you and me - an Ethan Dolan fanfic

The Drive

Ethan's POV 

Song for the chapter: The Remedy for a Broken Heart by X

I needed to leave.

I ran upstairs, grabbing my car keys. I crept past Ellie's room, looking at her playing with her dolls. Her bright and loving soul radiated throughout the room, happiness overwhelming her. She had so much life left to live.

I came back downstairs, not even bothering to tell anyone where I am going. I slammed the door that led into the garage shut. 

"Honey?" My mom called after me. 

I didn't respond. 

I needed to get the fuck out of here.

Once I got in the car, I could not hold it in any longer.

I yelled so loud, I could already feel the scratch in the back of my throat. I slammed my fists on the steering wheel, rage overpowering me. I rolled down the window to find a stench in the air.  It was a burning smell, one that I could recognize instantly.

 I looked out front to find my father with a lighter in one hand and a cigarette in between his teeth. The foul odor used to make me cough and scrunch my nose, but I was used to it by now. 

I pulled up to where my dad was standing, his body turned to me while he holding a phone against his ear.

"Yes, I can head back into the office. No no, I am sure Cheryl. There is nothing worth being here anyways," I hear my dad chuckle.

He turned himself around facing me, and I immediately saw the regret plastered on his face. He must not have realized I had been listening.

"Son, I-" He began an explanation but I interjected.

"No worries dad. You have to go back to work, right? You need to go take care of some files with your young secretary Cheryl, right? You know, maybe you have fooled mom. Or maybe she loves you too much to leave you. But I am not naive. I always knew, and you just simply confirmed it. 'There is nothing worth being at home.' Yeah, there never has for you. And I guess there never will be," I shouted.

I didn't give him a chance to respond, I only drove down the driveway and onto the road.

My entire body shook with fear, confusion and anger. 

The news that I had just gotten, was the worst possible thing that I could have ever heard come out of someone's mouth. 

It was an utter nightmare.

 Now I couldn't even think. 

I could barely breathe. 

I screamed again, pounding my foot on the gas pedal. The car's speed accelerated, but I couldn't even feel the difference. 

I couldn't feel anything. I was numb. I needed it to stop.

 The pain. 

It had to stop eventually.

Right? 

All of a sudden, I had slammed my brakes. 

I pulled off onto the side of the road, resting my head on the wheel. My head was pounding from all of the crying. Distant thoughts of Ellie and my entire family flooded into my mind, making my breathing begin to rapidly increase. 

I closed my eyes.

 I decided I would take five deep breaths. Being on the side of the road did no good. 

After these five breaths, I would turn around, go home, and be with Ellie. I would comfort my mother, empathize with Grayson and Cameron, and attempt to tolerate my father. 

That is what's best, right? Ellie is still here, for a little longer, right? 

I began my deep breaths.

  One. 

I then thought to myself. 

In a few short months, she would be gone. 

Two.

A sudden memory came to mind. 

Ellie, running into my room. 

"Eth! Eth!" 

I had been mindlessly on my phone, talking to a random girl. 

"Eeeetttthhhhaaannnn" She whined. 

I looked up, annoyed. 

"What the hell do you want?" 

"Play barbies!" She reached out a barbie for me to take. 

I sarcastically smiled, and threw the barbie across the room. 

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM" 

She pouted, grabbed her barbie and ran away. 

Three.

Why didn't I just take the damn barbie? 

I angrily asked himself. 

I was never a good brother to her. 

Not once. 

Four.

I should have tried harder. 

Actually, I should have just tried.

 But I didn't. 

And now it's too late. 

She will be gone soon.

 Gone forever. 

Five. 

I opened my eyes.

 I knew what to do now. 

I pulled onto the road. 

I didn't turn the other way. 

In fact, I went the opposite direction from my house, not looking back. 

And that's when I bumped into the car in front of me.