where have you gone

entry six reply

september 23 || 3:57 AM

i can't sleep. again.

i keep re-watching our relationship over and over again in my head but it all just ends so fast. no matter how hard i try it just stops short of what i know was the end.

im missing something and im trying really hard to find it.

ive been a major asshole lately. not a shocker but i noticed the second you reappeared in my life i felt better, much better.

but everyone knows life sucks and the next day you disappeared.

just in case you can't remember and no one has told you, your dad shot you.

it sounds really messed up to say that but it's true.

your mom told authorities it technically missed her and it wasn't intended to hit you. but it still did. and it still sucks.

nobody really knows where your mom went, but your dad is in jail. that's definitely for the better.

i know it's none of my business but you should tell someone he is an abuser. it keeps him out of your life forever. i think that's what you want?

anyway, this week at school has been disastrous. i mean what week at school isn't, but this has been a thousand times worse.

if you actually care to hear this story, the worst day was two days ago in english.

i know you're in the smart class but im in the regular one. and of course mr.donavon had us write about our true love. it was required to be about a real person and not a celebrity either.

i turned it in and he made me read it out loud in front of the whole class. not only was it totally embarrassing, but it sounded like something a ten year old girl would write about her first crush.

it sucked and now people think it's their right to make fun of me for it. i don't really care, they're only making themselves look stupid.

but my true love actually means something to me, unlike other fuckheads in our school.

i don't know what to do and all ive been is a grouchy bum for these days.

i visited you once, and sweet talked the doctor to let me in for three minutes. it was time well spent even if you can't remember it.

i miss you camryn.

-zayn