The Tapes; A 13 Reasons Why Fanfiction

Tape 2, Side A

Y/n's POV

You've heard of the butterfly effect, right? That if a butterfly flaps its wings at just the right time in just the right place it can cause a hurricane thousands of miles away. It's chaos theory, but, see, chaos theory isn't exactly about chaos. It's about how a tiny change in a big system can affect everything. Chaos theory. Sounds dramatic, but it's not. Ask a mathematician. Or better yet, ask someone who's been in a hurricane.

Maybe you think I'm being silly. I'm some stupid girl who gets all worked up over a little thing, but little things matter. For instance, you never told me when you started dating Jessica, but I remember just how it ended. With your list. Alex, we haven't talked since you two got together, and then it seemed like maybe you might not be together anymore.

* I was sitting in my English class writing an essay, my pencil scribbling away at the paper in front of me. I was so close to being finished, and once I was done, I could leave the class. As I was writing, someone walked by me and placed a paper on my desk, which stopped me from writing. I set down my pencil and unfolded the piece of paper to reveal a Hot or Not list. My eyes scanned the list to see if I recognized any of the names, and I did. Under the category Best Ass was Hannah Baker, and under the category Worst Ass was Jessica Davis. I continued going down the list, but I stopped as I came across a way too familiar name. My own. Y/n L/n was listed under Best Legs, which you think would be a compliment, but for some reason, it made me feel self-conscious and a bit insecure.

I glanced around the classroom and saw that a few boys were staring at me, and to make matters worse, today I had decided to wear some jean shorts. Obviously my legs were toned from all of my years of playing volleyball. But I never thought anyone actually noticed, and now that I knew that they had, my nerves were through the roof. I pushed the list off to the side and continued writing my essay, and as soon as I was done, I rushed out of the classroom, the list clutched tightly in my hand. I was so focused on getting to the nearest trashcan that I bumped into a tall figure.

"Y/n, hey," Zach greeted. "What's up?" 

"I'm not in the mood to talk, Zach. Excuse me," I murmur and try to get around him. 

Zach frowned and stepped in front of me. "Hey. What's wrong?" I shoved the list into his hands as tears brimmed my eyes. Zach unfurled the piece of paper, and when he saw what it was, his face dropped. "Whoa whoa whoa. I didn't know they were gonna put your name on here. If I had I would've stopped them."

"Yeah. Sure. But that's not the point. You guys are all assholes. And that list is disgusting. It shouldn't exist in the first place," I spit at him before pushing my way past him. *

Is that why you did it, Alex? Maybe you say it's nothing, Alex. It's just words. Maybe, Alex, you were just being a dick. Alex, maybe you think I'm being silly, like I get my titties in a twist over the tiniest things, but you didn't walk that hall. You didn't feel those eyes on you. You've never heard those whispers.

At first I thought: 'What a stupid list'. Jessica is so much prettier than me. I didn't think of the chaos it would cause, but it was just a joke. Right, Alex? You think I'm taking it all way too seriously, but here's the thing: you've never been a girl. You want evidence, Alex? You want storm clouds and thunder? Let's go to E3 on your maps, everyone. The Blue Spot liquor store where butterfly met hurricane. The Blue Spot was a block and a half away from my first house here, and I went there whenever I desperately needed chocolate, which was, like, most days of the week.

I was hanging out with the boys in the alley next to the Blue Spot liquor store after school. Bryce had just gone in to buy some more alcohol, leaving Monty, Zach, Justin, Alex, and I outside to chat. I was sitting on the hood of Monty's jeep, and Zach was situated next to me. He had one arm wrapped around my waist, and in his other hand he was holding a can of beer.

"Just take one drink," Monty begged me. "A single sip won't hurt you." 

"Yeah, but my parents would if they found out I'd been drinking, especially on a school night," I counter. 

"You drink at Bryce's parties, and every single other party you attend," Justin pointed out. 

"Barely. And that's because the parties are usually on the weekends, and my parents both work the night shift, so they won't be there when I get in late," I explain.

"Come on babe," Zach pleaded and squeezed my side. "Just take one sip for me."

"Look, Y/n," Alex directed. "He's giving you the puppy dog eyes. You're a dick if you so no to that." I glanced over at my boyfriend, who was indeed giving me puppy dog eyes, his lips frowning slightly.

"Dammit," I curse. "You know I hate when you do that, Zach. You make me feel bad if I say no."

"I know," Zach confirmed. "So is that a yes to a drink?"

"I guess," I breathe out and take the can from his hands. "But just one sip. I'm serious." I put the can up to my lips, swallowing a little of the contents inside. The beer tasted bitter, and I cringed as it went down my throat. Beer wasn't really my thing. I was more of a fruity drink with hard liquor kind of girl.

"You missed it. Y/n just had a drink," Monty told Bryce when he rejoined us. 

"Oh come on," Bryce groaned. "You had to do it while I was gone?" 

"Sorry," I apologize. "You should've been here." Just then, Clay walked out of the store holding a bottle of liquor. It was a little odd, seeing as he didn't seem like a person who drank, but then I realized Bryce must've bought it for him.

"There he is! Jensen!" Justin shouted and waved him over. "Come over here and have a drink with us." 

"I uh, I actually have to get home for dinner," Clay claimed.

"Nonsense. You came all the way to Blue Spot, and you let Brycey buy you a beer. The least you can do is drink with us," Justin spoke.

"Alex, you're up. You versus Clay in a drinking competition. Time trial. 40 ounces," Bryce stated and handed Alex a bottle. My eyes drifted across the street as Bryce explained the rules to Clay, and I caught sight of a red car pull to the curb, Tony in the driver's seat. "Ready? Three. Two. One. Go!"

I looked away for five seconds at the most, and when I turned back to watch the competition, Clay's bottle was already more than halfway gone. Surprisingly, he beat Alex, and by a longshot too. I thought he would've vomited after drinking that so fast, but he didn't. Instead, he threw his empty bottle in the trash can and just walked away. At that moment, I knew for sure that Clay was different than the rest of us. And not a good different either. The kind of different that means trouble.

"All right, well, as much fun as watching that was, I've gotta get home," I say and hop off the hood of the jeep.

"What? But we were all gonna go to Bryce's and hang out," Monty reminded me.

"Dude, I've got a huge math test tomorrow that I need to study for. I don't have time for that. So are you gonna drive me home? Or are you gonna be an ass and make me walk all the way back to my house?" I question.

"Have you seen this neighborhood? It's dangerous out here. Of course I'll take you home," Monty responded. "I'll drop you off and then take the rest of us to Bryce's house."

The butterfly effect. It started with Justin, then on to you, Alex, and the rest of you. Maybe these tapes will start a new butterfly effect. Who knows? Everything affects everything.