she | rilaya

chapter one;

maya hart

i walked into history class alone as usual. not the lonely kind of alone, but the kind of alone that you choose. the kind that makes you mysterious. people just annoy me. they're loud, obnoxious wastes of space that expect you to talk to them. people suck. the only person i could stand was lucas.

lucas was my boyfriend, and according to most girls, the most attractive guy in school. everyone at school either wanted to be him or be with him. i was basically his accessory in their minds, popular by default. i've known him since i was a kid, and even though we've been dating for years, i've never once wanted to be his girlfriend. i just agreed to date him in seventh grade and was always too scared to break up.

as i sat down in my normal seat, i prepared myself for an hour and a half of the most boring class ever. the teacher, mr. matthews, only taught lessons that connected to his daughter's life. they were mainly about depression and sexuality. the thing about his daughter, riley, was that she was the most hated kid at our school. the entire student body despised her, mainly for two reasons, her being gay and her trying to kill herself last semester. they coined her as the school freak.

this time, the word 'love' was displayed on the board. i grimaced. he was about to start some cheesy speech, asking specific people personal questions like it wasn't an invasion of privacy.

"love," mr. matthews started, pointing on the words on the chalkboard. "how many of you think you've been in love?" he glanced around the room as hands went up. i put my up, even though i knew what i had with lucas was not love. at least not to me.

"that's a lot. why do you think you've fallen in love? maya?" i rolled my eyes as soon as i heard my name. i had about ten seconds to blurt out something before i got detention for not paying attention.

"well, i love lucas. i've been with him for years. he's the only person i can stand," i explained, not even turning to see lucas's reaction. mr. matthews laughed.

"you think you're in love because you can stand the person? that's not love, maya. that's nowhere close," mr. matthews said before turning back to the board to continue his lecture. tell me about it, i thought, sinking down in my seat.

---

i stepped our of the school into the new york air, and smiled. this city was my favorite place on earth. all the people, the broadway shows, the city lights, i loved it all. i secretly wanted to be a broadway star when i graduated, but i'd never tell anyone. it was just a dream.

"maya! babe!" i heard lucas yell from behind me. he wrapped his arm around me, breathing heavily from running to catch up. "i missed you," he added, pecking my lips.

"how sweet," i smiled at him, and he grabbed my hand and started pulling me in the direction of my house. he walked me to and from school everyday. he was the perfect boyfriend. it's why i could never break up with him. he was amazing.  there had to be something wrong with me if i didn't love him.

when we got to my house, i waved goobye and stepped inside. "i'm home!" i called. my mom walked in, hugging me like she always did. she kissed the top of my head and i smiled up at her.

i lived only with my mom. my dad left us when i was six. no one ever told me why but i figured out a couple years after he left that he had been cheating on my mom with a man he met at a bar. a year ago he married the man, and my mom was devestated. i couldn't imagine her pain. i hated my dad for hurting her like that.

"how are you, honey?" she took some snacks out for me, and i threw my backpack by the door before following her.

"good. how was the date?" i said bitterly. it didn't matter to me that she was dating again. i wanted her happy. the problem was that she only dated people so she could 'make life better for me', as she said. last night she went out with my science teacher, mr. brown, since i was failing his class. she claimed all she wanted to do was help me, but it made me mad that she was sabotaging her own life for me.

"fine. he's coming over soon, so you have to promise to be nice!" she scolded, before leaving the room to do laundry. when she was gone, i rolled my eyes and cleaned up the mess she made with snacks. after a couple hours of watching the office, i grabbed my keys and drove downtown. there was an abandoned parking garage in a rundown part of the city that i always went to when i was bored or upset. today i was a little of both, though i don't really know why i was upset. i just got that way sometimes.

i added a little message in graffiti before climbing the stairs to the top. i always painted something, whether it was song lyrics or flowers. the walls were like something straight from my mind. today i added a rainstorm, cloudy and sad, like my mood.

when i got to the top, i stared out at the horizon. the sun was setting, and it casted a golden glow on the city. this is what i loved about new york. it was gorgeous. gorgeous, except for a figure blocking my view. it was a girl, standing on the edge of the roof, gazing at the view. i stepped closer and saw that it was riley matthews, freak of the school.

she looked so fragile up there, like she could shatter into a million pieces at the slightest breeze. i just looked at her for a minute, watching as she stepped closer and closer to the edge. it wasn't until she looked down that i realized she was going to jump.

i felt my stomach drop, and i panicked. if she died, i would be partly responsible. i didn't really want that on my conscious, and despite her being a freak, i only pretended to hate her like everyone else because i wanted to blend into the crowd. before i could think it over, i screamed.

"riley!" i grabbed her wrist and pulled, "please get down from-" i felt her entire body on mine as i fell backwards onto the concrete. i froze, my cheeks heating up. her legs were tangled with mine, and her face was so close, i could feel her breath on my lips. i couldn't move. all i could do was look up at her brown eyes, completely unreadable. before i knew it, she leaned down, pressing our lips together.

the kiss was gentle, unlike all my rushed kisses with lucas. her lips were softer, and she tasted of peach. she pulled back, breathing heavily, before leaning in again, slowly. the second kiss was more passionate, hungry. i started to kiss back, until i remembered who she was.

"what the hell? get off me, you dyke! i'm not one of you!" i yelled, pushing her off me, back onto the ground. she grimaced at my words, before standing up and sweeping her hair out of her face.

"sorry. i thought it would be my last moment to live, so i had to do something crazy," she said, no emotion in her voice. "but i don't know about it now. i mean, you actually kissed me back for a second. maybe my depression is cured?" she joked, faking a smile. "thanks, maya. i guess i'll see you later," she added, passing me to start going down the stairs.

i stood there, dazed, for a minute. riley matthews just kissed me. i kissed back. why did i kiss back?