Dark and darker

Goodbye My Love

Blood covered hands, soaked in the pain of life. Eyes fall as the stress melts away into silence and peace, or at least, so it seems. Drip drip drip as the last of the thick liquid drops, disappearing for good.

Flash back

That happy boy playing road hockey in the streets. Not a worry in the world. He's got enough to make him happy. Friends are far from gone and girls are far from thought. Then all at once his world snaps, like a twig in a dark forest. It scares him but he can do nothing but panic.

So his anxiety came.

It made him afraid of people. He stayed up in his room at night, losing all the friends he once had. The names rained down like arrows from the sky, penetrating what was left of his broken heart.

So his depression came.

This went on and on as the world continued to hate him, although he did nothing wrong. "Maybe its all in my head" he thought, but his incomplete thought was burned down by the demons in his mind that told him he was worthless. His brain echoed with thought of death, thinking maybe it would ease him. The battle field of school only brought more triggers of "kill yourself" and "no one likes you" although already in his head it cuts deeper, so he did too.

So his self harm and suicidal thoughts came.

He stayed silent refusing to get any help, for despite the pain he felt he did not wish to bother others. He stayed in his room crying himself to sleep every night, bleeding for feeling as he tried to numb to the emotions. His skin was no longer the smooth canvas it used to be, covered in scars big as trenches in the war of himself.

Then entered his hero, no knight in shining armour, but to the boy, a true saviour. No one could make the pain go away, but they understood him finally. A shoulder to lean on and someone to wipe away the tears. Happy, a feeling lost long ago, had come back. Love, a feeling never felt, radiated from his damaged soul.

Was everything finally ok? Was the world a happy place?

His questions answered quickly as the school doors opened. "Gay" "Fag" "queer" told that because he liked someone who had the same parts as him he was worthless to the world.

The tears came back, the scars ran deeper, the thoughts now screamed and the people only helped to his demise. The boy he once loved was pushed away in anger no matter how hard his love pushed back.

Silence fell for awhile over this world. Day in and out was the same with quiet tears and a sharp knife. Drip drop drip drop, the blood fell slowly down his arm.

Then one day the boy spoke again "goodbye" was all he said to the boy who saved his life. Fright filled the world as the hero came to his rescue but it was to late.

Flash forward

There I stood, the boy I loved in front of me, a broken noose on the floor, a knife clenched in his hand, a slit from ear to ear. He cried his final tears, the blood flowing from him. I screamed as I tried to force it back into his open wound, my hands and close covered in blood, soaked. They still stay stained to this day, I see them when I sleep. "Don't die on me" I scream. "Please, I love you" I beg. But no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I beg, he is gone. His eyes fall as the stress melts away into silence and peace, or at least it seems as such. Drip drip drip as the last of the thick liquid drops, leaving for good.

"Goodbye my love"