Hydrangea | Pokémon One-shot

Hydrangea

A smile dances on his lips, but his eyes overflow with sadness. His eyes are still lying, just like it has always been since five years ago. I can't tell if his smile is a smirk or a sneer. Rei is an actor, after all, and all actors lie.

Today, however, instead of a leaf, he hands me a blue hydrangea. Crimson eyes glint as he takes my Pokéball-an olive green sphere with red petal patterns around the white button in its centre-and places it on a steel tile. I watch with bated breath, wondering what will happen next. I sniff the aromatic flower in my slender, digit-less hands, the flower reminding me of the pom-poms of the yellow Oricorio. The heavenly fragrance distracts me for a while.

I place the hydrangea down as he picks up the hammer beside him. The hammer is one of those props for his recent play so he's probably just rehearsing.

Cracks resound in the room as the hammer falls. My heart sinks. He's not rehearsing for anything, and he's not acting either.

There is a moment of tableau which remains quite static in my mind. The boy clenching his teeth, his black hair flying; his reflection in the mirror with veins popping out of his fist; his shadow, lit by the lamp, in the act of destroying my Friend Ball, shaking.

A split-second later, the hammer is flung out of his grip and it clangs when it hits the floor. Shards scatter themselves on the bed and some cover five stacks of bills. I do not ask about the money. That's the least of my concerns now. I just want to get off his bed, take my eyes off the overly cheerful orange bedsheets and run off without a cry. The least I could do is to give him my signature glare that makes him squirm.

"I'm sorry, but you have to go," Rei says. I think I understand. His smile is one that masks his fears and emotions.

I glance at the flower, then back at him. I see my quivering figure reflected in his blood red eyes, entangled in his web of lies, helpless, shrinking, and alone. My eyes fall on the blue hydrangea, the green stalk darker than the calyx on top of my head.

Do I mean nothing to you at all? Is a Friend Ball nothing more than a catching tool? Does that F-word mean nothing to your thick skull? I want to cry out loud, but numbness overwhelms me. I feel a hint of... happiness amongst my ambivalence towards the human. Yes, he is a human, and I am a Pokémon. Maybe that's why he fails to understand.

This happiness I feel is false. I shouldn't be happy but I am, and I suppose that I am lying to myself about being happy. I'm probably just hiding behind a small smile, brainwashing myself to be happy about this betrayal of trust.

"Tsareena," I mumble my name. What else can I say? I should've known when I received the very flower.

"I'm sorry." Rei stretches his hand to touch me and I retract my body. I whirl around and jump off the bed, only to land on the hard, cold floor. Maybe I deserve this fall, this punishment for backing away. He speaks again, his smile breaking, cracking, but his eyes seem to lie about his sincerity and his remorse. "I'm sorry."

Is that all you can say? I murmur a few words, but I know Rei won't understand what I'm saying. So I cry within.

I wish I can get another leaf from him so I can play another song with it, be it a melody of his favourite song, or a haunting lullaby. This is a little pastime of ours, something we do every day. He would simply listen as I send music to his ears. But he disposes of the leaf at the end of every day anyway. I should've known when I took the flower from him, that this would happen, because it calls for a different scenario.

I don't want to go after we've been to contests and I've been on set with Rei for five years. Maybe our bond isn't strong enough, so even a drop of tear would break it. But none of us cried. Or is it the silence that lingers in the air between us, that forgotten promise of understanding and being there for each other, that forces us apart? I am not sure. I can't be sure anymore.