I'm the Bad Guy

Sam.

      Ah Sam. What a good person. You see, Sam and i have been best friends since 3th grade. At first, they seemed to be the bully that hung around and everyone was afraid of them. Not me.

As a matter of fact, when you got to know Sam better, they were so sweet and funny! To bad I had to ruin that for myself, huh? Here, let me explain.

I'd say, seventh grade would be the time they had asked me out, to be their girlfriend. I didn't mind so i agreed. Little did i know i wasn't ready for a relationship at all. The first time we broke up was because my parents found out. I wasn't out that i was pan-sexual. As a matter of fact, i didn't even know what that was. To be clear, Sam is gender-fluid non-binary.

We broke up seven more times after that. All of them were my fault. I was the one who kept breaking up with them. "But why?" You may ask. 

I have bi-polar disorder, anxiety, depression and many other mental issues. I thought it would've been better for me, but it only made it worse for them. It hurt both of us, because of my own selfish needs. Oh don't worry, i feel awful about it. Always has and might always.

You know when you hear about those people who break up and get back together every week? Yeah. It's kinda like that. The seven times i broke up was withing 3 years though. That's a little more to take in. I'll take the blame one hundred percent and I'll take the guilt with it. 

It isn't fun, considering i feel guilty every second of my days now. Oh but don't worry, i did this to myself. I don't want anyone to ever feel bad for me. I did this, so it's well deserved. Although it does hurt. It definitely made my depression worse, that's a known fact. 

Another reason i broke up was because I'm that one angry girlfriend. You see, the most recent time we broke up was because of my anger. Don't get me wrong, i never hit them or hurt them in any physical way, but i did hurt them emotionally. Which is just as bad. The last time we broke up, I had caught an attitude and figured 'it would be the best for us'. Then again, i have no real reason. Now here i am. Explaining this all to you. 

Lesson being: Don't be that person  who breaks up just because you can't handle something. Try and work things out first.  

I am this kind of person.