Half my Facebook Friends are Ferrets

Family secrets

Monday, May 4th

12:20 A.M.: Mom’s bedroom

So our mystery burglar/murderer/poltergeist turns out to be none other than our long-lost Ozzy! It looks like he squeezed into the bottom drawer of Mom’s dresser, ate half a woolen blanket, and then couldn’t squeeze back out again — at least not without a mammoth effort.

I’m actually really proud of him.

While my sister takes super-sized Ozzy back to my room, I get a dustpan and broom and start cleaning out the drawer. There are ferret droppings and pieces of wool everywhere. I am just finishing up sweeping when I spot what looks like the corner of a book poking out from under an old sweater.

Wow, it’s a leather-bound notebook! Just like the one Mom gave me — only much older. I open the cover and see the words:

STRICTLY PRIVATE — DO NOT READ!

I dive into the middle of the book!

There are some photos of Mom at a club with this eighties-looking band playing. Check out those poodle perms! I skip ahead.

Dec. 23rd: Yet another lonely Christmas looms. I might as well not be married.

Hmm, kinda depressing. I skip ahead again.

June 4th: One month to go before my life changes forever! I don’t think I can keep this secret any longer. It’s tearing me apart . . .

Secret? Hey, this is getting interesting! I turn the page eagerly, but suddenly I feel kind of weird. I can’t help remembering how bad it felt when I caught Ollie reading my secret diary.

I feel guilty, excited, and kind of sick at the same time. Should I read or not? To read or not to . . .

Oh, it’s no good, I can’t do it. I close the book and shove it back in the drawer under the sweater. I bundle up the chewed blanket, run downstairs, and stuff it in the garbage can outside.

That was written ages ago; if Mom did have secrets, well, they surely don’t have anything to do with me...

READERS – what do you think? Does Mom’s secret involve Josh? Do a lot of families have secrets do you think?