My Random Ass Thoughts I can't Tell Anyone Else

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Okay...

I don't want to pretend to be happy or anything anymore. Not that I'm always pretending, but I'm having to more and more the past few weeks.

Here's the truth:

I'm not okay.

Back when I was young, maybe 9-10, I was depressed. Depressed for so many reasons. Too many to count...

That was in elementary school. I don't feel comfortable saying what grade I'm in now, but now life's even harder. I'm super stressed out half of the time, and sometimes life's a living hell for me.

I've only ever tried to kill myself once, and I never want to again. When I was maybe 11 (I forgot the exact age) I tried to slit my wrists. I couldn't take it anymore. My parents were always fighting, and I was tired of hearing it.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I just wanted to disappear. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I was called a 'slut' when I was about 11 years old. I mean, really? I only dated two guys, and I get called a slut?

So to all of the people who bully me, who call me gay, who tell me to die, stop. Just stop. I'm tired of waking up in the morning, happy, to be put down again.

So stop.

And to anyone else who's being bullied, who has depression, I'm here to talk to.

I know what you're going through, and I want to help.

I'm sorry for this little 'speech', but I had to get it off my chest.