A special girl

Chapter 1

Jan.1.15

I felt alone today, like most days.
But today was different.
I really was alone.
No one was there, but they were at the same time.
I felt like an out cast.
A freak.
Does anyone know how that truly feels?
I feel it everyday.
I hurt today.
More than ever.
The pain was latching on, and I couldn't get it off.
It hurt because of him.
He had betrayed me.
He lied right to my face.
I just want this to be over.
For all the pain, to just disappear.
But that's the thing about depression.
It never truly goes away.
It's always there.
It's a voice inside my head.
It's another monster.
It wants attention.
It's taking control of me.
I don't want to do it, but it makes me.
I shouldn't, but I can't stop.
It likes the pain.
It wants more.
I want it to stop.
I just want to die.
I have that feeling a lot.
I'm tired of it.
Can't I just be normal?
No.
I have to bare the pain, brought upon me by those monsters.
I can't say it to them though.
So I write it down here.
In this journal.
I hope people find this the day I leave.
See how much pain they brought me.
They won't care of course.
I did them a favor.
They tell me all the time, 'just do us a favor and die already.'
No problem.
I'm giving myself the number of days to how many years old I am.
14.
I promised myself.
No more than that.
And Sadly no less.
And I can't break promises.
I already have notes wrote to them all.
Can't wait for them to read them.
Especially him.
He's making me suffer.
Anyway, I'm leaving sooner then later.
Can't wait.
Till then,I'm off to speak with my demon.
His name is depression, and we are doing art like always.
I'm the artist, and my arms are the canvas.
No need for paint.
I have blood,sweat, and tears.
Until tomorrow.

— nothing