany and
Seohyun exchanged surprised looks before quickly grabbing their own belongings.  They caught up
with Jessica and the three of them made their way out of the building to the row of restaurants and
cafés that lined the opposite side of the street.
Once outside, Tiffany noticed that Jessica had discretely fished out her cell phone again and
was checking it every few seconds. For the entire walk over, Jessica remained distracted and gave
short, half-hearted replies before sneaking another glance at her phone.  Inside the café, the girls sat
in one of the tiny booths at the back. Seohyun and Tiffany squeezed into one side while Jessica sat
opposite of them. Tiffany frowned when she saw Jessica place the phone on the table.
“What are you going to get, Jess?” Tiffany asked brightly. She picked up the paper menus on
the table and forcefully gave one to each girl in hopes of diverting Jessica’s attention.  The plan
seemed to work as Jessica took a hold of the menu and, with a serious expression, began to weigh
the benefits and calories of each item.
“I need to watch what I eat, so I guess I’ll go with the grilled chicken burger,” she said
begrudgingly, though her eyes were still scanning over the menu.
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Jess, if you need to watch what you eat, then maknae is fat.”
Seohyun dropped the menu and looked at Tiffany with tears in her eyes. “I’m fat?!” she
wailed.
“Ah, nonononono,” Tiffany said, tumbling over her own words. “I was just trying to show
Jessica that she’s not fat!”
“By saying I was?!”
“No! I mean that both of you guys aren’t fat!”  Tiffany mentally kicked herself as she
watched Seohyun vigorously pinch around her waist.  
Jessica laughed, “Seohyun-ah, don’t worry.  You’re slim and beautiful, okay?  Even
Sooyoung’s complaining about how skinny you are.”
Seohyun calmed down a bit, but still looked at Jessica with slightly wild eyes. “But then why
did unnie say that?”
What Is This Thing Called Love?
109 | P a g e
“Don’t worry about it. Your poor Fany unnie just put her foot in her mouth again.  I think
she likes the taste.”
Tiffany glared at Jessica. “You seem to be enjoying this,” she said acidly.
“Of course I am,” Jessica replied with a seductive smile. “You know how much I love that
mouth of yours, especially when things go in it.”
Tiffany’s face immediately caught fire. Seohyun was completely lost as she looked at the
mysteriously smiling Jessica and the blushing Tiffany. She was about to ask exactly what her unnies
were talking about before the phone on the table rang.
“Be back,” Jessica said shortly, grabbing her cell phone and heading towards the back exit of
the café.
“Jess, wait!” Tiffany called out.  However, she was stopped from pursuing when a waiter
came over and blocked her way out of the booth. The poor waiter stuttered and stumbled over his
words, blissfully unaware that his favorite idol wanted to murder him at that moment.
After a few failed attempts, the waiter managed to take down their orders and left. Tiffany
bit her lip in frustration and decided to strike up a conversation with Seohyun to get her mind off
her worries. Unfortunately, Seohyun had other ideas as she pulled out a workbook from her bag.
“Seohyun-ah,” Tiffany complained, “it’s lunch, just relax for now, okay?”
Seohyun vigorously shook her head. “Unnie, I can’t! I’m soooo behind!”
“Fine, fine,” Tiffany relented.  Without a suitable means to distract herself, her mood
continued to deteriorate with every second Jessica did not return. Unable to take it anymore she
went to the bathroom.
At least that was what she told Seohyun.
Once Tiffany made her way to the back, she placed a hand on the bathroom door, feigning to
go in. When she was certain Seohyun was not looking, she quickly walked over to the back exit.
Pushing the door open ever so slightly, she peered through the tiny crack. Outside she saw the back
of Jessica, standing in the parking lot, her arms folded and impatiently tapping her feet.  As Tiffany
wondered what Jessica was waiting for, a black sedan rolled into the parking lot and stopped in
front of her.
Jessica dropped her hands on her hips and began to walk towards the car. The driver’s door
opened and a woman stepped out, her face and most of her body obscured by Jessica.  Tiffany
creaked opened the door as far as she thought safe, trying to get a better view.  As Jessica came
closer to the car, the woman’s identity was finally exposed. The shock she felt bordered on
traumatic.
It was Anna.
“Are you okay, Miss?”
Tiffany gasped and whirled around to see her waiter nervously fidgeting and looking at her
oddly.
“Oh yeah, thanks,” she mumbled.  Hoping to distract the waiter from her odd behavior, she
gave a bright smile, and noted with satisfaction how his knees seemed to buckle.
The back door then opened and Jessica stepped through, stopping when she saw the
crowded hallway.
“Tiff,” Jessica said in surprise. She guiltily glanced back at the door. “What’s going on?”
“Huh? Oh, I just came out of the bathroom,” Tiffany said, trying to calm her racing mind and
the thousands of questions clamoring to be answered.  She then possessively linked arms with
Jessica and led her back to their booth.
“What’s with him?” Jessica whispered as they passed the mesmerized waiter.
“Dunno,” Tiffany replied.  She gave Jessica a speculative glance and asked her nonchalantly,
“So what were you doing outside?”
“Oh, a friend called with some boy troubles.”
What Is This Thing Called Love?
110 | P a g e
“Oh.” Tiffany suppressed the urge to shake Jessica and shout, “Liar!” at the top of her lungs.
She also decided not to point out the obvious fact that Jessica was probably not the most ideal
person to call to gain any insight on the male mind.
For the rest of the day, Jessica appeared distracted.  During the remainder of their practice,
her mind would wander, and when they took a break, she would be absorbed in punching extensive
notes on her cell phone. But if Jessica’s mind was not in the same room, Tiffany’s mind was
altogether on a different planet.  She simply could not grasp why Jessica would meet with Anna for
voluntary reasons. The universe screamed against the very idea.
With two of the three girls preoccupied, practice dragged on longer than usual and they did
not return to the apartment until dinner time.  Taeyeon came to greet the trio as they entered the
front door.
“Waaah,” she said expansively, “my diligent children are working so hard for their special
debut tomorrow!  Hurry, hurry! Dinner’s on the table!” She stepped aside to give the girls a clear
path to the dining area.
Seohyun walked by with a grateful smile while Jessica nodded in her usual quiet manner.
Tiffany, though, trailed behind with a slightly wild and dazed expression on her face.
Taeyeon watched in perplexity as Tiffany slowly shuffled by her.
“Uhh, Fany?” Taeyeon asked when Tiffany had finally passed.
“Mm?” Tiffany turned around, her eyes unfocused.
“You okay?” she asked hesitantly.
“Huh? “ Tiffany snapped alert and looked at Taeyeon’s concerned face.  “Oh yeah,” she
answered as casually, forcing a smile. She then turned around and walked away before Taeyeon
could press her with anymore questions.
At the dinner table, Tiffany made a concerted effort to look as natural as possible so as not
to draw anymore suspicion.  At the same time, she tried to discretely observe Jessica, as if that
action would help solve her problems. Eventually, she gave up due to a sore neck since Jessica sat
immediately to her right.  Instead, on an impulse born out of fear, she placed a hand atop Jessica’s
knee. Jessica looked at Tiffany in surprise and gave a small smile, affectionately patting Tiffany’s
hand before turning back to her meal and Hyoyeon’s story.  The gesture somewhat abated Tiffany’s
irrational panic, but did little to quell her worries.
When dinner concluded, Tiffany and Jessica retreated to Jessica’s room while Hyoyeon,
Sunny, and Sooyoung sprawled out in the living room to watch a drama.  Four days ago, the three
girls had rediscovered an old drama and promptly rented the entire series in a determined effort to
watch every episode within one week. That gave Jessica free use of her room, allowing Tiffany and
herself time to just lie about on the joined beds and enjoy each other’s presence.  Tiffany had
considered forgoing that quiet time today, but reconsidered when she realized that she would have
had to explain to Jessica the many uncomfortable reasons why.
So there she was, on the bed with her music playing noisily in her ears and her head
comfortably resting in Jessica’s lap. Jessica, meanwhile, sat with her back against the wall and feet
extended. She was engrossed in another one of her long books, absently puffing her cheeks while
her free hand lazily brushed up and down Tiffany’s arm.
The appearance of such serenity starkly contrasted the noise in Tiffany’s mind.  She had
since given up trying to reason why Jessica met with Anna. Without asking either girl directly, she
could only guess, and many of her speculations left an uncomfortable taste in her mouth. She was
now more troubled with the fact that Jessica had lied to her and kept the rendezvous secret.
Tiffany’s mind was suddenly brought back to reality when she shivered in response to the
delicate brushes of Jessica’s fingertips. Looking up at the intent reading expression on Jessica’s face,
she decided to try once more to draw the answer out.
“Ah,” Tiffany sighed, taking the earbuds out of her ear. “I’m so excited about our OhNa
debut tomorrow.”
What Is This Thing Called Love?
111 | P a g e
Jessica tore her eyes away from the book and smiled at Tiffany. “Yeah, I just wish Seohyun
wasn’t chaperoning us.  Why is she around again?”
“She is kind of important, Jess,” Tiffany responded wryly. She then made a face and
continued, “Not like Anna, now that’s unnecessary baggage.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me.”
“I mean, what the hell is her problem? It’s like she hates all of us, especially you!”
“Yeah, I know,” Jessica sighed.  Her face then took on a thoughtful expression. “I think that’s
just the way she is, though.  It’s probably not personal.”
“Huh?”
“Well, I mean, at least when we ask her for something, she acts somewhat like a manager.
We probably shouldn’t take everything she says as an intentional jab at our character.”
Tiffany DEFINTELY did not like that response and a knot was slowly beginning to form in
the pits of her stomach.  But before she had a chance to strongly object, Jessica had changed the
topic.
“Gosh I feel like we’re an old married couple right now.”
“Oh?”  Tiffany’s objection was momentarily forgotten when Jessica’s hand dropped down to
just below her shorts and began to casually caress her bare thigh. “I-Is that a bad thing?” she
managed to say, trying to focus her thoughts.
“Not really.”  Jessica then gave a shy smile and leaned over Tiffany’s face. “It’s just that I’d
prefer to be a newly married couple on their honeymoon,” she whispered.
Tiffany blushed and playfully swatted at Jessica’s head. “How can you act all shy and
perverted at the same time?”
Jessica dodged Tiffany’s hand and answered, “I’m perverted because you’re so hot.” Her
eyes then softened and she reached out to caress Tiffany’s cheek. “And I’m shy because I’m in love
with you.”
Tiffany felt her heart race and her body actually begin to tremble.
“Uh…y-yeah…thanks.”
Kicking herself for the stupid response, she looked away in embarrassment, but not before
she clearly saw the hurt in Jessica’s eyes. She absolutely hated that look. It always seemed to
effectively transmit the pain directly into her chest.
The room was filled with awkward silence as the two girls, still intimately positioned,
avoided each other’s eyes.  They were mercifully saved by a sharp rapping from the door.
“Five minute talk, you guys!” boomed Taeyeon’s voice. More loud knocks could be heard as
Taeyeon went to each room to repeat the call.
Silently, both girls got up and went outside to the living room where everyone had gathered.
Taeyeon was coming out of another room with Seohyun in tow and spotted them.
"Great,” she said, “we can start now.”
“Is this really necessary?” Sooyoung complained, lying on the floor with the remote in her
hand.  “I mean, I could understand if it was a weekday and we all had our own schedules, but most
of us were just sitting around today. What do you want us to say?  That we ate, slept, and pooped?”
Taeyeon walked over and took the remote from Sooyoung’s grasp. “We’re doing it because
it’s a good habit to keep while we’re on break. Your precious drama can wait. Now form up.”
Sooyoung reluctantly lifted herself up and joined the rest of the girls as they sat down in a
large circle around the living room, ready to share their day’s events.
“So who’s going first?” Hyoyeon asked when the circle was complete.
“I think Sooyoung volunteered,” Yuri replied with a smirk.
“You know, I think you’re right,” agreed Taeyeon.
Sooyoung glared at Yuri, but before the glares could go any further, a phone began ringing.
Tiffany had been sitting by the outlet where Jessica’s cell phone was being charged when it abruptly
What Is This Thing Called Love?
112 | P a g e
went off.  She turned around to silence it, but hesitated as she saw the name on the display. The
caller ID read “b1tch”.  That was the not-so-subtle nickname that Jessica had assigned to Anna.
Jessica, sitting next to Tiffany, frantically clambered over her to reach the phone, startling
everyone.  She quickly answered it in a hushed whisper, telling the caller to wait a moment.
“Who was that?” Yuri asked as Jessica stood up to leave.
“Huh?  Oh, it’s Krystal.” She looked around the circle in apology. “Sorry guys,” she said. “I
really need to take this call. Fany and Seohyun can speak for me though.”  Without waiting for an
answer, she turned and headed out the apartment.
“Was it really necessary to go outside?” Sunny asked oddly.
“I don’t blame her,” muttered Sooyoung.
Taeyeon turned and leveled a gaze at Sooyoung. “How come?”
“How come what, unnie?” Sooyoung asked back, innocently blinking her eyes.
Taeyeon rolled her eyes.  “Just get on with it.”
Tiffany did not pay attention from that point on. Her mind was busy trying to convince
itself that she had read the caller ID incorrectly. When it came to her turn, she simply passed the
load off to Seohyun, who now shouldered the burden of explaining her entire day in detail since her
two unnies had completely flaked. Tiffany was too occupied to feel guilty though, and she worriedly
watched the front door, willing Jessica to return.  When all the sharing had finished, Jessica still had
not come back and Tiffany had worried herself to the point of an ulcer. She felt so sick and
nauseous that she did not know if she wanted to cry or throw up.  She decided it would probably be
best to hide in her room for the rest of the night.  As she began to make her way over, Sunny
intercepted her with a concerned look.
“Fany-ah,” she asked softly. “Are you okay? You look like you’re ready to spill your dinner.”
“Oh yeah, I’m totally fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Tiffany answered with a smile.
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.”
Sunny looked at Tiffany for a moment. “Okay,” she said doubtfully. “You know where to
find me.”
Tiffany smiled and left for her room but stopped short again when she spotted Taeyeon
standing by her doorway.
“You know, Sunny didn’t believe a single word,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Too bad, because it’s true,” Tiffany sniffed.
“I don’t believe it either.”
Tiffany felt her resolve begin to crumble, but quickly straightened herself. “Well I’m telling
you that I’m fine, okay?”
Taeyeon looked at her sadly.  “Are you two fighting?”
At that point, Tiffany was ready to confess everything to Taeyeon when Seohyun appeared
in the hallway. Taeyeon, distracted by the movement, looked away and Tiffany took that
opportunity to hurry into her room and dive in her bed. Taeyeon then called out in a whisper from
the doorway.
“Fany, you gotta be able to talk to Sica when you have these kinds of problems with her,
okay?” When Tiffany did not respond, she sighed and left.
A few seconds later, Seohyun came into the room and asked, “What did Taengoo unnie
want?”
“She just wanted to talk,” Tiffany replied as she buried herself further into the covers.
“Unnie, are you okay? It’s pretty early for bed, at least for you.”  Seohyun walked up to the
bed and felt Tiffany’s forehead.
“Uh, yeah, it’s um, cramps,” Tiffany mumbled as she tried to turn away from Seohyun’s hand.
The maknae looked at Tiffany in confusion. “So soon already?”
What Is This Thing Called Love?
113 | P a g e
“Oh, uh…” Tiffany creased her forehead as she tried to think quickly.  “It’s
probably…because I talked to my unnie on the phone yesterday, so I got caught in the time zone
change.”
Seohyun looked even more baffled by the explanation but let it rest. “Well, I’ll go get you a
glass of warm water,” she said sympathetically. She then left the room, leaving the door open.
Tiffany sighed and closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the apartment filter into her
room. She listened to Seohyun pull out a glass with a few clinks, followed by the cabinet door
noisily closing.  She was soon lulled into a semi-doze when the loud sound of the front door opening
and closing shook her awake. Tiffany heard Jessica breath out a loud sigh and she strained her ears,
tracking the sound of footsteps. She held her breath in anticipation as the footsteps grew louder,
but they abruptly disappeared as Jessica entered her room and closed the door.
The sound of the shutting door reverberated through Tiffany’s entire body.  It was then that
she finally gave up.  With a muffled shriek, she pounded both her fists into the mattress in
frustration.  When she was done with the tantrum, she was surprised to feel moisture on her cheeks.
Unable to stop the flow of tears, she bit back the urge to shout and curse. Seohyun soon returned
and was completely flabbergasted to see her unnie with her face buried in her hands, quietly
sobbing.
The younger girl put down the glass of water and quickly came over, trying to comfort and
calm her. Unfortunately, Seohyun’s attentions had the complete opposite effect. All it did was
remind Tiffany that while Taeyeon, Sunny, and Seohyun had all been concerned for her, the one
person who’s concern mattered the most to her was conspicuously absent.
With a moan of dismay, she realized that she loved Jessica Jung.
CHAPTER 15:   THE LADY IS A TRAMP  
Tiffany muttered to herself as she slammed the refrigerator door shut and marched into the
living room.
“Who ate my cheese?” she demanded in a cranky voice, leveling a flinty gaze at SooYoung.
“Don’t look at me,” she protested, raising both of her hands. “I hate that stuff!”
Tiffany narrowed her eyes, trying to find fault in the statement. When nothing came up, she
turned around and resumed muttering to herself.  She had been in an extremely surly mood the
entire morning.  The others had quickly picked up on that and each girl, at one point or another,
tried to talk to her. Unfortunately, Tiffany was ready to bite the head off of anyone near her, raining
insults and spittle in every direction. By lunchtime, they all promptly gave her wide berth every
time she entered a room.
The only girl that Tiffany had not talked to was Jessica.  Tiffany did not know if her
girlfriend had noticed her behavior because she had made a special point to avoid Jessica as much
as possible. It was actually not a very difficult feat, given that the girl had not even been around
since breakfast.  That fact, ironically, seemed to make Tiffany even more irritable.
Unable to find anything or anyone else to yell at, she went back to her room in hopes to
unhappily sulk for the next few minutes before she had to start getting ready to leave for her Oppa
Nappa performance.  Violently opening the door, she stormed into her room and flopped backwards
onto her bed.
“Unnie?” came a timid voice.
Tiffany turned her head and found Seohyun on her bed, looking at Tiffany with a slightly
fearful expression.
“Are you okay?” she asked hesitantly.
Tiffany sighed and tried calming herself. She was not in so bad of a mood that she was going
to try and make the maknae cry.  “I’m fine Seohyunie, just a bad day is all.” She then noticed the
textbook sitting in Seohyun’s lap.  “Studying hard?” she asked, trying to be somewhat pleasant.
Seohyun nodded.
“You’re a smart girl Seohyun, but you know what? There’s one thing they never teach you at
school.”
“What’s that?” Seohyun asked curiously.
Tiffany sat up and continued, “Love.  Never fall in love. It’s bad news, it never works, and in
the end, she’ll just break your heart.”
Seohyun looked at her oddly before giggling. “She?”
“Well, you know what I mean,” Tiffany said with a blush. “Besides…it’s not like it doesn’t
happen…”
Seohyun stopped laughing and frowned, “Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s okay,
unnie.”
Tiffany stared at Seohyun then collapsed back on her bed again, groaning.  “Seohyun-ah,”
she weakly called out, “why don’t you go to the bathroom and get ready?  I’ll go after you.”
The younger girl nodded and left while Tiffany remained on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
When she was unable to lie there any longer, she decided that it would be more productive to stuff
her face full of chips until Seohyun was finished with the bathroom.
When she made it back into the kitchen, she began rummaging through the cupboards,
looking for the opened bag of chips. She was so preoccupied in her quest for salty food that she
failed to hear the front door open and close.
“Hey.”
She stiffened at the sound of Jessica’s voice.   
The Lady Is a Tramp
115 | P a g e
“Where were you?” Tiffany responded curtly as she continued to look for the chips.
She suddenly felt Jessica’s warm and inviting arms wrap around her waist and a soft body
press closely against her back. Tiffany unconsciously leaned backwards to deepen contact.
“Just getting some stuff done.”
Tiffany immediately straightened up and broke the contact. “Well, you better go change, we
have to get ready,” she said brusquely. She stepped around Jessica and quickly walked back to her
room to change.
“Oh…okay,” Jessica said, confused by her abruptness.
Tiffany managed to avoid Jessica by locking herself in the bathroom, patiently waiting until
one of their managers came to pick the three of them up.  When Jooyoung finally rang their doorbell,
she burst out of the bathroom and opened the door for her startled manager.  Once they all began
walking to the car, she stayed close to chat with him, but because she was busy talking with her
manager, she did not pay attention and ended up entering the backseat of the car first. She only
realized her error when she sat down and saw Jessica climb in to sit next to her.
Jessica smiled and affectionately placed a hand on her thigh.  Tiffany immediately felt her
anger falter, and the instant she looked at Jessica’s eyes, the rest of her resolve nearly melted away
as well. Instead of a cold response, she was seized with the desperate need to kiss Jessica, claiming
her right on the spot so that no other person could ever have her.  Frankly, she was a bit disturbed
by her own possessiveness.  She weakly smiled at Jessica and, in a desperate attempt to distract
herself, shoved in her ear buds and cranked up the volume on her music player to an even higher
volume than normal.
Tiffany silently cursed at her weakness. Obviously her avoidance strategy was not going to
work anymore, but she needed to do something.  For a while, she toyed with the subtle approach,
planning out all sorts of cold looks and stares to silently voice her displeasure. But in the end, she
realized that none of it would work based on the simple fact that every time she saw that damn
adorable face, she lost all her anger and just wanted to cuddle.  It was distinctly unfair.
As she thought over the unjustness of it all, her anger began to rise.  Tiffany knew not to
jump to conclusions, but it was an undeniable fact that Jessica had been sneaking off to meet up
with Anna, going to great lengths to make sure nobody knew about it.  She did not know if the two
were doing that kind of stuff, it just did not make any sense and the thought gave her the heebie
jeebies.  But it still tore at her insides to see Jessica coming back from those secretive meetings with
a bright, almost invigorated smile.  It hurt her almost as much as the fact that she was being ignored
and purposely left in the dark.
Tiffany looked out the window of the car, making sure her eyes did not accidentally fall on
Jessica’s; else she’d lose all the momentum her anger had built.  That, and the fact that she needed
to distract herself from the fact that Jessica’s hand still remained on her leg.
When they arrived at the exhibit hall for recording, Tiffany finally decided to take a page out
of the ice princess’ own playbook. She simply closed her eyes to feign sleepiness while they were
waiting for their turn in rehearsals. She continued the act after their practice, only “waking up”
when it was time for them to put on their outfits and make up. Afterwards, she spent most of her
time either going to the bathroom or trying to help Seohyun with her English homework. Had it not
been for the maknae’s adamant refusal, Tiffany would have done the entire workbook herself.
Just before they were to go out and wait by the stage, Jooyoung came up to them.  Tiffany
looked over and started when she saw Anna next to him.
“Hey girls,” their manager said, “I need to head back to the company to get some things done,
so Anna’s going to cover for me. She’ll take you guys home, alright?”
Tiffany surreptitiously glanced at Jessica, noticing that she was staring at Anna with a
suppressed look of excitement on her face. Anna made eye contact with her and nodded in
acknowledgement. Tiffany quickly looked away, fighting the urge to throw up.
The Lady Is a Tramp
116 | P a g e
The call then came for the three girls to head out. Tiffany straightened her back and took a
deep breath, steeling her resolve. She had to perform well, no matter how crummy she felt. She
strained with all her might to focus, burying her feelings away.  It was too dangerous for her to try
and use her current emotions to sing. The song and her melancholia matched too well, and if she let
go while singing, she was bound to cry on stage.  As they made their way out on to the wings,
Tiffany forced a smile in the event any eyes or fancams happened to be looking her way.  
“Come on guys,” Jessica called out to her and Seohyun. “Let’s get together.”
The three girls huddled together to begin a tradition as old as their group. Tiffany gritted
her teeth as she put her hand into the center, feeling Jessica’s warm hand on top of hers as well as
the girl’s free arm around her waist.
“It’s now,” Jessica started.
“Girls’ Generation!” Tiffany shouted with false enthusiasm, joining her voice with Seohyun
and Jessica’s.
It was not as bad as she thought it was going to be during the performance. Singing had
always been an escape for her, and even with Jessica’s voice sounding in her earpiece, she was able
to play her role, delivering sad and wistful smiles to the cameras. That was what made great idols.
The ability to do what people expected of you, even if you just wanted to flip off the entire audience
with both middle fingers, spit in their general direction, and then walk off.
As she left the stage, Jessica quickly caught up with her and touched her arm. At that touch,
reality crashed down on Tiffany and she numbly nodded her head, pretending to listen to whatever
it was Jessica whispering. Even worse was the fact that she had to smile, as the audience could still
see them walking off.
Once back in their dressing rooms, Tiffany quickly went over to the table to take a deep sip
out of her water bottle.  When she brought the bottle down, she spotted Jessica over at the corner,
talking to Anna in hushed whipsers. Anna was facing her direction while Jessica’s back was to her.
The pseudo-manager’s eyes briefly met Tiffany’s and the older woman gave a miniscule smirk
before turning her attention back on Jessica.
That did it. Tiffany felt the rage suddenly boil within her. Why was that tramp spending
more time with Jessica than her?! Tiffany hotly walked over to the furthest part of the dressing
room and sat down, turning her back to Jessica. She stewed like that for several minutes before
Jessica, with the worst possible timing imaginable, decided to approach Tiffany. With a smile on her
face, she lowered her head until it was level with Tiffany’s.
“Hey,” Jessica said cheerfully.
Tiffany silently gave a dirty look.
Jessica frowned, as if noticing Tiffany’s mood for the first time. Sitting down next to her, she
asked in a concerned voice, “Are you okay?”
Jessica’s sudden concern only annoyed Tiffany more.  “I’m fine,” she said shortly.
“It doesn’t look like that to me.”
“Gee, nothing gets by you, huh, Jess?” Tiffany retorted in a snippy tone.
Jessica pulled back in shock. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her voice rising.
Tiffany glared. “Exactly what you think it does.” She then stood up and walked towards the
door.  If Jessica was so fickle with her attention, then she could be equally as negligent.
She stepped out into the busy hallway, carefully avoiding the numerous staff and idols
moving about. A few feet down the hall, she spotted both members of Davichi chatting with a group
of people.  Tiffany critically looked at the youngest member of the duo, Kang Minkyung. She was a
cute girl with beautiful eyes and soft, wavy hair. The young girl had an incredible voice that was
possibly huskier than her own.  She practically oozed coolness and maturity when she sang.  Here
was someone that would definitely make Jessica jealous.
Tiffany nervously approached the group, her legs trembling with every step.   
The Lady Is a Tramp
117 | P a g e
“You can do this, Stephanie, come on,” she thought. “Just go up to her, say hi, talk about her
clothes, brush her arm, talk about the weather, touch your neck, talk about her performance, and then
touch her chest…yeah…no problem.”
By the time she made it halfway over, she thought her heart was going to leap out of her
chest.
“Ow! My foot!”
Tiffany jumped in surprise. In her single-minded determination to seduce the unsuspecting
singer, she had accidentally smashed one of her heels on an innocent bystander. Putting her hand
on her chest to calm her nerves, she turned and found Kim Hyunjoong limping in pain.
“Oh! Oppa! I’m so sorry!” Tiffany apologized, half in sincerity, half in relief from having her
attempt at seduction interrupted.  “Are you okay?”
The leader from SS501 tested out his foot, gently putting pressure on it. “Yeah, I’m good,”
he said. Looking at Tiffany’s heels he continued, “Those are some crazy weapons you got on.”
Tiffany smiled, “Not weapons, Oppa, necessity. I need my heels like I need water.”
HyunJoong laughed. “Good thing there aren’t any fans back here. I don’t think the double S
fanboards could handle all the traffic your antis would bring.”
Tiffany laughed and then, out of the corner of her eye, caught Jessica slowly approaching her
with an extremely displeased frown on her face.
Tiffany smiled at what she saw.
She then laughed a bit louder and affectionately touched HyunJoong on the arm. “You’re so
funny, Oppa. I need to go now, but sorry again. It was nice seeing you.” She made sure she spoke
the last sentence loudly.
Tiffany then waved goodbye and walked towards Jessica. Once HyunJoong had turned
around, Jessica quickly walked up to Tiffany, her face a mixture of anger and hurt, making Tiffany
feel somewhat guilty.
“What the hell was that?” Jessica demanded in a harsh whisper, grabbing at Tiffany’s elbow.
Tiffany immediately went on the defensive. “What?” she retorted, jerking her arm away
from Jessica. “It’s not like you care.”
Jessica looked at Tiffany incredulously before narrowing her eyes. “Fine,” she said in a
frosty tone, “I see how it is now.” She then stiffly walked back to the dressing room, leaving Tiffany
in the hallway.
The feeling of guilt threatened to overwhelm Tiffany before she snapped to her senses. How
dare Jessica make her out to be the bad guy! Unbelievable!  She was the one being wronged!
Wasn’t she?  Tiffany huffed loudly before walking back into the dressing room.
The drive back was awkwardly silent as Seohyun sat between the two feuding girls. The
maknae alternated worried looks between her left and right, afraid to say anything about the
obvious tension she felt radiating from her two unnies.  Anna, meanwhile, did not seem to notice
anything and occasionally filled the silence with her critique of the girls’ performance, to which only
Seohyun obediently replied to.
The stony silence remained even back at the apartment. The other girls waited for them to
return so that they all could eat dinner together.  Tiffany preferred to go straight to her room, but
the rumbling in her stomach told her otherwise. Jessica seemed to have the same thought as she
took a few steps towards her room but then altered them towards the table.  Tiffany followed,
making sure she chose the furthest possible seat from Jessica.  The action did not go unnoticed by
Yuri and Taeyeon as both girl exchanged surprised looks.
“So, um, how was your first performance, guys?” Taeyeon asked.
“Ah! I was so nervous!” Seohyun said with a sigh. “I felt as stiff as a tree!”
“I’m sure you did fine,” Yoona replied, stroking Seohyun’s hair affectionately. She then
pouted, “Too bad I didn’t get to see you guys perform, I don’t think I’m going to have any other
chance once filming gets under full swing.”
The Lady Is a Tramp
118 | P a g e
“How ‘bout you, Fany?” Taeyeon asked.
Tiffany was in no mood to humor Taeyeon and instead, focused on pushing the food around
on her plate.
Taeyeon uncomfortably cleared her throat and asked again, in a louder voice. “Fany-ah?
How was it?”
Tiffany finally looked up and shrugged. “Whatever.  Could’ve been better, I guess.  I’m not
sure I cared too much for the opening.”
The other girls began giving each other confused looks.
With her head still down, Jessica then responded, “Yeah, not to mention you were flat, like,
every other line.”
The entire apartment became deathly silent.
Tiffany glared at Jessica. “I’m sorry, but your shrill voice just threw me off from the get-go.”
“What?!” Jessica threw her chopsticks on the plate with a loud clatter.
“Okay!” Taeyeon shouted. She looked at Seohyun and continued speaking in a loud voice.
“So Seohyun!  I bet it was pretty lonely on stage, huh?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” Seohyun answered tearing her fearful eyes away from Jessica. “The stage felt
so big without everyone there.”
Tiffany snorted. “Really? Jessica’s ego seemed to cover most of that emptiness pretty well.”
“Not as much as your fat ass in that shopping bag of a dress!” Jessica immediately shot back.
“Time for TV!” Taeyeon exclaimed.  She stood up and collected her plate.  “Let’s go watch
and eat!  I got some movies I wanna see!”
The rest of the girls quickly and quietly followed, all of them avoided looking Jessica and
Tiffany.
“Hey, you three must be pretty tired,” Yuri said to Jessica, Tiffany, and Seohyun. “You guys
should just eat up and then go wind down, okay?”
Seohyun nodded and stood up to go to her room. Before she got further than two steps,
Yuri grabbed her by the arm and led her into the living room to join the others. Seohyun did not
utter a single word of protest at Yuri’s contradicting action.
Jessica remained at the table quietly eating her food.  Tiffany tried to match Jessica’s finely
honed passive aggressiveness, but after a few seconds could not stand eating at the same table with
her. She gave a sigh of disgust, tossing a glare at the calmly eating girl, before she pushed away her
plate and left for her room.
Tiffany slammed her door shut and heavily sat herself down on the bed with her arms
crossed, scowling at the empty air in front of her.  Her sulking lasted for only a few minutes as loud
scuffling noises suddenly came from the other side of her door. She then heard Jessica’s voice shout
in protest before the sound of her bedroom door banged shut.  Seconds later, a knock came at the
door and Taeyeon stepped through.
“What do you want?” Tiffany asked testily.
“I just wanted to see how you are,” Taeyeon said, casually walking over to Tiffany. “But I
can tell you’re not going to say anything, huh?”
“Amazing, you should be a profiler."
Taeyeon raised both of her hands in defense. “Okay, okay, no need to get catty now.”
“Catty?” Tiffany looked at Taeyeon with a glare.
“Bad choice of words.” Taeyeon apologized and sat next to Tiffany. She then hesitated
before continuing, “But, don’t you think you should talk to Sica about all this?”
Tiffany scowled. “Why should I? Besides, she’s busy happily stuffing that fat face of hers.”
“Actually, she’s back in her room now.”
“So?”
Taeyeon stared at Tiffany, her jawing clenching and unclenching in annoyance. “So now’s
the perfect chance to talk to her. Everyone else is watching TV.”  
The Lady Is a Tramp
119 | P a g e
“Like I said, I have nothing to say to you or that spoiled princess.”  Tiffany then looked at
Taeyeon critically, finally noticing Taeyeon’s face flush with anger. “And what are you so pissy
about, huh?”
Taeyeon looked at her incredulously before standing up. “Okay! That does it!” she shouted.
“I wanted to be nice about it, but it looks like Yuri was right! You’re coming with me!”
Taeyeon firmly grabbed Tiffany by the ear and lead her out the room.
“Owowowowow! Taeyeon! Let go!” Tiffany shouted in pain. Once outside, she found Yuri
standing by Jessica’s door, holding the door shut. A loud banging could be heard on the other side.
“Yuri!” Jessica’s voice shouted from the other side. “Open up! I swear I’m going to get really
mad!”
Yuri turned her head to look at Taeyeon and both girls nodded their heads in
acknowledgement. Yuri then took a deep breath and quickly opened the door, revealing Jessica on
the other side.
“Finally—”
Jessica’s words were cut shut as Taeyeon flung Tiffany straight into her. Both girls collided
and tumbled on the floor.  Tiffany quickly got up, ignoring the soft parts of Jessica’s body that her
hand had pressed as she stood, and ran over to the door just as it slammed shut. She tried to open
the door, but while the knob turned, the door would not even budge.
“Taeyeon! Yuri! Open up!” She banged on the door loudly.
“Don’t bother,” Jessica said sullenly, picking herself up from the floor. She went over and sat
down on her bed, her back towards Tiffany.
Tiffany stopped banging and sighed. Holding a hand up to her aching ear, she turned
around and shot a glare at Jessica’s back.
“This is all your fault!” she blamed.
“Me?!” Jessica turned around and looked at Tiffany incredulously. “You were the one with
the attitude problem since the performance!”
“Did you stop to think about why I was acting like that!?”
Jessica threw her hands in the air. “I have no idea! I’ve been trying to figure out why you
decided to go around and whore yourself out to any idol walking by our dressing room!”
“Whore!?” Tiffany shrieked.
“Well what in the world would you call it?” Jessica then clasped her hands together and her
face took on a dreamy expression. “Oh, oppa!” she said in a squeaky voice. “You’re so funny! I’m so
glad to see you!” Her face and voice reverted back. “You might as well wear a sign that says ‘easy’!”
Tiffany’s mouth dropped open in shock. “You’ve got some nerve, you know that!?” she
spluttered. “What the hell do you think you’ve been doing, huh? I know all about your little secret
get-togethers with Anna!”
Jessica jolted backwards as if she had been hit.
“You’ve been tiptoeing around the past few days to meet with her,” Tiffany pressed on.  She
began stumbling over her words, interchanging Korean words with English ones as her anger
mounted.  “How do you think I feel?! God, I hate you so much! I hate that every time you touch me,
you’ve been touching her with those hands! I just want to throw up!”
“Tiff,” Jessica began.
“And I hate even more that I still want you to touch me!” Tiffany shouted, now speaking
completely in English. “But what I hate the most is the fact that I LOVE YOU!”
Jessica stood stunned, staring at Tiffany with wide eyes. “You…love me?” she asked softly in
English.
“That doesn’t mean I want to be around a cheating skank who toys with other people’s
emotions!”
Jessica’s eyes immediately hardened. “Toying? NOW look who’s talking!” she spat out. “Do
you know how much I have to put up with?  How you’re always so chummy with all the guys! Not
The Lady Is a Tramp
120 | P a g e
only do I have to be nervous around the other girls that you hug, I have to worry about all the guys
that you smile and laugh for!”
This time, it was Tiffany’s turn to be startled.
“I see the looks the guys give you. And you know what? They only do that because you let
them! You’re so friendly and touchy with them that they all think they got a chance with you! Like
at the Sunkist filming!” Jessica clenched her fists as she recalled the event. “I wanted to strangle
Siwon after your little grapefruit playtime with him! How do you think I felt when you were fooling
around with him like that! And it’s not only him!  I could name a billion other guys that I just want
to kick in the nuts because of you!”
Tiffany tried to hide her shocked look with any angry expression, but she knew she was
failing.
“And you want to know what I was doing with Anna?! You really wanna know?”  Jessica
marched over to her dresser and grabbed her bag. Rifling through the contents, she pulled out a
small object and tossed it at Tiffany.
Tiffany instinctively shielded herself and the projectile hit her hands before falling to the
floor.  She looked down and found a tiny velvet box sitting by her feet. A horrible feeling began to
grow at the pit of her stomach. She slowly knelt down and picked up the object. Still crouched, she
opened the box and found two silver rings tucked snugly inside. Tiffany dropped the jewelry box as
if it were on fire and quickly stood up.  Turning around, she rushed to the door and began violently
pulling at it, frantically trying to get it open.  When the door still would not yield, she buried herself
in the nearby corner of the room, her face burning in shame and humiliation.
“Where did you think you were trying to go, huh?” Jessica said disdainfully. “Were you
going to run off so that I could realize how wrong I was and then run around looking for you?”
Tiffany remained silent.
“And then after countless hours of searching, I’d suddenly remember something you said
and then I would find you either on the roof or on the swing at some nearby park? And then I’d
apolo—”
“I’m sorry, okay!” Tiffany wailed as tears began to spill down her face. “It’s just that you
were acting all strange for a while! Half the time, you were acting like you weren’t interested in me!
I started to think that you thought that I didn’t care about you anymore so you were just shielding
yourself from me again. And then yesterday, I saw you in the parking lot of the café, meeting up
with Anna…and then I saw the phone calls that you were trying to hide…” Tiffany trailed off and sat
down on the floor, hugging her knees.
Jessica gave one last glare and turned her back. Tiffany did not say anything and remained
on the floor, trying to wipe the tears from her face.  Finally, Jessica let out a soft sigh and walked
over to Tiffany, joining her on the floor.  She wrapped her arm around Tiffany and pulled her in
close.
“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” she whispered, kissing the top of Tiffany’s head. “I’m really sorry,
this was my fault too.  I just didn’t want you to feel like I was suffocating you by being so clingy, you
know? That and I didn’t want you thinking I was a total horn dog.”
Tiffany let out a small laugh as she deepened the contact and buried herself in Jessica’s
embrace.  “Too late,” she muttered, burying her face into the crook of Jessica’s neck.
“I didn’t want to scare you away, Fany,” Jessica said, stroking her hair. “I figured I could
charm the pants off of you if I could show you in a non-physical way how much you meant to me.”
“I don’t mind a little physicality,” Tiffany responded shyly.
Jessica flashed a grin. “Duly noted. But yeah, so I was scratching my head for a few days,
trying to figure out what to get you, when I finally figured couple rings would be perfect. I didn’t
want cheap teen jewelry store rings either, I wanted the real deal. I always see Anna wearing
expensive jewelry, so I figured that she would know where to buy that kind of stuff.”
The Lady Is a Tramp
121 | P a g e
Tiffany pulled away and looked at Jessica. “So you were willing to talk to Anna just to find
some rings?”
“Of course,” Jessica protested. “I’d be willing to do even worse things for you!”
“Even eat a cucumber?”
“Don’t push it.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyhow,” Jessica continued. “I was pretty surprised when Anna said she could help me out.
Though she did threaten to report me if I was ‘getting it for some gigolo’.”
“So what did you tell her then?”
“Simple, I told her I wanted to get a pair of rings from my mom and myself. That seemed to
shut her up and she gave me a list of stores that she liked to shop at. She even said she would drive
me there. I think she offered because she wanted to look like a good manager and she was probably
already going to go, so it was no loss to her.” Jessica then reached down and picked up the opened
box. “I stole one of your rings to get it sized and they called me today to say that it was ready. Anna
was going to pick it up with one of her orders and give it to me the next time she saw me. That’s
why I was pretty excited when I saw her after the performance, she had the ring with her and I was
ready to give it to you tonight.”
Jessica held the box in front of Tiffany so that she could see the delicate silver bands.  “I
guess we both need to work on our trust issues, huh?”
Tiffany’s shame, however, resurfaced and she turned away, refusing to look at the rings she
felt completely unworthy to be near.
“C’mon,” Jessica cajoled, nudging Tiffany’s head with her own. “I spent so much time
looking for the perfect ones. And then the jeweler was a real jerk and tried to rip me off, but I was
able to haggle down and got an awesome deal—”
“Yah! Don’t tell me how cheap it was!” Tiffany shouted, looking at Jessica with an appalled
face. “You should have paid full price!”
“But I saved—”
Tiffany pressed a finger over Jessica’s lips, silencing her. “You paid full price, right?” she
repeated.
Jessica smiled. “Does that mean you’ll wear it?”
Tiffany shyly nodded.
“I want you to also think of this as a promise ring, okay?” Jessica said as she took out one of
the rings. “It’s my promise to you that I’ll always be there for you and, in light of everything that’s
happened today, a promise that I’ll—that we’ll be more honest with each other.” She put the ring on
her palm and brought it to Tiffany’s face. “And on the inside is a promise of what you’ll always
mean to me.”
Tiffany peered at inside of the ring and found an inscription written in a flowing English
script that read, “You are the Only One for Me”.
Tiffany felt her heart leap and she smiled before giving Jessica a tender kiss. Jessica quickly
leaned in to claim another kiss before taking Tiffany’s left hand and placing the ring on her ring
finger.
Tiffany laughed. “Hey babo, you know what it means when you put it on this hand, right?”
“Of course I do,” Jessica replied with a smug smile. Tiffany blushed.  Looking around, Jessica
frowned, “Why don’t we get off the floor now? It makes everything seem somewhat less romantic
and more unhygienic.”
The two girls helped each other up and sat down on the side of Jessica’s bed, content in the
silence that followed.  After a few minutes of gazing at each other, Jessica spoke out.
“Hey, Tiff,” she asked hesitantly. “Did you…mean what you said earlier?”
“What was that?” Tiffany answered dumbly.
Jessica gave Tiffany a look. “I thought we were going to be honest with each other now?”
The Lady Is a Tramp
122 | P a g e
“No, you promised that, I said nothing,” Tiffany answered.
Jessica rolled her eyes and smiled. “You know…that you…you…love me?” her voice trailed
off uncertainly.
Tiffany let her hair fall in front of her face. “Y-yeah,” she answered haltingly.
Jessica did not answer, instead she held her breath and looked at Tiffany expectantly,
hopefully.
Tiffany saw the look and knew what it meant. She swallowed hard and took a shaky breath.
“Yeah…I love you.”
Jessica’s face erupted in a bright smile and her watery eyes shined. She tightly hugged
Tiffany. The two girls remained in that position for some time.

“I think they made up,” Taeyeon whispered. “I don’t hear anything.”
“Maybe they killed each other,” Yuri replied.
Taeyeon turned around and glared. She then paused. “Actually, you might be right. I’m
gonna check up on them.” She untied the long piece of twine that secured the doorknob of Hyoyeon
and Jessica’s room to the knob of Tiffany and Seohyun’s room on the opposite side of the hall,
preventing either door from being opened.
“Wait a sec,” Yuri quickly whispered. “What if they’re in the middle of making up?” she
suggested with a blush.
Taeyeon’s eyes widened as she realized what Yuri meant. “Ugh, seeing them go at it once
was bad enough,” she said in disgust.
“Oh come on, you’re exaggerating.”
“I pray that you’ll never know,” she said solemnly. Standing up, she let out a tiny laugh. “I
can’t believe Fany thought Sica was fooling around with Anna though.”
“I know,” Yuri said, sticking out her tongue in distaste.
Taeyeon stretched herself out.  “Ahhh well, it’s all done with now.  I’m so glad Sica got over
being stupid.”
“Yeah,” Yuri replied, standing up. “Wait a sec, what do you mean, ‘Sica’? Fany was the one
being all judgmental.”
“As if! If Sica didn’t go crazy and ignore Fany’s feelings, none of this would have happened!”
Yuri narrowed her eyes. “Not unless you mean Sica finally went crazy dealing with ddilFany
and her lack of sense, right?”
Taeyeon stiffened. “What did you say?” she asked threateningly.
“I said it looks like Sica got the raw end of the deal!”
“Please!  Fany is pure sweetness! If anything, Sica is polluting her!”
Yuri stared at Taeyeon, opening and closing her mouth several times. “You’re hopeless,” she
said exasperatedly before turning around and leaving.
“Hey! Don’t you dare walk away from me as if you’re right!” Taeyeon said. “Come back this
instant!”
Moments later, Yoona stepped into the hallway, trying to figure out what all the commotion
was about. She stopped short when she saw the long strand of twine that was sealing the two doors
shut. Walking over, she tentatively plucked at the string.
“This was the ‘awesome’ plan they were talking about?” she muttered in puzzlement.
Shaking her head in disbelief, she pressed her ear against the door to her room. There were
no discernable sounds coming from the other side, so she could only assume that her unnies had
patched up their differences. The two probably just had a silly little misunderstanding, she
reasoned as she untied the twine from the doorknob. Though, she had to admit that she had never
seen Jessica unnie so angry in quite some time.
The Lady Is a Tramp
123 | P a g e
With that thought, Yoona opened the door. Immediately, she heard scuffling followed by a
loud thump.  Alarmed, she quickly stepped into the room.
“Oh my god, unnie! Don’t beat her!” she shouted in dismay. Inside, she found Tiffany unnie
sprawled out on the floor while Jessica unnie towered over her, slightly out of breath.  Yoona ran
over to try and restrain Jessica.
Jessica looked at Yoona, startled. “Huh? What in the world are you talking about?”
“I know you’re mad unnie, but think about it calmly!  I don’t want to call the police!” Yoona
continued, pulling Jessica away from Tiffany.
“It’s okay, Yoona,” Tiffany said, standing up. “I just got surprised when you opened the door,
that’s all.”
Yoona paused and looked at Jessica suspiciously before going over to Tiffany to check for
any signs of damage.
“Okay,” she said, somewhat satisfied after inspection. “So I take it you two made up?”
“Yeah,” Tiffany replied with a smile. “It’s all good now.”
“Thank god,” Yoona said with a sigh of relief. “Do you want to watch TV with the rest of us
now?”
“That’s okay,” Tiffany said. “Your unnies are going to talk for a bit.”
Yoona nodded in understanding and quietly left.  As soon as the door closed, Jessica
stormed over to her bed, sitting down in a huff.
“Jess?” Tiffany asked, confused at Jessica’s sudden change in mood.
“I can’t believe she thought I was some sort of wife beater,” Jessica muttered.
Tiffany laughed and sat down next to her. “So you’re admitting that I’m the wife, then?”
Jessica glared. “You think this is all so funny, don’t you?”
“Mildly, yes.”
“We’ll see how funny you think it is the next time you get charged with domestic abuse.”
“My poor baby,” Tiffany said, sympathetically hugging Jessica. “It was your fault for
throwing me on the floor though.”
Jessica looked at Tiffany apologetically. “Sorry, I just panicked when I heard the door open.”
“It’s not like we were doing anything you know? We were just holding each other.”
“You sound disappointed,” Jessica said slyly.
“Well you did promise that you were going to charm the pants off of me,” Tiffany said in a
lofty tone.
“That’s what the rings were for.”
“Given the circumstances, I was more touched than charmed, so you still owe me.”
Jessica pulled Tiffany up onto her lap and leaned in to kiss her. “Well then, let me remedy
that.”
“Jess,” Tiffany breathed between kisses, “I don’t think this is considered charming.”
“Are you complaining?”
“No, not really, just observing.”
“Then observe silently.”
Before things could go any further, Hyoyeon’s voice could be heard from the other side,
giving them half a second warning before the door opened.  Jessica immediately stood up,
depositing Tiffany onto the floor for a second time.
“Hey guys, Yoona said you two made—” Hyoyeon stopped in mid-sentence and looked at
the pair with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s not what you think,” Jessica quickly said.
“It is,” Tiffany complained as she stood up, rubbing her bottom.  “She hit me.”
Jessica shot a glare at Tiffany before quickly asking, “What’s going on?”  
The Lady Is a Tramp
124 | P a g e
“We just wanted to let you know that we’re going to have some ice cream now, so if you
guys want some before it’s all gone, you better come out.” Hyoyeon took one more confused look at
the two and left.
Tiffany stood up and glared at Jessica. “Did you have to throw me that time?”
“Oh stop exaggerating,” Jessica said dismissively. “I merely dropped you.”
“Somehow, that doesn’t make me feel better.”
Jessica smiled and took Tiffany’s outstretched arm, helping her up.
“We’re never going to get any peace and quiet, huh?” Tiffany sighed dramatically.
Jessica’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Actually,” she began. “I think I have an idea.”
“Nothing perverted I hope.”
Jessica stuck out her tongue. “It wasn’t going to be, but now that you mention it, I’m sure we
can work something out,” she said.  She then gave Tiffany a serious look. “Come back home with
me.”
Tiffany looked at Jessica with wide eyes. “Are you serious?!”
“Why not?” Jessica cajoled.  “I’m going home Tuesday and Wednesday night, it’ll be perfect!”
“I dunno.”
“Please?” Jessica begged. She pushed out her lower lip and looked up from under her
eyelashes.
“That’s a dirty, rotten trick, you learned,” Tiffany said, frowning.
“I learned from the best,” Jessica replied smugly. “So is that a yes?”
Tiffany laughed and leaned in to kiss Jessica. “Yes, you she-devil.”
The door suddenly opened for a third time.
“Hey Jessica, here’s your headband I bor—AH!”
Sunny dropped the accessory she had been holding and paled when she saw the two girls in
mid-kiss. Jessica and Tiffany quickly pulled apart guiltily.
“Wh-wh-wh,” Sunny’s eyes were bulging as she tried to form the words in her mouth.
“What the hell were you two doing!?”
Sunny saw Jessica take a step towards her and she immediately spun around to run away.
Jessica was quicker though, and managed to wrap her arms around Sunny’s upper body.  However,
she made the mistake of placing her arm near Sunny’s mouth, and in desperation, the tiny girl bit it
like a wild animal. Jessica yelped in pain, releasing her arms as the bunny shot away.  Sunny made
it one step out into the hallway before Tiffany dived and tackled her at the knees, bringing both
herself and Sunny to the floor. Tiffany then quickly stood up and dragged her back into the room
while Jessica checked the hallway, making sure none of the others girls heard any of the commotion
above the loud movie that was playing on the television.
She closed the door and turned around to find Tiffany expertly holding Sunny’s hands
behind her back, pinning the girl to the floor with her knees. As inappropriate as it was, Jessica was
extremely aroused.
“Oh my god, oh my god,” Sunny began hyperventilating from beneath Tiffany. “Help! He—!”
Tiffany smothered Sunny’s mouth with her hand, making sure Sunny would not try to bite
again.
Jessica walked up to Sunny and crouched down, meeting her eyes. “Sunny,” she began
calmly. “We’re not going to hurt you or anything, but you have to promise not to shout or run away
when Tiffany lets you go, okay?”
Sunny nodded vigorously, her eyes still frantic.  Jessica signaled to Tiffany to let go and
Tiffany slowly removed her hand. When their captive made no noise or effort to break free, Tiffany
got up from on top of her.
Sunny slowly picked herself up, casting fearful glances between the two lovers.  She took a
long and calm breath before opening her mouth.
“Are you guys crazy!!!” she shouted, flailing her hands about.
The Lady Is a Tramp
125 | P a g e
“Shhh!” Jessica hushed. “Calm down, okay?”
“Calm down?!” Sunny continued in a hoarse whisper. “How in the world can I calm down!?
I just saw two of my best friends playing tonsil hockey!”
She began pacing the length of the room. “This is…this is just…oh man…I mean what the
hell, man?” Sunny then spun around and faced both girls. “What the hell!?!” she demanded.
“Hey, you wanna be civilized about this?” Jessica said hotly.
“Civilized? My head’s about to explode right now! What were you two doing?!”
Jessica was ready to lose her temper when Tiffany stepped in between them.
“Sunny,” she said seriously. “I love her, okay? It’s as simple as that.”
Sunny stared at Tiffany incredulously before turning her back and rubbing her forehead.
“Oh my gosh,” she muttered. “This is just too freakin’ weird.”
Tiffany frowned, “Sunny, these are our feelings you’re talking about.”
Sunny turned around with a guilty look on her face. “Look, I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh.
“But from my point of view, this is about as weird as weird can get. It’s almost up there with finding
out your boyfriend is actually your half-brother, okay?”
Jessica shrugged. “I’ll give you that much.”
Sunny’s face then took on a look that could only be described as anticipatory revulsion.
“Have you guys, um, ya know?” She made a vague gesture with her hands.
“What? No!” Tiffany protested. She then turned around to face Jessica. “Why is it that when
people find out you’re gay, they automatically think you just wanna have sex all the time?”
“Get used to it,” Jessica replied matter-of-factly. “I believe you did the same thing to me.”
Tiffany blushed and turned back to face Sunny.  “Anything else?” she asked.
“Wait!” Sunny exclaimed, bringing a hand to her mouth in shock. “So then…in the public
baths! And when we were changing!” She looked at Tiffany and Jessica fearfully. “Were
you…getting turned on?!”
“Ew, gross!  No!” Tiffany cried out. “You guys are like family! Besides, I never thought about
a girl that way until Jess.”
“Well…”
“What!?” Tiffany whirled around to face Jessica. “With who!?” she demanded.
Jessica gave an innocent smile and shrugged.
“Yuri?! It was Yuri wasn’t it!” Tiffany ran over and began violently swatting at Jessica. “You
jerk!”
Jessica tried to shield herself from Tiffany’s attacks.  “I was just kidding!” she said, bursting
with laughter.
Sunny looked on the scene with an odd expression.  Finally, a tiny smile cracked her lips and
she gave a disbelieving chuckle. “So you guys really are…a couple, huh?”
Tiffany and Jessica stopped their antics and looked at Sunny. Tiffany quickly hopped over
and held both of Sunny’s hands. “So you approve?” she asked.
Sunny raised an eyebrow. “Were you ever seeking my approval?”
Tiffany smiled and hugged Sunny tightly. After a few reassuring seconds, Sunny pulled back
and looked at Tiffany seriously. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure in my life.”
Sunny stared at Tiffany one more time before casting a worried look over to Jessica. Jessica
simply nodded in confirmation of Tiffany’s words. Sunny then broke contact and took a step back.
“Does anyone else know about…this?”
“Just Taeyeon and Yuri. So you can’t tell the others, promise?”
Sunny looked at the two girls doubtfully before sighing in resignation.
“Okay,” she said, “I’m not going to say anything.”
“Thanks,” Tiffany said gratefully.
The Lady Is a Tramp
126 | P a g e
“Don’t mention it,” Sunny replied, waving her hand. “Like seriously, don’t mention this to
me ever again.  I think I’m just going to go to my room and…lay down for a while now.”
Neither Tiffany nor Jessica protested as Sunny unsteadily left the room.
Outside, SooYoung walked by with a bowl of ice cream and a spoon in her mouth. “Hey
Sunny,” she called out. “Ice cream!”
Oblivious to SooYoung, Sunny shuffled by, mumbling to herself. “So wrong…so very, very
wrong…”
“Hey Sunny,” SooYoung repeated, touching the girl on the shoulder.
“I DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING!” Sunny shouted, jumping in surprise.
“Are you okay?” SooYoung asked, confused.
Sunny looked around with a bewildered expression, noticing where she was for the first
time. “Oh, y-yeah, fine,” she muttered.
“You want some ice cream?”
Sunny stared at SooYoung before weakly replying, “No, I don’t think my stomach can take it.”
“Oh, what about Jessica and Tiffany? Hyoyeon said they’re all good now.”
“No, no, they’re fine, I think they’ve had enough sugar for today,” Sunny said, quickly turning
Sooyoung around.
Once she made sure SooYoung returned to the living room to finish the movie, she wearily
went into her room. Upon opening the door, she surveyed the scene before her.
“Yah! Kwon Yuri! Why are you writing such a long list?”
CHAPTER 16:   ALL THROUGH THE NIGH T
“Yuri! Come on! Wake up!” Tiffany walked over and violently shook the girl lying on the
bed.
“Seohyun is going to be mad when she gets back from school and finds out her bed’s a mess!”
“Wha?”  Yuri sleepily sat up.
Tiffany sighed. “Come on! Just help me out here! Which top do you think Jess’ parents will
like me better in?”
Yuri squinted at the two identical looking white blouses. “How should I know?”
“Because you know her parents better than me!” Tiffany said, exasperated.
“Why don’t you just ask Sica?”
“Because, she’s just gonna say that they’ll like anything I wear.” Tiffany looked down and
muttered, “I don’t want her to think that I’m freaking out or anything.”
“But you are,” Yuri pointed out.
“That’s beside the point!”  She then shoved the blouses in front of Yuri. “Now tell me!
Which one?!”
Yuri sighed, “The one on the right.”
Tiffany turned the blouses around to re-examine them. “Really?” she asked chewing on her
lower lip. “I’m gonna go with the one of the left,” she said finally, turning and tossing the one Yuri
chose onto the bed.
“Ugh!” Yuri collapsed backwards onto Seohyun’s bed. “Why did you wake me up if you
didn’t need my opinion!”
“Just in case,” Tiffany said as she continued packing clothes into her bag.
Yuri sat up and glared. “Between you and Sica, I’m never going to get any sleep! And why
aren’t you bugging Taeyeon about this?!”
“I felt bad for her because of her busy schedule now. She needs all the rest she can get.”
“So what am I? Trash?”
Tiffany turned around and smile. “No, just jobless.”
Yuri immediately stood up. “Hey, I don’t have to take this kind of abuse!”
“Okay, okay,” Tiffany said laughing. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m pretty much done, so
thanks for your help.”
“Finally!” Yuri huffed. “You seriously owe me, Fany.”
“Write it down somewhere,” she replied, distracted. She had already turned around to
double check the contents of her overnight bag.
Yuri glared at Tiffany’s back. “You bet I will!”  She then left the room with every intent to
report her bad behavior to her girlfriend.
Jessica was up early as well, an event that happened maybe twice a year. Unlike Tiffany,
though, she was less nervous and more excited. Giddy may have been a better term.
At the moment, she was pacing the room while jotting notes into her planner, trying to
schedule out the entire two days and two nights that she and Tiffany would be spending at her
home.  It was frustrating as she had spent nearly four years planning for this very day, but there
were just things the two simply could not do due to their current fame. She finally settled on the
simpler, low profile activities like taking a walk around the immediate neighborhood, going grocery
shopping, and just spending time in her room talking.  She wanted her time with Tiffany to feel as if
there was nobody else in the world but the two of them.  There would be time in the future for more
hanky panky.
Jessica threw her planner onto her bed and started to pack.  There was no need to bring
much since she had plenty of clothes at home.  She picked up her pajamas and paused as she was
All Through the Night
128 | P a g e
suddenly reminded of the time when Tiffany shared a room with her due to the flooding.  She
smiled at the memory, and felt the temperature on her skin rise as she remembered the ill fitting
pajamas that Tiffany had worn. It seemed like ages ago when that all happened. She then
wondered if Tiffany would be sharing her room when they got to her house. It was most likely.
Even if her parents knew about the two of them, they definitely would not make Tiffany sleep in the
living room. Bunking with Krystal was also not an option, since her sister would then wonder why
Tiffany could not stay with her.
Jessica shuddered, just the idea of doing THAT under the same roof as her parents totally
creeped her out. No, Jessica thought with a smile, she was a good girl. Besides, she would rather
wait for her wedding night to make it that much more magical. Jessica blushed, thinking about
Tiffany in a white wedding gown. She frowned. But wouldn’t that mean she would have to wear
the suit? She violently shook her head. No, they could both wear dresses. But then two white
dresses might be a bit bland, she reasoned as she thought it over. Maybe she could wear the white
dress and Tiffany could wear a pink one. It would have to be a soft pink, of course, and strapless too.
That would perfectly offset her smooth, creamy shoulders…
Jessica brought her pajamas up to cover her face as she squealed in delight. She jumped
onto the bed and landed on her back, kicking her legs up into the air.  Without warning, the
bedroom door opened and Yuri walked through.
Jessica quickly bounced onto her feet and stretched down to touch her toes, as if she had
just completed an intricate calisthenics routine.
“What do you want?” she asked flatly as she straightened up, turning her back to hide her
red face.
“Nothing,” Yuri replied with a smug smile, her eyes twinkling with laughter.  “Absolutely
nothing.”
When Jessica felt her face had cooled down enough, she turned around to glare. “One of
these days, I’m going to get a lock on my door.”
Yuri laughed and jumped onto Jessica’s messy bed. “Oh? Are you and Fany taking it to the
next level then?”
Jessica’s face erupted into flames again and she violently threw the pajamas at Yuri.
Suddenly her cellphone on the dresser hummed to life with a familiar ringtone.
“Not again,” Jessica sighed. “I told her to stop doing this.”
“Who?” Yuri asked curiously.
Jessica looked away in embarrassment. “Tiffany,” she muttered.
At those words, Yuri sprung out the bed and snatched the phone away from Jessica.
“Hey baby,” Yuri said in a high pitched, syrupy voice as she read from Jessica’s cell phone.
“Almost done here, you?  Smiley!”
Yuri looked up in distaste. “That is absolutely disgusting.” She snapped the phone shut and
tossed it back to Jessica.
“Yeah, I told her to stop doing it,” Jessica said, clearing her throat in discomfort. She
reopened it and began to type a quick reply. “I hate it when my inbox gets all cluttered.”
“You know, for someone who hates these little texts so much, you sure reply rather quickly,”
Yuri said with a smirk. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy to hate something before.”
Jessica glared at Yuri. “Did you want something? Or did you come here just to get thrown
out the window?”
Yuri smiled, “No, I’m just so excited that the two of you are going to be gone for two whole
days.  Two whole days of not having to hear you or your couple’s drama. Two wondrous days of not
having to cover your asses.  I’m going to sleep so incredibly well.”
“Har, har,” Jessica laughed sarcastically. She walked over to her bed and zipped up her bag
before heading over to the door to open it. She then grandly waved her arm. “After you, please.”
All Through the Night
129 | P a g e
“Why thank you,” Yuri primly replied. She sauntered out of the room, while Jessica could
only roll her eyes.
When Jessica stepped out into the living room, she heard Tiffany’s door open. She turned
around to see the girl step out of her room, a large bag slung over her shoulders.   Tiffany caught
Jessica’s eyes and smiled shyly as she walked towards her.
“Ready?” Jessica asked with a soft smile.
Tiffany nodded nervously. “When is your mom coming to get us?”
“Maybe in thirty minutes or so,” she said, checking her watch. “C’mon, Hyoyeon made
breakfast.”
Jessica grabbed Tiffany’s hand to pull her into the kitchen. She could not resist, however to
lean in and give her a soft kiss. Tiffany closed her eyes in anticipation.
Yuri’s hand, however, wrapped around Jessica’s mouth and quickly pulled her back. Jessica
stumbled backwards and glared at her friend. Yuri coughed loudly.
“Well, I’m going to put your bags by the door,” she said in a booming voice. “You two should
just get something to eat and watch TV with everyone else in the living room.”
Jessica and Tiffany looked at Yuri with wide eyes and slowly turned to face the living room.
Sure enough, the other girls were sitting around in front of the television. All eyes, however, were
trained on the two of them in curiosity, the notable exception being Taeyeon, who was shaking her
head and had a hand to her forehead.
Sunny stood up and muttered, “I’m going to be in my room…I suddenly got a headache.”
“I should probably get going for school now, too,” Sooyoung also announced, standing up.
She then looked at Tiffany and sighed. “Aish, so lucky. How come Fany gets to go hang out and play
with Jessica? I wanna go too!”
“You have school and my parents haven’t seen Fany in a while, so they wanted to see her
again,” Jessica quickly explained.
Sooyoung walked by with a sour expression on her face. “I should speak English too! Then
your parents would want to see me,” she muttered.
Yuri swatted Sooyoung’s behind as she passed. “Then hurry to school and practice!”
“Yeah! Yeah!” Sooyoung said, dismissively waving her hands. She then started shouting in
English as she put on her shoes. “How are you? Nice to meet you? Can you help me? I like big,
handsome man!” Her voice could still be heard after she left the apartment.
Breakfast seemed to drag on interminably for Jessica. She was constantly checking her
watch, and trying to ignore the smirks and kissy-faces Yuri kept giving her. Finally, the doorbell
rang, prompting her to bolt down the hall, pushing Hyoyeon aside, as her roommate had already
gotten up to answer the door.
“Mommy!” Jessica shouted cheerfully as she opened the door. She did a double-take.
“Daddy? What are you doing here?  Don’t you have work?”
“He took the day off,” her mother explained. “You have no idea how excited he was to see
his little girl.”
“When did I ever say that?” her father protested, coughing in embarrassment. “I just
thought you might need help to load their stuff.”
“Of course,” Mrs. Jung said dryly, eyeing the two tiny bags sitting in the hallway.
Jessica nervously glanced at Tiffany.  Last night, they had decided to tell her parents about
their relationship. Tiffany had left it up to her to choose the best time to drop the bomb. Jessica had
been prepared to tell her mother as soon as they were alone in the car, but the presence of her
father had caught her off guard and suddenly made her even more nervous.
The other girls in the apartment all came up to greet her parents as they came into the living
room.  A few of them had been busy collecting the piles of clothes that lay strewn about the living
room.   
All Through the Night
130 | P a g e
Jessica’s mother smiled when Tiffany came up to give a nervous greeting. “Ready for a
vacation, Miyoung?” she asked.
Tiffany smiled. “Yes ma’am!”
“Alright then,” Mr. Jung said, grabbing both Tiffany and Jessica’s bag. “Why don’t we head
out?”
“Oh, let me walk you guys out,” Yuri said. “I’m going to the convenience store. Anyone
wanna come?”
“Yeah, I’ll go. Let me get my jacket,” Hyoyeon answered back.
Yuri looked over to Sunny. “Sunny?”
Sunny quickly shook her head. “Ugh, no. Though, I got some things I wanna buy. I’ll give
you a list and some money.”
“Fine, lazy,” Yuri said with a sigh. “What about you, Taengoo?”
“Can’t, have to get ready for a schedule,” Taeyeon said.
The adults and the four girls all piled out of the apartment.  When they reached the car,
Jessica suddenly stopped.
“Oh! I forgot my planner!  I’ll be right back!”  She turned around and sprinted back into the
apartment building.
Back in her room, she found the item lying on her bed where she last left it.  When she
grabbed it, a light knock came from her open door. She turned around and found Taeyeon leaning
against the doorframe, smiling.
“Another fight?” she asked humorously.
“No, wise guy,” Jessica said. “I just forgot my planner.”
“Well it wouldn’t have surprised me if it was a fight,” Taeyeon said as she entered the room.
“Just make sure you two stay out of trouble and try not to kill each other, okay?”
“Yes, umma.”
“I’m serious, aren’t new couples supposed to be all lovey-dovey for the first few weeks?”
Jessica looked at Taeyeon in surprise.
“H-how did you…?”
“Yah, are you stupid? You don’t think Fany would tell me?”
“When?” Jessica asked hesitantly.
“On your birthday.  The night before.”
“Oh.”
An awkward silence fell between the two girls.
“Well, I guess I’m glad you’re okay with everything,” Jessica said, clearing her throat
uncomfortably.
“I’ll tell you what I’m NOT okay with,” Taeyeon replied, her face visibly darkening. She then
pointed an accusatory finger at Jessica. “I’m NOT okay with waking up in the morning to find two
perverts making out on the couch that everyone sits on!”
Jessica looked away and felt her face heat up in embarrassment.
“Oh, y-you saw that, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Taeyeon held her glare for a moment before relenting with a sigh.
“Look, just be careful, okay? Take things slowly.”
Jessica looked at Taeyeon wryly. “Is this the part where you threaten to break every bone in
my body if I make Tiffany cry?”
“No, this is the part where I swear to hurt both you and Fany if there’s even a hint of a
problem. I can only keep Fany out of so much trouble, but she seems to step into it even more
whenever you’re involved. I swear, I’m gonna lose it if you two don’t get along.”
“We’re not that bad,” Jessica replied in an injured tone. “That was our first real fight.”
All Through the Night
131 | P a g e
“Fight or no fight, just try and stay out of trouble,” Taeyeon pleaded. “I’m half expecting one
of you guys to come back pregnant.”
“What!” Jessica shouted incredulously. She stared at Taeyeon dumbfounded, feeling her
ears begin to burn.
Taeyeon responded with a loud, ungraceful laugh. It was infectious enough that Jessica
soon joined in.  In the midst of the laughter, she realized that this was the first time Taeyeon had
ever broached the topic of her relationship with Tiffany since they started dating.  She had been
somewhat worried that the older girl had not approved of it, despite Tiffany’s assurances to the
contrary.  Jessica was even starting to wonder if Taeyeon was trying to avoid her.
“We’ll be good, Taengoo,” Jessica said once the laughing subsided.
“You better be!” Taeyeon said walking out of the room. “Now go have fun and make babies!”
Taeyeon then popped her head back into the room. “Seriously…don’t even try…”
Jessica smiled and shook her head in disbelief as she left her room.  When she made it back
to the car, she found Tiffany talking to her parents cheerfully. Jessica approached with a smile.
“Ready to go?” she asked.
“Yup!” Tiffany replied with a bright smile, her eyes disappearing.
“Oh! So cute!” Jessica’s mother exclaimed, pinching Tiffany’s cheeks.
Tiffany blushed at the comment and awkwardly turned to get into the car. Jessica and her
parents followed suit and they were soon off.
Jessica had intended to break the news to her parents after a few minutes in the car.  But
after watching her father negotiate through traffic while shouting at the other drivers, she realized
that if she did not want to get involved in an accident, she had better shut up.  As a result, she had a
lot of pent up nervous energy that seemed to only get worse by the minute.
She felt a warm sensation on her knee and looked down to find Tiffany’s hand squeezing it
reassuringly. Jessica looked up at Tiffany and smiled as the butterflies calmed in her stomach.
The effect, however, was only temporary. As they passed by the increasingly familiar
streets and landmarks, gradually, her jittery nerves returned. This time however, she was more
nervous about how Tiffany would view her neighborhood, her house, and essentially how she grew
up.
Tiffany’s face showed only curiosity as she stared out the window and listened to Mrs.
Jung’s stories of a young Jessica with rapt attention.
“Oh, and you see that over there?” Jessica’s mother said with a laugh. She was pointing out
the window as they passed by a non-descript house. “That’s Mrs. Kang’s house.  Her family used to
have this huge dog. He was nice, but extremely playful.”
“Mom,” Jessica said in a worried tone. She knew where this story was going.
Mrs. Jung continued with suppressed mirth, ignoring her daughter. “Well one time, Jessica
was walking home, I think she was in fifth grade, and she passed by the house.  Now somehow the
dog had managed to get out the front door, and apparently he could smell the candy that Jessica
was eating, so he jumped over the fence and started madly running around Jessica.”
Jessica buried her face in her hands. There was no stopping her mother now.
“Jessica was so terrified that she just ran off shrieking like a maniac. The dog had
apparently thought it was a game and decided to run after her.” Jessica’s mother was openly
laughing now. “He didn’t manage to catch Jessica, but he was been able to snatch her skirt. How it
came off Jessica, I have no idea. All I know is that she ran into the house crying with no bottom on!”
Tiffany and Jessica’s father joined in on the laughter while Jessica glared at her mother.
“Thanks mom, really, thanks.” She then turned to look at Tiffany. “Are you quite finished yet?”
Tiffany’s laughter began to subside but when she looked at Jessica, redoubled her efforts.
Jessica blushed and looked at the window, debating whether or not she should open the car door
and jump out.
All Through the Night
132 | P a g e
Much to her relief, it was only a few more minutes until they pulled up to the driveway of
her house. Jessica got out and nervously watched as Tiffany looked around, taking everything in.  A
small smile crept to Tiffany’s face as she gently fingered the small nameplate that read “Jung”. For
some unknown reason, Jessica felt a wave of warmth wash over her.
“Welcome to our home,” her mother said to Tiffany.
“Thank you for having me over, Mrs. Jung,” Tiffany replied formally, bowing.
“Gosh, you sound like a stranger!” Mrs. Jung complained. “Call me umma!”
“Okay…umma,” Tiffany said shyly.
Jessica’s mother laughed and turned to her husband. “We need to call Miyoung’s father to
see if he wants to trade daughters with us.”
“I’m only going to trade with him if he takes both daughters,” he replied. “Though he’d have
to be a pretty big sucker to do that.”
Mrs. Jung smiled and placed an affection arm around Tiffany, leading her into the house.
Jessica’s mind raced furiously.  On the one hand, she did not want to ruin the wonderful
mood that everyone was feeling at the moment, but on the other hand, for her own health and
safety, as well as Tiffany’s, this was probably the best type of mood for her to ruin.
She waited until her father entered the house with their bags and closed the door, before
loudly clearly her throat.
“Um, Mommy…Daddy,” Jessica nervously called out. She waited until all eyes were on her.
Tiffany looked at her expectantly and came to her side in a reassuring gesture.
“I just wanted to let you guys know that…um…I actually…uh…invited Tiffany over here
because…I wanted to introduce her to you.”
“How come?” her mother replied confused. “We already know Miyoung.”
“I mean…officially introduce her,” Jessica muttered, looking down at her feet. She then took
a hesitant step closer to Tiffany and clasped her hand. The couple looked apprehensively at the two
adults.
Jessica’s mother stared in disbelief before whispering under her breath, “Oh my
god…yoboh?” When there was no response, she turned around and found her husband with a
terror-stricken look on his face.
“Yoboh!”
Mr. Jung gave a startled jump before uncomfortably clearing his through. “Um…well…I
guess it was bound to happen sooner or later,” he lamely concluded.
Mrs. Jung sighed and turned back to look at the girls. She held an arm out towards the living
room couches.  “Um, sit.  I guess we need to talk about this, huh?”
“We can wait till later,” Jessica replied hesitantly.
“No no, it’s best to do this now, right dear?”  Jessica’s mother turned around to address her
husband, and found him in the process of walking out of the living room.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” she called out icily.
Mr. Jung froze then sheepishly walked back. “I was just getting a drink,” he weakly
defended.
Jessica’s mother glared. “You can wait.  Or did you happen to forget that we agreed to deal
with this particular situation together?”
Mrs. Jung then sat down on the couch and waited patiently. The three other occupants of
the room looked warily at each other before reluctantly sitting down.  Jessica and Tiffany nervously
sat on the love seat opposite the parents, their hands still tightly laced together.
Mrs. Jung sighed and looked at the pair with a serious expression on her face. “So how did
this happen?”
“I’ve always loved Tif—Stephanie, mom…since I first met her.” Jessica tightly squeezed
Tiffany’s hand, feeling Tiffany respond in kind.
All Through the Night
133 | P a g e
Turning to Tiffany with a frown, Mrs. Jung continued her questioning.  “What about you
Miyoung? Every time I hear your name on the news, it’s always about how you might be going out
with a different boy.”
“No, I swear, Mrs. Jung, those are all rumors!” Tiffany vehemently protested.  “I’ve never
gone out with any of them!”
The older woman looked at her doubtfully. “I mean, it just all seems too coincidental. That
the girl my daughter happens to like is a group member and just by chance also…you know…likes
women too.”
Mrs. Jung looked at Tiffany seriously. “I want to know Miyoung, be honest with me…and
yourself.  Why are you with Jessica? Is it just because you want to be loved?”
“Mom!” Jessica protested.
“Quiet, Sooyeon,” her mother said in a calm, yet deadly tone that Jessica knew better than to
speak out against.  “I’m talking to Miyoung. Well, Miyoung? Would you have loved my daughter if
she had never told you how she felt?”
Tiffany looked down at her knees.  “I…I don’t know,” she answered softly.  She then spoke in
a firmer tone, “I guess there’s a good chance I would have just gone on my happy way if Jessica
hadn’t said anything. But the thing is, she did tell me, and because of that, I know who I am now.
When I first found out about Jessica’s feelings, I pushed her away. I was afraid. Afraid that I
was…am gay. I didn’t want to be gay! Jessica and I have enough trouble without this being piled on,
you know?  But the more I pushed away from her, the more I kept thinking about her, realizing just
how much she was a part of my life. I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. And now that I’m with her, I
don’t regret a thing.”
Tiffany looked confidently into Mrs. Jung’s eyes. “Even before Jessica confessed to me, there
was always this emptiness inside of me. I tried to fill that void with singing, activities, and with as
many friends as possible.  All those things would fill me, but never completely, so I was always
looking for more. But now that I’m with Jessica, that hole’s gone now. She doesn’t even have to be
around me all the time. Just knowing that we share the same feelings keeps me whole.  I will always
be grateful to her for risking it all and taking that chance to tell me her true feelings.”
Jessica’s eyes were misting and she swallowed the lump had formed in her throat. Too
often everyone, including herself, would be so used to the happy-go-lucky Tiffany that they forgot
the strength and depth that lay within the cheery girl. It was impossible for Tiffany, more so than
any of the other members of their group, to have come this far without having that type of pure
resolve. Jessica felt her heart swell with pride.
“Um…okay,” Mrs. Jung said awkwardly, unprepared for Tiffany’s intense response. She gave
a weak smile. “Well, since you’ve been so honest, I’m going to be honest with you too. You should
know that as Jessica’s parents, we’re definitely not very happy with Jessica’s choices, especially this
one. But if she wants to do this, the last thing we need is for her to add any more incredibly dumb
decisions to that impressive list of hers.  She’s still our daughter after all, and we love her.  Oh, and
one more thing, Miyoung…”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“Didn’t I tell you to call me umma?” she asked in an injured tone. “I heard you call Taeyeon’s
umma that, why can’t you do that for me?”
Tiffany smiled. “I’m sorry, umma, I’ll try harder.”
Jessica’s mother turned to her husband. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
Mr. Jung cleared his throat and sat up straight, looking at Tiffany. “I guess it’s only right to
warn you about the consequences of dating my daughter.” He then critically observed Tiffany
fidgeting nervously again. “But it just doesn’t feel right,” he said with a sigh. He turned to his eldest
daughter. “Sooyeon?”
“Hm?” Jessica looked at her father attentively.
All Through the Night
134 | P a g e
“I want to be very clear. If you as much do anything inappropriate to this sweet girl, you’re
going to get a mouthful from me. Got it?”
“Eh?”
Her father’s eyes hardened. “Got it?”
“Y-yeah, Daddy, perfectly.”
Mr. Jung smiled and turned to face Tiffany once again. “Don’t worry Miyoung, she’s a good
girl. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything foolish.”
“You always get the ahjusshi fans,” Jessica muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, sir.”
Jessica’s mother then stood up. “Let’s go to the kitchen, I’m sure a nice snack would be good
right now.”
Jessica and Tiffany exchanged relieved smiles.
Snack may have been an understatement as Mrs. Jung had prepared a cornucopia of cookies
and pastries.  Tiffany happily popped a cookie in her mouth and snatched one of the glasses of milk
that had been poured out for a long sip.
“So are you the butch one?”
Tiffany choked into her cup, causing milk spray in all directions, most notably, on her own
face.  She put down the cup and began beating her chest as she violently coughed.
“Mom!” Jessica glared at her mother before wiping Tiffany’s face dry with a napkin.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Mrs. Jung apologized. “I was just curious.”  She then smiled. “Well, if
it couldn’t be with a boy, at least my daughter managed to bag a celebrity.”
“Mom! Cut it out!” Jessica exclaimed, embarrassed beyond belief. She was not sure if
Tiffany was blushing, since her face was still flushed from all the coughing.
Uncertain of how to act, Tiffany popped another cookie in her mouth and chewed nervously.
Jessica’s father then stepped into the kitchen, holding both of the girls’ bags in one hand.
“Uh, Sooyeon?”
“Yes, Daddy?”
“I was about to put the bags in your room and I realized I should ask you first if you two
are…” He then raised his free hand and crossed his index and middle fingers. His eyebrows lifted
suggestively.
Tiffany gagged on her cookie and began coughing violently once more.
“Would you two both cut it out?” Jessica demanded of her parents, while rubbing Tiffany’s
back.
Tiffany straightened up and rubbed her throat in discomfort.  “We would never do that sir,”
she vehemently denied.  “Jessica and I both agreed that we wouldn’t do that kind of stuff before
marriage.”
Jessica’s father looked at Tiffany as if she had sprouted another head.
Realizing what she said, Tiffany blushed. “Um…or whatever the equivalent is.”
Jessica buried her face into her hands. She could not believe she was having this
conversation with her parents.
“Equivalent, huh?” her mother said with a depressed sigh.  She looked at Tiffany. “Well, at
least you’re a good girl.” She then turned to address Jessica. “You’re father’s right, you know? If
you so much as lay a finger on Miyoung, you’re going to hear it from the both of us, okay?”
“Why am I always the bad one?” Jessica complained.
Her mother frowned. “Because I know you.”
Tiffany suppressed her laughter as she watched the ice queen rule over the princess with
absolute authority.
Jessica pouted and got up, grabbing Tiffany’s arm to pull her up as well. “Come one Tiff, I
don’t want you to be completely overwhelmed by all the love right now.”   
All Through the Night
135 | P a g e
She walked over to her father and took the bags from her hand. “It’s okay Daddy, I got it.”
After the two girls left, Mr. Jung looked worriedly at his wife. “Um…are you sure it’s okay
for them to be sleeping in the same room?”
Mrs. Jung pursed her lips. “It’s okay, I trust Sooyeon and Miyoung. Besides, they live in the
same apartment for heaven’s sake, there’s nothing we can do,” she concluded with a sigh. She
absentmindedly picked up a pastry and took a bite. “And I am definitely not going near that door. I
don’t want to accidentally hear something I REALLY don’t want to, do you?”
“Uh no, that’s okay.” Mr. Jung said, taking a seat and helping himself to a snack. “We’ll just
leave things how they are.”
“I thought you’d see it my way.”
Once the girls were upstairs, Jessica opened the door to her room with a smile. “Here we
are,” she announced happily. When Tiffany did not say anything, she turned around and discovered
a pout on the girl’s face.
“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked anxiously. “I-is it the walls?  I had my dad paint them when
we first moved in. I didn’t know better! I wasn’t even in junior high at the time! We can have them
repainted like tomorrow—”
“I can’t believe your mom thought that I was the butch one,” Tiffany huffed, interrupting
Jessica’s impromptu remodeling plans.
Jessica stared at Tiffany a moment before laughing. She dropped the bags on the floor and
wrapped her arms around Tiffany from behind.
“Poor baby,” she cooed.  “Well, at least they like you. To be honest, I think they’re more
worried about me causing problems in the relationship.”
Tiffany turned around in Jessica’s arms and smiled. “That was pretty funny, wasn’t it?”
She then sighed and touched her hair. “But that’s why I hate this short hair! I miss it long.
Why won’t it grow out faster?!”
“Really?  Because I absolutely love it,” Jessica said, kissing Tiffany.
Tiffany continued to pout. “That’s because you like being called the girl.”
Jessica laughed into the crook of Tiffany’s neck, playfully biting it before releasing her.
“Come on, let’s get you settled.”
Suddenly, loud thumping noises could be heard through the door as someone was
apparently marching up the stairs.
“Sooyeon!” Jessica’s father shouted. “I’m coming upstairs now!”  Seconds later the heavy
footfalls stopped in front of the door. “I’m at your door now!”
Jessica opened the door and found her father hidden behind a large futon and blankets.  “Is
it okay to look?” he asked.
“Yes Daddy,” she said while rolling her eyes. “Thanks, just put it by the bed.”
Mr. Jung’s head peeked out from the side. “No problem. I was just making sure you guys
had this because…well…you know. That is, I wouldn’t want you not to have it and be forced to
make…other arrangements.”
Jessica buried her face in her hand, thoroughly embarrassed.
“So, do you want me to set everything up here for you?”
“No, no, that’s okay Daddy,” Jessica said quickly. She firmly pushed her father out of the
room and closed the door. She turned and gave an embarrassed look to Tiffany. “Sorry,” she
apologized.
Tiffany laughed. “Gosh, if they expect so much from us, I’d really hate to disappoint them.”
“Be careful what you wish for you,” Jessica replied. She took a few predatory steps towards
Tiffany. “You’re on my home turf now. And besides, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to have
you over here. I’ve had plenty of time to develop some rather unique ideas.”
Tiffany blushed and quickly stepped away. “Nuh-uh, missy,” she protested. “This is my first
time in your room and I want to actually see it.”
All Through the Night
136 | P a g e
Jessica sighed in mock disapproval and sat on her bed. She watched Tiffany stroll about the
room, inspecting the pictures on her wall, picking up various trinkets, and happily squeezing her
stuffed animals.  She then came across a small collection of books sitting on her desk. She leaned
forward to inspect them and then snickered. She turned to look at Jessica.
“Nerd.”
Jessica stuck out her tongue. “Better than reading all those stupid Twilight books.”
Tiffany gave an exaggerated gasped and held a hand to her chest. “I’m going to pretend I
didn’t hear that. You’re lucky you’re so hot.”
She then walked over to the bed and sat down next to Jessica, bouncing up and down on the
springs for fun.
Jessica raised her eyebrows at Tiffany’s actions. “Testing something out?” she asked archly.
“Is that all you think about?!”  Tiffany gave her a playful shove and then paused, looking at
the nightstand curiously.
On top of the nightstand was a clutter of picture frames.  Tiffany stood back up and walked
over to pick up a miniature frame that was buried in the middle of the mess.  She held the frame
with both hands and stared at it intently.
Jessica got up to see which picture had captivated Tiffany attention, though she was pretty
sure she already knew. As she looked over Tiffany’s shoulder, her hunch was confirmed. The frame
itself was a nondescript black and made out of cheap plastic.  A soft pink sheet of paper was used as
the background and set in the center was a tiny sticker picture of Tiffany and Jessica in high school.
The sides of their faces were tightly pressed together and each girl had a grimace and one eye
squinted in mock battle, as if trying to force the other’s head out of the frame.   
One of Tiffany’s thumbs reached out and gently caressed the picture.  Jessica gently rested
her chin on Tiffany’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around.
“I didn’t have many pictures of you at the time,” she explained with a laugh.  “I thought it’d
be too lame to use your year book photo. That, and it felt kinda stalkerish.”
“Even back then?” Tiffany asked softly, rubbing a hand across Jessica’s arm.  It was less a
question and more of a statement.
Jessica knew immediately what Tiffany meant.
“I’ve loved you for almost as long as I could remember,” she confirmed. She frowned when
she felt, rather than heard, Tiffany sigh. “You okay?”
“I dunno,” Tiffany said in a melancholy tone. “It’s just that seeing this picture makes me feel
bad. Like, all these years you felt that way…despite everything that happened, you never let go of
your feelings. I just feel so…inadequate.  I wasn’t worth all that trouble.”
Jessica squeezed Tiffany tightly. “You’re absolutely wrong.  If you weren’t worth it, I would
have given up on you the first time you pissed me off. And if I ever hear you say that again, I’m
going to beat you senseless, okay?”
Tiffany laughed and turned around to hug Jessica tightly. “I love you too, you know. I just
hope it’s even half of how you feel for me.
“Probably not.”
“Jerk!” Tiffany exclaimed as she firmly pinched Jessica’s sides.
Jessica narrowed her eyes. “Oh, it’s on.”
She quickly spun around and threw Tiffany on to the bed. Before the startled girl could
react, Jessica pounced on top of Tiffany and began mercilessly tickling her.
“Here you go Miyoung, I forgot to give—” Jessica’s father had opened the door and was
holding a pillow. He caught sight of the two girls shrieking and tussling on the bed and his face
immediately went pale.  The girls stopped laughing and froze, uncertain of what to do.
“Uh, yeah, here,” he said shortly, tossing the pillow to the bed and quickly closing the door.
The rush of footsteps stumbling down the stairs could be heard.
All Through the Night
137 | P a g e
After staring at the closed door for a moment, Jessica looked back at Tiffany. “Wanna go out
for a walk?” she suggested.
“That’s probably for the best,” Tiffany replied.
They got off the bed and headed downstairs to tell Jessica’s parents that they were going to
go out for a bit. Mrs. Jung gave a critical look at her slightly wild-eyed husband and suggested that
the two girls take their time and go out to have lunch while they were out.
It was a fairly nondescript afternoon that day. There were no birds chirping, or bees
buzzing. The sky was fairly blue, but the horizon was tinted with the haze of smog.  There also
seemed to be an annoying number of flowers in bloom as Jessica’s allergies were acting up a bit.
Jessica, however, would not trade this day for many others.  It was absolute paradise to walk arm in
arm with Tiffany, strolling about with really no particular place to go. She pointed out certain
landmarks from time to time, but she much preferred the silence. Tiffany did not seem to mind the
quiet much either, as she leaned in to Jessica and let out a contented sigh as they made their way
lazily around the corner, passing by a large house.
A small silver compact was parked out in the driveway of the house and a college-aged girl
stepped out of it.  The young woman did a quick double take when she caught sight of Tiffany and
Jessica.
“Jessica!” she shouted excitedly in English.
Jessica looked at the girl in surprise.  Her surprise quickly turned to excitement as she saw
the older girl charge towards her.  Jessica released herself from Tiffany’s arm and sprinted forwards
to meet the girl halfway in a crushing bear hug.
“Minjung!” Jessica exclaimed ecstatically.  “I thought you were still in New York!”
“Nah, I graduated in the winter, so I’m back now!”
Minjung pulled back and looked at Jessica. “Ah! I haven’t seen you in forever!” she said,
jumping up and down in excitement. “You’re even cuter now!”
Jessica blushed. “Well you’re still freakin’ hot as ever!”
“Of course!”
Jessica laughed and stared at Minjung openly.  She was not exaggerating. Since she had
known the girl, Minjung Lee had always been a stunner.  She was the epitome of soft features.  Her
crescent eyes matched perfectly with her dainty nose, delicate lips, and round chin.  Interestingly,
when the girl smiled, and she did so quite frequently, her eyes would disappear in a fashion not
unlike Tiffany’s own smiling eyes.  Her eyes were framed by shimmering wavy hair that reflected
the sunlight and almost begged to be touched.
Each of those features by themselves would have made other girls scream in jealously, but
packaged together on a hot body made them all cry against the unfairness of it all.  Minjung’s body
was the icing on a very delicious cake. Her lean and trim frame was still curvy where curvy should
be, and most definitely perky everywhere a girl wanted to be perky.
While Jessica was admiring Minjung, Minjung was doing the same and loudly spoke up.
“Seriously, look at you,” she said in wonderment. “Cute was always a given, but I didn’t
expect you to grow up to be this hot! Wow!  You look even better than all the pictures on the
internet.  Guys must be barking up your tree non-stop!”
Jessica gave and embarrassed laugh and covered her red face.
“Ah!  Tomato-faced Jess! I missed her!” Minjung teased. “You haven’t changed at bit.”
Jessica was busy rubbing her arm in embarrassment when she heard a cough from behind
her. Turning around, she discovered that Tiffany had made her way over and was now giving
Jessica a rather pointed stare.
Jessica swallowed nervously, as she realized she was still holding Minjung’s hands.  She
hastily released them and took a step back.
“Hey Min, this is—”
All Through the Night
138 | P a g e
“Tiffany Hwang! Real name Stephanie, of course!”  Minjung turned to Tiffany. “Pleased to
meet ya, I’m Min!”
“Hi,” Tiffany replied, falling about fifteen watts short of her normal output.  Jessica noticed
and surreptitiously glanced at Tiffany while the two were exchanging formal pleasantries.  Tiffany
smiled a toothy smile like she always did when meeting someone for the first time, but there was
definite tension in that smile.  Her eyelids fluttered and her head constantly bobbed, trying to hide
the fact that her eyes were appraising every aspect of Minjung.  Jessica then noticed Tiffany’s
creased brow. A sure sign the normally expressive girl was trying to be anything but expressive.
Jessica could only assume that Tiffany had come to the same conclusion about Minjung’s hotness as
the rest of the world.  And it seemed to bother her. A lot.
“So are your other members around too?” Minjung asked looking around. “The boys are
going to go insane, as if they don’t go crazy enough when Jessica’s hot little bod comes home. Or so
my mom and everyone else in the neighborhood say.”
“No, it’s just Tiff and me,” Jessica said, giggling like a little school girl.
At that moment, Tiffany swung her foot at Jessica in irritation.  Though she had apparently
forgotten that she was wearing open-toed sandals and she yelped in pain as her big toe stubbed
itself on Jessica’s heel.
Minjung and Jessica looked at Tiffany in surprise as she hopped on one foot for some time.
“Sorry,” Tiffany mumbled. “Didn’t see where my foot was going.”
Jessica gave Tiffany a tiny frown, hoping the girl would take the hint and stop her antics.
“Say Min,” she said turning back to her friend. “We were on our way to lunch, do you wanna
come?”
Jessica could practically feel Tiffany’s glare burning on her back. She knew the girl was
jealous, but she hadn’t seen Minjung in more than three years. Tiffany was just going to have to be
grown up about it. Either that, or make her life a living hell for the foreseeable future. Jessica
suppressed the urge to sigh at that thought.
“Really? I haven’t eaten yet, that’d be awesome!” Minjung exclaimed. She then caught
herself and looked at Tiffany. “That is, if you guys didn’t already have something planned.”
Jealous or not, Tiffany could not turn away Minjung as the invitation had already been
extended. Instead, she plastered on a smile and reluctantly repeated Jessica’s invitation. “Oh
yeah…no problem, come on…”
Minjung sensed Tiffany’s reluctance, but credited them to more noble reasons.  “Don’t
worry,” she reassured. “As you can see, I’m not a rabid fanboy, so I won’t assault you guys.”  She
wrapped an arm around Jessica and patted her on the head. “I’ve known little Jessie here since she
moved from SF, so she’s quite normal to me.”
“You may be the only one that thinks that,” Tiffany muttered as she stared at Jessica.
Jessica smiled back, enjoying the head pat as long as she could before Tiffany’s stare became
dangerous.
“Minjung moved here from New York the year before I did,” she explained, hoping to defuse
Time Bomb Hwang.  “I just kinda naturally gravitated towards her when I moved in. Plus, she was
the super cool high school girl back then.”
“Oh, you’re such a charmer!” Minjung squealed. She removed her arm and firmly pinched
both of Jessica’s cheeks. “Come on! Let’s go eat!  We can go to that Soon Doo Boo place by the mall!
It’s still around, right?”
“Of course it is!” Jessica said, clapping excitedly. “That place is always so busy, they’d never
go out of business!”
Minjung smiled and linked arms with Jessica. “Shall we go then? Come on Tiffany!” She
turned and offered her other arm to Tiffany.
Tiffany warily looked at the arm before reluctantly linking up.  Minjung happily smiled as
the trio began walking down the street.   
All Through the Night
139 | P a g e
“Ah! I feel like I’m part of Girls’ Generation now!” she said, smiling at Jessica. She then
turned her smiling eyes upon Tiffany.
Jessica looked over, curious to what Tiffany’s reaction would be. She smirked when she saw
Tiffany’s stunned face. This was probably the first time the girl had ever felt the devastating effects
that her own eye smile had on everyone else.  Tiffany could only give a weak smile before she
turned away and touched her nose in an oddly self-conscious gesture.
Lunch was not as challenging as Jessica was anticipating it to be.  This was mostly due to
Minjung’s ability to keep a conversation moving.  Tiffany was forced to push away any irritable
feelings as she was constantly engaged in conversation.  That did not mean that Jessica was immune
from one or two frosty stares whenever an affectionate touch was exchanged.  Tiffany also found
other non verbal ways to make her displeasure known. One such example was when Jessica
reached for some of the shredded potato noodles. As her chopsticks were about to reach the dish,
Tiffany’s chopsticks quickly swooped in and snatched the entire bundle.  She then stretched her
mouth wide and shoved the entire wad into her mouth. Jessica raised her eyebrows but smartly
refrained from making a comment about her girlfriend’s enormous mouth. Instead, she focused on
her soon doo boo and let Minjung continue to guide the conversation.  An hour and a half later,
Jessica was disappointed that her lunch had ended, but she also could not have been more eager to
have it all done with.
When the girls finally parted ways with Minjung at her place, the walk back to the Jessica’s
house was accompanied with an oppressive silence.  Jessica looked at Tiffany with an amused
expression on her face.
“C’mon Tiff,” she wheedled. “How much longer are you gonna sulk like this?”
“I’ll let you know when I’m done,” Tiffany sniffed.
“What is it that you don’t like about Min, huh?”
“There’s nothing wrong with Min!” Tiffany protested, still looking straight ahead at the
street. “I just don’t see why I have to be okay with you freakin’ fangirling over her.”
“Aww, I’m sorry you got jealous,” Jessica coaxed. “I just haven’t seen her in years, and you
gotta admit, she’s a great person to hang around.”
“I wasn’t jealous!” Tiffany said, glaring at Jessica. She then looked forward again. “Besides,
she talks too much.”
Jessica stared at Tiffany, disbelievingly.
Tiffany looked back at her.  “What?” she defended.
Jessica laughed and linked arms with her. “Fine, she’s nice, but talks a little too much. A lot
like another girl I know.” She gave a meaningful look.
“That’s beside the point,” Tiffany said, putting her nose into the air.
“You know what?” Jessica said thoughtfully. “I just realized, from the talking right down to
the eye smile, Min’s basically an older version of you. No wonder I liked her so much!”
“Or I’m a younger version of her and just your Minjung replacement.”
Jessica frowned. “How can you say that? There’s no way…”
Her words trailed off as they had come up to her house.  Out in the driveway, Jessica spotted
her parents getting into the car. Confused, she quickly hurried to them.
“Where are you guys going?” she asked as her dad stepped into the driver’s seat.
“Oh, I’m going to take your mother to market to get some things for dinner, okay?”
“We’re going to have a big dinner, so try not to have any more snacks,” her mom called out
from the other side.
Jessica nodded and watched the car pull out of the driveway.  When she turned around, she
caught Tiffany already stepping into the house.  She quickly chased after her as the sullen girl made
her way into Jessica’s room, sitting down on the bed with her arms folded.
“Come on, Tiff,” Jessica pleaded as she entered the room. “Don’t be like this. Min’s as
straight as an arrow.”
All Through the Night
140 | P a g e
“I bet you wish every day she wasn’t though.”
Jessica leveled a hard look at the petulant girl. “Are we really going to start this again?”
Tiffany glared back at Jessica and the room fell into a hard silence. With a sigh, Tiffany
broke the stare and looked away. “No,” she mumbled. “It’s just that…”
“Just what?”
“Well, she’s taller and skinnier than me! And she has a smaller nose too…”
Jessica burst out laughing. “You were jealous of her nose?!”
“Sure, laugh all you want,” Tiffany muttered as her cheeks began to flush. “You don’t have a
big, red honker like mine. I feel like a clown with my huge nose and lips.”
“Are you done being self conscious now?”
Tiffany glared. “Not if you put it that way.”
Jessica sighed and sat down on the bed. She placed both of her hands on Tiffany’s cheeks,
forcing the other girl to look at her.
“Listen Fany, your lips aren’t fat! They’re soft and kissable.” She smirked. “Plus, they’re
easy to find when I’m sleepy or I don’t have my contacts or glasses on.”
Tiffany gave a reluctant smile. “Then what about my nose?”
“Same reason. Only your nose helps me spot you from further away. Like a beacon.”
“You wanna die?”
“Depends if torture is involved,” Jessica answered promptly.
Tiffany broke into a full smile and rested her forehead on Jessica’s.
“I’m sorry, Jess,” she apologized. “I know you’re not going to just jump at any hot girl that
walks by.  But it’s just not fun watching you fangirl over another girl.  Guess I got a bit jealous."
“A bit?” Jessica asked with a smile. “Well, it’s good to know that you trust me. Of course I
would never be that shallow! I wouldn’t trade your sweet little body for any other girl…except
Hyori unnie.”
Tiffany straightened up and put her hands on her hips.  “Didn’t you hear?  With my eyes, I’m
the younger version of Hyori unnie!”
“You wish.”
“Hey!”
Jessica quickly pulled Tiffany back into her arms. “Fany, is Fany, and that’s good enough for
me,” she said hugging her tightly.  “Trust me, you’re not the younger version of Min or Hyori, or
anybody else. You’re about as unique as unique can get.”
Tiffany returned the hug and laughed.  “Well, I’m pretty sure the same goes for you. Aint
nobody got anything that you have. Especially your cute overbite.”
“What?!”
Jessica shoved Tiffany on her back and resumed the tickle fight that her father had
interrupted earlier. In what seemed like only seconds since her parents had left, the sound of her
mother and father talking echoed up into her room.  The girls quickly broke up and sat up on the
bed, out of breath and lightly sweating.
“I guess we better go down and help them,” Tiffany said in a somewhat disappointed tone.
Jessica looked at her and laughed. “Not like that. They’re going to get ideas about how we
spent our free time.”
Tiffany looked at herself at the full length mirror hanging on the opposite wall and laughed.
Her flushed face was highlighted by mussed hair that seemed to point out in every direction. Her
shirt was wrinkled and askew and some parts were untucked.
“It does look pretty bad, doesn’t it?” She stood up and walked towards the mirror, fixing her
hair and tucking her shirt back in. Jessica lazily lounged on the bed, content to watch Tiffany fix
herself up.
Tiffany then whirled around and looked at Jessica accusingly.
“Did you unbutton my pants?”
All Through the Night
141 | P a g e
Jessica blinked. Sure enough, the button on Tiffany’s pants was unbuttoned, exposing a cute
tiny pink ribbon resting atop matching pink panties. Jessica could not take her eyes off of it.
“Jess!”
Jessica jumped in surprise and looked at the slightly irate girl. She quickly held up her
hands in innocence. “I honestly don’t remember doing that.”
Tiffany raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously!”
“So you’re saying that your hand has a mind of its own?”
“Seems that way,” Jessica said. Her face suddenly took on a look of concern. “Uh-oh, there it
goes again! I can’t stop it!” She raised her right hand and moved it around erratically, pretending to
struggle with it.
“Ah! It’s loose!”
Her mutinous hand suddenly took the shape of a claw and Jessica stood up and charged at
Tiffany’s chest with it.  Tiffany shrieked and ran out of the room with Jessica hot on her heels.  The
wild chase continued all the way down the stairs and through the living room, ending at the kitchen
counter in front of a startled Mrs. Jung.
Jessica’s mother looked at the two girls strangely as they heaved and gasped to catch their
breaths.
“Something you girls need?” she asked hesitantly.
“Do you need any help Mrs.—umma?” Tiffany asked when her heavy breathing subsided.
Mrs. Jung shrugged. “Why not? It’d be nice to have some help around here.” She then cast a
reproachful glance at Jessica. “If you haven’t noticed, Sooyeon is horrible in kitchen. Pay attention
Sooyeon! You might finally learn something here.”
Jessica forced down a smile and nodded. “I’ll get the aprons,” she offered, excited to see
what the results would turn out to be.
They turned out to be nothing short of disastrous.  It did not take more than seven minutes
for Jessica’s mom to shoo both girls out of the kitchen.
“Out! Out!” she shouted, pushing the two out of the kitchen. Jessica and Tiffany were
completely doused in flour.
“How can two girls be so horrible at cooking?!  I didn’t even know I had any flour!”
“I’m so sorry umma,” Tiffany apologized. “We’ll clean it up right away!”
“Nonono!” Mrs. Jung hurriedly stopped Tiffany from stepping back into the kitchen. “Just
go to the bathroom and clean up.”
A tiny explosion sounded and a pot on the stovetop suddenly burst into flames.
“Oh my god!” Jessica’s mother quickly grabbed a nearby lid and smothered the flames. She
looked back at the girls with an exhausted expression. “Just go…please.”
Jessica quickly grabbed Tiffany’s arm and led her away.  She led her towards the bathroom
to get cleaned up, but as they passed by the front door, it opened and Krystal stepped through.
“I’m ho—OHMYGOD!”
“Hi Krystal,” Tiffany said cheerily. She vigorously waved her hand as a cloud of flour puffed
into the air.
“H-hi, unnie,” Krstal said, looking at the two in confusion. She then turned to Jessica. “What
the hell happened to you two?”
“Um, we tried to cook.”
Krystal’s eyes went wide.
“Don’t worry,” Jessica reassured. “Mom’s starting over…once she gets the fire put out and
the kitchen cleaned.”
Krystal let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god. I just had a crappy day at a school and vocal
training was no picnic either. The last thing I need is to eat food that’ll keep me in the bathroom all
night.”
All Through the Night
142 | P a g e
“Oh, I’m sorry you had such a bad day, Krys,” Tiffany said sympathetically. She stepped
forward and raised her floured arms.
“Uh, thanks, but no thanks,” Krystal said, taking a quick step backwards. “So why are you
here, unnie?”
“She doesn’t need any reason,” Jessica said. “I invited her.”
“That is a reason, you idiot.”
“Hey, that’s unnie to you.”
“Well, at least you seem to be back to normal,” Krystal observed.
“Huh?”
“Last time you came home, you were a wreck, remember?”
“Oh yeah,” Jessica scratched the back of her floured hair in discomfort while Tiffany
coughed and looked away.
Krystal raised her eyebrow at the simultaneous actions. “Anyway, I’m guessing you guys
need to clean up. Let me know when you and your girlfriend are done because I really need a
shower.”
“WHAT?!” exclaimed Tiffany and Jessica at once.
Krystal jumped in surprise. “What? I just said that I needed to take a shower.”
“Oh, well you see…” Jessica floundered for a moment, trying to think of a reasonable
explanation. Unfortunately, nothing came to her. “Yeah…well, okay! C’mon Fany, let’s go!”
Krystal sighed as she went to her room. “I wish I were an only child…”
Dinner was a joyously noisy affair. Tiffany happily chatted with Jessica’s parents while
Jessica and Krystal fought every few minutes.  Occasionally, Tiffany would be dragged into the
arguments to which she would immediately side with Krystal. When Jessica demanded to know
why she was being so traitorous, Tiffany simply replied that maknaes had to stick together, earning
a high five from Krystal. Jessica got her revenge though. Tiffany had been completely caught off
guard by Jessica’s busy feet that she jumped up in surprise, banging on the table. This was
immediately followed by Jessica receiving a disapprovingly look from her mother, her father
looking away in embarrassment, and Krystal looking at Tiffany in confusion.
Once dinner was finished, Krystal went to her room to do her homework while Jessica
stretched out in anticipation of a lazy night. To her dismay, Tiffany offered to clean up the table and
do the dishes. Jessica shot her a glare, knowing that she would have to help as well.  Mrs. Jung
happily, and very quickly, acquiesced, well aware of how much her own daughter hated the chore.
It would definitely be a novel sight for her.
When that was all done with, Jessica quickly dragged Tiffany to her room so as to prevent
the girl from offering to clean the entire house in an attempt to appease the in-laws.  Once in her
room, she watched as Tiffany reached into her bag to pull out a thick pile of papers. She then went
over to the bed to lay on her stomach as she began flipping through a few stapled sheets.
“Whacha doin’?” Jessica asked, sliding onto the bed. She rested her upper body over
Tiffany’s back and placed her chin on Tiffany’s shoulder.
“Going over some scripts,” Tiffany mumbled, her attention still focused on the words in
front of her.
Jessica read some of the lines and realized that they were for SoSoGaBek.  She frowned and
looked down on the bed at a few other sheets lying about. “You have scripts for the rest of the
week?” she asked surprised.
“Of course,” Tiffany explained. “We try to film multiple shows in one day. How else did you
think I was even able to come here with you?”
Jessica smiled. “I dunno, I just thought you loved me so much that you told the MNet people
where they could shove their show.”
Tiffany laughed and tapped the crown Jessica’s head with the script.  “Well somebody needs
to bring home the bacon, since you keep rejecting all these appearances.”
All Through the Night
143 | P a g e
“Well, you may just have to keep doing that,” Jessica muttered, rolling off of Tiffany and
onto her stomach. “I don’t like going on shows. I always embarrass myself and the editors always
find some way to cut it so I look like a frigid bitch with no sense of humor.”
“So what? Let them!” Tiffany countered. “Who cares what they think, I kinda like it.”
“What?”
Tiffany shifted to her side and looked at Jessica. “It makes me happy to know that warm,
soft, and pliant Jessica is only for me.”  She then sat up and began rubbing Jessica’s back and behind
in a relaxing massage.
Jessica closed her eyes and gave a playful moan. “Mm…you’re getting really good at this.”
“Why thank you, I’ve been practicing.”
“Oh really? On what pray tell?” she asked as she enjoyed the warmth of Tiffany’s hands
kneading her bottom.
“Maknae.”
Jessica twisted around and gave a look of undisguised shock.
Tiffany laughed and spanked her loudly. “C’mon, can’t you even tell when I’m joking?”
“I’m sorry, that image was just too…shocking.”
Tiffany frowned as she continued her rubdown. “Then stop looking like you’re still picturing
it. She’s only sixteen fer crying out loud."
“Seventeen here in Korea,” Jessica corrected.
“Wrong is wrong, Jess.  Woah!” Tiffany jerked her hands back. “I think your tushie is happy
to see me!”
“That’s my cell phone, you idiot.”
“Oh. That’s too bad. It would’ve been an interesting talent to show on a variety program.”
She fished the phone out of Jessica’s pocket and handed it to her.
Jessica flipped open her cell phone. “Hmm, it’s a text from Yuri.”
“Really?”
“Definitely. Only she would send a text like this.” She handed the phone over to Tiffany to
read.
Tiffany looked at the message and read it aloud.  “Don’t stay up too late you wild animals.
And remember to stretch properly before any activities.”  Tiffany snorted. “That’s Yuri alright. I’m
going to delete it, okay?”
“Please do.”
Tiffany pressed a few buttons on the phone and then gasped while turning bright red.
“YAH! Jessica Jung! What is this!?”
Tiffany turned the phone display to face Jessica.
“Huh?” Jessica sat up and looked at Tiffany in confusion. “It’s my phone.”
“I know that, but what’s ON it!?”
Jessica smiled brightly.  “My wallpaper!”
“Yes!  But WHY am I on it?!” Tiffany pointed emphatically at the animated wallpaper of
herself in a blue jacket and track shorts, dating back from their first Gubne chicken commercial.
The animated Tiffany was twirling around in slow motion. The image paused for a few seconds
every time Tiffany’s round buttocks was in clear view, before looping backwards and then forwards
again.
“Is something wrong with it?”
“W-where did you get it?” Tiffany demanded, still flustered.
Jessica laughed. “Where can’t you get this picture? It’s everywhere!”
Tiffany narrowed her eyes and Jessica hugged her in sympathy.
“Aww, poor baby.  If it makes you feel bad, I’ll get rid of it.”
Tiffany’s expression brightened.
All Through the Night
144 | P a g e
“But only if you can replace its loss with another picture of equal or greater value,” Jessica
said, holding up a finger.
“So you want me to go online and find another picture of my butt?”
“Oh no, dear. I want a new, never before seen to the public kind of picture.” Jessica was
grinning widely.
Tiffany glared at her. “You’re such a perv, you know that?”
“When you’re involved, absolutely.”
Tiffany gave an exasperated smile. “You’re hopeless.”
Jessica’s eyes lit up. “Oh! You could give me a picture of you in your sexy cookie undies! I’ll
delete the picture if you do that! Heck I’ll do anything if you wore those undies again!”
Tiffany grabbed a nearby pillow and creamed her. “Enough!” she exclaimed, blushing madly.
Embarrassed, she reached over and picked up one of her scripts to start looking at again.
Jessica frowned and quickly plucked the sheets out of Tiffany’s hand.
“C’mon, you can look at your scripts tomorrow morning, I promise.”  Jessica collected the
other scripts on the bed and tossed them to the floor. “Let’s do something together.”
Tiffany gave a glance reluctantly at the pile on the floor before turning back to Jessica. “Fine,
what do you propose then?”
Jessica’s eyes brightened and she practically jumped off the bed and hurried to her desk.
She pulled opened the bottommost drawer and began leafing through a stack of documents.  After a
few seconds she triumphantly pulled out a few sheets of paper.  She returned to the bed and placed
the sheets in front of Tiffany.
Tiffany looked down at the paper and back up at Jessica. “Sheet music?” she asked.
Jessica nodded. “Let’s sing it!”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah!  It’ll be fun. I wanted to do this song for my first showcase, but they made me dance
instead. And then after that, the instructors always suggested some other songs for me to do.
Please?” Jessica pushed out her lower lip and gave the saddest puppy face she could muster.
“Okay! Okay!” Tiffany quickly acquiesced.
Tiffany picked up the first page and read the title of the song. “Oh, that’s a beautiful song,”
she said in a dreamy tone.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
The room went silent and Tiffany stared at Jessica before bursting out in laughter.
“Oh my god,” Tiffany managed to get out, wiping at her eyes. “That was soo bad!”
Jessica narrowed her eyes. “Really?”
“Don’t be mad Jess.” Tiffany dropped her voice as low as possible. “You’re just not as
beautiful as me.” She then burst out laughing again.
Jessica gave Tiffany her harshest glare, but to no avail, as the girl was clutching her stomach
in laughter.  She then decided for a more direct line of retribution.
“Tickle torture!” she shouted, pouncing on top of the laughing girl.
Tiffany gave a high pitched shriek as soon as Jessica launched the assault. It was not long
after, however, that the laughing soon subsided into heavy breathing.

Krystal stumbled backwards from the crack in the door and clasped a trembling hand to her
mouth.  She watched in horror as her sister and friend were locked in an intimate embrace, sharing
passionate kisses as their hands roamed across each other.
“Unnie…”
CHAPTER 17 :  ILL WIND
“Ugh!  Why aren’t they back?  What time is it now?”
“About 30 seconds since the last time you asked,” Yuri replied in an annoyed tone.  She
proceeded to raise the volume on the television.
Taeyeon sighed and walked over to the pile of cushions where Yuri sat and collapsed onto
her back.
“Taengoo, stop worrying,” Sunny said when she came out of the kitchen, a bowl of cereal in
her hands.  “They don’t need to be back for a few more hours.”
Yuri laughed. “Yeah, if I were them, I’d be milking it for all its worth.”
“Well they should at least call,” Taeyeon muttered irritably.
“Aww,” Yuri cooed.  She leaned over and pinched Taeyeon’s cheeks.  “Are you sad that your
little baby has found a new special someone to be with now?”
Taeyeon winced and slapped Yuri’s hand away. “Ya, I’m just worried.  Aren’t you worried
about what kind of trouble they can get into?”
“Not really. They’re not going to run down the streets of Seoul proclaiming their undying
love. Have some faith and let them fly.”
Taeyeon looked at Yuri seriously. “If I let Fany fly away, she’ll probably crash headfirst into
a window.”
“Just relax,” Sunny said as she sat down next to them, a smile playing on her lips. “You
always get a bit jealous and overprotective of Fany, you know?  I remember the first time Fany
asked me for help—”
“Aigoo!” Taeyeon quickly sat up and reached over to clamp Sunny’s mouth shut.
Laughing, Sunny twisted away from Taeyeon’s grasp and continued the story to Yuri. “Fany
came to my room because she needed someone to talk to since Taengoo was out on schedule.”
“Aish!  Stop!” Taeyeon protested while climbing all over Sunny’s back. Yuri, however,
seized Taeyeon’s arms and held them behind her back.
“And?” Yuri asked as she held the struggling kid leader in her arms.
Sunny gave a cheeky smile and took another spoonful of her cereal before continuing. “So
we had been talking for a few hours and then all of the sudden, BANG! Taeyeon kicks down my
door!  She had this crazy look in her eyes and was waving her cell phone in the air when she
shouted, ‘Fany-ah, I got your text!  What’s the problem!?’”
Yuri immediately released Taeyeon and fell to her side, doubled over in laughter.  Taeyeon
glared at Sunny. “You totally exaggerated that story,” she said sourly.  She then ripped the cereal
bowl away from Sunny’s hands and began eating from it.
Sunny only laughed and crinkled her nose. “Really? Exaggerate? You kicked Fany out of the
room and made me repeat every single thing I told her!”
“I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t lead her astray,” Taeyeon muttered, shoving
another large spoonful of cereal into her mouth. She then turned and glared at the still cackling
Yuri. “Are you done yet?”
“Something happen?” Hyoyeon asked as she stepped out into the living room. She was busy
tying her hair into a ponytail. She paused and looked at the girl on the floor, laughing
uncontrollably.  She then looked at Sunny and Taeyeon in confusion.
Taeyeon looked at Yuri in disgust. “Can we ever be sure with that dork?”
Hyoyeon smirked and nudged Yuri with her foot. “Hey, crazy girl,” she said. “I’m ready to
go to the gym.”
Yuri slowly sat up and rubbed the tears from her eyes. “Ah, okay…okay, let’s go,” she said
breathlessly.
Ill Wind
146 | P a g e
Hyoyeon then looked around the room.  “Fany and Sica aren’t back yet, huh? You’d think
they’d call.”
Yuri snorted as she held in another wave of laughter.  Hyoyeon looked at her in strangely.
“What?”
“Just ignore her,” Taeyeon said irritably.
Taeyeon decided to follow the girls outside, claiming she needed some air and sunlight,
though it was apparent Yuri was not buying the excuse as she kept looking at her with amused eyes.
Outside the building, Taeyeon waited until Hyoyeon and Yuri had turned the corner before she
began earnestly looking up and down the street.  She waited outside for a few more minutes, hoping
the two delinquent girls would show up, but eventually gave up when passersby began to recognize
her.
When she re-entered the apartment, she found the living room empty and the quietness of
the apartment slightly unsettling.  Sooyoung and Seohyun were at school while Yoona was out
filming, so with nothing better to do, Taeyeon went into Sunny’s room in search of the slightly
shorter girl.  She opened the door and found Sunny lying on her bed, staring intently at her
handheld video game.
“Isn’t it a bit early in the morning to be playing video games?”
“Probably,” Sunny said absently. “But it keeps me from getting stressed.”
“What in the world could be stressing you?”
Without missing a beat, Sunny responded, “You are.”
“Har har.”  Taeyeon sat down on the edge of Sunny’s bed and sighed.
“Something wrong, Taengoo?” the gamer asked in a distracted voice.
“Are you okay with all of this?”
“It’s fine. I told you that they don’t need to get back yet. I don’t know why you’re getting so
worked up over it.”
“No, I mean…about those two in general. Are you okay with it?”
Sunny looked at Taeyeon curiously before pausing her game and sitting up.  “Honestly?”
Taeyeon nodded.
“Well, I mean I’m happy for them and all, but seriously, I just want to cringe every time I see
them touch. It’s just…I dunno, it’s just weird.”
“But…do you ever wish that they never got together?”
Sunny furrowed her brow. “No. Is that what you’ve been thinking?”
“No! Well, yes, but it’s not like that!  It’s just…they had a pretty big fight recently and now I
can’t stop worrying about them. I keep wondering what’s going to happen if things don’t work out
between the two of them, ya know? I know it’s selfish, but I’m just afraid they’re going to blow up
on each other and it’ll cause problems for all of us.”
Taeyeon sighed and fell backwards onto the bed. “Not very leader-like, am I?”
“I don’t think it’s that bad,” Sunny said. She leaned back next to Taeyeon. “I mean, if
anything, that just shows how you think of everyone as a family. So of course you would be worried
about that. Besides, we’re all allowed to have selfish thoughts. It’s perfectly human.”
“I guess.”
“And now that you mention it, you kinda got me worried too. But I think all relationships
have that uncertainty in the beginning, right?”
“Yeah, it’s just scarier here because it’s all within all family, you know?”
“That and it’s Jessica AND Tiffany,” Sunny said with a laugh. “When do they NOT fight? Oh,
wait…”
“What?”
“I just realized something. If it’s all within the family, wouldn’t that make what they’re
doing, incest?”
“Oh gross! What the hell is wrong with you?!”   
Ill Wind
147 | P a g e
Taeyeon sat up and began hitting Sunny.  Sunny, however, was too busy laughing to shield
herself from Taeyeon’s blows. Instead, she simply rolled over and tried to smother Taeyeon in self
defense.
“Am I interrupting something?”
Both girls froze at the flat voice.  Startled, they twisted their heads and found Jessica
standing by the door with an arched brow, her arms crossed.
“It’s not what you think!” Sunny exclaimed as she quickly rolled off the bed.
Jessica smirked. “'Looks you guys were busy making babies too.”
Taeyeon blushed in embarrassment before straightening up in alarm. “Wait, what do you
mean ‘too’?”
Jessica’s face suddenly turned serious. “Taeyeon,” she began.
Taeyeon felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Jessica looked down at the floor in shame. “Taeyeon, we had an unexpected…problem.  II’m sorry…we weren’t careful…”
Taeyeon jumped off the bed and closed the gap to Jessica.  “What happened to Fany!” she
said in alarm. She could feel the hysteria begin to rise. “Where is she?!”
“It’s okay,” said a faint voice from beyond the door. “I’m here.”
Tiffany slowly walked into the room with a tragic expression on her face.  “Taetae…mianhae.”
Taeyeon gasped and felt her knees go weak.  Tiffany had slowly shuffled into the room with
one hand behind her back and another resting on a large bump on her belly.
Taeyeon quickly ran over to Tiffany and roughly grabbed her by the shoulders. “Oh my god,
Fany!” she screamed. She then glared at Jessica, “This is your fault!”
The sound of Sunny’s laughter broke Taeyeon’s concentration and she suddenly realized the
absurdity of the entire situation.  Turning back to Tiffany, she found the “pregnant” girl trembling as
she tried to hold in her laughter, though neither Jessica nor Sunny were so considerate.
“Aish!” Taeyeon removed her hands from Tiffany and flicked the troublemaker’s forehead in
retaliation.  She then turned around to hide her embarrassment.
“Aww, I’m sorry Taengoo,” Tiffany apologized.  She pulled out the jacket tucked under her
shirt and reached around to hug Taeyeon tightly from behind.
“Yeah, yeah,” Taeyeon sighed and patted Tiffany on the arm. She then pulled away and
turned around and cast a critical glance to both Jessica and Tiffany. ”Did you guys go on a couple’s
vacation or something?”
Tiffany smiled and linked arms with a clearly embarrassed Jessica. The pair had on
matching pink sweats.
“Cute, huh?” Tiffany exclaimed. “We got them when we went shopping yesterday. I didn’t
like them at first, but Jess kept on bugging me and forced me try one on. They kinda grow on you,
don’t ya think?”
Jessica’s face burned bright red and she looked down, suddenly finding her fingernails
extremely interesting.
Taeyeon and Sunny stared at the bashfully blushing Jessica in disbelief.  Feeling eyes on her,
Jessica looked up and glared. “What?” she challenged, though her face was still cherry red.
“And then she kept insisting that we wear the clothes the entire day yesterday and today,”
Tiffany continued. “It was pretty cute the way she squealed—”
Jessica quickly wrapped a hand around Tiffany’s large mouth and began dragging the girl
out of the room. “Come on, Fany,” she muttered.  “Let’s go to my room and change.”
The two girls watched as Jessica forcibley led Tiffany out of the room.  After a moment of
silence, Sunny spoke up. “We probably shouldn’t bother them for a wh—”
“Totally.”

Ill Wind
148 | P a g e
Krystal stared out the classroom window, absentmindedly chewing on the ends of her hair.
She scowled at the miserable looking reflection in the window. The bags under her eyes were a
testament to the last two sleepless nights.  Whenever she closed her eyes for more than ten seconds,
she would be assaulted with images of her sister and Stephanie rolling around on the bed. Their
hands roaming all over each other, sometimes carelessly, other times frantically…
Krystal suppressed the urge to gag and jerked her eyes opened, not sure when she had
closed them.  This was all Jessica’s fault.  How could she hide something like that?
Krystal scratched her head in frustration.  None of it made sense. Her sister was one of the
hottest girls alive. Practically every guy wanted to get with her, including, annoyingly enough, most
of the cute guys at school. Lesbians were supposed to be dumpy girls with mullets who liked to
wear plaid.
Could the Soshi dorm have forced the gayness into Jessica?  Nine girls, crammed into a tiny
apartment, changing in and out of clothes, the forced isolation from boys…it was like a prison!  But
was that enough to corrupt Jessica? There had to be more.  Something seriously sick and twisted
must have happened to Jessica, something that would make her so ashamed to not even tell her
own sister.
Krystal narrowed her eyes.  She thought back a few weeks ago when Jessica had suddenly
come home. She had never seen her sister look so miserable before. It was as if the world had
wronged her. She then remembered Stephanie’s odd behavior the next day.  It must have happened
then.  Krystal clenched her teeth.  Stephanie Hwang.  It was hard to believe that Stephanie played
for the other team.  All that fangirling and squealing over boybands had apparently been a cover for
her real desires.  The whole time, she had been using her innocent eye smiles and constant displays
of physical affection to confuse her sister.  No, this wasn’t Jessica’s fault, it was definitely all
Stephanie’s.
But didn’t Taeyeon used to live with Stephanie? Did Taeyeon know? Was she gay as well?
Krystal’s eyes widened as she suddenly imagined an apartment filled with lesbians, all teaming up
to perform corrupting acts of debauchery on her sister.
“Um, hey Krys…”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Uh, what?”
“Huh? Oh sorry, just talking out loud” she muttered distractedly, unaware that Alex Han, her
ultimate crush, had actually spoken to her.
Alex cleared his throat and shifted his feet uncomfortably.  “So, uh, the homework was
pretty tough last night, huh?” he asked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Wouldn’t know. I didn’t really do it.” Krystal said dismissively, lost in thought. She chewed
on her thumb and glowered at her desk. The more she thought about Stephanie, the angrier she
became.
“Oh! You didn’t?”  Alex’s face lit up. “You can take a look at mine before class starts!”
“I’m sorry,” Krystal replied irritably, “but I’m kind of busy right now.  Do you think we can
talk some other time?”  She leaned over and began rummaging through her bag for some paper and
a pen.  She had a few things she wanted to tell Ms. Hwang and she had no intention to go easy on
her.
“Oh…okay,” Krystal’s dreamboat said reluctantly, the disappointment clearly showing on his
face. Krystal, however, was too engrossed in her efforts to see his beautifully tragic puppy dog face
before he turned around and left.
A few seconds later she felt a hard pinch on her arm.
“Ow!” Krystal looked up and found a short girl with curly hair glaring at her. “What did you
do that for, Linda?” she protested to her friend, rubbing the red welt.
“What’s wrong with you?!” Linda demanded.
Ill Wind
149 | P a g e
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Why did you blow off Alex?”
“WHAT?!” Krystal’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. She looked to the front of the
class where she found her Adonis talking animatedly to a group of girls. Krystal turned back and
glared at her friend.  “Why did you let me do that?!”
“Me? I was at the other side of the classroom! What’s your excuse!  You’ve been pretty
spaced out the past couple of days.”
“Stupid Jessica,” Krystal grumbled menacingly, crumbling the piece of paper she was writing
on with her hand.
“Jessica unnie?” Linda asked adoringly.  “How could anything be her fault?”
Krystal rolled her eyes. There was no way Linda would understand. She wasn’t even sure
she understood it herself.  How could a girl suddenly decide to just get freaky with a friend like that?
Krystal stared at Linda thoughtfully, trying to imagine doing with her what Jessica and Stephanie
had been doing.  She instinctively shuddered, desperately trying to force away the new images.
Linda looked at her oddly. “Have you been skipping breakfast again?”
Before the conversation could go any further, the school bell rang.  Linda gave a concerned
look before heading to her seat.  Krystal sighed and looked disdainfully at the wad of paper still in
her hand before tossing it into her bag.  What was going on with her sister? And more importantly,
why couldn’t Jessica tell her about any of this?  With a sigh, she pulled out her math book and
desperately tried to focus on the lesson that had just begun.
As predicted, Krystal’s day was an absolutely miserable affair. By the time she came home
from school, she was ready to tell her parents everything.  It wasn’t worth trying to spend another
sleepless night for an ungrateful sister.  She had a few hours before training so she figured it was
plenty of time to unload on her parents.
“Mommy? Daddy?” she called out after she opened the front door.
“In the kitchen,” her mother call out.
Krystal kicked off her shoes and tossed her bag to the floor before heading over.  When she
entered, she found her mother folding dumplings at the table.
“Where’s Daddy?” she asked, sitting down across her mother.
“You know he still has work,” her mother replied, still focused on the dumplings.
“Oh.”
Mrs. Jung looked up.  “What’s wrong with you? Your face looks horrible with those bags.”
“What?” Krystal touched her cheek self-consciously. She quickly picked up a nearby spoon
and tried to look at her distorted reflection.
“Don’t worry,” her mother reassured. “It’s nothing a little sleep won’t fix. But why do you
look so bad? I don’t think I’ve even seen your unnie that tired before.”
Krystal put down the spoon and sighed. She figured it was best to be direct about it.  “Mom,
I’ve got a problem."
“Really? Well you can drink some herbal tea tonight.  That should help you sleep better.”
“No, I mean it’s Jessica.”
“Sooyeon? I already gave her a whole box of tea before she left this morning.”
“No! I mean Jessica’s my problem!”
Her mother looked at her in confusion.  “Why?”
Krystal looked down and fidgeted with the spoon. She suddenly felt extremely
uncomfortable. Taking a breath, she forged on. “I-I think unnie has a problem…”
Her mother gave a wary look. “Oh?”
“Yeah, the first night Jessica came back with Stephanie-unnie, I was walking by her room,
and they had the door open a bit—”
“Oh, it was late at night, I’m sure whatever you saw was just your imagination,” Mrs. Jung
said quickly. She began to fold more dumplings. “Come on, help me here.”
Ill Wind
150 | P a g e
“Mom, you have to listen to me!” Krystal pleaded.  “I was walking by the door and I heard
some weird noises so I took a quick look—”
“Soojung! Why were you peeping? You know we taught you better than that!”
“It wasn’t on purpose, Mom!” Krystal exclaimed in exasperation. “Will you just let me finish?
It’s important!”
“I don’t know, I think we need to have a talk about you respecting other people’s privacy.”
“Mom!  I saw them kissing!”
“What?”  Her mother’s eyes widened and she made a big show of opening and closing her
mouth like a fish.  She quickly looked down at the dumpling she was folding. “That’s ridiculous! You
were just seeing things.  They were probably just playing around.”
“No mom. This was DEFINITLEY kissing, kissing and A LOT of touching!”
A silence hung in the air before her mother finally looked back at her, a serious expression
on her face.  “Soojung, whatever you saw, forget about it, okay? It never happened.”
“But—”
“It NEVER happened.”
Krystal stared at her mother in disbelief.  How could she just brush away something so
serious?!  Krystal narrowed her eyes as she continued to watch her mother as she nervously
resumed folding the dumplings.  It was odd how she was more jittery than shocked.
“Oh my god!” Krystal gasped. “You knew!”
“What?! Don’t be ridiculous!” Mrs. Jung said in a grandly offended tone.
“You did know!” Krystal accused. “You and Daddy both knew and didn’t tell me! How could
you not tell me something like that?!”
Mrs. Jung looked at her daughter’s petulant glare and sighed. She put down the dumpling
and wiped her hands on her apron.  “Soojung,” she said in a pained voice. “We couldn’t tell you—”
“Why? Because I’m too young?! That’s always the reason!” Krystal shouted as she jumped to
her feet. “I’m never going to be old enough to understand anything, am I?  Why don’t you just let me
wear a diaper since I’m obviously a baby?!”
With that last remark, she kicked her chair out of the way and stormed out of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” her mother called out.
“Training!”
“Wait! What about dinner?”
Krystal did not bother to reply and continued her march to the front door. She exited the
house and slammed the door as hard as she could.  She scowled as she stormed down the street
towards the bus stop.  It wasn’t fair. Why was she always the last person to know?  She rubbed her
watery eyes. How could Jessica not even tell her?  Some unnie she turned out to be.
Well fine.  If Jessica didn’t want to tell her anything, then it wasn’t her responsibility to keep
her mouth shut. If so many people already knew about her and that little bitch’s perversion, then
she would make sure EVERYONE did.

“Unnie, what does ‘lesbian’ mean in Korean?”
Seohyun jumped backwards in surprise when Tiffany choked up her drink.
“WHAT!?” she exclaimed between coughs.  She looked up at Seohyun from where she sat on
the floor.
“I need to translate this article for English class,” Seohyun said, holding up a print out.  It
read, ‘Equal rights in Japan’.
“Are you sure you want to be reading that particular article?” Tiffany asked, pounding her
chest.
“My teacher assigned it. So what does it mean?”
Tiffany looked away uncomfortably.  “Um, I’m not really sure how to say in Korean.”
Ill Wind
151 | P a g e
“Oh.”  Seohyun sighed and sat down next to Tiffany.  She gave a weary smile as Tiffany laid a
comforting arm over her shoulders.
“Just relax for now, okay? We’ve been practicing non-stop since we got back from MNet.
What time is it now anyways?” Tiffany yawned and looked at her watch. “One?!” She fell
backwards onto the floor.
Seohyun grinned at her unnie’s theatrics. “I can’t,” she replied sadly.  “It’s due this Friday.”
Tiffany sat up and gave her a sympathetic smile. “Poor maknae. Okay! Well, are there any
other words I can help you with then?”
“Mmm, how about ‘saponaceous’?”
“Huh?”
“Saponaceous.”
Tiffany continued to stare blankly at her.
“Fluency in English doesn’t mean much if you have the vocabulary of a first grader,” Jessica
said as she approached the corner of the practice room where the two girls were sitting.
Tiffany glared as Jessica sat down next to her.  “Oh yeah?  Do you know what it is in Korean
then?” she challenged.
Jessica grinned.  “Of course I do.”
“Then what is it?”
Jessica moved an arm behind Tiffany and answered, “Seohyun asked you, not me.”
Seohyun watched in fascination as Tiffany’s glare melted away into a look of bewilderment
and finally into one of embarrassment. Tiffany then coughed and uncomfortably looked behind her
as her face and neck flushed.
“It’s okay,” Seohyun said with a sigh when she realized that both her unnies had no idea
what the word was. She jotted a note on the side of the article to look up both words when she got
home.  At the same time, Jessica and Tiffany abruptly stood up.
“We’re going to the bathroom,” Tiffany hurriedly called out as Jessica grabbed her by the
arm and spirited her out of the room.
Seohyun looked up in surprise and found the two already at the door. “Oh wait, unnie!  I
need to go too!” She quickly stood up and tried to follow.
She did not get far before Sunny and Yuri, who were talking nearby, ran over and
intercepted her.
“Maknae!” Yuri shouted as she grabbed hold of Seohyun’s shoulders.
“Huh? What’s wrong, unnie?” Seohyun asked, turning around.
“What? Oh! Well it’s uh, Sunny really needs to go too! She had too much cheese in her
hamburger so she’s…you know.” Yuri waved a hand in front of her nose.
“What!?” Sunny looked at her roommate in shock. A look passed between the two before
Sunny turned back to Seohyun. “Oh, uh yeah! C’mon Seohyun! Let’s go!”
Seohyun gave Sunny a perplexed look but obediently followed her tiny unnie out the room.
“Oh unnie, wait,” she called out. “The bathroom’s the other way, remember?”
“Ah, yeah,” Sunny replied awkwardly. “I just wanted to go to the one on the top floor
because it’s cleaner. Since I’ll be…um…you know…in there for a while.” Her face flushed and she
resumed walking down the hallway.
Once in the bathroom, Seohyun noticed that her unnie’s stall was oddly silent.  Not one to
really dwell on the matters though, she dismissed it as constipation.  When she finally came out and
washed her hands, she suddenly gasped out loud.
“What wrong?” Sunny asked.  It was the first sound of any kind that had come out of her
stall since she entered.
“I just remembered that Kookie-oppa still has my wallet,” Seohyun replied.
“Why does oppa have your wallet?”
Ill Wind
152 | P a g e
“Oh, at the concert before Mnet, I got a snack from the vending machine and we had to go up
on to stage, so he took my snack and wallet and made me go.”
“You should get the snack back too.”
“Can we stop by his office when you get out, unnie?”
“Why don’t you just go ahead? I’ll meet you back at the practice room, okay?”
“Are you sure, unnie?”
“Yes, definitely,” came Sunny’s somewhat impatient response.
“Okay, bye unnie,” Seohyun said, shrugging to herself.
She left bathroom and made her way over to the manager’s favorite lounge. There she
found Kookie-oppa asleep on the couch with the television tuned to a sports station.  Seohyun
spotted her wallet sitting on the coffee table and was able to procure it without waking her
manager up.
Seohyun gave a sympathetic look before she left the room. She felt bad that the managers
had to be dragged away from their families due to the girls’ odd schedules.  However, not bad
enough that she would refrain from asking oppa where her wallet was when he woke up.
Seohyun smiled to herself as she walked back to the practice room, thinking about how
outraged she should act to when her manager could not find the wallet.  The loud echo of a door
slamming startled her out of her plotting.  She blinked in surprise when she saw Krystal walking
towards her from the opposite end of the hall.
“Krystal?” Seohyun called out. “Why are you still—”
The words died in her mouth when she noticed the burning in Krystal’s eyes as she stalked
towards her.  Krystal stopped in front of Seohyun and placed her hands on her hips
confrontationally. Seohyun noticed the younger girl’s erect back, as if she were trying to make
herself appear taller.
“Krystal, are you okay?” Seohyun asked in concern.
“Where’s your slut of a roommate?!”
Seohyun took a step back in shock. “What?”
“You know what I’m talking about!” Krystal responded, taking a step forward to close the
gap again. “Where’s that slutty bitch that’s raping my sister?!”
“W-what?! Krystal! What’s going on!?” Seohyun felt her ears beginning to burn from the
choice language.
Krystal narrowed her eyes and set her teeth. “You can stop playing games now, unnie,” her
voice was deathly low.
Seohyun continued to look on in confusion, slightly intimidated by the younger girl.
“I saw them!” Krystal shouted in exasperation. “They were making out and touching each
other on the bed! Don’t play stupid with me!”
“What? Who’s them?”
“My sister and Stephanie!”
Seohyun gasped and took another step backwards. Her face drained of all color.
Krystal blinked at Seohyun’s reaction and frowned. “You…didn’t know?” she asked
hesitantly.
“What the heck is going on here?!”
Both girls turned and found Jooyoung coming from the stairs.
Krystal looked over and bowed deeply in Jooyoung’s direction. She looked back and quickly
bowed to Seohyun, giving the older girl one last uncertain look before she quickly ran down the hall
to the opposite stairwell and out of sight.
“Was that Krystal?” Jooyoung asked when he came over to Seohyun.
Seohyun silently nodded.
“What did she want?”
Ill Wind
153 | P a g e
When Jooyoung did not receive a response, he looked at Seohyun to find her still staring
down the hall.
“Juhyun?”
Seohyun blinked and looked at her manager, as if noticing him for the first time.
“Why was Krystal shouting about?” Jooyoung asked again.
“Huh? Oh! Um….I dunno…something random I think…” Seohyun muttered and looked away.
“I’ll never understand teenage girls,” Jooyoung said with a sigh. “Well you should hurry
back to the practice room. I just came from there. You’re unnies are all waiting for you, okay?
Don’t hold them up. “
Seohyun obediently nodded and left as quickly as she could without looking suspicious.  She
briskly walked down the hallways and stairs, trying desperately to get her mind into some sort of
order.
What was it that Krystal said? She saw her unnies on the bed?  When in the world was that?
Why would they even do such a thing? They both liked boys! Didn’t they? Jessica unnie?
Absolutely not, she always talked about getting married. And Tiffany unnie? She was always
talking about which bad boy or model that she wanted to date.
Seohyun felt her flesh begin to crawl, thinking of all the times she changed in front of her
unnies or shared a bed with either of them. She vigorously shook her head. She could not
automatically assume the worst. Krystal was obviously agitated and may not have been thinking
straight at the time.  Despite her assurances, Seohyun felt herself beginning to hyperventilate.
Before she knew it, she was at the door of the practice room, the sounds of laughter and
conversation on the other side.
Seohyun took a deep breath. “There’s nothing going on,” she whispered to herself. She
hesitated for another second before she opened the door.
Once inside the bright practice room, her eyes immediately scanned the space for a familiar
pair.  Jessica and Tiffany were sitting on the floor against the mirror backed walls. Jessica had her
back against the mirrors while Tiffany lay in her lap.  The older girl was gently stroking Tiffany’s
cheeks with the back of her hand while the two spoke softly and giggled, lost in their own world.
And for no other apparent reason, Seohyun knew.  It was all true.  The touching, the smiles,
the whispering, the looks, it all fell into place. A sudden rage crept up on her and she felt her entire
face heat up.
“How could you!?” Seohyun shouted from the top of her lungs. The entire room went silent
as all eyes stared at her.
Seohyun rushed over to the pair on the floor and pulled Tiffany off Jessica’s lap, leaving her
sprawled on the floor. She then knelt over and began mercilessly pounding away on Tiffany’s back
with closed fists.
“Hey!” Jessica jumped up and immediately pulled Seohyun away. “Seo Juhyun!  What the
hell is wrong with you?” she demanded.
Seohyun turned and glared at Jessica.
*SLAP!*
Half the room gasped as they watched the maknae slap Jessica.  Jessica held her cheek and
stared at Seohyun in shock. Even Tiffany, from her position on the floor, stared with a dropped jaw.
“It’s true isn’t it?!” Seohyun shouted at the top of her lungs. “You and Tiffany
unnie…are….having sex!”
This time the entire room gasped.
“Oh my god,” Sooyoung muttered with a hand to her mouth.
Tiffany finally scrambled up to her feet and took a hold of Seohyun’s hands. “Seohyun-ah—”
“Don’t touch me!” the maknae shrieked.  She quickly knocked away Tiffany’s hands. She
alternated her glare between Jessica and Tiffany. “It’s wrong! All of it!”  
Ill Wind
154 | P a g e
Tiffany pushed out her quivering jaw as she fought back to hold the tears. “You don’t mean
that,” she whispered in a shaky voice.
Seohyun turned the full force of her rage onto Tiffany. “How could you?!” she demanded
again. “That’s so disgusting!  How can I share the room with a pervert?” Seohyun closed her eyes
and shuddered before she reopened them and glared accusingly at Tiffany, “What are you thinking
every time I change? And what about when I go to bed?!  Are you staring at me?  Do you touch me?!
Are you thinking of raping me!?”
At this point, Jessica stepped between Seohyun and her visibly trembling girlfriend. “Yah! I
think you’ve said enough!”
Seohyun stared hatefully at Jessica, her fists and jaw clenching and unclenching. Jessica
coolly returned the stare.
“Sunny! Hyoyeon!” Taeyeon broke the heavy silence with loud claps. “Go find Jooyoung
oppa and get Seohyun home, now!”
Sunny nodded and ran out of the room in search of the manager while Hyoyeon quickly
went over to Seohyun and gently took the girl by the arm, trying to get her out of the room.
When Seohyun was gone and the door closed shut, Tiffany collapsed on the floor with a wail
of anguish and began to openly cry, something none of the other girls, save Taeyeon, had ever seen
before.
Jessica immediately went down and scooped Tiffany up in her arms, whispering into her ear
while rocking her and stroking her back.  
CHAPTER  18 :  DETOUR AHEAD
Yoona let out an expansive yawn, her mouth stretching out to its fullest before she belatedly
covered it with her hand.  With an embarrassed look, she said good night to Sungwoo oppa, the
manager in charge of her today. She quickly hopped out of the car and bowed deeply before
slamming the door shut.  She watched as Sungwoo oppa’s car pulled out into the street. Once it was
out of sight, she turned her eyes upward and observed the deep blue twilight paling in the skyline
signaling, along with the birds, the start of the new day.  With a sigh, she turned around and entered
the apartment building. She hauled herself slowly up the stairs, trudging her feet against the
ground. In addition to feeling light headed, her eyelids felt incredibly heavy.  All she could think
about was reaching her bed so that she could sleep for the next 3 hours until she had to get up and
go back to film. The shower could wait.
Yoona came up to the door of the apartment and fished out her keys. She paused as she
suddenly heard loud noises from the other side of the door. Her eyes opened alertly when she
realized that her unnies were awake.  Did they have an early morning schedule?  The sleepiness
instantly left her as she relished the possibility of spending some time with them. All thoughts of
her soft bed were now long gone.  Her sleep would have only been for a few hours anyway. She had
seen her unnies even less than she had been sleeping.
Reenergized, Yoona quickly unlocked the door and opened it. She found all the lights on and
Sooyoung not far down the hall, pounding on Tiffany and Seohyun’s door.
“Seohyun! Come on! You need to come out of there so we can talk!”
Yoona watched as her roommate glared at the door. After a few seconds, she resumed
pounding on the door.
“Yah! Seo Juhyun! Get your butt out of here now!”
“No!” came the muffled reply.
Sooyoung let out a sound of disgust and grabbed her hair.  By this time Yoona had removed
her shoes and tentatively made her closer.  Sooyoung took a deep breath to continue her verbal
onslaught.
“Unnie?”  Yoona spoke out before more shouting could resume. “Is everything okay?”
“Yoona!”  Sooyoung yelped in surprise. “How long were you there?”
Yoona opened her mouth to reply, but Sooyoung had already grabbed her by the arm and
pulled her into the living room.  She blinked in surprise when she saw Tiffany sitting on the floor,
curled up into a little ball with her face buried in Jessica’s chest.  Jessica had a protective arm over
Tiffany and looked at Yoona with wary eyes.
Yoona looked around the room and found herself even more puzzled.  Taeyeon was sitting
by Jessica and Tiffany, looking at the pair with a pained expression.  Yuri and Sunny were on some
cushions a few feet off to the side. Yuri was looking down at her hands in obvious agitation while
Sunny lay on her back with her arms folded.
“Yoona’s back,” Sooyoung announced. She walked past her and sat at the dinner table,
where Hyoyeon was already sitting, her arms folded, resting on the top. Much like Taeyeon,
Hyoyeon was looking at Tiffany with an equally pained expression.
Yoona looked around, hoping for an explanation, but only found averted eyes.  She looked
back at Tiffany’s pitiful form and walked over, crouching on her knees to get closer. She noticed the
look in Jessica’s eyes as one that was ready for a fight. She was too worried, however, over Tiffany’s
state to be overly concerned with the hostile eyes of Jessica.
“Unnie,” Yoona said hesitantly.  She placed a hand on Tiffany’s shoulder.  “Are you okay?”
Tiffany looked up and Yoona audibly gasped at the sight of the girl’s swollen and red eyes.
Before she had a chance to speak, Tiffany buried her face back into Jessica’s chest.
Detour Ahead
156 | P a g e
Yoona look at Jessica in confusion. “What happened?” she asked. It was pretty obvious to
her that Tiffany and Seohyun had a fight, but while the roommates had gotten mad at each other
before, things had never escalated to such an extent.  Even more shocking was the fact that Tiffany
was crying. Of course she had seen Tiffany actually shed tears, but they were either tears of joy, or
tears that were being blinked back and fought against. She had never seen her unnie cry so openly
before.
Jessica averted her eyes and Yoona looked over to Taeyeon in frustration. She was
surprised to find that even Taeyeon was looking hesitant.
“I don’t think we should tell her,” Sooyoung announced. “We don’t need another maknae
blowing up.”
“Sooyoung,” Hyoyeon warned the girl. “That’s not for you to decide.”
“Well I mean come on! It’s already been a couple of hours and even I’m still weirded out by
all of this!”
Jessica shot her a glare. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”
“Nothing!” Sooyoung quickly defended. “I’m just saying it’s still hard for me to process it all!”
“Really? Because it sounded like you were saying something else!”
Tiffany’s head snapped back up. “Quit it, alright!? She deserves to know…everyone else
does already.”
Jessica looked at Tiffany, her eyes softening. “Are you sure?”
Tiffany silently nodded and turned to face Yoona, still crouched at her side.  Yoona’s mouth
hung open as she attempted to take in the completely surreal events unfolding around her.  She
watched as her unnie shifted uncomfortably and fidgeted at her fingers.
“Yoona,” Tiffany shakily began. “Jessica and I…are…”
Tiffany faltered. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she finally exhaled, she
opened her eyes again and looked straight into Yoona’s eyes.
“Jessica…and I are…going out…romantically. I…love her.”
Yoona stared at Tiffany, her face unreadable while her mouth still hung open.  She then
looked at Jessica, who was looking at her suspiciously, before turning back.  Tiffany’s complexion
had gone even paler as her eyes began to water and her lips trembled.  Yoona closed her mouth.
And a bright smile erupted on her face.
“I know,” she said, her eyes twinkling.
“WHAT?!” came the collective shout from the seven girls.
Yoona crinkled her eyes as she gave a wide, open-mouthed smile.  “When I come home,
sometimes I’ll see Sica unnie and Fany unnie in the living room, sleeping next to each other on the
floor.” She then gave Jessica and Tiffany a worried look. “You two are going to get sick if you keep
doing that.  I always have to put blankets on you two.
“Oho!” Yuri exclaimed. “They actually do that kind of stuff in this room?”
Taeyeon looked at the cushion she was sitting on in disgust.  Jessica and Tiffany’s face
turned crimson as both girls vehemently denied the fact.
“Well, sometimes they’re facing each other,” explained Yoona. She then blushed. “But
usually Jessica unnie is hugging Tiffany unnie from behind.
“Oooooooh,” came the unified response.  All eyes turned to the blushing couple.
“I guess Yoona has a sharp eye for these things,” Sunny said.
“If I saw them spooning each other every night, I would have figured it out too!” Sooyoung
said laughing.
Yoona smiled and looked down. “Actually, I wasn’t so sure until Taeyeon unnie told me.”
“Taeyeon!” Tiffany looked at her best friend in shock and disappointment.
Taeyeon quickly held up both of her hands. “I swear I didn’t tell anyone!”
Detour Ahead
157 | P a g e
“Taeyeon unnie didn’t know she told me,” Yoona quickly clarified. “She had a nightmare one
night and just started shouting stuff like, ‘No! Sica, don’t get Fany pregnant!’ and ‘Stop doing that
you two! I just washed the couch!’”
Everyone in the room, save Jessica, Tiffany and Taeyeon, burst out in laughter. Yoona wiped
the tears from her eyes and noticed Tiffany looking at her in concern.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tiffany asked softly. The worry and doubt showed clearly in
her eyes.
“Of course!” Yoona looked at her seriously. “Why wouldn’t I? Do you know how many
actors I work with that are gay?”
“Wait! You do? Who?” Yuri asked with wide eyes. “No! Nevermind! I don’t want to know,
I’ll be crushed!”
“Besides,” Yoona continued, “don’t we have some oppas that are pretty, you know, open
about the stuff they do?”
Hyoyeon scratched her cheek in thought. “You know, that’s right. I didn’t even think about
that.  They’ve always been like that.”
“Yeah, like it’d be weirder if they started going out with girls, ya know?” Sooyoung added.
She visibly shuddered.
Yoona nodded and looked back at Tiffany. Tiffany was now staring at her with giant,
luminous eyes.
“Unnie?” she asked hesitantly.
“I love you, Yoona!” Tiffany exclaimed, tackling her to the floor with a suffocating hug.
Yoona laughed as she returned the hug. Whe she finally managed to roll Tiffany off and sit
up, she found Jessica looking at her with a grateful expression.  Yoona smiled back. Nothing more
needed to be said.
Remembering something, Yoona put on a worried look.
“Is Seohyun okay?” she asked, though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.
Immediately the entire room quieted down again. Tiffany face instantly flashed back to its
previous pitiful state.  Jessica opened her mouth to reply, but Tiffany beat her to it.
“She didn’t take it very well,” Tiffany answered quietly. She then slid herself back to
Jessica’s side and rested her head on Jessica’s shoulder as Jessica placed a protective arm around
her.  At the very least, she did not tuck herself back into the fetal position like she had been earlier
when Yoona had come in.
“How bad?” Yoona asked.
“Like slap Sica in the face bad,” Sooyoung said.
“What?!”
“Shush,” Hyoyeon said, placing her hand on Sooyoung’s arm.
“Seriously?” Yoona looked over at Jessica in shock.  Jessica studiously avoided her eyes.
“We were at practice and she just came back from the  bathroom and started yelling at Fany,”
Taeyeon explained.  “She just started going off on how Sica and Fany were sleeping together.”
“But we’re not,” Tiffany adamantly denied to Yoona.
Yoona was confused. “Then why did she think that?”
“We don’t know!” Jessica exclaimed, throwing an arm up into the air.  “But that’s basically
how everyone else found out.”
Sooyoung snorted. “Everyone else?  You mean me and Hyoyeon!”
Jessica glared. “I already explained it to you! It wasn’t on purpose!”
“So what happened after that?” Yoona asked in an attempt to head off another potential
argument.
“Nothing really,” Hyoyeon said quietly. “She didn’t say anything in the car, and we didn’t
want to ask with oppa driving.”
“And then when we got home, she just locked herself in her room,” Sunny added.
Detour Ahead
158 | P a g e
Yoona closed her mouth and frowned. Never in a million years would she have thought that
Seohyun could have been capable of such a heartless outburst.  She looked back at Tiffany’s
depressed state, a direct result of Seohyun’s actions. Yoona stood up.  It had been some time since
she had felt this much anger against the maknae.
“Where are you going?” Yuri asked.
“To talk with her.”
Before anyone else could reply, she strode purposefully into the hallway and up to the door
of Tiffany and Seohyun’s shared room.  She knocked loudly on the door.
“Go away.”
“It’s me,” Yoona replied curtly. “Open the door.”
After a moment of silence, the door clicked and opened part way. Yoona pushed it open the
rest of the way and stepped through to find Seohyun walking back towards her bed.  She closed the
door behind her while Seohyun climbed back into her bed, hugging one of her large plush frogs and
resting her chin on its head.
Yoona quietly stared as the maknae glanced at her briefly only to look away.
“I guess you heard the big news,” Seohyun said after a minute of icy silence. She stared
blankly at the wall in front of her.
Yoona sighed. “I also heard you did some really bad things.”
“Me?!” Seohyun glared at Yoona. “What about those two?!”
“Hey! What happened to being respectful to your unnies, huh?”
“How could they do that, unnie?” Seohyun demanded as she ignored the anger in Yoona’s
voice. “It’s wrong!”
“Wrong? For what? Being in love?” Yoona could feel her anger begin to boil into rage.
“But they’re girls!”
“And they love each other!” Yoona shouted back. “How can you be like that, Seo Juhyun?”
“How can they be like that?!” Seohyun stubbornly retorted, pointing at the door.
Yoona closed her eyes and forced herself to take a deep breath.  “It may be wrong for you,
but it’s right for them,” she said emphatically.  “Just because you can’t see yourself with a girl
doesn’t mean everyone else feels that way! How come you don’t say anything to the other oppas
then?”
“What?!” Seohyun shrieked. “Which oppas?!”
Yoona looked at her in disbelief before shaking her head.  “That’s not the point!”
The two girls exchanged heated glares as their eyes continued the battling.  Seconds later,
Yoona watched in satisfaction as Seohyun’s eyes finally broke away and rested on the stuffed
animal in her arms.
“Juhyun.”
Seohyun ignored Yoona and began picking at her stuffed frog.
Yoona sighed and walked over to the bed and sat down next to the sulking girl. Seohyun
shot her a dirty look before she shifted herself over to the far side of the bed.  Yoona rolled her eyes.
“Juhyun,” she repeated softly.  She looked at Seohyun worriedly.  “You can’t be like this.”
“Unnie!” the maknae protested. “Why is everyone treating me like I’m the one who did
something wrong?!  Can’t you see that it’s those two that are wrong?!”
Yoona had it. “No! I don’t see!” she exclaimed. “All I see here is a selfish little girl that’s
being disrespectful and hurting the feelings of her own unnies!”
“They’re not my unnies,” Seohyun muttered. “They’re trash.”
Yoona blinked, stunned by the hateful words. She felt her face flush as she clenched her
fists and attempted to reign in her anger.  “Did you know Tiffany unnie was crying when I came
home?” She spoke the words in a low and dangerous tone.
Seohyun snapped her head in shock and looked at Yoona in disbelief.  She quickly recovered
and looked away. “So? What makes you think I care?” she said a bit unsteadily.
Detour Ahead
159 | P a g e
“Seo Juhyun, you should be ashamed of yourself. Grow up.”
With those final words, Yoona stood up and walked out of the room, not trusting herself to
speak anymore.

Krystal tossed in her bed.  In her mind, all she could see was the stunned look on Juhyun’s
face. She kicked off the sheets in frustration as the feeling of guilt continued to build up within her.
It couldn’t have been helped, she told herself.  She ran a hand through her hair.  It may not have
been the best way for Juhyun to find out, but it was better than living in ignorance. It wasn’t fair to
Juhyun, it wasn’t fair to her. Jessica had brought this all upon herself.
No. Krystal immediately rid herself of those thoughts. Jessica was still her sister. None of
this would have ever happened if Tiffany was not around. With a sudden burst of insight, she
swung her legs over and sat up. If she could get Jessica away from Tiffany, she would still have a
chance to save her sister. She fumbled her hands over the nightstand until she found her cell phone.
She squinted as the display lit up her face and she began punching in her message.
“Oppa, can I talk to you tomorrow? It’s about unnie.”

Jessica sat crossed legged in her bed, combing her hair as she tried to release the stress of
the past few hours.  While Yoona helped calm things down considerably, there was still the volatile
maknae that needed to be reasoned with. Jessica frowned. She still could not figure out how
Seohyun managed to find out about her and Tiffany.  Someone must have told her, but Jessica could
not imagine anyone that she knew spilling the secret. That could only mean that there was
unknown person out there who knew about her relationship with Tiffany, and that thought
troubled her greatly.
The door to her room opened and thoughts of shadowy figures holding closely guarded
secrets immediately evaporated.  Tiffany had entered the room and was once again wearing the
familiar worn out grey shirt and nearly sheer white pajama pants. The girl in the tattered pajamas
closed the door and gave Jessica a smile, albeit an exhausted one. She then walked up to Hyoyeon’s
empty bed.
“I feel bad that Hyo’s sleeping in the living room,” she said guiltily.
“It’s okay,” Jessica reassured. “She thought it was best to let you sleep in a bed. It’s been a
pretty miserable day for you.”
“But we could just share like last time.”
Jessica laughed. “Can you blame her? I think she’s still kinda shocked about everything.
Besides,” she added with a grin, “I think she’s afraid of what we’re going to do.”
“But we don’t do stuff like that!” Tiffany protested. “Well, not that much, anyways.”
“Oh?” Jessica grin turned into a naughty smile. “Are you suggesting we have a little fun,
then? We wouldn’t want to disappoint Hyoyeon’s expectations after all.”
Tiffany let out a laugh. “You perv! If you wanted some action, you really chose the wrong
day for it, cause I’m so not in the mood.”
“We’ll see what tune you sing later,” Jessica responded archly. She soundly patted the
empty bed next to her. “Now come on, get in! You had a pretty rough day.”
“Alright, alright.” Tiffany complied and climbed on top of the bed. She then looked at
Jessica with a mixture of wryness and depression. “It’s not like you had it easy either. You were the
one that got slapped.”
Jessica gave a cavalier shrug. “What can I say? I’m a tough girl.”
“Wow, what a liar,” Tiffany said with a smile before she threw a pillow at Jessica’s face.   
Detour Ahead
160 | P a g e
Jessica caught the pillow and gave Tiffany a thoughtful look. “Well, I guess I’m not in as
much shock as you are since it was all kinda like this when my parents first found out.”
She then gave Tiffany an appraising look. “Besides, how can I feel so bad when you come
into my room looking like THAT.” She leaned in and gave a cheeky smile. “The first time I saw you
in those, I nearly lost control of myself.”
“Really?” Tiffany giggled and leaned in to brush her lips against Jessica’s. “Then how about
now?”
“Mm, not so much,” she said dismissively, giving Tiffany a quick peck on the lips before
pulling away.
Tiffany pouted. “What? How come?”
“Well the last time, I could see you wearing your lovely lingerie underneath.” Jessica
grinned and raised her eyebrows suggestively.
“You’re horrible!” Tiffany shrieked pushing Jessica over.
“I know,” Jessica said smugly as she righted herself. “We better get to bed soon, though.
Everyone’s gonna get the wrong idea if we keep screaming like this.”
Jessica reached over and turned off the light by her bed. When she turned back, she
suddenly found Tiffany lying next to her in her bed.
“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a bit of a bed hog?”
“Har, har,” Tiffany responded. She then lowered her voice. “I just, don’t feel like sleeping
alone tonight.”
Jessica chose not to point out the fact that sleeping in Hyoyeon’s bed was not quite sleeping
alone. Instead, she reached out to stroke Tiffany’s hair.  She could not make out her girlfriend’s face,
but she didn’t need to.
“Alright then,” she said softly, sliding into the covers. “Turn around and scootch over a bit. I
don’t want you knocking me to the floor in the middle of the night.”
“You’re never going to let that go huh? It was only once!”
“Fine, fine. Now, turn around!” she demanded. “I wanna snuggle.”
Jessica could only guess the kind of look Tiffany was giving her in the dark, but her
girlfriend complied and turned around, giving her more space on the now crowded bed. Jessica
happily pressed her body against Tiffany’s back and draped an arm across.
“Much better,” Jessica said, pressing her lips against the Tiffany’s neck.
“Mmhm,” came the sleepy sigh.
Jessica frowned. She did not like the sound of that slightly depressed sigh.  She pressed
herself closer to Tiffany.
“Oh? What’s this?” she asked. “Looks like Taeyeon was right.”
Tiffany twisted her neck to look behind her. “Huh? About what?”
“She said you had a sexy bum!” With that Jessica used her other hand to give Tiffany a firm,
whole-handed pinch to the rear.
Tiffany let out a yelp and reached over to smack Jessica soundly on the thigh. “Stop it!” she
exclaimed while laughing.
Jessica smiled and nuzzled her nose into Tiffany’s neck. “Yes ma’am.”
“Jess?”
“Hmm?”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For cheering me up.”
“Really? I just wanted to grab your tushie. If that cheers you up, so much the better. I’ll be
sure to keep that in mind.”
Tiffany chuckled softly. The room soon fell silent and Jessica could feel herself being lulled
to sleep by Tiffany’s light breaths as her chest rose and fell.
Detour Ahead
161 | P a g e
“Jess?”
“Hmm?” Jessica muttered.  Tiffany’s voice had pulled her away from the edge consciousness.
“Um, why do I feel something hard against my butt?”
“What?” Jessica reached down and felt at her pocket. “Oh, that’s my cell phone. Sorry, I
forgot to take it out.”
When Tiffany’s question finally processed through her sleep-addled mind, she sat up and
began to laugh. “What in the world did you think it was?”
“I don’t know,” Tiffany muttered in embarrassment.
“Now who’s the perv?!” Jessica reached over and began tickling Tiffany mercilessly.
The girls continued to horse around for the next few minutes, with Tiffany providing much
of the noise that, no doubt, everyone in the apartment could hear. Jessica was pretty certain that
plenty of wrong ideas were being formed at the moment.
The two eventually calmed down and returned to the bed facing each other. Jessica ran her
hand through the length of Tiffany’s hair before gently tracing out her jaw line. She could finally
make out Tiffany’s face in the dark, letting her fingers trail upwards across Tiffany’s pouty lips and
rest on the girl’s button nose.  She then found herself gazing into a pair of worried eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Jessica looked at her in concern.
“Is Seohyun going to be okay?” Tiffany asked softly.
“Don’t worry,” Jessica said reassuringly. She leaned in and kissed Tiffany on the forehead.
“Everything is going to be fine, trust me.  Now go to sleep.”
C HAPTER 19 :  SOMETHING’S GOTTA GI VE
Anna sighed as she rested her weary body on a couch in one of the lounges with her meal.
Well, meal may have been too strong of a word as it consisted of a single health bar and a small fruit
drink. She would have preferred to have gone out and tried the new vegetarian restaurant across
town, but she did not want to leave the building. She was already on thin ice as it was.
How was she supposed to know that her mani and pedi would run late?  Besides, it wasn’t
her fault that the stupid Oppa Nappa filming had ended early!  Had everything gone to plan, she
would have been back to get the girls with plenty of time to spare.
Anna took an angry bite out of her snack.  For an entire month, she had been on her best
behavior.  She could not afford anymore slip ups.  Not only did she have to make sure she was at the
beck and call of the other managers, she had to suck up to all the bratty idols as well. She was even
forced to chauffer Jessica Jung, one of the few people who could truly get under her skin, all around
Seoul to look for some stupid rings.
“Um, Anna unnie?”
Anna looked up from her health bar and found herself looking at a young trainee.  The girl
looked vaguely familiar, but she could not put her finger on why.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Well, you don’t really know me,” the girl began. She fidgeted nervously with her hands and
feet. “But I’m Jessica Jung’s little sister, Krystal.”
Anna resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Great,” she thought, “another Jung.”
She then forced a pleasant smile. “So what’s going on, Krystal?”
Krystal seemed to hesitate for a moment, looking around the room and through the door
where she had come from before turning back to face Anna.  The girl had on a worried expression.
“I have something to tell you…about unnie and Stephanie.”
“Stephanie?”
“You know, Tiffany?”
“Oh?” Anna raised an eyebrow as she tried to remain patient. She was pretty sure that
being a trainee’s emotional counselor was not in her job description.  But knowing her luck, if she
steered the girl away, the little brat would tell her big sister, who would in turn probably tell
Jooyoung. Then Jooyoung would find a way to make it look like it was her job to emotionally
nurture pubescent girls.
“They’re lesbians.”
Anna choked violently on her food. She coughed and pounded at her chest furiously, before
reaching over and consuming nearly half the contents of her drink.  She looked at Krystal with
wide-eyed shock, her face still flush from the coughing.
“They’re WHAT?”
“You know,” Krystal said double checking the open door. She leaned towards Anna and
whispered, “Girl lovers.”
“I’m well aware of the definition,” Anna said, fixing her a look. “What I mean is, are you
kidding?!”
“I’m not!” Krystal protested.  “Stephanie stayed over at our place and I saw them…doing
stuff together.” She blushed and looked away.
Anna blinked her eyes in disbelief. She quickly peered behind the girl and around the room,
trying to find Jessica’s hiding place or a hidden camera.
“Why are you telling me this?” she asked suspiciously. “The girls have a bunch of other
managers. I’m only an assistant manager, you know.” She hated how the words tasted in her
mouth.
Something’s Gotta Give
163 | P a g e
“I tried!” Krystal asserted. “I talked to Sungwoo oppa, Jooyoung oppa, AND Kookie oppa!
But they all just got mad at me for bugging them. They said that Korean girls don’t do that kind of
stuff.”
Anna snorted. Typical.
Krystal continued, looking down at her hands. “And then I remembered unnie com—uh,
talking about getting you as a new manager.”
“So, you’ve spent the whole day trying to tattle on your sister?” Anna looked at Krystal in
mild surprise. She would not have suspected the young girl as the type to try and succeed at all
costs. “You do know that you’re going to be put in group soon, right?”
“No! That’s not it!” Krystal vehemently denied. “I want to save my unnie! She’s being
manipulated! You have to get rid of Stephanie, she’s the real lesbian!”
Anna checked the room again for a hidden camera. “Seriously?”
“I mean it, unnie! I want my sister back!”
“What in the world do you want me to do?” she asked, looking at the desperate girl in
confusion.
“I don’t know! Tell the president or whoever that Stephanie is going to make everyone gay!”
Anna raised a doubtful eyebrow.
Undeterred, Krystal pressed on. “Please help me, unnie? Please?”
Anna was at a loss for words as she witnessed the hopeful eyes of the young girl and her
determined set of the jaw.
“Uh, sure,” she managed to say after some time.
“Thanks,” Krystal said, sighing in relief. She then leaned in. “Actually, do you know if my
sister is here?” she asked earnestly.
“Uh, yeah,” Anna said, as she struggled to regain control of her mental faculties. “They just
got back from a performance and they’re all practicing right now.”
“Thanks!” And without any warning or even the hint of a bow, Krystal took off, leaving Anna
to stare at the empty door.
“Wow,” Anna said, letting out a large breath as she collapsed back against the couch and
attempted to process the completely surreal turn of events.  With Krystal gone from the room as
suddenly as she had appeared, she was tempted to think that she had dreamed the entire thing.
Jessica and Tiffany?  Getting it on with each other? Anna wanted to laugh at the insanity of
it all. And if that was not crazy enough, Jessica’s own sister was demanding that she somehow save
Jessica from Tiffany’s homosexual ways.
What did Krystal think she could do? She couldn’t just walk up to the two girls and say,
“Yeah, Tiffany? You really need to stop touching Jessica, kapeesh?” Somehow she did not if think
that would stop Tiffany from jumping Jessica on a nightly basis. Anna shuddered at the mental
images being conjured up.
Disgusted, she pushed the images away and forced her thoughts back to her brewing
predicament.  What made matters even more confusing was that she was still not certain if this was
all some elaborate prank.  Anna pursed her lips. The more she thought about it, the more she
wanted to believe Krystal’s wild tale. There was really no reason she could think of that would
make anyone play that kind of joke.  Krystal seemed pretty convinced at what she was saying.
Besides, being outed in Korea was a serious deal, and even if just a rumor like that got out into the
mainstream press, it would be devastating to an idol, not to mention a headache for the idol’s
company.
Anna abruptly sat up on the couch. The very beginnings of an idea were starting to take
shape.  This could be just the very thing she needed to get back into the good graces of management,
and possibly much, much more. She smiled.  Things were starting to look up.

Something’s Gotta Give
164 | P a g e
“I’m pretty sure touching yourself doesn’t qualify you as gay.”
Jessica sighed as she answered yet another question from her inquisitive adopted family.
She was sitting down at the corner of the practice room, leaning against one of the walls while
Sooyoung, Sunny, and Yuri sat in a semicircle facing her.
“Like a pack attack,” Jessica thought bitterly. She exchanged a wry look with Tiffany, who
was practicing dance moves with Hyoyeon and Taeyeon in front of the mirrors that lined along the
adjacent wall.
“If you say so,” Sooyoung said with a troubled expression.
“I’ve been saying so for the past five minutes!”
“So who’s the man?” Yuri asked with a broad smile.
Jessica groaned let her head fall back against the wall with a thud.
“Jess’ mom asked me that too,” Tiffany said with a frown as she recalled the awkward
experience. She and the other girls had momentarily stopped practicing and approached the chatty
group. “Well, actually she asked me if I was the butch one.”
Everyone but Jessica and Tiffany burst out into laughter.
“That’s easy,” Sunny said. “Its—”
She alternated looks between Jessica and Tiffany before giving a sheepish smile. “So, uh,
who is it, then?” she asked, admitting defeat.
“Hey!  How come there has to be a man?” Tiffany countered. “We both don’t like men, so
why would we want either of us to be one!”
Sunny, Sooyoung, and Yuri exchanged glances. “She’s the man,” they said simultaneously.
“I’m going back to practice,” Tiffany huffed in offense. She walked back to center of the
mirrors while Taeyeon and Hyoyeon followed, both girls giggling.  Tiffany glared at the two.
“What?” Taeyeon said between chuckles. “You have to admit, you’ve got the hair for the
role.”
“It’s growing out now!” Tiffany protested. “Besides,” she grumbled, “you’re not one to talk.”
“Hey!”
“C’mon Fany,” Hyoyeon said quickly. “You said you wanted to practice, right?  Start from the
beginning, you still need a lot of practice.”
Tiffany groaned, but complied with Hyoyeon’s request and began the complex routine.
“So what do you use?” Sooyoung asked loudly, continuing with her inquisition of all things
homosexual.
“Use?” Jessica gave a puzzled look.
“Use,” Sooyoung repeated. “Instead of, ya know, when you’re doing it? Your fingers?”
Tiffany stumbled over her feet and landed soundly on her bottom. Jessica quickly stood up
in concern, but Tiffany popped back onto her feet with a furious blush on her face.
“I’m okay,” she reassured, waving Jessica off.
Jessica glared at Sooyoung, who was still sitting on the floor, looking at her and waiting for
answer.
“I told you guys already! We’re not doing any of that!”
“Really? Because last night I heard some serious screaming,” Yuri said grinning.
“So did I!” Sunny chirped.
“Laughing! It was laughing! We were fooling around!”
Yuri and Sunny’s grins expanded.
Jessica blushed at her poor choice of words. “You know what I mean!” she said irritably.
The entire room burst out into laughter again as Jessica pouted and walked a few paces
away from the girls and sat back down.
“Alright,” Taeyeon said, once the laughter subsided. “I don’t think we’re going to get much
practice done.” She walked over to a nearby table and lifted a heavy plastic bag. “Dinner break!”
she announced happily, setting the bag on the floor and pulling the contents out.
Something’s Gotta Give
165 | P a g e
“Didn’t we already have dinner?” Hyoyeon asked.
“That was hours ago!” Sooyoung chimed in. “Plus, it was so tiny, so it didn’t count!”
“One of these days, I’d like to see you get by with only four meals,” Jessica snapped, still
surly.
“Hey!  I burned a lot of calories during the day, so I need to eat!  I’m not like you.  I don’t go
burning them in bed.”
“What did you say?” Jessica growled. She glowered at Sooyoung, ready for a fight.
Taeyeon quickly took a step towards the arguing pair, the disposable plates still in her
hands, ready to diffuse Jessica’s irritable state. But surprisingly, it was Tiffany who acted first.  The
short haired girl walked over to where her girlfriend sat. She approached from behind and got
down on her knees, leaning over Jessica and draping her arms around the girl’s neck. She then
rested her cheek atop Jessica’s soft hair.
“Je-ssi-ca,” Tiffany began in a singsong voice. “We didn’t get any drinks with the meal. Can
you get me some from the vending machines?”
Still quite irritable, Jessica turned around to look at Tiffany. Tiffany lifted her head from its
resting position and lowered it to meet Jessica’s eyes, pushing out her lower lip and tilting her head.
After a slight hesitation, the crabby girl grumbled and pushed herself up. Tiffany smiled and stood
up with her, her arms still wrapped around Jessica’s neck.  After one last eye smile, she removed her
arms and gave Jessica’s tushie a playful tap before skipping over to Taeyeon to help her finish laying
out the rest of the food they had bought.
Jessica looked over to everyone else. “I’m going to need some help,” she said, all signs of
irritation now gone.
The girls all exchanged startled looks. Never before had they seen Jessica acquiesce so
readily. They would not have believed it had they not just witnessed the alarming amount of
control Tiffany held over the ice princess. It was slightly terrifying.
Sunny looked at Sooyoung. “You know, maybe Fany is the girl.”
“I’m so confused now!” Sooyoung said, scratching her head.
“Well?” Jessica asked again.
Yuri burst out with laughter and quickly stood up. “I’ll go with you, Sica.”
“Not me,” Sunny said, collapsing on the floor. “You go, Sooyoung.”
Sooyoung sighed. “Fine, but you guys better not start eating until we’re back!”
“Oh wait,” Hyoyeon said, following the girls out the door. “I better get Seohyun.”
“Is she still upstairs sulking?” Sooyoung asked.
“Yeah,” Tiffany said in a depressed tone. “When we got back from the performance, she just
went straight for the lounge. She didn’t even say anything.”
The room went quiet as none of the girls could think of anything else that could be said. The
four girls stepped out of the room, leaving Sunny, Taeyeon, and Tiffany to finish setting up.
Taeyeon walked over to Tiffany, who was setting plates in a circle on the floor with a glum
expression.
“Fany ah,” she called out to the girl. “Just give it time, okay? She’ll feel better. Who knows?
Maybe she won’t be as grumpy after eating all this food.”
Tiffany smiled. “Maybe,” she said.
Taeyeon patted the girl affectionately on the behind before walking over to the tiny girl still
lying on the floor.  She nudged Sunny with her foot.
“Yah, c’mon lazy! Help us set up,” she said as she continued to poke Sunny in various places
with her foot.
“Alright, alright,” Sunny said, swatting at the foot. “Just stop kicking me with your dirty
shoe!”
Sunny pulled herself up and walked over to help. She began pulling out the utensils from
the bag when the door to the practice room reopened.
Something’s Gotta Give
166 | P a g e
“Oh? That was pretty fast,” she noted, looking up at the door.
But instead of finding the other girls, standing at the doorway was Krystal.
“Oh!  Hey, Krystal!” Sunny greeted in surprise.
“Krystal!” Tiffany shouted, hopping towards the girl. “What are you doing here? Long
practice day too?”
“Hi, Krystal!” Taeyeon said, following behind Tiffany.
“You!” Krystal shouted, pointing a hostile finger at Tiffany before she could get any closer.
“Huh?” Tiffany took a startled step backwards, colliding with Taeyeon.
“Don’t ‘huh’ me!” Krystal said viciously. “Stay away from my sister, you freak!”
The three older girls gasped and stared in wide-eye shock at the youngest Jung.
“Krystal,” Taeyeon hesitantly began, “did you talk to Seohyun last night?”
Krystal immediately replied. “Of course I did! And she was supposed to tell your slutty
friend that I’m on to her little games!”
Tiffany could feel the blood drain from her face as she bore the full force of the malice
radiating from the young girl’s eyes. “Krystal,” she croaked as her throat went dry. She could feel
her knees begin to tremble. “Calm down, okay? I-It’s not what you think.”
“Yeah,” Sunny quickly added. “It’s all just a misunderstanding. Besides, Seohyun didn’t say
anything about talking to you last night.”
“I don’t care what she said or didn’t say!” The young girl then quickly closed the gap
between Tiffany and glared. “I just want you to stop treating my sister like your sex toy!”
Tiffany immediately waved both her hands in protest. “What?! No!  I swear we’re not doing
anything like that!”
“Stop lying! I saw you two with my own eyes! You must be some kind of sicko to be doing
that kind of stuff to another girl!”
“Calm down, Krystal,” Taeyeon pleaded. She placed a hand on the back of the raging girl
while Sunny stood off to the side awkwardly.
Krystal shook Taeyeon’s hand off. “Why should I?” she demanded.  Again, she pointed at
Tiffany threateningly. “If you ever get near my sister again, I’m going to tear you out of your group
myself!”
“Krystal, please!” Tiffany begged. “Let’s just talk about it, okay?”
“Talk about what!? All you need to do is shut up and leave Korea!”
“Krystal,” Tiffany implored. “We love each other!”
The young girl took a step back and gasped before she regained her composure.
“You bitch,” she said hatefully. “You are so messed up! My sister was totally straight and
normal before she ever met you! You did this!”
“Your sister was always like this,” Tiffany said softly. She looked at the girl in pity.
“Shut up!” the raging girl shouted, covering her ears with her hands. “I’m not listening to
your lies! I’m going to tell everyone what a messed up pervert you are!”
“Like hell you are!”
Krystal spun around and found her sister standing in the doorway, seething in rage.  Jessica
was cradling a few cans in one arm while her other hand trembled as it clenched a can so tight that
its knuckles had turned white. Behind her, Sooyoung and Yuri were looking over, their mouths
hanging open.
“U-unnie!” Krystal spluttered.
“It was YOU?!” Jessica shouted as she entered the room. “You told Seohyun?!”
“Unnie, I just wanted to protect—”
“Answer me!”
Krystal jumped back in fear. “Y-yes,” she muttered, holding her head down.
“Get out,” Jessica whispered in rage.
Something’s Gotta Give
167 | P a g e
Krystal snapped her head up. The tears were showing in her eyes. “Unnie, I was only trying
to help! You have to listen to me, Stephanie is tricking you! What you’re doing is wrong!”
“Out! Now!” Jessica said, pointing at the door.
Krystal yelped in surprise and took a step forward. She then stopped and turned around,
shooting a vicious glare at Tiffany. “I hate you,” she spat out through gritted teeth. She then turned
back and ran out the door, pushing past Yuri and Sooyoung.
Jessica hurried over to Tiffany’s side. “Are you okay?” she asked, concerned. She dropped
all the drinks she had to the floor and placed a hand comfortingly on her girlfriend’s pale face.
Tiffany silently nodded and glanced at the door where Krystal had exited and Yuri and
Sooyoung were now entering. She looked back at Jessica and asked, “Is it okay to leave Krystal like
that?”
“She’ll be fine,” Jessica reassured, gently stroking Tiffany’s cheek. “She doesn’t deserve any
sympathy. I’m more worried about you right now.”
“I’m fine.” Tiffany said with a forced smile. She blinked furiously to hold back her tears.
None of it went unnoticed by Jessica.
“I am so sorry,” Jessica whispered. She could feel her own tears begin to fall.
At that moment, Hyoyeon entered the room with Seohyun in tow. The maknae noticed the
two girls in close contact with one another and rolled her eyes, making a sound of disgust before
she walked over to the opposite side of the room.
“What happened?” Hyoyeon asked, looking at Sunny.
“Krystal just came in and started yelling at Fany,” the short girl explained. “Looks like she
was the one who told Seohyun.”
Yuri walked over to where Seohyun sat on the floor, her back facing everyone else.
“Seohyun, is that what happened last night?” Yuri asked gently.
Seohyun glanced up.  “Yeah,” she muttered before looking away again.
“Hey guys!”
Everyone turned their heads towards the door at the sound of the energetic voice.
Anna walked in, closing the door, and smiled brightly as the girls around her looked away
uncomfortably. Unfazed, she pressed on. “Man, what’s with the mood here? Did somebody die?”
She looked over to where Jessica and Tiffany stood and noticed the two girls awkwardly
standing apart from each other, yet still close together. With a smirk, she walked up to them and
looked at Jessica.
“Hey Jess!”
Jessica frowned. “Don’t call me Jess.”
“Why? Everyone else does.”
“No,” Jessica insisted with a glare, “they don’t.”
Anna gave her a funny look and shrugged her shoulders. “Okay, whatever you say.”  She
then glanced down at Jessica’s fingers. “Ooh! That’s a pretty ring! Is that the one you had me take
you around to look for?”
“Uh, yeah,” Jessica said, slightly confused at the random change in subject.
Anna put a finger to her lips and glanced at Tiffany’s hands. “Huh, it kinda looks like Fany’s,
doesn’t it?” She then looked at Jessica, whose eyes shifted away uncomfortably, and laughed. “But
then that wouldn’t make any sense right? Why in the world would she be wearing one of your
couple rings?”
“Heh, yeah,” Jessica replied with weak laughter. “Actually, can you give us some privacy
here?”
“Why?” Anna responded with an innocent tilt of the head. “Does it have to do with Krystal
running out the room?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Jessica responded, her eyes hardening.
“How come? Did she yell at you and your girlfriend?”
Something’s Gotta Give
168 | P a g e
The room filled with silence as everyone looked at Anna in shock. Anna took a moment to
savor the sight of the stunned expressions.
“Your little sister came to me,” she said with a wicked grin. “She was VERY concerned about
what you and Tiffany were doing behind closed doors.”
Tiffany and Jessica exchanged uneasy glances.
“It’s okay,” Anna continued with a smile. “Your secret’s safe with me. For now.”
“Figures,” Jessica said with a roll of her eyes when she had finally regained her composure.
Tiffany, on the other hand, was still out of sorts.
Anna dropped her smile and shot Jessica a look. “I’d control that mouth if I were you,” she
said menacingly. “You wouldn’t want people to find out about your little fling with Tiffany here,
right?”
“Is that a threat?” Jessica challenged.
“Why, I do believe it was, Jessica! Very good!” She turned and looked at the girls in the
room. “I want you all to listen well. I’m tired of all your annoying requests and your little snide
remarks. From now on, things are going to be a bit different now. I expect your full respect and
obedience. When I tell you to jump, you ask me, ‘how high?’  Got it?”
“So you’re making us your slaves?” Sooyoung asked angrily.
“Hardly! I’m making you into obedient little idols that listen to their manager.”
“We already have managers,” Taeyeon retorted. “And the last time I checked, you weren’t
one of them.”
Anna smiled and held up a finger. “Ahh, but that’s where you’re wrong!”  She turned back to
Jessica and Tiffany. “You see, thanks to your little escapade after the Oppa Nappa video shoot, I got
into a good deal of trouble.”
“We had nothing to do with you being late!” Tiffany shouted. Flecks of spittle shot out and
her jaw clenched in hatred.
Anna wiped at the moisture below her eyes with a finger. “Anyways,” she said. “Because of
that, my reevaluation has been bumped up. That means the other managers are going to interview
you all to ask you how I’ve been doing. I expect you guys to help me out by praising my wondrous
managerial abilities to them as well as to anyone else you happen to see.”
“Are you insane!” Jessica said in outrage. “You were horrible!”
Anna glared. “Really? Well then, I guess I could always get the praise through other means.
Like being the woman who saved the company from embarrassment and a lot of money by getting
rid of the two closet homos from their big money girl band.”
Anna smiled as the girls stared at her in stunned silence.
“They won’t believe you!” Tiffany finally said, though her voice lacked any real conviction.
“No one will!”
Anna laughed. “Won’t they? All I need to do is send an anonymous email to one or two
reporters, not to mention post a few messages in a couple of forums.” She gave Tiffany a haughty
look.  “Boy, if you guys thought you got bad press before, you can’t imagine the kind of attention
that’s going to come once this thing gets out. Everyone’s going to be talking about it. And I mean
EVERYONE.”
Tiffany could do nothing else but continue to glare.
Anna looked around the room once more before speaking up again. “Well, I’ll give you guys
a few minutes to sort things out. After all, a good manager doesn’t want to overwhelm her charges.
Maybe you can figure out a couple of nice things to say to me the next time you’re on the radio.”
With that, Anna confidently stepped out of the room and closed the door.
“This is bad,” Sooyoung said, as she and the others stared at the closed door.
“Oh my god,” Tiffany muttered.
Jessica looked over. “Don’t worry. People like that always get what’s coming to them.”
Something’s Gotta Give
169 | P a g e
“Oh my god,” Tiffany repeated. She bent over and placed her hands on her knees as she
began to hyperventilate. “She’s going to tell everyone!”
Jessica gently rubbed her back. “No she won’t Fany, calm down, okay?”
Tiffany lifted her head and looked at Jessica with wild eyes. “I haven’t even told my family
yet!”
Jessica rubbed Tiffany’s back more vigorously. “I told you, don’t worry.”
Tiffany shook Jessica’s hand off of her and straightened out. She was completely in the
throes of panic now. “No! It’ won’t be okay, Jess! I’m not a baby!  I know when things are bad!
Anna’s gonna tell everyone and then my family’s gonna find out! This is going to be horrible!”
“Will that really be such a bad thing?” Jessica asked softly.
Tiffany looked at her in confusion.
“I mean, why don’t we just tell them…your family.”
“Are you crazy?! My dad would go insane! I can’t tell him!”
“You’re going to have to tell him eventually,” Jessica reasoned.
“Over my dead body!”
Jessica was taken aback by the force of Tiffany’s response. Tiffany, however, did not notice
and continued. “Well, maybe I will, when I’m like, 50, and there’s nothing he can do about it!  Or
when my brother and sister all get married and have, like, a bunch of kids! Then MAYBE he might
not care!”
“Is our relationship that embarrassing to you?” Jessica asked sadly.
Tiffany looked at her and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “No!  It’s just…I just
can’t tell them!”
“But if we do, then it’s no big deal, right?” Jessica pressed. “That way we can just tell
everyone else that it’s only a rumor and they’ll think Anna is crazy! It’s our word against hers!”
“Jess, you don’t understand!  I just can’t tell them! Not right now…I’m not ready, okay?” She
looked at Jessica with pleading eyes. “So let’s just drop it and focus on a plan that can actually work!”
Jessica frowned. “Well excuse me, but I thought that’s what I was doing! I didn’t realize it
was shameful to be seen with me!”
“Don’t you dare twist my words! I just don’t want my family to know and I sure as hell don’t
want other people to be whispering rumors and posting crap online!”
“Well excuse me!” Jessica shot back. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I knew you were going
to go crazy over something so rational!”
Tiffany narrowed her eyes. “Oh, so I’m crazy now?!”
“No! You know that wasn’t what I meant! Now who’s twisting whose words!”
“Okay, enough!” Hyoyeon shouted, quickly stepping between the feuding couple. Taeyeon
quickly pulled Jessica away, while Sunny did the same with Tiffany.
Hyoyeon looked at Tiffany. “Fany,” she said. “Jessica’s idea does sound really good. Are you
sure you don’t want to think about it some more?”
Tiffany looked away. “No,” she whispered.
“Are you that ashamed of what we have?” Jessica asked sadly. “Who cares what Anna says?
Who cares what other people say?! We’ve beat rumors before! Why can’t we beat this one?”
“I can’t risk it,” Tiffany said hoarsely, her voice choking up. “Not this time. I don’t want to
risk the group either. You all mean so much to me…”
“Then stop what you’re doing! This is all your fault!” Seohyun shouted at the two girls.
There were tears in the maknae’s eyes. “Can’t you see we’re being punished because of what you
two are doing!?”
“Juhyun!” Yuri barked at Seohyun. She pulled the younger girl to an even farther part of the
room.
“C’mon Fany,” Jessica pleaded.
Something’s Gotta Give
170 | P a g e
“I told you no! I don’t want people calling me a freak or a lesbian!” Tiffany shouted. “You
may be used to it, but I’m not!”
Jessica’s eyes hardened. “Well then, I wouldn’t want to trouble you! I don’t think I want to
go out, much less be in the same group, as a girl who can’t even admit who she really is!”
“Yah, Sica,” Taeyeon said softly. She put a restraining hand on Jessica shoulder.
Tiffany looked at her with hurt eyes. “Fine then!” she said. Her lips trembled as her eyes
began to water. “No one’s stopping you! Go ahead and leave the group! Leave me!”
At that point the door opened and Anna returned.
“My, my,” she said. “What a spirited conversation we’re having! All I could hear was a lot of
noise from the other side! So have you all had a chance to sort things out?”
Jessica glared at her. “Up yours!” she shouted. “I’m not doing any favors for you!”
“Really? Well then, I guess I’ll just start emailing the reporters and your managers.”
“I could care less!” Jessica shouted as she marched past Anna towards the door, collecting
her bag along the way. “I’d rather quit than be your little slave!”
“Even better!” Anna called out to Jessica retreating back. “In fact, I’ll go talk to the legal
department and see about getting you out of your contract! I’m sure they’ll be in complete
agreement when I explain everything to them and the president!”
Anna looked back at the girls. “You guys might want to start practicing your routines as an
eight member group.”
She turned around and left the room, leaving behind seven stunned girls.  
CHAPTER 20 : IF I SHOULD LOSE Y OU
Krystal trudged her way past the row of stores.  She could barely keep her eyes open as she
pushed her way past the crowd of weekend shoppers.  Judging from the startled looks passersby
were giving her, she probably looked as miserable as she felt.  At the moment, she honestly did not
care what all those strangers thought. All she cared about was wallowing in her own stagnant pool
of self-pity.  Her sister hated her. That was all that mattered.  She had spent the entire night tossing
and turning in her bed as her anguish consumed her, occasionally breaking down into tears just for
extra measure.  Even now, she could see the hate-filled look her sister had given her and could hear
her high pitched voice screaming at her to get out.
She took a deep breath to fight back the flooding pain. All she wanted to do was help her
unnie, but somehow, it had ended up like this. She needed a chance to explain herself. She kept
track of her sister’s schedule and knew that Jessica had filming in the afternoon. That meant that
she could most likely catch her sister practicing at the studio around noon.  She couldn’t stand
waiting in her room, so she decided to kill time, and possibly procrastinate, by walking around the
shops.
“Hey Sinae, guess what I heard happened over at SM!”
“You mean from Mark?”
“No! From Tony’s friend’s cousin!”
“Wait!  But didn’t Mark’s little sister have a friend that was at SM too?”
“No, that was Min’s little sister, and it wasn’t her friend, it was her teacher’s son!”
Krystal rolled her eyes.  Every high school student in Seoul had a friend whose cousin was a
trainee at SM, DSP, or YG, that would relay them top secret information.  She fought hard to hide a
smirk as she walked by the two gossiping older girls.
“Whatever! Just tell me what it is!”
“Jessica is going to leave SoNyuhShiDae!”
“What?!” Krystal shouted turning to face the girls as they looked at her in surprise.
“Um, excuse me,” one of the girls said with a look of disgust. “But I wasn’t talking to you.”
“What about Jessica!” Krystal snapped, taking a menacing step forward.
Both girls, despite being taller and older, stepped back in fear.
“W-well, someone told me that they overheard one of their managers asking around
yesterday about how to get Jessica out of her contract.”
Krystal could feel all the blood drain from her face. She immediately did an about-face and
began pushing her way through the crowd.
“Who the hell was that?”
“Beats me, probably just some crazy fangirl. You know how much they are in love with
those girls.”
Krystal did not hear the rest of the conversation as she was already frantically pulling her
cell phone out of her bag.  She punched the speed dial for her sister’s phone and impatiently waited
for an answer.  After two rings though, the phone abruptly went to voicemail.  Krystal bit her lips in
frustration.  Her sister was probably, no definitely, still mad at her and was most likely ignoring her
call.
Tucking the phone away, she continued through the crowd, feeling her anxiety grow with
every step. She normally ignored stupid SM rumors, but this one was too coincidental to not be
true.  Was Anna trying to get rid of Jessica? It was Stephanie that was supposed to go! She couldn’t
take it anymore.  Without a second thought, she broke out into a full run towards the nearest bus
station.   
If I Should Lose You
172 | P a g e
She cursed herself for telling Anna anything.  Her unnie’s career was going to self destruct
all because of her stupid little sister. Krystal shook her head. She wouldn’t let that happen.
Nonetheless, a tiny voice nagged at her. Jessica was in trouble and it was all her fault.

“She hasn’t come back yet?” Yoona asked. Her worried voice reverberated through the
speakerphone as her face creased in worry.
“No,” Yuri sighed, looking into the cell phone as she talked with Yoona through the video call.
Tiffany came up from behind and rested her chin on Yuri’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry Yoona,” she said. “She’ll be back, okay? You know Sica’s not going to just get
up and disappear, she’s too lazy.” She added wryly as Taeyeon passed them by, “Unlike some other
people I know.”
Taeyeon swatted Tiffany soundly on the behind. “Aigoo, that only happened once a long
time ago!”
“Still one more than Sica,” Tiffany said, sticking out her tongue.
Yoona laughed. “Unnie, I’m the one that’s supposed to be cheering you up, not the other
way around!”
“Don’t worry,” Tiffany crooned. “You are because I get to see your face today!”
Yuri stuck a finger in her mouth and made loud gagging noises.  Tiffany laughed and pushed
at Yuri’s back.
“I see your plan now,” Yuri smirked. “You’re trying to get Sica jealous over Yoona so she’ll
come running back to you!”
The girls in the practice room broke out in laughter save one maknae. Seohyun observed all
the gaiety from the opposite side of the room.  It was frustrating to see her unnies acting so casual
despite everything that had happened within the last 48 hours.
However, when Tiffany turned to speak to Taeyeon, Seohyun picked up a flash of weariness
from the girl’s eyes. She then realized that the cheery mood was simply an attempt by everyone to
keep Tiffany in good spirits. She confirmed this with another glance around the room, spotting the
occasional worried expression given when the American girl was not looking.
But the revelation seemed to only make Seohyun feel worse.  She guiltily wondered how
much stress she had personally contributed to her unnies’ worries.  With an anxious sigh, she stood
up and made her way over to the piano in the nearby corner and sat down on the bench. Yuri was
still on the phone with Yoona so she could not play anything, but that did not matter to her. To her,
the piano was a refuge, and just sitting down in front of the keys calmed her. She gently rested her
fingertips on the keyboard and caressed the smooth keys, letting her mind drift back to last night.
After Anna had left with her threats still ringing in everyone’s ears, Yuri decided to look for
Jessica. While Yuri stepped out, the other girls began to speak to each other in hushed whispers as
the reality of everything began to set in.  Seohyun simply withdrew into a shell, ignoring the looks
of worrying and disapproval thrown in her direction.  Thirty minutes later, Yuri frantically returned
and reported that the security guard had seen Jessica leave the building where a cab picked her up a
few minutes later.  After a several unsuccessful calls to Jessica’s cell phone, Taeyeon decided that it
was best to head home while they continued to try and reach Jessica.
Seohyun’s frustration was building the entire time.  Seven girls were suffering from the
immoral actions of the other two. She wanted to remind everyone of that fact, but she had already
overstepped herself when she lost control of her temper and abused her unnies. Instead, she fought
to internalize her feelings, and by the time she reached the apartment, her head was throbbing
incessantly.
She hurried into her room where she, at the last second, resisted slamming the door and
locked it before going over to her bed to pick up a large stuffed animal and squeeze it tightly.
“Want to talk about it?”
If I Should Lose You
173 | P a g e
Seohyun yelped and threw the animal into the air where it bounced off the ceiling and
landed on her head. Turning around, she found Hyoyeon getting up from Tiffany’s bed to pick up
the stuffed animal.
“How did you get in here?” Seohyun asked. She had ridden back in Kookie oppa’s car, along
with Sooyoung and Sunny. They had left well before the other van was even ready.
Hyoyeon smiled and tossed the stuffed animal onto Seohyun’s bed.  “Jooyoung oppa drives
pretty fast, you know.” She then added wryly. “Plus, I wanted to actually sleep on a bed tonight and
not in the living room.”
“Oh.”
Seohyun watched as Hyoyeon sat back down on Tiffany’s bed.  She expected some form of
questioning, but instead, Hyoyeon merely sat there, looking at her expectantly.
Seohyun looked away uncomfortably and proceeded to get ready for bed.  She grabbed at
the hem of her shirt to pull it off, but noticed from the corner of her eye that Hyoyeon was still
staring at her.  It was unnerving
“Um, unnie?” she asked self-consciously. “Can you stop staring at me?”
“Why? Afraid I got the gay too?”
“Eh!?”
Hyoyeon grinned at the failed joke, but soon replaced it with a serious look. “Seohyun, how
long is this going to go on?” she asked sadly.
Seohyun stiffly turned away. “If you’re just going to yell at me like everyone else, then I’m
going to sleep in the living room if you aren’t.”
“I’m not going to yell, I just want to understand.”
“There’s nothing to understand,” Seohyun muttered, looking down at her feet.
Hyoyeon frowned. “Seohyun-ah, please, talk to me,” she pleaded.
Seohyun kept her mouth shut and fidgeted with her hands. There was so much that she
wanted to say, but she couldn’t, she had already said plenty.
A pair of warm arms envelope her from behind. “You know, it’s better to talk about these
things instead of stuffing it inside,” Hyoyeon said, reading Seohyun’s mind. “Otherwise, you’re
going to explode and then everyone is going to get hurt, right?”
Seohyun dropped her head in shame. She could feel the tears welling up at the back of her
eyes.  Hyoyeon sat her down on her bed and began to gently rub her back.  They sat quietly as
Seohyun took the time to compose herself under Hyoyeon’s calming touches.
“It’s just,” she began hesitantly, “don’t you think what they’re doing is even just a little bit
dis—weird?”
Hyoyeon sighed and removed her hand from Seohyun’s back. She propped both hands
behind her back and looked up at the ceiling in thought.
“Of course it’s weird,” she finally said. “I mean, it’s really not something you’d expect, right?”
“Doesn’t it give you goose bumps?” Seohyun pressed, looking at her intently now.
“Well…yeah,” Hyoyeon admitted reluctantly.
Seohyun sighed in relief. She was not the only one who did not approve of the relationship.
“But you know,” Hyoyeon continued, “I think it only feels weird because I keep imagining
myself with a girl every time I see them together.  It’s not about me, though. It’s about two people
who love each other so much that they don’t care about gender.” She turned her head and looked
straight at Seohyun. “It’d be pretty selfish and stupid to think of it any other way, right?”
Seohyeon looked away, her face burning from the admonishment.
Hyoyeon put a hand on Seohyun’s knee. “Seohyun-ah, look at me,” she said.
Seohyun reluctantly turned her eyes back.
“We’ve lived together for over a year now. We’ve known each other even longer. Do you
honestly believe that your unnies are as evil as you say they are?”
Seohyun felt her breath catch. “No,” she finally admitted.
If I Should Lose You
174 | P a g e
“And do you think you really need to be afraid of sharing a room with Tiffany?”
“But she gets turned on by women!” Seohyun protested. “How can I change or go to sleep
with her right there!”
Hyoyeon raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you would think about a cousin or a brother
sexually?”
“Unnie! That’s disgusting!”
“Exactly, you’re family to Tiffany. She’d never think of you that way, the same goes with
Jessica.”
Seohyun looked doubtful.
“Besides,” Hyoyeon added, “you’re not the only one with a gay roommate, you know.  My
bed is actually connected to Jessica’s. From what I heard, Jessica was the one who made the first
move. If I’m not worried about what she might do, then why should you be worried about sharing a
room with Fany?”
Seohyun did not have an answer, she was too busy feeling uncomfortable over how much
sense Hyoyeon made.  All her life, she had been taught to look upon what Jessica and Tiffany were
doing as wrong, unnatural, and inherently evil. But Hyoyeon was right. She loved her unnies dearly
and if she really thought about it, she just did not believe that Jessica and Tiffany were evil. But still,
she could only feel unease over the entire affair. It was a vague sort of discomfort that settled in the
pit of her stomach and gave her mild discomfort in the chest.
Thankfully, Hyoyeon could sense her ongoing struggle and took pity on her.  “I’m going to
check with the others,” she said standing up.  “Maybe they got a hold of Sica.”
“She’s hasn’t picked up?” Seohyun asked, looking up in worry. Immediately she turned
away, embarrassed at her show of concern.
“No,” Hyoyeon sighed. If she had noticed Seohyun’s reaction, she did not show it and
instead, quietly left the room.
Seohyun sighed heavily and collapsed backwards on her bed.  She was now utterly confused.
There seemed to be no way out of her mental disarray as all her beliefs seemed to contradict with
one another.  She closed her eyes and prayed to find the answer that would give her peace.  It was a
long and earnest one, and without realizing, she eventually fell asleep.
Her eyes snapped open in a daze. The room was pitch dark and she was now under the
sheets.  Seohyun looked over to Tiffany’s bed, thinking that Hyoyeon had tucked her in and turned
off the lights, but the other bed was empty.  Confused, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She
grimaced at the sour taste residing at the back of her mouth, remembering that she had yet to brush
her teeth, let alone change out of her street clothes.  Pulling herself out of bed, she checked the clock
on her nightstand, discovering that she had been asleep for only a few hours.
Groaning, she swung her legs over the bed and hauled herself up. She quickly changed into
her pajamas and stepped out of her room to brush her teeth and wash her face.  Opening the door,
she noticed the living room light flooding down the hallway along with noise from the television.
Seohyun hesitated before apprehensively walking down the hall.  Contrary to what her
unnies thought, she had been avoiding them not just because of her stubborn refusal to accept
Jessica and Tiffany’s relationship, but also from the shame she felt over her initial reaction to the
news, a shame that was now amplified after her conversation with Hyoyeon.  However, she really
needed to use the restroom, so she would just have to brave passing through the occupied room.
She held her breath as she walked by, squinting from the light. When there was no reaction,
she took a surreptitious glance into the room and found her unnies sprawled out on the floor,
asleep.  They had all stayed up to wait for Jessica.
A thought overcame her and she was suddenly overwhelmed with hope. She quietly
hurried over to Jessica’s room and carefully opened the door. She felt herself deflate when she
found the room unoccupied.  With a sigh, she closed the door and tiptoed past the living room to the
linen closet.  She piled as many blankets as she could into her arms and carefully walked out
If I Should Lose You
175 | P a g e
towards the living room, laying a blanket over each girl, sometimes giving a large blanket for two
girls if they were sleeping next to each other.
The last unnie to be covered was Tiffany. She was on her side with her head resting on a
cushion and her cell phone sitting inches from her face. Tucked in her arms was one of Seohyun’s
stuffed Keroro dolls.  Seohyun could feel her heart break. Her unnie was so expressive that, even in
sleep, she could tell just how miserable Tiffany was feeling.
She quickly pushed away the feelings and draped a blanket over Tiffany.  Standing up, she
searched for the remote control and found it attached to Sooyoung’s hand, her arm sticking out of
the blanket. Seohyun pulled the device out of Sooyoung’s sleeping grasp and tucked her arm
underneath the blanket before shutting off the television.
She turned off the living room light and made her way to the bathroom to get ready for bed
for the second time that night.  When she came out, she had no desire to go back to bed. Instead,
she sat herself down at the kitchen table, using only the light at the front door entrance as
illumination.
She stared at the sleeping girls in the living room. They had all been so concerned with
Jessica from the moment she disappeared. All Seohyun had been concerned with was how much
trouble Jessica had brought on to everyone.  Again, Hyoyeon’s words came back to haunt her. Was
she just being selfish and petty?  She did not have to ask that question, she already knew the answer,
and it hurt.  She felt bitter and humiliated as she wondered why she had ever prided herself on her
maturity.
The sound of the front door opening interrupted her from her thoughts. Seohyun quickly
got up in excitement, thinking Jessica had returned. However, the sound of the footsteps coming
down the hallway dispelled that notion as she immediately recognized Yoona rhythmic steps.  She
quietly sat back down, hoping that tired actress would not notice her and walk straight into her
room.
Yoona appeared soon after, stopping in front of the living room. She sighed and placed her
hands on her hips as she observed all the sleeping bodies. She turned and caught Seohyun in the
corner of her eye, leaping into the air with a muted shriek.
Yoona placed a hand on her chest and glared. “I thought you were a ghost,” she accused in a
harsh whisper.  Before Seohyun had a chance to apologize, she quickly recovered and looked at her
cooly. “Couldn’t sleep?”
Seohyun nodded and the two girls stared at each other. Before the silence became too
awkward, Seohyun spoke up, “Um, Jessica unnie is missing.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She looked at Yoona in surprise. “You do?”
“Yuri unnie called me earlier.”
“Oh.”
After another few moments of silence, Yoona turned and walked towards her room.
“U-unnie,” Seohyun softly called out.  Yoona paused before turning around and heading back.
“What?” she asked in a neutral tone.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Yoona asked, inspecting Seohyun’s face in confusion.
Seohyun blinked. “I…don’t know. For making you mad at me, I guess.”
Yoona sighed and sat down on the opposite chair. “I don’t accept.”
“Oh…okay.” Seohyun fought back the tears that were beginning to form.
“I don’t need an apology,” Yoona explained.  “This was never about you and me, Juhyun.  You
need to apologize to Fany unnie…and Sica unnie, whenever she gets back.”
“Unnie, am I a bad person?”
Yoona pulled back from the sudden question.  She looked away and chewed on her lower lip
as she struggled to formulate a response.
If I Should Lose You
176 | P a g e
Seohyun looked down at her hands folded on the table. She knew what Yoona wanted to
say.  Her anger flared anew. She was being unjustly portrayed as the villain.  There were a lot of
people in the world who would agree with her about Jessica and Tiffany’s relationship.  But in a
moment of clarity, she realized that if she were to judge everyone’s actions in the past two days,
Jessica and Tiffany would not be the ones branded evil.  And just like that, her anger subsided as
quickly as it had come, leaving her again with that queasy feeling in her stomach every time she
thought about the two unnies.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Huh?” Yoona looked at her.
“N-nothing,” Seohyun muttered, realizing that she spoke out loud.
Yoona sighed and reached out to cover her hands over Seohyun’s. “Juhyun, you are NOT a
bad person, okay? I know you’re not trying to hurt Sica and Fany unnie on purpose.” She gave
Seohyun an almost pleading look. “You’re not, right?”
“Of course not!” Seohyun whispered hoarsely. “Why is everyone picking on me?” Seohyun
felt herself near tears again.
“We’re not!” Yoona said firmly. “Juhyun, we love you so much, that’s why it hurt Sica and
Fany unnie—hurt all of us—when you said those things. We don’t want you to think about your
unnies that way!  We’re a family!”
Seohyun stared at Yoona’s warm hands covering hers. Regardless of how she felt, she knew
Yoona was right. She just did not know how to resolve what she had been taught with the events
that were now unfolding.
Yoona removed her hands and stood up, Seohyun instantly missed the warmth.
“I’m going to bed now,” she said wearily. “You should try and sleep too. I think we’re all
going to have a very long day tomorrow.”
“Goodnight unnie,” Seohyun whispered to Yoona’s retreating back.
Yoona turned around and gave Seohyun a soft smile. It was dark, but Seohyun could
distinctly make it out.
“Goodnight.”
Seohyun remained in the kitchen, listening to Yoona move about as she got ready for bed.
When the entire apartment was silent once again, she resigned herself to return to bed for an
undoubtedly fitful night of sleep.
The next day, she spent the entire time avoiding her unnies as usual. But where there was
anger and resentment before now only lay guilt. The more she thought about the words and actions
she used towards them, the more ashamed she became. Now here she was sitting on a piano bench
in the corner of the room, lost in a shame spiral that went from guilt over her behavior, to anger at
her unnies for making her feel so guilty, to feeling even more guilty for thinking such things about
them.
“Hey.”
Seohyun looked up from the keyboard and spotted Hyoyeon walking towards her. “Hi,” she
softly replied.
“I heard you talked to Yoona last night,” Hyoyeon said, reaching out to gently stroke
Seohyun’s hair.
Seohyun nodded her head while she inwardly cringed.  She should not have been surprised
that everyone would be talking about her, but she still hated the fact.
“So how did it go?”
“Okay, I guess.”
Hyoyeon continued to stroke her head. “When you feel like talking, just let me know, okay?”
Seohyun looked up and wanted to say she was fine, but the words died in her mouth when
she saw the concern in her unnie’s eyes. Instead, she silently nodded.
If I Should Lose You
177 | P a g e
“Okay, I’ll call you if something changes,” Yuri said loudly, wrapping up the conversation
with Yoona. “Don’t worry, okay? Go back to your filming!”
“How can I NOT worry?” Yoona responded loudly over the speakerphone. “You’ve been
calling me every fifteen minutes with updates! I’m starting to get worried when you don’t call!”
“Okay, okay,” Yuri said dismissively, waving her hand in front of the camera. She exchanged
goodbyes with Yoona and hung up.
She turned to look at Tiffany, who was standing nearby with her phone up to her ear. “Any
luck?” she asked.
“No,” Tiffany sighed, “she’s still not picking up.” She angrily pushed the button to terminate
the call and tossed her phone on the floor in disgust.
“Well, we still got a few hours before the performance,” Taeyeon said, checking her watch.
“Do you think she really left?” Sunny asked worriedly.
Taeyeon shrugged. “Either way, if she doesn’t show up on time, she’s going to get in some
serious trouble.”
“Can’t we just say that she’s real sick?” Sooyoung protested. “I mean, what’s she got on her
schedule that’s so bad?”
Tiffany shook her head. “It’s pretty important. It’s Oppa Nappa rehearsal and filming for
Madam B.  If we say she’s sick, they’re going to send a manager oppa to check up on her.  Besides,”
she grumbled, “even if she does come back, we still have other problems to deal with.”
Taeyeon reached around to hug Tiffany. “One thing at a time, okay? First we find Sica, then
we deal with Anna.”
“Did someone say my name?”
Anna strolled into the room with a magnanimous smile.
The room immediately hushed and Seohyun glared daggers at Anna.  The maknae never
dreamed that she would be so disrespectful to an elder, but since Anna’s back was turned and she
was tucked away in the corner, one little nasty glare wouldn’t hurt.
“So how are my girls?” she asked cheerfully as she surveyed the room. “Ah, looks like
Jessica’s a no show. Well, hope you guys practiced extra hard! Jessica’s not Yoona, she actually sang,
so you’re going to need to make sure you got all her parts down.”
“Jess is coming,” Tiffany growled through clenched teeth.
“Oh really? What makes you so sure?” Anna asked smugly. “Did she tell you?”
“She never said she’d quit!” Tiffany said, ignoring Anna’s question. “I know Jess, she isn’t
like that!”
“Really? Well if you know her so well, you must know that she’s probably hiding out in one
of those gay bars in Hong Dae, right?”
Tiffany faltered.  Seohyun could see her eyes grow wide.
“I did a little bit of digging around,” Anna continued. "I heard she’s got a bit of a reputation
there.”
“You’re lying!” Tiffany shot back, though not as forceful as she had previously been.
“Yeah!”  Sooyoung immediately joined in and stood next to Tiffany. “And you know what?
When they interview us for your stupid review, we’re going to tell them that you’ve been
threatening us!”
“Yeah!” Tiffany echoed. She swapped high-fives with Sooyoung.
Anna however, seemed completely unfazed. “I might have been lying,” she conceded, “but
before you go saying such silly stories about me, just think about how those online reporters will
react when I tell them everything I just said about Jessica?”
Seohyun let out an audible gasp while Tiffany and Sooyoung exchanged nervous glances.
“Can you imagine how your poor Sica is going to deal with all the nastiness? First, everyone
thought she was Super Junior’s slut, now they’ll all think that she just some deviant that seduces
women.”
If I Should Lose You
178 | P a g e
Seohyun grated her teeth.  She could see the other girls with similar expressions of rage, but
there was one surprising exception.  Even from this distance, she noted the uneasiness on Tiffany’s
face.
“It’s okay,” Anna said mockingly. “In the end, you’ll thank me. Now you girls can just focus
on singing instead of trying to buy each other pathetic couple rings.”
Tiffany self-consciously brought her hands up to her chest and began twisting the ring on
her finger.  Anna smiled in triumph.
Tiffany continued to stare at her ring. “You are the only one for me,” she said softly, but
clearly.
Anna raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Tiffany looked up, the intensity back in her eyes. “It means that Jess is going to be back,” she
said in a firm voice.
Seohyun wanted nothing more than to run over and hug Tiffany as she was suddenly
overcome with hope.  She berated herself for underestimating her unnie’s strength and how
infectious it was.  An imperceptible shift had occurred within Seohyun. She would never let an
outsider come in and make decisions for her and her unnies.
“We’ll see,” Anna said, waving her hand dismissively. “I’ll be back in a few hours with
Jooyoung. Once he finds out she’s vanished, it’ll be the perfect reason to terminate her contract.”
The assistant manager then twirled around and left the room.
Anna grinned as she closed the door behind her. She was getting better at those surprise
entrances and grand exits.  She casually walked down the halls of the building, chuckling to herself
as she tried to guess how frantic the girls were acting now.  What none of them realized was that
Anna actually preferred to have Jessica back.  If Jessica returned, she could simply continue to
threaten the girls to do her bidding and everyone would be happy. But if Jessica ended up leaving,
she would be forced to tell management how she saved the company from disaster by throwing out
a promiscuous lesbian member of their most profitable idol group.  She did not have a doubt that
management would agree with her. After all, it was only one girl. The fanboys would still have
eight other girls to drool over. But still, she was pretty sure the ensuing interrogation would be
quite inconvenient and she wanted to avoid as much of that as possible.
“Anna!”
Anna turned around and spotted Krystal hurrying towards her. She frowned. What did
Mini-Jung want?
Krystal hurried towards the older girl.  “What’s going on?” the younger girl demanded.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with my sist—” Krystal clamped her mouth shut as a staff member walked by. She
glanced around and motioned Anna to follow her into an empty room.  When she closed the door,
she turned and looked at Anna intensely. “What are you doing with my unnie!?”
“I’m getting Tiffany away from her, just like you wanted,” Anna explained matter-of-factly.
“You’re supposed to be getting rid of Stephanie, not my sister!”
“It’s all the same, isn’t it?” Anna placed her hands on her hips, she was starting to get
annoyed.
“No, it’s not!”
Anna glared. “Listen, little girl! I don’t care what you thought you meant, okay? This is how
it’s going to work. You’re going to shut up and I’ll make sure you debut well. If you keep bugging
me or anyone else about this, then I’m going to let everyone know about your sister’s little secret.
I’m sure you can imagine what they’ll be saying about you!”
Krystal paled.
Anna smiled. She could really get used to all this power.
“I think we’re done here,” she said curtly and walked out the door.
If I Should Lose You
179 | P a g e
Krystal could only stand there, ashen face. Everything was going wrong. She wanted to
save her sister, but somehow she was now on the verge of destroying it. Shaking herself out of her
daze, she pulled out her cell phone and attempted to call Jessica again.  She stopped herself and put
away the phone, deciding to try a different tactic. She walked over to the meeting table and began
punching in her sister’s numbers into the speakerphone that was used for conference calls.
After three rings, the phone suddenly picked up.
“Hello?” answered a tired voice. A constant stream of noise could be heard in the
background.
“Oh, thank god you picked up, unnie!” Krystal exclaimed.
There was pause. “What do you want?” came a grouchy response.
Before Krystal could continue, a voice rang out in the background.
“Miss! Pretty lady! Would you like some sesame candy?”
“Uh, no thanks,” Jessica replied.
“Well, how about some crispy rice treats! They’re very good for you! Won’t make you fat!”
“No really, I’m fine,” Jessica said impatiently.
“Unnie! Where are you?” Krystal pleaded.
“Like you—excuse me—care?!”
“Of course I do!” Krystal protested. “I’m your sister!”
“Let me make this very clear, Krystal,” Jessica rumbled in an ominous voice. “I have no
sister!” The call terminated.
Krystal felt the tears welling up. What was she going to do now? This whole mess was her
fault and she had no idea how to get out of it. Suddenly she remembered.
Sesame candy and crispy rice!
Jessica must have gone to the open air market by the subway station.  She immediately took
off. She couldn’t be positive, but it was worth a shot.   
CHAPTER 21:  BUT NOT FOR ME
Jessica snapped her cell phone shut and pocketed it as she marched past the startled
security guard. She stepped out into the late night and sat down on the curb of the quiet street to
wait for the cab she had just called.  Taking a deep breath, she let the cool air wash over her face
and into her lungs.  It was only then that her tears began to fall.
She thought things were finally under control.  She should have known better.  Why did it
always have to be this way?  After all the hurt and frustration, she had fooled herself again into
thinking that that life could become so wonderfully fulfilling, so wonderfully complete. But then,
just like before, reality had swooped in and shattered her illusions. First with Karen, and now with
Tiffany.  Why wasn’t she allowed to be happy?  She was not asking for much.  In fact, all she ever
wanted was the freedom to be her own self.
It wasn’t fair.
What right did Anna have to shove that horse’s face wherever she pleased?  She ground her
teeth in frustration.  The psychotic assistant manager was threatening to destroy everything she
had worked for, both personally and professionally.
Jessica made no attempt to wipe away the tears running down her face. As angry as she was
at Anna, she was absolutely furious at Krystal. Anna had an excuse, she was a bitch.
Jessica took deep breaths. She could feel her blood boil as an indescribable rage overcame
her.  She tried forcing her murderous thoughts away from Krystal. As far as she was concerned, she
no longer had a sister.  A real sister would never betray her the way Krystal had.  Jessica sniffed and
shook her head.  Krystal, unfortunately, was the least of her problems. She was pretty sure she
could get her parents to lock her former sister in her room for the next five years. The real issue
was Anna.
The biggest problem would be the rumors. Anna would probably post to every fan and antifan forum as well as email reporters.  It would be worse than the stupid Dream Concert.  The antis
would do everything to keep the rumors alive so as to convince themselves that their favorite male
idols were safe from SM’s large girl group.
She did not want to subject the other girls to that kind of abuse. They had nothing to do
with it.  Not to mention that she was just not certain how any of the girls would handle it. A few
days ago, she would not have doubted that each girl would stand in support of one another, but now,
after Seohyun’s outburst, she just was not sure anymore. The last thing she wanted was to have any
of them resenting her or Tiffany for bringing this unnecessary pain to the entire group.
But, oddly enough, Tiffany’s support seemed to be the most suspect. Her girlfriend was
terrified of her family hearing even rumors of their relationship. As much as Jessica could
understand Tiffany’s reluctance, it still hurt the way she adamantly refused to let anyone else know.
Tiffany seemed most terrified of how her father may react. But how could she ever know how her
father would actually react if she didn’t tell him?
Jessica clenched her fists as she felt the anger well up in her again.  It was not right to
trivialize the issue, but why couldn’t Tiffany just be rational about it? It would not be as bad as
Tiffany thought it could be. She was nearly twenty years old, twenty-one in Korea, she was making
a good amount of money, and she even had a job, plenty of jobs in fact, for the foreseeable future.
She was not a little girl still living with her parents.
Jessica felt a twinge of guilt. She did not want to be insensitive, and she definitely did not
want to be so callous, but she wanted her girlfriend to understand that if she told her family, it
would be for the best, not just for the short term with Anna, but also for the long term.  Jessica did
not want Tiffany to live with that specter of fear, constantly looking over her shoulder and watching
But Not for Me
181 | P a g e
what she did and said.  That just was not who she was, it would suffocate her.  Even worse, Jessica
was terrified of watching the real Stephanie starve away as she was buried away on the inside.
The head lights of the cab shined in the distance as it made its way down the street.  Jessica
stood up and dusted herself off before glancing back at the entrance of the building.  She frowned.
Why hadn’t Tiffany, or any of the other girls, appeared?
She blew a puff of air out of her nostrils in frustration. If that was the way it was going to be,
then fine. She jumped into the cab once it pulled up. She did not want to go home just yet, she was
still too irritated, so she went to the only place she could let off steam this late at night.
The cab dropped her off at a noraebang not far from her apartment. Like most of these
types of businesses, it was open at all hours of the day.  She entered the establishment and asked for
a room to be reserved the whole night.  The man at the register tiredly asked her for exactly how
long. He raised his eyebrows in surprise when she told him.  Jessica winced when the bill was
wrung up. Her personal pity part was not going to be cheap. Now was not the time to be stingy,
though. Signing off on the receipt, she stopped by the vending machines to purchase large
quantities of drinks and junk food.  When she had everything she needed, she went into her room
and spent the entire night occasionally singing, sometimes snacking, but mostly crying and feeling
sorry for herself.  Eventually, she cried herself out and fell asleep on the dingy couch.
A loud ringing startled her awake. She rubbed at her sore neck and licked her dry lips,
wincing at the unsavory taste. The loud ringing continued. Jessica looked up and spotted the phone
on the wall chattering away, notifying her that her allotted time was expiring. She slowly picked
herself up, stretching out her body before walking over and groggily answering the phone to let the
workers know she was leaving.  She hung up and went to clear the table of all the discarded
wrappers and cans. Jessica was a bit astonished at all the food she had consumed. It would explain
why she felt so horribly bloated. After cleaning up the mess, she gingerly rubbed her stomach. She
definitely needed fresh air and a walk.
Jessica stepped out the building, squinting as the early morning sun shined into her eyes.
She leisurely walked down the alley and into the main street where she was shaded by the row of
buildings.  The quiet street was lined with closed stores and the cold solitude seemed to match her
spirits. She wandered aimlessly about, occasionally squinting whenever the sun emblazoned an
alley in golden hues.
After a while, she noticed that a few of the stores were opening up for business.  Since she
did not have much stamina, especially with an upset stomach, she gave up on her walk and stepped
into a recently opened café.  There, she ordered a bagel and a cup of tea in hopes that it would settle
her discomfort.  Taking her food to a table at the corner of the shop, she gingerly picked away at the
bagel until it was half consumed, ignoring the tea for the time being.  Had she drank some of the tea,
she might have done better in staying awake, but as what normally happened when she sat down,
she began to drowse off.
She was startled awake by the owner of the café.  The grumpy man told her she had been
asleep for nearly two hours and that she needed to either buy something or leave.  Jessica took the
hint, taking her cold bagel and tea with her back outside.
Outside, she noticed the sun fairly high up in the sky. She pulled out her cell phone and
checked the time. It read 10:37. She then noticed that she had missed forty-seven calls. She
debated whether or not to call the apartment to let the girls know that she was okay.
Suddenly, the phone in her hand jumped to life, startling Jessica. The display marked the
call coming from her sister. Jessica frowned as a host of bad feelings swelled within her. She
angrily silenced the phone and decided against calling the other girls. She did not want to deal with
reality just yet. Instead, she decided to distract herself further with some therapeutic shopping.
A young man heading to work did a double take as he passed her. Jessica tried not to react
and discreetly picked up the pace of her walking.  With a frown, she realized that the chances of her
being spotted were very likely if she were to go to one of the giant malls, turning a relaxing visit into
But Not for Me
182 | P a g e
a stress-filled headache.  With that in mind, she ducked into a convenience store and purchased a
large brimmed hat and a pair of sunglasses to obscure her face.  Actually, the hat was to hide her
identity. The sunglasses were meant to hide the hideous bags under her bloodshot eyes.  Still, she
knew that fans had a creepy ability to see past hats and sunglasses, so she decided the outdoor
marketplace, mostly filled with middle aged and elderly shoppers, was a better place to do her
shopping.
The weekend crowds at the marketplace, however, were maddening. Jessica was uncertain
why that fact had eluded her when she arrived.  The congestion here was doing little to calm her.
She pushed her way through the lively bustle, ignoring the calls of the vendors she passed.  Amidst
all the commotion, she felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket and instinctively pulled it out to
read the display.  She gave a puzzled look when she did not recognize the number.
“Hello?”
“Oh, thank god you picked up, unnie!”
Jessica scowled at the sound of Krystal’s frantic voice.
“What do you want?” she demanded angrily, mentally kicking herself at falling for such a
stupid trick.
“Miss! Pretty lady! Would you like some sesame candy?”
Jessica shook her head and bowed in apology to the aggressive vendor.  “Uh, no thanks,” she
replied.
“Well, how about some crispy rice treats! They’re very good for you! Won’t make you fat!”
Was that old man implying she was fat?!
“No really, I’m fine,” Jessica insisted.  She pressed her way further into the crowd.
“Unnie! Where are you?”  Her sister’s pleading voice rang through the speaker.
Jessica felt her anger rise. She picked up the pace of her walking, occasionally colliding into
unsuspecting shoppers.  “Like you—excuse me—care?!”
“Of course I do! I’m your sister!” Krystal protested fiercely.
At that point Jessica snapped.  “Let me make this very clear, Krystal.  I have no sister!”
She snapped the phone shut and jammed it back into her pocket.  Her mood had completely
soured and she found herself marching aimlessly around the entire marketplace with barely a
glance in any other direction but straight ahead.  That fact only became apparent after she had
made a complete circuit around the marketplace.  Irritated beyond belief, Jessica closed her eyes
and took a deep breath before attempting a much slower round.
But that was not to say the second time was more enjoyable than the first.
She grumbled in irritation as she once again, navigated around the clusters of tourists and
shoppers that jostled for space at nearly every booth.  With a grunt, she caught an elbow from an
overly enthusiastic old lady, nearly losing her hat and sunglasses.  Immediately following that
incident, a stranger’s foot came down to crush her toes, causing her to bite her lip and stifle a
scream.
Seeking refuge from the aggressive shoppers, she pulled herself into a smaller alley that did
not seem to be as crowded as the rest of the marketplace.  A door and window were built into the
front of one of the buildings that made up the alley.  Sitting in the window were various toys,
including a giant stuffed mushroom with a smiling face, reminding her of a particular set of smiling
eyes.
Intrigued, Jessica removed her sunglasses and hat and stepped through the door, past the
overhanging curtains and into a dimly lit room. Despite the crowds outside, she could only spot
three other people walking along the wooden shelves filled with odds and ends. The floorboards
creaked beneath her as she walked the length of the room. The place was old, but not musty. It
carried its age with a distinct charm that Jessica found comforting, almost like a homecoming.
Ironically, that comforting feeling depressed her.  It left a bitter taste in her mouth as she
was reminded of the peace she did not have. She let out a sad sigh and allowed the feelings wash to
But Not for Me
183 | P a g e
over her. She continued to amble about the store until she came upon a row of shelves against one
of the walls at the far end of the shop.
An employee wearing an apron was engrossed in organizing one of the shelves when Jessica
approached. He looked up to greet her, but his voice caught and he stopped in mid bow, his eyes
widening in recognition.  Jessica gave a weak smile and a tiny bow in response to the young man’s
stupefied reaction. The worker awkwardly completed his bow and hastily scrambled away,
stumbling his way through a backroom door.
Jessica looked at the shelf the worker was arranging and smiled. She picked up a stuffed
puppy with droopy eyes and floppy ears. Its resemblance to Tiffany was uncanny and she could not
help but laugh out loud.  For some mysterious reason, Tiffany shared numerous traits with every
single stuffed toy in the world.
She squeezed the dog affectionately a few times and grinned as she looked at the dog’s
dopey face one more time. Her entire body warmed as she thought of Tiffany’s cheery smile and
open affection. But that warmth was followed by a pain in her chest.
It wasn’t fair! They were finally together! How could life be so cruel to just rip them apart
like that! Jessica clenched her entire body as she felt her tears welling up again. Why couldn’t she
be with Stephanie?  Why was a two-bit whore like Anna getting away with it?!
“You squeeze that poor fellow any harder, young miss, and I’m afraid you’re going to have to
buy it.”
Jessica gave a confused look at the old man next to her. The man crinkled an easy smile and
pointed at Jessica’s hands. She looked down and discovered the poor stuffed animal hideously
deformed in her clenched fists.  She quickly released her grip and the stuffed puppy reverted back
to its normal shape.
“Ah! I’m so sorry!” Jessica quickly placed the stuffed animal back into the shelf and bowed
in apology to the old man whom she assumed was the proprietor.
“Don’t worry,” the owner said good-naturedly. He bent down and straightened the animal.
“I’ll only let it slide because you’re such a pretty girl.  Don’t be afraid to look around, it might get rid
of that sad face you have on.”
Jessica blinked. She did not realize that her despondent feelings had been that outwardly
visible. She highly doubted a walk around the store would lift her spirits, but the old man had such
a sincere look on his face that she smiled and bowed her head in thanks.
The agreeable old man smiled back but did not move from his place. Jessica shifted
awkwardly; uncertain of how to continue the conversation.  If the owner of the store wanted to pick
a patron to have a friendly chat with, he could not have chosen worse.
“So, um, ahjusshi, do you own this store?” she asked.  She inwardly winced at the obvious
question.
“I sure do,” he said proudly. “For four years now.”
“Oh? What were you doing before?”
“I worked at that shoe store in that shopping arcade up the street.”
Jessica was a bit startled at the thought of such an old man slaving away at a shoe store.
“Surprised?” he said with a chuckled. “Well, to be fair, I used to be a farmer when I was
younger.” He gave Jessica a sideways glance. “I know what you’re thinking, but believe it or not, I
was young too.”
Jessica giggled.
“A handsome, hardworking farmer fits my image much better, don’t you think?” the owner
said mockingly. “But anyways, I couldn’t do that kind of physical labor anymore because of my hip,
so I had to change careers.”
Jessica felt a swell of sympathy for the old man. She hated hearing those stories of
livelihoods being robbed from such accidents. It was another reason she hated heavy machinery.
But Not for Me
184 | P a g e
“Let me tell you this,” the old man said sternly, “it’s okay to sing in the bathroom, but under
no circumstance should you ever dance!”
Jessica stared in disbelief. She had no idea if he was serious.
“I basically couldn’t do anymore heavy lifting,” he continued, his eyes sparkling. “So what
was I going to do? My wife was too weak to do my work, and my daughter left for Seoul years ago.
She actually went to college.”  He smiled proudly at that statement, but then soon frowned. “Of
course, for someone who has an official document saying how smart she is, I’m not sure why she
went and did something as stupid as marry that ass of a husband.”
“So, did you move in with your daughter?”
The owner waved his hands dismissively. “No, my son-in-law said we could, but they lived
in such a tiny place! How can someone make so much money, but only afford to live in a place
smaller than a poor farmer? Sometimes, it surprises me how backwards the city is.”
Jessica raptly listened to the owner talk, not certain why she was so drawn to his life story.
“Besides, like I said, my son-in-law is an ass and I didn’t want to put my daughter in a
difficult situation.” He then patted his chest. “I also got my pride too, you know?  I’m not so far
gone that I need someone else to take care of my own family! I’ve got plenty more years before
someone is going to have to take care of me!”
He smiled broadly and looked around the store. “Now I have my own store and my wife
lives comfortably at home. Not to mention, my son-in-law now has to ask me to help him get his
own son a job.”
Jessica smiled at the shopkeeper’s obvious pride over his shop.  It was impossible not to feel
encouraged by the resiliency and vivacity of the old man, however, one question lingered.
“Weren’t you scared?”
He looked at her curiously. “About what?”
“Everything,” Jessica explained lamely. “Moving to Seoul, being a burden to your daughter,
not being able to support your wife.”
“Of course I was!” the owner said adamantly. “But what choice did I have? I didn’t want to
starve, so being scared really didn’t factor into the decisions I had to make.”
“But you could’ve just stayed with your daughter.”
The old man sighed and crossed his arms in thought. “Well, I guess moving in with her
would have been the easiest way. Even now, she keeps telling me to retire and take it easy, but
that’s just not for me. Why do I need to retire? I don’t feel like one of those old people walking
around in the mornings and taking classes—that’s not to say it’s wrong that my wife does that, of
course,” he added with a smile. “But, I still feel like I’m a productive member of society. Besides,
after you retire, there’s really only one major life event after that, right?”
Jessica laughed.
“A lot of times—almost EVERY time, the easiest or most convenient choice is not the right
one to make,” he continued seriously. “You need to listen to your own self.  Every choice you make
must be based on the same values that you build your own life on and live by.  It sounds obvious,
but you’d be surprised how hard it is to make those kinds of choices.  So sure, I was afraid in making
all those choices, but I live my life with no regrets, and you know what? I’ve got no trouble sleeping
at night. And that’s really important. Old people like me want to sleep! We’re not like you kids,
running around twenty-four hours a day. One day, you’ll find yourself appreciating a nap more than
a shiny new cell phone.”
“I believe you, ahjusshi,” Jessica said wryly. “I’m already there.”
The gloom that she had entered the store with had completely evaporated. She smiled
broadly at the sweet old man and bowed. “Thank you, ahjusshi,” she said sincerely.
“No problem,” he chuckled. “I seem to be good at solving pretty girls’ problems. I guess it’s
a little too late to switch jobs again.”
But Not for Me
185 | P a g e
Jessica tilted her head in confusion. She was not sure what the owner meant, but let it rest.
Still riding the wave of optimism that the old man’s words had inspired, she impulsively picked up
the stuffed animal she had abused earlier.
“Ahjusshi, can I buy this?”
“I’ll get that for you!”
The young worker sprung up from behind the register. He stumbled over his feet and
pushed aside a customer as he rushed over to Jessica. He yanked the stuffed animal from her hands,
never making eye contact with her, and hurried back to the register to wrap it up.
The owner shook his head. “Forgive my grandson,” he apologized, leading Jessica to the
register. “He’s normally not this bad. I can only pray that he doesn’t turn out like his father.”
Jessica smiled. “You should forgive him just this once, ahjusshi.”
The purchase was completed with no further incident and she walked out of the store with
a spring in her step, swinging the bag that carried the stuffed animal. The little puppy would have a
nice home on her bed.  She decided to name it Fany, that way, when she went to sleep, Fany would
be waiting in bed for her. Jessica blushed at the thought and laughed at the fools that said shopping
wasn’t therapy.
She had fixed on her hat when she felt her cell phone vibrated in her pocket again. Thinking
it was one of the girls, she pulled it out. She was in a much better mood now and was ready to talk,
even apologize.  She frowned when she read the display. It was Krystal again.
“Aish!” Jessica grumbled out loud. “Doesn’t this girl realize I’m never going to pick up?”
“Unnie!”
Jessice snapped her head up and spotted Krystal only a few feet in front of her, picking her
way across the crowd in the main alley.
“I knew I heard your ringer!” Krystal said in relief when she reached her.
Jessica stuffed her phone back in her pocket. “I told you to leave me alone!” she said
irritably. She then stalked past Krystal and into the crowd.
“Unnie! You can’t avoid me forever!” Krystal insisted, hot on Jessica’s heels.
“I can try!”
Krystal dogged her throughout the entire marketplace.  At times she pleaded for Jessica’s
forgiveness, at other times she angrily accused Jessica of being cruel and unforgiving, but all the
while Jessica continued to ignore her and continued her march. If there was one benefit to all the
fuss Krystal was creating, it was that Jessica no longer had to contend with the crowd. The startled
shoppers jumped out of their way when they spotted a girl in a large hat marching down the street,
her eyes fixed with an icy stare as she was followed by a wailing younger girl.
In a short time, she was out of the marketplace and heading down the stairs to the subway.
“Unnie! Please!” Krystal begged, following close behind.
Jessica rolled her eyes and reached the bottom of the stairs where she turned to head
towards the ticketing station.  Krystal suddenly seized her wrist and she was violently yanked into a
small nook in the hall that led to a service door.
“What the hell is your problem?!” Jessica shouted, glaring at Krystal. The sounds of a train
passing through and the rush of air nearly drowned out her words. Jessica pulled her arm free and
rubbed her sore shoulder.  She took a step around her sister’s left, but Krystal blocked her. Jessica
then went right, but her sister quickly shuffled over.
“Do you want to get out of my way, or do you want to die?” Jessica demanded angrily.
“Unnie, I’m sorry, okay?!” Krystal rubbed her hands in front of her face. “I swear, I didn’t
know Anna would do that!”
“What the hell did you think she was going to do when you told her that? Didn’t I tell you
how much she hated me?!”
“But I just wanted to protect you from that bitch!”
But Not for Me
186 | P a g e
“Hey!” Jessica pointed threateningly at Krystal. “Watch your mouth!  And I don’t need any
protecting from anybody! If I were you, I’d be more worried about protecting your sorry ass from
my foot!”
“Okay, okay, maybe I shouldn’t have told Anna,” Krystal conceded. “But can’t you see what
Stephanie unnie is doing to you?”
Jessica pinched her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried so very hard to control her
temper. “Krystal, you don’t know what you’re saying, okay? So. Just. Move!”
“No! Not until you see that she’s tricking you! What you’re doing isn’t normal!”
“For crying out—I went after Stephanie, okay?!”
Krystal blinked and took a step backwards. “W-what? No! Unnie, she’s messing with your
head!”
“Krystal, just stop it, okay?” Jessica screamed out the words as another train passed by,
muting their voices. “I’m gay! I’ve always been gay, and I always will be gay!”
Krystal paled. Her mouth opened and closed as she struggled with her words. The sounds
of the passing train finally faded away when she found her voice again.
“B-but you’re Girls’ Generation! What about all those guys who like you?!”
“What does any of that have to do with who I am?”
“Why are you like this?” Krystal pleaded. She had on a terrified expression and her voice
trembled. “What’s going on, unnie?!  What happened to you?!”
Jessica’s anger melted away as she looked at her sister in concern. Krystal looked ready to
lose her mind at any second.
“Krystal, I’ve always been like this,” she said calmly. She then reached out to place a steady
hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Calm down, alright?”
Krystal jerked and loudly slapped away Jessica’s hand as if she had been burned.
“No! I don’t believe you!”
Jessica felt her anger immediately rise. “Well, you know what? Like it or not, you’re just
going to have to deal with it!”
“Why?” Krystal demanded.
“Because that’s who I am!”
“Then why couldn’t you tell me?!”
Jessica blinked.  “Huh?”
“How could you?” Krystal forced through gritted teeth. Tears began to fall. “I’m your sister!
Why couldn’t you tell me something that important! Is it because you got your other family now?
I’m your REAL sister, not some pretend sister the company put you together with!”
“Wait, what?” Jessica was completely flummoxed. “Are you crazy? What are you talking
about?”
“Then why couldn’t you tell me?” Krystal accused. “Everyone else knew!”
Jessica looked at her sister in concern. “Krystal, what’s going on?”
Krystal furiously rubbed away the tears before continuing. “You guys are always talking
about how you’re all sisters now.” She hiccupped and sniffed loudly before glaring at Jessica. Her
voice then grew steadily louder. “What about your own sister, huh? Did you forget that you had a
REAL one?! Or did you just like your new ones so much better that you decided to toss me away?!”
Jessica looked at Krystal in bewilderment. “Of course I didn’t forget about you! I would
never forget—I would never toss you away!”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?!” Krystal pressed. “How come everyone else knew?”
Jessica sighed as she began to feel her own tears well up. She was starting to understand
the source of all of Krystal rage. She had been a horrible unnie.
“Krystal,” Jessica softly began, “up until a few months ago, only mom, dad, and one other
person knew.”
Krystal rubbed her eyes and sniffed. “Who was it?” she asked.
But Not for Me
187 | P a g e
“That doesn’t matter.” Jessica took a cautious step towards her sister. “Listen, do you know
how long I fought with mom and dad about this?  It was absolute hell. We were fighting non-stop
for weeks.”
Krystal looked doubtful. “I don’t remember you guys fighting like that.”
“Of course you don’t! You were like seven! How in the world were we supposed to tell you?”
Krystal remained silent, staring intently at her shoes.
Jessica came up beside Krystal and placed an arm around her sister. “Krystal, you’re my
sister, you’ll ALWAYS be my sister okay? Nothing can change that, and nothing can change how
much I love you.”
Krystal looked up hesitantly. “Really?”
“That’s gotta be the dumbest question I’ve ever heard you ask.”
“Unnie! I’m serious!” Krystal said stomping a foot.
“And I’m serious too! Get it through your thick head! I-am-your-sister-PERIOD.”
Krystal immediately wrapped Jessica up in a bear hug.
“Although I do regret it at times.”
“Unnie!”
“Kidding, kidding,” Jessica laughed. She pulled back from the hug and began stroking
Krystal’s dark hair.
“I’m sorry that I got you into this mess,” Krystal whispered, looking down again as her tears
returned. “I’m so stupid! I should’ve just talked to you first! I don’t know why I told Anna—”
Krystal gasped and looked at Jessica. “Unnie! What are you going to do about Anna!?”
“I don’t know,” Jessica sighed. “But don’t worry, I’ll do something. She’s going to regret
threatening me.”
“So you haven’t been kicked out yet?”
“Of course not!”
Krystal raised an eyebrow in confusion. “But, unnie, if you’re still part of the group…why
are you here?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Well, don’t you have a filming to go to? I checked your schedule today.”
“CRAP!” Jessica slapped a palm on her forehead and immediately started running.
“You seriously forgot!?”
CHA P TER 22 :  WHY CAN’T YOU BEHAVE ?
“Unnie, what are we going to do?”
Yuri giggled.  “Ah, it’s like I’m talking to Saebyuk.”
“I’m serious!” Yoona shouted over the videophone.
“I know, I know,” the tan girl said, waving a hand in front of the display.  She looked over at
the corner of the practice room where Tiffany sat in between Sunny and Sooyoung.  “Anything yet?”
Tiffany glanced at her phone and looked back at Yuri, quietly shaking her head.  Sunny and
Sooyoung placed sympathetic hands on her back.  Seohyun glanced worriedly at her unnie, the
textbook in her hands forgotten. She contemplated whether to say anything encouraging when she
noticed Hyoyeon staring at her speculatively from across the room, causing her to immediately
drop her eyes back onto her book, reading the same paragraph she had been for the past half hour.
“Did you call her house?” Yoona asked.
“No, her parents would freak out if she wasn’t there and we asked for her,” Taeyeon said,
pressing her face next to Yuri’s to squeeze her head into the view of the camera.
“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” Yoona replied sheepishly. “But what if we—”
The door suddenly burst open and Jessica stumbled into the middle of the room where she
doubled over, gasping for breath.  Krystal nervously appeared in by the doorway and the younger
Jung closed the door behind her, quietly remaining in place while gripping her arm in selfconsciousness.
The room fell into silence as the seven girls stared at Jessica in shock.
“What’s going on?” Yoona’s voice crackled over the speakerphone. “I can’t see! Did
someone come in?”
“Sica, where’ve you been!?” Yuri exclaimed. She raced over and hugged Jessica tightly,
draping herself over the girl’s hunched back. The others quickly approached in a babble of noise.
“It’s about time!” Sooyoung shouted.  “What in the world were you doing!?”
“Wait, Sica unnie’s back?” Yoona exclaimed. “Hold up the phone! I can’t see! Unnie!”
“Aigoo, do you know how much trouble you’ve caused us?” Taeyeon said with a frown.  It
was soon replaced with a grin, however, and she gave Jessica a playful push, nearly toppling the
exhausted girl and Yuri over.
“Seriously!” Hyoyeon chimed in.  “We were starting to think you ran away!”
“Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” Sunny asked
“Unnie! We were worried sick!”
All eyes looked to Seohyun in astonishment.  With Yuri still hanging on her back, Jessica
turned her head and looked at the maknae in a mixture of curiosity and surprise.
Seohyun averted Jessica’s eyes and stared at her fidgeting hands. “We were all so worried,”
she repeated softly.
A tiny smile gradually crept onto Jessica’s face, but it was immediately snuffed out when
Tiffany silently pushed through the crowd and stood in front of her.  The other girls immediately
stepped away from the pair, including Yuri, who quickly released Jessica and scurried aside.
Jessica straightened her back and looked at Tiffany.  An immense wave of guilt hit her as she
noticed the relief around her girlfriend’s eyes. She wasted no time to apologize as she spoke softly.
“Fany-ah, listen I—”
*SLAP!*
“YOU JERK!”
Tiffany’s voice rang out across the room. She glared at Jessica with watery eyes.
Jessica held a hand to her stinging cheek. She had barely felt Seohyun’s slap, being more
stunned than anything. Tiffany’s however, jarred her entire soul.
Why Can’t You Behave?
189 | P a g e
“Why did you leave? And where the hell have you been?!” her quite-possibly-soon-to-be-exgirlfriend demanded in a rage.  Tiffany balled up her fists and struck at her. “I thought you gave up
to Anna! Gave up on US!”
“Fany, c’mon, stop it—Ow!—Fany! Steph, c’mon!”
She quickly reached out and grabbed hold of Tiffany’s wrists.
“Why’d you run away?” Tiffany asked angrily as she struggled to free herself.
Jessica bristled. “I didn’t run away!”
Tiffany snorted and, with a violent tug, pulled her arms free. She rubbed at her wrist but
stood her ground, staring at Jessica with a challenge in her eyes.
“Okay, fine! I was a little bit scared,” Jessica relented. “But I was mad too, you know!”
“So you just ran off?”
“No! That’s not what I meant!” She took a breath to calm down and collect her thoughts.
“We were fighting, I got mad, and then Anna came back and opened her stupid mouth. I just—I just
couldn’t take it anymore. I needed some time to think.”  She looked away. “Besides, it’s not like you
guys cared that I left the room or anything.”
“I ran around the entire building looking for you!” Yuri exclaimed. “I only knew you left
because the security guard saw you!  If you’re gonna run off like that, next time go to the bathroom
or something!”
“Oh.”
Jessica felt her entire face flush.  Reluctantly, she looked into Tiffany’s angry eyes.
“Look, Steph, I’m sorry, okay?” she apologized earnestly.  “I didn’t mean to get you and
everyone all worked up. I meant to call you, but things just kept happening and I kept on forgetting.”
“That’s not a very good excuse,” her girlfriend said suspiciously.
“It’s not supposed be!”  Jessica caught herself and took a deep breath.  She exhaled slowly
and reached out to gently take hold of Tiffany’s hands.  Tiffany resisted at first, but eventually
relented.
“Steph, I’m not going anywhere, I swear,” she pleaded.  “I’m not going to give in to Anna and
there’s no way in hell that I’m going to let you go, I’ve worked too hard for it all.”
“What about me?”
“Huh?”
Now it was Tiffany’s turn to sigh. “This isn’t just your problem, Jess, it’s ours. Just because
we fought doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be involved.  It’s the opposite!”
Jessica felt a second and third wave of guilt hit her as she saw the hurt in her girlfriend’s
eyes.  She had not realized how selfish she had been, spending the night sulking and swimming in
her own self-pity while Tiffany had been worrying about her the entire time.
“Steph, you have to believe me, I didn’t mean to...”  Her words trailed off as her face burned
in shame.
“It still hurt.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jessica pleaded, tugging on Tiffany’s arms.  “I’m here though, okay?  It won’t
happen again. Next time I get mad, I promise I’ll stay in the room—or at least the building,” she
quickly amended.
Tiffany quirked an eyebrow while the corner of her mouth twitched. Jessica noticed and
smiled in relief before quickly sobering up.
“Fany-ah, I’m serious though, please, please, please believe me. We can’t let Anna do
whatever she wants to us. We have to let the manager oppas know what she’s doing.”
Tiffany looked down at the floor.
“Fany, please,” she pressed. “You’re not going to be happy if you just let her control you like
that.”
When there was still no response, Jessica continued to plead her case.
Why Can’t You Behave?
190 | P a g e
“I mean, if you don’t want to tell your family, that’s totally fine,” she reassured. “I shouldn’t
have tried to push you.” She lowered her head and tried to peer into Tiffany’s eyes. “But we can’t
let Anna do this, it’s not right.  I know we can handle it, you gotta believe me.”
“I do believe you,” Tiffany answered softly. “But—What if it just goes all wrong? What if my
Dad still finds out?”
“Then he finds out.”  She firmly took hold Tiffany’s head with both hands and lifted it up,
looking straight into the girl’s frightened eyes. “Even if everything goes wrong, I’m not going
anywhere without you.”
Tiffany’s eyes softened and a faint smile crept across her face.
“Hey! We’re not going anywhere either,” Taeyeon said loudly.  She came up from behind
and patted Tiffany soundly on the bottom as the other girls nodded in agreement.
“No matter what happens, you’ll always have at least one family that accepts you,” Sooyoung
said confidently.
“Yeah, besides, we’ll be fine, we have Sunny, remember?” Hyoyeon hooked an arm around
the tiny girl’s neck. “What are they going to do? Threaten Lee Soo Man’s niece?”
“Is that all I’m good for?” the tiny girl remarked, tossing Hyoyeon’s arm off and throwing a
mock punch to her stomach.
“Pretty much, you’re too short to be useful for anything else.”
“Hey!  Cheap shot!”
Tiffany giggled and pulled down Jessica’s hands from her head.  She looked around, taking
in her friends’ heartfelt expressions and felt her chin begin to tremble. She would never cease to be
amazed and affected by the sincere love they shared for one another.
As her eyes moved across the room, she spotted Seohyun tucked away in the back, her eyes
crinkled in laughter. The youngest caught Tiffany’s eyes and responded with a nervous smile,
causing Tiffany to break out into her own giant moon eyed smile. She quickly wiped away at the
tears that finally broke through and turned back to Jessica, beaming.
“Okay, we’ll do it your way,” she said firmly. She then put on a stern face. “But only if you
promise to never leave me again or even make me THINK that you’re about to leave. We’re in this
together, got it?”
“Got it,” Jessica whispered happily. She wiped another tear off Tiffany’s face and sniffed as
she felt her own tears forming.  With a laugh, she threw her arms around her girlfriend in a tight
hug.
“You don’t know how much I love you,” she whispered.
“It better be a whole lot.”
Jessica giggled and rested her forehead against Tiffany’s, momentarily staring into the girl’s
smiling eyes before she leaned in to touch her lips.  The spectators immediately reacted.
“EWWWWWW!”
“Wait! What is it? What’s going on?” Yoona’s voice sounded out through the speakerphone.
“I want to see, unnie! Let me see!”
“If you say so,” Yuri answered playfully on the phone.
“Oh no, wait! Ew! They’re kissing aren’t they? No, I don’t want to—Ahh! Unnie, I told you I
didn’t want to see it!”
Tiffany suddenly broke the kiss and hit Jessica on the shoulder. “Wait a minute! I’m still
mad at you!”
“Ow! Huh?” Jessica rubbed her shoulder.  “How come I’m the one who always gets hit?”
“Why did you wait so long to come back?”
“Oh.”  Her face flushed in embarrassment. “I, uh, I actually went shopping to get my mind off
things and I, um, forgot.”
Tiffany stared at her incredulously as the room went still.
Why Can’t You Behave?
191 | P a g e
A snort coming from Taeyeon’s direction broke the silence.  Jessica leaned over and glared,
but that only caused Taeyeon to burst out in laughter as the entire room quickly followed.
“U-unnie?”
All eyes turned to the doorway where Krystal had remained the entire time. The young
teenager self-consciously made her way towards Tiffany.
“Yes?” Tiffany asked warily.  She felt her temperature begin to rise as she remembered
everything the younger girl had said. With extreme effort, she forced herself to keep her anger in
check.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” she asked evenly. She crossed her arms and stared intently at the
seemingly contrite girl.
“For yelling at you the other day,” Krystal answered in a soft, shaky voice. She could not
meet Tiffany’s eyes and continued to stare at the floor.  “And at Seohyun unnie…and everyone else.
I shouldn’t have blamed you for taking Unnie away from me.”
“You know, I was really hurt when you said those things,” Tiffany said grimly.
“I know unnie, and I’m really, really sorry!  You didn’t deserve any of it! I was just mad that
Jessica unnie didn’t tell me about you two, and—and I just overreacted!”
Krystal glanced up at Tiffany’s eyes before quickly bringing them back down to stare at her
shoelaces.  Tiffany maintained her glare as she observed the remorseful girl in front of her.  With a
sigh, she dropped her shoulders and allowed herself a look of sympathy.
“You know, the next time you have a problem, just talk to me, okay?”
“O-okay,” the younger girl mumbled.
“I mean it!  I’ll always take time to listen, you’re like my little sister, you know?”
Krystal snapped her head. “R-really?”
“Of course!”
Krystal’s lips began to tremble as her eyes grew watery. She suddenly leapt forward and
wrapped Tiffany up in a bear hug.
“Thank you, unnie!”
Tiffany smiled and stroked the tiny girl’s hair. “Just like a Jung,” she said playfully, “always
crying.”
“Hey!” Jessica protested.  She gave a mock glare, but knew it failed miserably as she was
beginning to tear up.
Before any more eyes could become misty, the door to the practice room opened once again.
“You girls ready to go?” Anna asked in a business-like manner as she swept into the room.
“Don’t say anything when I tell oppa that Jessica—”
Anna’s words died in her mouth when she spotted Jessica.
“Oh, you’re back,” she said flatly.
“I was never going anywhere,” Jessica responded with a glare.
“Really?” The assistant manager tilted an eyebrow and stared at her before sighing in
resignation.  “Whatever, just get ready.  I don’t want any more problems from you or your other half
from now on, got it?”
“Unnie’s not your slave!” Krystal shouted.
“What are you doing here?” Anna said curtly. “I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want
you butting in anymore. You have my eternal thanks; now get out while I still have those happy
feelings.”
Jessica moved Krystal behind her, allowing Taeyeon to pull the younger girl in while she and
Tiffany stepped forward. The other girls remained silent, but all wore intent, angry expressions.
“We’re not doing any favors for you,” Jessica said bluntly. “If anyone asks us about you,
we’re gonna tell them exactly what we think.”
Why Can’t You Behave?
192 | P a g e
Anna narrowed her eyes. “Well then, since we’re all in such a truthful mood, I guess I’d
better do the same then, huh?”
At that moment, Tiffany lost it. “What the hell is wrong with you, huh?” she demanded.
“Just who do you think you are? We never did anything to you! Well, you know what? We’re not
afraid and you’re so totally going to get what’s coming to you!”
Anna blinked in surprise before quickly recovering.
“You should be afraid,” she growled. “I’ll tell you exactly who I am. I’m someone who’s been
trying to get what’s been due to her for way too long in this stupid chauvinistic country! Unlike you
girls, most normal women don’t have the luxury of looking like jailbait to get what we want!”
She then took an angry step towards Tiffany and jabbed a finger in the air.
“I had a chance just like you!
The girls in the room all gave her a puzzled look.
“Oh yeah, you better believe it!” Anna said emphatically, placing her hands on her hips.  “I
was an idol too! I sang the cutesy songs and did all the little dances where I would flash my skirt
and show my skin to the camera. Everyone ate it up!  But I wasn’t just some little boy’s wet dream, I
was going to become every grown man’s fantasy!”
“Is that…something to be proud of?” Sooyoung asked doubtfully.
Anna shot an icy glare. “You’re damn straight it is! I was going to be famous! All that stupid
training I had to put in was finally going to pay off! You think you have it bad with your schedules
now? Hah! I had to deal with a shitty company that paraded me around like a piece of meat from
dusk till dawn!”
Anna took a hard look at each girl, smiling in contempt as they all looked away.
“Look at you all,” she said spitefully. “You’re all so mad, thinking how cruel and unfair I am.
So innocent. You think this is unfair?” She narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice. “Tell me, do
any of you know what it’s like being locked in a room filled with filthy, drunk men?”
The girls exchanged confused glances with one another before their eyes began to widen in
realization and shock.
“They never taught you guys that in training, huh?” Anna said with a sneer.  “Well, let me
just give you all a quick lesson then. It’s real simple, actually. All you gotta do is smile. While
you’re pouring drinks, smile.  When they talk to you, it doesn’t matter what they say, just twirl your
hair, nod, and smile.  If they put a hand on your thigh or if they grab at your waist and pull you into
their laps, you just clench your teeth and force a smile.”  Her eyes turned steely as she continued,
spitting out her words in disgust. “And when some fat bastard who controls your future tells you to
take off your top and get on your knees, you sure as hell better listen.”
Startled gasps sounded out in the room. Tiffany brought a hand to her mouth and looked at
Anna in horror. “How could they do something like that to you?” she whispered.
“I’m not asking for your sympathy!” Anna barked. She began to pace the room in agitation.
“And even after all that I did—all that they MADE me do—they dumped me the second people
stopped paying attention! They had the nerve to blame ME for making the company bankrupt! As
if I had anything to do with the fact that they couldn’t find a single decent song, much less even find
time to actually promote me instead of whoring me out to executives!”
Anna stopped her pacing and violently thrust a finger at the girls, causing a few of them to
flinch.
“But now I’ve got a second chance, and I’m not going to let anyone break me down again!”
She was now practically shouting at the top of her lungs. “If you think I’m just going to roll over and
let you girls win, you’re in for a big surprise. If any of you stand in my way, I’m going to ruin your
careers just like how they ruined mine!”
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Why Can’t You Behave?
193 | P a g e
The door to the practice room swung opened one more time as Seongkook entered.  He
looked about the room, noting the heated faces before slamming the door shut and turning to the
assistant manager.
“I could hear you in the hall!  What do you think you’re doing?”
The room immediately erupted into noise.
“Oppa, don’t listen to her!”
“She’s horrible, oppa!”
“She’s been blackmailing us!”
“That’s a damn lie! They’re all freakin’ perverts!”
“Wait, wait, wait! HOLD IT!” Seongkook bellowed at the top of his lungs.  The women
immediately silenced as he glared at them all. He cleared his throat and rubbed it tenderly before
continuing.  “Hey! I was talking to your unnie, so I’d appreciate it if you kids would stay quiet.”  He
folded his arms and looked expectantly at Anna.
The eldest woman took one look at the twitching vein on Seongkook’s forehead and quickly
surmised that she would not be able to talk her way out.  She had wanted to keep the secret for at
least another month and reap the benefits, but now, if she didn’t want to lose, she was going to have
to act.  With a deep breath, she violently pointed at Jessica and Tiffany.
“They’re gay!”
Seongkook blinked and followed Anna’s finger to Jessica and Tiffany. The two girls looked
at Anna in wild-eyed shock, unprepared for the blitzkrieg of an outing. They nervously looked back
at their manager, unconsciously holding their breaths.
Seongkook raised an eyebrow in confusion. When the words finally sunk in, he abruptly
turned back and stared incredulously at Anna.
“Are you insane?  What the hell are you talking about?!”
“I’m saying they’re doing lewd acts with each other!” Anna shot back, placing hands on her
hips. She met his look with a resolute face.  “Do you realize how bad this’ll be if it gets out?  It’ll
destroy the company’s image!  We have to get rid of them, now!”
“Don’t listen to her, oppa!  She’s a liar!” Sooyoung exclaimed.
“Now look who’s lying!” Anna flashed a glare at her before turning back to Seongkook with a
pleading look. “I tried to take them aside and tell them how immoral it was, but they wouldn’t listen
to me!  They just blew me off and said they would do whatever they wanted.”
Anna gave a fearful glance at Jessica and Tiffany before leaning towards Seongkook and
lowering her voice. “They even told me that I better shut my mouth or they would tell you and the
others that I was doing drugs and harassing them!”
“Oppa, she’s lying!” shouted Hyoyeon, her face red from rage. “She’s the one who’s
threatening us! She kept saying she’d tell the press about them if we didn’t listen to her!”
“Yeah, she’s a lying piece of ddong!” Yoona’s voice interjected unnecessarily over the
speakerphone.
“How dare you!” Anna snapped, her eyes flashing.  “If you kids don’t stop being so
disrespectful, I’m going to—”
Seongkook cut Anna off, stepping in front of her, and looked at Hyoyeon intently.
“Wait, so it is tr—was that Yoona?”  He belatedly looked about the room, searching for the
willowy girl.  He scratched his head in confusion and turned back to Hyoyeon.
“So…you mean it IS true? About Jessica and Tiffany?” he asked hesitantly.
Hyoyeon’s eyes widened as she realized her slip and her mouth hung open as she figured
out what to say next.
“No, no, oppa!” Yuri vehemently denied.  “Anna unnie just said she would say that! Hyoyeon
didn’t—what she meant was, uh, that she wanted to, um…” Yuri furrowed her brows as she
stuttered along unsuccessfully trying to think of an explanation.
“Oppa, it’s my fault.”
Why Can’t You Behave?
194 | P a g e
Krystal pulled herself away from Taeyeon and shuffled her way in front of the manager.  She
stared down at her feet and twisted at her fingers nervously.
“I…got mad at unnie a few days ago and I wanted to get back at her, so I thought I could get
her in trouble if I said the she and Tiffany unnie were going out.  But then you all figured I was lying
and just ignored me, so I went to Anna unnie.”
Krystal looked up with a distraught face and tears welling in her eyes. She then dropped
her head and back into a deep bow and remained there.
“I’m sorry, oppa! I shouldn’t have done that!  I didn’t know how much it hurt everyone!
Please punish me!”
Jessica felt her mouth drop.  It disturbed her at how well her sister was able to fib and
produce tears on the spot. At the same time, she also felt herself choke up, touched that Krystal
wanted to right her wrongs by taking the blame for everything.  As sweet as the gesture was, Jessica
would not allow her to destroy her own career. She gave a sideways glance to Tiffany who met her
eyes and nodded in response.
“Oppa,” Jessica said softly. “Anna’s not—”
“Then what about these!” Anna exclaimed, producing a ticket stub and a tiny box from her
purse.
Jessica and Tiffany gasped, instantly recognizing the box.
Anna thrust the stub in front of Seongkook’s face. “I found THIS on Tiffany’s night stand this
morning!” She then held out the box with the other hand. “And THIS on Jessica’s desk!”
“What the hell were you doing in my room,” Jessica growled through clenched teeth.
“You went through our stuff?!” Tiffany shouted in such a rage that her voice actually cracked.
Anna ignored them and offered the items to Seongkook. The manager hesitantly took them
and held up the stub to inspect.
There was nothing spectacular about the little sheet of paper, it was a non-descript movie
stub of a film that had been out for a few weeks.  He flipped the ticket around to discover a large
heart drawn with a pink pen. In the center of the heart were the words “first date with jess”.  The i’s
and j were dotted with hearts.  Seongkook blinked in confusion.
“Look at the box,” Anna urged.
He turned his attention over to the tiny velvet case and cautiously opened it, fearful of what
this surprise would bring.  Sitting inside was an exquisite crystal figurine of two delicate purple
blossoms.  But what interested him even more was a white heart-shaped sticker affixed to the
underside of the lid.  Jotted on the sticker were tiny words that read, “4/18/08 our first day”.
Seongkook looked back at the pink heart and then to the sticker once more before he looked
up at Jessica and Tiffany in wide-eyed disbelief.  The two girls were unable to meet their manager’s
eyes, not wanting to see the look of shock, betrayal, and eventually, disgust from someone they had
known for so long.
“Th-That’s! Uh…it’s unnie’s…” Krystal stuttered as she struggled to find a response.
“You were saying?” Anna said smugly.
“Sooyeon? Miyoung?”
Tiffany looked up to see her manager looking at the two of them unsteadily. “O-oppa,” she
began weakly.  But she could not think of any more to say after that. Instead, she was overwhelmed
with a deluge of horrid scenarios that would follow.  Despite the fact that Jessica and the others had
assured her they would support each other, terror, and the feeling of impending doom, began to
grip her mind.
“Oppa, we can explain,” Jessica softly pleaded.
Anna turned to Seongkook. “You see? They’re not denying it! What are you going to do,
huh?”
“I-I don’t know!”   
Why Can’t You Behave?
195 | P a g e
The manager shook his head in confusion. Looking back at the two girls, he felt his heart
wrench as they regarded him with worry and dread in their eyes.  Unable to stomach the sight any
longer, he brought his focus back down to the ticket stub and box in his hands, trying to make sense
of everything that was unfolding.
“IT’S MINE!”
Everyone turned towards Seohyun in shock.
“The movie ticket is mine!” the maknae said emphatically.  She pushed her way through the
other girls to stand in front of the adults.
“You’re kidding, right?” Anna said, raising an eyebrow. “I told you, I found the stub on
Tiffany’s night stand.”
“We share a room!” Seohyun said confidently. “I just left it there by accident. Ask anyone! I
went to see that movie with Sica unnie!”
“Don’t listen to her!” Anna said to Seongkook. “She’s making it all up!”
Seongkook pointed hesitantly at Seohyun. “So…it’s you…and Jessica?” he asked, befuddled.
“Yes—I mean no!”  Seohyun sighed dramatically before continuing. “I was trying to
convince unnie to see a movie with me because I’m secretly in love with her!”
She then belatedly turned to Jessica. “Unnie! I…I l-love you!”
Jessica stared in wide-eyed bewilderment.  It was exactly the same with the other girls.
“I really wanted just the two of us to go out, so I kept bugging her to watch a move with me,
but she didn’t know it was a date! “ Seohyun looked down at her hands and tapped her index
fingers together. “She would have thought I was weird and a pervert.”
Anna rolled her eyes and threw up her arms. “Oh this is just ridiculous!  If you wanted to act,
you should’ve bugged Yoona for lessons!”
She looked at younger girl and pointed at the tiny box in Seongkook’s hands. “Explain THAT
then! That wasn’t in your room!”
Seohyun gave a puzzled look.  “I don’t know. It’s just some glass figure, right?  There’s no
name or anything on it, is there?”
“Well…no,” Anna said, faltering.  She gave Seohyun a withering glare before her eyes
suddenly widened and she snapped her fingers.
“The couple rings!” she exclaimed.
“Huh?”  Seongkook raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take.
“Those two have couple rings!” Anna repeated. She marched in front of Jessica and Tiffany.
“Show ‘em!” she demanded.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jessica said with sniff.
“We’re not going anywhere until you two show me your hands. If I’m wrong I’ll apologize
and quit right here on the spot!”
Anna placed her fists on her hips and smiled triumphantly as the two girls exchanged
nervous glances.
“Let’s just get it over with,” Tiffany whispered.
Jessica looked at her girlfriend in concern, but only found Tiffany staring back at her with a
determined look.  She nodded and turned back to the smug woman.
“Whatever, if it’ll shut you up, then—”
“OPPA!”
Everyone jumped at Seohyun’s piercing shout.
“I really, really like girls!”
She grabbed the girl standing next to her and passionately planted a full-mouthed kiss to
the lips of Sooyoung.
The air was sucked out of the room as everyone stared in stupefaction.
Why Can’t You Behave?
196 | P a g e
It took three full seconds before Sooyoung got over the shock and began flailing about. It
would be another four whole seconds before the long-legged girl managed to free herself from the
surprisingly strong maknae.
“OH MY GOD, JUHYUN!!!” Sooyoung screamed at the top of her lungs.  “Who taught you how
to use tongue!!!”
She spat on the floor and vigorously wiped her mouth with her arm before looking up at the
maknae with murder in her eyes.
“You stole my first kiss!” she shouted furiously.
“U-unnie…” Seohyun held up her hands partly in apology and partly in defense while slowly
backing away.
“Give it back!!!”
Sooyoung sprinted towards the terrified girl but was quickly intercepted by Hyoyeon and
Taeyeon while Sunny quickly guided Seohyun away.
“It doesn’t count! It doesn’t count, right!?”  Sooyoung wailed as she seized Hyoeyon by the
shoulders and shook her.
“Wait, what just happened!?” Yoona shouted. “I didn’t hear!  What happened to Seohyun’s
tongue?”
“Oppa!” Seohyun pulled herself away from Sunny and turned to look at her manager. “It’s
me! I can’t help it!  I don’t care who it is as long as it’s a girl and she’s pretty! When I see a pretty
girl I—” She put her head down and blushed fiercely. “I want to do things to her! It doesn’t matter
if they’re my unnies!”
The room went silent again as everybody stared at Seohyun, simply unable to comprehend
the words coming out of the girl’s mouth.
“That was so, incredibly wrong,” Yuri muttered.
“What’s wrong?” Yoona wailed.  “Why won’t anybody tell me anything?!  Unnie!”
Yuri continued to stare at Seohyun in shock, oblivious to the girl screaming through the cell
phone in her dangling hand.
Krystal sidled next to Yuri and leaned over, pulling her long hair out of the way as she spoke
into the phone. “Unnie,” she said in a loud voice. “Seohyun unnie just said that—”
Yuri quickly yanked the phone away from Krystal’s face. “Are you crazy?! Don’t tell her!”
“Tell me what?  I want to know!” Yoona complained.
“No you don’t! You absolutely DO NOT want to know!”
“No fair!”
“Seohyun had her way with me!” Sooyoung shouted angrily at the phone.
“WHAT?!”
“Oh stop, you’re just over-reacting!” Sunny chided.
Sooyoung whirled around and glared down at the tiny girl.  “Easy for you to say, shorty! She
didn’t want to bend down that far to stick her tongue down YOUR throat!”
“Hey!”
“U-unnie, I’m sorry…” Seohyun apologized stepping towards Sooyoung. She worriedly held
a fist up to her mouth.
“Get away from me! I don’t know you anymore!”
“Give me a break!” Anna said throwing her hands up in exasperation. She then turned to
Seongkook. “She’s obviously making it all up!”
“N-no I’m not!” Seohyun protested with a stamp of her foot. “It’s true!  I can’t stop thinking
about girls!”
“Oh my god, Juhyun, PLEASE stop saying that!” Yuri pleaded.
“But unnie,” she complained, “I really do!”
“Did she say what I think she just said?!” Yoona exclaimed over the phone.
Why Can’t You Behave?
197 | P a g e
“Okay, Seohyun, that’s fine, lets’ just be quiet for a while, okay?” Hyoyeon said in a calm
voice as she quickly pulled the maknae away from the spotlight.
“Fine, I don’t care!” Anna said in annoyance. “If she wants to be like that, let’s get rid of all
three of them!”
“Leave Seohyun out of this,” Jessica growled.
Anna waved an arm at Seohyun’s direction. “You heard her! She can’t stop thinking about
molesting girls!  We obviously have no choice!”
“She didn’t do anything wrong, okay?!  The ticket stub is mine!” Tiffany exclaimed.
“Aha!” Anna pointed a finger a Tiffany and looked at Seongkook. “See? I told you so!”
“Oppa!” Jessica pleaded. “We haven’t done anything wrong! Anna’s the one who’s been
causing all the–”
“It’s all lies!  Those two’ll do anything to get you on their side!”
“Alright, everybody just STOP!” Seongkook bellowed.
The room fell silent as the manager looked angrily at Seohyun.
“Juhyun, cut it out okay? No one believes you!”
Seohyun opened her mouth to protest, but upon receiving a withering glare, immediately
shut it and nodded in obedience.
“And you two!”  Jessica and Tiffany flinched as he directed his anger towards them.  He held
up his hand and looked at the girls in exasperation. “What the hell are you two doing!? I just—I
don’t—”
He began rubbing his forehead with his hand, staring at the movie stub and jewelry box in
his hands.  “I can’t believe this is happening,” he muttered.
Tiffany took a hesitant step forward, ignoring the smirk on Anna’s face.
“Oppa,” she began.
“I don’t want to hear it,” the manager said brusquely. He looked up at her angrily. “What’s
the ONE thing I always ask you—ALL of you to do?”
Tiffany bit her lip as she attempt to recall the many rules he had laid down in the past year.
“Wake up on time?” Jessica ventured.
“No.”
“Not to let people take pictures of us,” Taeyeon chimed in.
“No!”
“Always cover the top of our shirts,” Sooyoung suggested.
“Oh!  Keep our legs closed!” Hyoyeon added.
“No!”  Seongkook said irritably. “I’m always telling you girls to talk to me! If you have a
problem, I need you to tell me!”
“Are you serious?  You’d still flip out if we told you!” Jessica said bluntly.
“No, I wouldn’t!”
Jessica gave him a look of disbelief.
“Oppa,” Tiffany said sadly. “Do you REALLY think this is something we could just come up
and tell you?”
“Well, you should’ve tried!” he said stubbornly. “I’m supposed to look out for your wellbeing, aren’t I? If you don’t bring this stuff up, then it just ends up turning into something like this!”
He gestured his arms wildly in the air.
“Yeah? Well, what if our well-being isn’t what the company wants, huh?” Jessica retorted.
“What are you going to do then?”
Seongkook looked away uncomfortably.
“Hey, let’s not forget that this mess is all YOUR doing!” Anna said, stepping forward, hands
on her hips as she sought to keep the pressure on the girls.
“It only became a mess when YOU got involved!” Jessica shot back.
“Don’t you dare blame me for your perversions!”   
Why Can’t You Behave?
198 | P a g e
“What the hell is your problem?” she demanded.
“My problem is you! I’m sick and tired of your stupid attitude and the way you’re always
looking at me like you’re better than me! You’ve been causing me problems since day one!” Anna’s
face unattractively flushed a deep red as she continued to shout and point. “You’re the reason I got
in trouble for not picking you up after that stupid Oppa Nappa filming! I kept telling them it was
your fault, but no one would believe me!”
“That’s because, again, it was YOUR FAULT!”
Anna straightened her back and sneered. “Guess they’ll believe me now that your cover’s
blown. You’re finally going to get exactly what you deserve! You’re nothing now!  Just a perverted
girl with no college education! Enjoy flipping burgers!”
“Alright you two, quit it!” Seongkook shouted. He looked at Anna incredulously, unable to
fathom where all that pent up rage came from.
“You better take that back, you bitch!” Tiffany shouted at the top of her lungs, spittle flying
from her mouth as she moved towards Anna.
“Hey!  I said quit it!” Seongkook shouted again. He stepped in front of Tiffany and angrily
looked at her. Tiffany reluctantly complied, but continued to glare hatefully at Anna.
“What’s gotten in to you—all of you!” he exclaimed, looking at the girls around him.  “You’re
supposed to be our good kids!  You’re not supposed to be cussing at staff!”
He looked back at Jessica and Tiffany. “Are you TRYING to get yourselves thrown out? It’d
be easier to just spit in the CEO’s face, you know!”
“Oppa,” Jessica began.
“No more!” Seongkook exclaimed.
He squinted and pinched at the bridge of his nose, sighing in discomfort before taking
another look at the ticket stub and jewelry case.  Turning the stub over, he read over the words
once again.  With another sigh, he looked painfully at Jessica and Tiffany.  Jessica stared back at him
defiantly, her body appeared as if she was bracing herself for a blow. Tiffany, on the other hand,
looked plain terrified.  He knew just how important Girls’ Generation was to both girls and it made
his heart wrench when he thought of the repercussions that would soon follow.  He felt his heart
twist even further when noticed their hands clasped tightly together.
Averting his eyes, he found himself looking at Anna. Her jaw was set and her eyes bore in to
him.  Strands of hair were matted to her forehead by the light sweat that had broken out from all
her screaming, while her skin remained slightly flushed. It all combined for a rather intimidating
effect.  He could practically feel the woman willing him to become the executioner.
What Seongkook did not realize was that the slightly disheveled, yet extremely intense
appearance belied the glee that was threatening to burst out of Anna at any second.  Her piercing
stare was merely a product of her impatience. She wanted to drag the girls to Lee Soo Man’s house
and tell them exactly what they had been doing.
With a slump of the shoulders, Seongkook turned back towards Jessica and Tiffany. Anna
fought to keep down a smile as she watched the two hold on to each other in a pathetic attempt to
comfort one another from their impending doom.
“This is absolutely insane,” he muttered to the two girls. “I can’t—there’s no way the
company can deal with this kind of stuff—whatever this is all about!  You know that right?”
Jessica and Tiffany silently nodded.
“So this is what we’re going to do.”  Seongkook nervously rubbed the back of his neck and
shifted his feet before taking in a deep breath.
“Jessica? Tiffany?” he looked at the two girls resolutely.
Tiffany’s heart began to race and she tightened her grip as she desperately fought off the
onset of panic.  Jessica placed her free hand on top of Tiffany’s hand in assurance, silently wincing in
pain as she felt her fingers go numb.
Why Can’t You Behave?
199 | P a g e
“Are you two dating?” Seongkook asked, taking a step closer and eyeing each girl with a
penetrating gaze.
Jessica and Tiffany glanced at one another before they hesitantly nodded in the affirmative
and focused their eyes on the floor.  The breath was sucked out of the room as the other girls
quietly groaned.
“I see,” Seongkook said quietly. “Who are they?”
The two girls looked at their manager in confusion.
“Huh?”
“Eh?”
“You’re boyfriends!” he snapped. “Who are they? Are they idols? Are they in this company?”
Anna dropped her mouth in disbelief. “What the hell are you talk—”
“Answer the question,” Seongkook repeated firmly. “Do you have boyfriends?”
“Uh….no?” Jessica responded while Tiffany violently shook her head.
“Oh! Then it was just a misunderstanding!” Seongkook exclaimed as he smiled in relief.  He
then shook his finger at the two. “You guys really tricked me! I totally thought you two were going
out!”
“What the hell kind of question is that!” Anna cried out. “They ARE going out, you idiot!
With EACH OTHER!”
“I don’t appreciate that kind of language Anna,” Seongkook said with a frown.  “Besides,
weren’t you even paying attention? Krystal just told us she was lying when she said that they were
going out.  Right?”
Krystal immediately straightened to attention. “Y-yes, oppa!”
Seongkook looked back at Anna and smiled. “See? And besides, they even said they didn’t
have any boyfriends!”
Anna looked at him incredulously and held her hands out in front of her face. “OF COURSE
THEY DON’T HAVE BOYFRIENDS!  THEY’RE GAY FOR EACH OTHER!”
“Anna, I really think you’re overreacting here.  You just heard wrong.”
“If I’m overreacting, then explain that!”
Anna pointed angrily at the ticket stub and box in Seongkook’s left hand.  Seongkook looked
at the items and sighed.
“You’re right,” he said, sighing bitterly.
She smirked.
“Anna, you’re fired.”
Anna looked at him in confusion, frozen in place.
“WHAT?!!!”
“You’re fired,” Seongkook repeated calmly.
Anna took an unsteady step backwards, completely flabbergasted. She then pointed at
Jessica at Tiffany. “But they’re homos! I’m telling the truth, I swear!”
“I’m not firing you for lying.”
“Then why?!”
“You seriously don’t know?”  Seongkook said in disbelief.
Anna could only blankly stare.
“You snuck into their apartment and went through their stuff!” he exclaimed, throwing his
hands up in exasperation.  “You don’t get it, do you? We’re supposed to protect these girls, not
invade their privacy!”
“I was trying to save the company from quite possibly the most embarrassing scandal in
history!”
“An embarrassing non-existent one!”
“Oh come on! Who’re you kidding?  Those two are about as straight as a San Francisco
parade!” Anna’s face was quickly beginning to flush red again.
Why Can’t You Behave?
200 | P a g e
“I don’t want to hear it anymore!” Seongkook said harshly. “Are you completely insane?
Why in the world are you so determined to destroy these girls? What kind of manager does that?!
I’m sorry Anna, but you made it pretty clear. You gotta go.”
A flash of shock and disbelief washed over Anna’s face before she narrowed her eyes.  “So
that’s how it’ going to be, huh?” she said ominously.  She turned around glared at the two girls.
“This isn’t over by a long shot! Don’t think you’ve won!”
She looked back at Seongkook and smirked. “Guess I’ll have to make up for the crappy
paycheck by selling this story to every new outlet in the country!”
“I hope it’ll be enough to cover the legal fees.”
“What?”
“You know, the legal fees you’re going to incur when we sue you for breach of contract by
invading the privacy of one of our employees. Oh, and considering the fact that you weren’t an
official manager, you never had a right to be in that apartment by yourself, so you’ll probably have
to deal with the breaking and entering charges too.”
“WHAT!?”
“You’re not the only one that can be threatening, Anna,” Seongkook said matter-of-factly.
“You might also find it a bit difficult to work at another entertainment company if you chose to
make life difficult for us.”
Anna dropped her jaw.
Seongkook suddenly broke into a smile. “But you wouldn’t do that! I mean, I’ll still
document everything and keep it in your file for safe keeping, but aside from that, we’re all just
going to get on with our lives, right?”
Anna nervously nodded.
“Great!”  Seongkook clapped his hands together enthusiastically.  He walked over to Jessica
and handed over the ticket stub and jewelry box to her.  He then headed over to the door and held it
open, looking directly at Anna. “C’mon, I’ll help you get your stuff and walk you out the building.
We’re supposed to have the security guard do that, but you’re not going to cause any problems,
right?”
Anna silently shook her head and put her head down as she hurriedly stepped out of the
room.  Seongkook followed her, closing the door behind him.
CHAPTER 23 : NO OTHER LOVE
The door closed with a sharp click that echoed throughout the room. The nine girls stared
blankly at the door, as if anticipating it to open again with more bad news.
“U-unnie?  Guys? Is everything…okay, now?” Yoona voice crackled uncertainly over the
speakerphone.
Jessica attempted to shake away her stupor, still unable to believe what had just transpired.
Looking over at Tiffany, she found the girl still staring at the door, chewing on her lips.
“Steph?”
Tiffany’s head snapped to attention and their eyes locked.  A smile gradually appeared on
Jessica’s face as she realized that they were still together.  It was soon followed by a rush of
euphoria that threatened to overwhelm her as she fought to contain everything in her bursting
heart.
For Tiffany, it was the exact opposite. She burst out into an overjoyed smile, not unlike the
one that had greeted Jessica the first day the two met.  Without warning, she let out an exuberant
shriek and pounced on top of Jessica, throwing her arms and legs around her girlfriend’s body.
Jessica emitted a squeal of her own as her knees immediately buckled, toppling her backwards to
the floor.
“Pretty much back to normal,” Yuri answered Yoona, focusing the phone’s camera on the
tangled mess of limbs on the floor.
“Are they doing it?!” Yoona gasped from the other side.
“Maybe,” Yuri replied slyly.  “Why? Are you curious?”
“Unnie!”
“Wah!  They’re ByunTaeng’ing it on the floor!” Sunny said with glee as the rest of the girls
followed with suggestive whistles.
“Hey!  When did that become a verb!” Taeyeon demanded.
Jessica chose to graciously ignore the teasing and focused instead on the throbbing pain in
her behind.
“My butt’s gonna be bruised tomorrow,” she groaned.
“Sorry,” Tiffany apologized without conviction.  Her smile grew wider and she tightened her
grip around Jessica’s neck, burying the girl’s face into her chest. “I’m just so happy!” she squealed.
Jessica instinctively wrapped her arms around Tiffany’s back, burying her face further. She
was busy enjoying her girlfriend’s soft body when she suddenly realized that her hands were now
empty.
With a gasp, she pulled herself free from Tiffany and scrambled to her knees as she spun
around, looking frantically around the floor.  Spotting the movie ticket and jewelry box nearby, she
snatched them up, she flipped open the case, sighing in relief when she found the crystal piece
undamaged.
Jessica glared at Tiffany. “Yah! Be careful! It could’ve broke!”
“Sorry!”  Tiffany said with a guilty pout that melted Jessica’s anger instantly.
“You’re getting too good at that,” she muttered.
“I know,” Tiffany replied smugly.
“Here’s your ticket,” Jessica said with a grin, holding out the movie stub.  “Your silly
memento almost got us in trouble.”
As Tiffany reached for it, her eyes widened and she quickly pulled her arm back in, holding
the ticket up to the light.
“Did you laminate this?”
No Other Love
202 | P a g e
Tiffany blushed and reached over to grab the stub, but Jessica blocked the attempt with her
body and began to laugh.
“So what if I did!”  Her blush deepened as she leaned over Jessica and snatched the ticket
away.  She stuck her tongue out defiantly before scurrying off to securely tuck the item away in her
purse.
Jessica was still giggling when Yuri and Sunny came up from behind, each girl hanging over
her shoulder.
“What’s in the box?” Yuri asked, looking at the box inquisitively.
“Yeah,” Sunny chimed in. “We couldn’t see when oppa opened it.  What is it?  Was it
something Fany gave you?”
Jessica nodded opened the case. Yuri and Sunny’s eyes immediately widened.
“Ooooh.”
“Unnie! I wanna see too!” Yoona called out through the phone. Yuri held her phone up.
“Ooooh! Fany unnie got that for you?”
“For my birthday,” Jessica said proudly.
“Awww,” the three girls cooed simultaneously.
The other girls quickly crowded in, joining Yuri and Sunny in admiring the gift.  Jessica
beamed as she handed the case over to pass around.  Tiffany returned by this time, coming up from
behind and snaking her arms around Jessica’s waist.
“Yah! How come you never got me anything like that for my birthday!” Sooyoung
complained as she admired the crystal piece.
“Cuz she wasn’t trying to get into your pants,” Hyoyeon retorted as she nabbed the case
from Sooyoung’s hand. She held it up to the light to better appraise it before adding, “That, and you
don’t make out with her every night.”
Sooyoung immediately whipped around and pointed at Seohyun. “Seo Juhyun! You owe me
a gift this nice for my next birthday!”
Seohyun stuttered in response, uncertain as to whether her unnie was serious or not. In the
end, she made a noise of agreement and reluctantly nodded.
“Oh, get over it,” Hyoyeon said, handing the crystal to Taeyeon.  “She was just trying to help
Fany and Sica.”
“Yeah, at MY expense!”
“Well if you think about, she did you a favor! I mean, weren’t you always complaining that
you’ve never been kissed? Well, now you know!  You should probably buy her dinner!”
“That is SO not the same, and you know it!”
The pointless argument was loud enough that bits of the conversation managed to filter
their way through Yuri’s phone and over to the other side where Yoona pieced everything together.
“Wait…Seohyun did WHAT?!”
“Ahh! Nothing! Nothing!” Yuri quickly said.
“Unnie! I know she did something! Juhyun! What did you do to Sooyoung unnie! Is it what
I think you did?!”
“I’ll tell you when you get home, okay? It’s hard to explain.” Yuri said as she quickly waved
Seohyun away
“No fair!”
Seohyun kept out of sight of the cell phone video camera, sliding over to where Tiffany and
Jessica were talking with Krystal.
Tiffany saw Seohyun approached and smiled.
“So what was it like kissing Sooyoung?” she asked slyly.
Seohyun blushed.
“Better than a guy, huh?” Jessica said grinning.
“Unnie!” she spluttered.  “You know I haven’t kissed a guy!”
No Other Love
203 | P a g e
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing special.”
“Speak for yourself,” Krystal said.
Jessica snapped her head. “Why? Are you speaking for YOURSELF?” she asked, narrowing
her eyes.
“N-no!” the younger girl said defensively.  “I was just guessing!”
Jessica eyed her sister suspiciously before continuing. “Well, take it from me, kissing a girl
is like fifty—no, one hundred times better. They’re softer and they—”
“Yah, yah, yah, don’t turn her into a perv like you,” Tiffany remarked.
“Me?  If I’m recalling correctly, weren’t you the one who likes it when I rub your—”
“Ew. Gross.” Krystal said emphatically, sticking out her tongue. “I SO do not want to hear
this right now!”
“Aww, it’s okay.” Jessica giggled and wrapped her arms around Krystal. “One day you’re
gonna learn that all those things you thought were icky actually feel really, really g—”
“Oh my gosh! Ew! Stop! I don’t wanna hear it!”  The younger girl immediately jammed her
fingers into her ears as she struggled to free herself from her sister’s grasp.
“Uh, unnie?”
“Hm?” Jessica looked at Seohyun while she tightly held on to Krystal. Krystal looked up at
Seohyun as well, her fingers still in her ears.
“I, uh, just wanted to apologize properly to you—and Tiffany unnie.”
Seohyun creased her brow and looked down at her shoes, struggling to find the right words.
She realized that no amount of words could make up for what she had done.  With an anguished
sigh, she looked at her unnies and gave them a brief but heartfelt apology.
“I’m sorry,” she said remorsefully. “I’m sorry for hitting you, unnie. And I’m sorry for
yelling at Fany unnie. I’m sorry for everything.”
The two older girls gave her a gentle smile. Jessica released herself from Krystal and
reached out to stroke the younger girl’s head.
“It’s okay,” she said softly. “Just remember, I get to hit you too.”
“Huh?” Seohyun took a step back.
“I’m kidding, babo!” Jessica huffed.  “Do you really think I’m that violent?”
“So…you forgive me?”
Jessica grinned. “Of course I—WE do. You’re our baby and we love you.”
“Besides,” Tiffany chimed in, “I think kissing Sooyoung was punishment enough.”
“I heard that!”
Seohyun anxiously stepped forward. “I’m serious though! I really, really, am sorry! I’m
going to be more open-minded from now on, I promise!”
Tiffany laughed. “Don’t worry about it Seohyun-ah. We know you mean it. I mean, if
kissing another girl isn’t open-minded, then I’m kinda scared at what else you’re going to do to
Sooyoung.”
“’Do’ being the operative word here,” Jessica said with a grin.
“Unnie!” Seohyun exclaimed with a bright blush.
“Ugh, can we seriously please stop talking about it!” Sooyoung protested.  “It felt like I was
kissing my sister!”
“How would you know that?” Yuri asked with a raised eyebrow.
“You know what I mean!”
“Unnie, it wasn’t your fault,” Krystal said firmly, grabbing Seohyun’s hand.  “I was the one
that told you AND Anna!”
Seohyun adamantly shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t have—”
“Aigoo,” Jessica exclaimed in exasperation. She threw her arms over the girls.  “You’re both
lousy dongsengs!  Feel better now?”
No Other Love
204 | P a g e
The two maknaes gave her an injured look as Tiffany giggled and ran forward to join in on
the group hug.
“Looks like they’re one big happy family again,” Sunny remarked.
“How is Seohyun part of the family?” Hyoyeon asked.
“Didn’t you just hear them? She’s their baby!”
“That makes absolutely no sense,” Taeyeon muttered.
“Ah! Unnies! I have to go film now!” Yoona announced over the speakerphone. “You have to
tell me EVERYTHING I missed, okay?  Everyone has to stay up tonight! Promise?”
“What?  But I wanna sleep!” pouted Jessica.
“With Tiffany!” Sunny chimed in gleefully.
“Stop! I’m picturing it now!” Taeyeon exclaimed.
“Okay I really have to go now!” Yoona said hurriedly. “I think we’re going to end early
tonight, so try and stay up!”
“Bye Yoonbaby!”
“Bye Yoona!”
“Bye Yoong!”
“Bye unnie!”
When the last of the goodbyes were said and Yoona hung up, Krystal spun around to face
Jessica with a serious expression.
“That’s right, unnie!  You have to take responsibility too!”
“Huh?”
“You need to apologize too!”
Jessica raised an eyebrow. “For what?”
“For doing…th-that! At home! You can’t just do it anywhere you want! I still live there!
Mommy and Daddy live there! It’s wrong!  Thanks to you, I’m probably going to have to see a
therapist before I even get to debut.”
Jessica continued to stare at her sister in confusion.  Tiffany’s eyes, however, widened.
“Nononono!” she exclaimed, waving her hands in Krystals’ face. “We weren’t doing any of
that! I swear!”
Krystal looked at her doubtfully. “Really?”
“Woah! Yeah, no way!” Jessica said emphatically when she finally realized what the two
were talking about.
“But I saw you two…on the bed…” Krystal trailed off with a blush as the other girls crowded
in, many wearing slightly lecherous grins.
“We were ah…” Jessica rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably. It was not a topic she
wanted to talk about with her sister, ever.
“…fooling around,” Tiffany muttered, finishing off the sentence.
Yuri, Sunny, Sooyoung, and Hyoyeon immediately cheered and whistled while Taeyeon
twisted her face in disgust.
“Ah, unnieeeee,” Seohyun said in a distressed tone.
“What! We’re human too!” Jessica defended.
“Oh my gosh, I so do not need to hear this!” Taeyeon exclaimed. She quickly grabbed
Krystal’s arm and pulled her away. “C’mon Krystal, we don’t need to hear about Fany and your
sister’s urges!”
“Look who’s talking, ByunTaeng!” Tiffany shot back.  “I’ll bet you thank God every night He
made you that short so you can stare at butts all day long!”
“So you want ByunTaeng, huh?”  Taeyeon smirked and took a menacing step forward, her
arms outstretched and fingers wiggling.
No Other Love
205 | P a g e
Tiffany shrieked and took off as the older girl lunged towards her.  She continued screaming
as Taeyeon chased her around the room with outstretched arms that were grasping at the air just
inches from her derriere.
“Yah, are you going to let her molest your girl?” Yuri asked Jessica.
“I don’t mind,” Jessica said with a shrug.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I like watching Fany run.”
Yuri gave her a playful push and the two continued to watch as Tiffany ran to a chair and sat
down, sticking her tongue out.  Taeyeon simply grinned before she pounced on top of Tiffany and
began trying to pull the girl off the chair, causing more ear-splitting shrieks.
Sunny winced. “I think we better stop them before I go deaf.”
“Wait.” Sooyoung placed a hand on her arm and pointed to the side.  “I think someone’s
enjoying herself too much.”
The other girls followed Sooyoung’s finger and found Jessica staring raptly at the two girls
wrestling in the chair, a faint grin tugging at a corner of her lips.
“Gross, Sica!”
“Unnie, you perv!”
A piercing shriek startled the girls and they all watched Taeyeon managed to pull Tiffany
out of the chair, sending both girls tumbling to the floor.
The door to the room opened and Seongkook re-entered the room, stopping abruptly as he
witnessed the girls writhing on the floor, Taeyeon grasping Tiffany in places a friend should never
grasp.  The two tussled a few more seconds before they noticed their manager’s presence and
quickly scrambled to their feet.
Seongkook opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it, shaking his head.
He then turned to look at the rest of the girls.
“Slight change of plans, girls,” he said. “Jooyoung Oppa is going to pick up Jessica, Tiffany,
and Seohyun to go to Madam B practice, okay? I just gave him a call so he’ll be here in a few
minutes.”
“How come you’re not taking us?” Tiffany asked.
“I need to stay here and tell management to fire Anna.”
“Didn’t you just fire her?” Hyoyeon asked, puzzled.
Seongkook chuckled and pointed a finger at his face.  “Do I look like a CEO to you?  I’m in no
position to fire anyone!”
“So you lied to her?”
“Of course!” He noticed the worried looks on everyone’s face and gave a reassuring smile.
“Don’t worry, okay? Once I tell them everything, there’s no way they’re gonna keep her around.”
“But then, what about Jessica and Tiffany,” Taeyeon asked worriedly.
Seongkook blinked. “What about them?”
“Won’t they get in trouble, too?” Sunny asked.
“Why would they? It’s not their fault Anna went through their stuff.”  He gave the two a look.
“Isn’t that right?”
“Right!” both girls chimed as they smiled brightly at their manager.
“But oppa, it’s Saturday,” Sunny pointed out. “I don’t think anyone’s around.”
“Well, when you call your boss and tell him you fired someone you weren’t supposed to,
he’ll surprisingly make the time to see you.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go really get Anna
fired now.”  He turned around and headed towards the door before spinning around and slapping
the heel of his palm to his forehead.
“Crap!”
The girls immediately felt the worry return.
No Other Love
206 | P a g e
“I forgot to tell you, the PD for Madam B wanted you three to sing another piece along with
Oppa Nappa.”
Taeyeon, Sunny, Hyoyeon, Yuri, Sooyoung, and Krystal all sighed in relief, but Jessica,
Tiffany, and Seohyun gave their manager startled looks.
“Oppa! How can you forget!” Tiffany complained.
“Well, you guys had me pretty distracted!”
“What are we going to do?” grumbled Jessica.
“Um, can’t you two sing that duet?”
Jessica and Tiffany looked at Seohyun questioningly.
“You know,” Seohyun muttered as she rubbed her fingers together. “That song you two
were practicing a few days ago. I heard you practicing in the dressing room when we were at MNet.”
Jessica frowned. “How did you hear that? I thought you were studying with your
headphones on.”
“Yeah, we were pretty quiet.”
“Fany can sing quietly?” Sooyoung whispered loudly to Yuri. Tiffany glared.
Seohyun shook her head. “No, I was just wearing them to keep my ears warm.”
The room burst out in laughter.
“I’m serious! It’s a pretty song!”
“Are you sure?” Tiffany asked, rubbing the tears from her eyes. “You know my voice doesn’t
sound that great right now.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Seohyun said stubbornly.
Jessica wrapped an arm around her. “Yah, Seohyun-ah, you don’t have to do this, we forgive
you.”
“But I like it when you and Fany unnie sing together!  I think everyone does.  It
sounds…special.”
“Wanna try?” Jessica looked at Tiffany questioningly.
Tiffany smiled back.  “Why not?”
“Great!” Seongkook said. “Just make sure you have the sheet music for them when you get
there.”
“Oh! Oppa, can I come, too?” Yuri asked.
“Oh, I wanna go then too!” Hyoyeon jumped in.
“Me too!”
“Not me, I’m going to bed.”
“Yah! Show some support!”
“Yuri can go, but that’s it. There’s no room for anyone else in Jooyoung’s car, and we’re not
going waste gas money by taking another car or the van.”
“What a stingy company,” Sooyoung muttered.  She quickly averted her eyes and began
whistling when Seongkook gave her a disapproving look.
“Just make sure you’re all ready to go when Jooyoung gets here, okay?  I really gotta go now.”
With that, their manager turned around and jogged out of the room.
“Unnie, I’m gonna go home,” Krystal said with a yawn. “I’m kinda sleepy.”
Jessica stroked her sister’s head. “Okay, go get some rest.  I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Krystal then looked over at Tiffany. “You too, unnie! Promise?”
Tiffany blinked before beaming a giant smile. “Of course!”
Krystal smiled back and bowed before waving goodbye to everyone and hurrying off.
“I’m tired too,” Jessica pouted. She walked over and rested her chin on Tiffany’s shoulder.
Tiffany smiled as she felt Jessica’s fingers interlock with hers. She let out a weary sigh and
leaned her cheek against Jessica’s head.
No Other Love
207 | P a g e
“I know, I totally just wanna go to bed right now.”
“I’ll join you, then,” Jessica giggled.
“Seohyun-ah, I think you’re going to have to move in with me,” Hyoyeon said.
“Shouldn’t we marry them off before we do that?” Sunny remarked.
Hyoyeon grimaced. “I don’t care, I just don’t want them doing stuff on my bed.”
Jessica and Tiffany looked away guiltily.
“What…seriously!? I was joking!” Hyoyeon exclaimed, her eyes bulging.
“Unnie,” Seohyun frantically called out. “Did you…on my bed too?”
The two lovers continued to look away, their faces turning bright red.
Hyoyeon and Seohyun both wailed as they hugged each other in sympathy.
“I hope we never have to switch roommates,” Sooyoung muttered.
Sunny and Yuri both nodded enthusiastically.
Taeyeon scoffed.  “No room is safe.  Those two make out wherever they want.”  She shook
her body in distaste. “I don’t ever want to see those two at it again.”
“Wait, you’ve SEEN them go at it?!” Sooyoung asked in disbelief.
“Actually, we’re seeing them right now,” Sunny pointed out.
Yuri quickly snapped a picture on her cell phone.
“Yah!  Get a room!” Taeyeon shouted.  She grabbed a nearby water bottle and tossed some
water at the kissing couple, causing both girls to shriek.
“Was that really necessary?” Jessica asked grumpily. She squinted as Tiffany wiped the
water away from her face with a tissue.
“It was,” Taeyeon deadpanned.
A giggle caught her attention and she looked over to find Yuri sharing the picture on her cell
phone with Sunny while Sooyoung and Hyoyeon crowded in.
Sooyoung took one glance over Sunny’s shoulder and groaned.  “Ugh, I can’t look.  I keep
seeing Seohyun’s face coming right at me.”
“Oh? Maybe you like girls then,” Sunny postulated.
“Don’t mess with my head!”
“U-unnie, I’m really sorry,” Seohyun weakly apologized.
“It’s too late for that now!”
Taeyeon quickly marched over and yanked the phone out of Yuri’s hand before proceeding
to delete the picture.
“Hey, no fair!”
“What do you think’s gonna happen if you lose the phone, babo?”
“Ah, you’re seriously no fun,” Yuri pouted as she grumpily took back her phone, now one
picture lighter.
“Yah, Kim Taeyeon!” Jessica admonished.  “What’s wrong with you!”
“Huh? Me?” Taeyeon pointed at herself in disbelief.
“Yeah, you!  I wanted a picture of me kissing Fany!”
“Me too!” Tiffany pouted.  “Well, I mean a picture of me kissing Sica!”
Taeyeon lifted an eyebrow.
“Hey, let’s do it again!” Tiffany said enthusiastically.
Jessica nodded and looked over at Yuri. “Ready?”
“Oh! Wait!” Tiffany quickly rushed over to Yuri and handed over her cell phone.
“Me too! Me too!” Jessica said, giggling as she ran over.
Taeyeon sighed and threw up her hands in disgust. “I give up!  Maknae’s the leader now.”
“Eh!?”

“Okay, So Nyu Shi Dai, we’re ready for filming!”
No Other Love
208 | P a g e
The three girls stood up from the dressing room couch and thanked the stage assistant, who
nodded then disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared through the door.
“Okay, girls, do well,” Jooyoung said.
Seohyun looked at him in worry. “Uh, oppa?”
“Hm?”
“I need to go to the bathroom!”
“Seriously?”
“I told you you were drinking too much of that tea!” Tiffany said, laughing out loud.
“I was thirsty! And you should always drink enough fluids before you perform!”
“Alright, alright, just hurry up and go,” Jooyoung said in exasperation.
Seohyun immediately took off.
“I should probably go to make sure nothing happens to her,” he said. “You two go on ahead,
I’ll have her meet you on stage, okay?” He then rushed out the door to catch up with Seohyun.
Jessica faced Tiffany and took a hold of her hands.
“Ready?” she asked softly, a smile on her lips.
Tiffany smiled back. “I know it’s just another performance,” she said shyly, playing with
Jessica’s hands. “But, I’m kinda nervous. I mean like, even more nervous than usual. It’s weird.”
She looked into Jessica’s eyes. “Why does everything feel so different now?”
“Because it is,” Jessica answered simply. She brought a hand up and touched Tiffany’s cheek
lovingly. Tiffany closed her eyes and placed her hand atop Jessica’s.
“Don’t worry though,” she continued. “There’s one thing that’s always been the same, and
it’s definitely never, ever going to change.”
Tiffany opened her eyes and looked puzzled. “What’s that?”
“That I love you.”
Jessica leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on lips. It was a brief kiss as the dressing
room door was open, but both girls could still feel their heads swell. As Jessica pulled away, Tiffany
slowly opened her eyes and gave her girlfriend a shy grin.
“You’re getting better with those lines, you know.”
Jessica giggled and rested her forehead against Tiffany’s. She rubbed their noses together
and risked another fleeting kiss before finding herself gazing deep into her girlfriend’s eyes.
“So, you ready?” she asked again.
“Only if you’re next to me.”
“Always.”
….
“Ok, please give them a round of applause.”
The audience responded with polite applause as the brief interview concluded. Simply put,
Jessica could not have been happier. She had been distracted the entire interview, worrying over
every aspect of the song that she and Tiffany were about to sing. She felt nearly as anxious as their
debut, fretting over trivial matters such as the division of the verses all the way to the unrealistic
horror that the audience would see their true emotions and demand that they either be burned at
the stake or make out in front of them. It was as if the success of their duet would reflect the
current state and possibly future of their relationship, and she wanted it to be absolutely perfect.
But despite all the high-level, self-inflicted stress she was experiencing, she was on camera
and needed to maintain as relaxed of an appearance as possible, making sure to nod, smile, and
answer the inane questions as expected. Much to her annoyance, Tiffany had been extremely
subdued throughout the questioning, but Jessica had a suspicious feeling that was all overacting on
the girl’s part as subdued was not a word generally associated with Tiffany. Taking a sidelong
glance, she confirmed her suspicions, noting the tension in the girl’s eyes. Oddly enough, the
discovery calmed her nerves ever so slightly.
No Other Love
209 | P a g e
The PD motioned from behind the cameras, indicating for Jessica and Tiffany to step
forward to their rehearsed spots at the center of the stage. As Jessica was about to rise from the
stool, Seohyun quickly got up and stood in front of her and Tiffany. The maknae smiled and
pumped two fists in front of her face.
“Unnies, hwaiting!”
Seohyun smiled and, before either girl could react, turned and bowed to the host before
walking away.
Jessica blinked in surprise as she watched the younger girl hurry off the stage. She
exchanged looks with Tiffany feeling a warmth wash over and calm herself as she took in the
brightly smiling face. It was only when Tiffany stood up that she remembered there was a song that
needed to be sung. Lifting herself up, she took hold of her girlfriend’s hand and stepped forward to
the front stage as the stage assistants scurried about, removing the stools and setting everything up.
They had to separate as they came up to their marks and Jessica begrudgingly released
Tiffany’s hand, lingering her fingers as she lost contact with the comforting warmth. The stage
lights flipped on, washing the band in blue lighting while two beams of white light flooded down
over both girls. She took slow, anxious breaths as she waited out the all-too familiar silent
awkwardness that preceded every performance.
Jessica looked over at Tiffany and drew in her breath at the angelic sight, standing there
with her eyes closed, a tiny smile hovering on her lips. The pale dress that she wore was bathed in
the spotlight, reflecting a hazy shine. It blended with the blue stage light from behind that washed
over her back and hair, giving an unearthly radiance. Jessica burned in the image into her memory,
swearing never to lose it, though she did make a quick mental not to ask the PD for a DVD of the
broadcast—just in case her memory did fail her a teensy bit.
The piano began playing a soft, ringing melody that grew in strength and she lingered her
eyes over Tiffany one last time before she turned to face the audience and cameras. With her heart
fluttering, she took a breath and began to sing their song.
Oh - thinkin' about our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Tiffany eyes remained shut as Jessica sang. She was so lost in the clear, delicate voice that
she had nearly missed her cue. Opening her eyes, she readied herself and picked up where Jessica
left off. She fought to keep her voice under control and nearly sighed in relief when she finished her
verse. She then lowered her head, eager to hear Jessica’s voice again, and was not disappointed as
the voice sang out the chorus, causing shivers to run down her spine.
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
As the chorus neared completion, she brought her microphone up again and let her feelings
spill out as she continued the song, singing each word with conviction.
Love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Jessica’s body trembled as she fought to keep her emotions from spilling over. She gripped
her microphone tighter as she waited for her verse to begin. She struggled to keep an even face as
she began singing her lines, mindful of the cameras zooming in. Unable to control herself, she took
a chance and glanced at Tiffany the moment their lines joined.
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
No Other Love
210 | P a g e
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Her heart soared when she found Tiffany’s eyes looking back and they continued to sing the
chorus, staring into each other. She soon found herself getting lost in the intensity of the gaze and
had to look away. When she was able to glance back, to her delight, she found Tiffany staring back,
waiting for her.
Tiffany felt herself beginning to tremble and, this time, she was the one who broke the gaze.
She fought to suppress the silly grin that was growing on her face. The air between them felt so
charged, it was as if they were connected.
I've been waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along
She had put some much emotion into the verse that her voice actually cracked, but at that
point, she really did not care. When she finished, she took a deep breath and focused on Jessica’s
voice to calm her trembling body.
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
I'll be standin' there by you
There was not much time, though as she looked back at Jessica and joined her in the chorus,
believing the words that she sung with all her heart. Her love was being poured out into her voice
as she felt the love in Jessica’s. Suddenly, Jessica turned to look at her and nothing else mattered.
Tiffany was completely captivated, and for a brief, eternal moment, a future that once seemed
inconceivable, suddenly appeared before her eyes in crystal clarity. All the uncertainties and
worries melted away and were replaced with a confidence and joy, knowing that today was the
beginning of the rest of their lives. A gentle warmth crept over her entire body as Jessica continued
to gaze at her.  Tiffany immediately knew that their eyes were witnessing the same vision that they
would share together.
Yuri wiped the tears from her eyes as she watched her two friends sing. The beaming
Jessica on stage was a stark contrast from the cold eyes Yuri had become familiar with from the
very first day they met. She had always worried that her friend would never find real happiness
while she remained an idol. Never in her wildest imagination did she think that Tiffany would fall
in love with Jessica as well. The odds were nearly impossible and could only be described as fate.
She let out a wistful sigh as she watched the couple sing, staring soulfully into each other’s
eyes. When was she going to find someone? She wasn’t asking for much. Just a tall, strong, and
handsome man who was a snappy dresser—but not as well dressed as her, of course. She sighed
once more and force out the depressing thoughts, turning her attention instead to the song being
sung. She could not understand the English lyrics, but she really didn’t need to as she watched the
pair exchange glances. She smiled and felt a small lump in her throat grow. Yuri chided herself.
When did she become so emotional?
She heard a tiny sniffle and looked over to see Seohyun dabbing her eyes with the back of
her hand. Yuri smiled and fished out a small pack of tissues from her jacket pocket, handing one
over to the teary maknae.
“You okay?” she whispered.
Seohyun silently nodded as she dabbed at her tears. She looked at Yuri and smiled. “They
look really happy together, don’t they?”
“They look perfect.” She turned back to the couple and felt the lump return. “Love is always
perfect.”
“Unnie! You’re so cheesy!”
No Other Love
211 | P a g e
Yuri smiled and dotted Seohyun on the nose. “It won’t sound so cheesy when you find your
perfect man.”
“Ew! Don’t talk about that!” the younger girl whispered hoarsely.
“Oh, perfect woman then? That works out since you can ask your roommate for ‘advice’.”
Yuri wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
“Unnie!” Seohyun protested in a strangled voice. She puffed her cheek in annoyance.
Yuri giggled and placed an affectionate arm around the pouting girl’s shoulder before they
both turned their attention back to the stage.
Overwhelmed by the flood of emotions yet again, Tiffany tore her eyes away from Jessica as
she continued to sing. But the moment her gaze left, she found herself yearning to look back.
Goosebumps rose on the back of her neck and she knew that Jessica was looking at her. She had to
resist however, else she would forget the rest of her lines and probably kiss the girl on the spot.
Instead, she took another deep breath and threw more passion into her voice in an attempt to
release her bursting heart.
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Jessica’s body trembled in ecstasy as she felt herself overcome with an indescribable joy.
For the first time ever there was a sense of completion in her life. She sang the final words of the
song and closed her eyes, taking in a shuddering breath. She was only vaguely aware of the
applause as she fought to calm her soaring emotions, but she definitely noticed the warm hand that
found its way into hers. Looking up she found Tiffany’s smiling face in front of her and she shyly
smiled in return. They held the gaze a moment longer before turning towards the audience and
bowed. She shaded her eyes against the spotlight and spotted Yuri and Seohyun, off to the side,
both standing and applauding.
Jessica and Tiffany gave another deep bow to both the crowd and the host before hurrying
off stage. They continued bowing in thanks to the entire staff as made their way past the cameras,
rushing over to embrace Yuri and Seohyun before the four girls headed back to the dressing room,
all hand in hand.
EPILOGUE , THE FIRST :   OH, LADY BE GOOD!  
Jessica pulled aside the string curtain draped over the full-length window of the night club,
staring absentmindedly at the lingering rays of the sun as it set over the Seoul skyline.  Glancing
down at the street, she spotted a handful of fans crowding the sidewalks, some armed with rather
large telescoping lenses, pointed in her direction.  She self-consciously placed a hand down at the
hem of her skirt, pressing the hot pink fabric close to her body and wondered if she should have
chosen a dress slightly longer, or at the very least, one with fewer ruffles.  She quickly dismissed the
notion as she recalled Tiffany’s expression the moment she had stepped out of the dressing room in
her girlfriend’s favorite color. She had never seen a person’s eyes shift from disappointment to
gawking in such a short amount of time.
A cold hand suddenly pressed against her neck and she let out a startled shriek.  Turning
around, she glared at Tiffany’s grinning face and slapped the girl on the arm, pointing threateningly
before turning back around in a huff.
“I think we’re giving the fans outside a show,” Tiffany said in amusement as she rested her
chin on Jessica’s shoulder.
Jessica was sorely tempted to ask her girlfriend if she wanted to give a bigger show when a
cameraman suddenly appeared, placing his lens in front of her face.  She resisted the urge to give
the cameraman a nasty glare and instead continued to silently look out the window as she leaned
backwards into the warmth of Tiffany’s body.
“You know, I’m kinda surprised I didn’t find you sleeping somewhere,” Tiffany said after a
moment of silence.
“I was. I just woke up.”
“Figures. Only you could take a nap in this kind of noise.”
They fell into silence again as Jessica angrily wished the camera away. She was ready to ask
the cameraman what he found so interesting about two girls looking out a window when she felt
Tiffany straighten and lift her chin.
“’Kay, I’m gonna go,” she said abruptly, stepping away.
“Why? Where’re you going?” Jessica said in distress as she felt Tiffany’s warmth leave her
back.  She let go of the curtain and looked over her shoulder.
Instead of replying, Tiffany simply waved a hand backwards and disappeared into the
crowd. Jessica looked at the camera, but smartly kept her face neutral. The cameraman did not
look the least bit guilty and continued to train the camera on her face a few more moments before
walking off to look for more interesting subjects to film.
Jessica blew at her bangs in annoyance and blinked when her girlfriend suddenly
reappeared from a different direction.
“Is he gone?” Tiffany asked with a grin on her face.
Jessica quickly looked around before she wrapped Tiffany up in a hug and answered, “Yup.”
“Great! Now we get some alone time!  Well, sorta alone,” Tiffany amended as a stream of
people continually walked past them.
Jessica laughed and held her tightly at the waist.  She then paused and gave a speculative
look.
“Do you think we have some time?” she asked Tiffany.
“Mm, I guess. I think everyone’s busy setting up. I heard the PD say something about a
wrap up meeting.”
Jessica made a face.
“I don’t think it’s going to be for a while, though. They said they wanted to film us just
hanging around the club and stuff.”
Oh, Lady Be Good!
213 | P a g e
Jessica checked her surroundings again and found only a few onlookers nervously watching
from a distance, discreetly taking pictures with their cellphones.  At that moment, an announcement
by the DJ boomed over the speakers, notifying the crowd of free giveaways and some sort of
audience participation.
Jessica grinned. Perfect.  “C’mon!” she said as she took hold of Tiffany’s wrist and dragged
her hurriedly through the crowd, making her way through the club until she spotted their managers,
Seongkook, Jooyoung, and Sungwoo standing around a small table.
“Oppa!” she called out to Seongkook. “I need that box I gave you.”
“Huh? Oh, okay.”  Seongkook dug into a bag on the table and pulled out a rectangular case.
“Thanks, oppa!” She took the case and paused, looking at her manager suspiciously. “You
didn’t open it did you?”
“What? No!”
She peered closely at the case, specifically where she had affixed a piece tape over the
opening.
“You don’t trust me?!”
“Now I do!” she said sweetly, before quickly leading Tiffany away.
“Hey! Hey! Don’t go running off!  They said they’re going to do more filming!”
“We won’t!” Tiffany called out over her shoulder before looking back at Jessica. “Uh, we
won’t, right?”
“Of course not,” Jessica replied as she led them away from the growing crowd by the DJ.  Her
eyes constantly scanned the walls in hopes of finding a stairwell, or even just a quiet area where the
two could talk.  Eventually, she spotted a door in the wall, partially obscured by a potted plant and a
large poster on a stand.  When she came closer she could read a small sign the door labeled,
“Electrical Closet – Staff Only”.  Wary of any fans stalking them, she paused in front of the large
poster, pretending to read it.
“Uh, Jess? What are you—”
At that moment, a large group passed by them and Jessica quickly cracked the door open
and hurried in, violently yanking Tiffany along.
“You didn’t have to pull so hard,” Tiffany complained when the door closed.
“I just wanted to make sure no one saw us,” Jessica said, fumbling along the wall for a light
switch.
“Aren’t you being a little paranoid?”
“There’s no way we’re going to go through that again,” she replied in a serious tone.  Her
hands ran over a switch and she flipped it on. The room filled with the dim yellow light of a single
light bulb.
“Then why are we sneaking around in the middle of a busy club!”
“Because I wanted some privacy.”
Tiffany sighed in exasperation as she looked around the tiny electrical closet.
“Uh Jess, is it really safe to be in here?” she asked nervously, eyeing the various the wires
that ran up and down the walls, converging at a giant metal box in the center marked with the word
‘DANGER’ emblazoned in bold print.
“It’s okay,” Jessica reassured. “If it wasn’t safe, they would have locked the door.”
“Somehow, I don’t find that logic comforting.”
“Will you stop thinking about that?” Jessica said, turning the other girl around to face her.
She then held out the case she received from Seongkook.
“Here.”
“For me?”
Jessica smiled and nodded.
“What is it?”
“It’s a gift, obviously. If I told you, it would defeat the purpose.”
Oh, Lady Be Good!
214 | P a g e
Tiffany gave her a confused look. “But you already gave me a birthday gift.”
Jessica grimaced as she tried to push away thoughts of that disastrous day.
“This isn’t a birthday gift. It’s for our 111
th
day anniversary!” she explained. With that, she
wrapped her arms about Tiffany’s neck and met her girlfriend’s soft lips with her own.  She felt
Tiffany initially pull back in surprise before immediately relaxing into her body.
Tiffany let out a soft sigh when they eventually pulled apart.  She slowly opened her eyes
and gave Jessica a moon-eyed smile.
“That’s kind of a random anniversary, don’t ya think?”
Jessica grinned and leaned in for another kiss. “You better get used to it, ‘cause I’m going to
take every chance I can to celebrate something with you.”
“Let’s hope those celebrations don’t turn out like my birthday did.  I don’t think I can
survive many more of those.”
“Can we not talk about that, please?” Jessica wailed.
“But it was funny how—”
Jessica silenced Tiffany with another kiss.
“Wait, wait,” Tiffany breathed as she attempted to break the kiss.  “Don’t you want me to
open it now?”
“Hmm?”  Jessica incoherently muttered as her lips traveled downwards, roving along
Tiffany’s neck.
Tiffany gasped and put a hand on Jessica’s head, pressing it down, before she continued
weakly, “Th-the gift.”
“Can’t we just keep doing this?”
“But I-I wanna open it!” Tiffany breathlessly protested.
Jessica sighed in disappointment and reluctantly pulled her lips off Tiffany’s neck. It was
probably for the best she reasoned, as leaving a hickey on Tiffany right before filming would have
been a bad idea.
She took a step back and watched as Tiffany excitedly pulled the tape off and opened the
case.  At the sight of the necklace, her eyes brightened momentarily before her brow furrowed in
confusion and she looked up at Jessica in perplexity.
“Um, isn’t this your necklace?”
“Yeah, I hid the real gift under the lining just in case Kookie-oppa opened it.”
“Oh, then why didn’t you tell me?”
“I dunno, it was more fun to see your reaction.”
Tiffany gave her a look before turning her attention back to the case. She lifted the lining up
and immediately slammed it back down, her face bright red.
“What’s wrong? Wrong color? Not your size?” Jessica said with a wide grin.
“Jess,” Tiffany warned, the smile on her face betrayed her threatening tone.
“I couldn’t find a matching top, if that’s what you were wondering.”
“You’re horrible!” her girlfriend exclaimed. “This ‘anniversary’ was just an excuse to buy
these panties, huh?”
“First off, it’s a G-string. Second, maybe.”
Tiffany swatted her on the arm.
“Ow! Hey, you can still wear it! They’re perfectly good!”
“Do you know how uncomfortable wearing one of these things is?” Tiffany said, shaking the
case in front of her face.
Jessica raised her eyebrows in interest. “Oh, so you’ve worn one before?”
Tiffany smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Wait, what? Seriously, tell me! Have you?!”
“Yah! Pervert!”
“How can you say that when I took the time to give you an anniversary gift?” Jessica pouted.  
Oh, Lady Be Good!
215 | P a g e
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Tiffany said with a sigh. “It was very…thoughtful of you.”
“So that means you’ll wear it?”
“Uh, yeah.  But you better not be expecting a show!”
“But, I mean, since I bought them and all, shouldn’t I at least get one peek? You know, just to
make sure they matched your, um, eyes?”
“Jess…”
“Aw come on. I’m going to see you in your undies when we change for shows.”
“Are you crazy?!  I’m not wearing this during a performance!”
“Well then can’t you just tell me when you’re wearing them?”
“Jess!”
“Fine, fine.”
“…”
“…”
“W-what?” Tiffany looked at Jessica in confusion.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Put it on!”
“Now?!”
“But you said so!”
“I meant later!  Like, way later!”
“You’re no fun.”
Tiffany glared, but almost immediately, cracked and burst out laughing.
“Why is my girlfriend such a perv?” she pleaded to the ceiling.
“Hey!” Jessica protested. “For your information, that was all a joke!”
Tiffany raised an eyebrow.
“Well, sorta. I mean it was a joke, but if you were okay with it…”
She received a sound whack on the arm.
“I’m serious! It was a joke!”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
“I mean it!  Look in the case again.”
Tiffany gave her a suspicious look before reopening the case. She removed the lining once
and pulled out the barely-there unmentionable, letting it dangle on her finger as she looked at
Jessica one more time.
“Well, at least it’s pink,” she conceded.
“See? I put thought into it,” Jessica said smugly. “Hurry up and look in the case!”
“I swear, if there’s something X-rated in here—”
The words died in her mouth as she stared, wide-eyed, into the case.
“I figured you’d want another one since you lost yours,” Jessica explained.  “I went to a copy
shop and got mine scanned and touched up. It actually looks better than mine,” she said with a
frown.
Jessica smiled as she watched Tiffany pull out the tiny laminate sticker picture from the
time she had been forced to take enter the sticker booth with Tiffany those many years ago.  It had
been their first one together.
“How did you know?” Tiffany looked at her guiltily.
“How could I not?” she replied.  “Every time I mentioned it, you’d always change the subject
and look like you were about to die of a heart attack.”
“Oh,” Tiffany said sheepishly, placing the sticker, panties, and necklace back in the case. She
then wrapped her arms around Jessica’s neck and planted a tender kiss on the lips.
“Thank you for the perfect gift.”
“Well I am the perfect girlfriend.”
Oh, Lady Be Good!
216 | P a g e
Tiffany snorted.  “More like pervy girlfriend,” she amended.
“I can live with that.”
Jessica leaned in for another kiss when her cellphone suddenly chimed.  Surprised, she took
a step back and pulled out her phone.
“Are they looking for us?” Tiffany asked.
“No, it’s just a text,” she said, furrowing her brow as she did not recognize the sender’s
address. Glancing over the message her eyes widened in surprise.
“Uh, Fany,” she said in an agitated voice. “I uh, need to go look for someone right now. It’s
kinda important.”
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad,” she reassured when she noticed the worried look that
Tiffany gave her. “I promise I’ll tell you everything. I just need to deal with this right now, okay?”
Tiffany nodded reluctantly and Jessica smiled in relief, giving her girlfriend a quick peck on
the cheek before heading back out into the club.
She cautiously inched the door open and quickly slipped out. She kept close to the walls,
walking as nonchalantly as possible towards the back of the club. She cursed that her hot pink
dress stood out so much, but thankfully the cameramen appeared to be collected around the DJ,
where there was still a sizable the crowd, and setting up in a cleared out area nearby, where she
assumed the filming would begin.
Jessica felt the stares of the club-goers as she walked by, but she forced herself to maintain
her leisurely pace as her eyes frantically searched for a familiar face.  When a sound technician
suddenly appeared a few feet in front of her, she panicked and immediately veered to the left,
running noisily into a guest. She quickly apologized and kept her heard down, awkwardly scurrying
away towards the back of the club.
While the back lacked the madness of the front of the club, it was far from desolate.  Dozens
of guests sat around the tables, talking and laughing over drinks while a steady stream of people
moved about.  Jessica walked towards a collection of empty tables lined along the wall and frowned
when she could not spot a single person in the immediately vicinity. She checked her cell phone
again, verifying that she had not imagined the whole thing.  A voice called out from behind her in
English.
“Hey, Darling.”
Jessica froze. The sound of the familiar voice sent a thrill up and down her spine.  She
turned around hesitantly, almost afraid that the person would disappear the moment she looked.
When she finally turned, her eyes widened in disbelief as she beheld the unmistakable honeyblonde hair, the familiar wavy locks, and the ever present smirk that accompanied the woman like a
familiar jacket.  Karen D’Aubigne was exactly how she remembered. No, Jessica corrected herself.
Standing in front of her, exuding her familiar quiet confidence and wrapped in a slinky sliver dress,
was a far more mature, sexier version.  The sight made her heart leap before feelings of guilt
immediately surfaced.   
Jessica was confused. She did not know what she was supposed to feel.  Naturally, she
wanted to be mad. Mad at the woman who had broken her heart.  At the same time, she also
wanted run away.  To run from the embarrassment she felt over the memories of her own naivety
and the way that she had treated Tiffany.  However, she also found herself unable to move,
overwhelmed with the warm feelings of nostalgia triggered by memories of the two months that
they had shared.  
“No ‘hello’?”
Jessica blinked. She had never heard Karen’s voice so uncertain before.  Looking closer, she
noticed the signs of worry around the woman’s eyes as well as her hands and feet shifting
nervously. It was extremely disconcerting, to say the least.
“Well, I guess it would be hard for you to say something, huh?” Karen continued. “Listen, I
don’t want to impose or anything, I just—”
Oh, Lady Be Good!
217 | P a g e
“H-hi.”
Jessica nervously smiled before tentatively stepping forward. She lifted her arms to hug at
the same time Karen extended a hand. Jessica quickly dropped an arm and stretched out her hand
while Karen lifted both arms. Eventually the two women settled for an extremely awkward hug.
Jessica pulled back and gave Karen a confused look.  “How did you get my number?” she
asked.
“Secret,” Karen replied, the familiar smirk had returned. “I wanted to email you a few days
ago, but I didn’t think you still had the same email, Miss Famous.”
“Actually, I do,” Jessica muttered.  “I made that email just for you, but after you left…I dunno,
I just couldn’t delete it.”
“Nostalgic?”
“I guess so.”
Karen pulled back from the hug and looked at Jessica with a frown. “That’s not healthy, you
know.”
“I’m not sure if you’re the one I need to be taking advice from on healthy behavior.”
Karen blinked and Jessica held her breath, unsure if she had angered the woman. She
sighed in relief when Karen finally returned the smile.
“Point taken.”
She then noticed the older woman looking over her shoulder.  Twisting her neck, she
discovered a handful of onlookers standing a several feet away staring at the pair in idle curiosity, a
few snapping pictures with their cellphone. The moment she turned, they quickly averted their
eyes and began walking off in different directions.
“I guess speaking English to a celebrity in a hot pink dress is bound to get some stares, huh?”
Karen said wryly. She took hold of Jessica’s wrist and led her over to the empty tables lined up
against the wall. She chose a table at the end of the row and pulled out a chair for Jessica before
sitting down on the opposite side.
Wary of the time she had left, Jessica decided to cut directly to the chase.
“So…why’re you here?”
Karen flashed another nervous smile that Jessica found so incongruous on the woman.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Me?”
Karen nodded.
“For my benefit or yours?”
“Mostly mine, I guess.” The older woman gave Jessica a sheepish grin before her face turned
serious. She leaned forward and placed a hand on top of Jessica’s.
“I’m so sorry, darling,” Karen said in a strained whisper as she attempted to speak softly, yet
loudly enough to be heard over the blaring music. She quickly held up her hands.  “I know, I know,
that doesn’t make up for everything I did, but…I really am.”
She bowed her head and lowered her voice again.
“I felt so miserable when I got in that cab. I know you must’ve felt worse, but you gotta
know that I was hurting too!  I never wanted to do that to you.  Not a day went by when I didn’t
worry about you and if I broke you or anything.”
Jessica fidgeted uncomfortably as the older woman looked at her and continued.  “I
should’ve never done that to you, Jessica. I know I don’t deserve your trust anymore, but…you have
to believe me, I honestly, genuinely, really still want to be your friend.”
Jessica blinked. “R-really?” she asked, her voice a mixture of uncertainty and nerves.
“Of course! No matter what happened when I left, it doesn’t change the fact that I truly
enjoyed spending time with you!”
Jessica looked away as she felt herself blush.
Oh, Lady Be Good!
218 | P a g e
“Ah! You’re blushing!” Karen squealed.  She sniffed loudly and carefully wiped away her
tears.
“No I’m not,” Jessica muttered.
“Yes you are! You always tilt your head away like that to hide it!”
“I was just embarrassed, that’s all!  I mean, won’t people think you’re my mother if we hang
out?”
“Hey! I’m not that old!”
The two shared a smile before settling into a comfortable silence.  After a few moments,
Karen spoke up again.
“So really, how’ve you been?”
“Okay, I guess.” Jessica pursed her lips in thought. “Getting some more sleep would be nice.”
“I don’t think there’ll ever be enough hours in the day to satisfy your need for sleep,” Karen
said with a laugh. She patted Jessica’s hands affectionately. “I’m just glad you got to follow your
dream and everything’s working out.”
Jessica smirked. “Well things are definitely starting to look up.”
“Did something bad happen?” Karen’s brows furrowed in concern.
“It’s fine now,” she reassured. “We just hit a bump in the road a few weeks ago.”
“Oh? Nothing big, I hope.”
“Uh, medium-sized, I guess.” Jessica chewed the inside of her cheek. She was still a bit
nervous talking about Anna. She did not want to remember that the woman existed.
“Ah,” Karen said, letting the matter rest, much to Jessica’s relief.   Karen, however, was not
done. The older woman leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. “’We’?”
“Huh?”
“You said ‘we’.”
“I did?”
A grin broke out on Karen’s face.  “So tell me, who is ‘we’?”  
“Eh?  ‘We’? Uh, who is ‘we’?” Jessica stuttered. “It’s ‘us’! I mean, not you and me, but you
know, all nine girls! Us! So Nyuh Shi Dae!”
“Uh-huh.”
Before Karen could continue to press her, a pair of arms suddenly came to rest on top of the
older woman’s shoulders.
“Ah-hah! So you’re leaving me for a celebrity, huh?”
A bright voice startled both of them and Jessica lifted her eyes to find a woman in her early
twenties looking at her mischievously.  The unknown woman then rested her chin on top of Karen’s
head.
“I’m getting too old for you, huh?” she pouted. “Is that why you’re going for the younger
ones?”
“Oh my god,” Karen muttered as she buried her face into her hand while Jessica could only
stare in fascination.
The mysterious woman’s grin broke out into a full smile and she straightened up before
leaning over the table to extend an arm out towards Jessica.
“Hi! I’m Vicky, you must be Jessica!”
Jessica’s eyes widened.  She was pretty sure that Victoria had been the name of the best
friend that Karen had fallen head over heels in love with.
“Uh, yeah. H-hi, nice to meet you,” she stammered with a strained smile.
As she limply took hold of Vicky’s hand, she could not deny the pang of jealously as she eyed
the stunning woman’s smooth, alabaster skin, her watery, puppy-dog eyes, and her delicate, moist,
lips.  The back of her luminous black hair was pinned up in a messy ponytail, allowing strands of the
raven locks to frame her exquisite face.   
Oh, Lady Be Good!
219 | P a g e
She knew she should not, but Jessica wanted to despise this mature young woman in front
of her.  Her eyes then fell to the top of Vicky’s low cut blue dress and she felt her eyebrow twitch.
The woman was definitely mature.
“You know, my little brother’s a huge fan,” Vicky said as she made her way around the table.
“Would you mind if we took a picture together? He’ll go insane!”
“Vicky,” Karen said in embarrassment. “I think Jessica’s pretty busy—”
“Oh, it’s okay! It’ll be real quick, you don’t mind, do you?”
“Huh? Oh, uh no, I guess not.”
“You see?” Vicky said with a smug smile that made Karen look away in embarrassment.
Once she was next to Jessica, she pulled a tiny camera out of her clutch and wrapped an arm
around the younger girl. Jessica forced an awkward smile and fought against an odd mixture of
irrational anger and excitement as she felt her arm pressed against the woman’s ample bosom.
The flash went off and Vicky said a quick thank you, before returning the camera to her
clutch and placing her hands on the table.
“So, what were we talking about?”
“Vicky,” Karen said warningly.
Vicky quickly held up her hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, I get it. That’s my cue.”
“Your cue was fifteen minutes ago when I told you to wait until I brought her over to
introduce you two!”
“Well I got impatient, sue me.  And there was some creepy guy trying to hit on me!”
Jessica held her breath as Karen gave an icy stare.
“Is that the thanks I get for stealing her manager’s phone?” Vicky said with a pout.
Jessica looked at Karen in shock. “Is that how you got my number?”
“We gave it back,” Karen said defensively.  She then looked sternly at her girlfriend. “And
why haven’t you left yet?”
“C’mon Karen, I really wanted to see what she was like!” Vicky protested. She then looked
at Jessica. “She can’t stop talking about you, ya know? She says your name like you were a puppy
she had when she was a kid. You have no idea how adorable it is!”
“Vicky!”
“Okay, okay! I’m going!  I’ll let you two catch up. If you need me, I’ll be at the bar. Maybe I
can flirt with the bartender and get a free drink.”
“It’s a dry party,” Karen said, bemused.
“What? Seriously?”
Jessica nodded when Vicky looked at her for confirmation.
The woman’s shoulders dropped and she let out an unflattering grunt. “Fine, if you need me,
I’ll be trying to get a free cherry coke.”
“Please, take your time,” Karen said dryly. She turned back to Jessica and gave an
embarrassed grin.
“Is that…?” Jessica left the question hanging.
Karen nodded with a bright smile.
Jessica marveled at the transformation of Karen’s face. She absently wondered if that was
how she looked when she thought about Tiffany.
“So what happened to, um, you know, your boyfriend?” Jessica asked curiously.
Karen sighed as her smile turned wry, making Jessica feel slightly guilty. “I broke up with
him pretty much the moment I came back from Korea.”
“Oh.”
An awkward silence fell over the two as Jessica attempted to get her thoughts in order.
“Then, how did you and Vicky…?  Did you call her after you broke it off with him?”
“No, nothing that easy,” Karen said with a chuckle.  “I pretty much just graduated then got a
job.  You know, the whole ‘try to live a normal life’ thing.  It was weird though, for some reason, I
Oh, Lady Be Good!
220 | P a g e
just kept thinking about going back to Korea. I don’t know why.” She looked at Jessica and smiled.
“That must be the real Sica effect, huh?”
Jessica felt her cheeks grow warm.
“I actually got a job here in Seoul about a year and a half ago.  It was kinda random. I just
saw a job posting online and applied on a whim.”
“How come you didn’t see me sooner?” Jessica asked in an injured tone.
“I had no idea how to get in touch with you,” Karen replied.  “At least that’s what I told
myself. I kept chickening out every time I was about to send you an email. Then suddenly you
started showing up on TV everywhere and I just figured you would have changed your email
already.”
“So then…how did you and Vicky…?”
Karen smiled as her eyes took on a distant look. “Long story. Maybe some other time.”
Jessica frowned in disappointment, but before she could plead, Karen reached out and took
hold of her hands.
“Hey, I want you to know it’s not impossible to be happy, okay?  If you really feel that
strongly about someone, there’s a reason for it.  That someone’s gonna feel it too, even if she doesn’t
know it yet. So don’t be afraid. You never know what’s going to happen, you understand?”
Jessica smiled. “I think so—”
“Jess?”
Jessica jumped at the sound of the voice and quickly removed her hands from Karen’s. She
turned around and found Tiffany standing behind her, a look of worry written all over the girl’s face.
“They told us we, uh, needed to be ready in like, 10 minutes,” Tiffany said. She pulled out a
chair next to Jessica and quickly sat down, clinging possessively to Jessica’s arm.
Karen looked at Tiffany speculatively before her eyes widened in realization. She then
turned her eyes to Jessica and raised an eyebrow, an amused smile playing on her lips.  Jessica could
only smile nervously as she began to understand the discomfort that Karen had felt when Vicky
appeared.
Karen looked back at Tiffany and gave the girl a mischievous smile. “Hi, I’m Karen!” she said,
extending a hand. “Nice to meet you!”
“Stephanie,” Tiffany replied perfunctorily.
Jessica’s discomfort quickly transformed into thorough embarrassment and she pinched
Tiffany’s thigh, eliciting a yelp.
“What was that for?!” Tiffany exclaimed, slapping Jessica on the arm.
“Something wrong, deary?” Karen asked Jessica, her eyes twinkling with mirth.
“’Deary’?” Tiffany looked at Karen angrily as she exhaled loudly from her nostrils.
“Um, Karen’s an old friend,” Jessica quickly explained. She could feel her throat growing dry.
“She was the one who sent me the text. We were just catching up.”
Tiffany crossed her arms and blew out another angry stream of air from her nose. “Oh
really? Well I’m glad, because you two seem so close.”
Jessica winced.
“You know Stephanie,” Karen began. She placed a finger on her lips in thought. “I could’ve
sworn I’ve seen you somewhere before.”
“Well I am on TV a lot,” Tiffany answered primly.
“No, no, this was a long time ago. I’m thinking you were maybe in high school?  Oh well, it
must be my imagination.”
“It must be.”
Jessica’s discomfort knew no bounds as the other two women at the table sized each other
up.  The tension in Tiffany’s face was in stark contrast to Karen’s gleeful smile. The older woman
was obviously enjoying herself immensely at Jessica’s own expense.
“So how old are you Karen?” Tiffany asked stiffly. “Like, thirty?”
Oh, Lady Be Good!
221 | P a g e
Karen raised an eyebrow. “Do I look thirty?”
“Well I did ask the question.”
“Okay, Stephanie!” Jessica exclaimed. “Thanks for coming here to let me know! Why don’t
you go get your makeup touched up and I’ll wrap things up with Karen!”
“But I wanna stay—wait why? Is something wrong with it?”
“I think your mascara’s smudged a bit. It’s not that bad.”
Jessica pleaded with her eyes while Tiffany looked at her doubtfully.
“Fine,” Tiffany sighed, relenting. She stood up from the table and gave Karen a curt nod. “It
was nice meeting you.”
“Likewise,” Karen said with a genuine smile.
Tiffany sniffed in annoyance and left.
“She’s not…normally like that,” Jessica said, unable to really say anything else.
“I’m sure,” Karen said with a suppressed smile.
“Stop that!”
“Stop what? I’m just glad to see you’re doing just ‘okay’.”
“Unnie!” Jessica wailed as she slumped over the table.
“I haven’t heard that in a while!” Karen said, laughing. “I can’t believe you made me waste
my breath trying to give you all that advice. And here I was, thinking that I was being so helpful and
wise to you!”
“Sorry,” Jessica said as she sat up, still keeping her pout.
“I’ll only forgive so long as you tell me everything!” Karen said eagerly. “How long have you
been going out? Is it serious? How far have you gotten?”
“Unnie! How can you say something like that?!”
Karen laughed. “I’m curious!  Besides, don’t you want any help from your unnie?”
“Oh! Can y—nevermind.”
“Wait! What was it! What did you want to say? C’mon, tell me!”
Jessica nervously bit her lip before continuing.
“Well, I was just wondering. If you and Vicky ever, ya know?”  She lifted her hand in the air
and made a vague gesture.
Karen looked at her in confusion before her eyes widened in realization. She quickly leaned
in and lowered her voice. “Oh! Are you two…?”
“What? No!” Jessica spluttered. “I just—I just wanted some advice for, you know, future
reference.”
“What’s there to learn? Just do to her whatever you do to yourself!”
“H-huh?” Jessica felt her ears catch fire.
“Don’t act all innocent now!”
“Unnie, please!”
“Please what?”
“Rgh! Nevermind!” Jessica folded her arms in huff. Even after four years, Karen still knew
how to push all her buttons.
“Okay, okay, you really want to know?”
Jessica nodded eagerly and leaned in as Karen whispered into her ear. Ten seconds later,
she abruptly let out a squeal and scrambled to her feet, her face now beet red while Karen laughed
out loud.  She pouted her lips and plopped back down on to the seat, folding her arms once again.
Karen composed herself and looked at Jessica sympathetically.  “Don’t sweat it right now,
okay?  Just take your time and it’ll happen when it happens. It’s not a race.”
Jessica sighed and nodded her head.
“Well, judging by the way Tiffany is staring at me from that table,” Karen said as she began
to get out of her chair. “I think it’s time for me to go now.”
Oh, Lady Be Good!
222 | P a g e
Jessica twisted her neck and caught Tiffany at a nearby table, quickly ducking her head
behind a drink menu.
Jessica sighed in exasperation and quickly stood up with Karen. “Can’t you stay until we’re
done filming?  I still want to talk,” she begged.
“Sorry darling, today’s Thursday, I got work tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she said petulantly.
“Don’t worry, I promise we’ll meet up again.”
“Promise?”
“Of course! Do you know how much I miss your kimbap!” Karen looked at her earnestly. “I
have never had another kimbap that tasted that good. Ask Vicky, it seriously pisses her off!”
Jessica laughed and quickly prayed that she would not forget to call her mother and beg her
to make some more.
“I’ll make sure to email you when I get home, okay?”
“Oh unnie, wait! I’ll text you my new email, okay?” Jessica said hesitantly. “I think I’m going
to delete that account.”
Karen smiled. “You better.”
Jessica hugged the older woman tightly before releasing her and waving goodbye.  This time,
however, Jessica did not feel like throwing up. Instead, a warm glow settled in her stomach as she
watched Karen walk away.
“Bye Steph!” Karen called out over her shoulder.
“B-bye,” came the weak reply.
Jessica put her hands on her hips and walked towards the table where Tiffany sat, the girl’s
face still covered by the menu.
Jessica placed a finger on the top of the menu and slowly pushed it down.
“Uh, I was just making sure you got back in time,” Tiffany said with a sheepish smile.
“Uh-huh, and how much more time was that?”
Tiffany checked her naked wrist and looked back at Jessica, guiltily.  “Um, I don’t know? PD
said she’d call us when they’re ready.”
“I figured as much.”
Tiffany stood up and looked over Jessica’s shoulder. Jessica turned around and spotted
Karen at the bar, her arm over Vicky’s shoulders as the two were laughing and chatting animatedly.
“Was that…?” Tiffany asked, leaving the words hanging as she continued to stare.
“Yup.”
“She’s pretty.”
Jessica gave a sidelong glance at Tiffany, who stood there with her arms folded, trying to
look casual. Jessica smiled.
“Yeah, but honestly, I prefer the one I’ve got.”
Tiffany turned to look at her with a pained face. “Don’t patronize me.”
“I’m serious!”
“How do I know you’re not lying?” her girlfriend asked sullenly.
“Because, you’ll always be the most precious thing I took a chance on.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tiffany raised an eyebrow. “You sound like an old man.”
Jessica laughed. “I said the same thing too, back then.”
“Huh?”
“It means,” Jessica leaned in and smiled as she discreetly pinched Tiffany’s bottom, “sarang
hae yo, Hwang Miyoung-ee!”
“Ya! Jessica Jung! You are SO dead!”
Jessica shrieked and took off as Tiffany chased her around the club, both girls laughing.
EPILOGUE, THE SECOND :   FOR YOU, FOR ME, FOR   EVERMORE
- September, 2018
“Hi unnie, we’re at baggage claim now!”
“Oh, already?  So how was France?”
“It was so fun, but too expensive!” Seohyun complained.
Tiffany laughed as she cradled the phone against her ear. “It’s your second honeymoon.
You’re not supposed to act like a cheap ahjusshi.”
“I know, but Nicole wouldn’t stop buying things!  Ow! What?  It’s true!”
There was a sound of rustling and Nicole’s voice suddenly came over the phone.
“Unnie, did she tell you about that Chanel dress she bought?”
“It was one!” Seohyun’s voice protested as more rustling occurred.  “And I didn’t go and buy
a whole shoe store!”
“FIVE! It was only FIVE! And they were custom made for my feet, so it would’ve been a
waste to only get one!  And now I have a pair for every occasion!”
“You forgot to get one for your funeral,” Seohyun muttered.
“Okay you two, stop fighting.  If Jessica sees you two arguing when she arrives, she’s going
to buy you both tickets to Siberia.”
“Sica unnie’s picking us up?  How did that happen? She never stays more than three feet
away from you.”
“I know,” Tiffany said with a sigh. “Did you know she started leaving the bathroom door
open just so she could keep an eye on everything?”
“Huh? That’s so unsanitary!”
“Yeah, she was driving me insane, so I made her go pick you guys up.”
“I’m kind of surprised she actually agreed to that.”
“She didn’t. I had to get Yuri, Yoona, and Hyoyeon to drag her out of the house.”
Seohyun laughed. “That makes more sense now.”
“Ow, ow.”  Tiffany winced as she shifted uncomfortably in the sofa chair, placing a hand
against her lower back.
“Are you okay?”  The worry was evident in Seohyun’s voice.
“Yeah, my back’s just been cramping up all day, it really sucks.”
“You have to be careful! Did you go see the doctor?”
“No,” Tiffany sighed. “That’s why I got rid of Jessica.  It’s like, every other day she drags me
to the hospital if I make a single noise.”
“But you need to be cautious in your condition!”
“I know, I know, but it’s always nothing and I think the doctor’s starting to get annoyed at
Jessica.”
“She’s worried about you.”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. I think I’m just getting tired of sitting around all day.  I wanna go
shopping or something.”
“Well, it’ll be over soon. Just be patient, unnie.”
“Yeah, I know,” Tiffany sighed once more.
“So who’s with you then?”
“Taengoo left to get some stuff for dinner; so it’s just Sunny watching over me.”
“What about me?” Sooyoung complained. She rolled on to her back and looked up.
Tiffany glared at the woman lying on the floor in front of the television. “You’ve been
texting your husband the whole time! And eating my chocolate!”
For You, For Me, For Evermore
224 | P a g e
“I can’t help it if I miss him!” Sooyoung wailed. “I hate it whenever he goes on a trip.”
“Yeah, yeah!  I don’t see Hyo moping every time her hubby’s gone!”
“I’m not going to comment on that only because of your condition!” Sooyoung sniffed,
popping another chocolate into her mouth.
“Uh, so when did Jessica unnie and the others leave?” Seohyun asked
Tiffany glanced at the clock on the mantle. “Uh, like an hour ago, I think. They should be
there soon.”
The sound of the front door opening and closing was followed by Taeyeon’s voice.
“I’m back!”
Sunny came out of the kitchen, her hands rubbing a dishcloth.  “Did you get the beef and the
garlic?” she asked.
“Yup,” Taeyeon answered, holding up a shopping bag. She then tossed another shopping
bag onto the coffee table. “Sweet bread was on sale, so I bought a bunch.”
“Yay!”
Sunny cheered and rushed towards the table while Sooyoung scrambled to her knees and
began digging through the bag. Taeyeon pulled out a plastic-wrapped bun and took it over to
Tiffany.  Tiffany frowned as she inspected the package.
“You don’t have any with taro inside?”
“Sorry, just red bean.”
“I’m really craving taro,” Tiffany muttered as she sullenly removed the bun from the wrap.
She then grabbed at her back again, shifting uncomfortably.
“Still cramping up?” Taeyeon asked sympathetically. She reached over and began rubbing
Tiffany’s lower back. “Want a massage?”
“No, it’s okay,” Tiffany said with a slight wince. “Just help me up, I’ll feel better.”
Taeyeon looked at her doubtfully. “I think you better just stay put, missy.  Just let me
massage you, okay?”
“Fine,” Tiffany sighed, shifting in obvious discomfort.
“Unnie, be careful, okay?” Seohyun said. “I think Nicole wants to go eat now, so I’m going to
get off.”
“Don’t eat too much!” Tiffany warned. “We’re having a big dinner since everyone’s all
together, okay?”
“Is that Seohyun?” Sunny asked, her mouth full of bread.
Tiffany nodded.
“Oh! She landed already?”  Taeyon quickly leaned in and shouted into the phone. “Hi
Juhyun! How was your honeymoon?”
“Whaddya get me? Whaddya get me?” Sunny added in a cute voice, bouncing to her feet.
“You didn’t forget me either, right?” Sooyoung quickly joined the other two women
swarming around Tiffany.
Tiffany laughed as she tried to push the three faces away. “You think she’d for—uh-oh.”
“What is it?” Sooyoung asked.
“My water broke.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“WHAT?!” came the simultaneous reply.
“I said my water broke!” Tiffany repeated in a panicked voice. “What else does it mean?!”
“Ohmigodohmigodohmigod…I got her stuff!” Taeyeon exclaimed as she sprinted out of the
room and up the stairs.
For You, For Me, For Evermore
225 | P a g e
“Oh ew, gross,” Sooyoung said, covering her mouth with her hand as she looked at the sofa
chair the pregnant woman sat on.
Tiffany glared. “Don’t just stare! Call Jessica!”
“Huh? Oh, right!” Sooyoung got down on her knees and began searching the floor for her
phone.
“Unnie don’t shout!” Seohyun said over the phone. “Calm down and breath! Remember
what they taught you? Hee hee hoooo.  Hee hee hoooo.”
Tiffany winced at the popping and crackling as Seohyun blew into her phone.
“Seohyun-ah, it’s fine, okay?  I’m not having a contraction right now.”
“Oh.  Are you holding them in?”
“What?  How in the world can I do that? ”
“C’mon Fany, let’s get you up, okay?” Sunny bent over and slowly helped Tiffany up to her
feet.
“Where the hell is my phone? I was just using it!”
Tiffany and Sunny looked down where Sooyoung was reaching under the couch, her bottom
sticking straight up in the air.
“Sooyoung! Check your butt!” Sunny shouted, pointing at the large bump in the woman’s
shorts.
The tall woman quickly sat up and fished the phone from her back pocket. She hit a speed
dial number and held the phone up to her ear.
*RING* *RING*
A ringing came from the love seat.  Sooyoung hurried over and reached between the
cushions, pulling out a white cell phone. All three women groaned.
“You’re kidding me.  Try calling someone else!” Sunny ordered.
Tiffany abruptly gasped and held her lower back.
Sunny leaned over in concern.  “Are you okay?  What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?”
“Okay, I’m starting to think these aren’t back cramps anymore,” Tiffany said, her face
scrunching up in pain. She looked up at Sunny in panic. “You need to start timing me!”
“Huh?  Oh, okay! Um, one-one thousand, two-one thousand—”
“Use a clock!”
“Got it.” Sunny twisted her wrist and began watching the seconds tick on her watch.
“You don’t need to keep staring!”
“Hello? Yoona?” Sooyoung shouted to her phone. “Yoona I can—I can barely hear you!
You—you’re breaking up! Yoona! Tiffany’s in labor! Where are you guys—Hello? Hello?”
“Try Yuri or Hyoyeon,” Tiffany suggested.
“They don’t have phones, remember?” Sooyoung said dejectedly.
“Huh?”
“Remember when Jessica pushed them both into the pool last night?”
“Oh, crap.”
“Yeah.”
“Seohyun-ah, you still there?” Tiffany asked, bringing her cell phone back to her ear.
“Y-yeah!”
“We can’t reach Jess, so you need to tell them to get their butts down to the hospital fast!”
“I will! Drive safely, unnie!”
Tiffany hung up the phone and looked at Sooyoung. “There’s a card on our fridge with our
doctor’s number. Can you give him a call? Tell him we’re heading over and to get a room ready.”
“Got it!”
“Are you sure you can get a private room this late?” Sunny asked worriedly once Sooyoung
took off.
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. Jessica reserved one for the past 2 weeks.”
For You, For Me, For Evermore
226 | P a g e
“That’s…a lot of money.”
“Tell me about it.”
A thundering sound came from the stairs as Taeyeon rushed down with a small suitcase in
her hand.
“Okay!” she shouted. “I got all of Sica’s stuff! Let’s go!”
Tiffany and Sunny stared.
“Taengoo,” Sunny began, “FANY’S the one that’s pregnant, NOT Sica!”
“OH! RIGHT!”  Taeyeon widened her eyes in realization and rushed back up the stairs.
“Why is this happening to me?” Tiffany wailed.

“You’re lying,” Hyoyeon said adamantly as she walked down the concourse.
“It’s true!” Yuri protested. “You think so too, right Sica?”
“I think you’re full of crap,” came the blunt response.
“What? How come?  I’m telling you, it’s real!”
“No one in their right mind would do that with a cup!  It’s disgusting!”
Yuri pouted and took hold of Yoona’s arm. “Yoona believes, me right?”
Yoona was about to reply when a chime went off. She reached into her back pocket and
pulled out her phone.
“Oh, it’s probably from Sooyoung unnie,” she said, flipping her hair out of the way to put the
phone against her ear.  “We forgot to call her back.”
Yuri gave a dismissive wave.  “It’s okay.  She probably just wanted us to buy something.  Just
call her, voicemail takes forever.”
“Alright, well I’m gonna call Seohyun to tell her we’re here,” Jessica said.  She patted her
pockets and frowned. “Where’s my phone?”
“Oh, hey, I think that’s them,” Hyoyeon said.
“Where?”
“There.”
Jessica squinted to where Hyoyeon was pointing and spotted two women running
frantically towards them, occasionally stopping to bow in apology to the people they collided with.
“Wow, you’d think they’d been gone for two years or something,” Yuri laughed.
“UNNIE! UNNIE!” Seohyun began shouting and sprinted ahead of Nicole, ignoring the stares
of everybody around her as her luggage clattered noisily behind.
Jessica blinked in surprise when the younger woman stopped in front of her feet and bent
over, gasping for breath.
“Unnie! We have to hurry!  Fany—Fany unnie is—”
“HAVING THE BABY!” Yoona exclaimed, shoving the phone in front of Jessica’s face.
“WHAT?!  WHEN? NOW?!”
“Stephanie?!”  Jessica ripped the phone out of Yoona’s hand and shouted into the device.
“Where’ve you been?” Sooyoung snapped. “Your wife’s in labor and we can’t even reach
you!”
“Stephanie! How’s Stephanie!”
“She’s fine! We’re on our way to the hospital right now.”
“Stephanie! I want to talk to Stephanie!”
“Sheesh, okay, okay,” Sooyoung relented and her voice dimmed to the background. “Hey,
she wants to talk to you.  I don’t think her brain’s working right now.”
“Jess?”
“Fany! Are you okay?! Is everything okay? The baby’s fine, right?”
“I’m fine! Just hurry up and get—uh-oh…”
“What? What is it?”   
For You, For Me, For Evermore
227 | P a g e
“Oh god, ohmigod, ohmigod.”
“Fany! Tell me what’s wrong!” Jessica felt her panic beginning to boil over as her wife
suddenly went silent.
“Ahh! Son of bitch! Why does it hurt so much!”
“It’s okay!” Jessica said hurriedly. “Just breathe through the pain and it won’t be so bad!”
What followed next was an epitaph-laced diatribe that made Jessica’s ears burn.
“’Won’t be so bad’!? Are you fucking kidding me?!” Tiffany exclaimed. “My back’s killing me!
It’s-it’s like cramps on steroids! Don’t you DARE tell me how I should feel! This is all YOUR fault!”
“What? My fault?”
“You tricked me into this! You knew it would hurt like a bitch! Well you know what?
You’re having the rest of them, you jerk! Oh my god, I hate you so much!”
Jessica pulled the phone away from her ear and winced.
“Fany, just stay calm okay? Think of the baby—”
“The only thing I’m thinking of is how stupid my wife is! Just hurry up and get your ass over
here, RIGHT NOW!”
The phone was suddenly silent.
“Fany? Fany? Hello?” Jessica handed the phone back to Yoona with a blank face. “She hung
up.”
Hyoyeon loudly clapped her hands. “C’mon, grab a piece of luggage and let’s get back to the
car!  I don’t think you should drive, Jessica. Jessica?”
By the time Hyoyeon turned around, Jessica had already sprinted off and was halfway down
the concourse, leaving the other five women to frantically chase after her.
Unfortunately for Jessica, her running had no effect on the snarling Seoul traffic they found
themselves in an hour and a half later.
“Unbelievable!” Jessica exclaimed, pounding a fist on the dashboard.  She turned to glare at
the back of the van where Seohyun and Nicole sat. “Did you two HAVE to get a flight back during
rush hour?”
“Sorry, unnie,” the couple chimed.
“Relax,” Hyoyeon said. She sat in one of the middle seats, along with Yoona, and leaned
forward to poke the enraged woman in the head. “Or do you want your daughter’s first sight of you
to be that ugly vein sticking out of your forehead?”
Jessica grunted and looked forward.
“You’re going too slow! Speed up!”
“How?” Yuri demanded, gesturing out the windshield. “It’s completely backed up! What do
you want me to do? Just ram everyone?”
“You should’ve let me drive,” Jessica muttered.
“No thank you, I don’t want to die.”
“Of all the days!  I KNEW I shouldn’t have left! But no, you guys had to drag me out of house!”
“Well, Fany did say she wanted you out of the house,” Yuri replied. She then smashed the
horn on the steering wheel. “Geez! Did you see that? He didn’t even use his blinkers!”
“Well, I’d like to think that I had a pretty good reason to stay!”
“Unnie, it’s okay,” Yoona reassured. “They said they got to the hospital fine and Tiffany
unnie’s already checked in.”
“No, it’s not okay! I should already be there!”
Both women in the back seat remained silent, Seohyun, by nature and Nicole, by sheer
terror.  Hyoyeon turned around and looked at Seohyun’s wife in sympathy.
“Guess you haven’t seen her like this that much, huh?”
Nicole gave a tiny nod.
Hyoyeon laughed. “Don’t worry, she’s all talk.”
For You, For Me, For Evermore
228 | P a g e
“I’m all talk, huh?” Jessica turned around to deliver another glare. “Would you care to
repeat that AFTER I kill the maknaes?”
Seohyun gasped and Nicole visibly paled.
“Aigoo, I don’t think Fany’s going to be able to handle raising two babies,” Hyoyeon
remarked.
“I’m not a baby,” Jessica scowled.
“Then stop blaming them! It’s nobody’s fault.”
“But I wouldn’t be stuck in traffic if Seohyun didn’t feel like having a fifth honeymoon!”
Jessica obstinately replied.
“It was only a second one!” Seohyun objected.
“Second, third, fourth, it doesn’t matter!  I’m not at the hospital because you guys are too
horny!”
“T-that’s not true!” Seohyun protested, her face glowing red.
“You’re right,” Jessica corrected. “It’s just YOU. Nicole just goes along with your horny
ideas.”
“Unnie, be nice!” Yoona chastised. She turned around to look at Seohyun sympathetically.
“Don’t worry. It’s not your fault that you’re so horny, okay?”
“E-eh?”
Yuri let out a loud snort before bursting into laughter.

“Seriously Taeyeon, I’m fine!  It’s over now.  Will you let go of my hand now? It’s all clammy!”
“How can you say that? You don’t know when the next one will hit!”
“Uh, yes I do, they’re contractions.”
“Hey I’m gonna go see if there’s anything to eat at the cafeteria,” Sooyoung announced. She
got out of her chair and looked over at Sunny. “You wanna come?”
Sunny looked up from the magazine she was reading before tossing it aside. “Yeah, sure.
I’m getting sick of hearing Taengoo’s voice.”
Taeyeon glared over her shoulder. “How can you two leave at a time like this?”
“We’ve been sitting here forever,” Sooyoung complained. “I’m bored!”
“Hey! Show some consideration! Fany’s stuck here on the bed, all sweaty and bloated and
immobile and—”
“Sooyoung don’t worry, just go. Sunny too. Take your time, okay?”
“Thanks!” Sooyoung chirped as she quickly pulled Sunny out of the room.
“I can’t wait to hear how much Sooyoung complains when she gets knocked up,” Taeyeon
muttered while shaking her head.
“Taeyeon,” Tiffany said wearily. She finally managed to pull her hand out of her friend’s
sweaty grasp.
“Yeah, what is it? You okay? Do you want me to change your pillows?”
“No, I just want some quiet okay? Can you let me rest?”
“Oh, okay, I’ll just sit here, don’t you worry.”
Tiffany silently groaned when Taeyeon took hold of her hand once more.  Not willing to
waste any more energy, she closed her eyes and focused on calming breaths.
*shift*

*shift*
*shift*

*shift*
Tiffany let out a sigh and opened her eyes.   
For You, For Me, For Evermore
229 | P a g e
“What is it now?”
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to; I can hear you fidgeting around like some kind of animal.”
“I’m not fidgeting!” Taeyeon protested.
Tiffany frowned as she watched her friend hunch over, crossing and uncrossing her legs
several times.
“Taeyeon…are you okay?”
“Yeah, why do you ask?” her friend responded, bouncing her leg rapidly.
“Do you have to pee?”
“It’s fine! I can hold it!”
“Are you insane? Just go! Nothing’s going to happen!”
“I’ll go when Sunny and Sooyoung get back, okay?”
“The bathroom’s right there!” Tiffany exclaimed, pointing with her free hand to the closed
door by the entrance.
“I’ll wait!”
Tiffany shook her head in disbelief. “Sometimes you’re just as bad as Jessica.”
“Where in the world is she anyways?”
“Well, she said she finally got off the freeway, maybe there’s still traffic,” Tiffany said with a
shrug.
“You know, you’re pretty calm for someone who’s about to have a living thing pop out of
you,” Taeyeon observed. She shifted in her chair uncomfortably and bounced her leg even faster.
“Okay seriously, Taeyeon. You look like you’re going to explode!  Just go, I can feel you
squeezing my hand!”
“But—”
“If it makes you feel better, you can leave the door open!”
“Ew, that’s kinda gross.”
“I’m trying to make this easier for you, you know? You look like YOU’RE the one who’s
going to give birth!”
“Fine,” Taeyeon said reluctantly. She released Tiffany’s hand and picked herself up from the
stool.
“Uh-oh.”
Tiffany quickly reached out and seized Taeyeon’s wrist as she was walking away, causing
the woman to jerk backwards suddenly, stumbling over the stool and landing soundly on the floor.
“Ow! You nearly broke my arm!” Taeyeon moaned in pain. “Watch it! I almost peed in my
pants!”
“Oh crap, oh crap,” Tiffany muttered while she began to take deep breaths.  She tightened
her grip on Taeyeon’s wrist as she felt her stomach muscles begin to clench.
“Fany, I don’t think I can hold it in anymore!”
“Well you should’ve thought of that earlier! I’m not letting go now!” Tiffany said through
clenched teeth. She tightened her grip as the pain pinched into her spine and waves of agony began
pulsing through her, building in intensity.
“Stop squeezing so hard!” Taeyeon whimpered. “I’m seriously going to pee!”
The door to the room opened and Sunny re-entered. “Forget it, cafeteria’s too far away.  I
didn’t want to go all the way over there to just watch Sooyoung—”
The words died in Sunny’s mouth as she witnessed Taeyeon sitting on the floor, her legs
sprawled over a stool while Tiffany clung tightly to her arm. Both women were wailing and on the
verge of tears.
“FANY!”
For You, For Me, For Evermore
230 | P a g e
Jessica’s voice and pounding steps echoed down the hall as she skidded into the room,
nearly running into Sunny. She looked over Sunny, a task that was not too difficult, her eyes
widening when she surveyed the scene.
“Fany! I’m here!” She rushed over and pried Tiffany’s hand free from Taeyeon. Taeyeon
immediately scrambled to her feet and sprinted to the bathroom.
“Stephanie! I’m here!” Jessica repeated. “Are you—URK!”
Tiffany immediately latched both hands onto Jessica’s neck.
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? This was all YOUR idea! The least you could’ve done is shown
up earlier!”
Hyoyeon, Yuri, Yoona, Seohyun, and Nicole all rushed into the room and stopped next to
Sunny.
“What’s going on?” Seohyun asked.  “We’re not too late, are we?”
Sunny shook her head and silently pointed. The five women looked over and remained
immobile as they witnessed Tiffany shouting and strangling her wife.
“Is Jessica unnie gonna die?” Nicole asked worriedly.
“Maybe,” Hyoyeon answered.
“Shouldn’t we help her?” Yoona ventured, nibbling at her nail.
Yuri motioned an arm forward. “Be my guest. I’m not going near the widow-maker.”
Jessica was eventually freed on the account of Tiffany’s labor pains subsiding and not
through the assistance of her dear friends.
Tiffany collapsed onto her pillow in relief, letting out an exhausted sigh while Jessica quickly
cleared her throat and hovered anxiously.
“It’s okay, baby, you’re doing great,” Jessica whispered as she brushed away her wife’s hair.
“Aren’t you supposed to say that to me when the baby’s actually coming out?”
“I thought it wouldn’t hurt.” She leaned in and kissed Tiffany’s forehead before continuing.
“I need more warning next time, okay? I barely got a breath in.”
Tiffany grinned. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“Well then at least a safety word would be nice.”
“Yah! We seriously don’t need to hear that!” Yuri shouted.
The toilet flushed and Taeyeon stepped out of the bathroom. “Hear what?” she asked.
“Sica unnie wanted a safety word,” Yoona giggled.
“Who taught you that?!” Taeyeon exclaimed, slapping Yoona loudly on the arm.
“Hey Sunny, do you have any money?” Sooyoung asked loudly as she briskly walked into the
room.  “Oh, you’re all here.  Anyone got any money?”
“Hey, why’s everyone at the door? I’m not gonna break you know,” Tiffany called out.
“No, we’re just afraid you’re going to kill us,” Hyoyeon remarked.
Despite those words, the women quickly gathered around Tiffany's bed. They affectionately
patted the pregnant woman on the arms and legs, either asking her how she was doing or talking
with one another. The room instantly filled with the noise of chatter and Tiffany's face glowed as
she sat in the epicenter of it all.
“Is the doctor really going to let us all stay in here and watch? Won’t he be mad if we’re too
noisy?” Seohyun asked worriedly.
“He better let you,” Jessica grumbled. “We paid a lot for this room.”
“Hey, if you wanna make some money, then you should film everything for a reality show!”
Yuri suggested.
“How about I just film my foot going up your ass?”
“I don’t think she’s in the mood to joke around,” Sunny noted.
“Gee, you think?”
Feeling slightly out of place, Nicole placed a hand on her wife’s back. Seohyun looked over
and tilted her head questioningly.
For You, For Me, For Evermore
231 | P a g e
“Hey, is it okay that I’m here?” Nicole asked nervously.
Seohyun opened her mouth to reply, but Tiffany had overhead and quickly spoke out.
“Of course it is! Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I just didn’t want to assume anything,” Nicole said with a sheepish grin as she scratched the
back of her head.  “I guess I feel kinda weird being the only outsider.”
“What are you talking about?  This isn’t a Soshi event, it’s a family event! You’re family too!”
“Hey!” Sooyoung objected. “Then how come you didn’t ask if my husband and Hyoyeon’s
could come too!”
“You’re husband’s not even in the country,” Hyoyeon noted.
“Yeah, but still, they should have the same rights as Nicole!”
“N-O!” Jessica said emphatically.
“I’m not letting them stare between my legs!” Tiffany exclaimed.
“If you want some guys around when it’s your turn, be my guest. I’ll make sure to call some
oppas,” Jessica added.
“You didn’t have to be nasty about it,” Sooyoung muttered.
“Then stop asking stupid questions,” Jessica responded with a glare.  With a loud sigh, she
picked up the stool from the ground and sat down, nervously bouncing her leg.
“Jess, seriously stop that,” Tiffany said. “You’re making me nervous.”
“I can’t help it! It’s taking forever!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was having a too much fun with this thing clawing its way out of my uterus.
But if you’re impatient, want me to ask her to hurry up?”
“Don’t bother,” Jessica said, tossing her wife a look. “I think she changed her mind. She
must like it better in there.”
Tiffany rolled her eyes.
“Yah, you gotta be more patient,” Hyoyeon chided. “You’re going to be a mom, that’s the
least you could do.”
Jessica’s eyes widened at the word ‘mom’ and she looked at Tiffany in panic.
“What if we’re not ready, Fany?” She clutched desperately at her arm. “Oh my god, what did
we do? We’re bringing a life into this world and we don’t know what we’re doing!”
“Hey, calm down okay? You’ll do—”
“What if I’m not good enough? She’s going to hate us, isn’t she? She’s going to hate me!”
Jessica stood up and looked at Tiffany in despair. “Why does she hate me, Fany?!”
Yoona quickly came to Jessica’s side and pulled her away from Tiffany.
“C’mon unnie, let’s go for a walk, okay?” she said gently.
“No! I can’t leave her!”
“Jess, please go,” Tiffany pleaded.  “I’ll still be here when you get back.”
Jessica reluctantly allowed Yoona to pull her away from the bed and made it as far as the
doorway when Tiffany suddenly gasped.
“Oh boy, here comes another—Ah!”
Jessica immediately reacted, shoving Yoona forcefully against the door as she scrambled
back to her wife’s side.
“Are you okay?” She asked earnestly, taking hold of Tiffany’s hand.
Tiffany responded by squeezing her eyes shut and tightening her grip on Jessica’s hand.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, just breath through the pain,” Jessica whispered. She stroked her
fingertips across Tiffany’s forehead and repeated her words.
Time was no longer lagging for Jessica. From that point on, everything began moving at a
surreal pace.  Even when the contraction finally passed, she remained by Tiffany’s side, offering
soothing touches and comforting words.  She did not know how much time, or how many
contractions had passed when the room suddenly filled with medical staff.  All of the sudden, it was
time for Tiffany to deliver the baby.
For You, For Me, For Evermore
232 | P a g e
They did run into a minor setback when Jessica got into an altercation with one of the
nurses. The poor nurse apparently had not known about Jessica and Tiffany’s explicit instructions
to the doctor for a natural birth, meaning no C-sections, if possible, and absolutely no episiotomies.
Jessica had watched warily when the nurse began preparing the area.  She noticed the tray of
surgical tools placed by her wife and immediately stood between the nurse and Tiffany, demanding
to know what the sharp objects were for.  The scowl on Jessica’s face deepened when she received
the nurse’s rude answer and she demanded that the tools be taken away. The nurse, however,
refused as vigorously as she had demanded. Jessica could still recall the nurse’s ashen face when
she grabbed the surgical scissors off the tray and threatened to perform the same procedure on the
woman. At that point, the doctor had arrived and quickly intervened, explaining to the nurse the
procedure would not be necessary.  The nurse quickly removed all the tools, occasionally glaring at
Jessica while muttering about uneducated kids and contaminated surgical equipment.
When the actual pushing began, it took all of Jessica’s efforts to remain calm. All she wanted
to do was scream at the top of her lungs and demand that the doctor pull the damn baby out.
Instead, she remained by Tiffany’s side, holding her hand and alternating between kissing her on
the cheek and whispering into her ear to tell her how much she loved her.
The wailing cries brought time back to a screeching halt.  Jessica found herself breathless
and immobile when the doctor stood up, the baby in his arms. A pair of unknown hands pushed her
out of her seat and towards the doctor.  Without warning, he gently placed the tiny package in her
arms.  Her body stiffened in terror and she realized just how fragile and tiny the baby was, their
baby.  She was unable to look anywhere else but at the little wet mutant crying in her arms.
Tenderly, she began to touch at the infant, running a finger along her forehead and arms. A smile
slowly began to grow on her face and unexpectedly, tears began streaming down her eyes.
With careful steps, she made her way back to Tiffany’s side and, with a loud sniff, gingerly
handed the babe to her birth mother.  After a few moments of blissful staring, Tiffany looked up at
Jessica and then over at the women standing nervously a few feet away from the bed.
“Why don’t you go and introduce her?” she suggested.
Jessica wiped at her tears and carefully took hold of the baby again before walking
cautiously over to the eight other women in the room.
“Jennifer, do you want to meet your aunts?”
The women timidly crept forward, cooing as they surrounded Jessica in a tight circle.
“Welcome to So Nyuh Shi Dae,” Jessica whispered to the sleepy-eyed baby.
Unwilling to leave baby deprived of her mother for too long, Jessica quickly shuffled back
and placed the baby in Tiffany’s arm where she was soon silently suckling in contentment.
The medical staff continued to bustle about, but the new family was completely oblivious to
everything else that was happening. Not wanting to ruin their moment, Taeyeon slipped over to the
door and waved the others over. They quietly filed out of the room, making it halfway down the
hall in silence before Nicole let out a squeal.
“They looked so cute!” she gushed, stretching her arms up to the ceiling before wrapping
them around around Seohyun.  “I want a baby too!”
Seohyun stumbled and would have hit the floor, had Nicole not caught her.
“You don’t want one?” Nicole said with a pout.
Seohyun sighed. “It’s not that.  I just don’t think it’s practical right now.  Babies don’t sleep
on normal hours, you know?  And do you want to spend our free time changing dirty diapers?”
“Aw, come on,” wheedled Nicole.
“I think it’d be better if we just wait and see how Jessica and Tiffany unnie handle it. Doesn’t
that make more sense?”
“Ugh!  You’re so unromantic!” Nicole protested with a stamp of her foot.
“Hey, so if you two have one, who’s gonna go first?” Hyoyeon asked with a smile.
“She is,” both women responded.
For You, For Me, For Evermore
233 | P a g e
“You two should both have one at the same time!” Yuri suggested.
“Yeah!”
“No!”
Fortunately for everyone, Taeyeon’s cell phone rang before an argument could start.
Eager for the interruption, Taeyeon quickly flipped open her phone without checking the
display.
“Hello?”
“Unnie! I got your message! I couldn’t reach Jessica unnie! Is everything okay?!”
“It’s fine,” Taeyeon reassured. “You’re an auntie now.”
“Seriously?! Okay! I’m going to get on a flight right away! I’ll be there in a few hours!”
“Wait! Aren’t you in Singapore right now?”
“Yeah? So?”
“But it’s your own concert!”
“I don’t care! I’m leaving! Oh, my manager’s right there.  I gotta tell him. Bye, unnie!”
“Guess, Krystal’s catching the next flight back to Korea,” Taeyeon said, pocketing her phone.
“What? Aren’t they in the middle of a concert tour?” Sunny asked in disbelief.
“That’s what I said!”
“Okay, I can’t take it anymore, so I’m just going to say it,” Sooyoung said out loud. “But how
come no one warned me about the afterbirth!”
Everyone immediately groaned.
“Did you seriously have to remind us?” Sunny protested.
“I can’t help it! It’s burned into my brain!”
“Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick,” Yuri moaned while Taeyeon laughed out loud.
“Unnie, wanna go get some kimchee to eat?” Yoona offered with an open-mouthed smile.
The women all shouted at Yoona in disgust.

While the women were discussing kimchee outside, little had changed back inside the room.
Jessica remained seated on the edge of the bed, her arm draped across while her fingertips lazily
brushed against Tiffany’s shoulder.  Her eyes remained fixed upon the nursing infant as the same
amazing thought continued to run through her mind; that she was looking at their daughter.
Despite the fact that having a child had initially been her idea, Jessica had been plagued for
months by late-night panic attacks, a concept so foreign to her that she had mistaken them for
indigestion.  But as she sat there, watching their child, the terrifying thoughts that had built up into
a roaring swell all but dissipated, leaving her surrounded with calmness.
She then realized that some of that tranquility came from the silence in the room.
Reluctantly tearing her eyes away from the baby, she looked up and discovered that the room had
been abandoned. Confused, she gingerly picked herself up from the bed and tip-toed to the door,
carefully opening it. She stuck her head out and peered down into the hallway to find it just as
empty as the room.  With a frown, she closed the door and shrugged to herself.
“Guess they all left,” she announced softly.
Tiffany looked up and gave a contented smile, nodding once before returning her attention
back to the baby.  Jessica felt her throat catch and her eyes swelled with another round of tears as
she marveled at the sight before her.  Her wife sat upright in the bed, garbed in a pale gown and
surrounded by crumpled white sheets.  Her top was open as she cradled their child close to her
chest and the serene bliss reflected in her face juxtaposed against her sloppily drawn back hair.
Jessica blinked back the tears, a familar sense of completeness threatening to overwhelm
her.  She silently returned to Tiffany’s side when she suddenly recalled the first time she had felt
those feelings. She had felt them many years ago when she and Tiffany sang ‘Heaven’ for the first
time on stage. Over time, they had sung numerous duets, many sounding better than that
performance, but none could replicate the same emotions during that performance.  Jessica could
For You, For Me, For Evermore
234 | P a g e
have never realized those supposedly unsurpassable feelings of joy only foreshadowed the
exultation of today.
This time Jessica could not hold back the tears. As she let them fall openly down her face,
she leaned down and softly kissed the crown of Tiffany’s head. Tiffany looked up at her and smiled.
“You okay?” she asked in the hushed whisper that people assumed around a newborn.
Jessica wiped at her tears and smiled back.
“I’m in heaven.”
The End
A R E N ’ T  Y O U  K I N D  O F  G L A D  W E  D I D ?
Oh, it really wasn't my intention
To disregard convention
It was just an impulse
That had to be obeyed.
Though it seems convention we've been scorning
I'll still not go in mourning
Though my reputation
Is blemished, I'm afraid.
With just one kiss
What heaven, what rapture, what bliss
Honestly, I thought you wouldn't.
Naturally, you thought you couldn't.
And probably we shouldn't.
But aren't you kind of glad we did?
Actually, it all was blameless.
Nevertheless, they'll call it shameless
So let's keep the lady nameless
But aren't you kind of glad we did?
Socially, I'll be an outcast
Obviously, we dined alone
On my good name there will be doubt cast
With never a sign of any chaperone.
No matter how they may construe it
Whether or not, we have to rue it
Whatever made us do it
Say, aren't you kind of glad we did?
Whatever made us do it
Say, aren't you kind of glad we did

[SNSD] Bewitched, Bothered, and  Bewildered - Taeny, Yulsic (Full)Where stories live. Discover now