When The Light Seeks The Dark

Chapter 4

"What are we doing, Em?" Ruby asked, panting as she rolled off her body to the side. Landing on her back and looking up at the ceiling.

Emma wiped her sweaty brow against the back of her hand and tried to catch her breath after their early morning marathon of sex. She groaned low in her throat, announcing her annoyance with the incessant question Ruby had been asking her over the last three days. And just like the last three days, the blonde answered with the same three words. "I don't know."

She counted to five and before mentally congratulating herself when Ruby replied with the same sentence she'd used the last three times they had had this conversation. "Neither do I."

Truth be told, she did know why they were doing this. Emma had become dependant on the physical distraction of lovemaking as her greatest coping mechanism. In fact, not only had she become attached to the act itself, she was becoming attached to her friend. Or lover, she supposed.

"I do have one theory..." Ruby trailed off distantly as she played with a strand of long, dark hair.

Emma shifted so that she was facing her friend, elbow propping her head up as her long curtain of blonde hair fell off to one side and spilled against the pillow beneath her head. "Oh?" she asked sweetly, still in her daze of post-sex endorphins. She languidly drew circles around the breast closest to her as she waited for her friends reply.

Ruby inhaled slowly, stretching her arms out above her head as she smiled back at Emma. "Mmhmm. I think you're using my body as a distraction."

Emma smiled sardonically back at the brunette as she traced lightly over the nipple closest to her. "Do you mind?" she asked silkily.

Ruby bit her lower lip and sucked in another breath - this one having nothing to do with stretching tired muscles. "Well... not particularly." Emma grinned wolfishly and twisted the small, hardened nub in her hand teasingly. Ruby moaned, seemingly ready to pick up their earlier activities when she seemed to collect herself. Pushing away Emma's hand, she continued, her voice low and firm with newly found purpose. "But I don't think it's healthy, Em."

Emma snapped her hand back, her face losing all of its softness as she rolled her eyes and then her body, away from Ruby.

"Emma... c'mon, don't be like that. You know this isn't right." Ruby insisted, placing her hand on a pale, bare shoulder as she tried to reason with the Princess who beginning to shut her out again. "It isn't healthy-" The blonde huffed irritably as she swung her legs over the bed frame and shot out of the bed in an effort to get away from the other woman. "Emma! Don't run away from me, I am only trying to help."

"You were helping me. By letting me forget." Emma growled in response, not bothering to slip anything on as she headed towards the bath chamber. She heard movement behind her and rolled her eyes when Ruby's footsteps came up behind her. Her good mood had vanished, and she hated Ruby for being the cause, when she had intrusted the brunette to help her.

"Graham wouldn't want you to forget." Ruby pointed out softly, trying to peek around at Emma's face, which she kept hidden behind tendrils of blonde hair.

"WELL, HE ISN'T HERE IS HE?!" Emma barked angrily, lashing out by pushing the taller wolf backwards.

Ruby stumbled several feet but quickly regained her balance, her last of her patience spent as she charged back at the hostile Royal, snarling. "NO! He isn't! Because he's dead Emma! He died - saving you! And this is how you repay him! By wallowing in your own self-made torture chamber and using sex and alcoholism to pass your time! What a great way to remember him!" She was in the blonde's personal space now, the wolf in her clawing to be let out as she towered over Emma, eyes flashing a ominous yellow.

"ENOUGH!" Emma demanded as she brought both fists down on Ruby's chest violently. Ruby grabbed the blonde's wrists and tried to push her backwards to no avail. "NO! You don't get to use me too!"

Ruby froze at the accusation, the yellow fading from her eyes as her grip loosened enough for Emma to free herself.

"Don't pretend you haven't been using me as much as I have been using you." Emma's voice was weak and brittle as tears flooded her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She wasn't sure why she had said that to Ruby but she found herself believing her words the more she took in the deep blue eyes of her friend, a look of understanding ghosting over them as she pulled Emma into a warm embrace.

"I never meant to use you sweetie." Ruby breathed out. Emma felt the last shred of her dignity leave her as her knees gave out beneath her and she sank to the stone floor, burying her face into Ruby's navel. Hands twisted in blonde hair and scratched soothingly at her scalp as she broke down, sobbing into the embrace as she listened to the brunette's words. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you, I know how badly you've taken Graham's passing and I should be more patient. But Em..." She stopped scratching the blonde's scalp, causing Emma to look up at her with watery green eyes and tear stained cheeks, "This isn't healthy. You need to start leaving this room, visit with your parents - they're worried sick about you and it's hurting them that you won't have an audience with them. You need to go outside, let your wolf out and reconnect with nature. And this..." Ruby indicated the two of them with a finger, "this needs to stop. At least the sex does. For now. I don't want to feel like I am using you, and I don't like feeling like I am being used. We both need to heal, but we need to heal by getting on with our lives. People die... friends and loved ones die... it isn't easy, but we'll learn to live with it."

Emma buried her face back into Ruby's toned flesh but nodded her acceptance. She knew what Ruby was saying was the truth. She needed to get a grip on herself, Graham wouldn't want this of her. In fact, he would've have probably dragged her ass out of this room himself. The thought made the very corners of her lips turn up in the faintest of smiles before she sobered. "It just hurts so much, Rubes."

"I know, sweetie." The brunette cooed, commencing the head scratches she knew Emma found soothing.

"Take me back to bed for a little while." The blonde requested quietly, wanting nothing more to hide away for the rest of the day in Ruby's arms.

The taller woman said nothing as she easily hoisted the broken blonde from the floor and guided her towards the bed chambers where they would spend much of their day curled up together.