Juno's took long blinks as she walked back to the night house. Floren steadied Juno as she drifted into Floren's path. Juno forced her eyes open and apologized in a soft voice. Two days without sleep. All she could think about was closing her eyes and exiting reality.
"You'll be in your bed soon enough," Floren said, steering Juno to a safer path.
"Do you ever forget?" Juno asked. The birthing was long and a failure. The little babe, a girl, did not breathe when she finally appeared. Floren was methodical about it. Juno felt as if a boulder had been laid on her chest.
"Nay." Floren sighed. "It is part of life. A curse on top of our curse." She took Juno's hand in hers and raised it to her lips, placing a light kiss on the back of it. It was a rare thing and did more to wake Juno than the walking. "The memory will be shadowed in time. The first scream of a lively born tends to weaken the image."
"You did not take the man's coin. Will we not be short when the tithe is due?"
"There are times when coin is paramount. A families misery is not one of them. Think on it. Is it a big leap for people who look down on us to assume we had a hand in the babe's death? It is best if we share the misery, and leave failure in the Goddess' hands."
"But the Brethren's tithe will be claimed none the same."
"I will show you something when we return, a secret all mother's share." Floren smiled. "It is time you knew more of running a nighthouse." Juno had begun to notice Floren treating her more like an equal. To be sure, Floren's words were still to be followed, but they had mellowed in tone when spoken to Juno. They sounded more like requests, not orders. Now Floren was sharing secrets with her.
"Why do you share this with me?" Juno asked. Something about Floren's change frightened her. Floren stopped walking and turned Juno toward her, grasping Juno's hands in hers.
"That babe never saw a sunrise. Like her, none of us know how many we will see. We only know we won't see all of them." Floren forced a smile, one that reminded Juno of her true mother. "It is my duty to make sure someone who will see many more sunrises then me, be ready to continue the house. I have chosen you."
"But, there are those that are older and wiser?"
"Aye, older," Floren said, nodding her head. "And wiser in some things. Running a night house is more than those things alone. You must mix wisdom with compassion, and stir in a heap of good guessing." Floren lifted a hand and tapped Juno's forehead with her finger. "No one is better at the guessing then you are. I give you hints, and you infer fact." She smiled again. "You're not always right, but you never wallow in indecision."
"I'm not ready," Juno said, worried that Floren meant she should take over soon. Floren laughed.
"Nor am I ready to stop counting sunrises. That is why we start now. I have delayed the decision for too long, and you have much to learn." Floren turned back to the path, pulling Juno along. "That poor babe has reminded me that all things must end. It is because of her that I decide now. You are a good choice. Mayhap, the babe's passing isn't for nothing."
"It is an awful symbol for the Goddess to send," Juno said.
"I doubt the Goddess sees us one at a time," Floren whispered. Juno's eyes widened. "Don't be so surprised. I have put much thought into it. I suspect you have as well."
Juno nodded. "Too much sadness. She leaves much to chance."
"And in the arms of the unworthy," Floren added below a whisper. Juno knew she meant the King and Brethren. "But that kind of talk stays in our heads," Floren said, her voice returning to normal. Juno smiled as she visually agreed. Secrets indeed. Floren had let her inside as a confidant, sharing some of her illicit thoughts. Things had changed.
