never look back into that pit of despair

a sad way of thinking

copyright © HoodieAndJane ™ 2018-

All rights reserved

Warning: Strong language will be used.

what a joke, life is nothing but a joke, "full of surprises" they said, "every new step is an adventure" they said, well guess what... i disagree. Life is like my personal horror movie, my dreams are replays of the horrors and my life is an horror that isn't yet finished.

Right about now my mother or brother should be heading to my school to pick me up, my school which is my current location. Hopefully i get more than just a stupid ass suspension this time.. expulsion is right up my alley.

Quiet yet fast footsteps make their way to me, "you know.. the ice pack goes on your face right?" a girl, a senior at that stands at my feet staring at me, not bothering to look up at her i continue to show my amazement to the ever so pretty, ever so more entertaining window to my left. "Fine be like that" she puffs up her cheeks like a brat and leaves but not before a muttering a simple "freak" then vanishing from hearing distance.

The school halls once again go quiet, students must be back in class right about now, classes where postponed thanks to my "little" fight with the head teachers son, just thinking about him makes my blood boil, snobby little dick thinks he can do as he pleases.

Through the silence i can hear the talking of two approaching adults, one being the head teacher and one being my so called mother. "i apologise for calling you up like this miss sanders but its about time we go with the thing we had discussed after his last incident" their talking about that again, something they have been planning behind my back.

They walk in an awkward silence for a few seconds before my guardian sighs, "you don't need to apologise about calling me up, i'm just about use to it by now, i would have loved to avoid going with the plan but his behaviour is not getting any better, sometimes i blame it on the accident but that has no excuse for what hes doing"

Stopping in front of me i take the time to glare at my so called head teacher, "yeah, look at me like i'm the criminal, because no one believes the kid who's got no one on his side, every one believes the ever so perfect head masters son". I spat, taking my attention back to the window i can tell my mum wants to say something back but gives up.

"Just come on, grab your things and wait at the car" doing as she says i leave, walking past the many occupied classrooms and offices i exit the school building and make my way to the car park, there waits my mothers yellow beetle, i still remember the time i asked her why she got a yellow car, she just said its fun watching kids punch each other as they see her, the smile she held back then, it had so much power on it, only if i knew the smile was fake. All she does is silently cry, silently begging to get her real son and her beloved husband back when she thinks i'm sleeping. after all these years I still don't understand what she meant about kids punching each other as they see her.

"Parents are weird"

So few memories i have of my child hood, the many i want to forgot and the many i want to remember, so little memories of the 'incident' and so many sad memories of after. While in thought i make it to the car, realising i don't have the keys i give myself no choice but to sit and wait.

"Can't it at least be raining?" i groan and ask to no one in particular, rain is so beautiful, its hated the most out of most seasons but it still shines as it falls not caring what the world says about it. every individual rain drop makes it own sound as if singing its own sad silent song.

The sound of clicking heals force me to look up, the moment my mothers face comes to sight i look back down in shame, shes been crying again, probably begging the school to keep me. "In the car now" she tries to put on a harsh voice but she just doesn't have the heart to be harsh. Doing as she says i dump my school rucksack in the back before taking the passenger seat at the front.