(ME) Sierra and Lucci started off as friends in the middle of high school where they both attended Simeon Career Academy. Lucci was a well known football player and of course he had hoes. Ughh! I was also well known around the school very cool and laid back person and may have had a few hoes myself. LOL!!! I never found any of the boys in my school cute they were all just cool but a few of them like me and really I never let it get to that point because I always said I would never go with anyone in Simeon. Nothing ever went over a text or being on the phone just as friends. You know free nights and weekends on the phones was love LOL.
Somehow me and Lucci started talking and from there it went from texting and calling each other. Lucci was a big hoe and it never really crossed my mind he was that way because he was so ugly lol and I always use to tell my girls he's just a friend and we have some real good conversations. We talked about everything together and Lucci use to get mad whenever I didn't call or text him at night. Lucci was in a relationship and I knew about it so I never wanted anything from him but a good friendship as it was. Lucci and I were in two different gangs so we never really hung out not least someone from the school were having a party.
I was a little tomboy and niggas was never crossing my mind, I knew the game and all I hung around was niggas from being in the gang. I seen new bitches faces everyday and these bitches had boyfriends. I had my share of moments with a few bad bitches but it never got too deep cause I was on game already. When I tell you I had bitches and niggas on my ass. I was also in a long term relationship with this dude name Big Rell and he was my man fr but his bitch ass changed and also became part of the gang but where he was from they were my OPPS (The other side). Lucci never knew I was in a relationship I guess because of the way I acted and I was pretty much hardbody when it came to niggas. Me and Big Rell broke up after 2 years being in a relationship cause he changed up on me and started doing dumb shit so from that moment I became cold hearted with EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING. I guess Lucci and his girl broke up too because he was doing single shit and I peeped game.
Fast forward:
Lucci and I started talking but I told him he has to show me he's serious about being in a relationship after seeing the hoes he had left to right. I still had my hoes on the side because I was never a lame and I knew he wouldn't drop his hoes for me. Dressing girly was never my thing but when I got with Lucci it's like everything changed. When I say I was really happy and falling for him because he made me feel like I was that bitch (which I was). But sometimes I'll think to myself like "This can't be real, this is too perfect". Show enough something comes up and it's Lucci hoes.
We were together for 6 years and 4 years he had been cheating on me with different hoes and I knew nothing about it because he always made me feel like I was the only one on top. Yeah what's females favorite line "niggas ain't shit" exactly they ass ain't shit. I never thought Lucci would do me like this but deep down in my heart I just felt something wasn't right and every female knows that feeling I'm talking about. I'm done repeating myself cause i feel like i do it too much. We had gotten our own place together and yeah I stuck around hoping things would change for the better and everything was actually going good for awhile. Couple weeks go by and I finds out Lucci got someone pregnant , my house was a living hell everyday because I couldn't believe this bullshit after we done moved in together this bitch got someone pregnant and thinking he changed. Lucci didn't know I was pregnant and neither did I until one day I went to the hospital just to get a check up because I wasn't feeling well and I knew something was wrong. Worrying and stressing about what's going on I end up having a miscarriage. When you have an emotional breakdown and your Love lays with you and holds you and tells you everything is going to be okay and you BELIEVE them. I stayed because I seen something so different in him and he has always been so supportive with everything.
A man will be a man but damn why my man? Why my man couldn't talk to me if he felt a certain way? How can we fix this? Every time we would have our arguments all I could think of is the 4 years he cheated on me. The bitch knew about me and still put up with that nigga. I tried forgiving and forgetting but it seems to never leave my mind. Lucci was someone I deeply loved and he was the love of my life , at least that's what I thought. Sometimes you just have to accept certain things will never go back to how they use to be and I'm learning that day by day as he teaches me not to trust his lying ass. Who has time to come up with creative ass lies and deleting shit EVERYDAY? I've been faithful in all 3 of my past relationships and never once have I ever thought about cheating because it doesn't cross that line but fuck it I should just start cheating. Loving someone even though sometimes they make you absolutely insane. Loving someone is not easy, sometimes it's extremely hard but it's amazing and comforting and one of the BEST things you'll ever experience. I use to just sit and tell Lucci "I don't want to start over anymore" but I see sometimes starting over is actually a good thing. Understand that you CAN'T change a nigga. If he cares for you he will change his bad ways for you but you personally cannot change him. He has to want that change.
When you look back, what's going to fuck you up the most is realizing that after all the bullshit you put me through, the heartbreak, the tears, the anger, etc I never changed. I loved you, good & bad, unconditionally. My heart never changed & continued to love. Self care means not letting people stress you or put you through unnecessary hurt and pain. Love yourself enough to not tolerate it. Once you let that hurt go your face will clear up, you'll get healthier and your bank account will look beautiful. Learning to be patient because eventually everything's gonna come together. When you realize you deserve the best, you get disgusted remembering the shit you once settled for. Sometimes you gotta leave a MF right where they had you fucked up at.
Rule number 1 to be a boss ass bitch, Never let a clown nigga try to play you!!!
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
