Life, The Way It Is.

The Mask

               I looked in his eyes one last time before he stormed out. The mesmerizing blue eyes which once held love and care now clouded with the grey of hurt and betrayal. And for the worst part, I was the reason for that cloud.
              I was left in the room cradling my thoughts, trying to find the flaw in my calculations. I had done it all, the brands, the manners, the habits. I had spent so many hours trying to find the perfect mask for this new life I had decided to adapt.
               Bankrupt and humiliated, my father and I had planned this new life together. The story to be told back home and the life which we were to lead was all fixed. Then how did it go wrong? Why couldn't I keep my mask on when I needed it the most? Why did I have to let the truth lay naked to be seen by all? Why did I not try to stop it? Could it be that I felt good? Could it be that I felt free? Could it be that the truth had finally set me free? Free from the lie after so long?
                 The questions never stopped but deep down I knew all the answers.  I knew that I was tired of pretending; I knew that I had to unleash the real me, the cruel, dark me. The darkness had been suppressed for way to long and it begged to show itself a little more every day. And on this cold ruthless night it made an appearance. I had violated every rule of social acceptance. I had single-handedly managed to sabotage every relationship I had built in this new life I had hurt the one person I actually cared for and now I was stranded, engulfed in my own darkness.
                    But I also knew that although I was alone, I felt happy, truly happy. I had no secrets to keep, nothing to loose and no one to pretend for. It all lay like an open book. After a long time I was me, the me which I liked. Yes I missed him but I had missed myself more. My perfect life was falling apart, but I was free. My mask had slipped off.....

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