"but...but my friends call me Roe"

I Honestly Think I Love Him

I sit on Pea's bed waiting for everyone to come home as I once again contemplate going to see Fp. I have been thinking about it for a week now and for some reason haven't convinced myself to do it yet, but I know I should. I think for a couple more minutes and finally make up my mind, making a call in the process.

"Hey Jug." I speak into the phone as he answers my call.

"Hey Roe, whats up?"

"I just wanted to know if you were home."

"No, I am with Pea and Fangs getting some things together at the Wyrm, probably won't be home for a long while."

"Oh okay, thanks Juggie."

"Yeah Roe, your welcome, the front door is unlocked, you can just walk in, he will be in his room, has been locked up in there since tuesday. I'll talk to you later Roe." he says through the phone as I get up and walk out towards Fp's trailer. He has been locked in his room since Tuesday, i think, that was four days ago. I walk right in and head straight to his bedroom door. I stand right in front of the door and knock gently on the old beat up wooden surface.

"Jughead leave me alone i am fine." I hear him call out, his voice rough, bringing chills to my body.

"I cant" I say as his steps get louder, as he gets closer, "Because i'm not jughead."  I can hear him lean on the other side of the door, as i place my forehead on this side. "Please FP open the door." I mutter, my voice soft and full of desperation. He opens the door slowly, his red eyes looking down at me, his beard grown out, his hair unbrushed, his clothes I could tell were not clean. He looks awful. I notice his room is a mess. Bottles everywhere, clothes and trash. I hold back tears as I guide him to the bathroom, draw a bath and have him sit in the bathtub, hoping the warm bath will help bring him closer to sobriety so that i can talk to him. I don't speak as he sits there and bathes, I simply sit on the floor next to the tub. He closes his eyes for a bit and his breathing gets slow and shallow.

"Why did you leave me?" He asks after several minutes of silence. I look at him confused, i figured he would have known that jughead told me to leave, but he doesn't.

"I left you because Juggie asked me to stay away from you." I simply answer, "You thought I left you?" i ask, unsure as to what he believed had happened.

"He what?" He asks as his eyes open wider and it is clear that Jughead had obviously told him some other story of me.

"I never wanted to" I explain, "and then i found out i was pregnant and i came to tell you but Jug, wouldn't let me even see you." I go on.

"You were pregnant?" he asks, worry on his face.

"I lost the baby, i fell and had a miscarriage." I tear up as he holds my hand. He then gets out of the tub and drys himself off, taking the fresh clean clothes I had pulled out for him after drawing the bath, on. I walk out to his room cleaning up a bit as he gets dressed. Once done he walks out and heads right towards me holding me close. At the meer contact between us, I let the tears go and cry all over again. I had thought i was done crying. "I left my parents house, after finding out my mom knew that my father used to rape me." I say.  He looks down at me in shock at the words i have just said. He holds me even closer. All the feelings I had been trying to forget coming back to me all at once.

"I'll kill him," he mutters, referring to my father.

"it's not worth it."

"Where have you been staying?" he asks me as he creates a little space between us as he makes eye contact with me.

"At Pea's, he was there when I found out and he took me to his place, i have been staying there."

"Stay with me."

"What?" I ask, knowing that I hadn't planned on the conversation getting to this point, I honestly thought he wouldn't even let me in.

"Move in with me, I need you, I love you." he says, those three words canceling out any bad thing that had ever happened between us.

"Okay." I say as he brings his head down to mine and kisses me. The taste of alcohol still reminiscent on his lips. I walk back over to Sweets trailer to find him in the living room with Jughead, Fangs and the girls.

"I am guessing you are just picking up your things." Sweet Pea says as I sit down on the couch next to the twins.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Pea."

"Quit saying you're sorry, we are good."

"Yeah he's a sucker for romance, remember." Fangs says out making us all laugh as Pea glares at him.

"Oh, Pea you are never living that one down." Jughead jokes as he scarfs down a handful of the girls popcorn.

"You're leaving?" Bonnie asks as she looks over at me, hurt in her eyes.

"I walk over to her and plop down next to her on the floor as I hold her tightly.

"I am staying at Fp's, I will only be a couple trailers away and if you ever need me, just text me. I will always be here for you whenever that is. I promise." I say as I hug her and she hugs back tightly. The girls help me pack up my things before I drive Stan over to Fp's trailer, Jughead with me. We walk in and I smile at the fact that he cleaned the whole trailer while I was gone. I honestly think I love him.