Girl At Home | Nalu One-Shot

Girl At Home

He is now standing in front of me with his very intimidating aura that would frighten me all the time, but I like this aura, I love how cool this aura is. I love how dangerous he is.

"What do you want, Natsu?" I can't look at him straight in the eye, I might get lost and drowned. I might want to swim again in those beautiful locks and in the end, I'll regret it again, Those pair of locks I always adored and loved. It's too intimidating. I can still feel his stares.

They were scary right now.

It's like it's telling me to give in to him. And I know it's not good. It will be the worst.

"Do you want to hang out?" he said with his arrogant voice.

His voice soothes the demons in my head and when I finally got the guts to look at him. I looked up and gazed. And there, I was lost again.

His eyes are like the oceans, intimidating, beautiful but once you go deeper and lower you might get suffocated. The shores might tempt you but you mustn't be tempted. Know where you stand.

And I know where I do, not beside him, not in his heart but far away where I should only be watching, far away, where my grasp couldn't reach him.

"Uhh... Sure... When?"

He beamed at my response, "Right now, can you?"

I nodded which made him grin.

I'm a stupid girl.

I am absurd and very easy to predict, anybody can use me, I trust too quickly knowing that these people that I trust would hurt me again, and he is not an exemption.

We had lunch together at a cafe near the university we both were studying.

He was talking about his day and here I am looking at his smile and grin and made some hand movements while he talks.

One reason why I liked him because he can do something that I couldn't, and that is being confident.

I can feel how confident he is while he talks while I hide and stutter, lurk in the shadows with my books.

He was somebody I looked up to and that is why I started liking him, I wanted to be like him and so I liked him, very much.

We didn't have a class after lunch so we spent half a day together. He bought me things and we talked. He shared his dreams.

He told me he is losing the one he loves, and I know I will never be that girl.

"Can we hang out like this, again?" he asked as he pulled out the shotgun door and I stepped out of his wheels.

"Yeah, sure." I bitterly smiled not looking at him.

He hugged me, "I had fun."

"You will always be right beside me right?" he whispered, I nodded.

I went home and wept.

Everyone might be wondering why I cried while spending the day with Natsu Dragneel, I mean he is everything I wasn't and everyone dreamed to become like him and to be his.

And me, a loner, a mysterious alone lady from the back of the class just spent a day with a guy like him, I will be considered very lucky.

But I think the otherwise,

Because he has a girl at home and everybody knows that.

And what I mean by home is that,

his heart.

There is another girl in his heart,

Everybody ships Lisanna and Natsu.

It was always been them ever since time immemorial, always been and always will.

Then what am I to him?

Before we hang out and I secretly hope I can live in his heart as well but it is too occupied by Lisanna that it felt like I no longer fit there.

But why do he shares his hopes and dreams with me though, why...

He tells me his dreams and there is no space of me in there.

So that he can make me feel that I am not there?

Before I always wanted to become one of his dreams but that's too impossible.

The rain came pouring, like how my tears fell from my eyes. It flowed like a river on my face.

But something came into my mind all of a sudden.

And it was...

How would his girl reacts if she finds out he's hanging out with me.

How would she feel that his man had no time for her while he has time for some other girl?

How would his girl reacts if she knows that Natsu's making me feel whole while she's at home wondering what she lacked?

If I was Lisanna...

If I was a girl... How would I feel?

If the guy that I trusted too much, tore me apart.

I would feel upset.

And that's Lisanna's feeling right now.

And in the middle of my thoughts. I fell asleep.

The next day, there was a game Juniors vs Seniors, we had to cheer for our Seniors, so I'm at the bleachers.

Natsu's playing, I didn't want to come and watch but we had to.

After the games, he ran going to Lisanna and hugged her since we won.

I bitterly smiled at them.

They're happy.

He was searching the crowd and his eyes met mine.

Please, don't look at me, you got a girl.

I turned around and walked away.

I don't wanna look at it again, cause in the first place those pair of eyes were never mine, they belong to her, you belong to her. Every. Bit. Of. You.

Cause I'm not the girl.

I don't want to look at it again and give in again.

I'm not anymore a stupid girl.

I ate a sandwich for lunch and hid from you.

"Damnit, there you are. Com'on, let's eat." I was stunned when I heard his soothing voice.

Don't look at him, Lucy.

Don't look at him.

He has a girl.

And it's not you.

He held my hand and walked going to the cafe, but I let go of his hand like how I'm gonna let go of him... right now.

"I don't wanna." I murmured.

"Hmm?"

"I said, I don't wanna."

"Why?"

"Go to Lisanna, she's waiting."

Look at his eyes, Lucy.

But this time don't be scared.

Face your fears.

"What?"

"I said, you have a girl! Lisanna is waiting for you. Don't see me again. Don't talk to me. I don't want to see you, ever. Again."

"Lucy, wait!"

"She's waiting for you, don't take her for granted." my eyes heat up and the next thing I knew, tears were falling from my eyes as I let him go, I paid the price.

I fell in love with a guy who has a girl in her heart.

Natsu, I love you but you've got a Girl at home. And everybody knows that.