Everlasting

1820

Chester, England 1820

It was raining hard and Julie finds it cruel and pitiful. Even the heaven is sharing our sorrow, Julie thought and turned away from the rain stained window. She went to her bed to scratch Muffin’s and Cupcake’s chin before a maid knocked on her door to do her hair. She gave a small curtsy and Julie went to the vanity table.

“I’m so sorry my Lady.” The maid whispered as she fixed her golden hair into a bun. Once done, she went downstairs to see her brother came through the door. Michael was wearing black, like Julie and his eyes were swollen, indicating that he had been crying all his way from Cambridge.

“Michael.” Julie called and he turned his head up and went to help his sister down the rest of the step. Once Julie reached the bottom, she jumped up to reach Michael’s neck and cried some more. Michael easily carried his sister’s weight as he let her sorrows out.

“Its not fair, Michael.” Julie sniffed onto his neck, “Mama can’t just leave us like this.”

“I know. It was just her time.” Michael patted her back and both heard a small cry upstairs. Julie turned her head up to the stairs and glared at the offending sound.

“It’s his entire fault. If he hasn’t been so big, mama wouldn’t have to die.” The bitterness just came out of her lips but she didn’t care. She blamed her new brother for the death of her mother.

“Ssshh. Don’t say that. Mama wouldn’t want that.” Julie turned her swollen blue eyes at her brother equally swollen blues as said. “Why? It’s not like she is here now to correct me?!”

“Julian!” Both of the Dunning children turned to the angry voice of their father, descending down the steps. Jonathan went to Julie and the gripped on her arms was hard from the word her said.

“Don’t you ever bad mouth your mother! If we know this would have happened, then everybody in the world would prevent anything bad happened to them. That’s not how life is.” Julie never felt fear before but seeing her father’s tired, sad and angry blue eyes had brought real fear down her spine. She started to cry again and Michael try to pry their father to let go of her.

“Father, please calm down. You’re hurting her.” Jonathan snapped out of his trance and saw his daughter tear stained face and pulled into a deep hug.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Julie.” Jonathan said it like a mantra and Julie was the one that became the comforter.

“I’m sorry too, papa.” Julie murmured.

The family went to the burial site on the town cemetery and the rain just kept on falling and Julie thought shifted from bitter to sorrow. She thought of her new baby brother, Daniel. Who will love him like mama did to us? She thought. He will never felt the love of any mother, Julie mumbled, as her mother’s body was being lowered down to the ground. She then turned her head up to glance at her father’s and brother’s solemn faces. But we can try.

Weeks pass, and letters of condolence came by through no end. Jonathan asked the help of his eldest son to reply to all of them. Most of the ton was in sorrow at the lost of the kind and mysterious German lady that had captured the cold heart of Jonathan Dunning.

Julie too, writes all her sorrow and anger to Jeremy, and he replied quite frequently condolence and comfort words for her to hear. Taking Jeremy’s advice to find a distraction from the lost, Julie was trying to get as much information on taking care of a new born with the nursemaid.

“Just support his head, my Lady.” The nursemaid guided Julie’s hand under Daniel’s soft head. He had started to look more like a baby now, once the swelling had stopped, Julie thought that he was kind of cute. His thin blond hair was starting to grow and when he was awake, his light blue eyes shined at Julie with curiosity that she had to smile at him.