Confronting You || Norenmin FF

18

It was probably around 1am when the five of us arrived back in the dorm.  Donghyuck and Mark went to their dorm whilst the rest of us flooded into the Dream dorm. Jisung and Chenle immediately went into their room and got ready for bed, having already showered at the company since they finished a little earlier than the rest of us. Jaemin rushed to the bathroom before either myself or Jeno had the change to, leaving Jeno and I alone in the living room.

It was awkward. It's never been this awkward before. The silence was thick, as was the tension building between the two of us. So I left.

Without a second thought I got up and went into our shared room to lie down, waiting for Jaemin to finish up. I knew Jeno would go in right after Jaemin so I didn't see the point in standing aimlessly waiting for the both of them to finish. Waiting would have also meant staying in a room with Jeno, on my own, and I don't think I'd be able to do that for longer than three minutes before either breaking down or screaming. 

Being on my own was so peaceful. Despite the rubbish grey coloured weather outside and the darkened room, I was at peace.  I have been so antsy lately, everything throwing me off focus and balance. The smallest thing makes me flinch and tear up. I have been an emotional wreck since I discovered I had feelings for the two
and it just got worse when they started dating. Mark Hyung keeps asking me if I am alright, sensing that something is not quite right with me but I always tell him I am just tired, which isn't a lie, I am tired, but I am also so much more than just tired. 

Sighing, I rolled over and dug my hand under my many pillows in search of my diary. Finding it with ease, I perched it gently onto my lap before stretching towards the desk which sat in the corner of the cramped room. Three beds, three bean bags, two wardrobes, a chest of drawers and a desk is a lot for the little room that  myself and two others live in. Grabbing a pen (Jenos pen) I pushed myself back into my laying position, happily sighing in relaxation. Spreading open the diary I quickly flicked through it reaching the first blank page. Clicking the pen I got ready to write. 

You know what. I am so happy that you don't do anything whilst I am in our shared room. Sure you might kiss good night every now and then but you never do anything else. I think that if you started cuddling or making out in front of me I would officially break. I don't know what I would do. Would I cry? Scream? Run out? Or would I do something foolish such as get up, push you away and kiss him myself? Pull his hair in desperation in hopes of being kissed back, only to get pushed away and cursed at. I hope I never go for the foolish option. God I love you so m

"Renjun Hyung?"

I snapped my diary closed as I heard the familiar sound of Jenos voice. I directed my sight vertically after my eyes met with his. His wet black hair fell right at the centre of his eyes giving him a glaring like stare leaving me breathless and intimidated. He also only wore lose tracksuit bottoms which didn't help the situation at all.

"I have finished in the bathroom, you can go in now." Nodding, I quickly stood ready to run out of the door, only to be stopped by Jaemin coming in and blocking the door way, gently pushing Jeno to the side. Jaemin luckily was fully clothed, allowing some of my sanity to come flying back into my body.

"Actually." He spoke, darting his eyes towards Jeno who gulped and nodded.  I began to shake in slight anxiety watching them have a silent conversation. Jaemins attention then transfered back to me. "Can we talk? The three of us?"

My breath hitched my throat making it hard for me to speak, eyes glued to the floor once again. There goes all of my new found sanity. It's gone and I am not sure it will be coming back any time soon. What could they possibly want? They couldn't possibly know? Maybe they are just worried like Mark. Yeah maybe.