The errant mirror world resident stayed facing Meta, though he kept glancing back at Dedede.
"F-fancy seeing you here," Dark sputtered, touching a hand to his injured leg.
"I live here, mirror-douche," Dedede shot back, hefting his hammer higher. Dark's slight smirk turned into a scowl, and he slipped a sliver hilt from his inner pocket. Metal flowed from it like water as he swung it in an arc, forming a silver broadsword with a gleaming sapphire set in its hilt.
"You are plainly outmatched, Dark. Slink off back into your wretched kingdom and accept your defeat," Meta snapped, pressing the point of Galaxia to his back. Dark arched away from the blade and spun on his heel, bringing his sword down on Meta's with a deafening clang. Meta slid backwards from the force, barely managing to halt the heavier blade. He shifted so that Dark's weapon was caught in one of Galaxia's spines, and wrenched at the blade. It slid through the spike and embedded itself into the floor just as a large hand grabbed the back of Dark's coat and flung him sideways. He slammed into a wall and tumbled gracelessly into a heap. His single eye looked up to his opponents, red with hatred.
"Fucking assholes!" he spat, slapping an open palm to the floor. A glimmering ridge of razor sharp glass raced towards Dedede as Dark lunged for his sword, conjuring a mirror clone to occupy Meta. The sound of shattering glass filled the hall as Dedede repelled the attack with a well-timed smash of his hammer. Meta darted forward, shattering the clone and deftly snatching the blade before Dark could reach it. The air around him seemed to momentarily warp, and suddenly the knight was standing beside the king, holding the pilfered blade beside him.
"It would do you well to surrender, lest you be sent back in a dust pan," Meta said, eyes alight with malice. Dark charged at him, kicking up glimmering clouds of crushed glass. He leapt back as Dedede's hammer came within inches of his head.
"Watch it you fucking oaf!" Dark snarled.
"Somethin' somethin' glass houses. I ain't clever enough to think of anythin'," Dedede admitted, staying at the ready. Dark glanced between the two, cold panic creeping up his spine. His plans couldn't fall apart this quickly! He used his foot to kick up a cloud of glass dust, ducking beneath the blind hammer swings that resulted and following the call of his cursed blade. A kick landed to his stomach with shocking force, throwing him back and causing him to fall into a wheezing heap. Meta stepped out of the swirling dust after him.
"You cannot blind somebody wearing a visor you absolute imbecile," he said, giving Dark a look utterly soaked in condescension.
"You broke my fucking ribs you maniac!" Dark choked, curling in on himself. Every breath was absolute agony. Usually fights he lost ended in him being shattered, so the pain was a novel experience.
"Ain't you a peach? Nova, my eyes..." Dedede groaned.
"Enjoy exfoliating your eyeballs, dickhead!" Dark shot back, still writhing on the floor. Meta strolled over and gave Dark's stomach a light jab with his foot, eliciting another agonized noise.
"Glass bones, perhaps?" he tittered. Dedede quickly stepped forward, positioning himself beside Meta. The man's sadistic tendencies were best left to the imagination.
"Let's toss him back now, let his cronies deal with him," he offered. Meta kept eye contact with his friend as he lifted his foot over the cowering man.
"I've already accumulated more than my fair share of bad luck. What's seven more years?" he asked.
"I don't want to sweep him up. I also don't wanna see your murder fantasies," Dedede added.
"The hell is wrong with you?" Dark groaned.
"It was only a jest," Meta said, feigning hurt. "I do suppose that I've had my fill of schadenfreude though. I will even retrieve the mirror frame so that you needn't walk."
"Sorry to say, but... you're stuck with me," Dark said, smirking. "With only my side complete, it's a one-way trip." The two Dreamlanders looked at each other for a long moment, before Meta turned and darted off down the corridor without a word.
"Meta?!" the king called out. There was a long stretch of silence, and he took stock of Dark's condition. The man smiled cruelly as they made eye contact.
"Hey, want to make a bet? What'll kill you first: heart disease, or me?" Dark cackled, though the laughter quickly morphed into painful coughing.
"Can it, ya little gremlin," Dedede responded. Meta reappeared at the end of the hallway before Dark could respond. The large golden frame of the Dimensional Mirror was clasped in his hands, dwarfing the small man. He darted towards Dark, and before a single word could be said he fiercely swung the frame downwards, smacking the metallic backing squarely over the man's head.
"Go through the damned mirror," Meta hissed, smacking him a second time.
"Ah!! What is your major malfunction?!" Dark shrieked, shielding his already injured chest.
"I will not have you lurking about with your insipid comments, constant inanities, and ridiculous hair! I will develop an aneurysm!" Meta barked, continuing his assault.
"My hair is effortlessly sophisticated you brute!"
"THAT is what you focus on?!" The frame was mercifully wrenched from Meta's grasp and held high above his reach by Dedede.
"Convinced now?" Dark huffed, lightly touching the goose egg forming on his head "If I could, I'd have fled this looney bin as soon as I'd had the chance!" Dedede sighed, and set the frame beside him.
"You know what this means, right?" he asked. Meta nodded.
"We have to kill him."
"No. We gotta get the mirror back together so we can boot him back to his own place." Dedede leaned against the frame, rubbing his face. "All while baby-sittin' him."
"Quit bending the frame, tons-of-fun!" Dark snapped. The other two gave him a brief look before returning to their conversation.
"You dealt with distributing the shards, so it stands to reason that you should be tasked with retrieving them," Meta said, calming slightly. Planning was something he took solace in.
"And you make sure he don't cause a ruckus," Dedede finished. Meta froze.
"On second thought, my diplomacy skills are more than adequate. Allow me to gather the shards."
"I don't really want this guy around the Dees."
"I am certain that they are capable. Bandanna Dee in particular can hold his own against most anyone."
"Well, he's your reflection, so..."
"I feel like I'm in a custody hearing!" Dark squawked. Meta gave his counterpart a long look, and turned back to the king.
"Very well. I hope you are aware that it is only through a deeply felt platonic bond that I am willing to subject myself to this," he groaned.
"Love ya too, buddy," Dedede responded.
