Lost & Insecure

Twenty-Five - Letting Go

Dana and Katie were miserable apart. They spent their entire winter breaks thinking about each other. Katie was gone, and Dana was numb. Dana didn't know whether it was her pain medication at first, or if it was her still in shock, but she didn't cry. Not once over Katie. The only time she shed a tear was when Katie walked away. Granted, Dana wasn't one to cry, but she never questioned if she'd cry over losing the girl she loved. She thought that'd be inevitable.

Dana was sitting in her windowsill, staring out the window, absentmindedly tapping her pencil on the notepad in her lap. She was staring at the house across the street. The house she never thought much about before was all she could think about in that moment. All she thought about was the large house with the massive tree in the front yard that made it easy to sneak into the window on the second floor. All she saw was the small roof in front of that window which made it easy to wait for the window to be opened so someone could be let in. All Dana could remember was the feeling of crawling through that window with as much grace as possible in order to stay quiet, but failing nearly every time. All Dana could feel was a pair of perfectly formed lips pressed against her own.

Eddie knocked on Dana's door, stealing Dana from her daydream. "Hey D, it's time to go." Dana glanced at the boy in the doorway. His smile was subtle and innocent. "Do you need me to help grab your bag?" Dana attempted to readjust herself, but winced in pain. She nodded in response. Eddie rushed to Dana's side. "Guess you need help bringing you downstairs too." Eddie grinned, attempting to make light of the situation, but it wasn't helping. He handed Dana her crutches. It had been six weeks now since Dana's accident. Her arm had healed, but not her leg. She had upgraded from a wheelchair to crutches to get around. The doctors reassured her that her leg should be fully healed in no longer than two weeks. She had an appointment later that week to see if she could remove the cast. Although Dana had recovered immensely from the accident, the cast on her leg was causing her discomfort between the size and the fact that it forced her leg to remain in one place at all times.

Eddie assisted Dana downstairs and into the car. The used car that he had bought just a few weeks prior wasn't as nice as Dana's car, but Dana's car had been wrecked and was still in the shop for repairs. Both Dana and Eddie were happy to have any mode of transportation other than the bus. Jesse had been waiting by his car when Eddie and Dana pulled into the parking lot. He ran over to the passenger side of the car and grabbed Dana's bag before Dana had the chance to try. Jesse swung the bag over his shoulder, it colliding with the bag he already had on his back. He and Eddie each grabbed one of Dana's hands and lifted her from the seat.

"Thanks guys, but I can stand up on my own." Dana spoke barely above a whisper. Eddie glared at Jesse every moment they made eye contact. Eddie and Grace had been officially together now for a month and a half, but Eddie still loathed Jesse. He still saw the guy that stole her away the first time. It didn't matter how many times Jesse insisted that he was trying to change. Dana made her way around the car and led the trio through the entrance to the school. Dana saw Marissa, but before she could force a smile, Marissa's eyes shot towards the floor and she disappeared around the nearest corner.

Jesse saw the exchange between Dana and Marissa. "If it helps, Thomas," Jesse had, for reasons only known by him, started calling Dana by her last name. "She doesn't blame you. If anything, she's more upset with herself than anything." Dana didn't say anything. She didn't have much to say anymore.

"What even happened between you two?" Eddie asked. Ever since Dana's accident, Marissa and Dana hadn't been speaking.

Dana shrugged, "I told her not to make me choose... So she didn't." Eddie didn't understand what Dana meant but he didn't bother asking. He could see the pain Dana was in, and wasn't going to force her to talk if she didn't want to. Dana didn't want to choose Marissa. Obviously, Dana's first and only choice would always be Katie. But Dana initially had a thought that if she had chosen Marissa, then Katie's mom would've let Katie stay. Dana didn't want to ever feel like she was using Marissa, but she knew it would've been easier if there was a way to convince Pam to let Katie stay.