A Week of Azkaban (Complete mini-fic)

My Arawey

Horrifying screams permeated my already maddening mind as i was marched through the cells to my undoing. Several times, i was sent reeling into the wizards who escorted me as another addled prisoner leapt into their own bars pleading for release or worse. These starts of mine only resulted in my own misfortune as I was placed at wand point until I'd crossed the threshold of my new home. a small concrete box encased in mildew and grime. I could hear constant screaming, the sounds of terror and betrayal, of mistakes long regretted and of cold-hearted murder. I stood in the midst of my new grimy abode and listened to the monsters i would become before i neared the end of my sentence.

Hours passed and I had convinced myself in the back of my mind that I could cope with the misery of others. I would not break simply from the vocalizations of past mistakes. I'd lied to myself when my crime was sentenced, and i'd lie to myself much, much longer if it kept me from crumbling into the abyss of instability. Time hadn't moved kindly as i delved deeper into my own consciousness but i was eased out of it as the chill of evening set into my flesh. The sun, however, disagreed with the time of day and dread sank into my stomach.

Dementors. They flew down the hall and the screams of my prison-mates amplified, fed by the fears and haunting of their life. I could feel my own happiness slipping and I knew. I knew three years would kill me. Kill me as i deserved in the end. Something dark pricked in my mind whispering these wretched ideas and they continued until at last the nightmare incarnate had slithered through the air to my own bars, reaching, lunching in horrific grace. It's gaping face pulled me, it pulled my very soul away; everything I longed to be before and everything i had been in the past.

Arawey would not have wanted this for me, but she also would not have wanted me. Would not have loved me. And I was still here, suffering and failing, falling apart and pulling myself back together. I could still feel her cool hands, still feel her eyes locked onto mine. And then blackness, cool and welcoming as screaming pervaded the very edges of my memories.

I awoke again, in darkness that seemed to just begin to end. I pulled myself from a sprawled position and tucked myself into the farthest corner from the bars. I would not allow these memories to progress. I wouldn't. Such dark thoughts about the woman i loved, such evil disgraces of ideals. My Arawey. She wanted me to go on. She wanted me to carry out the life i sought to live. Yet it could not be as the dementors made rounds once more, and again I was forced to remember things that should never have been brought to light.

Her hands clenching tightly to my hair, her eyes wild with passion, and the hopes and dreams of our future bright in my mind. But if it meant more. If it only meant more. I clutched desperately to my face, I longed deeply to contain the images that flashed through my mind. And yet they still escaped, filling the dementors with sustenance and voiding me of my own until I once again woke. Daylight shone through cracks of the walls this time and I was sure i had been here at least days. If not weeks. I could not tell as the time between blackouts forced me to be unsure of how long i'd been in what muggles could have called hell.

The swooping memories, already eating me alive, were rabid as I pulled myself into a corner once more, my face burning somehow as the heat of the day collected on my brow. My fingers motioned to clear away the sweat and brushed wounds not unbeknownst to me. I had been desperate to keep Arawey pure in my memories and yet there she was still yet sprawled ahead of me, still yet crying and pleading. But no, no she couldn't have been. My Arawey loved me, still. She loved me.

Screaming broke my thoughts away and i knew there was more torture to come, surely i hadn't slept until the new rounds of dementors ensued. Surely there was peace to be had. I thought this as i heard coherency in my prison mates and pleading once more for freedom. I knew there was no chance yet i threw myself into the bars, my face contorted by the deep, fresh wounds of my desperation and the pressure of the spell-worked bars.

"LET ME FREE, DEAR WIZARD, LET ME FREE" The horrified new arrival they escorted reminded me of my own self but alas I now knew why the prisoners leapt at the bars as if starving animals. I starved for happiness, more-so than the food i'd yet to be brought. More-so than the hygiene i would ever see. More-so than the true freedom I begged for.

"BRING MY ARAWEY, MY LOVE, MY PET!" i called, for if only my love were to share my cell, i may yet endure the dementors for all I could think in her presence would be happiness.

A larger wizard approached the bars, puffing himself largely and swelling to twice my size. He bellowed and his words remained my my heart and mind the duration of my stay. The duration of my life.

"BRING HER? YOU TORE HER APART! SHE'LL BE LUCKY IF MUNGO'S ASSEMBLES HER PROPER AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

My hysterical laughter drowned out his continued ranting, at last I saw the whole picture. At last I recall my love in her true form. Clawing desperately to get away, screaming and pleading to be released from her torture. But alive. so very alive. So very receptive of my compassion and affections. But if Arawey were no longer together, if she could not longer respond to my advances, what life could i possibly live beyond these walls?