Almost (KimXi)

19: The End where I Begin

If You Ever Come Back by The Script

Now they say I'm wasting my time

'Cause you're never comin home

But they used to say the world was flat but how wrong was that now

And by leavin' my door open 

I'm risking everythin' I own

There's nothin' I can lose in a break-in that you haven't taken

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder

And I wish you can still give me a hard time

And I wish I could still wish it was over

But even if wishing is a waste of time 

Even if I never cross your mind

Nathan

"We've been on the run, driving in the sun, looking out for number one..." ♪♫♪

Such an appropriate song to come up on my iPod while packing.

California here I come.

I'm so psyched that I'm spending the summer there. Pixar! I've been looking forward to this for a long time, all the work and sacrifice have paid off. 

I don't really know what I would need for two months. I could really care less usually, but, I don't know. I just feel like packing properly. That, and my room could use some organizing. 

As usual, I think I'm not going to pack a whole lot of clothes. I could always just buy there. I just really bring my favorites.

I remember the last time I packed properly. It was when I first left Manila.

I was with Sam.

Damn, I miss her. Everything reminds me of her, really, but, not as much as when I pack for a trip. That day in Manila, she helped me. We goofed around more than we packed that time. She commented on how I had more shoes than she did and she taught me how to put my stuff in the bag a certain way to make more space in my bag. It was such a random ordinary day, but, we love days like that, me and her. 

I wonder what she's doing right now. It's 2am in Manila, so, probably she'd be asleep. Every single day, I think about if I made the right decision. I really want to talk to her, as much as possible, but, I know that it's better this way. I didn't get it at first, but, she's right. If after all of this, we find our way back to each other, then, we're really meant to be. 

All I have are memories, for now, I guess. And, like I said, packing makes me think of her more than usual because the small things are the ones that have the best memories.

My Kurt Cobain shirt. I was wearing this, the day that I met her. She was so bubbly and fun. We barely talked that day, but, I was observing her the entire time she was with me and Liam. I don't really talk much when I just meet a person and that showed, but, she kept on smiling at me and she just drew me in. I just had to get to know her.

I take a look around my room. It's filled with everything that reminds me of her. I didn't even realize it until now. Like I said, small things.

On one part of the wall, I put up the makeshift polaroids she drew for me. It's the sweetest thing anyone's done for me, ever.

It's such a simple gift, but, it's so extraordinary at the same time. Just like how she is. I definitely have to take it down and put it up in my place in LA.