Game On: Tick Tock

Chapter 4

The final day before the Quarter Quell arrives like an earthquake. I can't allow myself to be happy now, and my pregnancy leaves me running to the bathroom all morning, puking. Things couldn't be worse. Luckily, I don't have to be anywhere until the afternoon.

Beetee's been visiting me every night so we can still sleep together. I wouldn't be able to sleep without him. Today, he waits for me outside the bathroom when I'm done being sick.

"Hey, Wires. You okay?"

I glare at him. These mood swings are horrible to me.

"No. Of course you're not," he says, scratching his head with a guilty expression.

We walk back out to a couch in my room, trying to get at least one more moment of peace. But there's something I need to say that he might not want to hear.

I clear my throat. "I think you should..."

"Tell Caesar about the baby?" He doesn't sound too happy. "No."

"Why not?"

"Wiress. The Games have already taken away our future. Sure, we'll get sympathy because of our relationship. But no amount of sponsors could change that, and you know it. If one of us wins, we both lose."

I couldn't have said it any better myself. It's absolutely true.

"'kay," I agree grudgingly.

"Glad you understand. If we lived in any other scenario, I'd be shouting it to the world. I guess the world's never really been on our side."

Time, in all its cruelty, never slows down, and I'm soon getting ready for interviews. My dress is a bright shade of turquoise, with a strap that goes around my neck. It leaves my shoulders and back completely bare. I'm not sure how I feel about so much exposure. That is, until Beetee sees me. When nobody's looking, he slides his hand all the way down my back.

"Absolutely gorgeous," he whispers.

"You too." I wink at him. His blazer is turquoise to match my dress.

As the interviews begin, I can sense the arena is near, closer than ever. Every victor seems to feel the same way. They give subtle hints about how much the Capitol has taken from them. Despite our differences, we really have a common goal.

Once Brutus Gunner leaves the stage, Caesar announces, "Please welcome back, from District 3, Wiress Plummer Kurtz!"

I walk out with the best smile I can muster. They're cheering me on, for what? For being a serial killer? I say something along those lines as he talks to me, but he just smiles back like I've praised my prep team.

"What can we expect from you this time around," he asks, "now that you will have your husband by your side?"

I make direct contact with the camera. "A serious fight."

"You would do anything, then?"

"Anything," I echo.

Sometime later, Peeta finishes talking to Caesar. Apparently, I'm not the only pregnant tribute. Now is our cue. I look down to Gloss and Cashmere. She squeezes his hand, and I remember: they're brother and sister. Gloss takes the hand of Enobaria, who grins with her golden teeth. Our plan's working. We're creating a human chain. Twenty- four of us against the Capitol. Brutus nods to me and grabs my hand, continuing the chain. Beetee keeps it going after, and so on. It's rather sad how nice Brutus seems right now. We're all united in our hate for the Capitol. But it won't matter when the Games begin tomorrow. He could be the one that kills me, for all I know. I shift my gaze to the other side, where I get a good look at every other former victor. Every pair of eyes tells a story of courage and true sacrifice in the face of a cruel world. I hope that's what they see when they look at me. Not some loony woman who lost her mind.

There's Finnick Odair, who became one of the youngest victors in history when he was fourteen. There's the District 6 couple, who completely depend on morphine to erase their painful arena memories. There's Cecilia, who has three children that will never see her again. There's Chaff, who lost his hand in the Games. There's Peeta, who lost his leg. And Katniss. Our human mockingjay. The girl we need to save.
Beetee and I keep each other close all night. Even though we don't speak, we still communicate everything. I never want to fall asleep or else risk losing another moment with him.

"You're strong, Wires," he says in the morning.

"So are you."

"But I haven't been through as much as you have. Think about your brain injury, and what you're being forced to do with our child." He presses his lips on my cheek. "Keep Beta safe for as long as you can."

I fight back the sobs that threaten to come out of me. He hasn't called our baby by her name since the Quarter Quell announcement. Our baby, who won't ever get a chance at life.

Beetee takes me in his arms. "Hey, darling. I know. Don't be afraid to cry. I'm scared to death, too."

We don't say the fatal word: Goodbye. This is not goodbye. We'll meet each other in the arena, somehow. But I have to leave. My prep team will be expecting me to be in my room.

I can't take my eyes off of Beetee as I step away from him. This is way too hard.

"It has been such a pleasure to dress you," Dev says when he arrives with my arena uniform.

It turns out to be a black and white wetsuit. Oh dear. This arena's going to have loads of water. And I'm not too great at swimming.

"If you don't mind me saying," he adds, "may the odds be ever in your favor!"

He can say that as much as he wants, but it doesn't mean anything now. I thought I was out of danger when I became victor. Even that turned out to be a fluke. Once should've been more than enough.

The launch pad is stifling, so much more than it was last time. Sweat trickles down my face. I can barely breathe. Finally, I smell the fresh air of our arena. Then the countdown begins...

My platform is surrounded by salt water. The waves are pounding against me, and my nerves reach their climax. How am I going to get out of this? Then I see the beach. It's arranged in a circle. I can't help but think there's something unique about it. I mean, this is a Quarter Quell arena. My mission should be to decipher it.

With the sound of the gong, my life is no longer mine to control. I'm at the mercy of the arena.