Savagery
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
18 July 2014
Tonight my soul echoed past recoil
As I felt myself fall away as soil
Lost among new connections worn thin
I scattered easily in that Wyo wind
The five day glass encased sobriety
Found fragility within my reckless anxiety
Enough to leave shards in a mind weak
I twitch trying to get back in sync
Heart, mind, soul-all now out of control
A body's addiction now on patrol
To capture what chills life's rejection
A crutch that offers new perceptions
The remedy powers a car into drive
Misery clouded within unintended sighs
Paranoid that their hours have expired
Heats the despair behind an addict's fire
Approach the door with minutes stripped bare
Rush but camouflage the flashes of despair
For shady hope lies bottled and cooled
A cankered soul begins to flow smooth
Rush to hear the pop of that cork
For the sound hold ease of course
How many times have I traveled this path?
In an attempt to avoid hate fueled self-wrath
The first glass splashes false calm
Smothers and snuffs out that song
That has vibrated within my faint pulse
Beats and tones that always repulse
Now my joy is easy to fabricate
My appetite to live I satiate
Kept safely from that downward spiral
Easing the pressure from depression's dial
Yet I know I can't fool sickly gravity
Forever marked by that certain depravity
Taken away before my innocence bloomed
My life has been tainted with the color of doom
But no matter how far my synapses sink
In the liquid coated in fake relief
The harsh whispers of my suppressed insanity
Always return to violate my being
Choked and battered in a routine fashion
My thoughts give my feelings daily lashings
To the point where my duration seems slight
I will fade away as day to night
But my predicament is laced with confusion
Not sure if an end is a solution
For I have always thought myself as a tragedy
But is it a side effect of my savagery
A mechanism that is bred to cope
Brought in at times that lacked hope
Yet it is an effort for me to simply exist
When every moment feels like an empty abyss
