too much

two falling sparks, one willing fool

// you lined me up //

// across the room //

// two falling sparks, one willing fool //

// and i, i always knew //

// that i would love you from afar //

// it shouldn't come as a surprise //

// what i'm feeling, what i'm feeling now //

// it shouldn't come as a surprise //

// she's got darling (dazzling) eyes //

from afar - vance joy

::

It's not what Camila wants.

She knows she's been in love with Lauren since she felt the weight of the other woman pressed up against her side, breath tickling the side of her neck as Lauren snored lightly, sand prickling and itching her legs and arms, body strained and stiff from holding the both of them sitting upright in the sand the night they met.

That's the starting point. There are other times where Camila feels herself falling deeper—when Lauren hugs her first thing in the morning when she sleeps over, Lauren kissing her cheek as she leaves for work, Lauren bringing her lunch when she's hasn't got her paycheck yet.

And then there's Lauren's smile, crinkling her eyes and her bunny teeth peaking out from underneath her lips. Her laugh—head thrown back and wide, bubbling over her lips like badly shaken champagne. And her eyes—god, don't get started on her eyes.

They're so open and responsive, exposing Lauren in a way that may seem guarded but when Camila looks harder, she'll see the feelings swimming in Lauren's eyes.

So when she doesn't object when Lauren says she's happy with the way things are, it's because she sees the way Lauren sags against the couch, relief flooding her bones, making her pliant enough for gravity to wear her down—hears the sigh that comes deep from herself and eyes smiling softly up at her.

She hears the hesitance and the worry evaporate from that one sigh—feels the way Lauren is utterly relieved.

It's sad.

But she's in love with Lauren and maybe hurting is part of that.

::

She's stuck in another song. Camila has a vibe down, a song humming at the back of her head, begging to be made. Camila hears Dinah running up and down the halls, preparing for another date with Normani, when she feels her headphones yanked from the top of her head.

"What the—"

"Have you seen my VS lingerie?" Dinah asks, towel flapping behind her as she rummages through Camila's room.

"Wait, what—"

"Have," the blonde interrupts, eyes-crazed looking and panicked at the same time. ", you seen my VS lingerie?"

"Lacy, pushes up your tits real nice?" Lauren's voice drifts from somewhere deep in the apartment, making Dinah race outside to Camila's door screaming a yeah, that one that's probably heard by everyone three floors both up and down. "In the dryer, I was just about to put them in your room!"

"Thanks, Lauser!" Dinah then looks at Camila, smirking. "Girl even does our laundry, you should keep her around," Dinah winks, already causing another hurricane inside their apartment as she races to get ready.