Sex Lessons ; Zayn AU (Editing)

I'm not forcing myself!

Not edited

I can't even think straight when the pleasure takes over my body. I softly moan his name and look down at Zayn's head between my legs.

I shut my eyes again and moan again this time a bit louder. Is fingers were amazing but oh my god is tongue is is just... just... even better! 

My legs start shaking and I moan his name loudly as I come undone.

I blush a little as he lifts himself up shamelessly wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Wanna switch places?" He asks and  I nod a bit unsure.

"I am going to put on some panties" I say blushing slightly. He chuckles and lays down his hands underneath his hand just looking at me.

I quickly grab some panties putting them on along with  some sweats. "So I'm going to suck your dick?" I ask bluntly and turn red. "I-I'm sorry" I say and blush deep red.

"It's okay" he says sitting up leaning against the headboard. He unbuckles his belt calmly and I feel nerves wrecking my body.
What if I'm bad? What if I choke and die?

"C'mon" he says signing me to come over and I do blushing madly. "Get them off" he says lifting up his hips and I awkwardly unbutton his jeans and pull them down.

I awkwardly take the elastic band from his boxers in my hand and take a deep breath before pulling the down.

I almost screamed when his little friend popped up in my face.

Almost

I slowly take his rock hard member in my hand and kiss the top. I slowly take his member in my mouth and start bobbing my head carefully and slow. Every movement I make is slow and hesitant scared to do anything wrong.

I look up at him and he moans, so I guess I must be doing it right. His hands finds his way to my hair and he helps me a bit but it isn't rough or something.

I swirl my tongue a bit around and he moans my name making me smile slightly because fuck yeah guess I'm doing this fucking great.

"P-please do that again!" He moans and I do, like before he moans my name but this time he cums. Which in my mind is pretty fucking fast but hey I don't know.

Spit is quit

What if I swallow he may think I want this to happen but it's not like I can spit it out somewhere. I close my eyes and swallow the sticky liquid.

"Babe you're so amazing!" he says with a grin looking at me, I smile and lay down next to him pushing my hair out of my face.

We are both still wearing our shirts so it isn't that awkward but my lower area is still not covered.

I get up and put my panties back on throwing him his boxers and he puts them on still smiling.

I lay down again and hide my face into his chest when he has them on. I wish he could love me the way I think I love him. I chose him over my boyfriend and I would choose him over everything! Why can't he love me? Is it because I'm ugly? Or do I have a terrible personality? I wish I knew why he didn't like me because maybe I could change it.

"Ari do you know what the next lesson will be?!" He asks after a while and I swallow thickly because I know exactly what the next lesson will be and it honestly scares me.

"No" I say my voice sounding much more confident than I thought it would be. "You know it don't you" he asks and I shrug pulling away from him and sit up leaning against the headboard.

"Yes I know what's coming next" I say looking down at my hands nervously playing with my fingers.
"You know that I wont force you into anything right? I know you've had sex before but that doesn't mean you have to be ready now" he says looking at me and I turn my face away from him slightly feeling myself blush.

Why is he saying all those perfect words? They'll only make me fall harder in love with him, I don't wanna fall in love with him. I want to be what we first agreed to.

"I know you'll wait Zayn and I know you will never force me or anyone but I feel... kinda ready?" I say hesitating a bit almost as if asking him and he sighs taking my chin between his fingers and turning me to face him.

"Arianna you are not ready and I can see that, don't force yourself!" He says his eyes showing no emotion and I slowly push away his hand and get off the bed looking for my pants.

"I'm not forcing myself!" I say throwing him his pants. "Niall can come home any second now so you better get dressed" I say clumsily putting on my jeans nearly falling over 3 times.

I put on my socks and shoes walking downstairs not bothering to wait for him. It may give me a few seconds rest to get my mind straight.
I don't know why and how I got so confused but I know I am confused.

When Zayn comes walking down the stairs I smile and open the door for him to leave. His eyes widen and I turn around to see Ashton and Niall sucking each others faces off.

"Leave!" I say to Zayn and he shrugs showing no emotion at all and the kissing boys seem to notice us as Zayn walks past them not saying a single word.

They quickly pull apart and I smile happy for the boys that they found each other.  "You guys are fucking cute together!" I say and they blush looking at each other smiling.

I smile grabbing my jacket as I leave the two boys alone giving them the privacy they probably want.
I quickly walk home yelling a 'goodbye' to the lovers and sighs.

Why can't Zayn and I be like that?

He doesn't love me that's obvious but why did I choose him? If I chose Harry I would be with him right now holding his hand and laughing. He would tell me he loved me and call me beautiful and I would blush and tell him I loved him more.
It would've been perfect but I just had to choose Zayn the boy who doesn't love me and won't ever love me.

I still chose him knowing he won't ever love me but in my heart it felt right to choose him. He may never ever love me but I know I always love him.

[///|\\\]

So this is slightly dramatic :/

Could be me but then I remember BOYS DON'T LIKE ME :) ):

Anyway I hope you enjoyed it!

FEEDBACK PLEASE

~ Mackanzie.