𝔻𝕣𝕦𝕘𝕤 & ℂ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪 {𝕂𝕃𝔸ℕℂ𝔼}

It's Getting Hard To Fake

Just a heads up: in this fanfiction Pidge is non-binary so I will be using they/their pronouns whenever I am referring to them. That is all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

The air was hot and humid. Keith felt sweat clinging to his 'Bring Me The Horizon' band tee as he had a glance around the cafeteria. The noise echoed off every wall and bounced around his brain. Nobody was quiet. Not anymore.

The gossip carried like dust in the wind around that high school. Everyone seemed to engage with the fable about the boy who always got laid and Keith found it horribly disgusting. He wouldn't be surprised if suddenly it came to light that some sort of ultra STD was spreading around almost everybody attending the school because they all wanted a turn with someone who actually knew what they were doing. Damn horny teens. Keith gripped onto the blue plastic tray tighter as he sat down on one of the only empty tables left in the whole room.

Before he could even look up from a tray a small body crashed and landed against the other side of the table, slamming a diary on the table. Keith jumped in shock.

"Jesus, Pidge, I-"

"SHUT IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT!" They yelled, furiously scribbling down in their notebook. "I'm calculating."

Even though the book was upside down and seemed to be nothing but a mess of numbers and algebra, Keith could clearly make up the words 'Lover Boy Lance' scribbled at the top of the page. "Umm... Calculating what, exactly?"

Pidge looked up from the book to smirk at Keith and raise their eyebrows.

"I don't want to know, do I?"

"No, you do not." They smiled then looked back down in the book.

Keith sighed, taking a bite of his cheesy garlic pizza. The flavors exploded on his tongue, making his stomach rumble. He slept in a bit too late this morning so he hadn't eaten all day. The wait was well worth it.

"Yo ow woht I wamt to ow?" Keith asked his mouthful.

Pidge glared, still not looking up. "Again in English, please?"

The raven-haired boy swallowed his food hastily before continuing. "You know what I wanna know?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Why everyone at this fucking school is obsessed with Lance McClain. If he was a female, he'd literally be crucified by everyone. Not to mention the amount of STD's he must've had in the past..." Keith shook his head, feeling goosebumps rise all over his pale skin at the mere thought. "Like, I get it. Not every school has someone who's attempting to sleep around with everyone at least once. It's just gross and disturbing."

Pidge shrugged. "It's interesting, more than anything. It's like an obsession for those with boring-ass lives. I think people just need something to latch themselves to. Think of this school as if it's the 'Mean Girls' universe."

The raven-haired boy groaned.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy that movie." The brunette glared. "You adored it when we were twelve."

"Yeah, twelve. I'm seventeen now, my tastes have changed."

"Let's just avoid the technicalities. Anyways, as I was saying before someone ever-so rudely interrupted me-"

Keith stuck his tongue out.

"-think of this school as the high school from 'Mean Girls'. Everyone has got their social archetypes, even us. Instead of having the Plastics ruling the school, we've got Lance McClain and the interesting tales of his sex life."