Permission

Robin. It all came down to her eventually. Memories flash through my mind of all those times we spent together. I knew this idea was crazy and the chances that she would say no again were pretty high. But love is a crazy thing. It doesn't have to make sense. The universe is a crazy thing. If it wasn't, Tracy wouldn't have been dead. She would've been with me, wrapped around in my arms. We would still drive our kids to soccer practice together and watch them go to college. We would still be dreaming of growing old together. Tracy. This was a big moment in my life. I couldn't do it without asking Tracy.

I went out to sit on my porch. The night was cold and breezy. The stars were very visible tonight. I liked to think that one of these stars is Tracy, watching down on me, taking care of me and loving me.

'How are you, Tracy?' I said, looking up at the sky.

'Today I told the kids the story of how we met. Telling them the story made me miss you so much. It's been 6 years since you left me. I have felt empty ever since. But today, a different kind of loneliness is gnawing me. You see, telling that story also made me realize that I might still have feelings for Robin. Don't be jealous, okay? I still love you and no one ever can replace your spot in my heart. But you've always said to me that first love is hard to forget, right? You still loved Max. I still love Robin. You're out there somewhere with Max. Can I please have this one last chance to go after Robin? Tracy, I'm an old man, and I don't want to be alone anymore. It scares me that someday I'll miss you so much that I'll come up there, among the stars, to be with you again. I need Robin. The kids approve. Are you okay with it?'

A cold wind blew and it started drizzling. Tracy gave her answer.

'I'll take that as a yes. Goodbye, Tracy. I'll love you forever".

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I went inside to get the Blue French Horn.