FATHER OF MY CHILD... Mr Hollywood UPDATED

CHAPTER 24

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                                                                                     CHAPTER 24.

He might never forgive us. Those words run a marathon through my mind and continue to run laps around it until my temples begin to throb. I don't get. I still don't get it.

"He might never forgive you and yet." I begin, pressing my temples with my thumb and index finger. The tightness is unbearable to the point where I feel nauseous and suddenly, the shade does very little to shield me from the heat. "And yet you keep it from him. I mean I understand why Mrs Ainsworth said what she did but right now it seems like you have more loyalty towards me than your brother."

"Do you want me to tell him?" I release my temples and settle my eyes on Emma. The subject of Ashton is enough to turn me into a nervous bilious mess – but it is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Emma.

"It's not what I'm saying. I just find it odd that everyone is on my side." I admit stretching my hand to touch Emma's bare feet. Each time I look at her, I question myself on why I'm irresolute about the matter but then I remember all the reasons why I've built tower after tower of concerns in my head. As far as I'm concerned, nothing has transpired yet to knock those towers to the ground. Meeting Ashton has managed to sway me but the fact that I don't want to hurt him congeals my fears and I am back to zero.

"You see it that way but the way I see it now is different." I don't question her on how it's different because I know she'll go on. "Knowing Ashton," she halts her speech, plucks a piece of grass from the ground and plays with it as she continues. "It would be less of a blow coming from you. If you sit him down and explain your circumstances then he'll possibly understand."

"Possibly." I scoff under my breath. I cannot work with possibly. There are so many outcomes to this secret being revealed that forgetting about the whole article would be better for me. If there was a way my daughter and I could quietly leave this place and go someone else – another state, maybe back home – I would gladly take that offer.

"I'm sure you don't care about him hating me." I say to her.

It's inevitable I know – the hate will come. So far she has told me that Ashton finds it hard to forgive and that one fact alone is enough to halt my plans of telling him.

"Actually I do. In the long run, hating you will only harm him. There's nothing clean about not forgiving. After Jennifer...." She raises her hand and lightly slaps her lips. I'm guessing she's said something that needed to be kept alone, locked away.

Exhaling, I lie on my back and look at the sky from the shadows of the tree. It's exceptionally blue today without a dab of cloud staining the azure.

My mind tells me that I should ask about Jennifer but my lips refuse to take part in my curiosity and stay clumped shut. She must be a taboo subject for Alyssa to react the way she did for accidently letting her name slip but it doesn't stop me from wondering who she is.

Given the subject we were discussing I'm sure she has every bit to do with Ashton's 'unforgiving' nature.

The afternoon is quite successful. By the time Alyssa has to go home, 'Aunt Alyssa' has stuck. Emma clings to her – all discomfort gone and refuses to say goodbye. We're nearing the apartment and the clever girl that she is, has managed to deter every conversation that leads to goodbye.