Sincerely, Harry ♚ l.s

Sincerly Harry

Dear Louis,

It's been a while and I'm sorry, I really should've kept in touch. I've just never been keen of one sided conversations.

I thought it was about time to use my hands for something other than search for you in my bed sheets, and reaching for doorknobs hoping you'll be on the other side.

Anyways, how are you? I hope everything is good. Things are quite hectic and bland here lately, I don't sing as much anymore, and the boys and I thinking of calling it quits.

I spend a lot of my time searching your name on google. Seeing your face makes me smile, and other times makes me want to scream.

I wear your sweaters a lot, I hope that's okay. They smell like your cologne, and I guess that's what keeps me sane. It's one of the only things I have left of you.

I visited your Mom yesterday. I told her to tell you I said Hi, but she only frowned at me and nodded. It's been ruff for her to. She doesn't have that sparkle in her eyes, or make those witty jokes anymore.

I went our favorite spot at the park yesterday, I remember having our first kiss there, August 2, 2011. I miss that feeling, the way you bit my lip, and how your eyes sparkled so bright I could of sworn they would burst.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me, May 3, 2011. You sure did take your time, but the wait made it even more special.

I remember our anniversary, the 1st one, when we held hands and strolled down the streets of Paris.

But I also remember the day we decided to come out to management. The way you cried into my arms that night, saying you'd never be good enough for anyone. It broke my heart, because no matter what you think, no matter where you are, you will always be perfect to me.

I remember you losing that sparkle in your eyes, they were fading, and so were you.

I remember the day i found the cuts. You told me it was just a bad habit, you told me you would stop.

I shouldn't have trusted you.

Then the day that my whole world ended. The day I lost you.

Watching your lifeless body hang, panicking with tears, as I struggled to look for your pulse.

I remember screaming in agony as they rolled you away, because the pain in my chest was just to much to bare.

I remember your funeral, all the tears, all your sobbing relatives.

I remember, getting drunk every night, because at night was when i missed you the most.

And god dammit louis, sometimes I wish I couldn't remember anything at all. Like your beautiful voice, you were always insecure about it, but I thought it was amazing. Or the way you'd smile so bright when I'd cut your toast in the shape of a heart.

This was the one life i have, and It was spent watching you fade away.

But I wouldn't trade it for world, because the days you shined the brightest, were the days i detected my world to you.

I miss you.

Sincerely, Harry.