Addicted

Chapter 5

It's five minutes over. He's late. Or maybe he's not even coming. I'm biting my nails. I do it always when i'm nervous. Maybe it was just a joke. But then i see him. He's walking towards me wearing a black hoodie and skinny jeans. I don't even have to say it but he looks so attractive. His dark hair has been put perfectly and his eyes are bright looking at me. He smiles carefully and it makes me think why he doesn't do it more. He has a perfect smile that shows his white teeth. Everything about him is perfect to me. I can't think anything negative of him. When i see him in front of me i forget how he could be a killer, a criminal or something like that. I just see him.

-You came, he smiles to me.

-You're late, i grin back to him.

-C'mon, he says and takes my hand. He squeezes my hand tightly and i know that he does to make me feel safe. And i feel. Just he beside me makes me feel safe.

-You found my message? he asks smirking.

-Yeah, how did you get in? And why did you even come? i ask back. Zayn laughs a bit.

-It was easy to come in, you don't have pretty good security in your house, Zayn says seriously.

-And i had to come to see if you're still alive, he adds.

-Well for now i am, i say.

-Keep it like that, Zayn answers and i'm not sure if it was as a joke or not. With him it wasn't a joke for sure. Zayn takes me to a park and we sit down on the grass.

-I don't even care that i don't know anything about you, i admit observing him. He looks so perfect smiling there.

-Now we do something about it Es, he says. I realize that i haven't even told my name to him. Why did he call me Es? It's like from Esmeralda. Does he know it?

-What did you call me? i laugh to him.

-Es, i like it more because it's shorter than Esmeralda, which is very beautiful name anyway, Zayn answers.

-How do you know my name? i ask raising my eyebrows.

-I knew where you live too, he reminds me grinning. How does he know? He's full of things that i will never know. I don't even want to all of them i guess.

-So now, we ask questions from each other, but i can't tell you about my.. Businesses, Zayn explains. That choice of word points to his work or hobby i don't know what it is for him. This game sounds interesting. We get to know each other a little better, actually we get to know each other even a little. We don't know each other. It's a little scary how you can feel so connectioned to someone even you don't know him.

-Ok, you can start, i say taking a good stance.

-What do you want to be? Zayn asks observing my mien. He decided to start with the most difficult. He reads my mind. I have this huge war against myself and my role in this world. But what is really what i want to be?

-You know i want to be something else than what i'm now. I hate to be that good girl, i admit. I'm not sure what i want to be but i'm sure what i don't.

-Do you have a family here? i ask. I thought it's an easy one but Zayn seems to be distressed.

-No, i left them and moved here alone a year ago, he finally answers.

-Why? i ask even it's not my turn anymore.

-My mom is dead and my dad was an alcoholic, he says.

-I'm sorry, i whisper.

-It's not your fault, but anyway my turn again. Were you scared of me? Zayn asks.

-Never, i answer immediately. I don't have to think that. I was never afraid of Zayn. He nods smiling. Looks like he's happy to hear that.

-Why you didn't hurt me? i ask. It seems that our game is more like questions about our feelings than about us.

-I saw immediately that you didn't belong there and i saw that there's something special in you. And what makes you think that i hurt people? Zayn explains and asks back.

-I don't know about your business, but Jack was sure that you would have done something to me, i shrug.

-I'm not that bad guy. I don't hurt people usually, aspecially never women, Zayn laughs.

-I never thought that you could hurt me, i whisper. Zayn brings his lips close to mine breathing partically against my mouth.

-I'd never hurt you, he mumbles and kisses me. I feel how my body is on fire by his touch. He kisses me roughly but still softly. And he shows that i'm under his control. Again the kiss ends too soon. I could kiss him for the rest of my life.

-Let's go on with the game, Zayn winks to me.

-What do you want to do with your life? i ask smiling. This should be easy, but i really wanna hear about his dreams.

-If somebody hears this i'll be killed, but i'd want to get out of you know my business, forget it, get a real job and live with my love a nice life somewhere beautiful, Zayn explains smiling.

-Why you don't just stop it? i ask.

-It's not that easy. I once got involved, and now it's difficult to leave, he answers sadly.

-Are you a sort of boss? i ask.

-Yeah, sort of, Zayn laughs a bit. Seems like it's difficult to explain.

-You can't do anything? i mumble. It feels horrible that Zayn is so connected to something and he can't just end it.

-I'm trying all the time, it's a process, i have to earn their trust, Zayn smiles. I don't even know what exactly he's talking about but it makes me happy that he's trying to get out of it. He doesn't want to be part of that dangerous world.

-If i could help you, i whisper. Zayn smiles smoothing my check and neck with his hand.

-You already do. You give me a motivation to fight. For you i want to get out of it and live normally, Zayn smiles.