Letters that you never meant to send

Dear Uncle,

How are you? How is Ba Sing Se and the Jasmine Dragon? Are you getting to play lots of pai sho? I hope so. I hope that things are going well for you. Things are going well in the Fire Nation. I'm still recovering so that means I'm mostly restricted to the palace grounds, but it's OK Katara has been here everyday to tend to my injury and keep me company. Hopefully you've found someone to keep you company. How are the other members of the White Lotus doing? As soon as I get a free moment I'll have to stop by and see how everyone is getting along. The rest of team avatar is doing OK. They all send you their love. Speaking of love it's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about actually. Maybe we should be having this conversation in person, but it's too hard and too embarrassing, but Uncle I think that I maybe in love, but I don't know if she loves me back. I'm pretty sure you know who I'm talking about. It's the same someone I'm always talking to you about. Katara.

It all started back when we got trapped in the crystal catacombs together. What happened between us down there seemed like such a small moment, but for me it was one moment that changed my life forever. The moment Katara offered to heal my scar. The moment she touched my face something between the two of us started to change. I've never told Katara, but I had hope when I got back to Fire Nation and the one thing that gave me that hope was my faith in Katara and my faith in Katara's healing abilities. Katara didn't even heal my scar, but I knew that she could. I knew what a powerful waterbender Katara was. I knew she was powerful enough to bring Aang back from the dead. I even told my father before I left the palace that Aang wasn't dead, even though I had no way of knowing that for sure, but deep down I knew. I knew because it was Katara that had healed Aang, and from the moment she touched my face and offered to heal me I've had an unshakable faith in Katara, but I can't tell her.

Before we'd gone off to find the leader of the Southern Raiders we weren't even friends, but when rocks were about to crush Katara I was the one to save her and when I was about to fall to my death Katara was the one to save me. She was the one to reach for me and I reached out for her. So maybe her faith in me is unshakable too? When I told Katara that I knew how and where to find her mother's killer she went along with me without question. We still weren't friends at that point but she still went along with me. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with wanting revenge, but even still she went with me no questions asked. She trusted me even after I betrayed her in the worst way possible. Sometimes I think if she was able to trust me that deeply even when we weren't friends then maybe, just maybe she'll be able to love someone like me, but that's just my dream. In reality it seems too good to be true.

I've never told you this before now, but when I needed to work up the nerve to talk to you after betraying you in the crystal catacombs it was Katara who gave me the strength to go in your tent. It was her faith in me that pushed me along. It was the fact that she forgave me that gave me faith that you would forgive me too. My faith in her is why I chose to have her by my side when I went to fight. Then there is of course taking a bolt of lightning for Katara. I wasn't really thinking about her ability to heal me then. To be honest at that moment all I could think is that I'd rather die then live in a world that didn't have Katara in it. So how is it Uncle that I can take a bolt of lightning for Katara but I can't tell her how I really feel about her?

I know you Uncle, and I know you would say that I should tell her how I really feel, but I can't. What if she doesn't feel the same way about me? She might not be my girlfriend now, but at least she's my friend. At least she's in my life. If I told her how I feel and she didn't feel the same way it could ruin what we have. What if she found it too hard to be around me after I confessed my feelings? What would I do if she never wanted to see me again? I couldn't live with that. It be like dying for real this time. Maybe I'll get the courage to tell her one day Uncle, but not today. Beside I'm Fire Lord now, do you really think it be fair to ask her to be Fire Lady one day?