Imperfect

The Impermanence of Goodbye

            The scene that greeted Master Clee Rhara was one she knew would leave an indelible mark on her heart. There stood her former padawan holding another's former padawan – a former padawan who had abandoned the Order a year ago – in a comforting embrace. The master remembered how Obi-Wan looked the last time she saw him. He was a handsome, confident young man with gorgeous eyes and an impish grin, but the young man before her now seemed antithetical to the young man of her memory. To say Obi-Wan looked grief stricken was to say that an ocean looks wet. To Clee's mind, he looked one breath away from hysteria in his distress. His entire body was quaking, his breath coming in stuttered and strained sobbing gasps, and he clutched onto Garen's broad back and shoulders like a man desperate to keep from being pulled into the void. And that was just the visual presence of Obi-Wan Kenobi. In the Force, Clee could feel the gaping, painful rend in his soul Bant's death had created. Emotional pain poured forth from the crumbling dam of his shields and she could sense her former padawan working diligently to help shore up his friend's mental walls. But Garen too was grieving, and the constant exertion of control on both his and Obi-Wan's emotions was exhausting him.

Clee pulled herself away from her observations and stepped closer to the two young men. Obi-Wan appeared unaware of her presence, but Garen's head lifted and glassy eyes turned to her approach. Without a word, Clee stepped to them, pulling them both into her embrace. Garen rested his forehead on hers as he felt Clee's subtle strength supplement his waning reserves. He pushed a wave of gratitude through their mostly dormant bond and was rewarded with a warm breath of understanding and affection. Garen then sensed her attention shift as she too attempted to bolster Obi-Wan's shields. The unexpected presence against his mind caused him to gasp suddenly and a fresh influx of panic flooded the small space.

"It's alright, Obi," Garen whispered. "It's Master Clee. It's alright."

Obi-Wan didn't answer, but both Garen and Clee could feel the terror felt in the Force receded a bit after Garen's soft statement. Several more quiet moments passed as the Master Jedi worked to calm the distraught young man, but her efforts proved only slightly better than those of her former student. The extent of his grief and the instability of his shields were just too much for even the Master. Clee was still considering what to do when part of her awareness noted the sound of the main door sliding open. Through it stepped a familiar presence and Clee sighed softly in relief.

"Mace, we could use a hand," she greeted with a rueful half smile. The Korun Councilor made his way over to the trio and, after a brief moment of assessment, turned to Clee and Garen.

"It's alright. I will take him."

Garen looked at the Councilor then, hope and doubt flashing briefly across his handsome features. Mace's own expression softened minutely and have gave the young knight a nod.

"Go," he spoke simply. With one last squeeze, Garen carefully extricated himself from Obi-Wan's frantic embrace and let himself be led into the single bedroom of his quarters. Once inside, Clee closed the door and turned to her former apprentice.

"Padawan?"

"Master," Garen whispered. "He's hurts so much and he can't control it. I... I tried to help him, but..."

"But you're hurting too."

"Yes," he answered though the admission was little more than a harsh exhalation of air.

"Oh, Starshot," Clee called softly as she drew Garen into her smaller frame. The young man collapsed onto her, giving himself to her care and comfort as he had when he had been her apprentice. The use of her nickname for him was the permission he had been waiting for and he let go. His master held him as he released his anger, his heartbreak, his guilt into the Force. Garen would mourn, but he would heal. He would control his feelings and not let them control him. He would do this because he was a Jedi and it's what Bant would have wanted and expected of him. He knew he would do this, but...