My Darkest Thoughts

My thoughts when i wake up

Well once you wake up, you normally have a good thing saying like" today such a beautiful day, I hope I'll find money." But that's not what I think. I think about a lot of bad things like " will I find dead animal, or one of my friends outside stalking me." No people would think that's weird but around here that's what I normally wake up too. On a good day I think to myself that I can possibly be able to mow the lawn to get paid. But that is only twice a month. I love when people say this to me,"i love you" I wonder

If that actually means anything because love is a feeling, and feelings are sometimes annoying to me. I wonder if they actually mean it, or they are just saying it to make me feel better. I also love that people call me smart or handsome or anything else like that, that should make people feel appreciated. Is it really that. Or is it just an emotion. Emotions are mean and cruel. I hate having good emotions, because they eventually go away. Unless that is I find her texts to wake up too.