Love // Hyland & Camila

Lamaze

Hyland

"You've got to be kidding me," I mumbled into Cami's ear.

"Do it or she's going to kick you out," she replied softly, elbowing me in the stomach. "Besides, this was your idea."

"I didn't know it was going to be taught by one of Satan's minions."

"Whatever. Just do it." I could tell Cami was trying not to laugh.

"Blake would be a natural at this, he can stand in for me and give me a quick lesson at the hospital beforehand."

She snorted, catching the attention of the She-Devil across the room. Immediately, the instructor locked her gaze on me, eyes narrowing, as she made her way toward us.

"Do it now!" Cami silently yelled.

"Hee, hee, hoo. Hee, hee, hoo." I began making the ridiculously exaggerated Lamaze breathing sounds.

The instructor stood before me and it really wasn't a far stretch for me to imagine her with horns and a forked tail, holding a whip. "You shouldn't be staring at me, sir, but at your wife, who is having your baby."

Not wanting to cause any conflict, I obediently stared back at Cami and resumed coaching her breathing. As soon as the woman was out of earshot, I spoke softly. "Sorry. I'm a trained police officer. My eyes tend to go to the biggest threat in the room." Cami elbowed me and I started my breathing again.

The instructor continued to move about the room, shouting directions.

"What's wrong?" Cami asked between breaths.

"Nothing. I'm still just a little scarred from the birthing video. It was not pretty."

She giggled softly. "You've seen birthing videos before. Hello, Mr. Paramedic, remember?"

"Our training videos were not that gory. Besides, I practiced deliveries on a rubber pelvis with a fake baby covered in gel. Messy yes, gory no."

Cami's eyes flicked to make sure the instructor was still occupied elsewhere. "You're a paramedic, babe. You've seen lots of gore."

"True, but I've never imagined any of that gore coming out of my wife, and I'd like to keep it that way. The way that woman in the video was screaming, I kept expecting her to give birth to an elephant or something."

She giggled softly. "If it scared you, imagine how I feel. That's what's going to happen to me!"

Giving her a gentle hug, I kissed her forehead. "I promise I'll do whatever I can to help you, Goody. Even if it means panting like a dog."

She smiled. "It's only fair. After all, it was all your panting that got us here in the first place."

My eyes widened. "Now that is not fair, at all. You were panting just as much as I was."

"Are you sure about that?" She asked, continuing to goad me.

"Positive. I always make sure you're panting. I consider it part of my job description."

A laugh escaped her and she tried to muffle it with a cough. Quickly, I searched the room for the drill sergeant. "Don't worry. Cruella DeVil is emasculating another poor man right now. She didn't hear you enjoying yourself over here."

"Thank goodness. She is kind of a tyrant, isn't she?"

"That's putting it mildly. The lady could send armies running in retreat. How many more of these classes do we have left?" I wasn't sure I could take much more of this.

"Four."

"How do you feel about natural childbirth? With a midwife, perhaps?"

"You don't want to come anymore do you?"

"Not one bit. There has to be something better than this."

"The classes aren't mandatory, Hyland. It's just to help the hospital get ready for us, so our check in will be easier, and to give me some help with getting through the delivery."

"I'll buy you every Lamaze and birthing video on the planet if you'll tell me we don't ever have to come here again." A woman who was moaning loudly across the room interrupted my thoughts. Her husband was by her side, visibly coaching her to breathe with exaggerated breaths. "Um, they do realize this is just practice, not the real deal, right?" I asked. A quick glance around the room showed I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable.

"That's the couple I was telling you about. Remember? The actors that run the community theater?" Cami's eyes widened as the woman got louder.

"That's it. I can't take it anymore." Standing, I pulled Cami to her feet, grabbing her yoga mat and dragging her to the door.

"Where are you going?" The instructor spewed out angrily, her eyes narrowing as she turned on us.

"Sorry, family emergency. Got to go!" We hurried through the door, practically running down the hall.

"Hyland, slow down. I can't keep up." Immediately I slowed my pace, feeling bad for dragging her along that way.

"Cami, I'm so sorry. I just had to get out of there. I think all those people are crazy."

She snickered. "They were pretty funny."

"Maybe you can visit with your mom, or mine, and let them give you some tips. That lady tonight was way into her job."

Cami laughed again. "Yeah, she kind of was. I guess we lucked out that she's retired from nursing."

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It's been a while, I know! 🙃 I'm trying to be more consistent guys I swear!! I'm going to update my imagines book next, I've got a bunch of those written. And I want to do good things with this book because Camandre is my baby literally! Thanks for sticking with me you guys 🤧