moon

0.15

|| i was so excited to publish this chapter get hyped my loves things are happening ||

i was only two minutes into daydreaming about eunwoo when my mind was snapped conscious and i was brought back to reality.

i sighed as i stared at the silver-framed mirror reflecting my anxiety. i combed my hands through my hair.

it was one week since the start of the break, and thinking about it now only made me restless. if only i could just please move this day to tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that!

but no: it was december 31st, and i was to meet eunwoo in only one and a half hours.

i probably should've decided on my outfit a few days before this because goddamn i had way too many clothes and too few seconds to think of anything at all. breathing out heavily, i could only close my eyes and blindly pick an outfit out of the closet:

denim jacket with embroidered red roses winding up its sleeves,
and black, ripped jeans.

pretty good for a blind pick, but i decided to wear a sweater inside my jacket just in case i freeze to death before the clock strikes 12.

my breathing hitched once again. i walked out of the apartment.

"moonbin!"

sweet lord Jesus, his voice could not be anymore comforting and/or nerve-wrecking than it already was.

i turned around to see him walking toward me.

we had decided to meet in front of a bus stop downtown, because it was convenient for the both of us, and (of course) i had to arrive twenty minutes early because i was so excited.

"hey," i gently greeted him.

his bright aura, covered in a navy blue coat and mustard scarf, enveloped me in a hug. he was so warm.

"how've you been? feels like i haven't seen you in ages!"

"yeah, a whole week," i laughed.

he looked at the ground as he bit his lip discreetly.

but he quickly brought his eyes back to mine and happily said, "shall we?" as he linked his arm around my own.

"bin, your ice cream is melting"

i had stared out into the distance to ponder for seconds too long because now the mint chocolate chip cold had landed on my sneakers. eunwoo didn't hesitate to hide his laughter as he gave me a napkin.

"you spaced out for a bit," he mentioned, still smiling and bright. "in too deep?"

"yeah," i mumbled, my lips numb from embarrassment. "real deep"

in truth
i was thinking about us
and dreaming of midnight and how tonight i could confess and let go of my feelings for once because i feel so bottled up so stuck inside my thoughts about you that i can't think of anything else and i'm afraid this crush will turn into me falling in love with you when you can't even glance my way

and
i was thinking about the clock striking twelve as you kiss my lips
and tell me my fears aren't real
and that

you love me
too.

as we approached the river, we could see large crowds surrounding it, waiting for the ripples to reflect multicolored fireworks and new year greetings.

the atmosphere was loud, boisterous, suspenseful,
full of joy.

"they're counting down to new years," eunwoo whispered, his voice overflowing with excitement. we walked closer and closer to the celebration, the volume of cheering increasing with every step.

together,
the crowd chanted "five, four-"

i could only hold my breath in bliss.

"two, one-" eunwoo joined in, turning to me to flash the most beautiful smile i had seen in all of the crowd.

one of my hands went to rest on his warm cheek. i was leaning in

but i don't think he was.

"zero!"

fireworks.

eunwoo took my palm off his face, holding my hand loosely, and slowly kissed my cheek instead.

he shook his head apologetically, yet somewhat sadly, as well.

then he let go of my hand.

"good night, moonbin."
he was already fading into the crowd.
"i'm sorry."

my    dreams
of u s
now lay     shattered    on the  starlit streets.

"wait-" i desperately wanted to reach my hands out and feel his warmth on my fingertips once again. "eunwoo, wait!"

but his navy coat had already long dissolved into the velvet night.