avengers imagines smut/fluff/angst

tony:peter | after infinity war

interpretation of after infinity war

his chest rose and fell rapidly, breaths becoming more and more frequent. the memory replayed in his head, over and over, haunting him. he slammed his fist onto the table, anger bubbling, tears streaming down his face in silver streaks. he screamed, sobs getting louder and louder. tony stark, billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist. tony stark, iron man. and he'd done the one thing that threw all of that away- he couldn't save him...

"i dont feel so good" peter grasped his stomach. tony whirled around to face him, his heart sinking. no, not peter. you cant take him too. he thought. "you're alright" tony began to shake, reassuring himself rather than peter. "i dont- i dont know whats happening" peter stumbled towards tony, collapsing into his arms. god no. please, don't take him away from me. peter clung around his shoulders, whimpering in fear. "i don't want to go. i don't want to go. mr stark, please. please, i don't want to go" the sobs from the young boy got louder and louder as he began to disintegrate in front of tonys eyes. tony couldn't hold him anymore, letting them fall to the ground. peters sobs quietened , his eyes wide. "i'm sorry" he whispered, staring into the void. then he was gone. tony fell to the floor.

tony gasped, a feeling of utter despair resting on his chest. the darkness of his workshop engulfed him like a thick blanket, smothering his every breath. the guilt he felt was like gasoline in his gut, burning and intoxicating him, eating him alive. he tried to stand but fell to his knees, the burden becoming physical. his chin trembled aggressively like a small child's. at first, his sobs were stifled in an attempt to conceal his grief- but the pain became all too much. the cries were raw, deepened with the anger pent up inside him. maybe the tears will wash away the guilt? no. the howls of misery worsened, throaty sobs arising. he felt his heart shatter again, each tear a symbol of how broken he felt. he clasped back onto the table for support, the pain still an open wound. he shook violently, whimpering. he couldn't take it anymore. his eyes moved to the flip-phone steve had left him. crawling towards it, he reached out and it fell to the floor. for a moment, he fumbled, his hands shaking too much to control. he called steve, the one person he knew would understand. the call was picked up almost instantly. "steve?" tony whispered, hopeful. "tony? you-you called" steve's voice echoed down the line, his surprise prevalent. "peter. peters gone, thanos killed him. h-he disintegrated, right there in front of me. and i did nothing, nothing!" tony tried to keep it together but eventually just let go. he let in the pain and it flooded his entire body. on the cold floor, he lay, wailing. "i should've have saved him, i could've. it should have been me. why wasn't it me? he's just a kid" the end of the line stayed silent. "i'm going steve. i cant stay here, not like this. i don't deserve to be here, i don't deserve my life. i cant do-" tony wept but steve cut him off. "tony" he said softly. "we need you, i need you. you're iron man, the iron man. you've saved the world, millions of lives. peter wouldn't want you to do this, he'd want you to save those who are left. he looked up to you, wanted to be like you- because you protected people. and you still can. you can beat thanos tony, you can avenge peter. because thats what you do. you're an avenger" steves words inspired him. tony hung up the phone. he turned to face his suits. the anger overshadowed the pure sadness. you can beat thanos. I CAN BEAT THANOS he thought. "i am iron man"

•••
a/n
this is short but i didn't have much to work with- it was a vent. after infinity war i felt how tony feels. i know theyre fictional characters but they were the one stable thing in my life and that was taken away. just let my poor babies be happy please, thats what they deserve- what WE deserve.