Go Your Own Way

Goodbye, Baby

~ Back in the hospital; not too long after the twins were born ~

"Lindsey?" said Stevie- holding baby Susan, who was wide awake; staring up at her mother with her big and beautiful blue eyes.

"Yes, Stevie?" Lindsey sighs, then smiles down, as he's holding baby Sara, in his arms.

"How are we going to do this?" Stevie asked him, with tears in her eyes.

"Stevie, I.. I don't know.." Lindsey lifts his head up, to make eye contact with Stevie. "What do you mean, 'how are we going to do this'? How are we going to do 'what'?" he questions.

"Don't get that tone with me! Lindsey, I.."

"I don't," Lindsey said through clenched teeth, as he's trying his hardest to not raise his voice, since he's holding Sara in his arms.

"I don't have a tone, Stevie," said Lindsey in a much calmer tone of voice.

Stevie wipes a tear from her face, then says, "I don't know if I can live with you..." Stevie's heart broke as she spoke those words.

"I already knew that. You've made that statement abundantly clear. Why are you repeating this to me? we already made the decision," Lindsay's voice trailed off, as he too, is having a difficult time with speaking.

"The decision that– you're going to live with your parents in Phoenix– and I'll stay here in California?" Lindsey tells her.

He sighs, as he then continues, "and I was going to make the commute to Phoenix... to pick up the girls, but.. I already kinda bought a condo that's only five miles from your parents' house– for the weeks that I-I had them," Lindsey adds, as he feels a lump building up in his throat.

"What do you mean that you 'already kinda bought a condo'?" Stevie asked, with her eyes narrowed on him. "In Phoenix?" her voice rises slightly.

Lindsey ignores Stevie, as he continues, "when they're old enough to stay with me, of course... I-I know that they're more dependent on you right now, and I understand that I can only have them for a couple of hours, a-and–" Lindsey smiles, as he gazed down at his beautiful baby girl.

"Lindsey! stop!" exclaimed Stevie in a calm, yet stern tone.

"I don't think that'll work.." she sighs.

"What? why?" Lindsey felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest, and trampled on by an entire herd of elephants.

"I don't think I can live... if I had... to see you every week.." Stevie wipes a tear from the corner of her eyes.

"I couldn't live to say goodbye to you every week, to um... to watch you go," Stevie added.

"What do you mean?" Lindsey asked with a perplexed expression on his face.

"Lindsey, I... I-I don't think I can live to see you every week... to see you pick up the girls, and then, when you'd-you'd drop them off. It-it would be.. I-I can't," Stevie said in barely above a whisper, as she's now softly sobbing.