Rubbed Raw and Reeling
It was the last day of summer camp. Time to celebrate. It was a lame afternoon dance, but magic was in the air. The dorks were getting crunk and the rest of us were getting drunk. And for the first time since I got my braces off, I didn’t feel invisible.
There it was. The signal. I was hoping he’d do something more inspired like sniff his armpits but Matty had a habit of doing that. A lot. Attention to personal hygiene was just one of Matty’s many stellar attributes. He was perfection. Unlike me. I was a hot mess of nerves cuz Matty McKibben wanted me, a nobody, to meet him in the utility closet.
It wasn’t the inciting incident of some sappy teen special about how I got knocked up on the last day of summer camp. I knew better than to bareback. Our passionate bumping of uglies was a sign. This year would be my year. For once I wouldn’t be overlooked. Not with Matty at my…back door. Oh yeah, he let it slip. Not fun.
Change was in the air. I could smell it. There was change and pine-scented cleanser. My lady business was on fire, but somehow admitting my virgin status seemed like a buzzkill. I didn’t wanna ruin the moment.
With my v-card safely tucked away in his back pocket, I was sure this was the beginning of something. I couldn’t help myself. Matty had cracked my hard candy shell and I was oozing with sticky sweet love. So, I asked him if he wanted to go to sophomore orientation together. To which he responded “You’re the “sh*t”. So he wasn’t a poet. He was still Matty McKibben… and then he hit me with… “but nobody can know that I like you.” So….I was still Jenna Hamilton.
When I got home I was looking for a little TLC. My mother always knew when something was wrong…and promptly avoided the conversation. Instead of reading my the face-mail that was obvi in need of being addressed and comforting me- she handed my laundry and a letter. Turned out it was a letter that hurt even more than Matty’s blow-off.
“Jenna, as you are now, you could disappear and no one would notice. Below is a list of suggestions you should take into serious consideration. A Friend. Number one: stop being such a pussy.”
Whoever wrote the letter didn’t pull any punches. It was the truth and the truth hurt.
Sometimes being a teenager makes you want to die.
