The Silent Girl in the Street Fighting Ring

Chapter 22

The bright lights are what I wake to. I've been here since last night, and she was stabilized late last night. The chair is uncomfortable, I don't want her to be here, and I want her to wake up. I was told that she was in a coma. Some of the symptoms that might occur is memory loss, headaches, sadness, depression, confusion, and pain. Flat out fiery pain. Her arms are heavily bandaged. They couldn't even stitch them for three hours. They were bleeding too much for them to see anything that was happening around the gashes she had put into herself. I stand, placing my forehead to hers and crying. 

"Wake... Please wake up... I need you, Rogue... I need you so bad it hurts... Please don't leave me here alone... I need you..." 

The tears drip onto her closed eyelids, and I think I see them flutter. Then her golden eyes meet mine. She leans up just a little to make our lips meet, and I stand there in shock for merely a moment. Then I'm kissing back and nearly sobbing in relief that she's alive. She's alive. She's okay. She's not going to be dead. I have her.

**********

Waking up to him is a pleasant surprise, and I take advantage of the moment leaning up and brushing my lips on his. We're both crying by the end of the kiss, and his hand is on my face gently. "I can't lose you Rogue..." He whispers it like his life depends on the words that just left his mouth. I simply whimper in response to his desperation of care and love. It hurts to talk, and my mouth is dry. 

He drops his head to my chest, pressing his forehead to my collar bone. I try to wrap my arms around him, and only end up awkwardly slinging them over his back. It hurts to move them much, and they feel like they are bandaged in one position. One of the best things about the position is the fact I have his heat pressed against my body. I love the feeling of just having him there, having someone to love me when I am at my worst, and love me even though I am at my best. 

The nurse comes in with a glass of water, and hands it to me. I take a sip after nodding a thanks to her before she leaves. She smiles at us and then leaves the room, and I awkwardly rest my arms on Keenan's back. "I've got you..." My voice is raspy and merely a whisper comparing to what his was. 

"Don't leave me..." His voice cracks with a sob, and my heart breaks. Why did I do this to him? Why would I want to leave this boy? This man that has already endured so much pain in the past? Why would I want to hurt him like that?

We lay like that for a while, and then he sits up in his chair, holding my hand and running his thumb over the top. I sit up slowly, trying to be sure not to hurt myself while I try to sit up. I squeeze gently, and smile a little. Taking another sip of my water, he sits on the edge of my hospital bed. "Why'd you do it..?"

"I thought I was making a mistake and I had no other way to fix it.." 

"How would you be making a mistake? I want you just as much as I showed the other night, why would you ever consider that a mistake?"

I look down, knowing what will leave my lips will be something he never wanted to know and/or take from me. "Keenan you took my virginity..." 

His eyes widen, and I keep my head down as he thinks for a second, before a grin spreads over his sharp features. A grin that suits him, and in any other situation would scare me if I were seeing it without knowing how he is. "You really liked it, right?"

I nod a little, confused as to where this is going. "Then lets date? For real. No more just fucking around, no more just making out together as friends, lets be a thing."

My eyes widen. "I need time..."

"I expected you would say that, and I am not hurt. I want to make you okay. I just want you to be okay, and I'll make sure that you are. I will not leave you to defend yourself when you are alone. You will be safe whether you say yes or no, just keep that in mind. It is only an idea."

I nod, and he sits back in his seat. I know that what I said stung him a little, and I felt a little bad. But it wasn't bad enough to make me hate myself. I love him too much for that. It's something that I wanted, but I didn't know for sure if I was ready for a relationship with anyone. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me, that was very clear. I didn't want to lose him, and if I said no I wouldn't have a chance. But if I say yes, I'm going... I won't know what to do with myself if I lose him...