Call of the Wolves

3. Family Reunions

"Where are you going? I can take you," Finn says, still following inches behind me, his diligence clashing with my annoyance.

Too far. Damn it. Halting in my tracks, the continuous swelling in my mind that shouts at me to keep walking stills as the realization sets in that I have no choice. Any other option will be too late in getting there, and what I have to do can't wait any longer. I have to do this, regardless of how. One car ride for me to get the answers I need, I have to.

A sigh escapes with a heavy breath, a simple indication followed by a quick nod in agreement. Without missing a beat, Finn closes the short gap between us to now walk besides me, guiding the two of us to his car.

As we reach his car after an eternal voyage, the torment of my mother and the memory of our accident stabs at every corner of my mind abates, being replaced with a separate affliction of having to be in the same space as Finn. Opening the door to the passenger side, Finn starts the engine of his car and pulls up the navigation app on his phone.

"Where am I taking you?"

"The institution," the words play gently from my lips and Finn remains silent, typing the address into his keyboard.

The thought of seeing her again dreads inside me, especially since the last time was a month after she was taken away—my first birthday without her. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever had to do, seeing her where she was and knowing why she was there. Everything happened right before my fifteenth birthday; a time where I should be enjoying high school events, hanging out with friends, readying myself for the next journeys I'll take in this world. Instead, I became afraid and shut myself out from the world. It's been nearly three years, but what happened to me will haunt me forever.

My last visit rings vividly in my mind. "Everything is going to be alright," she told me, and I actually believed her. That was until her next words were a warning to "never let the howls turn to words." That's what led to that being my last visit, only dropping by to leave gifts for holidays or birthdays. But I haven't seen her since.

I used to write letters, sometimes even poems I jotted down during classes, but over the years I stopped writing. It was easy to believe all her babble was nonsense, but now with everything that's happening, I don't know. It's funny, looking at myself now. After all these years, I'm in the same straightjacket as her. The question is; am I going crazy, or is she actually sane? Can this still be nonsense? Whatever the case, I'm finally ready to listen, desperately hoping for answers.

After a few moments in the car, Finn lowers the music that had been playing from the radio. "I'm sorry. You know I never intended to hurt you." A soft sadness tints his words. "I miss you."

Finn has always missed me. Whether I was hiding out for a few days after a fight with my parents, or even missing a day of classes. Before everything, I would have said with full certainty that Finn was the greatest person I know. Until he turned out to be like the rest. What he did cut deeper than any of the words people spewed out at me. How they claimed if my mother's insane, I must be too, joking about her breakdown as if it were some comedic sitcom.

When I say the incident ruined my life, I really fucking mean it.

"I'm not doing this with you," I say, my voice drained of any emotion at this point. It's not the time to be playing this game with Finn, not when I know what I have to do in a few moments.

"What am I supposed to do, Serelia? I keep trying to talk to you, but every time I do you walk away. I don't know how to fix this, how to make you forgive me."

"I don't want you to fix this, you can't. Not once did you stop the name-calling or torment. You laughed at their jokes despite calling me your best friend. You're the one who left me for her. That's not on me." I don't know if he started the rumor or not, or even if it was his girlfriend. Either way, he didn't have anything to say in my defense. Sometimes silence is as bad as starting the rumor.