The King's War

33. Death

AVERY

I sat on the railing of the gazebo with one knee hugged to my chest, willing the tears back into my eyes. My other leg dangled over the side of the railing, my toes hovering over the surface of the algae-covered pond. It wasn't the safest position to sit in, but I no longer cared if I fell.

Nate had rejected the cure.

He'd thrown away the opportunity for us to have a normal life together, and he'd done so with hardly any hesitation. Sure, there were other cure samples, other chances, but the gesture cut deeply all the same.

I should've known. I should've expected it. After all, what was I to an entire kingdom? Nate had ruled for longer than I've been alive, and we'd been together for less than a year. Put into perspective, it made perfect, logical sense.

But I'd hoped our love was worth more than that. It hurt so profoundly to be wrong.

I pictured Chase and Lydia's smug faces leering at me. They'd taunted me about this very outcome, but I'd refused to entertain the possibility because my faith in Nate had been stong. Not once did I ever consider that it would be misplaced.

I couldn't even rejoice over the fact that the Duke had let us both go. I could put this wretched place far behind me if I wanted to. But leaving was much easier said than done. I couldn't even move from my perch on the railing, much less get out of this house and this city. Reuniting with Nate, only to lose him so utterly, had sapped my body of all its strength.

The sound of footsteps rustling over grass came from somewhere behind me, but I didn't bother to look back to see who it was. I just stared down at the dark, murky water of the pond and wished it would swallow me whole.

The bleached wood creaked as someone sat down in front of me. Nate's features streamed into my awareness. His white shirt was rumpled, his brown hair disheveled, and his cheeks gaunt with hunger. I hadn't noticed any of these details when I'd walked into that office. Standing there, in front of me after weeks of being apart, he'd seemed the most marvelous thing I'd ever seen. I'd fallen into his arms and wished I'd never had to let go. Now I couldn't bear to look into his eyes.

"Avery," he said softly.

Less than an hour ago, I would've been thrilled to hear his voice again. Now, it only made me feel hollow. I didn't reply, allowing an empty silence to pass between us. He scooted closer to me and I didn't have the energy to flinch away.

"Avery, please say something."

I stared out at the pond for a long moment before answering. "You said I don't understand, but I do."

"You do?" He sounded confused but hopeful.

I nodded slowly. "I shouldn't have made you choose between your kingdom and me."

He hissed out a breath. "You didn't make me do anything. Balthazar was the one who forced my hand. I can't allow him and the rebels to prevail."

I looked up at him then, taking in the face I'd been missing for so long. All I could think of saying to that was "Why?"

Nate frowned down at me. "What do you mean, 'why?'"

"Why fight this battle at all?" I clarified. "Why do you need to be king so badly? "

Nate stared back at me, bewildered. "What did they do to you?"

I narrowed my eyes in distaste. "The rebels? Don't get me started. But one thing they didn't do was brainwash me."

Nate's mouth pressed into a thin line. He looked like he wanted to argue, but held his tongue. I smiled grimly, allowing myself to indulge in the grim satisfaction I felt at having chastised him.