Won't Go Slowly

Part 10

You stayed.

Even though you'd been so determined to go home, when you'd seen how despondent he'd looked at the thought of you going home alone and you'd realized that even the 5-minute drive home suddenly seemed overwhelming, staying just seemed comfortable. The anger that you'd felt so strongly seemed to have burned off, being replaced by a quiet, drowsy sadness.

Gerry had followed you into the guest room bathroom, so you let him stay, shutting the door behind you as you faced yourself in the mirror. Your eyes looked horribly red and puffy, but the rest of your face looked shockingly pale in contrast, except for the stains left by your tears on your cheeks. You were taken aback at just how awful you looked, because you hadn't realized you'd broken down that much, and your heart physically ached knowing that Tyler had had to see you feeling just so much agony. You splashed cold water on your face continuously, all the while knowing that it would be hopeless in tricking anyone into thinking that you hadn't just been crying your eyes out.

You even wet a washcloth, pressing it to your eyes as you peed, hopeful that it would calm your eyes just a little bit. After you'd washed your hands, you went to dry them, but Gerry was looking up at you, so you crouched down, pressing your cheek against the side of his body, breathing in his scent, fresh tears being absorbed into his fur as you sobbed gently. Your hands were still wet and you knew your cheeks were too, but he stood steady until you stood up, rubbing him behind the ear and bending down to press a kiss to his head. He'd tried to lick your salty tears when you' been right there but, instead, you'd stood up, splashing your face with water, knowing that if you let him, you'd probably only just continue to cry.

You opened the bathroom door, and Tyler was just sitting on the side of the bed. He stood up, handing you a glass of water and watching you take a few tentative sips, and then he extended his hand with a Tylenol in it, and you realized that your temples were throbbing, a dull ache covering your skull.

"Thank you," you said simply, knowing that you wanted to say more, to apologize or explain your behaviour; but you knew if you did that you'd break down again.

"Yeah," he replied, like it was no big deal at all, and you were thankful he didn't say something like 'You don't have to thank me' or 'of course', implying that he'd do anything for you, because that'd make you cry, too.
Once you were done, he took the glass from you, pressing clothes you hadn't seen folded at the foot of bed into your hands, and you accepted them gratefully. "I'm just going to get changed," you said, hoping that your voice showed your appreciation.

This time when you went into the bathroom, you just focused on the task at hand, avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror. When you came back out, Tyler was sitting in the edge if the bed again, but the covers had been pulled back, the bed ready for you to just crawl into and he stood up, indicating as such.

" Tyler," you said weakly, fresh tears sliding down your face, even though you'd really thought you were done. Calmly, he just hooked his arm around your shoulder, sitting you both down on the side of the bed. He kept his arm there as you cried, silently and softly. He didn't say anything, didn't tell you to stop crying or say it was going to be okay or attempt to reason with you. He didn't rub your back or make noises of sympathy or understanding. He just sat there, with you, and let you cry, you bodies only touching at your hips and where his arm was still held around your shoulder. And he didn't move, not even when Gerry jumped onto the bed, the whole mattress shaking, or every time you shifted to wipe at your nose.

Eventually, the tears slowed to a stop, and your head started to feel light and airy, so you rested it on his shoulder. Tyler's arm came up, wrapping it around your head, holding you steady. After what seemed like it could gave been both 5 minutes or two hours, your eyelids started to feel heavy. At first you just shut them, but then your body felt too tired to hold up anymore, so you gently pulled away from him, turning your feet to slip them under the pulled back covers, your eyes still shut as you reached to pull the rest of the blankets up over you, and then you could feel Tyler's hand next to yours, adjusting the covers over you, so you dropped your hand to your side, letting him. You could sense him there, watching you for a moment, your breathing deep and your eyes rested shut, but you couldn't say anything, steady in that place between sleep and wake, and you heard him leave, probably thinking you'd fallen asleep.